?' -r
SOMETHING
DIFFERENT
86
By COSMO HAMILTON
by McClurr N? w.ipa per Syndicate.
WNU Service
WITH queer einotloD Crulckshanks
said. "Look upon me
as tbe Big Joke as every
body does, but let me tell
you this. I'd exchange my millions at
any moment, every cent o' em. for
your empty pockets, your gorgeous
laugh, your flying exploits and your
confidence in yourself."
This strange and unexpected confession
took Worthing's breath away.
He asked. "What's the great Idea?
You were telling me that you'd like
to marry that girl In the hotel. You
said you'd give your hopes ot heaven
if she'd be your wife. I said. 'Why
make any such sacrifice? Tell her
about your money. Tell her you're
Cruickshanks' Cosmic Corn Cure and
she'll leap Into your arms.'"
A hand was clapped over his mouth.
Cruickshanks went pale with horror.
"Don't mention." he said, "those awful
>rds again. . . But that's the
ex. lanation. The words sum It up.
I'm a comic-tragic figure. I'm America's
Big Joke. I'm ashamed of my
wealth and the thing that's gained it
and of being the national laugh. It's
followed me all through life. From
my first day at school when every hoy
grinned nnd yelled out, 'llello. bow's
your feet?' and the teacher made fun
ui in* 10 t->.i ;uni8n niinseir us a wii.
Ever since then the corn cure has
been flung Into my face. . . I go
Into n store anil have only to give my
name to see I he t*n cure smile In
everybody's eyes. Every living clerk
says, 'I'm wearing one of 'em now.
The old familiar Joke Is cracked
wherever I happen to be. I get Into
conversation with grave and elderly
men and am treated as an ordinary
person until the exchange of cards
Then the laugh, then the deadly grin.
Others wouldn't care. Others would
take the money and spread It over
pride. But I was born with the desire
to be a heroic figure. Bob?a
preacher, a soldier, a poet, a member
of a glorious profession which brings
honor and respect. How. as the Big
Joke, without humiliation, can I ask
a girl to he my wife when I know she
will hurst out laughing and immediately
refer to my feet?"
Bis soul was In depression and
there was suffering on his face. He
watched Bob Worthing, called to the
telephone, make for the hotel. When
he returned f*-om a lonely walk It was
with the dire expectation of meeting
the well-known grin. But the clerk
leaped over his counter and came up
with a smile. His expression was respectful
and even obsequious, "ilow
do you like Northeast Harbor, doc
tor? It's the greatest place on earth."
An elderly gentleman, puffing a little.
extended an admiring hand. "I am
honored to greet our most distinguished
scientist at this hotel," he
said.
A charming woman with white hair
hurried in from the porch. "Let me
be among the first to welcome you,"
she said. "We have had many dlstinruished
visitors but you're the most
thrilling of all "
Cruickshanks held his breath. He
had heard of his famous namesake
who was known all over the world
He stood with a whirling bead. It
was a case of mistaken identity.
Should he let it stand? Being so desperately
In need of a mental and spiritual
tonic should he succumb to temptation
and enjoy the flattery of deference
which he iad never had? "It
delights me and It frightens me." he
muttered, marching up and down.
"But as I'm not responsible for being
taken for some one else I will ; ut It
up to Fate. I'll let things take their
course, at least for several days. It
rill give me the needed confidence to
meet that dear sweet girl." . .
With a rapid Increase of pulse he saw
that ahe had come out through the
big door aod was now facing the sea.
She epitomised the Ideal wife whose
Imaginary picture he had hung up In
Phis bouse. As Charles G. Crulckshankj
be would not have bad the
courage to say a single word. 'As the
famous Doctor Crulckshanks It was
quite a different thing. "Glorious
weather." he said.
8be gave blm a charming smile
"It's perfectly wonderful."
"Bow long are you going to be
here?" Be bad never seen such eyes.
"Well, It rather depends on father.
Be's fond of moving about"
Be bad never seen such hair. "My
plans are a little uncertain, but 1
should love to take you sailing while
I am here." The fact that all of a
sudden be bad become a man of dlstlnctlc
gave blm ths Immediate gift
of an easy flow of words. It seemed
to him that they might bare been
friends for yearn It seemed to him
that she treated him not as a cele
The Cherokee Scout,
brated person but as an ordinary \
nice nan whom she appeared to like
very much. She saw in him, he
thought, one who was naturally eager
to enjoy p little sail and the pleasure
of being with her.
But before the girl could answer a
short and perky person, obviously
pugnacious, issued from the hotel He '
bore down upon Crulckshanks. Hearing
a large fat book. "Have you studied
the law?"
