THE CHEERFUL OTOl
|l h?.vent ?L tftrxt or *.
Friend jn tKe world;
I m simply ts wretcKed |
t.i mortal ct.n t>e
I bet wKen Im ncK uitKl
?t-n ?a.utorrvoLile .
I'll look btxk
tnd pity tnu
poor little me..
1VTC**"
WNU Service.
BABY CHICKS
CHICKS!
VIIIVIIU. , V
Srrnl Honey Order lor IV-niH Shipment.
1. ? ? /V!i??f|r (.mi.
ATLAS CO.. 2651 Chouteau. St. Louis. Ma.
HAMS AND BACON
KAIIMKUS-IIOC. RAISERS
VIUC'.IN I \ ',1 UKI) SMUKI I* IIA.MS?
BACON. S2."><? (io \ due f -r only SI.00. One
of the original recipes f ?r curing -smoking
VIRGINIA S FAMOUS HAMS. Cures
tnsty. delicious meat ? smokes golden
brcwn?safeguards ..g.unst t.anted loss.ige.
Sells quicker .it higher prices. Every
farmer should own one. Recipe once used
?always. Cut this ?uit Sold o%, your honor.
Send certified check- moncv order.
J. < IIIIADY C O.. IHSTItlBCTORS
VirtinU Currd?Smoked llams?II.iron.
SIH OI.K. VA.
REMEDIES
WHY SUFFER WITH ASTHMA
When MINTON-S REMEDY, since 1805 has
given relief to Asthma and Ilronchial sufferers?
Big /J-ONW4V bottl* t?.W |Wf|NIH/. <)ri/?T .V TO
SARCO REMEDY COMPANY, Sidney. O.
Our Existcnre
Existence is not to be measured
by mere duration. An oak lives
in centuries, generation after gen
eration of mortals the meanwhile
passing away; but who would ex
change for the life of a plant,
though protracted for ages, a sin
gle day of the existence of a liv
ing. conscious, thinking man??
Caird.
Consider Your Hearers
Talk often, but never long, in
that case, if you do not please,
at least you aro sure not to tire
your hearers.?Lord Chesterfield.
QUALITY AT A PRICE
I/TUT Th* Outstanding BladaValua o?
}\r N I Flnaat Sw*dl?h Chroma S tnal 1111*
?Mil? ? 7 a Ing la or lO doubkvdga Bladna lUU
C UP PLCS COMPANY ST. LOUIS. MISSOURI
An Ingenious Thief
A thief in Seattle, with a bit of
Ingenuity, got Joe Dizard's wallet,
containing $32, even though Dizard ;
had taken the extra precaution of
sleeping with his trousers on?and
the wallet in his hip pocket. Dizard
woke up the other morning to dis
cover an intruder cutting out his
pocket to get the wallet. Dizard
protested but when the bandit placed
the open blade against his (Dizard's)
throat, there was no further objec
tion.
WNU-7 49?40
Clear Vision
Soundness of intellect is cletti?
ness of vision.
May Warn of Disordered
Kidney Action
Modern life with it* harry and worry:
Irregulsr habit*, improper eating nod
drinking?its risk of exposure and infec
tion?throws heavy strain on the work
of the kidneys. They are apt to become
over-taxed and fail to filter excess acid
and other impurities from the life-giving
blood.
You may suffer nsggtng backache,
headache, dizziness, getting up nights,
leg pains, swelling?feci constantly
tired, nervous, sit worn out. Other signs
of kidney or bladder disorder are some
times burning, scanty or too frequent
urination.
Try Doan'a Pill*. Doon't help the
kidneys to psss off hsrmful excem body
waste. They have had more ths.n half a
century of public approval. Are recom
mended by grateful users everywhere.
A$k your tunghbor!
