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0 / 75
- '.:i.,.iv rv.'V ;
life Is oal jr to be valued its ft Is nscfaMy employed."
VOLUME II.-NUMBER 30. .
1 X lit I i -
Ill 111, llfcl 'I
PUBLISHED BVKRY FRIDAY MORXINO, BY
jr, if. ciimsxr & co.,
rMithtrt of thi Lawt, Treat, e., f ktU. S.
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, From the Magnolia.
The Chief of the White Feather;
, . v ..... A TALE OF FLOKIDAt
-.It wa on a clmumiror'8 evening in the
month of June, 1821, that a jouth might
have been seen lying at full length upon the
bank of the Coosa 'fiver, seemingly, "occu
pied by no pleasant thoughts. .His person
was rather tall, and moulded with the ut
most symctry : his complexion a dark
brown though retaining enough of the cop.
per color to mark his Indian descent, tor
hp was on of those half breeds who are so
quietly destroying the aboriginal eo
American Indians. His long black hair,
unlike that oPmoat' of his race, was of a
silky fineness, and (lusted in luxurious mass
es down his shoulders, His dress was sim
ple, consisting of a hunting shirt, leggins,
and moccasins, made of deer skunwhilea
white turban, sot jauntily upon his -head.
compieteu n is am re.' no wore no orns.
ment, save a medal of silver, which dang
led loosely round his neck. His countc
nanco was strictly ocjuiline, his mouth was
small, and when his lips parted, there fhight
l)e seen teeth equally sized, and of an ivory
whiteness; But the strongest marked fea
ture alrout him wns his wild, restl-ss eye,
which durina his musincs would sparkle
with a brilliancy that was beautiful, yet
startling to Dehold. ,
After some timo he civo vent to his
thoughts. 1 Never said ho, starting from
his reCumbent position, " no, I will no long
er stay, to be tho foot ball of men whose
spirits are subdued by the accursed, fire
water of the whites, andwlio, in their drunk-
en reYkpca-TTw4mtartr,nnd -deny-me'i
the privileges of the lowest warricfr, at a !
council, n dance or a ball plnjp. True it is,
I am not of puro, descent, but that is my
i4vsfortune, not my fault. Why "was I
Vv-wd from my father 1 Why was I not al
lowed to stay with him who would protect
ma T My mother -Oil ! my mother !" and
here the big tears coursed thick and fast
down his manly checks,'.' the Great Spir
it has tnken you irr kindness, nor allowed
you to witness the insult .heaped upon your
orphan boy. , Oh, Manito, thou who rulest
tho Heavens, arid; directest the actions' of
men, for good or evil, direct mo now ;
and here I swear, that should the changes
of life e'er bring mo in contact with the
"accursed "destroyers of Tour TaccT-with this
good arm I will avenge the wrongs of my
brethren.; Hear mo swear!1' A loud peal
of thunder broke abovo his head,- and the
forked lightning shivered into a thousand
pieces a . noble pine that stood nenrr but he
only smiled, and said " Manito hns heard
and approves my oath. ' ' Now, continued
ho, " one look at my mother's grave, and
then farewell my tribe forever." ,
" I will plunge into tho recesses of Flori.
da ;-rsurely here among the red men, are
thbso whose desire of revenge is not wasted
away, by this cursed instrument of destruc
tion, more fatal by far than the rifla of tho
hatchet." r .
Pulling his belt closer round his waist,
and seizing his rifle, with hasty strides, he
approached the-yil rage. Carefully-avoid-rng
the" wigwams and proceeding round the
outside of tbem, ho came to a smalt en
closure, which was a number of rude boards
placed by some relation, to mark the spot
- where rested the ashes of a loved one. . In
the fareornetof-thcr mclosurernragrone
which showed that more than ordinary care
had been bestowed upon its production.
