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JOKE ON THE RAILROAD.
Cxverlence off a Swede Who Had
Ticket to South .Dakota.
Thp'.Auties of the claim agent's depart-?
mentvwould be reduced to a minimum if
il oaR0ft wpre lik one recently related
; ... - - "
fDy a rauway uipiujee, uue ecuiug.:a
short 'time ago the, engineer of one of the
trains running west from Chicago, which
was clipping along at good speed over
the prairie, became suddenly conscious,
of the presence of a man on the track
immediately in front of him. He had
hardly time to take in thisimpression T)e- L
fore he felt a siignt bqock ana a oars i
" mass vaguely outlined by the beadlightJ
described a large semicircle in the air 'to
the right and disappeared in the dark
ness. Shocked and sickened by the event,
but conscious of blamelessness on his own
part, the engineer pulled the train up at
the next station and wired to division
headquarters:
"Struck a man mile back from Cedar
Grove. Shall we go back and pick up?
Waiting instructions."
( -There was some delay over the wiring,
and a little group gathered around the
engineer listening to his story and con
versing in low tones over his bad luck.
'I only got a glimpse of him." he said,
"before we struck him. He went into the
air so high that I saw him by the light
jof the headlight, add he must have struck
some ways from the track. , I suppose hia
clothes must have held him together.
Then after a pause: "That's the worst I
ever had. 1 hope it's the last."
This calkul up some reminiscences, of
the experience of others of the gronp.
They were interrupted by a panting voice
coming out of the darkness behind the
group:
"Des train go to Dakota?"
The speaker being informed that that
was the Dakota train, breathed 'a sigh of
reliefr
"Tail." he crntinued, "Ay tank Ay run
bout fas' 's relrode train. ' Ay bot teeket
to Sout' Dakota, en teeket. man hay tak
ma six tollar feefty cents en tole may Ay
'skal go tran tonight, Ay meet tran
back here haleways en ben run lak yack
rabbit." Just then the reply came from head
quarters. "You're to go on. Jim," said
the beaner of the order, "and we're to get
out a freight engine and send back from
here for the man you struck." The
Swede became interested.
"Vat fur dees enyine go back?" he
asked, and then some of those standing
near looked at him for the first time.
His hat was gone, his clothing was in
strings, and what there was of it, as well
as the exposed portions of his husky
person, was covered with thick mud.
Some one explained in a few words. The
"train was just moving.
"Ay tank Ay get gude yoke on relrode
tran." he chuckled as he climbed th" steps
of the smoking car. And then as he mov
ed away into the darkness he yelled back
to the little group:
"Ay got yoke on relrode tran! Ay bane
that fallar masalf!" St. Paul Picneer
Press. A LIFE AND DEATH FIGHT.
Mr. W. A. Hines of Manchester, la.
writing' of his almost miraculous es-
cape from death, says: "Exposure after
measles induced serious lung trouble,
which ended in consumption. I hat
frequent hemorrhages and coughed
night and day. All my doctors said I
must soon die. Then I began to use
Dr. King's New Discovery which
wholly cured me. Hundreds have used
it on my advice and all say it never
fails to cure throat, chest and lung
troubles." Regular size 50c. and Ji.O.
Trial bottle free at all druggists.
Wandering In Dreamland.
The young woman's mind was probably
away off in the land of cut on the bias
and yokes and flarings and plaitings and
applique and ruffles and things like that,
whatever they may mean.
Anyhow, when she got on an up town
Ninth street car the other afternoon, she
dreamily opened her pocketbook when
the conductor came around fqr her fare,
'stuck a gloved finger and thumb into one
of the compartments of the same, ex
tracted a couple of foulard samples, and,
with that faraway expression still in her
"eyes, handed them to the conductor. The
conductor was a middle aged man. He
smiled and waited for the young woman
to come out of her trance. But she held
the foulard samples out to him, with eyes
on vacancy, until the conductor, still grin
ning, had to fetch her back to earth.
