Newspapers / The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, … / Dec. 9, 1906, edition 1 / Page 18
Part of The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
. C jV.iyLc ':iv':"Vi-::'V w)v;;i U:;y1;v charlotte ixyIo&servek, December 9 i9oa.;.l .". r ' " t r .... , . .. . . .. .. .. ... v. ,, '8 -. ... ... . . . ,..- , v---1 .",. . OLD STORIES REVISED ; ".'; 7'': RIP VAN WINKLE. BY GEORGK ADO Illustration by Albert levering .''4 'ir . '. uui wvtk aner ui" reium i nip 'A Van Winkle to his native town he sat to the tavern hitting up a few x Bchnappe with on of tho few re raelnlng friends of bis youth. While he was feeling a mite squiffy he ti opened up and told what had really , 'happened to him during; his long ab , ' MHO. Things had certiimly been eoni , . - Ing aoft for Kip since his sensational . 'i'" v-i il 1 Tl I ) many people when they tlrst saw hint hldina behind the mul of whisker yjr. fhAuht tiA wa a illvtno healer or ii '' 'fomMB who wan advertising om AM bin,, nf m i r t I alr when it was told around that he had been asleep In the mountains within three miles of the Tourt llou for twenty long years all the other town liars pulled down the green blinds and went out nf bUHlneiw. It was a hard blow to a thriving aud ambitious young city to have the prtxe tank come floating back after nil these vears. Hla relative and ac- qualntancea had to make the best or It. They shook hands with him and slapped him on the back and told him how well he was looking, which an more or Ices of a Joke, because they had hoped that he never would show up again, and when they saw the fringe around the trousers and tin cast torn up th back the knew that he had come homn to sponge a living In tho only town that would stand for him. They chipped in ami gave him enough money to k t a shave snl a hair cut und u -'ix liv able ready made suit. Within three days he fell strong enough t" g'-t out and work the old rnmriar u- fculL All he had to do was to wander Into a buffet and begin his yarn about ineeung UlU 1J I lie men Willi nR up In the Otaklllrt and how tliey jun- gled the drlnka on him ami luid him "in the hay for twenty years and li could alwa.y lind hoiiiu one uho would buy Just to keep him truing. Not aj barkeep In town lirlicwd MIh siory, but they striinc hnn along heeause he encouraged trale and they wanted te see how far he would go, and h thought he wax getting away with It. A week had elapsed and lie was still basking in the Kunlight of pub licity and standing on the most prom inent corners so that he could be pointed out as a celebrity. Alock von Kidder, who had be n a friend of his boyhood and was now tho venerable and respected Alderman from the Sec ond ward, happening to meet him in front of the V M. A . suggested that they stroll down to tlio Kllte l-'afa to shake the box und try to whlpaaw the house "l don't like to go In there." remarked Hip. "They have an old tab itgalnxl me and I tnayffel tho neltzer bottle." "It has been tnenty yetrs since JOU stood thrill up." said Aleck 'Mebbe they have loi gotten all about It." Bo they went down an alky nnl entered the Kllte by the back door, because Aleck, who una In politic, did not w ish to u' r himself with th pious element by going in from the street. There had been many changes In Hie old taproon since tip had Fern It, twenty years before To new slot machines had Im i n Installed. The plrtura of the welter-weight champion had been moved to I lo other side of the l elmx and a strange ly complicated device, known us a cash register, was bucked up against the large mirror, but there was the same old line of empty henedlctlne ( bottles on the top shelf and the lunch was apparently the same. Rip got stuck for theflrFt round, which meant that the Alderman had to produce, and then the two old friends sat at u quiet side table to talk of the happy day of yore. "There have been tunny changes In twenty years." sighed Hip. "I have lost all track of bucbiill aver ages and I don't dare to talk poll tics because i llnd that the great parties have swapped Insues. The red-handed revolutionist lias become 41he conservative leader, and tho talk that was regarded as anarchy when 1 did my famous disappearing act Is ,iof commended as safo and sane reasoning. A few years ugo the man who had money was admired and re apacted; now he seems to be regurdeil as a little worse than u horscthief and not quite ui bud us ii murderer Twenty years ago I was a bum I coma back now to lind that I am an advanced Socialist. " "'Come ofT," said (lie Aldennun admire a good piece of tbtloti us u-ll as any one and 1 will give jmi i-ciit for Biasing your storv seem .iao ii.lr but don't try to hand It to m ,n. just between the two of us lore, i.