Dear Gabbv
Tea for two, but it ain't sweetened too
Me and the oT lady went up
north for our 4th of July vacation.
I couldn't help but notice the
tether north we went, the colder it
got. And, the cold evidently freezes
yankees' taste bods so that they
don't have no taste at all.
If you ask me, that's why the
North fought so to keep the South
from leaving the Union - they
hated to lose that good ol' southern
cooking.
Up around Connecticut me and
the ol' lady wheeled into one of
those McDonalds for some
sweetened iced lea.
But, when 1 tried to place the
order, there was this foreign fella
on the other side of the counter.
"I want some sweetened iced
tea," I told him.
Now, to start with, he had one
strike against him. You see, I ain't
got nothin' against no foreigners as
long as they stay in their place -
which happens to be the country
they come from. This fella was out
of place.
He really struck out when he
plopped down on the counter in
front of me one of those itsy-bitsy
styrofoam cups full of hot water
with a lid on it, and a lonesome
looking lea bag on top of the lid.
"What in tarnation is this!" I
wailed.
He said some such gibberish,
but I didn't catch on 'cause it
weren't said in English. That's
another thing - these people come
over here 'cause they "re fed up with
their country. So, why don't they
leave their country's ways and talk
in their country? America's an
English speaking country. You
heard that saying, when in Rome
do as the Romans? Well, when in
America speak as the Americans.
After this foreign fella realized I
didn't understand his gibberish, he
pointed to the cash register that had
"$1.05" plastered across the top of
it.
"I ain't paying no dollar and a
nickel for no puny cup of hot water
and a tea bag," I said in a might too
loud a voice.
"Hush!" The ol' lady, she told
me, poking me in the ribs with her
puny elbow.
But I didn't
"I ordered a cup of sweetened
iced tea," 1 told her, 'though you'd a
thought I was E.F. Hutton or
l
something the way ever "body had
stopped what they was doing to
listen to me.
By this time I was as hot as that
cup of so-said-to-be "sweetened
iced lea" he was allying to push off
on inc.
"Take the tea," the of lady, she
told me, turning the prettiest shade
of red you ever saw. 'And
apologize to the nice young man
for being rude to him."
Well, I'm the boss of my family
- when the of lady, she leu me be.
But don't tell the ol' lady 1 said so. I
plopped down a dollar and a nickel
anyhow.
"I ain't wasting no good toology
on him," I told her as I picked up
my puny cup of boiling not water
with the tea bag on top that was
s'posed to be 'sweetened iced tea.'
The o)'lady looked fit to be tied,
that is if I could a Icetched up to her
as she stormed out the building.
As I walked by the trash can I
chunked the cup of boiling hot
water in. But I kept the teabag.
You see, 1 was gonna get the ol'
lady to go-back in and get me a free
cup of iced water. Then I was
gonna use the tea bag to make me
my own tea, throwing in the couple '
of packs of "Sweet and Low" that
had stuck to my hands on the way
out.
But the ol' lady, she weren't up
to it, so to speak. So I 'pologized to
her, 'cause she always did
appreciate a good *potogy.
After 1 give her the foreign
fella's "pology. it seemed to unruffte
her feathers a bit So we headed on
down the road toward Maine.
"I didn't want none of their
cussYired tea no how," I told the ol'
lady. But I was lying through my
teeth. When 1 First stopped I just
wanted some. But you know how it
is when you know you can't have
something. By that time 1 would a'
traded in my mama for a nice, cool
glass of sweetened iced tea.
I'll talk to y'all some more some
time. Meanwhile, y'all be good
'cause the Lord, He don't like ugly.
Locklear and Jones wed July 6
Connie Locklear and Terry Van Jones, both of
Pembroke were wed July 6 al 5 p.m. at the home of the
bride's parents in I Vm broke. The Reverend Coolidge M.
Cummings officiated.
The bride is the daughter of Bill R and Jessie Lois
Loddear of Pembroke. She graduated from Prospect High
School in 1979, from Pembroke State University in 1983,
and from N.C. Central University in 1989. She is currently
a third year medical student at East Carolina School of
Medicine.
The groom is the son of Howard and Alene Jones of
Pembroke. He graduated from Pembroke Senior High
School in 1978 and is employed by Southern Industrial
Constructors in Eastover, S.C.
The bride was escorted by her mother and father. Maid
of honor was Deborah Kay Licklear of Maxton.
The Best Man was Howard Jones, father ?>f the groom.
Ushers were Charles Thomas Inwry and Dexter Wallace
Jones, both of Pembroke.
Musicians for the wedding were Deborah Kay lncklear
& Sandra Kay L>cklear; IVnisc Bullard. Beverly Brewer,
Alicia Cummings, and Casandra Jones; Michael
Cummings; and Mrs. Vank-c Cummings.
A reception was held at the home of the bride's
parents. Bill R K Jessie I.4s lncklear and was given by
them. >+????? ?ft*;'a'.-^-7
Tlie couple will imwde in ptvooviiie, N.C. ijjfc
.l//,> ///./. 1 l;IU(V/>
S*f fm mod it ih
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