VOL 2.
THE tttEANiEiK.
PUBLISHED WEEKLY B*
PARKER fc JOHNSON
Krnham, N. C,
9-t' ii.l
Ralei of Subscription. Postage Paul ;
One Year
Six Months
Three Months ,w
Every person sending us a clilb.of tpn
subscribers «iti» the cash.dititlorf Wiirapjfjto
one copy frccv for tlie length of "time for
which the cinb is made ttp. l'upors sent to
different olHees.
jlio Departure from the Cash System
ttnU-n of Advrrl jsiiis ,
Transient advertisements payable in ad
vance ; yearly advertisements quarterly in
advance.
1 1 m. |2 m. |8 m. I 6m. )12 in.
1 (iu are
a j a oo 4 so| e oc>' 10 oo i 15 oo
Transient advertisements J «ljper square
for the first, ami «fty.c«fats fof eatfh lMilMe
quent insertion.
Adver isemoiits not specified as to time;
published until ordered out, aud charged
accordingly.
vlll advertisements considered due from
first Insertion.
One inch to cQiietitute a square
For larger advertisements tliMi two
squares, terms as reasonable as can be af
forded, according to special contract, based
upon the rates above speciallv set forth.
Where Advertising Contracts can be mad*
v...
JpA LACE J EWEL It Y STORE
OPTICIAN, IVATCII-JIAKKR,
AND JEWELER, AND
EMMA VEll,
AND HEATER IN
WATCIIKS, CI.OCKN. JKWICI.KV
Silver Ware; Bridal Presents, Solid
Rings, Walking Canes,
Gold Pens, &c.
GREENSBORO, N. 0.
I * » *
ff hick will bo ••Id chrnp foi Cnah.
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry, Sewing Ma
chines, and pistols repaired cheap and on
hort notice. An assorted stock of Guns,
Pistols Cartridges, &c., always on hand.
Apr'JO-ly
Ni:i'K KIOK ( Odli "
Alamance Count)'
Andrew Murray as Adminis- |
trator John Albert, Plaintiff j Summons
Against
Robert J. Albert, William 11. I for Rei.le
Albert, and Martha J, Albert f
Sarah E. Albert, Joseph Y. Special Pro-
Albert, James S. Albert and ccedings.
Eddie Albert, the last five
infants without guardian.
State oj North Carolina,
To the Sheriff of Alamvnct 'County—&TEET
INO
Yon arc hereby Commanded to summon
Robert J. Albert, H'illiam 11. Albert, and
Martha J. Albert, Sarah E. Albert, Joseph
Y Albert, James 1 Albert, and Eddie AlbeJt
the last five infants without guardian the
defendants above named if they be found
within your County to appear at the office
of the Clerk of the Superior Court for the
County of Alamance within twenty one days
after the service of this summons on tliefli
exclusive of the day of such service, and
answer the complaint which will be deposit
ed in tho oftiee of said Clerk within ten days
from the date of this summons: And let
said def ndants take notice that if they
to answer the complaint witl|in that time
tiic plaintiff will apply to the Court for the
relief demanded in the complaint.
Herein fail not and of this summons make
due return.
Given under my hand and the seal of said
Conrt.
This 12 day of Febuary 1876.
,W. A Albright C. 6. q.
Alamance County.
In the above entitled proceeding it appear
ing to the satisfaction of the court that Rob
ert J. Albert is a proper party thereto and
that ho is a non-resident it is ordered that
publication for hm be made in TUB ALA
MANCE GLEANER for six weeks in lien of
personal service of summons.
W A. Albright, O. S, C,
Alamance County.
Done at office in Graham I
Feby. this 1876. J
Pilipps! Pumps!!
ro:—
THOMAS S. ROBERTSON,
Company Shops, N. C.,
{" j f j
b manufacturing and selling the best and
CHEAPEST rtflPN
*
ever offered to tho peopie of this State, osau
pumps are aa durable as wooden pumps can
be made. They are easy as any ohe want
ing water could wish. They arc sold as
cheap as any one who proposes to buy could
ask.