-i: ine, on th (bad level, white li.n. you been for the list twnety year" Hip looked l"hlilil und all aioinnl to make mire that no ope whs lisiin lng. and th"ti lo rani, i 'itillil'-til I u ! I "Keep thl mill will put y.n i- i out hat ami I tin whole lliln nghf I I - - I her. no i ii ill . iii . 1 1 1 1 i Tou reito mil nd wiiil on n 'rX'w ' ,.' ' . Utt$ Mfcrga errs V " ' '' '" V I had that awful scrap with my wife? Well, 1 DID m.-el two men carrying a keg of Minor. That part of It la straight. Whenever you find men up In a lonely part of the mountains cutting through the underbrush with u keg of corn whlsltey you can gam ble on It that they're moonshiners. I knew they wouldn't dare refuse me a drink, no I fell In with them and tried to be" friendly, and finally they set 'em up. They must have figured that I was u revenue officer or Home I other kind of government employe, first, bemuse 1 couldn't afford to wear very good clothes, and. second, he- cause I had my gun with me. Ho . i when they gave me thin drink they i put In enough knockout drops to kill , u horse I pussed away, and when I eanie to they hud done me skiuoo. 1 kpi until the next afternoon, and when 1 woke up the nun wan shining j In m - fare and I had an awful case of bust-head. 1 wan afraid to come home, and I knew that I had about ' iilavcrt my string In this town. so. af- ter Hitting there uwhlle and thinking ver the ultiiatlon, I hit the long trail (or the W.st. Hy telling a new hard- luck story in every town that I struck I hooii cultivated my Imagination and lieennie more than convinced that a man who can live by conversation ih i.ki!-Ii to go out and work eight hour i'i cry day. I finally landed In rniliui'R. where I became a promoter I mid u merger. 1 would find two men competing In some line of manufac ture and 1 would Induce them to; combine two plants worth lii.OOO each Into a stock company and Ixaue 1100, 000 worth of stock, and I would get half of the stock for providing the conversation. It was a great scheme w I 1 1 It lasted, but llnully a man "muw rt iHiiunnr r, an a ;. stronger than mine came ulong und took all of my Mock conipunlea and put them Into one big company and froze me out. . -Well. I wandered shout from one l:are to another, accepting any em ployment which did not call for act uhI labor. My qualifications conslted uf being a good fellow and having a thirst that never faltered. I was a lobbyist and u real estate boomer and secretary of a campaign committee. Finally when I had worked every graft I could think of 1 decided to come back to my native town and live on my relations und old friends. You may have noticed thnt when a man has petered out everywhere else he always lands back on his kin. Thoy can't shake him without getting themaelves talked about. I knew that all of my debts here had been wiped out under the statute of limitations, and that I could come back here and get husy with a new generation. It n a long walk, hut I llnully arrived. 1 didn't want to own up to my rec ord for the last twenty years, and I knew that even a liar of my exuber ant fancy would have hard work to fill In Imaginary details for such a long period, so I fell back on the old gag. You know, when a fellow goes off on a hst and his family have the pollco looking for lilm. ami he Is lust seen In I'hlcago, and then wakes up In ii hotel In Providence three weeks later, the only wuy for him to square himself Is to say that he doesn't re member anything that happened. Ho I llxed up the story about being ;i trance. With the hair and the whiskers and the bud suit of clothes I certainly looked an if I had been i urled up In the weeds for at least twentv years. I remembered where I had planted the gun because I had been too lazy to carry It. so I went and dug up the rusty old barrel und landed In here and handed the na tives what I believe to bo one of the masterpieces of American fiction. You can see for yourself what h hit I've made. 1 don't have to answer any embarrassing question." I have ' discovered tho only sure method of wiping out a long and crooked pant j I flmply say that I have been asleep ! for twenty years and have been I dol ing a blameless life. You might not think that I could put that kind of a story across and make It stick, but I have, und if my reputation keeps on growing I wouldn't be a bit sur prised to receive .1 good offer to go on the lecture platform." I "You are certainly a wonder." said I Alderman von Kidder. "Next to the Inter-Htate Commerce. Commission. 