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0 / 75
vol. nr. NUMBER 4.
ASHEVILLE, :N. G , AUGUST' 5, 1842.
WHOLE NUMBER 108.
TJILNTED AXD PUBLISHED WEEKLY
BY J. II. CHRISTY & CO,
Publithcr of the Lau of the United State.
T,it reinor i pnWiflicd t Two Doixam a year,
jn Jdva..cc-Tw Dollar, and Fifty Cent, in
nil Hionihi on Three Dollari at tlie end of the
year. (S prospectus.)
Advcrtiscnirnti inserted at One Dollar per iqtiare
for the first, ncL-1 roniy.t ive a rua lor cacu
continuance. Court Order will bo charged
twenty-five per cenL extra.
'lAWS OF THE IL STATES,"
Paitfdal the secondSession of the Nth Congress.
Publjc No. 22.
aV ATT to amend an act entitled " An act to
cirry into effect, in tho State of Alabama and
Mississippi, the existing compact with those
routes with regard to the five per cent fund and
the school rcscrYslions."
Jit ii enacted by the Senate ani Hon of Re.
yrfrntutinet of the United State of America in
Congrfu Attemlited, That so much of tho second
faction of the act entitled " An act to carry into
(fleet, in the States of Alabama and Mississippi,
the existing compacts with those State in regard
to the five per cs,t. fund and tho school xescrra
hoM," as r;iiros the land therein designated as
reserved to tho Slate of Mississippi for tho use of
folwols, to bo selected, uuder the direction of tho
Secretary of the Treasury, "out of any public
lands remaining unsold that shutl have been of.
fcrod at public sale within cither of tlie land dis
tricts ii ijid Nlntc of Mississijipi, contiguous to
aid lavfis, witJiin suid State," ceded by the Chick.
uawp, bo so amended that the said lands may be
under the direction of the Governor of said State
if .Mississippi, out of any public lands remaining
unsold within cither of tho land districts in said
(State of Mississippi contiguous to the land in said
fStalo ceded by the Chickasaw Indians.
WILLIE V. MANGUM,
President of the Senate pro tempore.
Sjietler of theHofseof Representative.
proved, Juno 1, If 1.
Approved, Juno 13, 1812.
Putlic No. 23.
AN ACT authorizing the county commissioners
of take county, Illinois, to enter a quarter sec
tiim of land for a scat of jnstfco in said county.
lie. it enacted by the Senate and Honse of Re.
jiretmlaleret of the United Slateg of America in
fonzvei A nembled, That upon proof being made
In ilia Secretary of tho Treasury of the payment
i.f tlie minimum price per aero by the county of
Like, in (he Mate of. Illinois, to the United states,
rbr the southenst quarter of section twenty.onc,
!n township forty-five north, of rangd twelve,
rnstcf the third principal meridian, upon which
llie county scat of caid county is lm:aled, it shall
It l-rwfW for tho President of tho United States
to cause a patent for said land to be issuer! to said
county, in lieu and in full satisfaction of the claim
of raid raronty to enter ono quarter section of
l.itid in virtue of the act of the twenty-sixth of
Mav, one thousand eight hundred and twenty,
four, entitled " An act granting to tho counties
parishes of each State and Terrritory of the
United Slates in which the public Inndsaro situa
ted, the rijjht of pre-crution to quarter sections of
land for seats of justice within the same." Pro.
ridru, said county shall relinquish, in such form
-s th SHretry- f th-TrcKury shall pwscribo,
all rianu whatever to the northeast quarter of sec
tion twenty-one, township forty-four, range eleven
cast, lying in said county, and which tract was
tirst selected by said county for tho iiso of tho
county neat for said county in virtuo of tho pro
.wsionsof (lit act aforesaid.
Apuroved, Juno 12, If 12.
Pbblic No. 24.
