Newspapers / The Anson Times (Wadesboro, … / Nov. 13, 1878, edition 1 / Page 2
Part of The Anson Times (Wadesboro, N.C.) / About this page
This page has errors
The date, title, or page description is wrong
This page has harmful content
This page contains sensitive or offensive material
THE HERALD. WADESBORO, N. C. Our Prejudice Against Foreign Coun; tries. Harper's Magatibe for October. Surely no candid critic would com pare the historical and artistic and liter ary charms of other lands with ours, nor the society and scenery of monarchical Europe with those of our free and favored lands. Switzerland is very well for those who have never seen the White Mountains or the Adirondack, the Sierras and Yosemite; and Rome, with its antiquated history, and huge old-fashioned palaces and mouldy churches, and dilapidated gardens and galleries, is doubtless interesting to per sons like Goethe, who have merely, to cross the Alps and pass through Lom bards and Tuscany, by Como and Mi lan, by Florence and Thrasimene, to see it; and indeed it is a very creditable city even to those who are familiar with New York. ! There is much, also, to be justly said in favor of Eneland and France and Germany. For very old and necessarily somewhat musty coun tries, they furnish considerable reward for the trouble of the American patriot in crossing the ocean to see them. They are all excellent countries in their way ; and their inhabitants, although exceed ing queer, are not destitute of interest, especially to the American philanthro pist. ' It is, however, necessary to see them with intelligence and tempered expecta tion. In the hut of the Esquimaux we do not look for the lace draperies of the Fifth avenue, nor upon the panks of the' Thames or in the shadow of the Vatican can we expect to find buckwheat cakes and baggage checks. It was very natural in the Englishman of the last century to be so hot against popery and wooden shoes. The gambols of polly wogs in a pool are entertaining to the superior observer. The American to day contemplates with equanimity the labels that are pasted on his trunks, for he remembers Gulliver in Lilliput, and he neither expects or demands that the landscapes, i the customs, the conven iences, the society, the government, the religion, or the people of other countries shall be as perfect as those of his native land. God has been graciously pleased to make him an American, as he made Shakspeare the greatest of poets, the rose the queen of flowers, and the sun the source of light and heat. For His infinitely inscrutable purposes He has also been pleased to make some extra ordinary countries and people. But it would be a kind of impiety to suppose " that the chosen land and nation are to learn anything from the experience of such countries or the genius of such people. How can people, for instance, : who have no baggage checks, and whose idea of a dessert does not go beyond a gooseberry tart, which, also, they are not yet civilized enough to call properly pie how can such a people possibly in struct the proud denizens pi a free West in any detail of convenience or of government, in any kind of mechanical workmanship, or scientific, or political, or economical knowledge? Is not our home in the setting sun? Are not our institutions democratic and popular? Have welnot .abolished monarchy and aristocracy? Can we not sweep without change of cars, and with baggage checked through, from the Atlantic to the Pacific? We were victorious in the Revolution, in the Mexican war, and, above all, in the civil war; and did not our little navy do glorious service in the war of 1812? And if these things be so, if these great facts are already his torical, is it not absurd to suggest that we can learn anything of other coun tries, or that we may notr-nay, must not have our own theories of commercial intercourse, of currency, and of gravi tation? . Let it be enough to condemn anything whatever that it is not American. It is, indeed, ridiculous in England to held out against the baggage check because it is American. But despite the caotious ness of unpatriotic snarlers, wfio are doubtless bribed with foreign gold, it is the height of wisdom in America to held out against the laws of science as expounded by Englishmen, and against the experience of 'je very country in the world whose home is not in the free West. These are evidently the patriotic sentiments of one American statesman, who, standing tiptoe upon a jocund mountain-top, lately exclaimed : " Fellow-citizens, if we lack any thing as a nation, it is the spirit to rise to the magnificient height of our posi tion and our opportunities. For this grand America we must have a grand American policy, which will not look to European bankers for theories of finance, or to Gobden Clubs for theories of in dustrial economy. At least we should be the arbiters and masters of our own destiny, even if we do not care to insist upon a barren, although rightful, pre eminence in the affairs of the world." How characteristically British that is, insular, cockney, provincial, small it is to refuse to use baggage checks be cause they are an American invention! Why should those absurd John Bulls insist upon a grand policy of incon venience? 