ripi a •
,L HE ALAMANCE GLEANER.
VOL- 6 -
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"■''nil seiiiHng us a chit) of ten sr.M I
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fftcup. I'apcr. to different otliees j
frnvt tue Cash t>y*lem >
iia te- of AiSrrrllninU
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esr ' .' l in. ~ I"- '«• I 0 111 ■ l2
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, )|h "rtrst,.aad lUty cents for each subse
lueot insert'""! • ...
O i; it 4J »> V li It IV ,tl l£ N r •
Ofceera of the FtJeral Komrnuiful.
TIIE EXKCOTIVE.
ButherfoHl li. Hayes, ot Ohio, lVesiclect of
A Slm of New York, Vice
hwh'Mlvf th- United. States.
THE CABINET.
Willism M. Ev arts, 1.1 N.w Voi k, Secretary
of S »te ,
John Sherman, ft Ohio, B"cy. "f lreasury.
tt M Mei'rary, Si-eretary of War
Kici.ard W. Thompson, of Indiana, Secre
tary „f ilie Navy.
Carl Shuri, ot Missouri Sec y. of the Interior.
Charles Devens, o! Maasachusetts, Attorney
lieiiHrsl.
Ddviil M. Key, of Teenncseoe, I )Slr*.Rster
wll;,a', TH n jI'DICI l KV.
tltE SL'PKEME COL'KT OI" TIIE VNITEO
STATES.
Morrison li. Wait, d Ohio, Chief Justice.
Natiiaa CiiiFuril of Maine,
N»ali H. Sway ne, of .Ohio,
baaiuel J. Miller, of lovVa,
Ilnvid Davis, of Illinois.
Stephen J. Field of.California,
William M Strong, of Pennsvlvanin,
J-aepli I'. liraill y, of .New .lers.y,
W.inl Hunt, of NeV York Assoeiaie Justices.
OUK NT*TK tfortuwamtrr,
EXEECC'TIVE DKI'A ItTJ^EN't'.
Thoaias J. .larvis of Pitt, Governor.
L»:iwes L. Uobinion, of Macon, Lieutenant-
Governor.
\V. L Satiiifler's, of New Hanover, Secretary
(if State.
John M. Worth, of Randolph, Treasurer.
Donald IV. Buiii, of Wake, (-'hief Clerk.
T (J. Worth, of Kandoh-li, Teller.
Ur. Samuel L..Love, of Haywood, Auditor.
Tlios. 8. Kenan, of Wilson. \ttorney-Gentral.
Jeliu C. Searboroug.h, of Johnston, Superin
tcn leni of Public Instruction.
. Johnston Jones, of Burke, Adjutant-Genera'.
J. MeLeod Turner', Keeper of tin Capitol.
Sherwood Haywood, of Wake, Stale Libia
riua. ;
JIJDUMKV.
Stt'KEME CoL'ltT.
W. N. H. Sirith. of Hertford. Chief Justice.
John H. Dillard, Thos. b. Ashe, Assoeiates,
, W'. H. Barley, of Wake, i;ierk of Supreme
Cou't.
1). A. Wicker, of Wake, Marshal.
J ROFESSIONAL C'A ÜBS.
JNO. W. GRAHAMj JAS. A. GRAH AM.
Hillsoaro, N. Graham, N- C.
OBABAM &GRAHASI',
ATTOBNKVN AT I.AW,
Practice in the, c talc ontl Fed. ral Conrts,
atteiitiofa paid to collecting.
j7OaiRN()I)LE,
'Attorney at Lain,
OVAUjC.II, IV.C
Practices,in tire Stfrte atid Federal Courts.
Will faithfqliy,and promptly attend to' all busi
ness intrusted to him.
E. 9. PAKEBE,
A T T oil H S;,T,
OKAIIAN. IV. f.
Will attend regularly Hie thjperiwvCourt* of
Alanianop, Caswell, Person, Chatham and Ran
'Jol;.li, and the Federal courts at Greensboro.
Business entrusted 10 Liui shall -have faitiiful
attention,
6-1 SO. ly.
T. B Eldridge,
Attorney I^aw»
fiR All AM, N. 6. »
Practices In the Btatc and Federal Courts.
