Newspapers / The Carolina Times (Durham, … / April 24, 1976, edition 1 / Page 17
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SAT., APRI L 24, ! 976 THE CAROLINA TIMES-17 X ,r ToGji UlW X ofxCV: ..qCVAL I A. sfr T BUDDYRUFF rAt I WMO PitPN f " THAT NE IP arl. , I I CHUCKLE COLUMN Get Out In a poll recently released, 15 per cent of the Indians questioned thought that the United States was right in finally getting out of Vietnam. Another 90 per cent thought they should also get out of America. Dead Dog Hie old fisherman's dog died. The fisherman asked a local minister for a funeral. "Dogs don't have souls," said the minister. "I know," replied the fisherman, "but I want my dog to have a funeral and I will pay $1,000 to the minister that per forms the service." "Why didn't you tell me Rover was a Bap tist," countered the clergyman. Reliable Assistants One political candidate hired two research assistants recently. One was assigned the task of digging up the facts while the other was instructed to bury them. Come Back The tramp came to the door of a farmer's house and said, "Could you give me something to eat?" "If you don't mind eating yesterday's soup," said the farmer's wife-. "Why, no," answered the tramp. "Good. Come back tomorrow." Better Be Blood An old Irishman, carrying a bottle of his favorite whiskey in his hip pocket, slipped and fell. As he got up, he felt something wet trickling down his leg. "I sure hope it's blood," the Irishman murmered. Ait FEW FOOLS ARE BORN MOST ARE SELF - MADE. THIS WEEK'S LETTER: I am 16, quit school, 3 months preg nant and both my parents were killed two years ago. The father of my unborn child is 45 years bid, married, with six lovely children of his own. I am living with my grandparents at the present time. I don't know where to go, who to go to or what to do. My mind is in a turmoil all the time. If I don't get some help soon I'm afraid I'll do something I'll regret in the future. Desper ate. OUR REPLY: Dear Des perate: Slow down. There are many people who are willing to help you with your predicament. Take responsibility for the po sition you've gotten yourself in to, and you can work things out. Share the situation with the father. Communicate what's go ing on with your minister, or crisis center official. Don't be ashamed, be honest. Get clear on how you want to handle the situation. Make certain whoever is handling the issue with you knows where you're coming from. Accept the fact that you've created a mess and you'll be better-equipped to clean it up. (Bacauaa ol tha volume at mail, mounts for paraonal ropllaa cannot bo accomo (totad. Editorial parol aalacta tor araakly uaa, tartar which boat rapraaanta quaationa andor commants from raadara. FOR AND ABOUT TEENAGERS, BOX 39, FRANKFORT, KV. 4001.) frtV i j llb PRESIDENT OF THE U.S. JAMBS KNOX POLK WHOSE FAMILY NAME WAS ORIGINALLY POLLOK, WAS BORN IN A CABIN IN NORTH CAROLINA. NO. PRESIDENT SINCE WASHINGTON HAS HAD A BETTER RECORD FOR A SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF HIS PROGRAMS. DURING HIS TERM, THE NATION ENJOYED ITS GREATEST TERRITORIAL GROWTH. HE WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT NOT TO SEEK RE ELECTION. WHEN HE WAS A CONGRESSMAN, HE WAS ABSENT ONLY ONCE IN 14 YEARS HE WAS THE ONLY SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE TO BECOME PRESIDENT. HIS WIFE BANNED DANCING AND CARD PLAYING IN THE EXECUTIVE MANSION. MERCURY IS THE CLOSEST PLANET TO THE SUN- IT TRAVELS 30 MILES A SECOND A AS IT GOES AROUND THE SUN EVERY 8fi EARTH DAYS. A SOQUAers OF FRESH MILK EQUALS 6'i QUARTS OF DRIED MILK. JMaT Mb. SHEET Of PAPER, WM&UOUSSS OF SIZE - W CANT BE FOLDED INTO MORE THAN 6 EVER-DCRASiM6 EQUAL PARTS. ACROSS I Ali - S Compassion 10 Asseverate II Business deal 12 High-strung 13 Overdec orative 14 Telepathic gift (abbr.) 15 Dupe 16 David's chief officer 17 Eminence 19 Clear after expenses 20 Entrance 21 . . do as " (2 wds.) 22 Solicitude 23 Norse night 24 Cut of meat 25 Copper 26 The Garter or Tabard 27 Secures; restricts 30 Written letter 31 Thor's step son 32 Before 33 Indeed! (2 wds.) 35 Imperfection 36 Jewish song (2 wds.) 37 Alleviate 38 Venture again 39 Pitcher DOWN 1 Actor, Alan 2 Seaman's call 3 Live from hand to mouth (4 wds.) 4 Garfunkel 5 German city 6 Aquatic eagle 7 Illicit (3 wds.) 8 Military failure 9 Compact 11 Terry or Victor TODAY' S ANSWER la JAM lJ3to C3lN3priN I Qfl SlQNtllavgn A y s inairy scij 15 Dainty 18 Mountain laker 21 Subatomic particles 22 TV set style 23 "Hud" Oscar winner 24 German ballads 25 Stringed instruments 27 French composer (1632-1687) 28 Expunge 29 Underground system 34 Ending for mountain 35 Lawyer's charge T s mis 111 15 a te III ll 2b IP" 28 L ML. UJ- 55 WS
The Carolina Times (Durham, N.C.)
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April 24, 1976, edition 1
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