I THE SUNNY SIDE OF LIFE I
Clean Comics That Will Amuse Both Old and Young
SPARKY WATTS
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By BOODY ROGERS
KJP WHAI1 WA$ THINKING OF
? PUNNY ABOUT JD TH' POOR PREACHER
PP. THATjB THAT MAKRtS YtXI.'
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LALA PALOOZA ?She GeU an Earful By RUBE GOtDBERG
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ME*?? vou J MIDGE BRADY AN' I "? TT WAS TOUGH SCRATCHIN' FOR TELL I MONICKER ON 1 RAP AGAINST HIM M lit A ? 1 ?
ARE AND J MANAGE THIS BIG HUNK COFFEE AN' CAKES-WE WENT // ME \ RUBBER-CHECKS BUT THE BIG HUNK ^ M
WHT ARE f O' HAMBURGER. MOPTOP- ALONG ON THE CUFF AN' , I SOME f AND PRETTY SOON | O'BLUBBER'S AS
YOU DOlN / HE S GOT A LAST NAME BUT LEFT ATRAIL OF tO-U'S / \ MORE A WE SEE OUR PANS > SQUARE AN' SWEET
THIS TO jtk ONLY HIS FOLKS CAN FROM HERE TO THE J V_.J>7 WITH 'WANTED* AS A LUMP S
' ME? PRONOUNCE /?|||i GOLDEN GATE ' j^TI UNDERNEATH "EM ON OF SUGAR / ? --
^ OFFICE WALLS. iJB
REG'LAR FELLERS?A Large Order By GENE BYRNES
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POP?On the Run
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EXERCISE
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By J. MILLAR WATT
LOOKED LIKE
CROSS-COUNTRY RUNNING
TO AA E
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II 1 \n O V
By FRANK WEBB 7
I
I PRIVATE I
| BUCK |
1 By* Ms 1
"Brnk'a always afraid of a tank ttalni aloag ka Dm middle
of tk? night!"
CROSS 1
TOWN H
By
Roland Coe =
I
w?l
"I should think if he's such s rood hunter he eeaM scare up as
occasional rabbit?after ail the pears we're kept HIM
supplied with the botcher's best scraps!"
WW. fan**
MB. TWITCHELL VIEWS WITH
ALARM
Paul R. Burkholder. associate pro
fessor of botany at Yale, predicts
that we will be eating "vegetable
steaks" and drinking "soybean milk
shakes" in the near future. The pro
fessor says this will come about with
the conquering of "ignorance con
cerning nutrition values, the ele
ments of an adequate diet, and vita
min B content."
?
Elmer Twitchell threw down his
paper and made a wry face. "Some
body's always lowering my morale,"
he sighed. "The very thought of a
vegetable steak is terrible. It'll be
pretty awful if all we get out of this
World war is a tenderloin of arti
choke !"
?
As for milkshakes, Elmer admit
ted the ones he has been getting
lately tasted pretty funny and the
drug-store clerk might be using soy
beans in them right now.
?
"I want a federal commission for
the Control of the Soybean," he de
clared with feeling. "They're let
ting it run wild. And I'm for less
talk about vitamins and less scien
tific exploration into what's in vege
tables today that nobody suspected
was there yesterday.
?
"Oh, for the days when a man
sat down at the table and simply
ate what was pat before him with
out any thought of vitamins, pro
teins and all that! The good old
times when all he had to decide was
if the vittles tasted good!
?
i usea uj enjoy my meais. l was
a good feeder up to about ten years
ago. I thought a soybean was a
Chinese bran. Proteins were never
mentioned in my set For all I
knew of them vitamins were some
thing in geometry. Then I began
to hear a lot of talk about nutrition
values with warnings about what
certain things in a square meal
could do to me. I began to get
nervous about eating at all.
?
"But I managed to get along pret
ty well for a while although eating
ceased to be the fun it had been all
my life. Then came the glorifica
tion of the various vitamins, with
every radio program yelling about
'em. The vitamin ballyhoo went so
far that about four years ago I found
I couldn't look a dinner plate in the
face without misgivings.
?
"If the hostess said 'Won't you
have some more lamb stew, Mr.
Twitchell?' I couldn't say 'Yes
thanks,' like I used to. I had to
stop and think it over, wondering if
Yale had gone into the matter of
lamb stews and turned in a verdict.
?
"It was the same way with every
thing. I grew cautious about liver
and onions, furtive with regard to a
New England boiled dinner and very
apprehensive about that old stand
by, ham and eggs."
