Page Six*j
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[j Events in the Lin
fTTK^E
WJPVLP Ask HEE TO Ljr mr^ r~#on ANC
CALL IHHECPC6 50 , I HER SHE LI
CCHJLP OBT VDoq Y^ffl \ IT R?R ^
L__?
THE FEATHERHEADS
ft Ves-IMUST Go Mow? Yg|T
Vou COME ovefc
Mates** jal
("* You MEKJ ARE ALLW VJELL? I'LL. ^ |
Trie SAME? Mgv/ER \ GRAMT THAT
REMEMBER, THE rV YOli'FtE PARTLY
\M? ?
W*?t#rB N?wap*p?r Uclon
Foresight LONG TIME
"Jlggs always gets the best of a
job/' said Bill the Burglar. "Last ? - ->si ^,
night him an' me trimmed a provision I I K~W &
"Did he get all the money?"
"No. He let me take the cash while j_ll \.
he slipped around and gathered in
all the sirloin steaks." xnT<
A Spoilsport
Lady?Come back here, boy! That
Ice isn't safe.
Boy on Bank?That ain't fair, ?
missus; I bet him a nickel he'd fall in. "Have you ever t
of marriage, sir?"
patcHworkers "Indeed I have, ev?
mony."
M| Johnny?Mother, ]
' haven't got anybody
Mother?Well, go o
morning and I don't
well enough to come c
"I'm not happy unless 1 have an en- Judge?How can y<
gagement every evening." to swindle peopie wt
"Me, too. With a couple of broken in you?
engagements to patch op the next Prisoner?Well, yot
day." the only ones that yoi
""f c ': * " v HT ~ ""rt*." !'* *i;TT^ * u** "-. '** Vp"1 "*" ' "
:: section |
=fn 1
'5 o/ L/tf/e Mew
bliljiia.. !
-? ??- . i '" . . .. ^
^ 1
The Point of View !
WHAT WAS THE'T:S T*AT BRUTE or j
ITO WiTH Of^HERJ '
MRS *Tn^T? SWpl ~ 'EfR^A< WAS |
tA ^"THEiFL WETDDlMGr
JFF'^^,12 ifl AMMtV/ER-SAR-T AMD _. i
HAvje- BEEMJ.l HE F0R60T ALU T
T 1' ' " ** *" * ? '~rf 1 * 1 'uej
fr-vr-i~r. Ves.'-To The wives k
IT WAS AW IMPORTANT
^'6HT/'/c>ccas,on; BECAUSE
b^T:t><EvC LOo<EC> SPLENDlP
H^lW <jOR6eoUS ffOWMS
BUT WE MEM RECALL lT AS
f A time WHEM WE" FELT (
jjC J^AND LOOKEP J
, AHEAD Obscurity
"Do you aspire to be a social
1 leader?"
(A I "No," answered Miss Cayenne. "I
I don't want to be either prominent in
I society or in motion pictures. It mav
Frt'ttV avN?i be mJ fortune some day to marry, and
"7 fl Tj, \ \ in case of divorce I should prefer to
~^jl y J/ remain too obscure to merit headlines
?T of pictures."?Washington Star.
Primitive Cellophane
Teacher?Robert, explain what are
the functions of the skin,
hought seriously Bobby?The chief function of the
skin is to keep us from looking raw.
>r since the cere
TERRIBLE JOLT
>U>
I'm lonesome. 1 ^ 4
ut and play with M*w)
believe he'll be fl?
ut yet. XJ yV
>u be so mean as "Jones told roe If anything happened
10 put confidence he would fall back on his voice for a
living."
ir honor, they ere "I would hate to take a fall like
a can swindle. that.**
r;I?FV4^V^V25, 1934
/^Just '
THAT WOULD MOVE THEM
"My dear." said the host to his wife
a her finding him in tlie bedroom
[h a wet towel clasped to his brow,
I .-imply can't stand these people any
oncer. I've go! a splitting headache."
-Itut," said the wife. "I can't possl>ly
a-ik them to go home. They are
?ur guests, remember."
"Certainly you can't put them out."
ie acreed. "but you could at least go
md seat yorrself at the piano."
CITY STUFF
II j
"You must have many queer experl- i
?nces in the city.
*\\> do. Once I actually ran across
t fellow whose name was Hiram.**
Avoiding Publicity
The young; lawyer in cross-exauilnaion
of a landlady, was trying to dis- :
credit htr boarding house in tlie eyes ,
>f the Jury. She spoke of certain lOdg- |
>rs who never went out at night and i
le pounced on her at once.
"A queer set of people seem to live i
n your house, madam." he said. "Are
noy in training for monks that they ;
hide themselves from the public?"
"No. sir," replied the landlady,
"they're studying for the law !'*?Stray
Stories Magazine.
For Meals, Not Maladies
He had been trying to secure the j
attention of a waitress for twenty min
utes, but at last got up from his chair
and going to the desk demanded to see
the manager.
"What for?" asked the girl in attendance.
"I've got a complaint." he replied.
"Complaint?" she returned haughtily,
"this is a cafe, not a hospital."
Or Kicking Over the Milk
Pa l'ernfrill Is getting pretty tired
of that new hoy friend of Flossie's
who brings her home so late every
night.
"I don't want to be narrow-minded
about this, Flossie," he expostulated
the other day. "I don't care how long
he stays here, but I wish you would
stop him from taking the morning
paper off the porch when he leaves."
Logic
Jimmy?Maw, these new trousers
are too tight.
Mother?Oh, no. They aren't either.
Jlminy?They are, too. They're
tighter than my skin.
Mother?That can't be.
Jimmy?Well, I can sit down In my
skin, and I can't sit down in these
trousers.
OLD DOC FORCEPS
The man in that office can say what
he likes without fear of being contradicted."
-Who's he?"
"A dentist."
Multiplication
"Say, mister," said a little fellow to
a next door neighbor, "are you the
man who gave my brother a dog last
week?"
-Yes."
-Well, ma says to come and take
them all back."
Hazardous
Jones?Could 1 borrow enough on
my policy to buy a car?
Official (life company)?Yon might,
but we'd have to cancel yoni policy
if yon drove that kind of a car.
OTfaist?ii3oMl J
f I
?S? I
SMOOTH STRATEGY |?
"In the course of time you must K
have made many enemies." Jt
"I have made but few enemies," 11answered
Senator Sorghum. "Occa- fr
sionally. of course. I have provoked Inactive
expressions of antagonism
which I was sure I could argue down. ^
But I never deliberately make an '&
enemy except when I feel that I |L.
need him in my business." ? "
Hope Springs Eternal ||
Miss Slimmons?Why, you weighed If
yourself only an hour ago. ?
Miss Ada Pose?I know, but I've ? '
been fasting ever since and I thought S|-.
I might have gone off some. gj|.
Brought a Lot of Grief jjfc?-'
"What invention do you figure la ||
one we best could do without?" &
"The fountain pen?without it my W.name
never would have gotten on a jg;
lot of dotted lines."?Cincinnati Enquirer.
&
TTTt 1 I ? ?
I
\ &A 1
Gir*
Thanks
Blooey?Ten times as many people i
could yodel as do.
Flooey?Isn't that lucky?
WRICLEYS
GUM y\