'Other nations are certainly extremely ridiculous. But for our grand America we ought to have an American alphabet of I the English language, and a grand, exclusive, American theory and practice of medicine. A Succinct Account of the Sun. Professor Rudolph, in a lengthy paper oh the sun, remarks: "It is a molten or white hot mass, equaling in bulk, 1,260, 000 worlds like our own, having a sur rounding ocean of gas on fire, 50,0u0 miles deep, tongues of flame darting up wards more than 50,000 miles, volcanic force that hurl into the solar atmos sphere luminous matter to the height of 160,000 miles drawing to itself all the worlds belonging to our family of planets, and holding them all in their proper places ; attracting with such su perior force the millions of solid stray masses that are wandering in the fath omless abyss that they rush helplessly towards him and fall into his fiery em brace. And thus he continues his sub lime and restless march through his mighty orbit having a period of more than 18,000,000 years. , FOR THE YOUNG FOLKS. The Discontented jBee. Little Miss Bee was crying, yet some people would not have known it, for it is not everybody's ears which can distinguish between a bee's sobbing and singing. But this one was crying, there was no doubt of it; her sobs were piteous to listen to, as she leaned her head against the door of the hive, tiny tears trickling down one by one such a small, despond ing, sorrowful creature she looked, with alf the gay, bright, laughing world around her. For it was summer time, the garden was gay with flowers, the scent of which filled the air with per fume, and all the trees were waving and bending, and laughing together, as if they rejoiced in the clear, blue sky above, rejoiced in the sunshine, rejoiced in all the summer gladness, and in life itself. And away, nH far from the cot tage garden, were the downs, where the breezes rioted and romped, the sunlight lay warm and golden, and the harebells, wild thyme, and many other wild flowers, shook and swayed to and fro, as if .with laughter, making a low, sweet sound, like the chiming of fairy bells. Miss Bee's young friends and! compan- ions were an up mere at meir uany toil, which was very like play to them, so much they loved the gathering of sweets and pollen, and bringing home their tiny burdens, to lay by fdr the winter. Ah! yes, they were up' there. She heard them go tr j ping off, a rollicking party, wnne sue i ay niaaen away in a stately lily, too miserable and discon tented to join them, and now they were gone, and the hive was quiet at least, free from their clamoring young voices, she crept into the porch-like entrance to have a good cry. " Oh, I could be happy , if I had some thing great and grand to do, if I were beautiful even, which I am not! Oh, if I were ja beautiful butterfly,! my life would be a glory of joy and pleasure, all the world would admire me!" so she wailed, and just then, as if to mock her, a lovely painted butterfly went sailing by, spreading her wingsx)f rainbow tints to the sun. Little Miss Bee's sebs seemed to be choking her, as she, watched the bright creature go flashing away out of sight. " Why, Miss Bee, what's the trouble ?" It was a bluebottle-fly which spoke, a friendly old fellow, but somewhat bluff in nis ways.v " Oh, Mr. Bluebottle, I want to be butterfly in short, anything but what I am, and J don't care who knows it." she spoke, but she did care, for she hung her head in shame. ." Well, that doesn't speak much for your wisdom, since you are a bee, and always will be a bee," replied plain- spoken Mr. Bluebottle. "But I don't want to be a bee, and what shall I do ? was the hopeless re joinder. Lt TIT 11 , T a 1 i t i . v en, mae tne most ot wnat you don't lite to be." buzzed the other "And what is that?" queried Miss Bee, fretfully, " " Do your duty," and on went Mr. Bluebottle, who was not given to making many remarks. He doesn't know what it is to wish to soar, and rise, and shine." The little bee spoke in scornful pitv. " Who doesn't ?" asked a hollow voice, and a worm lilted its head out of its hole. "Why, that thickheaded bluebottle fly," rejoined Miss Bee, disdain in her tone, at talking to a worm. " Well, you do, I should think; and were I you, Miss Bee, I should be the happiest being alive. As it is, I try to De happy, because lam what 1 ought to "You are but a poor earthworm!" scoffed Miss Bee ; and the worm, abashed, Tva aiieu l, uuu urew in us neaa. "What's that you were-saying?' asked a nrettv modest erav mntH! flit. ting by. She had no great pretension to beauty, save when the sunlight fell on ner, then she shone like polished silver. "1 was speaking to that wretched worm yonder," explained Miss Bee ; for the humble worm had raised his head again to listen, but spoke never a word. "Why wretched worm?" questioned missmotn. " Because it's so earthlypmd has no ambition," responded the other. " Does ambition make people happy, or keep them from being wretched ?" and the little moth eyed the other nar rowly. " No, not happy, perhaps," faltered the bee ; J but I think it grand not to be content to be humble and common." "Humble and common! I think we are all humble and common enough. I shall wish you good morning ;" and the moth spread her wings and soared away, a sil very mite. "Oh dear, will nobody sympathize with me?" moaned the unhappy one. And