North Carolina Newspapers

    - - Mm ,.r - -
P.E-1 1 J
THE f;tro,f OF TH " Pli'S IS I VSEPERA BLFT f p l
VOLUME XX NO, .1,008;
7 ";- j
TTT35 nrf2IT ftp TIIR TKTO . KT- f I
1 IZTZ- " -
or a single copy, if paid iu advance, per annum, $2
"' " " at the end of 3 months, 2 50
" " at the end of 6 months, 3 00
", ' " " at the end of the year, 3 50
Xo subscription will be received for a shorter period
nan one year unless paid in advance.
With the view of extending the circulation and en
hancing the usefulness of the paper, the proprietor of
era the following remarkably low
5 copies of the Carolinian, 1 year, $8 00
10 " " " " 15 00
Rates f Advertising i
i tty cents per square of 16 lines, or less, for the first
.id 30 cents for each subsequent insertion, unless tne
Iverttseuvtnt is published for more than two inenths.
'hen it will be charged
For three months, ------ $4 00
For six months, ... - 600
For twelve months. ----- , 10 00
- vll advertisements must have the desired number of in-
' ertlong marked on tham, ortharwl they will be in
erted till forbid and charged accordingly. Special
attention is directed to ihi requisition.
aua-AXi tfOTXdES.
TKo fWHowins valuable real estate, the property o
E. C. Hall dec' d. is offered for saleand consists of the
following tracts : . . .
That desirable place known as Rome, containing
about 260 aeres with all the improvements. This
place will be sold entire or divided, to suit purchasers,
it being probably one of the" best business stands in
the country, and is vary desirable to those wishing to
enter the mercantile business.
No 2, Consists ef a Lot and Brick Store (2 tene
ments.) in Gambleton, on BridgcStreet near Claren-
- . . - I 1 .. .. . . .1 V.
don linage, is a very ueairuuic stauu iui uusiuc&h.
No 3, Is 3 acant lots inUampbellton, known in; City
plot as Nos 109, IU, 112, an half of lot 113.
No 4, Is . dwelling house and lot on Haymount,
corner of Plankroad and Adams St. A very desira
ble residence for the whole year.
No 6,- Is a Corn Mill and Steam Engineand Boiler,
of 10 df i & horsepower. This is well worth the at
tention ofthofse living where water power is not avail
able, and will be sold at a great bargain.
For terms apply to J. H. HALrL. Assignee.
August 1, 18j7. 'il-ts
T Abie Negro Men wanted by
the Subscribers
to work on l.h Fa.vtt.e ville and Western
Rail Koad Sections 10 11 & 18 miles from Fayetteville
of whom the highest price will be paid by calling on
the Subscribers oh the work.
D. G. & W. McDUFFIE.
March 27 94-tf
The dwelling House and Lot on Hay Mount, near
j the Donaldson Academy joining W J Yates and others
, lately occupied by Hector McMillan Esq., with a well
i of cood water & Garden iu front. It will be sold a
bargain or renUd to good teuant on reasonable terms
apply to J AS. MAUTINE.
Also the two Sory Ware House on Church St. near
Presbyterian Church.
' April 24, 98-tf
TJ.', 7irst Ice Cream.
Tbe follow!
mouthful of coli neat,- anf s strong glass of Has a Schoolmaster tile Right to Pun-
and the Widows of Soldiers who DIED
in the war ot 1812, can have their
Attoriifcy t Law, Fayetteville, X.C.
" Office at 'the' corner of Bow and Green streets.
" Feb'y 3, i856.
iT'TSlNDS the Courts of Cumberland, Harne
rake and Johnston.
Address, Toorner, Harnett Co., N. C.
Feb; 16. 1836. 8?-y
C o nfection-
Crackers of
all kinds,
Attorney at Law,
lay be consulted at the Law Office of Jese G.
?erd, Esq., on Grecri Strfeet;
July 19, 1856.
Can be found at the Office formerly occupied
by Dr. Gilliam, on How Street.
June 26, 1858. tf
Fancy Ar
and a vari
ety of arti
cle in the
Foot of Haymount, Fayetteville, N. C
Oct. 24. 185T. 73-v
service in the war or lavz, can
s pensions continued by calling on the undersigned.