AN ACT for the apportionment of Representa
tive amung tho several States according to tho
1irtt-mtieted by ther Se note and limine of Re-
prrsntBtirre of the United Stuff of America in
Conarrits asumhled, That from and after the third
day nf March, one thousand eight hundred and
"forty-three, the House of Representatives shall be
inKriLiiInicmbcra elected agrccablyio a ratio,
of one Representative for every seventy thousand
six hundred and eighty persons in each Stntc, and
of one additional Representative for each State
bavin; a fraction greater than ono moiety of tho
4d-ralHj e.iminited a ccordinwHo the rule pre.-)
'er Dert hv tho t,onsti1utionor the United States;
tint w to ray : Within the State of Maine, seven ;
5V!i!n;iihr State nf New Hampshire, four ; with
in tin! State of Masrnchtisrtts, ten J within the
State of Rhode Inland, two ; within the State of
iinn-eiient, four ; within tho Slate of Vermont,
trnir ; within tho State of New Yoyk, thirty-foiir ;
w uliin the Stale of New Jersey, five ; within the
tiftc of Pennsylvania, twenty-four; within the
State of 1 klaware, one ; within the Stito of Ma
nbnrl, ix; within tho S'tatoof Virgin in, fifteen ;
within the State of North Carolina, nine ; within
the iiUWof South Carolina, seven ; within tho
tite of Georgia, eitrht : within the State of Ala.
liam-i, seven ; within the State of Louisiana, four J
vitluu tho Slate of Mississippi, four; wjlhin tho
stale of Tennessee, eleven ; within the State of
hmtucky, ten ; within tho State of Ohio, twenty,
one ; within the State of Indiana, ten ; within
the Ktntc of Illinois, seven ; within the State of
Miwoiin, five ; within the State jV Arkansas,
one; and within the Statcot ilieliiirnn. thnen.
'Be?. 2, And he it further cnacleS.H'Xitil in nvV
ese fthcre a State is entitled to more than one
K prepentative, the number-to which each State
shall lie tntiRed under this apportionment shall
be rlected by districts composed of it contiguous
t'-rnt'iry eqijal in number of Representatives to
which, said sfatc may bo entitled, no one district
fcting more than ono Representative.
Ai'i'roved. June .", 18-U?.
Public N. 21. -
AN ACT to provide for tho settlement of the
risnnf tiic Slate of Maine for the scrvico of
J'" t rn.irtfd Ay the Senate and Hons" of R,:
;- "i).i.-.',rc the United States of America in
J 'urirwmW, (f, That the Secretary of War
I, and h is hereby, authorised and directed to
to be rt'imhursed and paid to the Statu of
U;rtc, on the order of tho Governor of said
ytf , out of any money not otherwise, appropri.
I J - amounts as tho Paymaster.. General of
I ",k'd 'Vtateti army and accounting officers of
1 r59 Treasury shall ascertain and certify would
Tt been due from the United States to tho mili-
Mil into tho scrvico of the Stato in the year
Ctm hundred jmd thirty.nine, for the protoc.
J000' her northeastern frontier, by the Governor,
' mihtia had been duly called into the ser
fe n the United States, and regularly recciv.
d mustered by the officers, of tho United
-kK&rmyi according to tho laws and rcgcla.
.i:eh have governed in the payment of the
aai!w aad w;iii,0 olllc, State. And tho
Paymaster General and accounting officers of the
Treasury are hereby a uthoriied and required to
include the following claims, presented by said
State, Til i
First. The cost of cannon balls and knapsacks
purchased by the "State, for troopa culled into ser
vice, and for the defence of the frontier aforesaid :
Provided, That said balls and knapsacks shall be
long to the United States. '
Second, lite amount paid by the Staru for
transportation of military stores and of her troopa
in actual service as aforesaid ; Provided, That
amount should, in tho opinion of the Secretary of
War, appear to be reasonable.
Third. The pay or compensation allowed by
the Stato to tho Paymaster and Commissary Ge
neral, and other staff officers, whilo they were ro.
ppectivcly employed in making or superintending
disbursements for tho militia in actual service as
aforesaid ; Prodded, The compensation paid by
tho State, as aforesaid, shall not eiceod that paid
by the United States, for similar services.
Fourth. The sum paid by the State for blank
ets for the use of her militia whilo in actual ser
vice as aforosaid, or so much thereof as shall ap
Fifth. Tho amount of expenditures by said
Stato in neecssary repairs of arms used by the
militia while in actual service as aforesaid.
Provided, That the accounts of the agent em.
ployed by the Stato of Maine to make said pay.
nicnts be submitted to the Paymaster General and
the accounting officers for their inspection.