"Yes, they're pretty, miss,'' he said,'
"and rd like to get my wife a dress off
that piece on top, but she's"
The young woman blushed like a red
hot stove lid. dug into another compart
ment of her pocketbook for a car ticket,
and she looked real embarrassed when
v the brutal male persons across the car
aisle grinned, so she did. Washington
Post
A WEALTH Ofr BEAUTY.
Is often hidden by unsightly pimples
eczema, tetter, erysipelas, salt rheum,
etc. Bucklen's Arnica Salve will glor-
ify the face by curing all skin erup
tions, also cute, bruises, burns, boils
felons ulcers and worst forma of piles.
The promising amateur musician
should promise not to play acy more.
Small in size and great in results ar
DeWitt's Little Early Risers, the fa
fJ' -inous ltttle p
'-f: J and bowels.
Vf-V ;yV T. C Smith.
fri f.s rr:. grass wic
, succeeded in
mous little pills that cleanse the live
widow is a woman who- has
succeeded in getting unmarried.
A MONSTER DEVIL FISH
.
Destroying its victim 1. a type of
tipation. The .power of this mal-
felt on organs, nerves, muscles
and brain. But Dr. King's New Life
'K''r -iPills are a safe and certain cure
Best
n the world for stomach, l.er,
kid
Some people put on so many airs
that their associates invariably catch
cold.
Peantbe
Signature
1 The Kind You Have Always Bought ,
tyfafelZty
of :
The most enterprising and su cestoful
mercha of AahevtJle advertise in the
Gazette.
mm
ki:oEENSBOROii.C.-.;
. J- . . x Tut i tni 1 a ft nffMiit innmtiLp.
7 . B" u TUC iKiiinil fiMtiut unonuiMr v. t
May good -;dges-
Mon wit on appetite
rafid fieiaJm; on
That sentence from Shakespeare is a
genuine benediction of the body- n. tin?
as in so many other things the' intuition of
his might y
mind; seems
to have fath-
onieathefacis j
? which science i
has .slowly
discovered.
" Sc1fice' ha
shown that
disease in any
parfbf 1 1. "
body is at
most , alway
acconipariitd
"by wcakiier
and failure of
the digestive
and assilnila:
tive organs.
Under these
conditions tlit
stomach, liver
and blood
making glands failin
their appoiir
edwork. Then
the symptom?
of disease at)pear,..ofteT in organs appar
ently remote from the real cause Vitality
is lowered. There is a dull and sluggish
feeling often accompanied by headache.
The heart may seem aflfected.'Chere-may
be lack of ambition and energy 'wuth mental
irresolution. With such symptoms as thei
"delay is dangerous." Such a condition
affords the favorite starting point for con
sumption. It is useless to " doctor for the
symptoms. The remedy that reaches the
case must reach the cause of disease.' The
greatest medicine for all diseases of the
stomach and other digestive and nutritive
organs is Dr. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery. It restores the appetitef re-estab
lishes a sound digestion, purges out the
bilious poisons which infect the blood, car
ries off waste and builds np .sound and
healthy tissues. The " Discovery " is not a
stimulant It contains no alcohol or whisky.
No other medicine has so great a record of
cures, therefore accept no substitute.
Dr. Pierce's Pellets cure constipation.
Storing the smmi's- Hen-t.
One of the optimistic and .general
expectations indulged in at the present
day is the realization during the com
ing century of what is pronounced the
greatest and most important of pro
spective Inventions, namely, a machine
for storing the heat of the sun and
transforming it into electricity or some
other form suitable for ready employ
mentheat Avnich, though permitted to
go to waste, will, by means of such In
vention, be applied to the running of
mills, the warming or houses and every
other purpose for which energy is
utilized. The field for such an inven
tion and its world-wide Importance
are at once suggested by the ascertain
ed fact that every square yard of the
sun's surface emits an amount of heat
equal to that of a blast furnace con
suming one ton of coal every ten min
utes. The heat given out by the solar
nlobe, too, in one second would raise
10o.000.000 cubic miles of ice-cold wa
ter to the boiling point and of this heat
the earth receives only one two-billionth
part.
O
Bears the
Signature
of
The Kind You Have Always Bought
The Education of Mothers.