"Studied the law?" said Crulckshanks.
and railed to understand.
"Do yot know anything about the 1
various punishments for misrepresent- .
ation of facts?"
"No." said Crulckshanks sharply.
"Please explain what you mean."
A gleerul smile spread Itself all over
the Intruder's face, "impersonation." j
he said "with attempt to delude and
defraud. Two. five, seven and ten
years are often given for that."
"You may be right." said Crulckshanks.
"but why on earth tell me?"
"Tn ?kA ..nnrfnotlirMl Xnd I
?v? ? ?. ji?Wi I
gullible people who are staying In this
hotel. The famous Doctor
Crulckshanks. according to this book, j
Is a big man in every sense of the
word. Age. fifty-six. Head, hairless?
magnificent dome Face large, noble? i
a patriarchal beard. I have lust looked
at his photograph and that's how I
t ow."
Drops of Icy water ran down
Crulckshanks* spine. His voice had
disappeared
Mary Morbury spoke. "What makes
you suppose that this gentleman
passed himself off as the man who j
wrote that book?"
"He told th? clerk he was."
"He di nntning of the sort. If
you'll look In the register you'll find
that my friend signed a9 'C. G.
(Truickshnnks' as he always does. The
misleading statement as to his being
Doctor Crulckshanks was made by a
go? d looking young man who has a
gorgeous laugh. I heard hlra. I wns
standing at the desk. . . Don't
feel that you are bound to stny. You 1
may have something better to do."
"Thank you. Thank you," said
Crulrkshrnks. "1 thought you were ,
Joan of Arc."
"No." she said, "Mary Marbury of
Mlddleboro. Mass."
Cmlckshnnks saw a light It was
Bob. his only friend except Mary, who,
on the spur of n kind but mistaken
moment had formed this troublesome
scheme to kill the corn cure laugh.
Ho * lorg would It be before It rippled
from the charming lips of his capable
ideal? It would kill him when It
came. Was It conceivable that she,
alone among mortals, had never heard
of the dreadful meaning that It conveyed
to other minds? But her hand
was warm on his arm.
"Let's go sailing tomorrow." she
said. "Shall we say ten o'clock
sharp? Fair and warm. 1 shouldn't
wonder, with a lovely sailing wind."
He possessed himself of her hand. ,
He wished to heaven that he had i
French blood. He would have raised
It to his Hps. Tomorrow at ten o'clock
sharp. But how could he deceive
he* ? Re had waited so Ions to find
her and she was far too good for that.
He pulled himself together and
swallowed something hard. She felt
a sudden tremble In his hand. She
thought how nice he was and how extremely
kind he looked. She liked
Mr meditative expression. He was
modest, celf-effaclng and queerly humble,
she thought. He seemed to her
t- have the right to look Into the eye#
of Destiny without the slightest fear.
He was on the sunny side of thirty,
too -old enough to have suffered, old
enough to be young.
mt feel that I must tell you that the
Initials against my name stand for
Charles U? as those of my father did."
"Yes, I know." she said.
And still there was no laugh.
"But 1 feel that I ought to tell you,"
he said, "to be perfectly honest and
fair, that I am the?the Cosmic Cor?
Cor?"
Her lingers necarae warmer man
ever in tiia hand.
"I know." she said, with a grnt. U
smile. "That's why I came to yonr
rescue That's why I like you so
much. One good turn deserves anoth
er. I'm wearing one of them now."
Another Use for Sugar
?Windows Made From It
Windows of 1 mses, motor cars and
other transpare t articles may be
made from treac \ a sirup obtained
from refining sng> r. An English scientist
has developed which
may prove one of the most important
Inventions for many years. At the
present time the world produces more
sugar than It can ose for rood.
The Invention,' as described In London
Tlt-Blts. Is a process by means of
which crude sngar In the form of molasses
or treacle can be converted Into
a substance as hard and as transparent
as glass. It has, moreover, the
valuable property of passing the
health-giving ultra-vollet rays which
are stopped by ordinary window glass.
The material can be blown, molded as
rolled, Jnst like glass
Murphy, N. c., Friday, F<
IMPROVED"1 J
UNIFORM INTERNATIONAL
Sunday i
chool Lesson
tBy REV. P. B FITZWATER. I>- D.. Mem- ;
ber of Faculty. Moody Bible
Institute of Chicago.)
O. Itll. Western Newspaper Union.
Lesson for February 11
TIMELY WARNINGS
(Temperance Lesson).
LESSON TEXT?Matthew 7:1-29.