Approved, Juno 1J, 1842.
The philosophy of jTlarriagc.
LINK THE FIRST.
Marringc, under any circumstances, is a
very ticklish nlTuir.
When tho contracting parties do not 'hit
their horses," they frequently hit each
other, and then it is a most disngrceahlo af
fair. When they do harmonize, nnj ono is
tho echo the veritable reflection of the
other's thoughts, smiles, and feelings an
ticipating every whim and desire, it is a
very pleasant affair.
When a " happy couplo" display their
aflection by pats and taps, and little pinch
es before company it is a very ridiculous
When the Lusband throws out aggravat
ing insinuations, and the excited spouse,
like Xantippo of old, throws a tea pot at
her lord and master's head, it is a horrible
Wh.cn the lady rules the roast and wears
the inexpressible look of tyrannical com
mand, and the gentleman tacitly yields to
her usurping and unnatural sway it is a
When tho husband is not content with
the sweets of the flower he has culled, but
flics abroad, and like the " little busy bee,"
goes sipping and "gathering honey" from
" every opening flower," it is a lamcnta.
Where the lady, forgetful of her vows
of constancy and love, ' bolts," with a pair
of black whiskers, and diUo military boots
it isa very naughty affair.
Faking nil these reflections into consid-
e ration , it fntist l nconteslibly appear that
marringc is a very serious aflair. And, as
marriages arc said to bo made in Heaven,
we should advise every candidate not to tie
tho knot before he obtains a duly authenti
cated certificate of the original contract !
LINK THE SECOND.
Tho 6cience of boxing is peculiarly Eng
lish ; and would appear to have an inlluenco
even upon the softer sex; for no sooner
iocs a suitor " show fight than the lady
and -Tier Tchtivcs -siTiroitaTicouFly demand
a ring! a ring! Alcrey on the poor
fellow who engages with his fair antago-
Jfr blindod ty passion, - ho rushes heed
lessly to the encounter, lie may run a risk
of getting his head " in chancery," or his
" nob" may suffer from the fair one's dex
terity in " fibbing" or his- breadbasket"
may bo punisjiud, and, elegant andaccom
plislied though she be, he will find that even
the best bread is not unleavened.
LINK THE TIIIKD.
A tyrant is detestable; but that yielding
piece ol clay called a " soil husband, is
uiny ridiculous, lie has frequently to boast
tho honor of having been wooed by the
lady before marriage, and invariably ruled
by her afterwards. lie generally falls to
the lot of a shrew not being naturally
shrewd enough to avoid tho insidious pit
fall cunningly set to entrap him.
Tho only merit he has is that of the cha
mclcon ; taking kindly 'ho color of surround
ing objects, and yielding unmurmuringly to
the domineering liclatress (fho rules his
-dcsiinvr aa.a. writing master rules a copy
book, in straight lines or aslant ; and he
has to form his J lettcrsceording1yr and
above all, to mind his p's and qs.
If the ' happy, happy, happy pair,' are
going out to a party, he is literally worried.
" Now, Peter," cries the lady, impatient
ly, from the parlor 'door, her sweet voice
ascending tho stairs to his dressing-room,
"what aro you dwadling about ? Here
have I been waiting for you this quarter of
Poor Peter, flurrjed, grasp3 both his white
kid gloves in his red right hand, and rushes
to her presence.
"Here I am, dear, right as a trivet,"
says he good humorcdly.
. . " I beg, sir, you will not use such vulgar
kitchen phrases in my presence;" exclaims
his y. dear,11 who has been practising pro
ricty, and endeavoring to put on her best
manners with her best clothes ; " but it's
of no uso talking ; there's no rriaking a silt
purse out of a sow's ear. Come, let me
lpok at you." -.
Pttcr.instantly stands before her in his
bran new blue coat, with gilt buttons, ex.
tending his arms with all the graces of a
clothes-horse, his head bolf upright.