1 he grave was newly i-fenccd round with
small pine rails, and the board, pai
white", showed in black letters
Nar-a-mat-tha, aged 38 yea ra. Not a weed
was to be seen wtthin jtlie enclosure, but
the tall grass waved mnjestically over the
' grave, while at the head bloomed a single
white rose. Upon this grave the youth pros.
trated himself in all tho abandonment of
grief, and for soma moments were heard
his stifled aobs and groans, which plainly
showed his heart-felt misery; " "
'! Vho now," said he,-'1 will tend your
grave Oh! tny mother? who will rpot
out the noxious weeds from your resting
place, and water the rose your orphan's af
fection has placed at your Jbcad?" After a
pause, during which his sobs : brokeforth
todsfrpng for utterance,he slowly raised
from the crave, and takin? a fond, farewell
look, turned away with these simple words
" Farewell and forever! I will avenge
your wroncs !" ,
Retracinc his steps to the villaee. he
cautiously entered one of the huts, and tak.
ing a wallet from a peg in the .wall, he fill
ed it with dried venison and parched corn
and slune it round his neck. Then reoleni
ishing his "powder flask, and taking his
hatchet from a corner beneath some skins
of bear and deer, he turned, ToMeftrths
As he was leaving the hut he encounter-
ed some of his brethren, who were return-
ing from town, whither they hod been to
sell skins and venison. They, wero nil In
ebriated,and seeing him they setup a loud
whoop, and'sprang toward him. ; tie en.
deavored to avoid their notice, but finding
that impossible, he turned and faced them.
They danced around him, and in an insult
ing manner held up their bottles, and calling
him bastard nnd white livered, bade him
drink with them. -. With a calm and friend,
ly voice he told them to leave, and not pro
voke him, for more'lliianone knew what his
temper was. But disregarding his words
they pressed round him, and one moro dar
ing than the rest, with fin insulting expres
sion towards his mother, laid his hand upon
him. With a sadden - start he-threw the
drunken savage to the ground, with such
Force that ho lay for some moments stunnea
and motionless. The fall had in some mca.
sure sobered him, and when he came to his
senses, quicker than thought, he sprang to
his fcci iihd drawing tils knife7threwliiiT).
self upon the youth, who had barely time to
drop his rifle, when he found himself in tho
grasp of his brawny opponent
But his quick eye had detected the design
and he was prepared, with one hand he
clutched his antagonist's throat, aud held
him off, while with the other, he endeavor,
ed to disarm him Disregarding the wounds
he was momentarily receiving, hie motive
seemed to troto conquer without harming
him. . Findin , this impossible, and seeing
but one way to save his own life, lie en
deavored to wound so us to disable his op.
poncnt. But as his knife pierced the side
of the savage, his foot slipped, and falling
forward, the knife entered to the haft, and
the drunken sot fell dead at his feet. The
other-Indians, (who hod till this moment
stoodbpassive, satisfied that their revenge
would bo gratified by the death of the youth
whose opponent was one of the most mus-
cular and bravest of the tribe,) when-thev
witnessed his fall, with a-shriek of rnge,
sprang toward the yoith, who hastily seiz
ed his rifle, and, with a whoop of defiance,
bounded away with an agility that baffled
the cllorts of his drunken pursuers. After
a short run, he relapsed into a walk, and
gave himselt up to reliection. T I was
wrong, said he, " to become a destroyer
of my own race, but Manito will forgivo
the unintonthnrat flcecf. I could have borne
their taunts upon myself, but the desecra.
tion of my mother's memory, and a Wow
Ne ver t'ThETeistoo rrrach-nf the red -war ¬
rior's blood flowing in my veins for that."
With this assurance, he pursued his way
slowly along in a southern direction once,
arid once only did he pause and look back,
from tho brow of n hill near the village, and
as his cyo rested upon the far corner of that
lone burial place, a deep nnu hitter Bign
came from the depths of his heart, and agnin
hs proceeded on his lonely way. .