PnnifrjiM Yi vin mnrfa d i 1 1 1 m i 1 nTYiviomi for
li ve me the-oARnsgment ot - your claims, ' and
the money shall come at once, or no charge.
Agt. for Pensions.
Fayetteville, June 19, 1858. tf
Persona indebted to Jas. C. AlcEaeuiu, as Guardian
of the heirs of John Morrison, deed, art hereby re
spectfully informed, that said guardian has iu a grea
- i : . - 1 A 1 t .. ,1 V. .. : .
majority ul lualaticca ruuuiacu uliu ira;:Mi'iuu tucu
uotcs to the undersigned. Also, that our urgent, ne
cessities apart from the reqi irements of the endorser,
compel us to collect as speedily as possible. AH those
indebted will theretore oblige us, ami themselves too.
by paying up immediately. We must and will sue
where the money is not iortncoming.
A. u. jhjkkisu:n.
Laurinbnrgh. N. C. March 7, 1857. 40-tl
1 he Subscriber is now prepared to accommotlate
1 six pirsoas with board, in addition to the number
- she uortr has. The building which sneoccupiesi
voaveaiently situated on the Doualuson Lot, Hay
'Hiant, aa4 is a good location for a Summer t
Via tar residence. No pains will be spared to make
5t i-tc .oarders comfortable.
-ebruary, 6. MARTHA HARTMAX.
A. Caiiipbell,
East side of Gillespi street.
Fatetteville, N. C.
ctober 1, lSna
irly opposite to E. W. Willkings" Aactien
TROY & FUIilEtt,
Attorneys and Counst-Ilors
K it TO X . C.
formed an association for the practice ot their nrotv-s
sion iu Robeson co.. only R. K. Troy will also at
tend the Courts of Bladen and Columbus, and J P
Fuller those ot'Cumberland.
Their Office in Lumberton will be kept open at all
January 9,1858. 83-tf
TH HE undersigned has made arrangements by
I which he is prepared to furnish at short no
tice, any reqired quantity of
all of which will be from direct importations, into
the Port of Wilmington, aud wurrauted pure and
Orders for the above excellent fertilizer are so
licited, to which prompt attention will be given.
As this is an article which does not admit of
being sold on time, casn or its equivalent must ac
company each order. BEVERLY KOSE.
July 17.
Is now receiving his Spring supply of
Among which are
Prints, Lawns, and Brilliantes;
Col'd and Black Silks;
Irish Linens and Diapers;
Farmer's Linen, Twilled and Plain;
Cashmere and Merino Twills;
White aud Col'd Cotton Ilo.c;
Holting Cloths, No. 0 to 10;
Slik and Straw Bonnets; Ac.
With almost every article in Hie Drv Goods line; all
of which has been purchased by the package at the
late sales iu New York and Philadelphia: " Will be
ottered cheap for cash or on time to paying customers.
March UO. 93-tf
)ot. 1. 1856.
to E. f-. Walkings'
Fayettaville, N. G.
W. II. T UltM VGTO ,
General Comaitoa Mercuaui,
Wil ningloii, N. C,
VW1 ?ive personal attention to the sale or shipment of
V1 consignments of Naval Stores or other country
iroluceratid any other bnsiness enttasted to his care,
vill be promptly attended to.
pril 18. 1857. ly
I ,O90 lbs. Tallow Wanted,
For which the highest cash price will be paid.
Oct. I, 185P
FRANK N. ROBERTS. & CO , having
leased this LTotel, will be pleased to see their
former patrons and friends, assuring them that
they wiil use every exertion to j!-ae
Jan. 9, 1858. 83-tf
f.I Cl. Smith
W .1 . 1 .1 i "
J UtfClUfU H1 I if l lllillll'll tl V HIVHUIl
The Subscriber having at Afarc ii Term 1353, of
the County Court of Cumberland, taken out let
ters of Administration upon the Estate of the late
Win. F. Wightinau, hereby notifies all persons in
debted to said estate to make Payment, aud f.iose
having claims against the same to present them
within the time required by law or this notice will
be pleaded in Bar of their recovery
Gr. VV. WIGHTMAN, Administrator.