The authoritative tone that the ma
jority of young women take with their
mothers nowadays is not precisely an
Indication of good breeding; but then
good breeding seems to be rapidly go
ing out of fashion. A few relics of it
are still left, just enough to show how
delightful a thing it was. A really cour
teous man is now described as being
of the "old school." A really high bred
woman, is called "old-fashioned." So
inegale ici-bas is life pour l'homme et
pour la femme, to quote Victor Hugo.
Nobody would like to see children go
back to the stilted stiffness of the days
when they called their parents "Sir"
and "Madam." But their present de
meanor Is the reverse of polite or gen
tle, and reflects but little credit on
themselves or on those who have
brought them up. The mothers seem
to get accustomed t this kind of brus
(iverie from their daughters, and do
not perceive its effect upon people who
hear and see it for the first time.
Tfev.Tsavirf MonnPrtV
iravorite Remedy
CURES ALL KIPNE STOMACH
'AND LIVER TRUUBUtS
A CARD OF THANKS.
I wish to say tha I feel under last
ing obligations for what Chamberlain's
Pnnrt "Rpmdv has done for our family
Wo vmvo nsprt it in so many cases 01
0 M
We Sr w tSnhtei and whooping'
coughs, lung troubles and wftoopmg ,
S7
cough, and it tras always given ""iWftr, scr,.ce. and thev seldom heard of
most peneci eauoiatuvii. . -
We Iccl
ereatlv indented xo uie iuauuiuuip
;atiy indented xo xne ""-":
of this remedy and wish them to please
rrort our hearty tnanKS. iespem.
fully, Mrs. S. Doty, ies momes, a
For sale by C. A. Kaysor.
A Story of M. Gaillanme.
An amusing story is told of M. Gull
laume. the retiring president of th
wdiiaIi Afts.flAmv in Rome. M. Gu.Ii-
laume, who is well known and greatly
esteemed in -the Italian capital, is m
l-v 0-ratir-T,inth irnr TTp i still balft
TowpvpT nn v,r,fl.
anri heartv. however, and a veryiiand-
some old gentleman to boot. A young
Raman lady of noble family and artis-f
tic tastes has now '.fallen in lore with"
him and has actually "proposed." The
venerable sculptor appears to Ihave
oi, o mnn,t,'. ioV Vtira -ht
x 11.- ;j m t.j. v
answer, ai ine cnu mj
told tne young lady that May and De-
cember would not make the best alll-
nce, and modestly declined . the of-
'er. The fair signorina haa taken the
eft sal so much to heart that she now
pre.?r3 in widows weeaHjaira swears.
he will not change them until- her
I iomeo alters his mind or dies
tBft'S .FRIEND
thiiJordeal of
woman who use': jkiuixiaxv , s,.
, child-hirth for it1 robs
' horror and insures safety to motherland
Our booV, Before. Baby is Bora," is
I its weight in gold t6 every .woman and
;De sent tree in piain enycio yj
NOVELTIES IN Ai'CONS.
Many Variations of Design are Shown
in the Fancy Little Article.
;The fancy .apron from an -article of
occasional utility has burst forth into
.the . glory of performing constant duty
'functions where its presence is really
regarded with fashionable interest. It
"predominates at summer charity fairs,
ia' the boudoir jtnd in the sewing room.
f But its latest appearance is at the after-
nooh tea
. Tie in
miovation- of wearing the fancy
apron at the afternoon function is dis
guised under the charitable name of fad,
but down in the summer' girl's heart she
adores the abbreviated little article for
the many spots it saves her handsome
toilette.
i,.,
J
Fancy Api on of C hi Hon.
No recommendation for their economy
can bo given with a description oi these
aprons, however, for the fanciest ones
are quite costly. They are made of em
broidered and hand-pain fed chiffons and
tsilk gauzes and are trimmed in the most
artistic manner with ribbons and real
laces. In many instances the bib is of
real renaissance.
HO -Sli.il iO.Sll,'.!.
Less I't'ii'ii-'ivo designs are mad?,
though, t !;;.-. nv developed in shee;
lawns in-.i'rted with v;ilonciennes lace
aud tit j fne embroidery.
Ileleu Grey-Page.