We will now transport our reader to a
beautiful spot on tho border of the With-la.
coo.chce. It was a calm moonlight night,
and nought was heard save the song of tho
Whipporwill and the ominous hooting of
the Night-owl. Upon the bank sits one
who might be deemed the goddess of the
sccncT" Beautiful as a fairy ,' ivith a form of
which Venus might have been proud, was
the only daughter of the aged Chief of the
then small tribo of the Scminolcs,- Cha.
ra-tah , or the gentle fawn. ' She was ripen,
ing into wdmanhood,Tind a more beautiful
being ne'er struck mortal eye. As she sat
musing upon the pleasures of the coming
morrow, when therd was to be a grand trial
of skill in the Indian games, of which her
hand was the pnzo to be awarded, a footfall
was heard; she sprung Jo hcrfeet, and
with flashing eye confronted1 tTie intruder.
" Who is it," said the maiden in a haughty
tone, "that dares follow the daughter of
Ko-me-tah, and pry into her thoughts f
"Forgive me, maiden,1 in a low sweet
tone, said tho new comer; " l amastran
gcrThungry and wcaried--longrlong , has
been my journey and of a surety I knew
not that you were here." At the sound of
the voice,'8he dropped from her command
ing position, and at tho mention qfjhunger,
all trie woman rose in her soul. "Come
rftheTr-wwran , TUbe
who you may, this is no time for questions.
I will cive you food and a" resting place."
With th""? nMr'ht tofl wayaJe -
youth followed her for a shortspace through
tho grove. l hey then emerged into an
open place where the village was situated.
Not a light was to be seen, save now and
then a gleam from a drowsy watch-fire.
They crossed the square and entered a hut,
where, with her own hands, she set before
him food and drink, and as he satisfied the
cravings of hunger, bent upon him a look
of inauirv. which seemed to relapse into
tenderness. After he had finished his meal
she enquired "Of what nation are you?"
" A Crock," was tho reply. Ah ! has
the news of our grand tal reached you
also? nnd have you come sb far to match
yourself against the bravest and best of the
red men of Florida?" "I da not under,
stand your meaning," said- the youth.
" Does not my brother know that to-morrow
there is to be a trial of skill, and my
hand the prize to be given the , victor T"
" Manito, I thank thee,1' said the youth,
with a look of joy "and does the White
Swan thiok one so poor and lowly as J can
enter ? " It is opsn to all ," said the maid ;
" my dear father will surely let you try your
skill.. - Fof such a prize, thoucht the youth
to die in the attempt would be bliss, " Will
my brother try forth handjof Cha-ra-tah ?"
asked the nMu'den. :1 Yes, though the trial
should be led to death , wasthe reply. It
is well, Manito arospcr you," ejaculated the
maiden, and pointing to some skins where,
j on ho was to lie, she left him. to repose.
As she slowly moved to her own dwelling
she murmured to herself. ' He is comet
the ono I have seen in my dreams. . He Is
come ! The Great Spirit has guided here to
make his daughter happy. . He will succeed
and to-morrow's noon shall see me his
bride." She then retired to her couch.?
The form of tho youth hovered near her)
and her sleep was calm and peaceful. ;
": At dawn of day Cha-ra-tah rose, and
rousing the youth from his heavy si jmbers
she loathe way to her father's hut, and -on
entering, said, " here is a young warrio)
from the Creeks, who would fain contend
for the hand of Cha-ra-tah my father wjll
let himi"-ond-a,dvancing-tothetjld ma,
with a look of such sweetness that he could
deny her nothing, she put her arm about lis
neck and fondly kissed his check. , )
. "Come near me, youngwarrior," sold
the aged chief. "How many summers
fiSVessed'Ver'yQuread !" "? Scaite '
8ixte'en," was the reply. " And your A),
ther?" " Alas! he is one of that accursed
race who would drive us from our hunting
f rounds and the graves of. our ancestors,
le deceived my mother; and basely left
her. Some three moons since, she droop
ed and died. My tribe have nearly been
destroyed by the fire-water of the white
maDj nod tho brand of Lose horn has long
been set upon me. I bore it patiently whilo
my mother lived, for her sake, but when
she died, I had no tie to bind mo to them.
