THE ALAMANCE GLEANER
VOL. LII.
OUR COMIC-SECTION
■ • ' ■ •
j~ Killing Time H
MICKIE, THE PRINTER'S DEVIL Three Cheers by the Autoists
HMM* LETTER PROM "PeOESTRIAW" ASKIWS FOR. -THE reckless PEPESTR-IAVJ who crosses
aw ecmtorial roastiuq' reckless autoists = lookikk% ueitwer. to right or left
-VHENVE BEEU GETTINGI ABUSE EVER SIUCE PEOESTRJAW WHO CROSSES IW "THE
-v\e auxo WAS wevj, aud -thev oeserve it, middle of the block* 7
Bur -me "reckless peoestriau" \s also
EwTtueo To Some , —v
B» ATTEtJ-OOM WWO STOPS ° W { \
-TWE CROSSIWQS
". To VISIT = j£wi»y A
PUSHES A
7 v-ncewise the persom Yll put iu a few harsh vuoods for.
Ml&W 1 1 wmo walks 6m a busy the faremts who let their.
'J# x \ s State road at wk*Ut childrem plav iai the street*
 5 Without evem a the kids will hardly
r JjU flashlight or. lauteru Get out op the //N /
/>) v WARM AUroiSTS - WAY EWOU«H TO
'/ •' / Awo " tHE driver OF LEr ir G\~\
/ f »\ A WACxOM OR- AMO IVE HA \\ //\\}jjh
 K A A WAfctON OK WUW3-f TWEM OLOCK. THE \\ J/ ) M
I ] WHO VIOLATES THE ROAPSO I HAD \\Jf
y «To PLACE A USHTOM TO AVOIO hittimG
I- /V W,S VEW,CLE * I \ ' s -fHEKA. \
fi i£\ M P WW-TW6 tTS ABOUT '
UNDERTAKER," Sow EOWE ROASTED '
C Wtitern N«wipapr Union J
INCREDIBLE
th^f arraer —"There's one thing about
u 'nimp's story I can't believe uo
«ter how I look atU"* Wlfle—"And
tha t?". Farmer—"He says he
® e c 'ean from Pittsburgh."
Exception
en love tiles dark because their
brother"* evl i'" remark ed the pious
i y°n will hare to admit it is
a man is good if he falls for
A] eck ndeß *" retorted the Smart
w featuring It
son—is Jact Flicker, the Aim
modest
»Rnu'r Yes ' hes - hired sir press
W is. te " the world how modest
Before He Fell Asleep
With many gesticulations, rapid
fire sentences and frequent stamp
ing of his feet, the young orator
brought his speech on prohibition to
a close.
Among those who came to congrat
ulate the speaker was a grayhalred
old man who was unusual because of
his half-awake appearance.
certainly enjoyed your talk," said
the old man as he started to walk
on, but was halted by a question asked
by the speaker, "What part did you
enjoy most?"
"Oh," replied the old gentleman as
he yawned, "the part you gave be
fore I fell asleep."
Variant Feminine
Daughter —Mamma, what U an op
thnlst? .
Mamma— An optimist, my daughter,
Is a woman who thinks her friends
think she looks as young as they say
she looks.
r ft
Tempus Fugit
"Before we were married you used
to say there wasn't another man like
me in the world."
"Yes, and now I'd hate to think
there was."
STAIRS AND STARES
Maggie—"You can get upstairs eas
ily in those knickers you wear, can't
you?" Grace —"Get up stares! That's
the trouble! Every fellow I meet Just
stares 1"
- Vo Wonder
Betty—l notice that Joe left early
last night What was the matter, was
he sick?
Sue —Well, he had a light attack.
Betty—A light attack of what?
g ue —Father unexpectedly turned
the switch on.
Heard in a Haberdashery
Customer —I wish to see a tie in
which blue predominates.
Clerk— Here's one in which blue pre
dominates, but the purple In It pre
dominates even more, I think.
GRAHAM, IN, C., THURSDAY DECEMBR 16, 1926.
THE
HAPPY HOME
By BRUCE
«BS%BSXSSKBB%BS%BB%BB%BB9SSSSSBB%B»CSB9CB«
WNU S«rric*
Comfortably Low
The little library Just off the living
room was the pride of the bookish
lady'B heart —and
■ that of her book
ish husband as
always say In nov
equipped with
tables, chairs and
r«e adl n g lights.