Humps delivered anywhere o» short notiee.
Each pump warranted. The inanufactur
refers to every p»up of kis in use. Not on
has ever failed.
feb 33-ly
gCOTT & DON NELL. /
GRAHAM, N. 0.,
Buy and sell
(J«TT«N. CORN, IlitDß, BACON
I'ABD, AND ALL KINDS OW
COCNTKY PRODUCE, -
tvb- 10-qu
THE ALAMANCE GLEANER.
,1 WVKWfK™.
J. I'. UI : LJ,EY, :
lIUTiILEk AlfD JonitEK OF
Clothing
! * **■**•■* • (•>/>«.. f.'f, l. i !
NOTIONS.
lit I \ f ■».' :
~ BTJItTS lIAND-MADE
''l *' - '
Boots & (waiters
J - ' » ® •.
I ■ . ' V : na.it/-
IIATB AND (!VP», T.11.1M N,
j
rKI NKM.fVIIITG COODH,
«cC., Ac.,
w '
- •■ ■ • k , r l +UK'. t rt - l I
Smith Cor. EayettcviUe St., and, Exchange
Place
j. 'iAWffl; K. c... . .
A FLORENCE
km 1 I
S *s*Ll
* i..
Sewing Machine
Will make a stlch alike on both aides It,
lias a rcversablc feed. It is made of fine case
hardened steel. It has no cogs, cams or wire
springs to get out of order, lias a self-regulat
ing'tension. It will sew from light to lieavy
fabric, and is adapted to all family sewing.
It is the prettiest machine made, and runs very
light—ls almost noiseless, and is just what
every housekeeper ought to have The use of
it can be learned from the book accompany
ing each machine. And it can be bad on
monthly installments if desired. We also
have a new.
If
MAKIFACTURINU MAtUIKK
i •
ter very learr w»rk,
which can also be used on fine work. This
ljjacliine wi;l make 2853 stichbs per minute.
Manufacturers will do well to order a Klor
etace B. at once.
The hundreds of the Florence now in use in
North Carolina prove its merits,and that our
people appreciate a good thing. Needles, oil,
thread and silk constantly, on hand for all
machines and sent by mail to any part of the
State. We are also agent for the
B I C K F O RD
Family Knitting Mac b in e
upon which 20,000 sticliea may bo knit per
minute, and from thirty to forty pairs of
socks may be knit per (lay. complete without
seam, and perfect ncel flna toe.
Hoods, Gloves, Shawls Scarfs, Headings.
Ac., may be knit upon the "Woman's Help,"
and the price is less than half the common
knitters, only J3O. _ ,
Correspondence solicited in relation to eith
er the Knitter or Sewing Machine and samp
les of work sent when requested. All orders
by mall will receive prompt attention.
And machines shipped to any part of the
State. Agent wanted in every county? Ad
dress
F. G. CARTLAND,
General Agent.
Grectisboro, N.
F. JONES,
GBAITAM, N. C.,
Btlggy and Carriage Makers,
Arc prepared to fill at the shortest notice
all orders in their line Repairing promptly
aud neatly done, at
DIODEBATE RATES.
i
They also keep constantly on hand lor sale
at their bliop, an assortment of
Iroi Nail*. Buggy Material, Prepar
♦
' rd Paint* ef all rslers,
I 4
Ploughs, aud C»B«.
Any style of coflin furnished at two hours
(loticc. All kinds of produce taken at market
price*. ...
We are thankful for past patronage, and
hope to rnfcrit its continuance.
fltb 6
ftmnrnL
Wit. FOIIBIS & BROTHER
(under the 3enbow Hall,)
GREENSBORO, N. C„
keep constantly on hand a complete assort
ment of FURNITURE. Repairing of every
description, including
Upholstering
neatly done. Their stock consists of
CHAIfIBBB ABTM,
ranging in price from $25.00, to $500.00;
eairr, DliisfKMß, Parler Sc Baeh
il| Chairs. Bareaas, Wardrskn
JnlscM Oeaks.WaCra.t'rihs. Cra
dles a ad Traalle-Bed» far the
little folks, Mauraan aaa
Spriag Beds ml every va
riety aad style,
Hat-racks and any and everything in th
furniture line. Their stock it the largest an
most complete ever offered in this portion
of the State. They defy coini»etilim In quail
»rpr loe apr 20. iiu
SGRAHAM, N- C., TUESDAY. APRIL 25, 1876.
