' ? ? . ' * '. "?/ i - : ? ?
OUR COMIC SECTION
PETER
| B.
$ PEEVE
onisfcr*^
p
o
IP
By
J. Millar Watt
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f WHY DO
^ I HEAR
NOTHING
BUT
I w
L QUI?wfl by Th? 1W1 gyndtcmi?H?C->
ved vh! VES
-there's,
MO NOIklG/
s
'M
A
T
T
E
R
P
O
P
By
C. M. Payna
WWD
//now donttell antjns
*4 one. i busted the <vj
vrock-in^chair because? \
\ i kicked mtsh'h oh ft?
w4o
^ -
7 EVETC-fTSOPV 'm
oo-oo! -SHj
| THAT'S A LOTTA |
^People , "PoP^
y who .small 1
( i start hot a
\tcuuh' it y
k-to fit??t y
BUSH SEASON |
"My friend Todd says he can't
catch up with his winter orders."
"Is he ? manufacturer?"
"Oh, no. Merely a man with a
wife and five grown daughters."
Opportunity
Mrs. Smythe-Brown was making
the final arrangements for" her elab
orate reception.
"Bridget," she kald to her old ser
vant, "for the first 30 minutes after
six o'clock I want you to stand at
the drawing room and call guests'
names as they arrive."
Bridget's face lit up.
"Very well, ma'am," she replied.
"I've been wan tin' to do that to
some of your friends for years."
HONESTY
"Can you write ahortband?"
"Yea, air; but it takea me longer."
? t
HITLER AND THE DOCTOB
"I'm feeling very funny,"
Said Adolf in disgust;
"You'd better fetch a doctor?".
And get one I can trustI"
A doctor came arunning.
And cried, "You sick! Ah, met
Thia newt ia most amazing?
I thought YOU couldn't bel"
"No small talk," barked Der Fueh
rer,
"Just get to work, and quick!
I'm just as dazed as you are
To find I CAN be sick!"
"What seems to be the matter?"
The doctor did implore;
"You're asking me!" snapped
Adolf?
"That's what you're summoned
for!"
"Stick out yogr tongue," thd doctor
Requested (and we quote);
Der Fuehrer sadly did so . . .
And, boy, was that a COAT!
? ? ?
It plainly showed a fever,
And stomach all upset;
"It was that Russian dressing,
And other things he 'et.'"
It showed grave indigestion.
And bile disturbance, too;
It showed amazing symptoms
Of ailments far from few.
It showed clear indications
Of major gluttony?
Of ulcerous ambitions
And chronic treachery.
It showed some bladder trouble?.
(No blight could that tongue
hide);
"Your spleen's bad," said the doc
tor,
"Your trouble's deep insidel"
"Your arches they are falling,
Your kidneys aren't good . . .
I don't think you've been doing
Exactly as you should!"
? ? ?
Der Fuehrer's eyes were bulg
ing?
His nerves seem torn apart.
And now the doctor whispered,
"I'll listen to your heart."
? ? ? <
He listened and he listened,
He listened everywhere.
He listened most intently?
But heard no ticking there 1
The doctor said: "Your heart, sir...
I hear no beat, alas!"?
And Adolf answered, sneering,
"I have no heart, you ass!"
? ? ?
The doctor was befuddled.
He took another look
At Adolf's tongue deep coated
And wrote this for the book:.
"His uniform this patient
Once said he'd never doff,
But one thing I can tell him?
THAT COAT HE MUST TAKE
OFF!"
0 m ?
The Russians captured a carload
of iron crosses marked "For pres
entation after the capture of Mos
cow" the other day. Maybe the
Nazis would now like to mark the
whole Russian campaign "Opened
by mistake."
? ? ?
OF ALL THINGS!
"The speaker told the audience
that America should develop a
cheerful-sounding air raid warning.
Victory chimes were suggested.?
News item.
