Newspapers / The Alamance Gleaner (Graham, … / Oct. 16, 1877, edition 1 / Page 1
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THE ALAMANOE GLEANER. a • V* ' , - 0- '. * . ' VOL 3 THE GLEANER PUBLISHED WEEKLY BY K S. PARKER Ornhnni, ."V. C, • Kate* of Subscription. Posiaye raid : Otae Year *I.BO fix Months 75 iiree Months .5o Every person sending us a club of ten •subscribers with the easli. entitles himself to Otic copy free, for the length, of time for Ariiii'.h the club is made up. Paper? sent to tifrerent offices. 7fn Departure from the Cash System ot ailrnrlining Transient advertisements payable in tfance; yearly advertisemete quarterly idvance. |1 m. 12 m. 13 m. I 6 m. j 12 m. 1 quare 00 $3 00;.54 008 f> 00 $lO 00 ! 3 00 4 501 6 00l 10 001„15 00 Transient advertisements $1 per square for he first and fifty cents f>r eaehsubscrib incut insertion. -i THIS PAPER IS ON FUJI WITH Where Advertising Contract* c*u be iruUU? | Natio naillotcl Raleigh 2V. C\ BOAED M FEB DAY" (: S Brown, Propria tor. The table iaaarpassed by 110 house in tlie State. If you wis 11 to be pleasantly and comfortable located, stop at tlie National, fronting tiie Capitol Square, The National is located withlu fifty yards * of tlie State Ilouse, it is the most convenient, attractive and pleasant headquarters for members of the Legislature in the city. Terms are low to suit the times, fare unsur passed. attention and accommodations the best. . 1 * Saloon and Billiards nbasement. Two of the b«*st Tables in h City, for tlie use ot guests, free of charge. Dec. 12th. 1876. JOHN CHAMBERLAIN GREENSBORO, N. C., " K " JEWELLER DKALEU IN % FINE WATCHES, JEWELRY, Sterling Silver, and Plated- Wire, FINE SPKCTACI.KS. and everything else in my line. W Special attention given to the repairing and timing of Fine Watches and Regulators. 1 offer you every possible guarantee tuat whatever you may buy of we shall be genu lne and Just a* represented, and you shall pay no more for it than a fair advance on the wholesale cost, Goodt ordered shall be fur nished as low as if purch*«*U in person at my r-uuiter. I have made in the handsomest ' manner. Hair Chain*. Hair Jtwtlrr. Dlamand mm* WeMiai Mian, all kiada tfPisr Jewelry, GaM and Milrer Wa«cb Caaea, eie,, eic. machinery and otiier appliances for jnakin« the different parts oi Watches, Is perhaps the moat extensive in the State, con sequently I can-guarantee that any part of a watch or clock can be replaced with the ut most facility, iW" 1 guarantee that my work will com pare favorably in efficiency and finish with any in the land. . fcJOHN CHAMBERLAIN, Watch Maker and Jeweler, Greensboro, N., DR. W. F. BASON," Dentist, Would be pleased to attend the calls of a 1 in Alamance and adjoining counties who appreciate the best condition of their Own or C HILDKKN'S TEETH.— N. B. Communications through P. O. at Haw River, N. C., or otherwise will b« at tended the first opportunity fIaTTBBTH extracted without pain(if best) and ABT. Pimnn on short notice _£V U barges, very moderate. BAD/A SOLD; °B,— ; A Handsome Fellow Taken Down. BY H. A. [From the Sunny South.] 'I am going to many that girl.' 'Aie you, indeed?' 'Mark my word, Graham, she'll be Mrs. FUzsimuious before next Christ mas.' 'But you have made no advuiiV es.' 'Not as yet. I shall devote the coining few weeks to that. There can be no doubi about the result, you know. Ah, Graham, there's the ad vantage of being handsome.' Charles Graham averted his face to hide the amuse 1 smile he could not wholly suppress. They were strolling on (he beach, these two men, filling up the time between breakfast and luneheon ill an eflort to be sociable. For only that morning they had met for the first time in their lives, a.d hid sought each olhor's society lor no other pur p >se than to kill the lime that Ifung so heavily on their hands. High bench was a slow going sea side rosort,witl> only one hotel, but tlio locality was simply superb, and those who de sired to pass A quint summer awav troin the annoyance and inspection of fashionable well to ca3t anchor at Highbeach. "Augustus Fitz*immons and Charles GrahVtm bad, on tho preced ing day, arrived from different dN rcctions. and befog slightly in advance of