GOLDEN TEXT?Every tree that
bringeth not forth good fruit Is hewn
down, and cast Into tho fire. Matthew
7:19.
PRIMARY TOPIC?The Golden Rule.
JUNIOR TOPIC?Keeping Jesus* Uw.
INTERMEDIATE AND SENIOR TOPIC?The
Truth About Alcoholic Beverages.
YOUNG PEOPLE AND ADULT TOP- ,
IC?Drastic Methods for a Deadly Evil.
i. Concerning Censorious Judgment*
(VT 1-12).
1. The sin and folly of (vv. 1-5).
This prohibition should not be so construed
as to forbid our making an estimate
of the lives of those about us,
for "by their fruits ye shall know
them." Neither should it prevent OS '
from administering rebuke to those
who deserve it. It is not wrong to
condemn the errors and faults of those
who are practicing sin; neither does
it mean that sin should go ::r. rebuked
until we ourselves are perfect. It does
definitely and vigorously rebuke readiness
to blame others and to magnify
their weaknesses and errors.
2. The duty of discrimination In
dealing out holy things (v. f?). The
frncnol uhnnlil ho nroonh<v1 ?/* ?11 TKo
Word of God should he proclaimed to
all, hut at the same time it should be
borne in mind that "dogs and swine"
have no comprehension of holy things, j
. 3. Qualification for discrimination
(vv. 7-12).
a. A life of prayer (vv. 7-11). '
Only those are able rightly to divide
the word of truth who live in close
communion with God.
b. The disposition to treat others
as one would be treated by others (v.
12). The Word of God and the common
ludgment of mankind constitute a
definite standard of life so far as that (
standard bears on the principle governing
the life. In all doubtful ques- !
lions between man and man we should
deal with our fellows as we would i
have them deal with us. In fact, the
whole law concerning human relations
Is compressed into this one rule.
31. Entrance Into the Kingdom
Urged (vv. 13. 14).
Before everyone there are set two
ways and only two ways, life and '
death, heaven and hell. Two gates
open out Into these ways. The nar- J
row gate Is the way of life. The invitation
Is for all to enter this gate. ,
III. The Warning Against False
Teachers (vv. 15-20).
1. Their real existence (v. 15). Ever j
since God had a people, false proph- j
ets and teachers have appeared among
them. That they appear everywhere
need not surprise us. for Christ foretold
that such should arise.
2. Their nature (v. 15).
a. They are hypocritical. They
are emissaries of Satan. The devil |
does his most successful work by masquerading
as an angel of light (II Cor.
11:14, 15). All through the centuries
Satan's success has come mainly
through* his ability to deceive.
b. They are destructive. This Is
suggested by their being "ravening
wolves." False teachers are doing
their most deadly work while pretending
to be loyal to the Bible and to
Jesus Christ.
3. The unfailing test (vv. 16-18).
"By their fruits ye shall know them.**
Every tree bears its own kind of fruit
Nature is inexorable In her laws as
to this. Tt is equally true In the spiritual
world.
4. Their ultimate end (v. 19). All
false teachers shall ultimately be punished
by being cast Into the fire. Although
God has Infinite patience and
bears long, he will see to it that this
eril work does not go on forever.
IV. The Dangers of Empty Profession
(vv. 2J-23).
1. Merely calling Christ "I-ord" will
not answer for doing bis will (v. 21).
2. One may do supernatural works
and still be lost (vv. 22, 22). Not all
supernatural works are divine. The
devil Is a supernatural being. All evil
doers are under tits sway.
3. A coming separation from God
(v. 23). One may have been a Sunday
school teacher or a minister and
have performed many mighty works
and yet hear from Christ the awful
declaration, "I never knew yon: depart
from me ye that work Iniquity."
V. The One and Only Safe Way (vv.
24-29).
1. Hear the sayings of Christ (v.
24).
2. Do what Christ commands (vv,
24-29).
Whan Wa Are Deed
We may live when we are dead?not
only, as we trust. In Heaven, but also
by the Impress we made In Christ's
same upas others.
ebruary 9, 1934
LIFE IN COUNTRY
SHOWN TO HAVE
MANY ADVANTAGES
"Increased earnings and enjoyment
of country life are the principal advantages
of living in the country, and
transportation costs and lack of conveniences
are the chief disadvantages.
These reasons were given most frequently
hy 700 part-time farmers in
six New York counties, says Kenneth
Hood of the New York State College
of Agriculture, who is making a study
of the advantages of the rural home
for the city worker.
Locations on hard-surfaced roads
are preferred because of lower transportation
costs, more modern conveniences
and opportunities to cater to
tourist trade and to sell garden produce
at roadside stands.