Sho regards him from ton to too with tho
glance of a drill-sergeant, ..In the name of
goodness ! what have you crumpled op your
gloves in uiui laaniou iur I
" J hadn't timo,, dearj to put my fiat in
'cm, you were in such a dovr uch a hurry ,
that really" V v '
" Don't talk to mo 1" interrupted the lady
snappishly. " But well. I do tblnlt you
are enough to make a clergyman execrate!"
and, darting fgxwarg nqr, handshQ belies
hold of the tio or rosette of.Jiis white cra
vat, and nearly throttles him in tho endea
vor to snatch it from his heck'. : " Was
ever woman so plagued and pestered !
Peter you are a fool J Why 1 1 declare you
havo fumbled and tumbled your cravat about
till it's dirty, and tied it bo clumsily that it
looks like an old towel about your neck.
Don't speak don't answer me j but take
tho keys and fetcli a clean ono out of the
top.drawcr, and mind, don't root the things
about like a pig in a turnip-field. Wei! ! I
suppose we shall bo ready to go by the
time the company aro coming away. X You
dolt, you, you've put mo quite in a fever
with your stupidity ; and really, (turning
to tho mirror) if I nint tis red as a roost
cock. .;. -v ; - ; ..
Peter scuttles away upon his errand, with
a flja in his car, without daring to uttor a
word, and quickly returns with the cravat.
"Sit down on tho sofa, do P' says the
amiable creature (a dumpy woman !) and
then proceeds to tio it on to her liking
although not nt, all to his, for sho almost
strangles him in attempting to executo her
task with smartness and dexterity. " I o.
ter, Peter, you are o helpless .animal a
perfect disgrace to mo. . Now, don't utter
a syllable, but put theso shoes tn your pock
ct, and this cup in tho other, and take my
music under your arm, and and here,
carry my cloak, and take enra you don't
drag it on the ground. Well, now I sup.
poso we shall be oil at last. j Uomo : come
And away she walks with the obsoquious
henpecked Peter, at her heels.
LtJCK TIIK FOURTH. - - .
Similarity of disposition docs not always
constitute a hnppy marriage. As in a duet,
they may accord beautifully although they
sing different miles. But here the simile
ends, or is at fault ; for the husband should
invnriubly take the lady's part !
Disparity of age is not a necessary bar
to domestic felicity. A man of forty may
make a wifo of twenty extremely happy.
When Plutus presides ut the "nuptials in
stead of Cupid, the "match" frequently
proves a " lucifcr," ul iha least frictiou
sometimcspToduces arr cxptosi in lhwris
anything but harmonious or agreeable -
Old women who set themselves up for
judges quaintly observe
Happy's tho wooing . . ' ' -That's
not long a doing.
Wo are of a different opinion. Lovo
may sometimes cool a little in a protracted
courtship, and gradually assume tho milder
symptoms of a confirmed friendship; but
as in the decoction of roots, a slow simmer
is more likely to draw out the virtues than
a. rapid boil. ' "
Jn the purchase of a watch, a trial is al
lowed : and surely in the choice of a wife
some timo and consideration ought to be
permitted ; for, after all, breach of prom
isc of marriage is n better alternativo than
a. divorce 'ilio.jQiiajs.only.probablai.lbQ
other difficult, and frequently impractica
ble. : -
-LIN'IC THE FIFTH. -
Marriage is like a silk purse -most
agreeable to bear when there is plenty of
money in it. .
Marriage is like a mouso trap : once
get into iir and you arc .caught Jvithoutihe
least prospect of recovering your liberty."
Marriage is like a " roso tree in tho full
bearing." I low atrractivc are its flowers !
Hut the bright leaves fall after a season,
and the thorns alone rcmaim.
Marringc among fools, is like a boiled
calf's head without the accompanymout of
brains. . .'
Marringc is like a roast iog or mutton on
Sunday served up cold on Mondayditto,
with pickles, on Tuesday and hashed up
on Wednesday. .