1 have no doubt that your sleep is the I longest on record. I won't tip off the i truth to any one. You stund by me In politics and Indorae my official r ord and I'll Indorse your story ubout the long sleep, and that will be ubout : h stand-off " So of all the people n that tlniv- log voting illy Von Khlder u as the 'only on who knew for u ert;iiiitv thai Hip Van Winkle was a fnk I'he Ktoiv was reneatSil over and over. with Im leaving umlet ment At lal I It got Into the newspapers, with big tour column pictures of Mr. Van i Winkle before and after his icmatK- 1 a hie i x per h in In t he i'h Isk I Ms, u 1 1 h pictures or Ills wife, his old home- I -.1.11.1. the mill the Whisker-., the clog. . A. "lib a map of the ( 'at vk III Moan- m - - - - i. m i . -n- I m -v m Hinriii: i Jil.'IIIIIIIIILitiiililii lllll "'"I'i 'i ii V V -' hWWV VfVa.r- -i i m i ii w asw ma. - -a. a .r sB.ji'm -mm- w . s7AA. . -w b v i i as . u w "mr mv , . a, :j, . w . . m l r m (fl rf i r " . tains and an X mark Indicating the spot where he slept, and then the most doubting soul seemed to be convinced. All except one. There had lately come to town a young doctor who was working hard to build up a practice, lie had no reputation and it was con trary to the ethics of his profession to advertise by the ordinary methods, but he sent for a reporter and had himself Interviewed as an expert upon : the possibility of ii human being re- IIIAIIIIIIH III 11 IIIU- "1 1 Oilltl lOI M period of twenty years. In this Inter view the doctor was mentioned as a "celebrated specialist," both his house address and his ollli e address being mentioned and a two-column picture run with the story. The, doctor dem onstrated that It would bo absolutely l Impossible for the essential organs of . fx. . ,i..,v . ag 'l in 1, 1 am iT. t i nT i ssr-- mK YI I t"CA- ;ot- sy-g n't, the body to resume their normal functions after a period of suspen sion exceeding In length a few weeks, lie quoted numerous authorities; he staked his whole repututlon upon the bold assertion that Mr. Vnn Winkle hud deceived the public and was an Impostor of the most barefaced and shameless description. After this arraignment had been printed, the reporter came to see Mr. H MM VT M y .if Van Winkle to get his side of the case. Mr. Vim Winkle had gone so far that he could not afford to buck water, and so ho repeated the whole preposterous mess of stuff about tuk Ing the drink und hunting a soft place Under the trees and lying there twen ty years, at last awakening to find the rotted gun and the skeleton of the dog alongside. Then the expert eaine back with n letter to the editor ami wanted to know why the dog hadn't slept too and come out all right, und he offered to give a largo sum of money to any charitable. Institution that might be named If Mr. Vnn Winkle would con sent to lie on a mattress In some public place und give an exhibition nap of Just one short month In order to prove his i use. As soon as tn,. young doctor began to hammer the venerablo and re. spected Mr. Vnn Winkle and appar ently had him ..n the run, the public, with its un. rniK Instinct .of con tempt for a ton. ring Idol. Joined In the general oi,t, ry. Mr. Van Winkle had niaile the y'oat mistake of com ing home hh a hero. He should have known that in America no hero ever lasts. The dear people boost some nice old man up on H high pcdeHtal Just so that they enn have a good fair target nt which to shy their brickbat . As soon as Itlp Van Winkle was on the down grade and moving ut an accelerated speed the newspapers Joined in with enthusiasm to do him up completely. The editor who hud printed the full-page story about his marvelous mlvenlure In thn moun tains sent private detectives over the ground und proved that tho smull boys of the town had gathered hick ory nuts evety year nn the very spot where this hoary old humbug claim ed that he had hern asleep. When Mr. Van Winkle wna asked to explain away the damning proof piled up against him. he took refugd In dlgnl-1 fled silence, and the public, as usual, construed his silence as an absolute admission nf guilt. Mr. Van Winkle, Instead of being a petted and pampered celebrity, now found himself in a class with the United mates Bono tor who has been written up In thn magailne. Ills hu miliated relatives and close , friends, who had been glad to share with him the first glories nf hit sensational re turn, now looked around for some good pretext for railroading him Into the remote background. . They were Inclined to take a charitable view of his rase. Instead of publicly . de nouncing him ss deliberate and vl 1ou faultier thejr . agreed among themselves that ha was menially no balanced. Bo they had him put away la private tanlUrtum, and ssnt tho mtaomuLi Turner y jg1 ' -. 