STEWART'S HII.IJO^N.
From the Tribune,. Times and' Ileis '
aid wc compile tlio following interest- j
ing facts as to the lifo, character, btisi
ness habits and pecuniary accutnulu"
I tions of Mr. Stewart:
S A liEI.IKVKU IX LUCK ANI) THE LUCICY.
Perhaps the most singular characters
iatic of Mr. Stewart was his alleged
superstition or belief in luck and lucky
persons. Bearing upon this subject
many curious stories are told on him,
some of which will bear repetition.
When he kept his store on Broadway, i
between Murray and Warren streets,
1 there sat on the sidewalk before it, on
an orange box, an old woman whose
ostensible occupation was the selling
of apples. This business was. hows
ever, merely a pretence, the main
object being beggary. As years rollei
on Mr. Stewart became impressed
with the idea that the old dame was
his guardian angel of good luck, and
this impression took so firm a hold
upon his mind that when he rcrac ved
to Chambers street ,h,e,.iU.'pfertOn, took
up the old' Woman's box aud removed
her to the front of his new establish*
ment. In futher illustration of Mr
Stewart's faith in the Irish traditional
belief in "luck" and "lucky" persons
it may be mentioned that after the
completion of the St. Nicholas llotc
in thjs city, an undertaking in which
ho was largely interested, aud when
the building was just about to be open
ed lor the reception of guests, the mil
lionaire, standing in the drawing
room, ejaculated, "it is now finished ;
I hope its first visitors may be lucky
people." A gentleman present, who
had heard of Mr. Stewart's care for
the aged apple vender, remarked, "I
presume, sir, you do not in reality care
about lucky or unlucky persons;" to
which he immediately replied. "Ins
deed I do. There arc persons who are
unlucky. I some times open a caso of
goods aud sell the first from it to some
person who is unlucky and loose on it
to to tho end. I frequently.sec persons
to whom I would not sell if I could
avoid it."
ius I'Kcyu.vlt business ideas and
JIKTnODS.
His ideas of architecture wero pe
culiar. Iron was his favorite material)
and ho used plenty of glass. Ilis aim
was to adapt the structure to all its
purposes, and to secure the comfort of
all withiii. JFhcn he built a house tor
another—as his marble palace in Fifth
avenue, which he playfully called "a
little attention to Mrs. Stewart" —i l
was a different matter. He built that,
he used to say, merely to please her.
This is the costliest private residence
ih America, and his art collection is
one of the finest in tho United States.
He married young, and leaving a wife
but no children.
Throughout his business career Mr.
Stewart has been cautious, prrctical
and, according to the common appro"
elation, especially commonplace.
What he has achieved has come uot so
much from abnormal shrewdness as
from strict adhearaocc to principles
understood* it'uet-carried-out, in *all
tho mercantile communities. So,
too, while-bis methods of trade were
snch as any young man might adopt,
the growth of his colossal fortune was
not marked by unusual episodes of
startling changes. He was not dual in |
character; he led one life; ha was
governed by one code, lie was a prac. j
tical, far-sighted man, with passion 1
for busiucss as overmastering as Bis- |
marck has for aflairs of state. At al|!