I swore to avenge her wrongs, and sought
for red men whose desire for liberty and
revenge had not been washed away by the
liquid poison of the while robber."
Tears rolled from the eyes of Ko-mc.
tali and his daughter, during his recital, and
when he had finished, the old man spoKe.
" Here be thy home, poor orphan ; thoa art
now my son. Thou shalt enter our games
and if successful the harid of Cha-ra-tah is
thine." The countenance of tho youth
lighted up with a glow of satisfaction, and
ho mentally promised himself the possession
of the Flower of the Forest. And Cha-ra.
tah too, what were her feelings ? a mixture
of hope and fear. Hope, that he whom she
loved might prove successful, and fear that
the superior strength of some of his., ao
tagntU wttght OYcrpowef Him."" 'She had
imbibed all tho superstitious ideas of the
aborigines, and often in her dreams had
seen the shadowy form of the youth, and
fromthC'fiTst momcntshe' sawjlovedJwnr
There was one among the young1 war
riors of the village whose prowess and dar.
ing had long been celebrated among his
own and neighboring tribcs7aud hismany
victories had gained him the name of Uh.
mat-lah or the Invincible. It was also
k no w n that he dca rly loved the Gentle Fa wn
and although many young warriors entered
it was more for the sake of the sport, than
the hope of carrying away the prize from
him. Oh-mat-lah was a largo muscular
yoQng man, somewhat older than our youth,
but unlike him, ho had never been tainted
with an association with the whitest 7 The
purestvof the royal Indian blood flowed
through his veins, and being from youth in
Qred tJ thc" wdodsTlind acquired a strength
and agility which none but those accustom
ed to it can ever attain. His form was
faultless, but his countenance bore a mo
rose and haughty look, which was not re
lieved by his wild, restless - eye A deep
scar extendsd fro n his left eye to his chin,
which ho had received in some encounter
with the foe, added to the rhilly sulliness of
his appearance. He had long and deeply
loved tho Fawn ; but a spirit so gentle could
have no satisfac'ton at tho prospect of a
union with one whose temperament was so
totally different from her own. Oh-mat-lah
knew tho maiden lorcd him not, and it was
with savage joy that lie heard the maiden's
hand was to be tho prize; for he judged
surely there was no one who could success. '
fully contend with him. M'Ycs,M- sBtd he;t
" this haughty beauty, who has so often re.
pulsed my ofTers, shall at last bo mine,
whether she will or no," and with this as
surance he had lain his head upon his rude
couch the night before, and dreamed of fu.
With the rise of tho sun began the asscm.
blago of old and young, and never was seen
a - - mgrriergatncjingiiinninnt riny prrsenirn
themselves atthe village of Jvo-me-la!
At length one of those rude horns made
from the conch, summoned the contending
parties to the b,ank of the river, where first
of all there was to be a swimming match.
One by one tho warriors took their places
upon the bank, each one resolving to do his
best, and more than one prayer ascended to
the Great Spirit for assistance in the contest
for the Fairest of the Fair.
At length Kometah appeared leading his
daughter to witness the sport. All eyes
were turned towards the stranger who ac
companied them. His appearance at once
bespokofor him a welcome. Oh-mat-lah
saw him, and fear instantly sprang up in
his heart. The youth proudly took his
place at the foot of the line, and with one
look at Cha-ra-tah, nerved himself for the
contest.' The conch again sounded, and
with a plunge, as of ono vast body, the whole
line disappeared beneath the waters. : One
by one they reappeared, all but Oh-mat-lah
and our hero, whose stay was so prolonged
that the spectators began to fear some acci
dent had happened to them. ' The heart of
Cha-ra-tah sunk within her. " She buried
her face , in her hands and wept. ' A shout
of jcy recalled her senses," ' and looking up
elie saw her lover and Oh-mat-lah had risen
nearly side by side, far ahead of all the
othersandeacli was straining every nervo
for victory. Now one, then the other would
shoot by the opposite shore' wajj( nearly
gained, nnd still Oh-mat-lah was foremost ;
when wih an effort almost miraculous,' the
youth shot by him and landed first on the
opposite bank. , A loud shout that echoed
and rang again and again through the woods
proclaimed his success, bnd Cha-ra-tah,
leaning her head upon her. father's shotil.