7- young doctor and other famous ex perts to peek at him through the bars. When Mr. Van Winkle was brought into the court room he looked across at the jury box and saw six dignified, sad-eyed representative American business men. "I can make out my finish," mur mured Mr. Van Winkle. "What chance has a beautiful mythical legend or a fragment of sweet, 'poetic folklore got with that bunch of narrow-minded commercial clams? My ticket for the nut college la now be ing stamped on the back. I can see the booby hatch yawning for one old man that got too gay with his talk. No matter how successful a liar a man may be, .there is always a dan ger that he will reach for a tall one and land on his neck." What could poor Hip A'an Winkle VI HIS FAITHFUL ... vc iC VT - II rX 'Se4?y tut ou vw wwkli mansion on imihun ' I II f lt .ax1-. I P.;;-ls f p.' 7 do? If ha disowned the whole story about sleeping In the mountains and told the candid truth about his twen ty years of jumping board bills, run ning up bad debts and moving from town to town, would any on believe him? And if tliey did believe him, and even If ha could prove it, would his situation be Improved? Was It bet ter to be a crook than & lunatic? He took a desperate chance and told without rhetorical flourish the sweet and simple story that had so charmed the townspeople on the day of his return. He told of the dark night on tho mountain pathway, of the rumbling thunder and the vivid flashes of lightning, of meeting the two elfish little strangers and how they beckoned htm to the. mountain top, there In the gathering gloom of the. night, and of the strange revels, the stupefying draught, and then forgetfulness! Also of that strange awakening In a new and unfamiliar world, and how he had groped his way back to the scenes of bis happy youth.. When he had. concluded, the hard ware clerk, the man who worked In the grain elevator,' the assistant post inaalei1. the proprietor' of the feed store the Owner ot the Oem grocery and the prescription, cferb; ffom Mc Intyre's drag store, all seated grave ly In the jury box, exchanged signifi cant winks and whispered one to an other, "There's nothing to It he's dippy." Next week Mr. Van Winkle, like many another man who attains a skyrocket popularity, found himself down and out and forgotten. He was In a snug little apartment at a State Institution, engaged In wrlUng his memoirs on the whitewashed wall with u broken nail. NEW RACE OF MEV. Some Arctic Natives Pound Who Had Never Seen a Whltd Man's Face. London Chronicle. Mall disaptches received of Queens town yesterday from Victoria, British Columbia, contain an account of the discovery on Prince Albert Land, in the Arctic Ocean, of a strange peo ple, wno had never seen white men, and who lived under most primitive conditions, and were armed with rude corper knives, bows and arrows. The discovery of these people was made by Capt. Kllnklnberg, of the steam whaler Olga, while his vessel was wintering in the ice, and ie com municated the nature of his find to the officers of the British revenue cut ter Thetis, who brought the news to British Columbia. ('apt. Kllnklnberg, who has had a long experience In the command of whalers In arctlo waters, and Is a very daring man, derided to proceed on a hunting and exploration expedition. Inland, and Induced some Eskimos to accompalny him. The party were fXXJ.tCHNtlDIPlOV l ' -t. - , - eAtftTW:etatTstgtaagitjp RIP VAN WINKLE. jT A6HI NOW APftARSx t V X atmeij with rifles, and when .they had traveled a distance of 160 ml lea In a . northwesterly direction over the enow; . ' -they discovered traces of people who fled at their approach. - T . 1 s t. Captt Klnklnberg succeeded In over a . taking them, , and round that they , '1 numbered 19. When they aaw him land his party 'thty cama, forward lu a rather v threatening 'manner. They , . were armed with roughly made cop , i -per knives nd bows and arrows.- j i Fearing an attack, roa . captain' r , .'