times he was reticent, but keen; guard-'
ed, but quick; firm, but not bead* j
strong; exacting toward himself and
others. A gentleman with whom lie
was mbst closely related in busines 8
and society for inafty years, speaks Of
his remarkable financial ability. He
could invest the greatest amounts with
tho umost confidence and unerring
judgment. Had the amount under his
control annually been (200,000,000
Instead of 150,000,000, it is said that
bo would have experienced n« -hasitas
tion in disposingoiit. He was to the
eye almost Impassive at hazarJous mo
ments ; comprehended silently every
point of tho situation, and would des
cide before ether men could have col
lected themselves to think. Over his
vast concern bis personal supervision
was unremitted. Stray branches, so
small at to seein insignificant, were
watched as vigilantly as those through
which millions of dollars passed. His
business habits wero retained to the
last month ot his life. He generally
arrived at the Tenth street store about
10 o'clock in the r morning, stayed
until uoou, then went .down to the
Chambers street establishment and
remained there until 5 o'clock. One
of tbe busiest men in New York, he
had few holidays and these were
passed at Saratoga. He was a liv
ing fmbodiment of the genius of
trade.
HIS REAL ESTATE—'PROBABLE PKOVIS
IONS OK THE WILL.
Mr. Stewart has long been regarded
as one of tbe richest men in tlie Unit"
ed States. Next to Cornelias Vao
derbilt and tbe late William B. As tor
he was proably the richest. Mr Van
derbilt invested in railroads from
their first introduction in this coun
i try, and lias amassed what is pop*
ularly supposed the largest private
fortune in America, almost wholly
in the productive stocks; Mr. Astor'g
greut fortune of $60,000,000. or S(>CK.
000,000 was made, as is well known
almost wholly in real ettate (pera-
tions in a city wliere
inents proved to be exceptionally and
inarvclously profitable. Mr. Stewarts
fortune was made almost wholly m
trade—his real estate transactions
subsidary to his mercantile projects
and he took no interest in railway
or other speculative stocks or operas
tions. His fortune grew less rapidly
than that el the others, being subject
ed to revorses of trade which that of
the others, did not feel; but it is
generally edimated that he has left
property to the amount of $50,000,000,
and possibly tnote.
The following list will give »orae
idea of the immense amount of capi
tal invested in that class of property
although not by any means complete,
represents in itself many fortune*
lie owned the marble structure run
ning from Broadway to llcad street,
now used as a wholesale
ment; the retail store, occupying a
complete block bound by Ninth and
Tenth streets, Broadway and Fourth
avenue, the Metropolitan and St*
Nicholas hotels; the Globe theatre, 011
Broadway; Niblo's Garden; his
mansion on Fifth avenue, all 01 the
buildihgs extending from Broadway
on Depau row; the Amity . street
Baptist church; the Grand street
Presbyterian chuich; several dwelling
houses on Fifth
of land on Hempstead Plains, now
known as garden City with tho villas,
&c., worth from $3,000,000 to $.5,000,-
000 ;an immense amount of mill proper
ty at GlenJiam, near Fishkill landing)
J the Union hotel at Saratoga, the most
gigantic hostelry in the world; the
llotel tor workiugwoman, 011 Fourth
avenue and Thirty-second street
besides almost innumerable houses
iu this eity and tracts of suburban
property as well.
By th« provisions of his will, drawn
somtiine since by his personal friend
and legal adviser, Judge Jlcnry Hil
ton, the great merchant prince of
America directed the future course of
the house lie had founded and to
which the best energies of Ids lifoj
had been devoted. It provides that
the man who accompanied him on his
trips to Europe, who was hid confiden
tial adviser in all busiuoss affairs, the
one above all others who can direct
the future business of the house of A.
T. .Stewart & Co., shall conduct the
business of that firm under the same
name. That man is Judge Ililtoi,. He
is associated with Mr. Win. Libby, his
only surviving partner. Mr. Libby
came into tin employ of Messrs, A. I'.