But someway It
wasn't a comfort
able place in
which to read. No
' body wanted to
read there. House guests always came
and got a book and took It away Into
the living room to read It
The bookish lady was puzzled and
disappointed. What was the matter
with her library? She finally asked a
guest outright, and the guest didn't
know why, either. But together thej
got at the difficulty.
"Why, everything Is too high—l be
lieve that's the trouble," said the guest,
slowly. "If you lay a large magazine
open on the table to read it, you have
to stretch your body wny up and crane
■your head over In order to see It. The
chairs are too high also. They don't
let you stretch your legs opt and lean
back while you read. You have to sit
upright and strain your back to reach
the table besides."
"You've hit It!" exclaimed the book
ish lady. "I'm going to cut six Inches
off those tuble legs and about three
Inches off the legs of the chairs. That
will bring the chairs closer to the floor,
and the table a good deal closer to
the chairs as well as to the floor."
"I learned from an interior decorator
last year," said the guest, "that low
furniture always makes a room look
larger and more inviting. Chairs,
tables, beds, dressing tables—all should
be kep't low, both for comfort and for
looks, she said. And I believe she wai
right."
The Boy of Affair•
"I can sep that your youngster, Bob,
is going to be a man of affairs when
he grows up, because he's such a boy
of affairs now," said a neighboring
citizen to Bob's gratified father. "He
has put in six or eight radio sets all
jover the neighborhood, and they are
all working fine, too. He has headed
the baseball and football teams this
last year, and I understand he has or
ganized a target practice among the
boys."
Bob's dad nodded.
"Yes, we've always encouraged him
In doing everything that made for skill
and courage and Initiative. His room
Is a workshop, a laboratory, and a mu
seum In one. I want him to learn how
to use his hands and his brains at one
and the same time, and to fit himself
to meet every emergency that comes
along. Of course, his splendid train
ing In the boy scouts has been his
chief Incentive, but I think parents
must co-operate with the scoutmaster
and equip the boy with all the facili
ties for doing things.
"Bob learned how to handle a rifle
at camp, but I have spent many hours
with blm, teaching him how to shoot
a pistol, and now he handles both guns
very well.' He la never allowed to
shoot except when I am-with him, and
the rifle practice the boys are starting
in under careful supervision of one
or two of us fathers. It is dangerous
to trust a boy with a gun alone, but
equally dangerous never to trust him
with one at all.
"We make Bob construct practically
everything be uses. He has not only
built radios, but can wire up for elec
tric lights. Install a house telephone,
and manage a motorboat. He under
stands an automobile's mechanism,
and he has made most of the simple
furniture In his room.
"We have helped him organize the
neighborhood boys for all sorts of
sports, because he must learn how to
work with his fellows when he grows
up. Boys who are given constructive
things to do keep out of destructive
mischief, of course—that's an axiom.
But it is the father and mother who
must plan the constructive things and
keep the lad's Interest fresh at all
times. That's our Job."
(Copyright.)
Russia of Today
flj L V y
*■ &WK4&9h, jfcy
||H mtp*WM
|f| S T 4• >■ BP
Rusaian School Girls of Today.
(Prepared by the National Geographic
Society. Washington. D. C.)
LITTLE has been noticed of the
real test which is going on In
side Soviet Russia in recent
years because the clamor of
theory and proclamations lias tilled
the ears of the world. Theories have
been meeting individualism which is so
universal in humanity, unwritten rules
of life and trade which have developed
through the ages, v and world laws
which centuries have formulated for
nations.
Russia is the world's largest coun
try, stretching across two continents,
and when theory and practice reach a
balance, the test of a pew of
government will have world-wide ef
fect.
Politically, It is divided Into six con
stituent republics; they In turn com
prises 33 autenomous units, each dif
fering cthnologlcally and culturally.
Most of them have "their own lan
guage, their (twn customs and cos
tumes, and the babel of tongues be
comes even greater from the tribes
who are as yet too backward for self
government
Cities and villages string along the
railroads and rivers over all that vast
territory. As,one rides over the Si
berian steppes the plains seem un
ending. Then a peasant's cart is seen
In the distance, the Invariable dog
trotting behind. Soon appear other
carts, all going In" the same direction.