All bushier Intrusted to hiin f-hall receive
prompt and earfefnl attention.
James E.Boyd,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
, OFPK'RfI AT
Graham & Grec^sfcoro*
.. Practices in all the Courts.
©"Days at Grahain, Mondav, Tuesday .and
Wednesday At Greensboro, I'hursday, Friday
and Saturday. 7 14
s)r. J. W. Griffith
dentist, .
.• ' GRAHAM, N. C.,
o to the profession.
. opeciaf attention .friveu to the treatment of
«'»eageß of ihe MOUTH.
ATTENDED IN TOWN OR COUNTRV
G.Hi School,
GRAHAM, N. 0.
RJV. D.A. LONG. A. M., Principal
gE>.W W.BTALEV, A M.
£EV. W. 8. LOIVG A M.
A. L. COBtK. A. B,
PP® m lut Monday in August and e'nse* tlie fol
***■ Tuition t3-50 and M-SOper mouth,
ri*"" Wto sll per month, 'iiie number -of
♦•Mrtffc rtnlU* io «.
G RAH AM; N-, 0., MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 13,1880.
$ '  > '* j ;» .v c
•!S V O.'i JS H ,-;2.
'•V Oltl !>.
(live me but one wish horn on o irth, i
And tll'Ml IV» Ml -IU [:i ,u i',;,..
tor . y iliat wLii, ii.ll . >; i i wi.rih
i' 1 .Hid no mistake..
Nor wonM iii:il wish for wealth ' c made, '
i' li Mk: • !V. M*h!i f >:■ tl;ej'
And if that wi.-h liy y> were jui 1
1 should contented lie!
1 or well 1 knmv if we were one.
'1 hal then our hearts would irloiv
\Y i lll fervent tove eteh day moro strong i
As on ;.ir,.uz'h li e we'd tjo,
Su.ijiiig new lii'o through every \eiu
Untainted wllh alloy, I
''nii! our lives h-rano ,i strain
Of jiiiie • a apfie j.»v.
Ttt ?: i: am s> o3' ; A «•»?.
A Iter \\ illord Dumoiii mariied Annie
Lmo in it (it ot piqnc and jealousy, l-Jien v
liarlaml oi.ipe his betrothed wile, Miller- 1
oil more than woids can tell.
81)0 had loved hiui in her wild passion- j
ale way, and hud nuver thought she,
could losj isi:u ; hut >-lie had trusted too
much in her own power, a'id another
woman was the wife ■of the young niii
lionaire. Bhe nearly went mad with
rage and pride and wounded passion,
hut she hail bense enough to hide Tier i
heart from evious eyes. As long as she
felt that in WilLrd's presence she would
luru pule, as long as slie con Id not hear
his voice or glance without wincing, she 1
kept out of his w , under pretence or
visiting an aunt at a distance; Lnt in
the sprightly I.' 1 Ins thai she wrote her ;
friends she spoke ot being glad that Wil-1
fold Duiuont had not fell, her dismissal
el him 100 severely 'o be coiniorled, I
• 1
unci when she was once more mistress ol
herself she coded upon the bride, and
iiml Mrs. Dumout, who knew nothing j
oi the old love story welcomed her hear- '
I lily, and told VViiljrd  u his return
home, that she was delighted with his
ot.l Iriend Miss H it land.
'.She cannot have cared for me,'
.thought Wilferd Jliinioiit, with a pang
i nu husband should have felt at siteh a
ihotight, but the litlie wile never guessed
it and it did not harm her. Biie returns
eil the young lady's call and an intimacy
>'l once. So that, when the Du
mout.s w *> nt to ilieir phtce on the Hudson
for the summer Season, Annie bent a
warm invitation lo Miss (larland.
Kill!ii thought it over. It was an oiler
uol 10 be deß|>isi'd by u luobiunauie girl
with a Hiiall iucoiite
She desired lo nutrry, aud hotels at j
waieriug-pueus were expensive. All Ihe
men ot their set would be nt \\ ilt-jftl ;
Dumonl's at one lime or another. The
neighboring residents were peoj.le of po- j
siiion. She eotild dress and ilirl to her ;
heart's eonlent, and \V illord eould see ;
what a priz-i he had lost, even wbi e she ,
gave him plainly to understand that she |
was glad she had escaped the malriuio- j
niul poke. Am! then she wrme a lov-j
iug note to Annie and held an interview ;
wi.h the dress maker.