S iFKTY FIRST
Merry Christmas Also Famous
As Year's No. 1 Danger Season
// v?ii nuni it truly merry C.hrinlma* he
Mire that the frit iJity 11/ the *ra\un ilni'in'l
(iifit 11 intu trnicnly. The \utiuntil Sm/ely
('ittincil penult out tlmt the llnliiluy* ure
the must ilunrerotii /mrl of the year, rr~
pi fir tilth until nulmllVi, hum r nceitlenlt,
hurni unit full*. Keep these "datt'li" in
mind anil * mi'11 lite In tee the new y ear:
DON'T give children dangerous
toys, or toys with sharp points. If
they operate with electricity, be sure
you supervise their use.
DON'T decorate the tree with
lighted candles unless it's absolutely
unavoidable. Carefully wired elec
tric bulbs are much safer.
DON'T place the tree near a stove
or fireplace.
DON'T leave a lighted tree un
guarded at any time; you must be
on the lookout for fires.
DON'T use a rickety, unsafe lad
der in decorating the tree.
DON'T place Christmas candles
near the tree, curtains, paper
wreaths or other decorations.
DON'T overlook the opportunity to
make your tree fire-resistant. Ac
City of New Orleans
Likes Its Fireworks
In Christmas Season
Christmas without firecrackers
just isn't Christmas down in New
Orleans.
"If anybody not got no firewo'k
he mighty po'," say the Creoles gay
ly. The more the fireworks, the
better the Christmas on the lower
side of Canal street.
While other people are shooting
off fireworks on July 4, New Or
lecns is swelter
ing under intense
heat. Outside ac.
tivities are out of
the question.
With noisy July
4 festivities out of
the question, it
was easy to be
gin celebrating Christmas, instead,
with the firing of skyrockets, Roman
candles and firecrackers. Once start
ed, there was no stopping it.
Shooting starts several weeks be
fore Christmas, and every night the
tumult increases. Parents consist
ently caution their children to save
the firecrackers until the twenty
fifth, because they won't get any
more. The boys and girls refuse
to believe this prophecy, but feel
that Providence will not allow them
to go crackerless.
Even the almost
penniless have
firecrackers, but
the more wealthy
win the envy of
others with their
rockets.
Enthusiasm is
not limited to the young boys, but it
is shared by the entire family. Boys
and girls parade up and down the
streets at night, making a racket
with tin trumpets and "instruments"
they picked up on the way. They
ring doorbells, then run away with
joyful laughter. The sky is lighted up
with rockets and firecrackers beat
a constant staccato.
The fun begins again the next
morning, with greater enthusiasm
than ever. Although a boy may
have bankrupted himself the day
before, firecrackers have taken a
great drop in price. He must have
a new supply because they are
cheap.
Now the juveniles grow reckless.
Whole packages of firecrackers eo
off at one full
blow; those who
were firecracker
boys yesterday
are skyrocket
boys today. As
night comes on,
the streets seem
ablaze with ex
plosives and colored rockets.
The second morning after Christ
mas the streets are strewn thick
with burned pieces of fireworks;
but the air is clear. The acrid odor
] of fireworks is again replaced by
' the perfume of Christmas roses.
cording to the United States forestry
service, you can do it this way:
Divide the weight of your tree by
four and buy that many pounds of
ammonium sulphate. Dissolve it in
water, one and a half pints to each
pound of ammonium sulphate. Cut
the end of your tree trunk on a
diagonal, put some solution in a jar
and stick the diagonal butt into the
solution. Add solution as the tree
drink j it up.
DON'T be excessive about Christ
mas; "spirits."
DON'T leave toys exposed where
people can trip on them.
DON'T leave your tree in the
house after it becomes dried out.
DON'T allow steps and sidewalks
to become icy in cold weather.
During Christmas you'll probably I
have many guests; sprinkle salt or
sand in dangerous spots.
DON'T drive carefully ? unless
you want to live and enjoy 1041.
Christmas Week
Offers Chance to
Predict Weather
Weather prognosticators have
found means of forecasting most
of the coming year's weather by
cocking an eye at the sky during
Christmas week. You may not
believe them, but here are a few
of the varied?and conflicting?
beliefs about Christmas weather:
If the sun shines through the
apple tree on Christmas day,
there will be a good crop the
following year.
If ice will bear a man before
Christmas, it will not bear a
mouse afterward.
