Newspapers / The Franklin Times (Louisburg, … / Dec. 19, 1941, edition 1 / Page 9
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)/& tfptfillipjr IF THAT TAX-DEDUCTION FROM FAT ENVELOPES IDEA OOES 'r FURTHER Boss ? You say you might take a job with us? Applicant? I think so. What it the pay? Boss ? It's fifty minus. Applicant? Minus what? Boss? Minus what the government doesn't takeout of your envelope. Applicant? I'll have to get more money than that. Boss ? More money than what? Applicant ? More than there wouldn't be left out of what I don't get. ? ? ? Boss? Let'i be practical. "How much money do you want? Applicant ? Well, on my last job I Cot $55 if. Boss? If what? Applicant ? If the government didn't get there first. And I know right now where I can go to work on a salary of sixty provided. " Boss ? Provided? Applicant ? Yes, provided not too much is extracted. * ? ? Boss ? Come, come, exactly how much do you want to go to work for me? Applicant ? I'll take fifty-eight E.U. Boss? What's E.U. stand for? Applicant? Envelope untouched! ? ? ? Boss? I can't do that. The best I can do 1* to put you on at a salary of fifty-seven S.F.A.W.K. Applicant ? S.F.A.W.K.? Boss? Yeah. That stands for So Far-As-We-Know. ? ? ? Applicant ? That means my salary is S.T.W.W.W. or Subject To Wash ington Weekly Whims. I can't run my house according to whims. I've got to know how much I am going to get each week. Boss ? You can solve that by buy ing groceries and paying rent on the Federal I.Y.H.A.L., or If-You-Have Anything-Left plan. ? ? ? Applicant? No. You see. what I want is to know how I stand at the end of each week. ' Boss ? I have the same dream, mister. There's nothing in it Applicant? But ain't a man enti tled to know from week to week how he stands financially? ^ Boss? Don't talk like a reaction ary! Listen, this is my last proposi tion. I'll give you fifty-seven dollars and a half S.T.R. it M. Applicant? S.T.R. & M.T Boss ? Subject to Roosevelt and Morgenthau. ? ? ? Applicant ? No, thanks. But I know a feller who might work tor you. He's a beginner. What do you pay a beginner? Boss ? We pay ten dollars minus to begin with. At the end of a year If he makes good we advance him to fifteen dollars minus. Applicant? That leaves him owing both you and the government money. Boss? Yes. Applicant ? I can see there's no fu ture in working. Boss ? Nonsense. One of our best men here started with us on one dollar a week and worked it up to a mere pittance. Applicant? That's an exceptional case. Boss? Not at all. Look at me. When I began here I worked for nothing. Now my salary has grown to such proportions that everything I get goes to the government. Applicant? In other words, you still get nothing. Boss ? Yes, but if I work hard I can double it (Curtain with a thud.) ? ? ? NOT BAD This department never knew Chief Justice Hughes was much of a wit until it read "Pulitzer," which tells of the time when Mr. Hughes or dered lobster and got one with a claw missing. "Where's the other claw?" he asked. - "Well, I'll tell you," explained the waiter. "They are shipped alive in barrels and they get into fights. Now and then one loses a claw." "All right Take this one back," replied Mr. Hughes, "and bring me a WINNER!" ? ? ? TAKING NO CHANCES A vitamin in the B group known aa "SPAB" will restore gray hair to its natural color, experiments have shown. The element li also used in making TNT, it is an nounced. We'd hate to get our hair back to a nice raven black and then have our whole face explode just as we were admiring ourself in the mirror. ? ? ? VIEWPOINT The Windsors we wish very well; To love them more we couldn't; But gala trips in times like these . . . Oh, how we wish they wouldn't! ? ? ? We know a man whose doctor says he must take a long rest *o he has - planned to spend the winter in Wall Street ? ? ? 'Italy Orders 10 O'clock Curfew." ? headline. ? ' Mussolini doesn't want tne folks to tee things any darker. Fun for the Whole Family BIG TOP By ED WHEELAN LALA PALOOZA Moving Pictures J T VINCENT, I'M GONNA )/ I THINK HIDE MY JEWELRY V IT'S IN THAT OLD SECRET BEHIND WALL SAFE WHILE I'M THAT WORKIN-- WHERE IS A PICTURE, THAT SAFE r*r^r? ^ ? V LALA ANYWAV?_^r<^ ||? L NO , IT AIN'T HERE - IT MUST BE BEHIND ONE OF THE OTHER PICTURES j By RUBE GOLDBERG S'MATTER POP ? Hint to Fishermen MESCAL IKE By S. L. HUNTLEY A Frame-Up. No j)oubt POP ? The Junkman Was Embarrassed so you COULDN'T HANG M/ PICTURE IN THE METROPOLITAN MUSEUM IT WAS ttO bad - By J. MILLAR WATT WE HAD TO REPAINT IT BEFOt?& WE COULD CHUCK IT OUT I Composition GLUYAS WILLIAMS ? ?an. Mtmtimmm mwwwtt km* * net** on m -CNuwmorFPM). tWB? HBOCHPO- WicHttdtRWW flf HMfiCU ON JW5, ON CWMfUS tf IKWP SrtoJ (W MOOL WDWflfc ABOtlf MO Mlffru A km ?f. law HOD ON ub -swoon carim ante* tnwww m? mukms ic? ? wmaii OfWMtJtEMMNIINe S<WBAT<BUI<6, " aTs MHftK&PMfo iMMtwrraiar P hwkkm mww ?oot ?imw ? - swtp aire -Mm Toft CHEAPER 4 ______ Neighbor ? Of count, it's none ol my business, but why did you mar ry your hired man? The Ex-Widow? Why, before we were married I was paying him $30 a month and board. Now I onlj board and lodge him. TOO FAMILIAR Mr. Frog? You don't know m?, eh, Polly? ..Well, I've known you ever since you were a polly-wog. Misi Frog? Kindly speak of me as Pauline Wog, please. Only ray intimate acquaintances ever caV me Polly. CAN'T BE WRONG Editor ? I can't use your jokes. Jokesmlth ? That's odd. They've been used by all the best papers Id this country. REASON ? ' V "Do girls do as well in college u boys!" "As well or better." "Indeed! And how do you account for that?" "Well, they have a lot more op portunities to study, for one thing; a girl doesn't have to put In a lot of time coloring a meerschaum pipe." FAME ' ' " "What reason have they <p hope, that they can gain admission to th? smart set?" "Before they were married each of them denied in at least a dozen j interviews that they were engaged." IMPORTANT "What * noble looking man. H* must be a man of great impor tance." "Yes, my dear. He's the bead waiter of this ^lotel." AROUND AND ABOUND "How many lap* to the bngmil* am that track?" "Twenty, and I can do it fci too minute* flat."
The Franklin Times (Louisburg, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Dec. 19, 1941, edition 1
9
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