Page Six J\. Fevu % Little # Smiles O Vir-iai-V -?A' WHAM A little man was ushered into tin witness box. After the usual prelimi naries, the magistrate told him to tel the court what happened. The man began in rambling narra tlve and finally ended up with: "And then my wife hit me on th< head with an oak leaf." "Well, that couldn't have hurt you surely." said the magistrate. "Oh. couldn't it?"' replied the little man, with feeling. "It was the oak leaf from the center of the dining room Tahie."?l.<>ridon Answers Maga zine. LIVE WIRE r Dotty?Ami don't you go in for sport of any kind? Jimmy?oh. vans, don't you know, I'm?haw?passionately fond of dominoes. Exit It was the firm's annual dance. TinJunior hookkoopor had chosen a very attractive partner. "Bv the way," he volunteered nfl they dance*!. "I'm glad our manager Isn't here tonight. I Jo's an ass of a man." She stopped dancing. "Young man," sne snuppeii angrily, "Uo you know who I a in?" 'Not the faintest hlea," he said, easily. "Well. I'm I lie manager's wife!" "Ciee whiz!" he exclaimed. "Now, do you know who 1 am?" "No," said his partner. "Thank goodness for that!" lie re plied, as he backed hurriedly away. Just Chrcking Up Mother?What is that hook you arc reading, Charlie? l.little Charlie?It's a hook called "Child Training" that I borrowed from Mrs. Jones. Mother?Do you find it amusing? Little Charlie?Oh, no! I merelj wanted to see if I had been brought up properly!, Irony of Fate Visitor?You look a hit glum. Broth er Perkins! Have you received bad news from home? Island Uplifter?Yes. My rich Uncle Reuben Is Just deceased and has lefl all his money to those dodgasted heathen! Now they're better off thar I am.?Brooklyn Eagle. OUGHT TO KNOW 'Brown must be a sinner." "Why?" "I heard his wife say he was n< saint." Still Need His Services Artless?An apple a day keeps th< doctor away. Attaboy?But we eat enough othe stuff to bring him back. IDidn I Stay I foozled with that fellow," sali the real estate agent mournfuly. "Toll him that Plunkvllle was the mot healthful town In the state." "Welir "ile was a doctor." Strong Point Editor?There's one thing I ill abont your Jokes, Scribbler. Joke Writer?What's that! Editor?Erery time I forget them have to laugh. r The Cherokee Scout, Murphy, N. OUR COMK Q Events in the Liv* q .ptr cf. l^v i i THE FEATHERHEADS J ANOTHER DAY V f hope i cam cjet \ / a seat im the car. \ " ^ h3 ^ amp be able. to J = i en toy reading- j = r? b the news oni fa ^ ~vl the way homeb" j - ^ \ li A Profession ANCIENT "I understand both our sons are ___ studying in Paris." "vep. Mine is a writer. lie writes fnr niAnnv " "Mine is an artist. He draws on I nic."?Congregationalist. 1 7?^ Might Try Blindfolding I "Last week a grain of sand got In- I y/Tx 5 to my wife's eye. It cost me $3." 1 ^ "That's nothing. Last week a fur | coat got In my wife's eye and It cost me $300." "Dodds brags a cestors." r SLIPPERY WAYS ~*el\, T!,ey're " 1 bis family In some worth boasting of.' 1 IT1 Tb. P.rfrc j "You and your w it flUI|l|l iHtTn 1 devoted to eacb otl "Yes, we are as iHIIIUlimMt other as my incomt Cincinnati Enqnlrei Ailing Co ? "How did yonr wife take It, when "Well, madam, you showed her that thonsand-dollar you?" bank note?" "Pains fn my ar I "Like she always does?slipped It nft my arm over ont of my pocket while I was asleep." the same with my w?s???s?? C.. Friday, February 9, 1934 n SECTION es of Little Men |~J Read as You Ride ;? { AH ! there'S A HISTORY Suspicious Circumstance Judge (to servant acting as a wltness)?Have you ever seen your master under the influence of lntoxicat* ^^3 Ing liquor? / Witness?No, your honor, 1 can't ^3? saJ ^at 1 have, but I have seen him lying on the floor swearing that he'd i ^ cuicii umi oea tne next time it came /r\l around \ 1 Lucky Chap L.J "You seem idle." "The boss likes to see me Idle." lot about bis an- "Huh 1" "This Is the complaint denartle only members of ment." time that have been OLD MEANY t Marriage 1 SLj ! is to my outgo."? ^\ / atortioaiat {hd r what's wrong with " / ~i~jf ,= ids ? I can hardly . 1\ my head and It's "Ion never dance with Mr. Lobster." legs. "No, he pinches too hard." I I r-n^H On the | I J? Funny Side AN EXPERT ? During the holiday traffic rush, two speed cops, noticing a young woman who was driving dangerously, shot ahead of her and drew up their car broadside, so that the culprit had to stop. "Excuse me, young lady," said one ; of the officers, sarcastically, "do you S know anything about driving a car?" "Of course." said the bright young thing, "what's your trouble?" Call a Plumber City Hoy?Say. dad. how many kinds of milk are there? Father?Well, there's evaporated rnilk, buttermilk, malted milk and? but why do you wish to know? "Oh. I'm drawing a picture of a cow and ! want to know how many spigots to put on her."?Farm Journal. Political Unrest -Do you believe that ixditics makes strange be