The Chinese ask, "How is your liv
er?" instead of. "How do r do?" for
when the liver Is active the health 13
good. DeWitt's Little Early Risers ar
famous little pills for the liver ant
bowels. Dr. T. C. Smith.
If speech is silver and silence is
golden where does the greenback come
in
Dr. David Kennedys
lEavorite Remedy
CURES ALL KIDNEY. STOMACH '
AiD UVFR TROUBLES.
Experience is a pretty dear teacher
when it comes in the form of a hand
some school ma'm.
v Starvation never yet cured dyspep
sia. Persons with indigestion are al
ready half starved. They need plenty
of wholesome food. Kodol Dyspepsia
Cure digests what you eat so the body
can be nourished while the worn-out
organs are being reconstructed. It is
the only preparation known that will
instantly relieve and completely cure
all stomach troubles. Try it if vou are
suffering from indigestion, it will cer
tainly do you good. Dr. T. C. Smith
It's strange people render homage to
a great man when he dies, tut not
when he is born.
QUESTION ANSWEI
D.
Yes, August Flower still has the larg
est sale of any medicine in the civi zed
world. Tour mothers and grandmotn
era never thought of using anything else
Indie.eatkm m Biliousness Doctors
innanlMH. NprvmiS
, 11.111. -K.T -r- - vn
Prostration or
Heart Failure, etc.
. T,r,. . ,1C1QJ Anat
Fk)wer to clean out tBe ey9tem and Bt0p
fermentation of undige ted food, tegu
late the action of the liver, stimulate
the nervous and organic action otf the
system, and that is all they took when
feeling dull and bad with headaches and
other aches. You only need a few dose
of Green's August Flower in liquid form
td imake you satisfled there is nothing
serious the matter witn you. or-aaie
at W. C. Carmichael's. v
A TTUiy po
A trulv oolite man always listens
with interest to the story he has heard
dozen times.
. PAIN-KILLER as an Internal remedy
-nas no equal in cases or summer com-
- Plaiats, diarrhoea, dysentery.
quickly. Used as a liniment
It cures
nts action
- is Jike maeric. when
aonlied to baa
burn scalds and sprains. For
& headache and toothache don't
ffaJ1 it In ghort it is a Paln.
Killer Avoid , sul statutes ; there is
but pain-" .ller, Perry Davis',
Price 25c' and 50c
Gaette want adds.
reach Asheville
I
And other painful and serious ailments which
so many mothers suffer, can be avoided by
the v-use of Mother's Friend." This
remedy .is a God-send to women, because it
carries them . throilirh 'their most . critical
ordeal with pejrfect safety and no uain. No.
" need fear the suffering and dangerof,
its " - 6 . .
child. l r7nmnrnjfl fll P
worth, LuJiLU II InllC-lfti K)J
ttv01
1 Avy7s .:f,r.z.s I
f Tf I Vf f VV' WWW w WW W WW w V m
PEOPLE'S !
T T I i " VWT WWWW WrWWrZw
MI&CELLANEOU8.
HELP is in demand. Those wanting
cooks or chambermaids sh( uld.t apply
at once, as the season Is advancing
' and the supply of help deci rasing.
JOHN SMITH, 15 N. Main, 'phone
call 680. 96 tf.
WANTED ACTIVE MEN OF GOOD
ch racter to deli" r ana collect for
old established wholesale and export
ing house. Bona fide salary of $900 a
year guaranteed with expenses. Ref-
- erences exchanged. Enclose self-addressed
stamped envelo i .
WHOLESALERS AND EXPORT
ERS, Third Floor, 33 x De "born St.,
Chlcajo. 8--30t.
DOES THIS INTEREST YOU? WE
have customer for purchase of nice
little Lome with garden and yaru. ia
good neighborhood, on or near street
car line; also customer for laTge
boarding ho -..--cor small hotel for rent
for summer; also customers for 5, 6,
7 and 8 room unfurnished houses, well
constructed, with, modern conven
iences and in good neighborhood.
Wilkie & LaBarbe, Real Estate Brok
ers, 23 Patton ave., 'phone 661.
MISS NORA WARB-Pianist and teach,
er in stringed instruments. Corner o
Spruce an Woodfln streets.