ders, wept for joy. But the 1&art of Oh.
mat-lah was big with vengeance. To be
benten in her eight, and by a 6t ranger and
a boy too, was too much, and when he rose
upon the bank, he was almost tempted to
throttle his frail antagonist upon the spot.
But his spirit failed him and he "contented
himself with saying, " This is but one trial,
I shall proverTictorintheresf, andthenfor
Cha-ra-tah and revenge!"
1 he parties rccrossed the river in canoes,
anci, joyous, and hearty was the reception
which awaited tlic victor, for young and old
envied Oh-mat-lah, and rejoiced to seo him
........... ... - - . t - h-
Dearen. i no youtu naa eyes ana ears tor
but one, and a smile from Cha-ra-tah did
more to nerve his heart, than all the noisy
congratulations of the rest. , The next trial
Was shooting the arrow
The target was placed at the distance of
one hundrod yards, and each silently took
his place, l hey were to slioot three arrows,
those nearest tho centre being victorious.
Shot after shot was made, but . none had
planted more than ono crrq u-itliin lhfi in.
ncrbinga Oh'-mat-lah's tuVh arr' and
prosily stepping into the ring, lie quickly,
dref his arrow from the quiver, and fixing
it tqthe bow-string, he prepared to slioot.
A casual observer would have pronounc
cd his demeanor as cool as if nothing was
at stikc. But a closer examination would
havt ,discovcrcil a restless wandering of the
eye, and a nervous trembling of thc-limba
unknown to the warrior before. It might
have been bate; time will show. Slowly
raising his bow to tho height, his eye ran
quickly along the arrow, and a sharp twnng
announced its flight. It was seen transfix,
cd trembling within the inner ring, about a
finger's breadth from the centre. Ilis sec-
ond was placed between his first and tho
centre, and his third also in the ring All
three might hava boan immwJ with a hand.
Holowly turned towards his opponent,
with a sardonic smile, which seemed to
imply, I am here conqueror at least. Not a
muscle of tho youth's features was discom
posed, but with a stately step lie took his
placc-tmd fixed-his -arrow;-"! lis yerthen
strayed to where the chief and his daughter
sat. One look was sufficient, for ho. knew
his own skill. Raising the bow to his eye,
he-took sight, and the affow"was quivering"
in tho centre spot. A loud shout proclaim
ed the interest tho crowd took in the young
stranger. A second arrow split the first
frgm heel to point. Another .and - a louder
shout proclaimed the joy of the multitude.
Ilis third and last struck scarcc.lialf a fin
gcr's breadth from tho others, and again the
welkin rung with shouts of the children of
tho Forest. Oh-mat-luh stood trembling
with rage. At first ho thought to fly the
detested place forever ; but should he, the
pride of his trijw, allow to
and' by a boy, before the contest was but
half finished ? No.
" At least,' said he, ' I am the strongest
andean outrun, or in the wrestling despatch
him." But his star was at its zenith, and
the Great Spirit had senr a champion to
save Chara-tAh from n life of sorrow.
Such was the joy of the spectators that it
was with difficulty the youth could extricate
himself from the crowd who closed round
him, -ach anxious to grasp the hand of the
strange victor. Tim conch now sounded
for tho running match. The ground pre
pan .! for the match was of an-ovnl shape,
nicked by blazing the trees. The youth
Sfiwd his chance and ran slowly round the
course to ascertain the advantages of the
ground. Tlte distance to lie run was twice
rotfh t (tic Coti reTlicre we re bur fbu ir of
all the warriors who started; these were
Oh.mat-Iah, Ob-Ii-go-so, Chi-o-gcc and our
hero. .:. ?.-.