March 6, 1853.
Vhite Lead and
sale by
Aug. 15,
Linseed Oil, lor
Bolting Cloth.
A constant supply of trraitel Genuine An
ker Bolting Cloth all Nos., kept on hand and for
sale, at the lowest prices by
Jan 30, 1858. 1m 5mafe'2w
PlantiugPotatoes (Pink Eye) and fine Apples.
Also, a fresh supply of Raisins, Figs and
Oct. 24 73-tf foot of Haymount.
Just received aad for sale by
A. A. McKctlian
respectt'ally informs his friends and the public, that he
has up large substantial Brick Buildings at his
Old Stand, expressly for manufacturing Carriages.
Tkaukluli'ortUe very liberal patronage he has received
for the last 21 years, he hopes by strict atteutiou to
business, with a desire t give satisfaction, to merit a
continuance -of the same. He warrants his work to be
made of the best material and by experienced workmen
iu each branch of the business. His work will compare
favorably with any made in the United States, for neat
ness and durability.
He is determined to sell and do any wurk iu his line
on as good terms as any work done elsewhere that is as !
well done. He now has on hand, finished, the largest
AND BUGGIES, ever ottered in this place, and a very
large stock of work nearly finished, which will be sold
very low for Cash, or on short time to punctual custom
ers. J5-IIe has on hand more than ONE HUNDRED
AND FIFTY Vehicles tinishL-d and in course of con
struction. ;ffiSAll work made byhim is warranted 12 months
with fair usage, and should it fail by bad workmanship
or material will be repaired free of charge.
Persons wishing to buy would do well to call and
niamine fo themselves.
Orders thankfully receiveclamt promptly ittenneu to.
Repairing executed at short n-itiee and on rery rea
sonable terms.
Fayetteville. Oct i ixs
in the
Town of Fayetteville, respectfully offers his servi
ces to the citizens of this place and surrounding
country. In all the various branches of his Pro
fession, including the manufacture of Mineral
Teeth, he is satisfied, after an extensivn experi
ence, to which is added a tborotijh Oental educa
tion, that he can give entirvHtiW-tir,n "a-Ttvr h s
it is in tbe power of Dentistry. All irregularities
of the Teeth treated in a proper and careful man
lier, as well as diseases of the mouth, None but
the proper metals are made use of iu the various
operations. Charges will be moderate, that the
benefits of the Profession may be placed within
i the reach of all who may feel an interest in the
preservation of the Teeth.
OPOtlice over Houston's Jewelry Store, where
he will be found at all times.
May 15, 1853 tf
The Subscriber wishing to move to the country of
fers for sale a good Dwelling House; Barn. Stables &
other Out Houses, with about 16 Acres of Land lying
on Adam Street iu Lower Fayetteville the above
property will be sold cheap aud on liberal terms
Apply to J. DAVIS
Fayetteville, Aug 21. tf
rnrticle anoeared & fw
ago in "The 1 jgQerreotype," a periodical of
short-lived Xlist8nce, conducted by the Rev.
Dr. BreeniBftiljiho died some time since, Bish
op of Arkanso and Texas.
'tlV' w.f,Pn. or to what, to give
creuit iui i louowin hit, we would certainly
oo n. i. 7yjrs to as without any intimation
of its origin, And we give it place as ludicrously
characteristic ,. It purports to be "An account
of Ethau Spiie's First aud Last Visit to Port
land." , t v
"Portland i the all-firedest place I ever seed.
I was down tlw te-jn 33, to see a little about
mj going tPUlp Legislature, and such a time
as I had yoiMfever heer'd tell oh. Did I ever
tell 70a abooprjir ice cream scrape I had?" I
" We antwf f Jnbe lesative, and he re-
three dy. pokin lalfevery hole, ai thot IM"
seed everytliiifg thar was to be seen. 'But one
day towads sun down I was goin by a shop iu
Middle street that looked wonderfully slick
there was all manner of candy an peppercnents
and what nots at the windows. An then there
wer signs with gold letters 011 them, hanging:
round the door, tellin how they sold Soda, Mead
and Ice Cream thar. I says to myself, I have
heern a great deal about ice cream, and now if
I dont see what theys made of. So I puts my
hands in my pockets ai; walks in kinder cure
less, and suys to a chap staiidiu behind the
"Do you keep any ice creams here?"
