Newspapers / Greensboro Daily News (Greensboro, … / June 3, 1910, edition 1 / Page 8
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AIM c k J BROl'GHTON BOGGS, Incorporated (the " Inrortxiratrd" is simply a joke, perpetrated by a friend of Mr Boggs, and referring to the "cor poration" which that gentleman arneel around with him), was waiting in the ante room of Mr. Hallow-ell. head of the large Hallowell Advertising Agency The Hall.mell Agency employee! Mr. Beiggx, and Mr. Bogafs shed stilendor and profit on the llallowell Agenc y His large siie, in itself, enabled him lo display a larger amount of ila.ling halierda-shery than was possible in tin- i ase of the ordinary advertising solieitor; and in the days when dazzling hilierelashery played as large a part in the advertising business as it now does in ward pohti. s, this was a dr-oded advantage. But even t,-n vears ago, those days were pass ing Mr Bog,'s present e in Mr 1 lalloweU's ante room was e asioned by ilu- fact I hat the resplendent ' live wire's" engaging perse. nal lty wis not bnnging in as inn h business as formerly Mr Boggs w.is the last one to realize the- hanging Mate ol arlairs In pro rtion as bis cigars, bine heein.-i and rebate ill the .ik isi .irdid tools of a by fxnt age of advertising -cea.seei to be etfte ai ioui, he put on the oniniexhiy tommonly known as "front " Naturally enough, he debited his decreasing business to tlie times " "Mr llallowell will see Mr Boggs," an nuinre! " Buttons," suddenly bobbing into ;;ew Mr. liotrgx end-red l"He Presence, as ,tl wavs, with a s i.'t oi digmtied humility Mi HaJli W' li (.i-t a gl.irne. ominously short, it him, an 1 no.l le 1 toward a hair Mr Boggs sa:U into it, nurs.iig his a rule fedora bat "I have seat for vou. Mr Boggs. ' he an nounced s!ur)ly, to tell vou that your results for th'. pas! in with or so -iu fact, 1 may sav, for the lal three months have been ei trerae!.' unsatisfactory, and I am forred to consider a reduction in your salary. As you prohibly know, fifty dollars a week is a goexl d-al more than we pay our other solici tors. I've got an alternative to offer you -an alternative to cutting your salary to forty per. Like to hear i t r Mr. Bjggs admitted that he would "It's like this: you may know that there's several new advertising atpm ies started up lately. Now ideas, you know, sensational methods, and all that sort of rot There's one in particular, run by that young I j-on.crd fallow, that 1 fired about a year ago. Well, mj id?a is just this: I want to investigate liis methods. Now suppose I got you to in veatigatc, eh ? You could hire to him, vou understand; and just vt a good, systematic idea of his methods. ll"'s working out a lot of statistical tables and things, from what I see in his advertisements ." " It's easy enough for me to get it," re marked Mr. Boggs, as if to himself "I supise vou're thinking about what there n in it," interrupted the manam r ' WeM, I 11 give vou a ' outrac t for a year longer nt vour pn-M-nt salary, d yon get any thing worth wiulc. and after you're through W'th I-onard. there arc two or three other ag'-n ies vou cart investigate in the s.iine way It"1! be easy work. What do you say?" Mr. Boggi, judging, from the manager's voice, that anv attempt to increase the offer would be futile, consented. Me left the olTi. e with the satis) i. timi of having maiie a go-xl bargain lighting his pudgv features. Never thelrss. the more he thought of tiie di-t.nl of his assignment, the more disgusted he became with the position in whie h it would put him As he left the olbie building and rolled ponderously up Broadway, he let his mind dwell upon the imssih!e plea sure of punching his employer in the solar plexus. Mr Boggs, in spite of his pro fessed friendship with I-conard, was for ed to m ate the Agency through the medium of a tele phone dirr( tory The number proved to lie that of a tobacco store: ' Rue hers Havana To hacro Emporium " Mr Boegs entered Then- was a little other, near the front ot the store, n which a bald. Iienrvolt-nl i.rnii.cei was dictating to a very pntw voung ladv stei.eM;raphtt 1 he German arose ami came out into the store " How do you do, sir,'' he said " And what may I do for you this norning Mr. H,':gs looked the Ger nn snd liked him There wss lo'i. nc .'t tf eternal American aur. v up a!out this store-keeper. tie sn a man after Mr. Boggs 'sown leisutvlv iie art " Well. Hi-t Teuton," he returnee). " I was lookin' ' ir an ad agency, but I reckon Cen tral's gone a' t give me the wrong number. So I'll just take a couple o' cigars