everybody else, Inid taken it-.upon themselves to amuse one another. They were unlike as night and day. Fit/.simmoiis was one ot your lardy* dardy swells, who delight to "cut a dash' among the ladies, and display th 3 latest styles in gentlemen's wear ing apparel. He wore patent leather boots, a quizzing glass, Dundreary whiskers and lavender kids. He was undeniably handsome, but his was that type of the handsome face that expresses no character. Grahaip, on the other hand, was a modest, unassuming, good nalured sort of a fellow, who lacked much of being handsome. liis features were irre -ular, almost to homeliness, but were so sin ugly marked as to render them almost attractive, while the sym metry of bia form was somewhat mar red by a slight stoop of tho should-, ers. Yet he was every inch a man, and one who never w anted tor friends of i ho l ight sort. 'This young iady must bo very beau tiful,' said Graham, continuing the sonversation, 'since you are so de termined to marry her." •Oh! she's a perfect angell' ex ufeimed his enthusiastic companion. 'Venus herself could not have been more lovely.' 'You say her name is Edith Brans don ? •Yes.' 'And that she is coming this very day to Highbeach?' 'The landlord told me she would certainly arrive this morning with her mother.' 'Humph! where did yon first meet her, if J may ask?' *At Newport la3t summer. She was the belle of the season.' •You have not seen her since?' 'No. I think she has been travels ing in Europe with her parents.' 'And yet you have made up your mind to marry her? "I have." 'Probably she is already married. You do not know what might hare occurcd within a year.' '.Nonsenselif that had been the case the landlord would have told me. He simply informed me that among the guests who would arrive to-day were Mrs. Colonel JJraudon and daughter of Boston^' Graham bit his lip, and a close ©&%, server might have detected a merry twinkle in bis eye. •It is not quite clear to me.'be said, 'how you have decided so irrevocably to marry Miss Brandon, since you never spoke of love to ber.' Fitzsimmons laughed gaily, and stroked his flowing whiskers. •Oh! that is easy enough.' he re plied. "Girls are susceptible, you know. It would be natural for a man of vonr appearance to entertain doubts of success in 6ucli an under taking ; but—but —there's no use iu mincing matters, you kuow. I sop pose you know yot| aj-§ ljouiely. at^d GRAHAM, N- C., TUESDAY, OCTOBER 16 1877 are not sensilit.vo on that point—eh. old tellew?' •'Not in the least,' returned Gra ham, goooMiaturedly, yet wondering at the unexampled impudence ot the man. , •Qf course,' added his companion, 'there's a vast difierence between— ahem!—your personal appearance and initio. Experience has taught tnc that a man, to be utterly irresist ible in the eyes of a woman, must be blessed with handsomo features, an elegant figure and plenty of mon ey.' 'Such as you possess,' said Gra ham. '1 don't want to Lo guilty of boasting,' suid Augustas, affecting a modest, air, 'but I enjoyed the honor ot being tne handsomest man at New* port last season. So yon see 1 have a pardonable confidence in my ability to win this young lady.' 'Oh, certainly; a man must be mad to doubt for an instiut that she is vonrs for the asking." said Graham, looking out over the sea. Then, after a brief silence, he a)ded: "But come; let us return to the house. I dare say your Venus has arrived ere th : s, as the train is due at ten.' 'I sincerely hope she has J' said Augustas, as they directed their steps to the hotel. 'I will introduce you Graham, and let you judge tor yours self whether she is the b auty I pictured her or noW' 'Thame you.' was the dry respon- 'But yon must promise not to cut uic out," laughed the conceited Adonis, jestingly. "I am not handsome enough far tbat,' smiled Graham. 'A candid confession my dear fellow. Allow uc to say I am coutoundcd glad you are not hand* some enough." On reaching the house they learned that Mrs. Colonel Brandon and daughter had indeed arrived but were in their respective r joins. 'l'll just go up and elaborate on my toilet a little,' said Fitzsiimons. 