"Yes, sir," savs he, "how much will you
I considered a minit, says I "a pint, sir."
The young fellers face swelled out, aud he liked
to have laughed light out, but arter a while he
"Did you say a pint, sir?"
"Sartin,'; says 1, "but p'raps you don't re
tail, so 1 doul mind taking a quart."
'YVal, dont you think the fellow snorted right
out. Tell yer what, it made me feel sort a
pisun an 1 gave him a look made him look so
ber in about a minit; an when I clinched my
Est and looked so at him (here Mr Spike fa
vored us with a most diabolical expression,) he
handed me a pint of the stuff as perlite as could
be. Wall, I tasted a mouthful of it, an found
it cool as the north side of Bethel hill in Jan-
nary. I'd half a mind to spit it out, but jest
then I seed the confectioner chap grinnin be
hind the door, which riz my spunk. Gall
smash it all, thinks I, I'll not lei that white
livered monkey think I'm afeard I'll eat the
plaguey stuff if it freezes my innards. I tell
yer what, I'd rather skinu'ed a bear or whipp'd
a wild cat, bat I went it. I eat the whole in
about a minit.
"Wall in about a quarter of an hour I began
to feel kinder gripy here," eoutinucd Ethan
pointing to the lower parts of his stomach, "an
kept on feeling no better fast, till at last it
sceuua bs tiirttgw i'a4roLa6teani -insren sawin
shingles in ne. I sot down 011 a cheer, and
bent mv self ud like a nut-cracker, thiiikiu I'd
whiskey punch, and then go to bed. tie got
the Bxins, which I took and went to. bed.
But I tett yer what, I bad a ra' her poor nhrl t
Sometimes I was awake groanin,' and when I
was asleep I'd rather bin awake, for I had such
powerful dreamy. Sometimes I thought I was
1 a -fc , . -r
milium a uear anu men ot some nocastioeis ti.,.,r
lZ?tV, I chanI5V"ldet00f,,'d tl,etar- The case was one in which a teacher had
Tl I would be skinning me 8ucd . ad fo,. assan,t d fe whkn ,t
i J -:?k VPhli ?f ZLii- 7" ffta? 's "nd. wa committed i" the school house.
...... uU Ha , u Jinrai- OtrmtHtewR road and
& nun lueu ; litre Mie curs t
ish. a Child?
In the Court of Quarter Session in Philadel
phia,, on Thursday,, a case af some interest, not
ouly to parent and guardians, but to the teach
ers ii public schools, was on trial. From a re
port w tne ease 111 a .FuiIadelDhia paper
Phoenix street. The
everv i.r., .4 , . ,., , ? ..... j n.
thing would get reversed a-inl was a loJ. Ti:: " ""J "' WV" . " g t - . .1'
.,,1 ,1 , . . ... .,. . -;- me incner oj uie uuir ! 1110
W L? DP r l r ,a,,d- Viead, dragged her to the floor and otherwise
P f h . . Wake.nP and screech and roar , lrmUreating her. This treatment created quit,
.1 II 0 1 1 fn t.. .Illin A... , 1 . ak . ...... 1 A
Ker naa run away with me or that father was
whipping me or some other plaguey thing, till
mornin.' . . .
'When I got up, I hadn't any 'appetite for
breakfast, and the tavern keeper told me that
if I was goin' to carry on screamin and - groan-
in as I had the night afore tjny room was bet-
an excitement among the si hollars, many of
whom rao out of the room terror-stricken. The
defence was, that the teachtt had severely pun
ished a child of the defendant. This -child is
about nine years of age, and has lost the use ei
her right side; and, it is al'ged, that for talking
in school, she was struck on - the head with - a,
pieceofTattjui, which drew blood. This .coming.-
1 ham t,' Uttid -Mr. Spike, in concTQSioTiTrV;i.flH(,rt t th vel,nl anA'rommifi.dvltia'
haint bin to Port and since but if I live to be assanltr though, in answer to a - qnestioi froiu ,
uiu u xvitriiiusseiein. i suaii never loriret iuai
all-fired Ice Cream.