for dis turbin' you make 'em ten-centers, and have one yoiirseli." "You ofer-power me wit' vrrur Vindnens, Mr. .American I" declared the German, going ' la tt that you have Mr Boggs roared with delight "Not on your life, Dutrby!" be replied. " I'm settin' 'em up without any strings attached' By the way," he added, "you don't know anything of an ad agency around here-the Ionard Advertising Agency? Kun by a good lookin' young chap kinder stuck up, tietween you and " "Oh, dat!" interrupted the German. "Sure! He bangs him out in here desk room bac k there " He pointed to a roll top desk under the skylight in the rear of the store "He is out now; but he comes back in trn minutes, at 1 1 o'clock." Mr. Boggs lixiked surprised, and somewhat chagrined, at the Ieonard Agency's accom modations. " Putty punko, I should say," he re marked " Not a very fine place, eh ?" returned the German. " Well, he is going to move soon, dat that young man He is what you call a swift pro po sit i hun. He stays now only because" lie nodded mysteriously toward the office "Ha! Kittle romance, eh t" suggested Mr. Boggs, thinking of the pretty stenographer. "A big large one," replied the German, with a paternal grin. "I'gh! The way they do go on, when they thinks olt I'm le Bui her ain't looking! Vou was you are a friend of Mr Leonard's.'" he asked, sud clt-iilv cati hing himself up " Sure's your I uP h "' declared Mr. Boggs, looking, and leding. slightly pained at having ins fric-ndll'ie.v questioned. 'Why, me and limmy worked together when he wasn't knee high to a grassnopiier'" He continued to enlarge uoii his friendli ness with the young manager, the German nodding frequent appreciation. Leonard came in while they were talking. He shook hands with Mr. Boggs rather coldly, considering the friendship which that gentleman had been professing, and escorted him back to the Agency's desk. As Mr. Boggs sank into a neighlxinng chair, his coun lenance and pasture eiprc-scd extreme de jection. He had carefully thought out the part he should play, and he played it well. He explained thai he was getting old, that he hid been discharged by llallowell, and that the other agencies were looking (or younger men, and ended by offering to work on commission limmy was placed in the uncomfortable Hsition, common enough with every sure essful businessman of having either to " turn down" an unlucky associate of other days or lo em ploy an inefficient assistant. It was his iirst exiericncc of the kind, and he did what al most any young business man would have done under similar circumstances He ac cepted the alternative of hiring an inefficient assistant. l )n the following morning Jimmy carefully explained to liim the Agency's method of approach. The leonard Agency's ladies sir i' k him as ralht r absuid; young lonard's insistence on treating advertising as a purely business proposition was especially disgust ing to the seasoned "live "inc." In com mon with most other "live wires" of'that eriod, he looked upon ad. getting as a sort of legitimate graft, much, in fact, as the ward Hilitiuan looks upon the emoluments of oflic e. He decided, however, that it would Ik- best to adopt his new employer's methods for the pre;nt. Mr HiOowrf The rrsilts somewhat tsurprised him Mr Boggs was known among advenising managers as a low-going, c-nn'ervative solici tor: a bit too conservative and slow-going, in fact. The combination of his conserva tism with the Leonard Agency's radicalism, of his experien e with the Agenrv's vouth, did much to give advertisers confidence in the venture "Never too old to learn." be told the 6m behind his counter, something to iellr"' J$M 1, S. li' v.. ICW man he approached. "IS sees the error of my ways. This young Ionard fellow is a comer. He's got all the old ideas tied to the post. You noticed I didn't out with any two fer cigar when I came in. No, sir; it's the plain business proposition from now on. Give us a trial, and see " Within three days, lie had accomplished the apparently impossible feat of believing this i i5tiE35l'' - itki -.'Wf sWv-rV Ji. ,l'l'fHi- "No need 10 f f talk. Its succ ess was the strongest argument for the truth of it. He began to make money. Considering the above facLs, he was par donably irritated at the receipt of a curt note from Mr. llallowell The note, which came in an envelope blank of return address, be gan with a business-like " Dear Sir." It pro ceeded as follows: 1 believe that you have had all the- requisite time to complete tlie matter for which I engaged you. You mil probably understand that it i