Thunder and lightning Christ
mas week means much snow in
the winter.
Wet causes more damage than
frost before than after Christmas.
If it snows Christmas night, the
hop crop will be good next year.
At Christmas meadows green,
at Easter covered with frost.
If windy Christmas day, trees
will bring much fruit.
Christmas wet gives empty
granary and barrel.
A green Christmas makes a fat
graveyard.
A warm Christmas, a cold Eas
ter.
A green Christmas, a white
Easter.
Tropical Christmas on
the Islands in Hawaii
IT'S asking a lot to expect people
* born in temperate latitudes to get
steamed up about Christmas in the
tropics. But to children born on
islands in the middle of the Pacific,
Christmas is still?Christmas, writes
Armine von Tempski in Cosmopoli
tan.
On the outlying islands in Hawaii,
Cnristmas is carried in on horse
back, and the jingle of paniolos'
spurs replaces the imagined tinkle
of Santa's merry sleigh bells. On
Christmas eve some inner part of
me waits and listens all night for
the tramp of horses' hoofs, the ring
ing of spurs, rich Hawaiian voices
singing above resonant guitars and
gay ukuleles; for cowboy serenad
ers, riding from ranch to ranch.
Like cadenced meles, which put an
everlasting spell upon you, memo
ries of Christmases spent on the
sixty-thousand-acre cattle ranch my
father managed on the slopes of
Haleakala, the extinct volcano on
the island of Maui, persist with un
dying vividness. A fair number of
persons, representing different
races making up the sum total of
humanity, participated in them.
Americans, Hawaiians, Japanese,
Chinese, Portuguese and their cross
ings assembled under our roof
Christmas eve. Each group brought
a flavor peculiarly its own to add to
the Birthday of all birthdays.
T T MUST be remembered, in your
? remaining prognostications and
your selections that while American
football is the greatest game ever
invented when it comes to a mixture
of spirit and skill, to condition, to
player interest and to crowd excite
ment, it is still an unbalanced game
in the way of just rewards.
The better team doesn't always
win?not by 50 kilometers. I have
talked this season
with over 20 leading
coaches about this
phase of football,
and they all agree.
They admit that you
can outplay another
team badly ? along
the ground and
through the air?and
still lose the ball
game.
I've located over
Grantland Rice 40 teams this season
who have made more yards along
the ground and through the air and
have had the better kicking, and
still have lost. When two good teams
meet, the breaks almost always car
ry the winning story. Which means
the llip of a coin.
This is no indictment of football,
as a game. It is the turn that gives
the underdog his chance against bet
ter fotHball people. It is the factor
that gives its thrills to big crowds,
which have realized there are few
setups.
First downs have become minor
factors. On a recent Saturday 17
teams made more first downs and
greater yardage?in many cases by
decisive margins?and yet lost. It
i3 something like nn open golf cham
pionship with a vast roulette wheel
spinning the answer.
But it is stupid to say always that
"the better team won." It is often
truer to say, "The lucky team won."
And most coaches know this.
Calling the Turn
The forward pass came along in
1906. That was 34 years ago. Four
years later, some 30 years ago, I
happened to be with Hurry-up Yost
of Michigan and Bill Hanna, one of
the star football writers who was a
veteran when Frank Hinkey was a
freshman at Yale.
"This is a new game," Yost told
us. "I've found at Michigan we can
beat the second team by seven
touchdowns on Tuesday, and fail to
score on Wednesday. Passes and
plays click one day. They don't the
next. It's all different."
That was 30 years ago. But Yost
saw what was coming?a better
game for the player, a far better
game for the crowd, but no longer
a game for past performance nor
for accepted form. Yost at that
time saw ahead how many better
football teams were going to be
beaten by underdogs, by minor
teams.
For Example, Minnesota
This season Minnesota stepped
into one of the toughest schedules
of the year. I'd say the toughest.
The Gophers barely scramb!ed by
Washington, and I happen to know
that both Jimmy Phelan and Wash
ington thought they should have won
?with 30 per cent of the breaks.