Stewart & Co., between .'twelve and
fifteen years ago as business man
agcr of the New York Broadway
Chambers and Head streets. A few
years after his admission Mr. William
Libby was admitted as a partner of the
house,and placed in charge of down
town store. At that time the merchant
prince had extended his business to
every portion of the world. The firm
directed by that master miiul was
composed of the principal, Alexauder
T. Stewart of New York; Mr. Wor»
den,of Paris, France; Mr. Fox, Man
chester, England and Mr. Libby, of
New York. The controlled
by the fii 111 were located at Boston,
Mass.; Philadelphia, Pa.; Paris
France; Lyons, France; Manchester,
England; Bradford, England; Not
tingham England, Belfast, Ireland;
Glasgow, Scotland; Berlin, Prussia;
Chemnitz, India: and New York. It
was a'peculiar feature of A.T. Stew
art & Co. that they considered their
houses to he so well known to the
people of the world that no signs or
indications of the Ann name were
ever allowed to apt>ear in the front
of their places of business.—Wilming
ton Journal.
A IVIKB OLD WOXAH,
Lancaster has lost one of the {post
mysterious character* in (be [>er*m of
a woman aged sixtystliroe, named
Manny Henderson, supposed to be a
witch. Hhe was conscious to the last
and in anticipation of her death ex.
pressed a wish to have no clergyman
or religious services at her burial.
Hid iu the different part* of the room
was found $52 in money, twenty of
it itt some pennies, and
the remainder in notes of old , .State
banks, some good, some worthless. In
another room were about two barrels
of stones, bricks, ifcc., which had been
thrown into the house by bad boys;
in another room were knives, a gun,
|>owder, shot and caps, and in another
about four barrels of cakes, which had
been given to her by difiercnt parties
and were dried up, besides pies, etc.,
tied up carefully, all of which she
refused to eat because of her appre
hension tliat some one was trying to
poison her.
Dr. Swing said in a recent sermon
in Chicago that' latterly wine had not
done as much harm a» lace," and the
congregation applauded.
Tllli FICDTINU KDITOK.
1 i Oi" i' ' .• Tv
The rtccntrisit to Now York of
Col. Horace Featlierstock, (he voters
an Arkansas jounalist, recalls an ani
mated and hitherto unpublished pas',
sago in tho-earlier days of that gentle
man's variegated career. In that time
and place a vigorous muscular devel
opment, quick eye, and steady nerve,
wore counted of no less value in the
editor's equipment than a powerfu l
mind, Tho rugged and impulsive
nature of tho inhabitants led them to i
hastiness in tho scttlemen ot persona
disputes that prospered the undcrtak
ers even at times whei»all othor busi
ncss pursuits languished. In thi,
respect they differed materially fron
their more philosophical fellow-citi
zens of tlie Easf. Ilere, if, a* migli
happen in even tho best-regulatec
office, au error crept into the paper
' tho agrieved party would call quietli
and courteously and state his case
securiug as courteous a correction
there t(ia ollended person walked ii
behind a pistol, and casually expresscc
a belief that if the editor was a rapii
writer lie might possibly get tho re l
traction written before he had fiuishot
all the Bhots.iuhis revolver.
In many cascS this aggressive actioi
aroused equally combative qualities ii
the editor, and it not in frequent I;
happened that one or the other \va
killed. These circumstances gradual
ly developed the so-called flgting edi
tor, a picturesque and powerful eha
ac'.cr peculiar to American journalism
To him were referred all questions o
dispute involving personal argument
lie was the chivalrous, open-hearted
and brave representative ot a class
now nearly extiuct, whose character
has suffered only from the reckless
exaggeration oflocal historians, them,
selves luxuriant products of the same
soil.
Col. Feathcrstock was scarcely j
twentysone when lie entered the office
of the Kaglevillo Tri- Weekly Tovia«
katvk anb Mirror, and lie had bee*
there scarcely tlireo weeks when the
summary and scientific manner in
which he ejected a powerful back*
woodsman, who had ventured to re"
monstrate against a savage person a
reference to himself, determined the
chief to appoint Fcatherstock to the
arduous and responsible position ot
fighting editor; a post which ho held
tor seven years with honor to himself
and oredit to his paper. 11c was a
good shot, and Similar in his sudden,
ncss to lightning. It is said that du.
ring his stay in the Tomahawk office
he killed nineteen men. In fact, the
number of these who blundered in
their dealings with him was so great
that it becamo a current humorous
saying in the region that Fcatherstock
kept a graveyard of his own.