"If I were a Man."
Don't I wish I were a mau! Wouldn't I set
the beaver-hatted population an example of
brillant perfection. Wouldn't I make myself
generally agreeable to all the ladies, and talk
to them as if they had souls above bonnets?
What a glorious man I should make.
I wouldn't stand on the hotel steps and iniff
clouds of villianous tobacco smoke in the eyes
of all the pretty girls that go past, nor spit on
the pavement to spoil their little shoes and
injure their temers.
I woudu't set my huge hels down on the
trains of their silken dresses, to tear 'em half
off; and 1 think I'm not quite sure, but I
think I'd knock down the first brate who dared
to complain of the circumference of their
And when they come in the car or omnibus,
I wouldn't stick my nose into a newspaper, or
look abstractly out of the window, nor get tip
grumbling, "Always the way with women!"
Not a bit of it! I'd spring up like a patent
India rubber ball and if the old bachelor on
the right hand side, and the spruce clerk on the
I left hand side, didn't compress themselves into
I., ,. . . f
me smallest possmie space, 10 msiae room lor
the crinolines, I would know the reason why.
And then, when I get married (for to what
end was I created, if not to pay the milliner's
bills of some blessed little bit of womankind)
' wouldn't I make a model husband! Do you
, suppose I should bother her sweet life out of her,
;by grumbling because a paltry button had
! dropped off a shirt collar, or a siring off a
dicky? Do you think I'd explode like a
camuhene lamp every time 1 found a rip in my
gloves? I'd like to see my sell stooping to any
such littleness
-i. would' t rnnsulLthe alamanc every time she
bought a new bonnet, to see just how many
wepks she had worn the old one: aud I wouldn't
. -. . ...-it .
gnu aud Hear it; out 1 couiuu 1 sei nun 1 snar i,ke a cross tiger cat whenever the conee
twisted and sqirmed about like an angle worm , happened to be cold Or the breakfast raw, just
on a hook, til! at last as the chap as gin me the 1 as if J wanted her to abase herself in dust and
cream, who had been lookin on suiggerin says ; ashes; and burn up her rosy little face beiore
to me. the kitchen fire, while I sat with my heel upon
'Mister,' says he 'what ails yer?' : the table, reading the paper the next room
'Ails me! savs I 'that ere stuff of your'u j wouldn't use profane language when she
the jude. she stated she did not go for that
purpose, but was exasperated by the teacher v
telling her that she had whipped her daughter
and woold do so again.
As the evidence in relation to the treatment
of the child was rnled ont. as no justification
for the assault, and the defendant then plead
guilty Judge Ludlow, in passing the sentence
to the conn, said: '
"This case comes before the court nniler pe
culiar circumstances, as it is intimately connec
ted with the jrood discipline of our public schools
The rule is no doubt correct, but the law, is that
when a parent places a child within the walls
of a school, it is to be nndcr the care and con
trol if the teacher. This must be the case in
any and everv school When the child is thus
placed, thh first thing to be inculcated in its
mind is obedience to the rules and regulation!
of the school, and if it disobeys them, it must
receive the punishment due to the offence.
If p thnnld onc e b come understood that a moth
er can go into a school room and interfere with
the teachers, imperiling the lives of the schol
larsby creating a panic, there would be an end
to all order among the pupils. If there is any
wronr done bv the teacher, the paretit lias a
remedy; first by an application to the directors
of tile school, and second, by a resort to the
"The evidence in this cassis that the punish
ment was 1 ot unnecessarily severe, uut unuer no
circumstances could the assault on the teacher
be justified. 1 have therefore nothing to do
but niaiiitiiiii the authority ot the leaeueis 01
the schools in the exercise of their duties; I
regret exceedingly to be compelled to do so in
this case, on accoaut of the mother, who ap
pears to have been very much excited at the
time of the assault. The sentence of the court,
is, that the defendant pay a fine of one cent, and
nndergo an imprisonment in the county prison
for the term of twenty-four hours." Petersburg
Express - . ,.. ..... ...,,.,, , ..
What Tony Don't Believe.
He don't believe that n man is any wiser for
having A. S. S. or any other letters, attached
to his name.
