Pole Kat Kounty, 1
Rackoon Nashun. J
Mistur Editur—I prevale ini-
self uv this present ockashun tu
take mi seto tu let you no how I
am a getin along.
Mistur Editur, I expected tu
divulg tu yu a phue ackownts uv
mi trip tu Edgfeel kounty in
South Caliner. Well, tu persede,
I went tu that kounty fur no uth-
er purpus whatsumever but tu
see the young ladies, which I
suckseeded in duin tu a consid-
derbel extent, & I tel yu I gased
on them with a kind uv a look
that no human tung kan deskribe.
I foun sum uv the verry most
ackomodatinest gurls, espeshaly
the won what coamed her hare
doun in her forid an then tuck it
bak bohinc her ycers.^0, I tel yu
she lookt the most butifulest I
ever sede—sich winen smiles an
Dutiful ise. Mistur Editur, I foun
it most difycult tu git tu tawkin
with her abowt luv, for when I
wood insinuate sech a thing she
wood jest bust rite out an laf, an
that wood make me fele verry
awkerd, but i jest perseded as if
nothin bad ockurd. Mistur Edy-
tur, it wood be unposerbel tu tel
yu the hole confersashun, so i wil
jes giv yu aidy. When I started
to start of, ses I, “Mis cant i
hav the pleshure uv shakin hans
with yu ?” Ses she, “Yes, ifyu
wil make me won promis.” Ses
I, “I wiil,’’—thinkin it wiis tu cum
bak urly. “Well,” ses she, “it is'
this, that yu wont never onderde-
preshate mo so mutch agin as tu
ax me tu luv yu.” Then ses I,
“Thanky,” not noin what else tu
sa, an with that i left in a flurry,
an as I wus pursedin up the rode
at rapit rait, I met the ole man—
her daddy—an .ses he tu me
“Yung man, whi air yu in sich a
hurry?” And ses I, “I promist
tu mete a feller up the rode,.an
the time is dew.” At that the ole
feller slept up an shuck hans with
me, gud-bi, an axt me tu call agin
an I thankt him an perseded on:—
Now, Mistur Edytur, ifyu nr eny
uv the reeders uv our good little
Weekly paper kin giv me enny
advise what tu du, yu. wil mutch
obleeg Yearn trooly
Mr. Bob Jonsing, Esq.
Diogenes,' being asked which
beast’s bite was the most dange
rous, replied : “If you mean wild
beast’s it’s the slanderer’s; if
tame ones, the flatterer’s.”
Mr. W. C., a conceited snob,
was so fond of fine clothes that
he revelled in them by day and
dreamed of them by night. One
evening he visited a lady, and re
moved his overcoat, etc., in the
hall, preparatory to entering the
parlor, when the lady heard him
utter the following sensible words.
Taking his overcoat and hanging
it up, he said: “Hang there, you
fifty dollar overcoat !” Pulling
off his gloves, and putting them
on the table, “Lay there, you five
dollar gloves!” Placing ' his hat
on the rack, “Haug there, you
ten dollar hat!” Putting his cane
in the corner, “Stand there, you
fifteen dollar cane !” Then, en
tering the parlor, he was about to
sit dowd, when the lady pulled
the chair from under him, and as
she left the room, said: “Lay
there, you ten cent fool!” He
has not been around that house
since.
How Young Men Should
Drink.—Stand up straight like a
man, your left side to the bar,
take a glass neatly and firmly be
tween the thumb and forefinger
of the right hand, letting the lit
tle finger drop down near the
bottom of the glass, swing the
glass in a plane exactly correspond
ing with the top of the bar, until
it is precisely before you. Just
then throw the head back a little,
push the chin forward, so as to
leave the throat in a full open,
easy position. Compress the lips
tightly, draw a full breath through
the nostrils, and with a graceful
curve raise the glass until the
I rim is within about three inches
| of your chin. Now is die supreme
moment. Just here, turn, your
eyes upwards, think of your
mother, and open your hand in
stead. of your mouth! If any one
laughs it will be an insult which
you should resent by not going
there again.
A clerk who had a mind for
logic, applied it to a farmer with
advantage thus :
Farmer. “Dot any cow-bells?”
Clerk. “Yes; step tins way.”
Farmer. “Those are too small;
haven’t you any larger ?”
Clerk. “No sir; the large ones
are all sold.”
Rusticus started off and got as
far as the door, when the clerk
called him back.
“Look here, stranger; take one
of these small bells tor your cow,
and you won’t have halfthe trou
ble in finding her; for when you
hear her bell you will know she
can’t be far off.”
The logic eras irresitible, and
the farmer bought the bell.
A wag who saw seventeen cler
gyman at the Saratoga - races in
quired if the races were to be
opened with prayer, but he was
hustled off the grounds.
An Embarrassing Position.—
T say, conductor, do you know
that good looking lady there, with
a book ?’
‘Yes, I have seen her a
times.’
‘By Jove, she’s splendid ?’
‘Yes, I think she is.’
few
‘I would like to occupy the seat
next to her ?’
‘Why don’t you ask her ?’
‘I don’t know but it would be
out of order!’