Ami W illord Diuiiont —well he hud ;
loved this girl and married Annie be.
cause she made him angry. And Annie
wus so sweet and mild and genilju. And
now he was wailing f'oi her coming will>
a guilty tei ling in his heart, lie wanted
to see her, to Ml by her, to hear her
eing. As her Imsl he could 'lo lid?, at
k-usi. lie went to the tit pot to diive
her home. Annie, had, ot course ex
pected him to i.o ihat, but she had not ex
pected what had followed; lor when
they wcie in the little wagonetto yde
by side, and she turned and looked into
his eyes, Wilfjrd DuiiioiH had kissed
the girl. It was night,''and though the
moon was bright, the shady Janes which
led to Duuiont Park were still and lone
ly. No human eyes looked down up n
litem, and their lips had met so often—
oh, so often—betore.
Hut E leu drew hack and flashed sear
let and bhhl :
You forget you arc a married man,
sir. , •
j\ nil Wilfurd answered:
«Vcs I did forget. Pardon me.
'J hat and nothing nl'-re.
•J hen there was silence, each of these
two sufloied in a dilleren t way, and yet
somehow there wa» uiuoh pleasure in
Hie pain.
Alter tins they could «.ot stand on the
Jaim, friendly footing they had bo;hi o,,ed
fur. Me, at least, meant no wrong. N.e
hail hoped that he might be icgretlul ot
the past, but had not dreams J that he
would dare presume upon it.
For au hour oi so alier-tho evening
was over— the long dinner, the n.neic in
ILb parlor, the dark, the wak in the
moonlight, with the young wife , arm
about her waiat-Ellet. intended to make
her viMi fVrry brief. In n 1.t.1e wh.k
hou ever, slu changed her «n jd. She
ivonld 6'ay. V"* . t '", l 11 f, '
who boasted to htr o, her s
love, should sutler a little also. What
was she to come heiween iheiu? And
now all that was evil in Ellen ilarluid's
heart averted itself, and where evil once
abides it glows stronger day bv day.
Sue laughed,she flirted, she danced
with oihor men, but she met Wilford
alone by the banks of tlw river. ••
She sung iluets with this one, looked
merrily into the eyoiol that, but in the
lonely woods Rhe sat by Wi! ford's side
Willi his arm about her waist.
j They talked freely about the past.now.
lie had confessed thai she was yet mine
to him than any other •woman; more,
than his trusting unsuspicious «ile. On
ly that iittle life stood between them,
and olten *As Ellen looked at Arpie, she
fell that she would be glad io see her in I
her colliii.
Vet the end ofjier \i.-it npproached. ,
She musl since she vvwuld have no j
excuse lor lingering, AU-f in her absence |
might not.the wife win the heart ot o.no
\\4io already rc«j»e'.:tl and admired
her, though his passion was aiiotbeis?
Surely.
So. with the fiend's whj-per in hr
oars, Ellen Harland one day walked out
aiotic, making the purchase ol'some little
trifle in tne village as an exalte for a
solitary hour.
For aw bile si.e battled with her hale
for Annie, knowing her to have none
bill ivieiuHy feeling to herself, but it
overpowered her at last.
'if that little thing wore dead,' she
said, 'I should have Wilford tor my own
1 should be the lady ol the Park— hon
ored, admired, beloved. Now 1 walk
here alone, while she fills my place. It
she would hut die!'
1 hen, su Manly - surely, Satan was
whispering in her car* —she. remembered
that she had heard of a drug, which,
though an almost instantaneous pois
on, loft little trace ami was tasteless.
i'\.i a moment she trembled and flung
tlie suggestion troiu her, but Satan is
strong. There was ;i drug store in tlie j
village /mil iliu proprietor -had leit a
yotiiig, empty paled clerk in charge.
The, poison, which would not have
been sold by the older man In any strang
er without a doctor's prescription, was
dealt out without a thought by this boy,
and Eileii went homo • with Iho tiuJT
package hidden in iier bosom.