not mv pur pose to pa? you a. salary to woe k inelr finitely for an other ayene y. Kintily inform me wtien yoo etpenct to come to tlri office with a fell reeport. "Durn his nerve!" remarked Mr. Boggs, alter carefully reading this communication. He scratched his head thoughtfully, and read it again. The second reading produced even stronger evidences of disapprobation. "Dam 'im!" he muttered. "Gettin' gay like that, after all I've done for him I'd like " he hesitateel, seeking a suitable pun ishment. " I'd like lo nive him a good punch in his old fat solar plexus 1 Yes, sir, that's what 'ud do me good'" But, after reflecting upon the consequences of such an action, and esjiecially upon the discontinuance of the fifty dollars a week, he concluded to comxse a soft answer. He wrote Mr. Hallowcll, in such convincing terms as he could muster, that he had not vet had an opportunity to complete his in vestigations. For good measure, he added that Jimmy's maps, statistics and plans were so numerous and complicated that consider able time was necessary to copy them. He conc luded with a eulogy of the business suc cess of the Leonard Agencv, and the imjxjr tance of the matter he would bring to the llallowell office when his work was com plete. He was inspired, by a review of the importance of his work, to add a postscript deploring the fact that he had been put to considerable expense in securing this valuable information. Mr. Hallowell's reply was more satisfactory than he had dared to hope. With a gasp of surprise, he unfolded a check for $50 to cover past and subsequent un usual expenses. The note began, " Dear Mr. Boggs," and concluded with an ad monition for him to take his time and be thorough. This unexpected aaswer was unfortunate in that it inspired Mr. Boggs to impossible, imaginary expenses. Mr. Hallowell grudg ingly "shook down" another $35 check. Mr. Boggs deplored the smallness of the contri bution, and suggested that he would have to skimp his investigations which were most important unless more was forthcoming immediately. Mr. Hallowell replied with a peremptory order for Mr. Boggs to visit the Hallowell offices, at his earliest convenience, bringing with htm such data as he had al ready collected. In view of the fact that Mr. Boggs had collected no data, this order was disconerert ing, not to say impolite. " I'd like to punch that suspicious old gaalio," remarked Mr. Boggs, after reading this last commrniecation. " It 'ud certainly give me great joy to land a good one in his old suspicious solar! Tryin' to get me to do his dirty work, betrayin my best friends, and all that, and him unwillin' to contribute a few cents to the necessary expenses " There was another contingency, he re flected; he might notify Mr. Hallowell thrt he had experienced change of heart, and resign forthwith. But this would involve trouble in connection with the $75 already received. To io him justice, he k ally wished to resign. He was not, at bottom, the sort of man that melodramatic villains are made of. Conditions, which he had been too weak and near-sighted to resist, had made him a grafter, a liar, a braggart, a thief, an irresponsible roue4 In bis business, and with his oppor tunities, it was as bard for him to be anything 1"t. rPWESaT "t. iwi'iri'ti . 1 -- ii 1 mi li nm rfSS t&tltt, Dutchy " else as it is for the modern politician to be anything better. A very ancient and widely applicable saying applied to him: his morals weren't anything to sjieak of, but he had a good heart. He decided, at length, to make a bluff of sending Mr. Hallowell some data, enclosing his resignation. Then he would make a clean breast of the whole matter to young I.eonard, if Mr. Hallowell continued obstrep erous, and throw himself upon the young man's mercy. Jimmy had a good deal of mercy, he reflected, anil he thought tha( h coulci throw himself in such an artistic man ner that he would have no difficulty in falling upon it. At the worst, there was the job in ( Imaha. He set about preparing some data for Mr. Hallowell's consumption. It was, in all respects, remarkable data. Probably no data closely resembling that data has ever been prepared outside o: an insane asylum. Nevertheless, that data looked good to Mr. Bogg3. Especially the maps. He traced these from an atlas, as he had a recollec tion of seeing Jimmy do, and colored certain parts of them with colored pencils. Then he stuck in figures which represented his idea of the density of population in the colored portions, and other symlxils to show whether the people were devoted to