HOTELS AND BOARDING HOUSES.
WANTED A gentleman and wife as
boarders in a private family; house
and furniture new; only 10 minutes'
walk from the square, and desirable
part of 'the city. Terms very low. Ad
dress Permanent, Gazette.
GENTLEMAN deeir.s board in pri
vate famiiy few miles frtun Ashe
ville for the months of July and Au
gust, near river or lake; describe lo
cat on and give price per week. Ad
dress Ashe vine Gazette. 97-bt.
ROCK LEDGE, Ashville, N. C, Board
ing; new house; all modern conven
iences; perfectly sanitary; located on
Battery Park Hill near Postoffice;
free from dust and noise; excellent
table; rates, $1 to $2 per day. 'Mrs.
Lucetta V. Cole 62 Haywood et.,
'phone No. 416., Asheville, N. C.
ROM AND TABLi3 BOARD in pri
vate family. Table very beet the
market affords; centrally located; on
. car line; terms very lowi Address
H, Gazette. 77tf.
ROOMS Nicely
housekeeping
63-26t
furnished for light
C 1 at i.39 alJey .
FOR RENT.
FOR RENT Two connecting furnished
rooms for housekeeping for $10 a
month ito the right party. 38 S.
FRENCH BROAD AVE.
FOR RENT A new four-roo . cottage
and two acres pasture; 1 1-2 miles
out, on Lookout Mountain street rail
way. Apply to C. S. Cooper, 39 S.
Main st. 93tf.
FOR RENT A COUPLET. ELY FUR-
nished sven-room house, with all
moderu conveniences and electric
lights; near street car line; only five
minutes' walk from Cou square.
Apply at No. 6 Giady St., or Wilkie
& LaBarbe 82 tf.
FOR RENT One boardinsr house. 12
rooms, all modern conveniences and
electric ligh ; on newly paved street.
Also one seven-room cottage, one fur
nished and one unfurnished fl all
modern conveniences. Apply to O. D.
Revell, 32-34 Paton ave.
FOR SALE.
FOR SALE CHEAP One five-gallon
ice cream freezer in good condition
at No. 3 East Court square; also an
Al bicycle; cost $50; wheel which can
be bought very reasonable. Call on
J. S. Mosseller. Phone 628.
FOR SALE Or exchange town los and
land in Florida. Address Z. L., eare of
Gazette.
FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE. Lo
at Pinebluff, N. C. Address N. S. M
care Gazette. t
Last fall I sprained my left hip while
handling some heavy boxes. The doctor
I called on said at first it was a slight
strain and would soon be well, but It
grew worse and the doctor then said I
had rheumatism. It continued to grow
Worse, and .1 could hardly get around
to work. I went to a drug store and
the druggist recommended me to try
Chamberlain's Pain Balm- I tried It
n.r, rl V 1 - f A X. 1 Lll . 1
auu j Lic-utx.il. ui to, ou-cent uotue curea i
me entirely. I now recommend it toi
all my friends. F. A. Babcock, Erie
Pa. It is for sale by C. A. Raysor.
Gazette want ad bring quick return
News and Opinions
OT"
s
National Importance
THE
ALONE '
CONTAINS BOTH
Daily, by mail,.. $6 a year
Daily and Snnday by mail, $8 a year
The Sunday Sun
I '' , -t-;-.
to tke greatest Sunday newspaper L
the world.
Price 5c a copy. By mail $2 a year.
r ' r . SL'ri XVII
People in trie early stages of Kidney
Diseases had better hare a care. If you
don't stop that pain in the back, some of
these days you will have Bright's Disease,
Catarrh of the Bladder, , or Gravel and
Stone in the Bladder. This is startling,
but it is true. You are just as much in
peril if you have frequent aesire to urinate
at night, and if there is a scalding pain in
passing water. If you suffer from any
or all these symptoms, you had better
begin at once to take
Dr. David Kennedy's
Favorite Remedy
Tina vocrotahlft mftrlip.inA will malcA vnn
feel better in a day or two. Your urine j
will clear un. the uric acid will be sena- Jf U
rated from it, and the desire to pass
water will be subdued to natural condi
tions. That pain in the back will cease. The bowels will move regularly anj ;
naturally, and all signs of Dyspepsia and Biliousness will disappear. Yo;
will feel at least ten years younger, and look younger, too.