A.mifc was watching for her coming'
lroui the veranda, bhe came forward
to meet her guest with a sweet smile.
'The others have had lunch/ said she
•hitt i wailed for you. 1 have had our
liille 'ablesot in the bow window, with
the \ iew »l the river. \\ o fchall liave
such a cosy time.'
Then she led the way to the dining
room, and tosdng her hat &nd mantle on
Hsola the \oung hostess po'ircd the coflee
nil I handed a eii|> io her guest, taking
! one lor herself. A:, that riuiiienl eosne
i one cailed from the ball:
'Come, both of you; eouiething to
see.'
Itwaaonly a great pleasure bargo
j going uii the river with a picnic par:v.
1 Ever ready lor an> thing amusing in
j those idle hours Ibe household always
| made a ga.\ pretence ol doep interest in
| these parties.
Annie 101 l (lie little room. K'.len dc«.
la\ ed a minute before she followed. In
"hat litsio space of time she hud emptied
the poison into poor Annie 6 cup of coflee,
and thrust the crumpled paper that held
it back info her bosom.
Annie returned first. As &he 'seated
hcself, she Imppcued to notice that the
cup she had passed to Ellen wus over
filled, It looked untidy, neither had jet
been tasted, and with the natural imputed
ot a carefui hostess, Annie changed the
cup-.
Littte did she guess what she was do*
ing. She only desired to set before her
i uest that wnicli was the neatest. And
little did Ellen know what had happened
in thai brief instant.
She looked to see her lival turn pale.
She watched lor some token that the
poison had begun its work. Instead she
herself feil a strange fainlie*s creeping
over her, was conation# ot a sudden
agony. It was br'cf. The laid rhe had
decreed for the innocent young wife was
to le her o»va, and it came too swiftly
to leave much time lor thought.
Dying, Eilen ll.trland understood only
that ih some way Providence had ontwit
ftd hen
'Pray lor me,' ehc whispered to Annie,
' 'I dare not pray for mvself.'
And villi her hands held fast between
with Annie's tears falling last
upon her pillow, Ellen died.
They found the crumpled paper with
'poison' written on it, in her IMJBOIJI.
The coroner's jury g*ve a ycrdict of
suicide, and reinorae filled Willord I)u»
m )ut s'heart lor he believed that E ieri
llarland f:ad killed hc:»«clf because Bhe
could not.live wjuhuut him.
l,i Lis trouble hs Uiadfc a so:t of a oju-
fcssiou to liis wife. No until ever tiuule
lull and li ne one under sueli ciienmstan
cos. What Annie gathered Iruiu it was,
(hat her own attractions haid made hint
loi uot those of Ellen Uailand, and that
the po a* girl could not endure! Iho sight
of their initial tenderness: and so to this
day ohft believes, and olten goes with her
husband to the church yard where Ellon
lies, ami wiili her own fair hands plants
flowers upon the gj'avo of tho woman
who would fain have done her to death
that she mighl win for hor the husband
who, though not as true and perfect as
Annie believes "him, now loves IK.T very
fondly; loves her though he remembers,
ivith tt pang, thi} p.nsioaate creature
who, lie faneied, died for love of him.
In (his world Hie truth will never be
known, and it is better Ui_.t it should be
so.
OFf-IMKO TAI.HKt.
... *' By Nlin* JltH.
THE PA RAUl.lv OK N tCO DM ML' 3.
Nieodeinus, the son ol Moliab, the son
of Ltelsiitizcr, the son ol Dennis Kearney's
gianit lather, was thirty and nine y ears
old'wheu he began to reign.
And hi* wile man oiled within herself,
and was aiiii-zed.
For had she not been bosn ol the roost
lor a long while? And 'Kas not her
Nieodeinus tho meekest and weakest ol
mortals?
Hilt Nicodemus opened his mouth and
spake unto Iter, saying, '-Verily Matia
Jane, 1 am to be considered the Grand
Mogu) of this establishment henceforth
, and lorever; yea, even as tho , monarch
I inletli his kingdom, so shall 1 sway the
I sct\p(re over my household, aud dou'i
I you it."
