Newspapers / The Alamance Gleaner (Graham, … / June 18, 1936, edition 1 / Page 6
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WORLD'S BEST COMICS Lighter Side of Life as Depleted by Famous Cartoonists and Humorists THE FEATHERHEADS Second Guetring WOT MOW? I Jlisr SAW -The- bus turn The" CORI4ER ? So NOW I hame lots of time ? BFT6EM MIKl UTe S , .'-Till THe KieyT L .* ONE 'I WA fisfes* fows I (S OP relative IMPORTANT Tb MOST EVERV FAMILY S*MA l 1LR POP? Sorry, Sorrier, Sorriest By C M. PAYNE r i MESCAL IKE By 3. L. HUNTLEY He Doesn't Scare Easy HIDE- A COWS . outside.^! FINNEY OF THE FORCE *>??<??>*? Crashing Into the Dough ADAMSON'S ADVENTURES The Getaway OHaol?SS'F?R ? FtAjUe/ A MEIJOMT Whut ism COOP STUFF 1*4 A V/lMOER AT NOISHT IS LIABLE' -fo 6lT A m> bi?ea< By O. JACOBSSON ? Hie Tree Crocodile The customer proved uinst exacting and the clerk was growing Impatient. "Now are you ?ure this Is genuine crocodile skin?" the customer Inquired, critically examining a handbag. "Quite sure, madam," whs the reply "You see, I know the man who shot tbat crocodile." "It looka rather dirty." remarked the customer. "Well, yes," replied the assistant "that's where the animal struck the ground when It fell out of the tree." ? The Automoblllst. Los* for Good "Mommy," said little Joan plead Incly. "can I pleaae bare another piece of toffeeT" ^ . "I't? only Just riven yon a piece," said mother. "What happened to ItT "I've lost It," the child replied. "Where did you loae It?" mother In quired. I Just put It Id my month and It went right down." Joan Informed her. ?Pearson's Weekly. vntcucVno*** am IPftfrtANft o? TU a$? aw ? aowr? ?KP HCS50? Jtsi o?c now woapNf MWTWM, 6KA*f SMC S?C HCR&CiT i?*y *cw?t *?o? l??T^ * IV Tta I Jkk? mw BWWP MR ?fib KrttHW *WK. H5 XNMfr MOW WWl&W* 5**. MIS WW fcUft* Ml* OUT* KitCMtK **??6 ??!>*! HI GTCN HMI JliST ONE CdtttMPUtB OXttJfc on p*nw shot, k m^rnhu wumuv W 100* VKVfiO? R>UO?S H?R Ma M Tfc UVW6 ROOM, n?JT ?fr OCT "WAT Hf owy SOHPS AMXMP,6Em Uf?V MUCH M*f W?? AJ0 KOPlMfr UP A s rov MoHotbw im* NTS t&uy MUW?Y *<t> so *t last re WlKfS MAPPllV MM COOKlf JX2U TALL TALES se Ai Told to: FRANK E. HAGAN and ELMO SCOTT WATSON Sagacious Serpent ES," said Madame Zulawa, the I snake-charmer with the old Bob lnson circus, "Elmer was by far the most intelligent and most versatile ser pent I ever had. Be was a blacksnake ? six feet of patience, pliability and perspicacity. I could call out any num ber and Instantly he'd arrange himself In the form of that figure. Bis figure eights were a model of rounded sym metry. But all of this was before one horrible night . . ." Madame Zulawa covered her eyes as though to shut out some terrible sight. There was a tremor In her voice . . . then she went bravely on. "Our circus train was crossing the high Sierras. Just as It was approach ing the summit, Elmer slid out of bis cage and started back over the tops of the cars. He was comlpg back to my car for bis cup of warm coconut milk to help him get to sleep. "Just as he stretched over the gap between two cars, there was the sound of iron snapping. The coupling be tween the two cars had broken under the strain of pulling the heavy cars up that steep grade. In another moment the rear half of the train would be speeding down the Incline, gathering momentum until it jumped the rails at the first curve. "Elmer knew that everything de pended upon him. Quick as a flash he " sank his teeth In the wooden top of the car ahead. At the same moment he wrapped his tail around an Iron rod on the car behind. The strain on hira was fearful, but be hung on grim ly .. . "Well . . . there Isn't much more to tell. The whole train passed safely over the summit But Elmer's days as a performing blacksnake were over. Go to the Cincinnati zoo today and you'll find him there in a cage la beled 'The Only Black Python in Cap tivity ... 42 feet. 6% inches long.' " Tenderfoot, Beware! HEN a tenderfoot disappears out West some old-timer is certain to shake his bend sadly and say: "I reckon a roperite or a tripodero must of got him." Chances are. he's right. The tripodero has only two legs, ar ranged like a telescope, so that It can raise or lower Itself at will. Its head has a long muzzle with a mouth like a gun barrel. As It lurks among the brush. It raises and lowers Itself on fts telescopic legs to watch for ap proaching game. When the tripodero sees a tender foot come jouncing along the trail on horseback, it gets behind a boulder, tilts Itself at just the right angle and points its muzzle at the unsuspecting tenderfoot At the right moment It blows from its mouth a pellet of clay (it always keeps a supply of these quids In its left cheek) which shoots the taste right out of the tenderfoot's mouth. One week and three hours later he dies of starvation