Letter Carrier A. T. Cook, of 417 Third Avenue, West Troy, N. Y., says:
" For years I suffered from Constipation, with Pains through mj Liver and Kid
neys, which were very acute. I tried many medicines, but nothing did me any
good until I got a bottle of Dr. David Kennedy's Favorite Remedy. It helped
me wonderfully, and now I am a well man."
A large bottle is sold by druggists for $1, or six bottles for $5.
TRIAL BOTTLE FREE.
Send your name and address to the DR. D A VTD
KENNEDY CORPORATION, Rondout, N. Y.,
mentioning this paper. You 'will receive by re
turn mail, absolutely free, a trial bottle of Fa
vorite Remedv, and a pamphlet containing val
uable medical advice, ouch as everybody needs.
THE WAYNESVILLE IN
Wiynesvllle, IS. C.
Under the personal nwageme .t T E.
Boston.
Accommodations for 150 guests. Bui
new. All the modern improvements fol
J. E.
HOTEL FLEMING r Marion, n.
GKDBER CONCERT
New York
Weekly Tribune
An old, staunch, tried and true friend of the American people from tbe
Atlantic to the Pacific and the pioneer in every movement calculated to ad
vance the interests and increase the prosperity of country people in every
state in the union.
For over half a century farmers have followed its, instructions in raising
their crops and4n converting them into cas'h have been guided by ita markefc
reports, which have been national authority.
If you are interested in "Science and Mechanics," that department will
please and instruct. "Short Stories" will entertain old and young. "Fash
ion Articles" will catch the fancy of the ladies and humorous illustration
and items will bring sunshine to your household.
THE "yVEEKLY TRIBUNE is the people's paper for the entire United
States an J contains all important news of the nation and world.
Regular subscription price $1.00 per year, but we furnish it
And The Weekly Gazette One Year for $1.25
NEW YORK
THl-WEEKLY TRIBUNE
than once a week.
Containing all the striking news features of THE DAILY TRIBUNE up
to hour of going to press andis profusely illustrated.
Regular subscription price $1.50 per year, but we furnish- it
And the Weekly 6azette One Year for $2 CO
Send all ciders to The Gzettei Ashevil'e, &
One o the great advantages o going to Texas via Memphis
and the Cotton :jB?lt is, that you avoid the annoyances and dis
comforts of changing cars, necessary on other routes.
' The Cotton Pelt, trains are the only ones that run through
from Memphis to Texas without change.
" iee trains canry Pnllman Sleepers at night. Parlor Cafe Cars during
the day .and Through Coaches and Free Reclining Chair Cars both day and
, - night. The Service compares favorably with that of any road in the country -.
Write and tell us where you are going and when yon will leave, and we
wUl tell yon. what your ticket win cost and what tsaln to take to make th
beat time and connections. We will also sendyou an Interesting little booklet.
, Any w xoxas.
P. ft. WYATtrT. P. A., Cincinnati, Ohio.
H. If. SUTTON, T.
: EvW. LaBEAUME, (L
TRY THIS TEST,
Put some urine in a glass tumbler and let It
stand 24 hours. A sediment at the bottom or .
milky, cloudy appearance indicates that the kid
neys are in dangerous condition, and that
Favorite Remedy is badly needed. HealUiy
urine is clear, and does not stain linen.
Montague, formerly a resident of
Iding new, furniture new, everything
and up-to-date hotel.
MONTAGUE, Proprietor.
(JO., Proprietors.
For Nearly Sixty Years
the Leading National
Family Newspaperfor
Progressive Farmers
and VHIaaers.
Published Monday, Wednesday and1
Friday.
A complete, up-to-date daily ne"
paper three times .per week for bo
people who receive their mail oftenef
MEMPHIS
TO
W. O. ADAMS,
,TP. P. A.
NasbviUe, Te"1-
P. A., Chattanooga, Tenn.
P. and T. A., St Louis,
i -l
New York..
A.