! Now Maria Jane waxed wroth, for she
j desired not to give up the breeches, she
I had worn so long.
j And &he marveled again, for she wist
! not what had coine ovei this husband ol
; hers, to make i. iui bristle up and show
his leet. (
And it ea.nc la pass on the second day 
of llie reign ol Nicodeinus, thai his spouse '
camo unto liiui ar.d spake ol HII elegant
new bonnet, which sho had seen in a
shop window and bcsaughl him lo buy
And lot he wcui by ill
Yet in'no other way did he heed her
request, lor he liad sworn in his heart
tuat he wouid not bo ruled by her an*,
other day.
And again, on the third day, she went
unto him, and bcsaughl him sayi>i,g 'Nick
gUiune a leu dollar williaui; 1 must buy
a new switch.
And he rose up in Ids anger and made
unsner,'•'io to; get tiiec behind me!
This is entirely too thin. Thou dost
! unl) seek to hull toze thy husband, and
lmet no need ol a ten dollar w illium, ( jet
lout! I'll be dad thumped if you get a
nickel out of me!''
And behold, there was a great com
motion in the household; and the rail ol
the temple was ivnl in twain, and the
e.;rth ciid quake, ami the rocks rout, ami
siovo wood and boot jacks whistled
through the air.
And much hair and hairpins were
slrctvn around broadcast over the carpet
ami the no»e ol Nieodeiniis bore stiaugc j
likeues« unto a skinned tomato.
liui it was ordained ttiat Nicodcuius
should win Mie victory, and when his
enemy wa'j vanquished ho straightway
flapped his wings and crew.
And there was weeping aud wailing
and gnashing ol teeth, and lor seven
days and seven nights did Maria Jane re
luse lo speak uoids ol recognition to her
' lord
1 Ant! thereafter did Nicodemusdo pret
ty much as he saw fit.
Aud tut re was no one lo say nay.
For his wile trembled and wa* afrai.l.
' And he sat with Ids leet upon the |>i
' alio, and spat upon the stove, and stalk
ed into the parlor with muddy boots;
■ j and u lien lie sat him down at Iho lu»st
! j he did shovel i.« his green peas on the
5 j flit ol his knife and no one struck his
• 1 elbow and said, "Wby Nick."
' N.ither did he obey the law which
' said he must repose upon his bed at nine
'-I o'clock.
f j Yea, when he was weary and athirst,
| he straddled c fl down to the tavern, aud
M got on the outside of sundry horns of
*; norii-juice.
I And many times he camfl home at otio
' 1 o'clock. A. M.. and did stand UJIOII the
dour-siept, while he proclaimed in aloud
1 voice that liia wife had neglected lo
1 leave the key hole in the door lor him.
jjut soon the eueiny compassed around
' | aboxit, and he knew it not lor he wus
• ; too Iriiud to take a tumble.
f i Then, therefore,a spirit appeared unto
" ' him 'ii B dream, aud warned him sa>in»,
1 i"*ff|ge," take np thy «rip sack, fcnarpui
e | thy tw-nftiN and stud/
.! And ho lingered yet longer, and did
scoG at the friendly warning, saying
"Why hearest thou false whnofS? Rat
ion up thy lip, tor thuii art a liar and u
horse-llicit. 1 ain't aleerd of nobody?'
And he Said these-things with much
vehemence, lor lie recked not of tho.
ihin»s thai were.
And it came to pass on (he evening of
the tenth day, that he journeyed home
Irom his work, and found his oothef-ins
law in the house.
And Ike forthwith snssed her and heap
ed contnniely upon her and IIU wife.
And liU uiother-in-law was exceodings
Iv wroth, and nolo him, "Lo, thojn,
art a brute. Thou ncedcsl some one 10
snaich*you bald-headed."
And he braced tip, and made answer
in these words: "Behold Ibis is tho tab
ernacle of Nicodeiuns, and 1 aml lie lighi
thereof; and il thou givest mo any un
necessary chin, I jeivc tlice a free
pass lo the uiiddVdtof next week."
Now wlien she lad licard these things,
she made haste to break a looking-glass 1
over his head, and then baid uulo him,
"it is not meet that thou shouldst rule
over Iho synagogue, for thou hast not
brains enough to fill one of uiy hollow
teeth. If thou Ihinkcsl to make a Parai
disc of thy home, when thou art out every
Eve, then I must call thee Adam fool;
and if thou seekest to deleat IUC in battle,
I am compelled lo add: jou Caiu-'l tpell
Abel."