?
Elmer was weeping. "It's just too
bad," he sobbed, "why can't they
do something about Yale professors,
chemists in general and the soybean
and vitamins A, B and C in par
ticular?"
New York's policewomen have
just been equipped with a cowhide
bag holding a .38 caliber pistol, a
medium red lipstick and a powder
puff. We expect any day now to
hear some desperado shriek, "She
pulled a lipstick on me!"
"Use your gun as you do your
lipstick," cautioned Mayor LaGuar
dia to the policewomen. At first we
thought this highly dangerous ad
vice. We thought it might do a lot
of damage to a lady's lips. But it
seems the Mayor added the clause,
"use it only when you need it; don't
overdo either."
?
This may be bard for a police
woman to follow. What the Mayor
probably meant was, "Don't blate
away with yonr lipstick the minote
yon get In a tough spot; try paci
fying the offender with a little rouge
and a kick in the shins first."
. ? ? ?
It is reported that throughout Ger
many the people are soft pedaling
the "Heil Hitler" to such a point
that the Nazis are rebuking them
and demanding more oomph in it.
Possibly the Germans are feeline e
terrific urge to scrap the greeting
and substitute "In Der Fuehrer's
i Face." I
? ? ?
I mi Dodo's boy-friend Stupe Mc
Gonigle says he can't get into tbe
war because they're only going to
take fathers.
? ? ?
The Nazis have 30 different ways
of expressing it when they have tak
en a big licking. And they will soon
be able to use them all at one time.
Said the Nazis fleeing across the
Dneiper
"It was our mistake going in deep
er."
? ? ?
Reaction
Fancy skaters wherever sfcen
Tend to drive me off my bean. '
And I ena scream until I'm green
At fOncv *k atinff on tKn
pppfr
Sunflower Quilt
HPHE "Sunflower" is one of the
^ easiest of the quilt designs to
make?the diamond-shaped pieces
are easy to cut and a block works
up quickly. Use brown-flecked per
cales, tiny patterned cream and
yellow calicoes, grass-green and
leaf-green cottons. Do the center
in vivid yellow. Quilt has 12 pieced
blocks, each 14 inches square?12
plain blocks.
? ? ?
To obtain cutting patterns for the Sun
flower Quilt (Pattern No. 5161) complete
piecing and finishing directions, amounts
of all materials specified, send 16 cents
in coins, your name and address and the
pattern number.
HOME NEEDLEWORK
106 Seventh Ave. New Tork, N. T.
Hardest Wood Used for
Shaft Bearings in Ships
Many of the ships being built
today use wood as material for
stern shaft bearings?the hardest
wood in the world?usually called
lfgnum-vitae. According to the
dictionary, lignum-vitae is also
known as the zygophyllaceous
genua guuiauum?out mis lerm,
obviously isn't often used around
shipyards.
The wood, in addition to being
very hard, is also very heavy?it
is so heavy that it will not float in
water?so hard that shaping it is a
most difficult procedure?yet each
block is worked to a .004 inch
exactness. In a six-foot stem shaft
bearing, there are 128 separate
blocks. Channels between the
blocks permit the circulation of
salt water, the only lubrication
necessary.
N. I You breathe freer al
\ most Instantly as lust
2 drops Penetro Nose
Hin, Drops open your cotd
1 UUraill crossed nose to give
BnL2/#f your head cold air.
1 ASS/1 Caution: Use only as
directed. 26c, 2H times
/ I as much for 60c. Get
/ y Penetro Nose 11 rops^
Buried in Busy Street
So that he might never be for
gotten, Saint Said Bou Ahmed
years ago left orders that he be
buried in the center of a busy
street in Tunis, which is so nar
row that the native passersby
must step around his tomb.
SNAPPY FACTS
ABUUI
RUBBER
i t
In the 45 years between 1559
and 1954, the output of rub
ber produced by the Par East
plantations lumped from half
a ton to 99 per cent of the
world's supply ? 1954 ship
ments were 1,000,000 tons.
The first official record, that
for 1999, shows that four tons
of rubber were produced from
4000 acres under cultivation*
The greatest enemies to the long
Ufa of natural rubber are sunN^it,
heat, otts, greases and solvents.
The ultra-violet rays of the sun pen
etrate the surface of rubber, caus
ing It to oxidise; heat causes dete
rioration, and oils develop sweVng
and softening, snaking the rubber
more susceptible to dome go.
^Goodrich]