Ohio State had two easy chances
to beat Minnesota and blew both,
which is nothing to Buckeye credit.
An intricate play called in the rain
for a one-yard touchdown wasted
one of them.
One point after touchdown for
Northwestern would have tied Min
nesota. Two points after touchdown
would have won. The point after
touchdown is the cheap concassion
from the rules committee to the
crowd?not to the good of football.
In the Michigan game the Wolver
ines were all over the Gophers?
something like 15 first downs to 5.
Michigan that day was the better
team on the field. But Minnesota
won on a single play.
Yet, I still say Minnesota has
turned in the best job of the year,
barring nobody, when you look at
the Gopher schedule. Yet, without
the breaks, Minnesota could easily
have lost at least three ball games.
Maybe four.
"Minnesota this fall," a veteran
Big Nine coach told me, "was like
Iowa was last year. Iowa last year
could easily have been beaten by
Indiana, Minnesota, Purdue and No
tre Dame, which Eddie Anderson
knows. Notre Dame was la the
same opot. Notre Dame on the day's
play could easily have lost 10 both
Army and Navy. When yon play
tough schedules, anything can hap
pen.
"You've got to give Minnesota
credit for taking the year's big gam
ble?a gamble that even Minnesota
might easily have lost three ways.
But it has still been the big job of
1940."
Gems of Thought 1
TITHETHER real or moien-l
? y tion be the point we 4im I
at. let us keep fire out of the I
one, and frost out of the other l
?Addison.
Make li/r u orlh M hi/# ftv l
for nomelhiiiK llint i% rmlly norih I
llii ing your li/r to.
We cannot sow to the wind!
today without reaping the whirl- J
I wind tomorrow.
We may win our vineyard. I
, but all the pleasure in it goes \
I when conscience accosts us I
i at the Rate.?F. B. Meyer. I
i How much richer arc youl
t than millions of people who are I
i in want of nothing.?Fielding.
I
An Oilcloth Burro
For a Cuddle Toy
Pattern No. Z9033.
CLEEPY, an oilcloth burro, is as
^ lazy as he can be. He just nods
and sleeps all day, and seems not
to care what the children do with
him. But he has three redeem
ing recommendations: a cute per
sonality, ease of making, and his
ability to part from fingerprints
with the whisk of a damp cloth.
Z9033. 15c. brings outlines and dir?,
tions for this 12-inch burro with the green
yarn mane and red halter. Send order to:
AUNT MARTHA
Bos 166-W Kansas City, Mo.
Enclose 15 cents (or each pattern
desired. Pattern No
Name
Address
ACHING-SORE
STIFF MUSCLES
For PROMPT relief?rub on Mus
terole! Maasage with this wonderful
''counter-irritant" actually brings
fresh warm blood to aching muscles
to help break up painful local con
gestion. Better than a mustard
plaster! Made in 3 strengths.
Trial of Graces
Extraordinary afflictions are not
always the punishment of extraor
dinary sins, but sometimes the
trial of extraordinary graces.?
Henry.
DON'T BE BOSSED
BY YOUR LAXATIVE-RELIEVE
CONSTIPATION THIS MODERN WAY
? When you feel gassy, headachy, logy
due to clogged-up bowels, do as million*
do?take Feen-A-Mint at bedtime. Next
morning ? thorough, comfortable relief,
helping you start the day full of your
normal energy and pep, feeling like a
million! Feen-A-Mint doesn't disturb
your night's rest or interfere with work the
next day. TYy Feen-A-Mint, the chewing
gum laxative, yourself. It tastes good, it's
handy and economical... a family supply
FEEN-fl-MINT lo?
Train the Sapling
Train up a child in the way he
should go; and when he is old,
he will not depart from it.?Old
Testament.
? Like a beacon light on
the height?the advertise
ment* in newspapers direct
you to newer, better and
easier ways of providing
the things needed or
desired. It shines, tHiJ
beacon of newspaper
advertising?and it will be
to your advantage to fol
low it whenever y?u
make a purchase.
BEACONS of
?SAFETY?