Marriage is the sunshine of life ; beneath
its genial influence spring up tho best affec
tions and the noblest virtues of man, which
in the sterility--of-se4fish CttHibaty - w
have lain dormant and useless. I t-4Hhe
sourceofvirtuous pleasure in youth the
balm nnd solace of old age. . ; .
for, as Solomon truly saysV". Sho openetft
her mouth with wisdom, and in iter tongue
is the law of kindness; she lookcth well
to the way of her husband, nnd eateth not
the bread of idleness her children rise up
and call her blessed; her husband also,
nr"t he praiseth her." ' , .-.j
M-jrrrJage By jingo ! hero comes my
a'ljtub'o wifo 1 mum ! Ahem t
WllUr M2KTL at St. Lons. Tits
Whigs of St. Louis (Mo.) held a meeting
on the evening of tho 0th instl'- ThcreVas
a great turn out. f zla spirit which pre.
vailed the Missouri ilcpublicansays: " The
zeal and enthusiasm evinced forcibly re. j
minueu us oi me spiru wiuun pt-rvuuiaj tire
community generally prior to tho election
of Gen. Harrison. Every ono appeared
fired with. the determination to enter the
contest witlTcarnestncss, And fight out the
battlo without faltering." Mr. Clat was
nominated for the Presidency. NaL Int. '
Tlicrc aro no solid rocks in the Arctic
regions, owing to tho severe frosts.
Ta tho nuiumo of 1825, somo private af.
fairi rallurt mo into tho sister kingdom ;
and p-1 d'd, po.t travct, like Polyphomjus,
wiik tuyycs out, I gathorcd a few nm.
pics of 1 1 inh, character, among which was
tho following incident J . ' . "
1 was standing one morning at the win.
daw. of mine Inn," when my attention
was attracted by. a scene ihattook jlace
beneath. . The Delist coach was. standing
at tho door, ond on the roof," in the front,
was an outside passenger, a fineyoung fef.
low in uniform of tho Connaught Rangers.
Below, by tho front wheel, stoodTih oTdl
woman Bccmingly his mother, a young man
and n younger woman, sister or sweetheart ;
and they, wcro earnestly entreating tho
young soldier to descend from bia scat on
"Como down wid ye," Thady1' tho
Bpcaker was the old woman come down
now to your ould mother suro Us flog yo
thoy.will, and strip the flesh off the bones I
give yo. Corrio down, Thady darlin I"
l " it's honor, mother,1' was the short re.
ply of the soldier j nod with clenched hands
and set teeth ho took a stifler posturo on
the coach. .
Thady coma down como down yo
fool of ilia world como along down wIJ
ye!" The tone of tho present appeal was
moro impatient and peremptory than tho
last ; nnd tho answer was moro promptly
and sternly pronounced j ' It's honor bro
ther !" nnd the body of tho speaker rose
more ripidly erect than ever on the roof.
"0 Thady, come down! sure its mc,
your only Kathleen, that bids j'e ! Come
down, of yell break tho luart of mo.
Thady, jewel ; como dowp then I The
poor girl wrung her hands as she said it,
and cust a look upward that had a visible
cfT':f on tho muscles of tho soldier's coun
tcnanqo. Thero was moro tenderness in
his tone, but it conveyed tho sumo rc3olu-
tion as before. - ' ;
"It's honor, honor-bright Kathleen! -
and as If to defend himself from another
glance, ho fixed his look steadfastly in front,
whilo the renewed entreaties burst from all
three in chorus, with thosasio answer. .
" Come down, Thady, honey! Thady,
ye foole, como down ! O Thady, coir.e
down to mo !"
" It's honor, mother! It's honor brother!
Honor bright, my own Kathleen!'
Although tho poor fellow was a private,
this appeal was so public thnt I did nol hesi
tate to go down and inquire into th&partic
ulars of tho distress. It appeared that ho
raadtiBcrrliomrroTr fOTlcraghtrrvrsit hit farm
ily, and having exceeded, as ho thought,
tho term Of his leave, ho was going to re
join his regiment, and to undergo the pen
alty of his neglect. I asked him when tho
furlough expired? .
" llie first of March, your honor bad
luck to it of all tho black days in the world
and hero it is, come suddenly on mc,
" The first of March ! why my good
follow, you have a day to spare then the
first of March will not be hero till to-morrow.
It u Leap Year, and February has
The soldier was thunder-struck Twcn-
ty..nino days is it ? you'ro sartin of that
?.ame T Oh, . my mother, mother ! tlie
xle vitlly :iuzay: j?ldyer oulAalmanitcJfcrrA
basecruturo of a book to bedeceaven one,
nfthor living so long in tho family of us !"