He don't believe a lawyer is any keener be
cause he wears a pair ot spectacles.
He don't believe that schoolmasters, physi-
. porated with Collegiate powers by the Legislature
of the State, is provided with a full corps ot expe
I rieaoed Teachers, new Chemical and Philosophical
1 Apparatus, aud the usual facilities for the uequi
l silioil of knowledge.
The Seventh Session will commence on the first
ilouday in October. For further information ad
dress the Principal. WM. K. BLAKE.
Aug. ID, 1858. 2m
A few Thousand bushels WHEAT, of good quality,
for which the highest cash Jrice will be paid.
Aug 14th, 1858. -3t
inly 11, 1857.
Heavy 4-4 Beaver Greek Sheetings.
Cotton Yarn, Warp and Filling, Nos. 5 to 10,
Belt, Picker, Roller aad Lace LEATHERS.
Oils aad Maaufaeturer's Findings.
Wiotcr trained. Sperm. Lard aad Liaseed Oils.
ShuttUe'a Isinglass, French Glue, Emory , Roller
uioia ana ixiass oieps.
J. H. HALL, Pres. B. CM. Co
Jaly 26. 1856 8-tf
Sale by
Aug. 15,
Oils, Varnish, Brushes, for
2500 IJBLS
of Nos. 2 and 3 llosia
Aug 2.
wishes to
Also, any quantity
NY PERSON desiring work done in the best
l stvle in the above department, can secure my
services by al lressiag me at Fayetteville, N. C.
Jr D. McD., will take contracts any vh.'re in tne
country, within 100 miles trom fayetteville, ana
prompt attention will oe given to tne same.
Sep. iz. lo. iy
For Sale at reduced prices, at the Auction Store
Aug 21, 1858.
(Call soon, secure a good
bargain and save money,)
One of the largest, hand
aomeet and cheapest
stocks of BOOTS AND
SHOES, Ladies' GAI
TERS, satin and colored;
Ladies' and Gents DAN
All persons are forwarned from harboring, trading
or in anv way unlawfully dealing with Jesse Butts,
Dallas liutt, and Samuel Butts, who were bound as
apprentices to me under aa order of Duplin County
Court, as I shall enforce the full extent of the law
upon all olfenders. I am informed that they are
lui-kina- about in the Bounty of Hainett, in this State
in the neighborhood of Jackson Williams', where their
mother resides. I will give five dollars each, for their
apprehension so that 1 can get tliem.
Aug. 14, 1858, tiw
The Annual Meetiner of the Fayetteville & Albe
marle Plank Road Co.. will take nlace at the Town
Hall in Favettevllle. on Thursdav 25 iust.. at
I 1 1 o'clock. JAS. G. COOK, Pres't.
' August 12, 1858. 86-tm
VLL parsons indebted to the concern of FRANK A;
JERRY andJ. H. ROBERTS A CO., are requested
otcoiaa forward and settle thair bills. If not settled
by the last of this month, they will fiad them in the
hands of a Lawful Collector.
May 8, 1853
Persons wanting
i Turpentine Stills,
I Brandy Stills,
CING SHOES, of a new Copper Work or bheet-lron work ot any kind
and beautiful pattern; can call on M. A. Baker, and get every explana-
SIIOES and 1 tion to satisfy themselves tnat it is too true to
and every make a joke of, 1 have a fresh supply of Copper
' on band to fill orders at the shortest notice. All
work warranted to equal any that can be done in
the United States. Call and examine for your
selves give me a trial, and let the truth be known.
Opposite the 1'ost utnee.
article in his line.
His stock is choice and carefully selected by him
self, and buyers will find it to tneir interest to call
before purchasing elsewhere. M.FAULK.
J6A11 who have lost their soles come for
ward, andthey will he renewed for Seventy-tivr cei.ts
aad upwards. M. F.
Fayetteville, July 17, 185.
is freezin up my daylights,' says I. j
'You eat too much,' says he. ,
'1 tell you I didn't, screamed I; 'I know
whats enough and whats too much, without
asking you, and if you dont leave oB snickerin :
I'll spile yer face." j
'He cottoned right down, and said he didn't
mean any hurt, and asked me if I hadn't better
take some gin. I told him I would. So I
took a purty good horn, and left the shop."