mining, agriculture, manufacturing, or what not. He was not much accustomed to making neat figures, nor to tracing maps. But he made up for the deficiencies by a liberal use of the colored tencis. With many another artist, his drawing wasn't much, but his color scheme was a wonder of impressionism. As he surveyed his finished productions, Mr. Boggs was moved, by his admiration of them, to change a part of his program. He derided to omit sending his resignation with them ; they would surely impress Mr. Hallo well so favorably that the resignation, even if sent, would not be accepted. Therefore he sent a polite little note instead, in which he gently suggested a small contribution to enable him to continue his research in art and economics. Mr. Boggs was informed of Mr. Hallo well's receipt of his efforts shortly after the noon hour the next day. The information came over the telephone. Jimmy had gone out to luncheon. Mr. Bucher and Miss Hildreth were in the front office. " Yes, this is Mr. Boggs," said the ' live wire," speaking into the transmitter. " Oh Mr. Hallowell! Eh? Well, I'm down right sorry; you see " He listened for a few seconds, his fare assuming the purplish tinge of a fat gentle man who is having hard things said to him. "No, I ain't comln' now nor any other time!" he bellow, unconscious that the loudnirss of his talk and the closeness of his lips to the mouth-piece prevented the trans mission of a word. "You heard me all right!" he shouted, a setcond later. " I won't take such langwidge offen you, nor any other man!" He raised his voice to a thunderous climax. " You wouldn't have the nerve to say them things to my face, so you wouldn't!" The next words from the recrfver seemed to surprise him. Mr. Hallowell, w-ho had heard not a word of his wrathy denunciation, had quietly asked him whether Leonard was in. "Why, no, he ain't," he remarked, in a normal tone. " Why, he aint been out long; in about an hour, I reckon. He usually geti back around one o'clock." He quickly recovered from the surprise which the question had caused him, and squared his face belliger ently toward the receiver. "As 1 as saying, Mr. Hallowell, l' don't stand for no such" He stopped abruptly and hung up the receiver. The disgusted expression of a man who has been cut off in the middle of a remark over spread his face. After a second of infuriated inaction, be jerked the receiver from its place, and called up the Hallowell office. He was informed that Mr. Hallowell bad gone out. "What's the matter, eh, Boggselein?" called the German. " You haf a beller like a very peevish bull." " Dutchy," replied the "live wire," striding toward the front of the store, " gif me a seegar. I need something to quiet my nerfes." "Sure, Mike," replied the German, going over and opening one of the show -cases. " I am astonished to discofer that you possess them." " Yep, I have em all right, Dutchy," he confided, absent-mindedly picking up the dime which Mr. Bucher had refused. "I reckon I don't get credit for half the things I do have." He sighed deeply, reflecting that he would probably need all the sympathy he could acquire to combat the storm he had aroused. " Dutchy," be continued, " I've been done dirt by a man that's supposed to be my friend. Been done the dirtiest kind of dirt!" "Too bad 1 " commented the German. "But ven a friend's done you dirt, he iss no longer your friend see ? And so, why worry ofer such things?" But the thought of such things aroused Mr. Boggs's anger anew. " If it wasn't for the damages, and notoriety and all that, Dutchy," he confided to the German, lowering bis voice that Kia Hil dreth might not hear, " I'd go to his office and hax-e it out with him! Dammim!" He crushed the end of his cigar between his teeth, and stuck out his big jaw. " I wish I could soak him just once just one good, soul satisfyin' soak in his old suspicious solar plexus!" "That's a very un-Christian wish, Boggse lein," said the German seriously. "Better forget it." Miss Hildreth interrupted them by coming out with her hat on, evidently bound lunch ward. As she opened the outer door, a man, built much after the physical plan of Mr. Boggs, pushed by her. He came straight in, looking nei ' r to right nor to left. He was evidently irril. ' -d and in a hurry. As he looked into this man's face, Mr. Boggs's countenance underwent a quick trans formation. He let his cigar fail unnoticed to the floor, and stared at him. "Oh, Boggs," said the stranger, coming quickly for vard; "it's you, is it? Can you give me a few minutes of your valuable time ?" Mr. Boggs's