'This is an occasion that requires much precision in dress, you know.' And with a wink and flouiish of his cane, ho ran npttairs to his room. He spent more time in I he rearrange ment of his toilet than a girl ofthe period would have donq ;but it was an occasion demanding usual care, in asmuch as he had concluded to marry Miss Brandon, and must make a good impressian at the outset. lie turned and twisted himself in front of his full-length mirror won a victory over his cravat after a tiresome battle* assured himself that not a speck of dust or lint adhered to his clothes, smiled his sweetest smile and rehears ed his favorite bow. Then, satisfied that 110 feminine heart could withstand his charms, be went tripping dowu stairs to lay siego to the particular one he had resolved to capture. A servent informed him that Miss Brandon had co.~e down, and was walking iu the garden. Ah! just the place to ineot her—among, the flowers. He would join h«r without delay. He strolled out to the little flower* garden that attorned the hotel ground, smiling complacently as he went. Ho glanced around, but did not sec her. He sauntered down one of the gravel walks. 'As he nenrod the arbor, he heard voices*- within. Yes, she wai there, but somebody was witli her. Only her mother as a matter of course. There was no reason to hesitate on that account. With this thought in his mind he stepped boldly forward and stood iu Lie entrance to the arbor. Yes there was Editb Brandon, in all her glorious beauty, sitting on a rustic bench among the clustering roses. But she was not alone; a man sat beside her; and —could ho behove his eyes?—that man was no other than Charles Graham. Augustas stood and stared. Gra«: bam rose to bis f-ct and with a pleasant smile and said: 'All I Mr. Fitzsimmons, allow mc to introduce yoa to my wife —form- erly Miss Brandon, whom I believe yoa met at Newport last summer. My dear,l presume you will recognize au old acquaintance in Mr. Fitaim mous.' Augustus was speechless, lie did not raturn the lady's graceful bow, bnt sinplv stood and stared. •Prebaps I neglected to tell you that I was a married man,' continued i Gvabam, with mfwhjevous gravity. 'I came here in advanc3 of my wife and mother-in-daw, in order to procure suit able rooms for them bctore they arrived, and I—' Hat Augustus Piusimmons, over whelmed with confusion and mortification, turned on his heel and fled percipitately to the house. lie lost no /iine in packing his trunks and that very cveniughe de> parted from Ilighbcach, a wiser if not a huppier man tor the lesson he had learned. l>EfiAli Axn POIiSTIC.t I, Q U A I.l* IICATIOM*, About a dozen years ago Governor \— and Judge \V— were candidates for Congress in (he wildest of the Arkansas districts. They were both fa»vsighted. shrewd politicians—the Judge the better lawyer and debater; the Governor by far the more wins uhig in his manners, as the sequel will fully establish. One hot day in July, while they were traveling to gether on the canvas?, they camo up> on a party of twenty men or. more assembled on the roadside tor the purpose o! having a shooting match. Thinking it a good time and place for presenting their respective claims the Governor proposed stopping. They halted, and the Governor soon made himself at home. He bought a number of chances in tho "match" and, being a good marksman, suc ceeded well, winning quite a quanti ty ot beef, which constituted the prize. The Judge hud conscientious scruples as lo shooting matches, and did not participate, but stood by converting with the more sober of tho crowd, while his triend. the Governor, was in high glee with bis companions over their beef. When the beef was given out to the successful shooters our Governor ordered his to be dis vided among some poor widows, who he ascertained lived in tho vicinity, mid then asked tho b'hoys if they wore not '-dry." Of course they were, and the Governor generously ordered a plc«tiful supply of the «oh bejoyfa',l' Here again tho Judge had scruples, and did not participate; but, had it been otherwise, it would have availed nothing. Tho Governor was decidedly the inau at the shoot ing match, while the Judge telt him self emphatically in tho vocative. Leaving thole friends, they proceed ed on their way some twelve or fifs teen miles, »nd