Newcomers from the city say that
actual living costs In the country are
tflniUi ?2TiO zk year lower than !n the
city, and that the chief reduction is
In house rent. Also garden, poultry
and dairy products supplement the
regular income.
"A few acres of good soil prove the
best investment and a large acreage
of poor, abandoned land the most disastrous,"
Mr. Hood saj s. He also
points out that "the experiences of
these part-time farmers show that it
Is more economical to buy a farm
vrith buildings than It 1?* to buy lnn?l
and Imibl on it, and that city persons
might do well to rent for a year or
two before buying."
The six New York counties covered
in Mr. Hood's survey are Albany.
Chemung. Itensselaer, Saratoga.
Schenectady and Tompkins counties.
Destroying Evidence
Jimmic?What you doin'?
Itillie?Wasliin* the jelly ofT my
hands. Ma's a fingerprint expert.
Read \\
but don't ignori
"a J it)A -relieve cos
Kt -take the ei
1 -avoid dang
J^:i\
A doctor will tell you that the careless
use of harsh laxatives will often
do more harm than good.
Harsh laxatives often drain the
system, wveaken the bowel muscles,
and even aflect the liver and
kidneys.
Fortunately, the public is fast
returning to laxatives in liquid form.
Can Constipation
be safely relieved ?
"*Yesl" say medical men. "Yes!"
say thousands who have followed
this sensible medical advice: 1.
Select a good liquid laxative. 2.
Take the dose that you find suited
to your system. 3. Gradually reduce
the dose until bowels are moving
regularly without assistance.
Dr. Caldwell s byrup Pepsin is a
prescription a 1 preparation containing
senna, a natural vegetable laxative
which relieves constipation
gently and safely. Why not try it?
Some pill or tablet may be more
convenient to cany. But there is
no "convenience" in any cathartic
that's taken so frequently, you
must carry it wherever you go I
What is the "Right"
Laxative?
In buying any laxative, read the
label. Not the claims, but the
contents. If it contains doubtful
Aato Rtor*r?
Parking Immrdl- V-?.,*. -fCElTi
ately Adjacent to
*ATL
J. WILL Y(
A NEW AND BETTER I
300 ROOMS?300 BATHS
RATES
1 CAFE IN CONNECTION.
Breakfast, Dlaaet
Corner Luekie & Con
Page Three
Beware of Doubting
in Making Contracts
Early in tin* Eighteenth century,
stays a writer in the London Morning
Post, a farmer made a contract
which he thought was a good one for
him. lie undertook to deliver for
the sum of ?."> two grains of rye on
the following Monday, four grains a
week Inter, eight grains the week
after that, and so on for a year. All
went well for some weeks, hut presently
he found that his final delivery
at the end of the year would require
more rye than was sown in the
whole of England. A lawsuit took
place over the contract. What the
farmer had not realized was that
though twice?two are four, two multiplied
by Itself fifty-two times comes
to nearly ten thousand billion. This
numl?er of grains of rye would represent
about eight thousand million
bushels. An arre of rye produces
about ten bushels, so one can work
out how many acres would have been
required to riiliiii liie couirucL Another
famous "two times" case was
that of the blacksmith who undertook
to shoe a horse for a payment
of one farthing for the first nail, a
half-penny for the second, a penny
for the third, and so on. At first
sight this seems quite a reasonable
charge?hut try working it out!
Snooty Coal
A new chemically treated coal for
the open fireplace burns with a pinescented
odor, and another new kind
produces flames in any color, to
match the decorative plan of the
room.?Collier's Weekly,
Dr. Pierce's Favorite Prescription makes
weak women strong. No .alcohol. Bold
uy druggists la uiDiets or liquid.?Adv.
With Good Reason
Vox populi is tlio voice of the people,
and it says, "Ouch!"
a
ie "Ads" !
e medical opinion
it to
istipation gently and safely
tact dose suited to your need
;er of bowel strain
drugs, don't UiVc it. Dr. Caldwell's
Syrup Pepsin contains no mineral
drugs. By using it, you avoid danger
of strain.
How many dimes and quarters
arc spent on "popular" laxatives!
How quickly they count up, if you
frequently use habit-forming helps!
A bottle of Dr. Caldwell's Syrup
Pepsin would save you money?
and bring you real relief.
Why Doctors give a
liquid laxative
The habitual use of harsh
salts, or powerful drugs in
the highly concentrated form
of pills or tablets is risky.
The properly prepared
liquid laxative will bring a
perfect movement without
uiscomiori or injury, you
need not take a "double
dose" a day or two later.
The public can always get
Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin
at any drug store.
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