'Arter I got out,' continued Ethan, 'I felt
better for a minute or so, hut I had'nt gone
fur afore the gripes took me agin; so I went
into another snop ana iuoi. some muic g"
then 1 sot and sot, but I didn't feel a mite bet
ter. I begun to think I was goiu to kick the
bucket, and then 1 thought of father aud
mother and of old Spanker thats father's hoss
, and when I thought that I should uever see
etti agin, I fairly blubbered. But then I hap
pened to look up, and see a doeen boys griuuiu
and larBn at me, I tell you what it ris my
dander that had got down to nero rite up
acrin. I soruutr at urn like a wild cat, hollerin
out I'd shake their tarnal giszards out, aud
the way the little devils scampered was a cau
tion to uobody. But after the citement ov the
race was over, I fell wns agin, and I could'nt
help groauin aud screechin as I went along.
"At last I thought I'd go to the theatre,
but afore I got there, the gripes got so strong
that I had to iro behind a metin house and
lay down and holler, Arter awhile I got up
and went into a shop and eat uall dollars worm
of biled isters with four pickled cowcumbers.
and wound up with a glass of Orandy. Then I
Went into the theatre and seed the plays, dui
I felt so bad that I could not see any fun iu
i . 1 . 1 .1 : . . I I. . . .-. ...
em, lor 1 aout iniiis me isters uu me ur
enmbers done any good. I set down, laid down
and ttood Up, but still it went on, gripe, gripe.
I groaned all the utue and once in a while 1
was obi iced to screech kinder easy. Every
body stared at me and somebody called out
"turn him outl" once or twice. But at last
just as the nigger Oi-thello was going to put
the pilleronlus wife's face to smother ner,
there cum sich a twinsr through me, that I real
ly thought I was bustiii up aud 1 yelled out
"Oh dear! Oh seizzore!" so loud that the old
theatre run again. Such a row you never seed;
the uigger dropped the piller, and Deauterono-
my or what yon call her there bis wife, jum
ped ff the bed and run, while everybody in the
theatre was all np iu a minuit some larfin,'
some swuriu. The upshot of it was the pel lice
carried me out of the theatre and told me to
make myself scarce.'
"Well as I didn't feel any better I went in
to a shop close by and called for two glasses
of brandy; arter swallerin' it, I went hum to
the tavern. I 6at down by the wiudow and
tried to thiuk I felt better, but t'was no go:
that blasted old engine was still walleriu' aw ay
inside; so I went out aud eat a quarter's worth
of isters and a piece of mince pie. Theu 1 went
back aud told the tavern keeper I felt kinder
sick, aud thought I'd like some Castor ile, a
asked me to button up her sweet little gaiter
boots, or fasten her gloves or even to carry
ber parcels down Broadway, on a rainy day
which. last I consider to be an infallible test of
patience and meekness.
I wouldn't gorge uiyseu wun wine, anu
oysters, and cigars at a fashionable down town
restaurant, while my wife dined at home on
cold mutton, and then look as black as an
overcharged thuuder cloud when the grocer's
"little bill" came in; I wouldn't expend a small j
fortune in diamond shirtstands, extravagant
broad-cloth, and fancy canes, aud then mutter
about "hard times," when she Ventured to ask
me for half a doller to buy check for the baby's
aprons 1
And I rather think I'd go shopping with her.
too, wheu she hinted to that enect instead ot
inventing excuses about Smith, Brown, or the
club aye, and pay her bills too, without
screwing up my mouth as if I had the cramp
in my face! And if she looked into a shop
window and admired a thirty dollar collar, I'd
walk in aud buy it for her instead of feigning
to be absorbed in the signs opposite, aud "for
cetting to hear" what she said.