The signal was given by Cha-la-lah, and
they bounded of? like arrows from the bow.
Oli-mat-lah took. tho lead, followed closely
by the other two, our hero bringing up the
rear. Tho first round bad almost been ac.
compliahcd, and as yet bur-hero had not
neared the rest- As they passed the place
where sat the chief and his daughtcra
smile of malicious joyTpvcrspread hc coUn
tcnance of Oh-mat-lah, as he looked over
bis shoulder and aw the distance the vouth
was behind. But his joy was short-lived ;
a look of despair from Cha-ra-tah seemed
to rouse our hero? and with a bound like
the stricken deer, he passed the two hinder
most, arid .ranged up with Oh-maLlah
Now came the tug of war. Now one,now
the other, shot ahead ; thrcc-fourths ofjhe
course was passed ; yet neither had the ad
vantage now less than twenty yards were
to be run, and every nerve was strained,
and as they passed the stand the noble form
of our youth was seen a clear yard ahead
of bis opponent. The ground shook with
the acclamations of the crowd, and the vic
tor of three triafs again appeared to receive
a smile from Cha-ra-tah. Now indeed was
tho chance of Oh-mat-lah almost gone ) his
spirit was almost subdued, and the desire
for revenge almost overpowered the wish
for the hand of Cha-ra-tah. He entered,
it is true, upon the wrestjing match, but it
was only with the hope that by some lucky
chance he might take the life of the youth,
and, thus being second in all be might yet
claim the prize. Revenge was . the motive
that actuated him. V-- '
- . . -...
' After a pausQ,,lo allow the combatants fo
rest and regain their wind, the 'signal was
given lor tie wrestlers, liv the Indian
rule, any hold is allowed, save the tnroat
ond hair, so that no undue advantage is
given to the large over the small man,
Twelve warriors appeared for the match.
The sport went on with varied interest, till
but Ob-Ii-go-so, Oh-mat-lah, and our hero
were left. Ob-li-go.so threw his gage, ond
Uh-mat-lah, with Indian cunning, pretend
ed to lace his moccosons, so that our youth
was obliged to toke the gage. : This he did
to save his own wind, as whoever was the
victor was obliged to wrestle with hiin.
1 he youth slept bhthly into thenng,and
but a few seconds elapsed when the gigantic
Ob-Ii.go-so measured his length on the
ground. A shado might have been "seen to
cross the brow of Oh-mat-lah, but he sprung
quickly into tho ring nnd confronted the
youthful victor. A short but severe strug
gle ensued, when Oh-mat-lah Seized him
with, a grip of iron hy the throat,, and for 4
moment the life of the youth seemed in jeo
pardy. A groan of horror broke from the
crowd, nnd more than one young warrior
leaped the palings to rescue him, for nil
Eerccived the base purpose of Oh-mat-lah.
!ut with the strength f despair, the youth
tore himself from his grasp, the blood
streaming down his lacceratcd neck, and,
with a mighty effort , threw him to the
ground, with such force that he lay stunned,
nj ularinaLi font Jinoa his neck, nirncd
to the crowd witu a Took winch seemed 10
"What is your will?". "Kill kill
the coward ! . burst - simultaneously-Tfrom
every lip. But gently taking his foot from
his prostrate foe, who had now recovered,
ho raised him, and led him passive to where
the Chief sat, and without a word released
him, and retired. ..-
" Begone, coward !" were tho words of
Ivo.me-lah, whose eyes sparkled as of old,
when he spoke, " never more show your
face in my tribe. I disown you and may
tho Great Spirit deal more mercifully with
you than you would have done with yon
stranger youth." Without a lojk or a
word, Oh-mat-lali shrunk away, and left
that peaeuul villagorand retired far away
South, among the everglades. Ko-me-tah
then, turning to the youth, said," Young
stranger, receive the reward of your prowess
become the chief of oiit tribe: and the
hand of Cha-ra-tah is thine." With these
words, he. placed a white feather in the
youth's turban, while tho plaudits of the as-semblngB-gaTe-pmofrif
in this act of Krf-mc-taty The youth was
adopted their War Chief: and in after
years, when the warbroke Quttetween the-ia
Whites and his tribe, how well he kept his
oath, tilt by n stratagem he wns entrapped,
the world will bear witness, for who has not
THE CHIEF OF THE WHITE FEATHER ?