There lived in a neighboring county
a gigantic and bloodthirsty ruffiafir
who had often heard of the renowned
fighting editor tf{Us r Toih(ih(tick,ti\i{\,
having held his Wn, and sometimes
more, with everybody ho had ever
met. he re sol tod to go to Kaglevillo
and clean out the Colonel. When lie
appeared iu the Tomahawk office lie
might, but f«/r his groat size,' furious
aspect, have been mistaken fbr the
drummer of a firearms establishment.
All his poketa wore lull of assorted
weapons, and his belt looked like a
fence with pistol. He stalked in
witli an air of brutal insolence, and
said to I lie Colonel:
"Are you the Tomahawk'i lighting
editor?"
The Colonel modestly allowed that lie
was.
"I urderstand you keep a select
burying ground of your own.
"Yes," said tlio Colonel, *'l must
admit tliut 1 do tind it necessary to
kefep a private cemetery."
The rulHau reached dotvu in his
right-band unUkle coat pocket, and
lifted out an immense old fashioned
revolver that bore a striking resem
blance to a young Catling gun. lie
swaggfcred up to the Colonel, and
banged the muzzle of tho pistol down
so savagely that it made a docp dent
hi the desk, and tlte words that ac
companied the action were;
'■Well, I've come, by C—l>, to be
buried in tbat graveyard!"
For Uie flrsf (and last) time in hU
life the Colonel weakened. 11 seemed
to liiui that lite bad never seemed so
sweet as just at tbat moment —a sen
timent tostered, doubtless, by the
knowledge tbat be was standing face
to face with a man who was fully de
termined to kill him. But if tor an
instant liis courage wavered, his suav
ity never forsook him, and bo looked
' up with a smile: ' ~
" 1 am rigbt sorry, my friend, tbat
1 can't accomodate you, but my grave
yard is fall. There really isn't room
for another one."
"1 was afraid yon couldn't find
room in it tor me," said tlie stranger,
and he wrapped Ids words iu a sneer
tbat made the Colonel tbiuk that life
wasn't worth a cent. If the stranger
bad answered the Colonel with pleas
ant words, be might have retired ou a
great victory, but that sneer changed
the whole programme. The Colonel
foacbed under bis desk to the pistol
shelf, and brought out a weapon that
looked like the elder brother of the
stranger's shooting iron. The ex
pression of his face was changed,, but
he went on talking in the same cheer,
ful measured way, just as thoogh
without interruption he wtu atkiLiig
to his previous remark:
"But though that one is closed, lull'
1 have just opened a new cemetery,
and my sexton has dug a sample grave
that I should think [here he ...ran Ins
eye deliberately along the stranger
from his feet to his eyes, and fixed
them there } would fU von."
The stranger's grip on himself was
gone. The chango had boeti toe suds
den for him. Of all the crowd that
the altercation had drawn into the
room, the Colonel was tho first to res
alize the change, and most accurate in
his estimate of its extent. lie pro
ceeded plcasautly and deliberate
ly:
"ATow, I inav have conveyed to you
when you first camenu that this is not
ou« of my reguiar slaughtering dnvs r
but at tho same time if you insist ''
The Colonel tugged at the hammer
of his pistol, but the lock was rusty.
Probably distrust saved tho stranger's'
life ; he didn't insist, but turned and
started off; and before the Colonel
cduld get his pistol to a full cock the
stranger was on the otherskki of the
, door, walkiug away, sad aud thought
ful.— SUU.
A nniur HINTORY OF THK I»
pvm.ir.
. 1776—The worst, penman in Ameri
ca signed the declaration of liutcpen
deuce, and the United States is boru
Jenner invents vaccination, and Gar
rick, disgusted with amateur 11a uileti
quits the stage forever.
1786 —Articles of confodcratior
treaty with Morocco; Columbia Col
lege, New York, founded but no cre»
entered for the regatta.