Whereupon, these two great competi
tors ol auiiquily grabbed each a potior,
and began to play therewith.
Ami Nicodenms was expert, for lie
had played . poker belorc—which the
same Was live.cent ante, in Deacon
Siubbs' hay loft. ,i
And he wist not that his milher-in
law was lightning al the same game.
An.l he was aggrieved, aud hung upon
his own neck and wept, when he saw
thai he was a mere kid iu this woman's
hands.
For it was so writ that the old lady
should get the beUer ol him. «
And she leif upon him, and smole him
hip and I high, and knocked six teeth
down his lit runt, and punched him one
under the chin, und stood him oil his
head on die coiner, and piled a great
mauy chairs and solas upon him.
•And when thefo things were done,
the spake unto him these words: "Nico
tiemiu, you Mjuini-eyed baboon. I've got
you foul."
And the voice of Nicodcimis was
heard eying In the wilderness.
'And Uis said,''' Yea, verily, I ac«
knowledge the corn. 1 throw up the
sponge. You aie captain ol the ship."
And it caii.e to pass that the old lady
dwelt in the household and ruled with
an iron hand, and (humped .Nicodemtts
in the ear every tiuie lio iorgot bis po
hi.ion.
And the reign of Nioodemus was three
and bcvui days, and he was thrown
110 in his throne. — tiunny South.
Ol.tlKl AMNtl.on C-CUItT,
Some curious stories are related of
instances where, under the mediaeval
und ecclesiastical laws of Europe, dumb
animals were treated as responsible be
ings, arrested, brought before courts to
ans Iver tor crimes and in ilie meantime
weio shut up in prison. Witnesses were
examined, judgment prWoaucedi lite
animal, if found guilty, executed, the
offending beast often being dressed in
ihe clothing of a man. Antique Euro*
l»eun law books coutuin reports of trials
ufswine, bulls, horsfcs, etc., in public
conns for the ollense of killing persons,
and he> were gravely hanged f-»r their
misdeeds. They had forms tor prosecu
ting beasts too numerous to punish ltl«
Jividuall). Uais were 6uin:ion»d for
devout ing the barley olthe region; their
counsel established a 6uccesßtul delenso
that their clients had denired to leavo
thrf territory but couldn't gel away on
account of the cats lying in wait for
theui. In M aye nee flic Spanish flits,
und In Savoy tlie weevils were indicted
at a public tiial. Their counsel succeded
in obia.ning a decree that a distant ter
litory should be assigned to them to
which they might retire. A good pve
cedeut lor the C-oloiado potato bu«! In
Valence a piagua of caterpillars wis
pros«cuied. The points ol la* raised
were so tsuincrous and difficult mid the
j trial ivus spun oui so long thai the in»
! iusectv all died before the judgment was
pronounced. In lirazil there was a ease
against swarms ol ants; and in early
Canada tnrlle-doves were excomuinuitift*
' ted lor inischiel Ihey had done.
■■rime Himnnrck,
During the great war between France
find jcrni|iiy Prince Bismarck, ''the
man of blotd and Iron," was the actor
in an incident of a most suggestive and
Ken lie nature. The I'rinco is said'to be
u smoker ardently attached loilie'weed',
lie H reported to have said: "The vnlueot
a good cigar is be»: understood when it
i.-i Hi. lani yon jiowW, and 'here is no
chance I.T G-I A'.i'HlT." M«M lerotn««
of tobacco ' 1 " ™ '
ia iliv.i bondage lo it, and t« bo iiiiwu'
NO. 29
bio it deprived ol it. Il is said that Bi*»
lotirck had cherished lii« laM cigar all
through a battle, iii glad ai»tiHp*tioit i>f
«lie luxury in store tor him, when he tud
•dculy'and glntlly deprived Litnsclf ot the
Rinokc-giviog solace. In his own w.ords
'•i painted in glywing colore, >n »ny
mind, the happy hour when I should en*,
joy it a fur thi' victory. But 1 liad inis-*
calculated the lhanccs. A poor dragoon
lay helpless, with both arms crushed,
murinitniig tor aotneihirg to refresh lriin.