When I came home at night. I would u't
make a bear of myself, behind the evening paper
and af swer savagely, when she timidly asked
what I was reading, "women can't understand
politics!" No, indeed! I would read her all
the anecdotes, play with the chiMren, pull the
pussy's ears, and tell her how becoming her
new silk was. That's the way to keep the
women good natured, take my word for it; and
what prettier sight is there in all the world
than a good humored woman? Mind, I don't
ask the incorrigible old bachelors; first because
it isn't any of their busiuess, second, because
they're not judges ot the article, lsut put tne
qnestion to any sensible fellow between the ages
of eighteen as.d twenty-eight, and see wltat he'll
"I'd make a point of always asking my wife's
advice before I went to vote and doing just
as she said about it then I'd be sure to be
always right. And if any bachelor friend of
mine had the itnpuden t as me n ou ster
snnner without including my wite iu the
K 1 "
scans, aud ministers, like to be contradicted a
whit better than other folks.
lie don't believe that all lawyers are rogues,
any more than he believes an eel is a snake-
lie dou't believe that the most industrious
man likes to work except when he can't help it.
Hd dou't believe tliut two young lovers like
to be caught with their anus urouud one auoth
er'S waists.
He don't believe that a young lady ought
to be married before she is twenty-one at least.
Ile don't believe that young gentlemen should
marry bct'oi e they uie able to support a wife.
lie uon't btliev in getting up early in uie
morning without going to bed euriy at niglit
He don't believe a man a fool because Lu can't
make a speech
Uedou't believe that becanse both. wise and
windy begiu with W, that they end in the same
He dou't believe that- a lady is much the
worse for. wearing a bustle, thuu-h he decidedly
prefers cnjlTee bags.
' In fact. he dou't 'jelieve iu a great man) things
that; 01 hers believe in, and the result ia that ho
is voted an oddity and a bore.
Kiver, they had
not having one ou
Worse Than That. Some years ago as
Oorw U .!" 1 hp Ktfwm-r Water-Witch, was
passing down the Arkansas
iiiessinir ueed of an axe, and
board, at the first landing the boat rounded to.
the Captain dispatched an Iribhinnn to
nearest cabin in o lest of one. l'retty
Patrick returned with an Hxe; but when, after
having used it, the Captain oiucltd LIlU ti.
return it, he refused point-blink.
"But what is the reason?" urged Captain
B .
"Sure then an' I'll tell ye. When I went up
X t the cabin 1 saw a white woman, ai.' I ax' Lei"
' neilitely fur the loan of an axe, aud she tilled
; . , . .i :..i.i :.. .
me to ax her liusuauu in inecuni-ueiu, k.
honor, I w ent up to the torn-held, and 1 buw u.
biir black naarer a standing there, alio. J, sco
him, ses 1 "an' w here's
he. "I'm the luastnel ;
afther having the loan ot
mi antes.'
ffet it
invitation, do you suppose I'd go? Ask my
mother-in-law about that.
1 wouldn't go to evening parties, and flirt
desparately with other ladies, aud talk about
"my poor, dear wife whose ill health precluded
her enjoyment of society," when I knew very
well that she was sitting at nome uione -iu. j
the cat, aud crying her eyes out over one of my j
ragged old coats.
flood cracious! what a wide field for im- 1
provement there is among the benighted sons of j
Km !( ":'o dow n to tne house ana
Well. 1 col the axe. Captain, an' as
" an
se6 1,
ax lor a
1 wint by the door ses 1 to myself, 'bejabers
but I'll give her a small bit of my lun.d." 60
I puked my head iu the door, and 6e I, -'aiu't
ye ashamed of yerself to be Laving a black
nager for a husband!" Au' ses she, "Law, uul
I had a sister done worse than that;" an' tx
I "what was that shure?-' an' ses she. "61 a
married an Irishman. An' be dad, I'll be
allher speaking no more to the baste, Captain,
begging yer honor s pardon."
The "Captain" laughingly excused him from
Adam! It puts, me coinpli tely out of breath , so unpleasant, a uuiy.
to think of half the reforms I'd mase. uni 11
I were only a man! WomarCi Advocate.
Write your name by lundness, love and
mercv, on the hearts of the people yon come
..1 1 1 Ml - J
iu contact witn, year oy year, auu you win i this latitude, the meu are always ready to
feavfc them that trouble
A female correspondent of a St. Louis paper
speaks of a sight she saw lately that made
her smack her lips. It seems a pity that the
ladies in that city have to smack their own lips.
nerer be forgot teja.
- -4

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