Then a village of log houses, with
perhaps a public building and a de
parted aristocrat's brick house, al
ways painted white, and the ever-pres
ent church, with Its Ave Turkish
shaped towers, the large one in the
center for Christ and the smaller ones
on the corners for the four Gospels.
The train vanishes again over the un
ending frtains, varied only by stretches
of forest or hills, which seem to come
and go as suddenly as the villages.
Moscow a Hug* Village.
Moscow, metropolis and capital of
Russia, Is the largest village in the
world. Moscow has its trolley cars,
electric lights, talf buildings, theaters,
stores, motor busses, and other out
ward metropolitan manifestations, but
at heart It Is a village. Leningrad,
Odessa, and even some of the cities
Of the Interior have an appearance
and an atmosphere of western Ruro|>e;
Moscow Is the heart of Russia and it
changes slowly.
Moscow is sprinkled with what Is
new, lint everywhere It. speaks of age,
from the weathen-beaten walls of the
Inner City to battlemented monas
taries on the outskirts. Kroad thor
oughfares radiate from Its center, hut
around each corner the streets are
narrow, with sidewalks no wider than
footpaths.
Fires hnve wiped It away. Invaders,
from Tatars to Napoleon, have de
stroyed It, governments have come and
gone, hut MoscowCjsfutiborn nnJ ( | u) |
has persisted. It symbolizes Russia.
It Is only a st«> from Moscow,
overcrowded and /teeming with its
peoples of many races, with rules for
every movement and police to en
force them. Into the wild, wide-open
spaces. Wolves and bears still roam
in the Moscow district, and when the
dull winter dusk comes at 2 o'clock In
the afternoon and the country Is under
Its white mantle of snow, hunger
drives them to prey on mankind.
In daylight hours a constant human
stream jostles through tbp towered
Iberian gate In Moscow in the wall
between the Red Square and tlfe I'lace
of the Revolution outside the Kitai Go
rod (Fortified City): Men in sheep
skin coats, the greasy leather outside
and the fur Inside; clerks In glossy
leather Jackets; officials with beaver
collars, brief eases under their arms;
women In felt hoots; girls in slippers,
with bandies, babies, and carts, wefe,
tramping through the slush.
Beggars and Robber Gangs,
Begging Is a lucrative profession in
Moscow except for the few days of
sporadic "police round-ups. Beggars
are of nit types and both from
infants *fho toddle underfoot while an
older head directs them from the side
lines, to husky rascals faithful to a
vow of "I won't work."
Differing from the whining beggars
are the 200,000 to 300,000 homeless
chlldreH, pariahs of the social order,
ragged, sooty-faced from sleeping In
the embers of street repair gangs' fur
naces, dirty, diseased, dope-poisoned,
and run in^packs.
A gang straggles through the gate,
Jiugglng the curb, eyes alert, the world
n potential enemy, its plan of action
decided. The leader grabs a woman's
handbag, a man's fur cap, and over
turns an unwary peddler's basket of
apples. The basket Is picked clean,
and with wild screams the gang Is
gone, scattering through the streets,
policemen and pedestrians In vain pur
suit.
In several cities homes are main
tained by the government for these
young vngnbonds—heritage of war and
revolution, but augmented every
month by wanderlust—with baths,
clean cots, clothes, food, and a care
taker to give them instruction and ad
vice. Personal liberty goes amiss with
this social group, too- young to ap
preciate civic responsibility even if
they had been taught It. Police and
social workers periodically rotthd up
the wild, untamed children and put
them in the homes.
The crowds elbow through the
white-painted brick gates. In and out
of the Red Square, between a gaunt
let of venders. Baskets and. clumsy
little wagons are on the curb; also
flabby, brown, frozen apples for a cent
and fat ones, carefully sheltered under
blankets, for 40 cents; stands of cig
arettes, each with one and a quarter
Inches of tobacco and three Inches of
paper mouthpiece; oranges for 70
cents; cheeses, cut and weighed while
you wait; candies collecting dust;
dried sunflower seeds, two cents a
glassful.