.' dared the rifles, of his small party te,, . be leveled at ,- the natives., .This ha the effect of frightening them.. One who apparently was the chief .of the . .-: ' natives, then, advanced ' toward .."the. " captain and put down his weapons, ,: CJaDt. KllnkJnberr dolnar likewise. - Tney became friendly nd -aube-sr'- fluently. Capt. Kllnklnberg learned by';; signs trom an oia woman wno came . . from Prince William Und that the" natives had, never seen white people before. He proceeded with the ca-' ; 600 people in it. The solfe means of y , subsistence was by hunting and flah--"i; -. , lUg." '--V. : .-,..- :; Tha dress of these .strange people was not like that of other Eskimos, but. was somewnat similar to that worn ,b the Greenland native. , It Wag made, of sort of tanned skin sew ed together with deer alnewa. Their; v; winter house wsra of sod with a lln "-. Ing of skins, and Ciulte different In shape from those " of other known ',, v tribes In the arctla region. The na- tFves are nnmnilln .''. K. 4 jl no uvciisiui iq ino aula were i tna . ... most , primlUve deacrlptlon. In toe ' ' V ' ' main fashioned from bone, and some vV'' from native copper. The only artlclea seemingly brought from civilization' : which capt. Kllnklnberg could dis cover in the tillage was a piece of Steel, with the end of it beaten Into a spearhead. This, he believed, had Dfen round near the coast and bellng d to some ship. The men and wo men were small in stature and in fea tures not ugly. apt Kllnklnberg considers them an intelligent people. Love Laughs at Hoods. Portland Oregonlan. High water played all sorts of havoo with the wedding plans of Chauncey Lewis Oell and his intend ed. He had to buy two marriage licenses and to pay his hard-earned dollars Into the coffers of two States before the way was legally paved. Mr. Oell appeared at the county clerk's office yesterday afternoon. He stood under the old wedding bell there for a moment and then asked. "Can I buy a marriage license here?" Deputy County Clerk Cupid Ross Informed him that he could, and soon the papers were made out. "How much?" asked GelL "Three dollars," was the quick re ply. "Well, I guess I'll have to pay up," said the prospective bridegroom, "but It's pretty tough to have to buy two licemps to marry the same girl. Only yesterday I bought a marriage license over in Cathlamet, Wash., but we became frightened over the reports of high water and came over here. I was told that my Washing ton license was no good here, so I -am getting this one. It has cost me $8 so far for license alone. Won der what the preacher will want?" Shiver Nature's Remedy. New Orleans Times-Democrat. At the Thanksgiving football game the young girl, desplte'her aable stole, shivered. "That shiver." said her companion, a phyaJslan. "is nature's method of warning you. It nature's prevent ive remedy for a cold. "You see, the shiver is an involun tary rhythmical contraction of the muscles, and there la nothing like a contraction of the muscles for rais ing the temperature of the body. "Thus, when you shiver nature is putting you through a little course of exercises to warm you up, so that you won't take cold or a dose of rheumatism or an attack! of pneu monia. When nature shakes you up In this kindly way It is your duty to help her out by moving briskly About for a while, thus making absolutely sure your Immunity from illness." , Had rienty of Exercise. Boston Herald. Dr. H. N. Walte, of Vermont, hsd a patient on one occasion who, al though comparatively a young man, seemed to be In a decline, so after a long consulting the doctor said to htm. "Medicine may modify your symp toms, but regular exercise will bring you permanent relief. Tou don't take exercise enough." "Don't take exerolse enough!" ex claimed the patient. "Why, good heaven, I've been Chairman of the committee on collection of our pas tor's salary for, twelve years. " ' Pica, for the Klrphant. West African Mall. It would be no unfortunate event for Africa If some European philan thropists, who now squander their homeopathic charities on the welfare of the negroes, were to turn their sympathy a little to the pitiable lot which haa befallen the elephant destroyed merely for the sake of con verting Its teeth Into billiard balls and useless ornaments. -Jj Cftott HWtfAWMttt VAN WINflU t e H . 1
The Charlotte Observer (Charlotte, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Dec. 9, 1906, edition 1
18
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75