Ilia first 4mpuIso was to cut a enper on
tliejopJLpLvh-epach atidjhra LvvLup hk Sin p
with a loud hurrah ! His second was to
throw Himself into the arms of his Kath
leen; and the third was to wring my hand
' It's a hnppv man I am, vour honor for
my word's saved, nnd all by your honor's
manc3. ' Long life to your honor for the
Asr s. it
same! iay yc live a long nunareu and
Jape years every one of them."
Pithy Logic If there be any man who
opposes tho cause of temperance from con
scientiotls motives, f will ask Mm, and I
will endeavor to convince him of hiauror ;
I'will bringffiiri to a garret in a loathsome
lanc dnd I wiU show him a corner where 1
and my wifo and family nscd to fie on a
ward of straw, almost naked, without food
or fire for days ; and then I will lead him
icctablentrect, and on arriving at
the drawing room, I will show, him a well
dressed female and two children, fat and
healthy, surrounded by all that can produfe
htfmaa happiness, and I will tell him that
theso were tho people who lived imFo gnr-
ret I showed bttn:"tectotalism took them by
thclmndand brought them here; and would
you advise them to go' back again?
Tlie New Orleans Picayune contains a
list of thirty-fivo of those who perished in the
Santa Fe expedition whfch is ns complete a
list ns could be gathered, ana is believed to
be very nearly correct. Of tiws number
16 were shot bv the Indians on Ihd route ;
0, wero shot by order of Mexican officers i
I 'hod his brains knocked out by order; a
were sliot accidentally ; 1 died of fatigue.
and 10 died of disease principally of small
The venerable; Noah Webster delivered
a discourse at Amherst on July 4th, upon
the history of political parties since the
commencement of tho Government
. Hon. Philander Stephens j formerly a
member of Congress, died at Springfield,
Susquehanna counfycnrnylvania, oa tho
8lh, ogfcdW years. NaL Si.'
The Furious!- An
,(.: , dote
; Tbe coatradlctorf couple.
i I do believe he said, taking the spoon
out of his glass and tossing it on the tablo,
' that of all the obstinate, positive wrong
headed creatures that ever was Jxjrn, you
pro thq most so, Charlotte." .
' Certainly, certainly, , have It your own
way, pray. You ee bow much I contra,
kict you,' rejoined tho lady. ; J V7 w
. , Of course, you did'at contradict mc at
diancr-timci oh, no! not you I says the
gentleman. 5 ' Yos, I did, says tho lady.
; a ' Oh you did t cries the gentleman j 'you
admit that P. '
;1 If you ca that contradiction, I do, the
lady answers ; and I say again, Edward,
that when you aro wrong I will contradict
you ; I itm not your slave.', ' .
'Not my slave P repeats tho gentleman
bitterly ; and you still mean to say that in
Blackburn's now bouse there aro not more
than fourteen doors, including tho door of
tho wino cellar ! , ;. ...
' ' I mean to say,' retorts tho lady beating
tho time with her hair-brush on the palm of
her hand, that In that house there are four,
teen doors, arid no more.' - , . ' ; ' -
V oil, then," cries the gentleman, ris
ing in despair, and pacing tho roojrn with
rapid strides, this is enough to destroy a
man's intellect and drive him mad .
. By-and-by the gentleman': comes too a
little, and passing his hand across his fore,
head, finally reseats himself in his former
chair. There is a long silence, and this
tlmo tho lady begins.
M appeal to Mr. Jenkins, who sat next
to mo on tho sofa, In tho drawing-room du.
ring tea.' . .
'Morgan, you mean,1 interrupts tho gen
I do not mean any thing of tho kind,'
answers the lady. -
" Now, by all that is aggravating and
impossible towbear!' cries tho gentleman,
clenching his hands and looking upwards in
ugony-shojj goingjo jnsistjjponjuhat
Morgan is Jenkins! Do you tako mo to
bo a porfect fool lcsclaima jho Iady do
you suppose I don t know one Irom ttw) otn
er? Do you suppose that I don't know that
.. .. .... . T t
the man with the uiue coat was mr. lenmnsf
4 Jenkins irt a bluo coat !' cries tho. gen
tleman with a groan ; 1 Jenkins in a bluo
coat ! a man who would suffer death rather
than wear any thin" but brown!