1796—Tennessee, nature's hoo;
pole and tar respositorr, admitted t'i
the Union \Vasliington steps dowi
aud out without any handsome prss
cuts or itching for a third terin
Susau anthony Just getting into so
ciety and smashing male hearts gou
•rally.
I^oo—Foulton hopes to blow up tin
world l okid invents steamboats. Tot a
eclipse this year of the son aud Aaron
Hurr. First soup IKMISO iu the work!
Established.
1816—Indiana admitted to tli
L'nion. Treaty with Algiers. I>l
Muiy Wulker first meditates panta
loon*.
1826—Adams and Jeflerion die
Sing Sing prison built aud slocket
ivith the great spirit of the age. En
fllsh gramma kicks the bucket in the
»crsoii of Lindlev Murray. Aboul
:his time the "little hatchet" story woi
sarved out of gossamer.
1836—Arkansas admitted, Seniiuoli
var, railways begin to tlay theii
housauds. Tlw baggage, smashci
ipriug* into existence. Anthony nc
ouger doles on slutc*pcncils aud pick
e», but aspires to suspenders. Dav'j
Jrockett kills hl« last "bar." ' 1
1846—Tlie sacred order of''Mexicai
Veterans" is founded. The author o
he Star Spangled Haulier diet am
oaves the country weeping. Undci
1M iiiliucnce of a ucw invention
:ulk»d the touches, the country recovi
■ i V , . .. ,
1859—Kansas begins to bleed, am
16 does stunner's head. Basesball am
icwing machine agents spring into ex
steiico. Mrs. Bouthworth writestwen
:y-flvc red-hot novels
1866—Andrew Johnson vetoes ever;
tiill except his washwoman's. Fe
nanism "goes up," and the Atlauti
rnlile goes down, A bunt this tin*
Beecher sees Elizabeth quite frequent
snd Scrgont Dates having escaped froo
I lie lunatic a*) luiti continues hie 11 uj
perambulations.
1876—One hundredmiltfon acres,al
in I'liiladclphia. Everybody's goinj
it ihoy walk. Board $lB a day. Ou
biscuit aud tlsL-ball 92,60. Stripe,
slocking lovelier than ever. St Louii
wins the bene ball
11-ioplahl— A ß . I'.JVMM.
THK TBST rMKKtS,
A young man from one of our sub.
urban districts was in one of our tailor
shops getting measured for a vest the
other afternoon; ' Married or Mil.
married ?' queried the merchant, after
taking down the number. ,'Unmar
riod,' said the young man with a blush.
' Inside pocket on the left hand side*
then, observed the tailor, hs if to him
self, making a memorandum to tha t
effect. After a moment's pause, the
young man from the suburbs inquired.
' What difference does my being
married or unmarried make with the
inside pocket of the vest?' 'Ah, my
dear, sir,' observed the the tailor with
bland smile,' all the difference pos
sible, as you must see. Being unmar
ried, yo want the pocket on the left
side, so as to bring the ,young lady's
picture next to your heart.' 4 But
don't the married man also want his
wife's picture next to his heart?' quer
ied the anxious youth. 4 Possibly
there is an instance of that kind,' said
the tailor, arching his eyebrows, ' but
1 never heard of it.'—Dornqwryj-A*#u *,
NO. 12-
A IXKVT AND »TAIITI,n« VU \T~
IIHK »r TRB I'KNTKN.XUI/ HX
BIBITION. .
[N.Y. World.] . .
In the proclamation relative In- the
openir g of the Philadelphia Cmiteij*
nial r which General Grailt made lank
year to ell nations, Ibestated that it
was proposed among other things to
exhibit ''■ such articles and materials n»
will illustrate the function* and ads
inimstrative faculties of the govern
ment."
