Newspapers / The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, … / Aug. 21, 1921, edition 1 / Page 13
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.''ij'i- SECTION TWO PAGES 1 TO 14 amusement , society, and ' Sport section . CHARLOTTE,, N. C, SUNqAY MORNING, AUGUST 21, 1921, 3 v ri" , rrt it . SSH-H ."Of course. Mawruss, njr Judg ment in uch thing ain't worth a nickel en way or tho other, un derstand," Abo Potash declared, few mornings after ho papers woro filled with tho story of lord North cliffs adventures in Washington, "but in my opinion, understand, and I admit that nobody giroa a panta button what my opinion Is, understand mo, oven if Lord North cliff V aald what thia hora Lord George aald ho said, Mawruss, thoy shouldn't havo put no atop order on the Upper." .-?V;: ; "What eupper?" Morrta Porlmut ter asked. 'The supper which this hero Eng lish ambassador was going to give In honor of Lord Northeliff and then called off at the last moment on account of a death in tho family when he would have been stumped to produce so much as a sick second cousin, y'understand." Abe Potash replied, "but 1 suppose Lord North cliff didn't deserve no better, con sidering what Lord George said he said about him." "Why. what did Lord George eay he said?" Morris Inquired. ' "There you've got me." Abo ad 'mttted. "because I didn't take It so particular to read what it was Lord George said he said." . .Well, what was It that . Lord Northeliff said which Lord George said -fte aatd T" Morris asked. That 1 don't know neither." Abe ;'said." 'Then why do you think the Eng lish ambassador shouldn't ought to have put a stop order on the sup per?" Morris inquired further. "Well, this here Lord Northeliff and Lord George had been a couple of lords together In the old country for years already, and so long as this here Lord Northeliff had been Invited to the supper, and had his license to practice aa a lord and ev erything," Abe began when Morris interrupted him. - "Say, listen here, Abe," Morris said: "Do you think a lord has got to have a license to practice as a lord the same like a doctor or a lawyer?" "ay, for my part, a lord could have to have a 1P21-1P22 license to go around unmussied aa a lord; the same tike a toy Pomeranian or a Boston bull terrier, yunderstand." Abe said, "because whai, I don't know about lords ain't a marker to what a whole lot of American news paper readers don't - know , about them, and quite a number of Ca nadian newspaper readers also, which you couldn't blamo mo ex actly if I skipped alt but the head lines about this here Lord North cliff getting done out of a eupper onaccount of what he said about Lord George. In fact, Mawruss, for all the interest I take In lords, y'un derstand, any lord -I don't care which one could go to bed ' with out hie supper for the rest of his life, and I would oser schenck him . to so much as -crackers and milk even. I am an American sKson, Mawruss, and I don't take no stock In lords snd all that kind of schmooes." - "But this here Lord Northeliff haa been running a chain of news papers for years in the old coun try," Morris said. "I seen his pic- f f 233 South Tryon :' 7 V Charlotte, N. a i MM Discuss Lci ds, Cominons and , ..., - . ... . . - - - ..... .. . . . . , ..- U - - - 1 . " ture in the paper and he looks al "Couldn't a lord be also a decent respeouble feller?" Morris demand ed. ready like a decent respectable fel ler." "Then what did he become a lord for?" Abe asked. rWhy not?" Abe said. "But If he Is running a chain of newspspers, Mawruss. you would think it would keep him so busy that he couldn't bother his head with such foolish ness as being a lord. Which we are running only one cloak and euit business and would wo have the time to be Jords?" , "For an American attson which ain't got no nee for lords, Abe," Morris commented, "It's funny t to me how you seemingly don't know, the first thing about lords." "Maybe I don't Abe admitted, "but I've got a pretty good idea that after a man becomes a lord, he couldn't just go around wearing a lord's button In the lapel of his coat and let if go at that He's got a lot of things to do, like laying cornerstone!, attending openings of exhibitions, polo games and orphan asylums, and being one of a num ber of lords present at dog shows and horse races." - In - ,,. ....... .. . . 