This seems eligible for the
Baloney of the Year Award. Amer
icans are complacent and cocky
enough without trying to provide an
air raid signal with an entertain
ment motif.
It is the most cockeyed sugges
tion so far made. Any minute new
we await word from the man who
has invented an air raid signal
that will combine the music of
Irving Berlin with the soothing
qualities of another aspirin tablet.
Not to mention the fellow who will
come forward with an idea for tying
up the signals with a system of radio
crooning.
? ? ?
Employees of Yale university
have joined the C.I.O. by a vote of
462 to 143, which must be quite a
shock to conservatives under the
elms. We can now understand why
the Blues put so much more feeling,
when they sing the Boole Boola
song, into the line "Break through
the Crimson line, its strength to
defy."
"Hiis labor movement at our uni
versities suggests interesting possi
bilities. Perhaps ultimately the whole
jurisdictional issue will be settled by
having the C.I.O. play the A.F. of L.
in the Yale Bowl.
? ? ?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOB
They'll bake you a cake with frost
ing.
With your name done in candle
lights.
And I'll wish you happy returns of
the day,
But I'll worry about your nights.
? ? ?
A Newport mansion costing more
than a million dollars was sold at
auction for around $23,000 the other
day. To dream you dwell in marble
halls these days is enough to make
your hair stand on end. -
* a
Vitamins to Keep You Fit
Nose Blower b Unattractive
\X/HEN winter comes, can snif
* * fles be far behind? They
can if you've the live, singing, joy
ous health that vitamins give you.
We need all the vitamins to keep
our youth and looks. But we spe
Original Names
Originally, Brazil was called the
Land of the Holy Cross, San
Francisco was known as Yerba
Buena and the Benevolent and
Protective Order of Elks was
named the Jolly Corks.
cially need foods containing vita
min A?yellow fruits and carrots,
sweet potatoes and parsley?if
we'd resist infections such as the
common cold.
? ? ?
Such a diet need cost no mors than the
meal* you have now I Our 32-page booklet
?usseati menus bursting with vitamins,
gives "Keep fit Diet" and a chart show
ing vitamin content ot everyday foods.
Explains role oi vitamins In retaining
health, energy, looks. Tells 10 ways to
preserve vitamins in cooking. Send your
order to:
READER-HOME SERVICE
US Sixth A venae New York Ctty
Enclose 10 cents in coin for
your copy of VITAMINS TO
KEEP YOU ITT.
Nsme
Address
Active Faith
Enthusiasm is the greatest asset
in the world. It beats money and
power and influence. Single-hand
ed the enthusiast convinces and
dominates where the wealth accu
mulated by a small army o 1 work
ers would scarcely raise a tremor
of interest. Enthusiasm tramples
over prejudice and opposition,
spurns inaction, storms the cita
del of its object, and like an ava
lanche overwhelms and engulfs
all obstacles. It is nothing more
or less than faith in action.?Hen
ry Chester.
Relief At Last
For Your Cough
OreomnMen reherea promptly ba?
ssa" diiss
trouble to help xxm ana expel
germ lo^rn nhWm en/1 ? M nature
to soothe and heal raw, tender, In
flamed bronchial mucous mem*
branes. Tell your druggist to aeS JIM '
a bottle of Creomulelon with the un
derstanding you muet She the way it
quickly allaya the ooughar you an
to have your money back.
CREOMULSION
for Coughs, Chest Colds, Brondutii
Depressing Others
' Stop shallow water still running,
it will rage; tread on a worm and
it will turn.?Robert Greene.
CONSfflPATION
SLOW YOU UP
? When boweir ere thiggMiaod you feed
irrltebU, heedechy Jl IMJ Ibfag 7?
dp Is ea eSoet. do as odmooo do-chmr
FKEN-A-MINT, the modern thinly
gum laxative. Simply ehesr FKOMr
MINT before you go to bid dry dL
out brief lug mHa
thorough relief, helping yuo fed mm*
and scopomifl. A fmom family mpjft
FEEN-fl-MIHTTor
Guarded Confidence
Confidence is nowhere safe.?