Phase* of the Social Movement.
The goal which Soviet Russia has
set is to industrialize the country un
til It can supply its domestic needs.
It will then be independent of the out
side world. The L'nlted States is taken
as a model, not the countries of Eu
rope, which have developed industry
by colonies and foreign trade. Until
that goal Is reached, or abandoned, no
wars of Russia's making nee'd be an
ticipated.
The social movement In Russia may
be divided into three phases: First,
to arouse the workers to a revolution;
second, to Instill the idea in their
minds that they were the rulers of the
country; third, to Impress them that
they must produce.
The third stage has now been
reached. More and more emphasis is
laid on the fact that the worker must
produce results and devote teas time
to theorizing and talking. Stalin re
cently in one of his rare speeches de
clared too much time was given to
celebrations, meetings, and anniversa
ries. As practical illustration he cited
that marketing of the grain was
costing 13 kopecks • pood when U
should cost &
NO. 45.
TEXAS FLAPPER
HOLDS UP BANK
SINGLE HANDED
• ■ 1 ■
Honor State Uni
versity, Called "Mite Mod- '
esty," Plant jobbery
Austin, Texas.—Rebecca Bradley,
twenty-two years of age, brown-eyed,
bobbed-hair brunette of 110 pounds, tm
accused of robbing the na
tional bank of Buda, 16 miles from
hefe.
Miss Bradley is a college graduate,
an honor student, candidate for a
master's degree, and a model daugh
ter. She served a term as a stpnogra- ,
pher in the office of the attorney gen
eral of Texas. In her high school
days at Fort Worth she was known
as "Miss Modesty."
She is modest in dress and be
havior and shuns the pleasures at
tributed to the flapper, but she refers
to the two men who let her shove
them into the bank vault with a pistol
as "those saps."
Planned "Adventure" Carefully.
She planned her "great adventure"
carefully, seeking to prove a woman
could be a better holdup than a man.
She faces trial on a capital offense,
but her sureties on bail are Mayor P.
W. McFadden of Austin and Dr.
Charles Ramsdell. professor of his
tory in the University of Texas.
Miss Bradley's first effort in her
exploit was to direct suspicion else
where. She had her own small auto
mobile, and earl 3% one morning she
drove to Ronnd Rock. 20 miles north
of Austin. There, peace officials say.
she sought to establish an alibi by
"registering" herself on the inhabi
tants.
Then she apparently drove swiftly
bark through Austin and to Buda. 16
miles south. She had been there sev-
Foreed Them Into the V^ult.
era I days before, posing, as an Austin
newspaper writer. On this pretext
she gained admittance to the cage,
saying she wanted to use a typewrit
er.
She waited until all customers
then yanked out a pistol and forced™
F. A. Jamison, cashier, and Raymond
Howe, bookkeeper, into the vault.
She expressed the hope they would
not suffer for air.
Scooping up all the money in sight,
•he re-entered her automobile, drove
bark to Austin and left her car at a
washing station. But the bankers
had escaped from the vault In time to
take the license number. »
Malls Loot to Herself.
After disposing of the anto. the girl
went to the Austin post office and
■ent a registered package addressed
to herself. This package was Inter
cepted before it could be delivered
to her and was found to contain an
automatic pistol and $9lO.
The girl was arrested in Austin,
taken to Buda, Identified by the bank
ers and returned to Jail here.
For a year, her escapade has re
vealed, she has been the bride of Otis
Rogers, a young attorney or Austip.
Rogers, wio married Rebecca secret
' ly, while both were in college, will
! defeud his wife in court.
Kills Farmer and Wife
and Kidnaps Jftmghter
New Bloomfield, Pa. —A demented
farm hand beat to death his employer
and wife when they refused his de
mands for money, and then kidnaped
their daughter.
The victims were George D. Shull.
sixty years old, a former prothono
tary of Perry county, and his wife.
Ella. Their alleged assailant. Paul
Sheaffer, seized Mrs. Elster Kell. who
had been visiting her parents, dragged ,
her Into Shull's automobile and start
ed away with her.
Something went wrong with the
car. When the man got out to repair
the trouble Mrs. Kell drove away and.