now the soft breezes came wan dering down from the hills, rippling with the laughter of the tiny laborers up among the chiming bell-like flowers. Silly little bee! letting the precious mo ments glide by unimproved, in vain re grets for what could never be. "Who wants sympathy?" asked a tiny ant, toiling along with a baby ant in her mouth. s "Oh, Mrs. Ant, I do; but you can't help me," spoke the little bundle of dis content, pouting as much as a bee can pout. " I am not so certain of that," rejoined the honest ant; " what is the matter?" " I want to be what I am not," was Miss Bee's explanation. " Well, youll never be that, because nature is nature. Still, I am sorry for you," spoke little Mrs. Ant. " Isn't it sad that I should only be a bee and you an ant, toiling, drudging creatures, without beauty or grace, when we could at least, I could enjoy so much, if only I had the beauty j of a butterfly, and had time to go here and there to be admired." "Nonsense, child 1 nonsense 1" cried homely Mrs. Ant. "Why ours is a nobler life, if we choose to make it so, than ever a butterfly could rejoice in li ving. We are teaching the wide world a lesson. Busy as a bee,' 'Industrious as an ant,' is said of those wh, work, and toil, and never grow weary. Homely in appearance we are, I grant, but there was never a life so lowly and mean which could not be made beautiful and noble by patient perseverance in well-doing. If we are among earth's humblest and lowliest workers, I don't see why we shouldn't make the most of our lives and be hearty and happy, doing our very best, as nature intended us to do. Why, it was only this morning that I heard a boy singing a ditty just suited for such as we are : " If I were s cobbler, I'd make it nay pride The best of old cobblers to be : If I were a tinker, do tinker beside Should mend at old kettle like me. Let who will be second, The first I'm determined to be." Miss Bee was silent, that song was thrilling her through and through. "Come," said Mrs. Ant, "as it is a fine day, and niv work is forward at home, I've a mind to go and see my cousins up on the downs, if you will bear me company, and then you can fall in with your friends it is light work and willing hands up there on such a day as this." So Mrs. Ant laid her baby ant in a daisy, which served for a cradle, and off went the two together as much as one flying and the other crawling could be supposed to keep together. Joy, gladness, merriment and laugh ter were rioting among the sunbeams there, and honest labor was the order of the day. The ant-knolls were teeming with life. Mrs. Bee happening to alight on a fairy circle, was changed into an ant for the time being, and went with her sage old friend into the midst of an ant village, nobody there knowing she was a changeling. The streets were full of passers to and fro, those who brought in, and those who had to store; some were what we should call merchants, changing and exchanging goods with cine another, tor there was no coin cur rent there. Some were humble sellers, bright, active little creatures, with twinkling eyes, others were porters, others attended to the sick ! There were nurses walking here and there with baby ants, wee, weak, colorless things, out" for their daily airing, as we may suppose, but ali were happy, and con tented, and this is the song, they sung as they labored . " The summer is short, the winter is long, Work and be happy.be strong." And up above, the bees were buzzing that it was sundown, and they were going home. Then Miss Bee and Mrs. Ant set off homeward, for the little bee Mid not wish to join her companions, they laden with thefruitsof tlieirlabors, she bearing home nothing at all. But the next morning,at sunrise, she was away to the downs ; 'she had learnt the secret of life, that great things are small, if done for vain glory and to please seif, and small things great, if performed honestly and well for the sake of duty and right ; that the labors of the lowly ones make up much of the great world's happiness and comfort. How she toiled all that summer, poor little ardent thing, forgetting self and pleasure, because she was so full of inward satisfaction in doing and bearing. When winter came and the butterflies drcoped, and shrank away out of sight, forgotten, when even the pattern ants fed on their summer gleanings, and thought not of ' others, Widow Grant sold honey and bought firing for her children's comfort with the money ; and Miss Bee was glad in the great joy of knowing that she had not toiled ana la bored all the fair summer for herself alone, but also for others. She knew now that small could be made great, and that great become small; that, as the wise man puts it, "He that watereth shall be watered also himself." NorristQwn Herald Etchings. Miss Ada Cavendish, the English actress, ought to succeed in New York. She has plenty of papers to-back-her. Three base-ball players have been killed this summer, while only one polo player had a shin bruised. Polo is a very tame pastime, and can never hope to supersede the noble game of base ball. " How Shall I Earn a Living?" is the title of an article in a contemporary. Perhaps it never occurred to the writer to go to work. That is the best way we know of to earn a living. The Post-office Department has ruled that