halted at a camp ground where tho annual campsineet ing was being held. They seperated in l»e crowd, each electioneering with all his might with old and young, friendsand strangers making hay while the sun shone—'for there was indeed a a fine opening. To» ward night the Judge began to look round for his distinguished opponent, but could find him nowhero. lie waited patiently till services begau, and concluded he would go to the laige shtd where the people had assembled for meeting, thinking per haps lie might meet his friend. On going out, what was his astonishment to fiud the gallant Governor, tho lie-* ro of the shooting match, in front of the alter, surrounded by ministers and class-leaders, with a hymn book in his hand, head thrown back, sing ing as 'oud as lungs would permit, liuw ti.ra a foundation, ye saint* of the 'From that moment,' said the Judge, 'I guve up all hopes. I tell you, a man that's good tor a cauip mceting and a shooting match can't be beat for Congress; it can't be done, sir!' „ And so it proved. A circular addressed to the negroes of De Soto parish, La., closes thus: As the Egyptians took their journey from Egypt to the land of Canaan so we will take our journey from Ameri ca to the land of Liberia. A ra&n without fear of the '•devil before his eyes" passed through Clarkeaville. Texas, the other day. He had written on bis wagon "Dam Texas, bound for Arkinsaw." A boarding honse mistress, like the rest of us. lias her weak and btrong points, the weak point being her coffee, and her stong j»oint the butter.— Philadelphia Bulletin. It issueless lor physicians to argue agaiust short-sleeved dresses. The constitution ot the United States says that "the right to beaif arms shall not interfered HOW MODI ft OP tinOLANO'M KUI.BRS DIED, William the Conquerer died from liis enormous fat, from drink, and from the violence of his passions. William Rufus died the deatli or the poor stag that lie hunted. Henry the First died of gluttony. llenry the Second died from a broken heart, occasioned by the bad conduct of his children. Richard Coeur de Lion died like the animal from which his heart was named by an arrow from an an cher. John died, nobody knows how, but it is said of chagrin, which we stip- j pose is another term for a dose oi i hellebore. Henry the Third is said to have died a natural death. Edward the First is likewise said to haye died of natural "sickness," which it would puzzle all of the cok lege of physicians to denominate. Edward the Second was most bar barously murdered by ruffians em ployed by his own mother. Edward the Third died of dotage, and Richard the Second of starvation, the very reverse of George the Fourth. Hemy the Fourth is said to have died of fits, caused by uneasiness, and uneasiness in palaces iu those times was a very common com* plaint. Henry the Fifth is said to have died "of a painful affliction, prema turely." This is a country phrase for getting rid of a kins. „ Ilenry the Six* died in prison, by means known then only to hia jailnr, and kuown now ouly to lleav en. Edward the Fifth was strangled in the tower, by his uncle, Richard the Third. Richard the Third was killed in battle. Henry the Seventh wasted away as a miser ought to do, and Henry the Eight di*d of carbuncles, iat and fury, while Edward the Sixth died of a decline. Queen Mary is said to have died ot a broken heart, whereas she died of a surfeit, euting too much of a black pudding. Old Queen Bess is said to have died of melancholy, from, having sacrificed Essex to his enemies. James the First died of drink» iug. Charles the Frst died on the scaf fold and Charles the Second died suddenly, it is said, of sppoplexy. William the Third died from conW sumptive habits of body, and from the stumbling of bis horse. Queen Anne died from her attach ment to "strong water," or in other words, from drunkenuess, which the physicians politely called the drop ay- George the First died of drunken ness, which his physicians as politely called an appopletic fit. George the Second died of rupture ol the heart, which the periodicals of that day termed a visitation of God. George the Third died as he lived— a mod-man. Throughout fife he was at least a mouarch. G jorge the Fourth died of gluttony aud drunkenness. William the fourth died ainiist the sympathies of his subjects. Tickle the public and mako it grin I The more you tickle the more you'll win! Bat teach the public—you'll never grow rich, i Bnt lire like a beggar and dio in a ditch 1 [Belgrnxia. An agricultural correspondent j writes to correct what be thought to be an erroneous statement that res ceutly appeared in this column rela* tive to oows giving buttermilk. We aduere to our original statement. We never saw a cow give anything else but her milk.