15 Two Reel Western Dramas 15 First and second series of shortlengh western of a' new and better kind; the strength of story and costly production that is found In the last features. "So this is your idea of what a lord does In, the old country, is it?" Morris commented satirically, "Say, anybody who ain't scared off from looking over brown Illus trated Sunday supplements because of the way the printing Ink smells snd rub off on your clothes. Maw runs, has, got a pretty good idea from the. pictures in them what a lord has got to do In 'the old coun try," Abe retorted. "s I underr stand it by them pictures, Mawruss, a lord Is a sort of tenth assistant deputy king, and when it cornea to opening a dog show or . a basaar, yunderstand, " it the king couldn't be there, then they send tho prince of Wales, and , If he's alt- dated up then they ring In the duke of York, and If he couldnt attend, under stand, then there's nothing to do but to All in with a lord." "And this Is all -you' know from lords, -Abe?" Morris Inquired again. "What else Is there to know?" Abe said. "Didn't you never hear tell of the house of lord even?" Morris con tinued. "It, seems to me I did," Abe re plied. "If the United States senate had senators which was. Gott soli huten elected for life, Mawruss, then that would be the equivalence Of tho house of lords, ain't It?" "Excepting- that In the house of lords, a lord Is a' sort of senator which Is not only a life ' senator, y'nnderstand, but his . eldest son ' also a life senator, and his eldest ion also, and so on. until on of the eldest sons couldn't find time enough between, drinks to get married, Abe, and the family diee out." T "But do you mean to say, Maw russ, that if this was England, not only would Senator LaFollette be a senator for life, hut his eldest son would also be a senator and so on down the line for the next couple pf hundred years?" Abe exclaimed, r 'That's the idea," Morris agreed. "And the English people stands for such treatment?" Abe said. ' ! "What do yon mean treatment?" Morrie said. "Ain't It' a whole lot better to have a bunch of senators appointed for life which everybody knows what they are, than to havo a new bunch of senators wished on you every few years which heaven alone knows what they are?" "Still, onc in a while we get a pretty good senator in the senate at that, Mawruss," Abe remarked, "but you take them lords which Is lords only on account of their fathers be ing lords, and compare them to a young garment manufacturer who Is wr vw The King Of Clean Comedy Successful in 12 of the biggest laugh specials ever released, 3 series; commencing with "BUMPING INTO BROADWAY" and ending with his recent special, "I DO." SEE THEM ALL Ihe Fasmodiis Am "THE FIRST NEWS REEL; v Issued Twice Weekly Snub Pollard Aesop's Fables Modernized The Adventures of "Bill and Bob," Boy" Scout Activities. The Pathe Review, The Screen's Greatest Magazine, "Topics Of The Day;" the Original Literary Digest and two serial follow-ups each week. See Thorn All -At Your Favorite c;;7;.':'v Theatres ' -. PATHE EXCHANGE IN CHARLOTTE, BRANCH 235 S. TRYON, E. E. HELLER, Mgr! only a garment manufacturer on account of his father having been a garment manufacturer, y'under stand, and if ft works but the same way in the house of tords as It does in the garment trade, Mawruss, I see where that-house of lords might do business upt to the fall and win ter season of 1922-24 before the pe tition in bankruptcy is filed, Maw russ." " "But seemingly that Is Just the kind of lord that the English like to have in the house of lords, Abe," Morris tid. "It's the lord that used to was in the brewery 'business or the soap business which the English people objects to, Abe, even thoogif'such a lord was' made 4 lord on account of the ability he has shown in the soap business, y'understand.' '' , , "Well, you can't blame them, Mawruss," Abe replied. "Take Leon Sammet for instance, and no body, la going to accuse him that he ain't shown ability in the' gar ment business, Mawruss, but if that crook was made a lord and we wasn't,i Mawruss, we'd put up a pretty big holler, too, Mawruss, which if the United States govern ment wou,ld go to work and make lords out of every American sttson who had shown ability in business. THE REAL NEWS FIRST Sees All, Knows AIL Baseball y'Understand, the American house of lords would make, the Woolworth building look like1 a portable Cali fornia style bungalow.',',-.; "And If 'the government ' would add to, that American house of lords all them people which considered they Jiad a right to be American lords on, account of being the eld est sons of "iiltsons who- had shown ability in business Abe there would have to be branch houses of lords established In every federal reserve district," Morris said. "At that., Mawruss, I don't think that such an American house of lords would be -a popular success over here, y'understand, on account It's very hard "to put over in this country something which has been so to speak, an old ' established amusement jn the old country. Take (or Instance polo, and while the newspapers made big fuss over the - International . polo matches Which took place over in England, Mawruss, 'and which the American polo players won, y'understand, how many people is really apd truly what you might call polo' fans In this country?" Abe said "P&lo la a rich man's game, Abe," Morris said. "For one polo player to be equipped In an up-to-date way, Abe, he's