A Lawver ottwitted. ... Several years
ago, a. young gentlemen went to consult a
certain attorney how he might carrv off an
heiress. Vim rnnnnt An it uriih snfolv "
you may do let her mount a horse and
hold a bridle ond whip ; do you then mount
behind her, and you are safe for she runs
awaywith you." Thr counsellor, however,
was sufficiently punished for his quibbling
advice, when next day he found that it was
his own daughter who had run away with
" That is all I get." Two neighbors
met, ono of whom was exceedingly rich,
and the latter in moderate circumstances.
The latter began to congratulate tho first on
his grunt possessions, and nn the happiness
which he must enjoy, and ended by con.
trastingit with his own condition." " My
friend," said the rich man, " let mc ask
you one question : would you bo willing to
take my propcrtrnndtnkeTtie whole cn re of
it for vour board and clothing?" "No,
indeed!" -" Well, that is all I get.'f"
Why is a young lover popping the ques.
tion like a tailor running a hot goose overa
suit of clothes ? We knew you'd guess it.
Because he is pressing a suit !
( The Tyes of the Idle' man are apt to look
into ftneighbors ; pockets for bo who will
not live by honest industry, will be ready
to supply himself by other men's means,
New words. The coinage of new words
is 4y no means confined to our new and
go-ahead country: In the recent debates
in the British Parliament, Sir Robert Peel
expressed a doubt " whether freo trade in
corn would produce a great fixity in price ;'
and Lord John Russell spoke of thu " final
ity" of certain propositions touching the
corn laws. The word " lengthy" also is
not of unfrequent use by tlic English deba.
ters ajid the London press."
Oh, Cupid, don't yon know
Yoa oujfht to have a lickin "
For plaguing little children wn,
Andour arrows ia them stickin'.
. Ajotsisg fastixb. May I get married,
ma ?' said a nice, plump girl of fifteen to her
mother, the other morning. .
" ' Married ' exclaimed the astonished ma
tron, 'what put such anidea into" your
head?' ' -..,'" 'J .
1 Little Sally, here, has never'secn a
wedding, and I'd like to amuse the child,'
replied the obliging sister with fascinating
naitetie.' ."' ' ' ' '
Z: :.;..Mattert of course. :Zu,.
There are certain things in this world,
which ho vo so uniformly turned out in ' the
samo way, that noboJy dreams of their re
sulting in any" other whjv In abort, they
are set down s ". matters of course,"
i. e, events have always happenedfrom the"
same cause, or attended by the, Aame cir
cumstances, or produce the tame effects. ,
For example : ' . ., . . " . . ' ; '.' ' .'
When a bank suspends specie payments
It is always done for the "public good, as a
matter of courses i ;' ; "
If the said bank becomes irretrievably
insolvent, and is forced to , liquidate iu af
fairs, the dii-cctor8 publish card stating
that the asts are amply sufficient to pay
every thing, os n matter of course. ; "
Peoplo who put any degree of confidence
in such statements are always deceived and
disappointed, as a matter of course. : .- t j-
Vhcn a hian commits eunurder or a for-: '
gery, or runs away with his neighbor's wife,
nnd is detected undlried jie is proved to bo
insnne, as a matter of course. V " . v"' ",
When a firo occurs, whether it proves
destructive of property or not, it is the work
of an incendiary, as a matter of course.