" Do you daroto charge mo with telling
an untruth 7 demands the lady, bursting in
to tours. ' 1
I cbargd you," ma'am retorts tho gen
tleman starting up, ' ' with being a contra,
diction, a monster of aggravation, a-a-a-Jenkinsin
a tlrrexoatlr Wharbave I done
that I should be doomed to bear such per
petual torments. -
Skclclies of Young Couples.
L, A, W, Law. Tom strikes Dick
with acorn stalk, on which Dick brings an
action against Tom, whoso offence is set
forth in tho following law language: "And
that, whereas the said Thomas at said town,
on tho year and day last aforesaid, in, and
upon the body of the said Richard, against
tho pcaco of this State, then and there be.
ing, did make a most violent assault, and
inflicted a great many and divers blows,
kicks, cuffs, thumps, contusions, gashes,
wounds, hurts, cuts, damages and injuries,
in and ttporrtlteHreadfiieek,-breaatyom
said Richard, with divers sticks, staves,
poles, canes, clubs, logs of wood, stones,
guns, dirks, swords, bowic knives, daggers,
and boarding pikes, then and there held iu
tho hands, paws, fists, claws, teeth, ond
clutches, of him, tho said Thomas."
Sowing srxn. " Why neighbor Sim.
pic," said Mr. Farsight on a bright July
morning, when Mr. Simple was mowing in
a lot, .where the grass stood so thinly that
the spires looked lonesome why neigh.
bor Dimple, you had a fine- lot hero, with a
strong soil, but your blades of grass are so
far opart, that they might grow into hoop-
poles and not crowd each other." t
"ics, " saw Mr, foimpic, " I vo been
thinking I was almost a fool, for I ought to
have sowed a bushel of Jjay-secjllipoailus
picccj but tho truth is, I '.bought onty a
peck, "and so I scattered it about so. much
tho thinnor, and now I sec I've lost a ton
or two of hay by it."
" Wcll,".said Mr. Farsight, " don't you
think you was about as near being a fool,
"when yoiTvof edTlasllen meeting, against
granting any more school money for sew.
ing tho seeds of knowledge in the minds of
the children ns you " was when you scat,
tcred a peck of hay.seod, when, you ought
to have sewed a bushel? Now, remember,
neighbor Simple, what I tell you; "next
year, whenever thero is not grass in this
lot", there'll bo weeds. '
' TEE - TOLL COLLECTOR OUTWITTED. A
body of Irishmen, who' were some time
since employed at work on ono, side of the
Thames, and lodged on the other, On their
return from labour one. evening, asked tho
toll gatherer at the' bridge tbev crossed,
how much a man was ol lowed to carry
over, and was told in reply to carry as
much and what they chose. Taking him
at his word, each man mounted a comrade
upon his shoulders, and paying a single
toll, marched over, much to tho cliagrin of
the collector, whoso exposition of the law
proved no unprofitable, Tho story is told
in tho London papers as an actual occur
rence. '. ' 'l1: ." ,
' What will yu have f
; After a day's work of calculation . and "
copying, I was under tho mortifying neces
sity of waiting anjiour in the bar-room of
a4ow tavernT to secure thoj service of n
ninibguardj who was to carry a parcel for
my employers,! Amidst tho smoke the
spitting and the clatter of a crowd 4f Inn.
haunters, 1 could not but find somo subject
for reflection. -Tho presiding genius of
tlie bar was a bloated, oarbunclcd, -whisk-
ered young man, whom I had long known
as the abandoned son of a deceased friend. ,
I sighed nnd was silent. ' Ever and anon,
as one after another, or squads of two, three
or morej approached this shrina to receive
and empty their glasses, ond deposits their
sixpences. ; J heard the short, peremptory ;
formula of the Bacchanal minister" What
mil you have brandy t gin ? punch T ;
Vhat mil you have ?" , .A nd tha victims
severally mado their bids, for n smaller, a
cocktail, a sling, or a julep,, as tho , caso '
might bo j-The constant repetition of tho
" form in that caso made and provided," set
mo upon a drowsy meditation on the prrg.
na nt question What wiU you have?
' Methinks I can answer tho question, said
I to myself, ns ; I cast a glance around tho
murky apartment I and nrstto tho young
shoemaker, who, wid a pair of newly fin.