practically got to start In by buying out a livery stable and a sporting goods store, and he's got to have all his . polo clothes made from Imported pat terns on 'account of there being practically fess demand for polo pants than there Is for submarine divers' clothing." V "Well, golluf ie a rich man's game, toouand look how many peo ple are playing - golluf nowadays, whereas you take polo, Mawruss, and I bet there ain't a single polo plaster in the entire cloak and suit district," Abe said. "Also, Mawruss, while as I understand It, the first polo match for the championship of the world was played way back In the seventies, there ain't no case on record where anyone tried to make a book on a polo series or that a single, polo player was ever tried for throwing ' a world cham pionship polo seriea" "Polo players come from too good a class of sltsons to do a thing like that," Morris declared. "So do baseball players, Maw russ," Abe said, "or anyhow that's what the Jury decided out in Chi cago where them ball players was tried." "But I thought them baseball players confessed that they threw the world championship sarles," Morris said. ' ' "Suppose they did," Ah retort ed, "what difference does a little thing like a confession make to a Jury?" "Maybe the Jury waa right , at that,' : Abe." ".Morris aald. '"Maybe they figured that they couldn't be lieve a word them baseball players said, and If them players confessed that they threw the series, that was pretty good proof that they didn't, whereas if they had denied that they threw it, then to my mind the Jury would have been right in find ing them guilty." "But I see whore the managers of the basebay clubs - wouldn't give them players their old Jobs back," Abe said. "Well, maybe them baseball -Managers was afraid that It any of 'hem players got back In the game 5 Two Reel North-Woods Short Dramas First and second series picturized from Hofman Day's own Saturday Evening Post stories of the" Maine woods that is famed the world over. - ' S , Allematise with the 15 Tom Santschi. .. v fa L ft WW v -we ... snd struck but or something, the people ' sitting In the dollar seats might figure that the Jury got car ried away by the speeches that them players' lawyers made, and didn't bring In the right verdict." Morris said. "After all, Abe, a Juror which is anxious to get home to supper or back to the store . before closing time, can afford to make a snap decision, but a baseball manager who la depending on . the sale of dollar admissions to baseball games tor his living, might look - at the matter from a charitable viewpoint, y'understand, but in self protection, he's got to consider' that charity be gins at home." "Then who do you . think was right?". Abe inquired.;" "The Jury or the-baseball managers?" .. .. "Well, polo Is a good game to watch, Abe or anyhow, that's what people who seen polo match tells me, because I never seen a polo match myself y'understand, on ac count of polo matches in this coun try being praotically pulled off as often as kings' coronations and to tal eclipses of tha sun and -things like that, but if them baseball man agers had agreed to let bygones be bygones and had allowed the base ball players to get their old Jobs bacfl, y'understand world series po lo championships would seem like continuous performances, whereas AW, Ii.t r". i w w " m by ' :v MONTAGUE GLASS ffr '' ' baseball world series would come , round as often aa this here Halleyl -comet which happens every eighty years, and would get about as much ' gate receipts, Abe. Which them baseball players may. think they gof off easy before that Jury which tried them,, Abe, but there's a Jury :: ot several million baseball fans stilt to be heard from, and anybody can prophecy what the verdict will be."" "Of course, Mawruss, I. never went, to a world series tn, my Uf and never expect to do so, no mat ter how much, on the level baseball ' players might be, understand, but , wouldn't you think that Juries la. going fo let off basebay players -who, admit .jthey :':ivthrwVjaaehall ; game for money -even if ibasebaU managers wouldn't take them play-t" ers back it's bound "to keep base ball fans away from championship series, because them fans would fig ure that ' the players could . throw " the series If they wanted to and get away with it, too." ;. '';-,v;-;;', , "Well, baseball has lot a'; whole , lot of popularity on account of them crooked players, Abe," Morris concluded, "but baseball players haa got to be a whole ' lot : crookader than them championship throwars, before the game of baseball will have as little Interest for tha Am erican people as polo, or the Eng-. llsh house' of lords." . ,-f.fwV.s ' T 235 South Tryon Charh".?, ' 11 C.
The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.)
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Aug. 21, 1921, edition 1
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