emotions were in too great a turmoil to permit of his making a reply. He turned, without a word, and led the way back to the Leonard Agency's desk-room. Cus tomary deference to his employer struggled with a desire to turn and do him bodily injury. " And now," said Mr. Hallowell, as soon as Jimmy shook hinds Ihey were seated, "I want to know what in blankety blankety blank blank you meant by sending me such a blankety blank blanked bunch of drivel as I received this morn ing? What do vou take me for? Whv why" He stopped, for want of words to express himself. This uncontrolled outburst was unfortu nate for Mr. Hallowell. Mr. Boggs had never seen the manager lose control of himself be fore. That the great Mr. Hallowell could be such a loose-speeched person astonished and pleased him. It also helped him to keep cool; and, keeping cool, he felt that ha was, by that much at least, superior to bis em ployer. "Hauowen, he said, with a notSceabb absence of the "Mr."; "Hallowell, when person so far forgets himself as to address me like that, I say to him: 'Go to the deviX' Go to the devil, Hallowell. In other words, skiddoo. Beat it. Get out of my office I " "Why, you blankety blank!" roared th manager, springing to his feet Mr. Boggs, also, arose. Mr. Hallowell, finding speech " inadequate to express his feelings began Id wave his arms and move his feet. Possibly he meant no physical harm to Mr. Boggs by waving his arms; possibly the fact that one ojf them lightly struci Mr. Boggs on the shoul der was purely an accident. Mr. Boggs, . however, was in no condition to weigh the facts in the matter calmly. He promptly put his own arms into commission; and in an amazingly short space of time, Mr. Boggs bad got his wish. When Mr. Bucher, alarmed by the fracas, reached the scene, Mr. Hallowell was leaning over the back of a revolving chair, in a most undignified position, gasping far breath. Mr. Boggs was noticeable for great calmness and a very large display of lower jaw. " No need to get excited, Dutchy," be said. "The durnetd old hypocrite insulted me, and I soaked him one." He looked at the man ager's gasping figure Vcith comparatively scientific interest. "And from his subse quent actions," he continued, " I should say that thM there soak landed eggs-acdy in the proper spot. In the solar plexus, to be exact, . Dutchy. And he ain't got any ground for -' legal action, because be hit me first Be came here to insult me, Dutchy," concluded Mr. Boggs, with a show of righteous indig nation, "me, that was doing more for him than you nor anybody else but us two can realize; and so I licked him. Ain't be done up brown, though? Notiece the way he " pants." - ' Mr. Hallowell slowly freed bhrMerf from"" the back of the chair and looked around for his hat His face was distorted by the pecuL- . iarly distressing pain incidental to a blow upon the spot which Mr. Boggs bad men tioned. Mr. Bucher, alarmed, pitying, dis tressed, picked up the unfortunate manager's hat and handed it to him. Mr. Hallowell stumbled toward the door, gaining confidence , and erectness as be walked. He disappeared without once looking back. " Come out to luncheon on me, Dutchr, said Mr. Boggs, sticking bis bands in bis pockets and balancing on his heels. "Gee, but I feel fine!" Four blocks from the office, they met Miss Hildreth, returning to work. Mr. Boggs stopped ber, baring his head and bowing like a dancing master. " - ' 0 1 just wanted to say, Miss Hildreth," he announced, "that 111 be simply tickled to death to accept your invitation. My pre vious hesitation was caused solely by the fear that I had forgot some of the card games which are customary at such functions as the one you so kindly mentioned. I find that I remember 'em perfectly. It will be the greatest pleasure in the world for me to come . to your party. Only the fear that I had dis recollectcd some of those games 2&aede me rhf coldly hesitate about accepting your invitation at first." He. bowed again, while Miss Hildreth gracio'- expressed her thanks. And then, with that last lie on his lips and a vast satis faction in his heart, he seized the staid German's arm and executed a double shuffle. "It's great to be honest, Dutchy!" he de clared. "I ain't felt so fine for a month o' Sundays! f ay we hit up some swell joint, where Jft ran get eats that is? Does that Wurzbirttjer suit you that they scr-e over in the Hoffman House?"
Greensboro Daily News (Greensboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
June 3, 1910, edition 1
8
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