Vergil.,
? f T I I J ?_ I f i J W I .
m i m A i L.- ?'
IH A BETTER SMOKE
? Milder and better-tasting!
R Your own eyes tell you that
Raleighs are finest quality
tobacco is more golden colored than
in other popular brands. And remem
ber?golden colored leaves bring the
highest prices at the great tobacco
sales. Try Raleighs.. .they cost no more
than other popular priced cigarettes,
yet they're blended from 31 selected
grades of golden Turkish and Domestic
tobaccos.
K SAVE 1JI is Ml
^Ml
1 gSggLJ I
HMNCWm I
I mm GET PREMIUMS FREE! On the back of every
Raleigh pack there's a valuable coupon, good in the U. S. A.
for dozens of luxury premiums. Write for the catalog that
describes them. These are the same coupons that are packed
with KOOL cigarettes. Next time get the pack with the cou
pon on the back ... buy Raleighs!
? Mw M. Solid walnut cut.
Holds 300 uwyrted chip*, two
dock* Bicycle cards.
Zhpp*r HHaM and O-clip Key
Csseof genuine pigskin. Spec
ify dsrk brown or bUck.
K?r*Mal Lady's Uabralla. I
Nnr rtyi?. W?U made on raa>
leaa frame. Choioe of colon.
OmmUm Cummwmhy Nr Plate
SlNwrwers. Pitcher, 17V4*tray,
will givm exceptional wear.
I mhtVPTT?TI? I
I MVIHTTOIM I
?19 Maw Tnhci Staap*
nay now ba obtained through
Brown & Willi*maoai. Send 1H
Raltigfa coupons for aach dollar
atanp. Ddtnaa Stamp Albom.
shown abova, frss on rsqia?<?
IhH Jacket. Natural tea
poplin. Wind- and ahoerar
proof. 8 riaea. Li*ht wa|bt
TUNE IN Red Skelton and Ozzie NeUon every Tuetday night, NBC Red Network
HERE'S WHAT YOU DO
It'* Ample. It'" fun. Jurt think up
e teat line to thie jingle. Mnke are
it rhyme* with the word "gin."
Write your lent line of the
finite 00 the wee Ad* 0i ?
Raleigh package wrapper (or ?
fecwmile thereof), win ft with
your full nemo and ulilira*, end
mail it to Brawn A Williamson
Tobacco Corp., P. O. Box 17W,
Louisville, Kentucky, poet
marked not later than midnight,
January 31,1942.
You may rater a* many laat
line* a* you wiah, if they an all
written ou eeparate Raleigh pack
age wrapper* (or faerimOea).
Priaea wfll b* awarded on the
originality tod aptoM of Ika line yoo writs.
Jutin1 daririona must bs accepted u final.
In cam of Urn. dupUcato pciaaa win ba
swanted. Winner* win ba atrtified by mail.
Aayuna may antar (except employees of
Brown A Williamson Tobacco Corp., their
adrertiabig agents, or their families). An
entries and idaaa therein baooma the prop
erty of Brown A Williamson Tobacco
Corporation.
lAii i 'Ann > ilimifiiisifiA
ywwwwv^f S VWWJ
J "*? warier OM Kaf Cat*
> Wat ndii MtT) inI!
S Rriefeh c?*ms nto Ha pia ;|
HERE'S WHAT TOO WIN
Too hare 133 dawn to wk If
70a nod in mora than on eater,
roar ebuM of winning win bo
that much better. Don't dolnr.
Start thinking right now.
Hr*t prtan . . . WUInt
nupris. . . . TtWrarit
5 prteaa of SIM* . WMgnft
2Sprteaaaf ISM .ISHnt
lMrrteaaof acartoa
ef M Ml - . - ISAM