Ished boots, is asking for " grog." ; What
will you have ? .Young man, you will soon .."
havo an empty pocici!
. There is a trembling, ragged man, with
livid spots under &a eyes. lie is a ma.
chine-maker, and.has lodgings in tho house.
What will you have T Ah! tho bar-kecper
knows without an answer. Poor man!. I.;
also know what you will have. Already -you
have been twice at death's door and
tho gin will not drive off that chill. You
will nave typus feter!
Thero comes my neighbour, tho bookbinder.-
His hand shakes as he raises ' his
full glass. Ahl Shannon I dread to say
it, but you wilUiavolho patty !
;,Tho glasses aro washed out, not cleans.
ed,inthoslop-tub under tlicbar-shelf-lNow .
a fresh bevy comes up, cigar in hand.
Gentlemen ,( what will you havo? I chooso
to supply rhr answer myself, thus t tho
baker will havo an avoplexu, or a $udden
fall in his shop. The tailor in green glass. -
es will have or rather has already a eon
gumption ; and I fear tho : threo . idlers in
their train, will havo the next epidemic that
shall sweep off our refuse drunkards. But
what will that man have, who leans over :
tho table, seeming to poro over the last
Herald I Hois scarcely resolved what be
shall drink, or whether he will drink at alh
I understand tho languago of his motions, -hq
is a renegade from the temperance ranks.
He bos borrowed money this week. Joint
you will have lodgings in Jail Sorry, in.
deed, I am to see in this den, Mr. Scant."
ling, tho cooper. Not to' speak of himself,
I have reason tobelievo that both his grown
sons are beginning to drink. lie looks
about him suspiciously. How ho has pluck
ed up courage. He takes whiskey. You
will have a pair of drunken sons!
That young fellow in tho green frock,
coat and colored neck-doth, is a musician,
a mo n of rending, and tho husband of n "
lovely English woman. He takos his glass
with tho air of a Greek drinking hemlock.
OU will have a heart broken tnje !
yiaFIjhat lad of fifteen going to tho
o. He is I" and tosses off his cogniac
witii an air, You will have an early deaUi !
Tho old man that totters out of tho door
has doubtless come hither to jdrowohiii
grief. I lis last son has died from the ef
fects of a brawl in tho theatre. " His father
has looked unutterable anguish cvoryljobcr
moment for ' two years. Wrttched old
mnn! you will have tho luiftcr cf a suicide f
I must lake the fl cn tnatsc, for it ii
Saturday night, and tho throng increases.
Tho bar.kecpcrbns an assistant, in the per.
son of a pale, sorrowful gtrl. Two voice
now rcitr.rato tho challenge Whal vitt
you liaeef What trill you hare? Misguid
ed friends I am greatly afraid you will havo
v dcatli.bed vnlliaut hnpe? t
My man tins arrived ; Imustjjo glad
io escape to" purer air; and still the parrot
nolo resounds in my cars -Whal will you
have? You will have to sum up all y mi
ty tfjuehrelrO'Ulion as It fit your life.'
As I walked homo across tho ' common,
thought thus : and what will he havo who
day after day and month after month, and
year" after year, doles out the devil's bounty
to his recruits, and receives Bii" sixpence as
it were ovbihTcrbflin onus victimst -You -to
say the least ,hardened tempter, if mem.
ory live hereafter, will have the rccollcc- -
tion of your triumphs, and tho vision oi
their eternal results. Sentinel of Freedom.
. Games of calculation To TELt anv .
NUMBEtt TnotrGHT or. Desire the person t
add 1 to the triplo of the number thought
of, and to multiply tlie sum by 3 j then bid
him add to this tlie product of tho number
thought of, and the result will bo a sum,
from which if 3 be subtracted, tho remain- lf
der will be ten times tho ntimlier required
and if the ciplwr on the right band bo cut
off from the remainder, the other figuro
will be tho number thought of. " .
Example"! Let the number thought of ho
6, the triplo of which is 18$ and if 1 bo
added, it makes 10 ; the triplo of this last
number is 57, and if 0 be added It makes .
63, from which if 3 bo substracted, the re
mainder will bo 60: now, if theciphcrtrt
tho right bo cast of4ho remaining Jigure
will be the one thought of. , '.