‘It would not if she was willing
to have you occupy it. Of course
you claim to be a gentleman.’
‘0, certainly. If you are ac
quainted with her, give me an in-j
troductiou; that is, if you have no I
objection. I
‘Certainly not.’
Fixing his hair, mustache and
whiskers in becoming style, he, ;
followed the conductor, who, on ■
reaching the seat where the lady
sat, said, with a peculiar twinkle
in his eye.
,of New
‘My wife, Mr.
York, who assures nip that he
will die before reaching Detroitif
he does not form your acquain
tance.’
The gentleman stammered,
stuttered, grew red in the face,
faltered out some excuse, and re
turned to his seat, leaving the
lady, in company with her hus
band, to enjoy the joke.
^MV*^ *O»
Aii English reviewer says there
is more poetry written now in
one year than was written during
the eighteenth century. Much, of
it is fairly good-quite as good
as would have been sufficient to
establish a great reputation
among our grandfathers.
“Vegetable pills!” exclaimed
an old lady; “don’t talk to mo of
such stuff! The' best vegetable
pill ever made is apple-dumpling.
For destroying a knawing in the
stomach there is nothing like it.
It always can be relied on.”
They toll of an old lady in
Middlebury who walked over a
bridge that was marked “dange
rous” without seeing the sign,
and when informed of the fact on
the other side turned back in
great alarm and hastily recrossed
it.
The Grand Secret of beauty is
health—the secret of health is
the power to eat, digest and assi- I
mu late
wholesome food
proper quantity
Heroism L active genius ; gen
ius, contemplative heroism. He
roism is the self-devotion ofgen-
ious manifesting itself in action.
The Vindicator reports a three
handed man in Newton—a right
hand, a left hand and little be
hind hand. . '
I Marbiage.—Men and women, and es-
1 pecially young people, do not know that
il takes years to marry completely two
i hearts, even of the most loving and
; well sorted. But nature allows no sad-
| den change. We slope very gradual!}'
; from the cradle to the summit of life.
; A happy wedlock is a long falling in
love. I know young persons think love
, only belongs to brown hair, and plump,
' round, crimson cheeks. So it does for
: its beginning, but the golden marriage
I is a part of love which the bridal day
' knows nothing of. Louth is the tassel
I and silken flower of love; age is the full
corn, ripe and solid in the ear. Beauti
ful is the morning of love with its pro
phetic crimson, violet, purple and gold,
with its hopes of days that are to come.
Beautiful also is the evening of love,
with its glad remembrances, and its rain
bow side turned toward heaven as well
as earth. Young people marry their op
posites in temper and general character,
and such a marriage is commonly a good
match. They do it instinctively. The
young man does not saw, “My black eyes
require to be wed with blue, and my
over vehemence requires to be a little
modifiel with somewhat of dullness
and reserve.” When these opposites
come together to be wed, they do not
know it, but each thinks the other just
like himself. Old people never marry
their opposites; they marry their simi
lars, and from calculation Each of these
two arguments are very proper. In their
longjourney these young opposites will
fall out by the way a great many times,
and both get away from the road; but
each will charm the other back again,
by, and by, and become reconciled.
The man will be nobler and larger for
being associated with so much humani
ty unlike himself; and she will be a no
bler woman for having manhood beside
her that seeks to correct her deficiencies
and supply her with what she lacks, if
the diversity be not too great, and there
be real piety and love in their hearts to
begin with. The old bridegroom, hav
ing a much shorter journey to make,
must ^associate himself with one like
himself. A perfect and complete mar
riage is, perhaps, as rare as perfect per
sonal beauty. A real happy marriage
of love and judgment, between a noble
man and woman, is one of the .things so
very handsome that if the sun were, as
Greekpoets fa filed, a god, lie might stop
the world in order to feast his eyes With
such a specttele.— Theodore Parker.
REMAINS OF AN UNKNOWN, HUMAN
Race.—Th's Dahlonega, Signal publishes
the following strange facts:
On the farm of Mr. Faii o i Whaley,
near Moorfield, in Lumpkin county, Ga.,
is a skirt of woods which possesses char
acteristics of deep interest. About three
inches below the surface of the entire
tract may be found innumerable bones,
evidently the remains of an extinct spe
cies of the human race- Several mounds
are ; Isi in the woods, and in one which
has been partially explored were found
skulls and boues which; from their ( size,
must have belonged to a race far more
gigantic than the race which now in
habit the earth. In this mound were
also found clay utensils; also, arrow
heads cut out of solid rock, and pipes of
the same material. Such a memorial of
the past starts many inquiries. Was the
place once a battle ground, where the
aborigines fought to maintain the glory
of their respective tribes? Or was it a
common burial-ground? The first seems
the most plausible theory, inasmuch as
the whole tract, covering at least fifteen
acres! lias millions of hones but a few
inches below he surface. It is evident
that they were buried, butoriginally ex
posed to view, until the accumulated de
posits of time formed the black, rich
soil which covers them. But whatever
theory may be adopted, it is certain that
these ebony memorials antedate history,
, an 1 furnish another proof of how little
I is known of the races and tribes who
flourished it may seem, centuries ago.