W lien a man is detected in acme act of
unmitigated rascality, which must destroy
his reputation forever, he requests the pub. ,
lie to ' suspend tlmir opinion,' as a mattor
of course. . . ' . : .
When such information comes, if at all,
mSScri'rifof'g lvJlrt eAr
When a young ladv has had five or six
offrtrs-of f nn rr i o ge j a trd ha v ingrejected
them all, finds herself turning the first
corner,' with a small chance for the future,
she is generally satisfied I hat good husbands
are uot always coming along, as a matter
of course. . - -:
Vhen a quack medicine is invented, it is
tremendously puffed, as a matter of course.
But every body who believes one half
that is stated of its wonderful virtues, gets
cgrcgiously humbugged, as a matter of
When a man becomes debased, cheats
his neighbor, gels drunk,, gambles, flogs
his wife, and ' turns up Jack,' if rich, he is
a gentleman, us a matter of course. .
When a man is compelled to work for a
living, though honest, virtuous and intelli
gent, he is deemed by the rich unworthy of
their society, as a matter of course. - -
.When a distinguished politician has
been loaded with abuse, and denounced as
a party, if ho uirns-a summer-sct and'ioins
his enemies! they forthwith pronounce him
statesman, and praise him up," as arinat,
tor of couf so."
When he deserts them, however, he ne
ver was a statesman, as a matter of course.
When a man steals" a hundred thousand
dollars oh ! it would be cruel to slash
the prntlcman, as a matter of course. --
When a woman, whose face is a scare,
crow, accidentally inherits a fortune Oh,
she's a beauty, as a matter of course.
" Every man of intelligence and common"
spnse "ts a subscriber to a newspaper, and if
he is honest he pays his subscription punc-
tua!!yTa a tnatter of jCoursc.r ,1. . '
- Distr Aimjto for 'Rent.' M Speaking of
Turkey," we heard an extensive tale yes.
terday. It was told us by the doctor. : A
man up town on going to dinner a day or
iwo ngOjfound a magnificent turkey, weigh
ing fifteen or twenty pounds, smoking hot
on the table. As he smacked ins lips in
anticipation of his pleasure, lie happened to
recollect that he had himself purchased
pair of ducks in market that morning,-and
brgan to wonder how they became trans
formed into the dish before him. ' ;
" lien," said he to the. boy waiting upon
him, " where the devil did this turkey come
from ?" - r ,
" Why.sar, replied Ben," dat ar turkey .
is Ui n roostjn' pn bur, fence' dm tree night.
and (lis mornin' I seize lum for de r(nt ob
de fence J" r
A great negro that I - We have a shrewd
suspicion that he understands the laws ot
Turkey much better than his master, . r
A ccntleman remarkable for having a
great deal of lead jo his forehead, called one
morning on a law
yer, who asked him wbat-
" Vrhy,' said he, ' tiTont know, my head
r 111. . J" 1 . -1
is contounoeuiy out oi oruer mis mom
ing.' ' - . "
' That is extraordinary news, indeed,'
said the lawyer. . . . -
What, an extraordinary thing lor a man
to have the headache !' ' T
'No sir. said he; I do not say that, but
for so simple a machine to le out of order is
extraordinary indeed." , ' - .
The scrERioRiTY of wealth. A rich.
upstart collector of the revenue, once asked
a poor but witty person, If he had any idea
what kind of j thing opulence was. ' t Is
a thing,'.' replied the man, which can gif
a rogue mo auvuniago over sa wmk
man." . ' V. ' '
" I have been to Uie tailors sliop, mam-
ma. Vhat oreaotul smart leiiows tbem
tailors must be." - T
" What makes yon think so, child t" ,
" Oh ! because they have worked the tops l
of their thimbles all off 4
1 Scexe a boarding houso." ; Dick to the
landlord 14 Mr. W., .have you a piece of
stealc there that is rare!" Landlord
" Yes, sir, we havp a very good tk to. ,
day." Dick" Well, that s rare enough !"
" ' if '