— llawkeye. Snow on Mount Washington and yellow fewer at Fernandina. Vot a countre, vot a beoplest—2V". F. Com mercial yldverlifer. N0,32 Spotted Tail and Little Big Man were in Pittsburgh the other day, on their way to Washington. The Pis patch ray a: "S Tail, Esq., when he first caught sight of our ruins nudged Mr. L. B. Man, and then winked with both eyes, exclaiming under his breath. "White man raise much h—ll round here." And after tbat his face again assumed the expres sion of coolness that characterizes a cannon ball before it is fired. Far be it from us to doubt the word of $ brother editor. We believe them to be truthful men; but when the Durand Times says that the water is so low at the mouth of tne Chip pewa River that catfish have to em ploy mud turves to tow them oyer the bar, we feel as though the editor was away and some local minister filling his place. " . Mrs. Hayes was sure that she locked up the White House wine and put the key in her pocket before she left Washington with the Presi* dent; but here comes a telegram from the capital citv saying that Rogers, the President's private secretary had fallen down stairs and dislocated his elbow. Discussing the vacancy of the Federal Su x re me bAhch General Toombs said that John A. Campbell, of Louisiana, should be restored to the position Irom which he retired at the beginning of the war. Toombs considers Campbell the greatest law yer on the Continent, without an ex ception. It is understood that one of ques tions pnc to all applicants for lite assurance in Mississippi is as follows: "Are you ruptured, subject to heart disease, of an apoplectic habit, a Republican, or in any other manner likely to die suddenly. Timvion THE TALHI/D, If thy wife be small, bend down to her, and speak to her: do nothing without her advice. Everything in life can be replaced', thy wife of early days is irreplaceable. An honorable man honors bis Wife; a contemptible one dcsulseth her. The loss of a first wite is like ihe loss of a man's sanct uary in his lifetime. The IOWA Methodist Conference resolved to-entreat all mi mater* and members who use tobacco to desist for conscience's sake; and to Tdte for the admission of no one to the Cons fere nee who uses tobecoo, without a pledge that he will abandon it. When you kiss a Fulton girl site half-parts her rosy lips and moistens them with * gentle breath, and then silently presses them to yours, nor breaks the sweet bond until one of the party calls for a breathing spelt —Fulton Timet. Texas hus 1,750,000 people, and only about 750,500. When the war ended Louisiana was the more populous State ot.the two. Three years from now Texas expects to have twenty Congressmen. Ik is rumored—ai»d we publiah it 111*011 good authority, says the 8t Louu Globe-Democrat—that a proßi inent belle of this city is engaged, and will shortly be married to the - Hon. 8. J. Tilden, of New York. Richard Grant White, in his 'F.very dsy English.' says a man may made his owii gram me r but not Ids own pronunciation. Foa instance, he can say Mbem there potatoes.' but nut 'those Haters l —2lorri»town Her aid. Tbe Mobile Register says theimval ■tores trade of that port supports tu'.v ly twenty thousand people. The country which produces these naval stores is couflned to that belt of piuy woods that lies tu the immediate vi cinity of the city. Since Key s wore off in New England and con verted himself, President Hayes i» the only Democratic member of the administration left.— PhUaddphia Time^
The Alamance Gleaner (Graham, N.C.)
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Oct. 16, 1877, edition 1
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