The list would be too Bong: to gave
entire, and it would moreover not he
treating the expected viators to the
Centennial fairly, to deprive tliem of
the pleasure of the surprise which the
President is evidently intending to
give them. The tollowiug, however,,
are a part of the proposed exhibit:
The "functions" will be illustrated
i« a variety of ways. There w'll be a
i gallery of pout raits of those- of the
Grant family who have received offi*
r ess. Brotheir-in-law Corbiu will be
represented as a poor old man, sheds
* ding tears before the Investigating
. Committee of in referenco to the
s old eons piracy ; brother-in-law Cra-
I mcr in the act of having his nose pnIK
1 ed in public while representing the
e nation in a foreign country, for eotw
e duct unbecoming a gentleman; our
> brother "Orvil," as tlie- model sutler
and contractor in general for the
swiW from the kitchens of the While
K House; brotlier-inMnw Dent as door
keeper to the Executive Mansion, and
i- general job commission agent; brothv
i_ crsiu-law Casy as presi iiug over the
i_ whiskoy and gerneral corruption ring,
•s in New Orleans; Babcoek will show
if how real estate is measured iu Wash
ington and how papers disappear
i, from the White House. The admin
s istratire faculties will be Illustrated
v by wax "Aggers" of Belknap, with an
exact model of tn«dli>g-.poet; and
p Sober 1 ok and a plan of the Emma.
a Mine. William's landaulet, with the
i late Attorney General sitting in it, has
•» boon specially sent for. General But
. tier in brass, and nsistod by Jayno
s and Sanborn, will exemplify the spy
- and grab svstoih. Specimens ot the
money wliieh-tlie favorite "torso" of
i New York took as liis share of the
I plunder of Now York merchant*
whom he preferred to rub rather tlmn
protect, will be shown by special ar
rangement. "Flgge»" in baked
cartheuwcrc will represent Tom Murv
phy, Colonel Luckcy, Joyce the con
vict, Boss Shepherd, Columbus Dela
no and Fred G.innt. Siinou Cameron
will appear in tlie flesh, wearing as a
guerdon the vote of con sore-passed by
the House of Representatives on hi*
inal-adinlntstmtioii oft he
ineut. Morton will be there r along
with an effigy of Hcltubuld selling bu
chu.
It is understood that the minions of
foreign despots are iu treaty to secuiv
the wliole show and exhibit in fturop.r
after the Centennial, at an Illustration
ol American Republicanism, but Gens
eral Grant thinks he can make more
money oivt of it by retaining and ex
hibiting it as a perinanieut institution
Iu connection with liis farm at St.
Louis, after hi* retirement.
Browu came l.one late I'ie othe'
night, and Mrs. 8., reaching out of
the ; bedroom window, said: " Se
you've been tipping the glass again,
have you?" u Glass," aaid Blown,
'' (hic/U a funny word > iake off the
*g' ami it's you my dear." * Yea,"
answered the wife, and tlien take off
the'l'and its you wretch," uid ah»
slammed down the window with »
jounce.
Ilia teeth began to cEutter over tire
i »-cream. He buttoned up his jacket
and swallowed another mouthful-
That settled it. He jumped up from
the table and started to where the sun
cou'd shine ou him, exclaiming. 'Whw
|>ee ! Plenty damu cold grub ! No
coffee miff I Freeze belly all same
lika ice-wagon."— Alia Califomin.
Thus talks an old farmer about hi*
boys: " From sixteen to twenty
know more tluuf I did;
they knew as much ; at thirty they,
were willing what 1 had to
say . at thirty-five they asked my ad
vice ; 1 tli ink when they g.:t to forty
they will acknowledge that the old
man know* something."
An old miser iu the Puah|>a!ap set
tlement, on Pearl I liver, recently, by
mistake, gave a beggar a ten dollar
gold coin instead of a copper two cent
piece. When he discovered his error
he went out twice daity for a week to
a secluded sjiot and cowhided himself
soundly.
Mr. Muggins says there is no coun
try in the world where the wives are
more worshipped than in France. He
regrets, however, that tbe adoration
comes from somebody else's haahand.
An English revivalist slid down the
liannixters of his pulpit to show how
, (HX'ple went on back: liding.