because he can't taste anything after be has been shot by the tripodero. If the tenderfoot is lucky enough to get past the tripodero. the roperite may get him. It Is a curious animal with a long rope-like beak which ends In a slip-noose. As the tenderfoot rides singing along the trail past the place where the roperite is lurking, it shoots out this natural lariat, the noose tight ens around the luckless Easterner's throat and he chokes to death on the bars of music that stick crosswise In It. It Is estimated that a total of 4.1G3 tenderfeet have fallen victims to either the tripodero or the roperite In the West since the spring of 1887. -Land of the Sky Blue Water BABE was Paul Bunyan'a big blue ox. He was quite a sizable animal although not all lumberjacks agree as to Just how big he was. Some say he was seven axe-handles between the eyes but others Jeclare the figures should be 42 axe-handles and a plug of tobacco. However, all agree that Babe could pull anything that had two ends to It Paul often used him to pull the kinks out of crooked logging roads. Occasionally Babe would run away and be gone all day. Paul was the only one who could track him because his footprints were so far apart that an ordinary man couldn't see from one of them to the next one. Tbey were pretty deep. too. Once a settler and his wife and baby fell into one of these footprints and the baby was fifty seven years old before be finally i climbed out and reported the, accident. TKfe winter of the blue snow Babe went on one of these rambles and wan dered all over the present state of Minnesota. When the snow melted the next spring the witer filled hi foot prints and. tbat's ?h> Minnesota Is now known as the Land of Ten Thou sand l-akes? the "I .and of the Sky Blue Water." C Westers N**"?on>er Union. Unearth Old Cloth Fragments of cotton cloth 8.000 ! years old, found In the ruins of a town In India, were examined micro | scoplcally, and the fibers were found I similar to a kind of cotton still grown In India. Examina Old ^ing?r PrinU Finger prints made 3,000 years ago are being used to determine the age of pottery recovered from what- are I thought to be the ruins of the Biblical I dtj of lUxpah In Palestine Uncle Phil { SajyA: ' It'? Useless to Wish Trouble not yourself with wishing that things may be just as you would have them ; but be well pleased that they should be Just as they are, and then you will be at ease. In trying to make the world pleas ant for other people, you find 90 per cent of them will reciprocate. It is a sensible man who doesn't expect more than one expression of gratitude for a favor. Don't Harbor Resentment No person on earth can hope to advance while harboring In the heart a case of resentment toward his or her service. Those who are "blunt" In their statements aren't very sensitive and they think others are not. Juat sprinkle Peterman'a Ant Pood aloof window sills, doors, any place where mots come and go. Peterman'a kills them ? red ants, black ants, others. Quick. Safe. Guaranteed effective 24 hours a day. Get Peterman'a Ant Food now. 25c, 35c and 60c at your druggist's. PETERMAN'S ANT FOOD Without Order A contempt for order Is a sign, not of poverty, but of a low-grade intelli gence or a break-down, mental, moral or physical. ? Mary Borden. Quakes Rare in England Earthquakes are rare in England, the average being one a year. The world average is about COO a year. Forget Your Woes Talk happiness; the world is sad enough without your woes. ? E. W. Wilcox. Gift of Hospitality Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary. ? A. Bronson Al cott. STOPS HEADACHE AMAZINGLY QUICK The next time you have a head ache or neuralgic pain, try the im proved, modern, method of relief ? two teaspoonfuls of Capudine in a little water. Being liquid, the ingre dients are already dissolved ? all ready to act. This is why Capudine acts almost instantly. Capudine relieves pain by soothing the nerves. It is delightfully gentle. It contains no opiates. At all drug stores; 60c, 30c, 10c sizes. (AdvJ face 1 BrokenOuf ?" < Start today to relieve the soreness aid healing ? and improve your skin, *"^with the safe medication in ? Resinol Freedom of Self -Control Who, then, is free? The wise man who can govern himself. ? Horace. WNU-4 25? M instant sure RELIEF I Aptfr New Do Line Dr. SchoU'a Zmo-pads wherever the shoe rubs or IS"*. ^ yott'U have instant relief! C^orm. ttllouMi or buniona atop hurting at ?"?? Tb? c Hi thinning pads soothe and Pel, prerent sore toea, bhaterm. Quirkljr u~-^corne or nHmta. They are fleah coter. waterproof; don't come off in the Di Scholls Zino-pads
The Alamance Gleaner (Graham, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
June 18, 1936, edition 1
6
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