1 felt iiLiny pockets. and that I
had only gold—and that would be of no
use to hiui. But slay; 1 had still ray
treasured cigarl I lighted for ldio
and placed it l»etwcon ids teeth. You
should Imve seen Ihe poor tellow's grate-
Jul smile. 1 never enjoyed a
much aa that, one I (lid not smoke.
Gleanings.
(Ships are frequently on speaking terms,
and tbev lie to.
Some men can't take coil without
blowing about it.
Dr. Mary Walker is among the White
Mountains where her costuuie is shown
to be eminently adapted to climb it.
A man of true genius i generally as
Kin pie as a child, and as uuconsciuub o£
his power as an elephant.
If a man's horses should lose their
tails why should he sell them whole
sale? lie cans® he can't retail them.
" Good nature extracts sweetness fron
everything with which it comes in con
tact, us the bee
ery flower which it visits.
Trying to do business without adver
tising is like winking at a girl in the
girl iu the daik. You amy know what
yon are doing, but nobody else do**,
la drinking the "good health 1 ' of
your friends, take care .yo'i dou't get
too much in the habit of swallowing
your own.
A boy will dig over a Mpiare rod of
garden ground for fish bait, and yet |*lie
Cft'ild not be hirtd'o work on a six foot
| oniou oed.
About the only tiling an American
will go to any great trouble about is the
age of his grandmother. He will make
her olier than any one else's grand
mother if lyiug cau do it.
Duce'd queer how mon differ aboat
different things. When a man hooks •
lot of fi*:i he will biag of it for tlirfee
days, and when he hooks a lot of apples
he hasn't a word to say about it.
Alexander H. Stephens is reported to
bo in better health lb »n for years past,
lie can no* sit on a hotel piazza at tho
seaside without paper weights on his
toat-tails.
A Philadelphia woman can bold a
croquet ball between her upper and
lower teeth. But she has to take her
teeth out and liolds one 3et in each
hand.
When H fjlioW pops the question to a
Maine girl instead of blushing aud look
ing at hi r fiet she throws h-r arms
about hU neck and begins to talk about
ili« furniture.
, # V," *
An old judg? of the New York Su
premo Court, meeting a friend in a
neighboring village, exclaimed:.*"Why!
what are you doing here?" "I am at
work trying to make an honest living."
''Then you'll succeed," said the judge,
"tor you'll have no competition."
They don't rinif bells to let people
know when the theatre or circuit opeita,
and jet nobody gets there too l&to. But
to get folks to ilnuch there has'to be a
clang'ng of dismal sounding bells enouglf
to shutter the nerves ol an invalid and
to make the wellest man feel sick. j
'•lf yon WHS a man, Jiuimie," said A
little shaver to his chum, "who would
you vote for, Hancock or Garfield." "I'd
go with the biggest procession, you bet.'*
—New Ilaven Register. That boy will
probablv grow up to be tho eilitor of an
independent pa|»er.—/ > Aii JVeuw.
A fanner's wife, ill speaking of the
marines*, aptuess and intelligence of
her son, a lad six jears old, to a lady
acquaintance, said: "He c«n read flu
ently in uny part of tho Bible, repeat
tho » h«/le caU-chisDi, and weed onion*
as well fs his father." "Yes, moth«r, w
added the young hopeful, "and yester
day 1 licked Ned R**>o«>, throweji the
cat into lho well, aud stole old Hinck
ley's gimlet.''
When James T. Bradey first opened a
lawyer's office i'i New York, lie took a
basement raom, which had previously
been occupied by a ccbbler. He was
somewhat annoyed bv the previous oc
cupant's cjlleis, aud irritated by the
fact Lift. he bal few of his own. One
day »n Irishman entered. •®* rlie cob«
bier's gune, I see,' he said. "I should
think be had,". tartly responded Brady.
"And what uo 3011 sell," lie said, look
ing at-the solitary ÜbW> and 11 lew law
b-i. '-JJI 11 ;h' ud*," fd«l llr. 4>
"fWwra iAutlh* Irish mm. ,
doing s. fine busiWssjfe.
kai«t £*t but one. Wt.