a husband has no control over the correspondence of his wife. But this decision will not prevent a man from carrying his wife's letter around in his inside coat pocket three weeks before mailing it. " Dancing for a rooster " is a popular pastime among the Germans. They are generally gotten up by a saloon-keeper, who asks himself: "Chanticleer more than expenses by this roos-ter get the boys into my saloon ?" A snake was recently caught in a Welsh church by " charming" him from his retreat by the music of a harmo nium. A snake is probably the only living creature that can be " charmed" by a harmonium. And no doubt the reptile preferred to come out and die than to listen any longer to its strains. Ancient Sophists. Protagoras, an Athenian rhetorician, had agreed to instruct Evalthn in rhetoric, on condition that the latter should pay him a certain sum of money if he gained his first cause. Evalthus, when instructed in all the precepts of the art, refused to pay Protagoras, who consequently brought him before the Areopagus, and said to the judges: " Any verdict that you may give is in my favor: if it is on mv side, it the condemnation of F,ltVina. if against me, lie must pay me, because he gains his first cause' "I confess," icpucu jL,vannus, mat the verdict will be pronounced either for or against me; in either case I shall be equally acquitted; if the judges pronounce in my favor, you are condemned : if thev pronounce for you, according to onr agreement, 1 owe you nothing for I lose my first cause." The judges being unable to reconcile the pleaders, ordered them to reaDnear hpfnrA tha r,,f - jrx ..v vuv wuiu vu- hundred years afterwards. We have always been onnnspH - mil- itary parades, and now the news comes inat me .National Bank of Toledo was robbed of one thousand five hundred dollars on the occasion of Q ronanf -mil. itary demonstration in that city. There must be some legislation ject. In the name of a long suffering public, we demand it. Chester is the keeper at one of the fast summer resorts. The guests think he must be a descend ant of the chief in Scott' " Marmin from the way he charges. Cruise of the Polly Ann. BY ARTEMUS WARD. In overhaulin one of my old trunks the other day, I found the follerin' jer nal of a vyge on the starnch cana wl boat, Polly Ann, which happened to the sub scriber when I was a young man (in the Brite Lexington of youth, when thar aint no sich word as falel on the Wa bash Canawl : Monday, 2 p. m. Got under wa. Flosses not remarkable frisky at fust. Had. to buiid fires under 'em before they'd start. Started at last very sud dent, causin' the bote for to lurch vilently and knockin' me orf from my pins. (Saler frase.) Sevral passengers on bord. Parst throo deliteful country. Honist farmers was to work sewin' korn and other projuce in the fields. Sur blime scenery. Large red-heded gal reclinin' on the banks of the Canawl, bathin' her feet. Turned in at 15 minutes parst eleving. Toosday. Riz at 5 and went up on the poop deck. Took a grown person's dose of licker with a member of the Injianna legislater, which he urbanely insisted on allowing me to pay for. Bote tearin throo the briny waters at the rate of two Nots a hour, when the boy on the leadin hoss shouted : "Sale hoe!" "Wkr away ?" hollered the capting, clearin his glass (a empty black bottle, with the bottom knocked out) and bringin it to his eagle eye. "Bout four rods to the starbud," screamed the boy. " .Tes so," screech t the capting. " What vessel's that air?" "The Kickin Warier of Terry Hawt, and be darned to you !" "I, I sir!" hollered our capting. "Reef your arft hoss, splice your main jib boom, and hall in your chambermaid. What's up in Terry Hawt?" " You know Bill Spiker?" sed the cap ting of the Warier. " Wall, I reckin. He kin eat more fride pork nor any man of his heft on the Wabash. He's a ornament to his sex." " Wall," continnerd the capting of the Kickin Warier, " Wilyim got a little owly the tother day, an' got to prancin aroun' town on that old white mare of his'n, and bein' in a playful mood he rid up in front of the court 'us' whar old Judge Perkins was a holdin court, and let drive his rifle at him. The bullet didn't hit the Judge at all: it only jest whizzed parst his left ear, lodgin in the wall behind him; but what d ye 'spose the old despot did ? Why, he actooally fined Bill, ten dollars for contempt of court! What d'je think ot that?" arsked the capting of the Warier as he parst a long oiacK bottle over to our capting. " The country is in danger," sed our capting, raisin' the bottle to his lius. The vessels parted. No other insidents that day. Retired to my chased couch at 5 mihnits parst 10. Wednesday. Riz airlv. Wind blowin N. W. E. Hevy sea on an' ship rollin' wildlv in consekerfts of nennfr-mms r I : i 'havm' been fastened to the forrerd hoss's tail. Heave two," roared the capting to the man at the rudder, as the Polly giv' a f ritef ul toss. I was sick and sorry I'd cum. " Meave two! ' repeated the capting. 1 went below. " Heave two " I hearn him holler agin, and stickin' my head out of the cabin winder, 1 hev. The hosses becam dosile eventooally, an' I felt better. The sun burst out in all his snlendor. disree-ardlpsa nf att- pense, and lively natur' put on her best i,a.o. i! t uaioii ucauuiui village of Lima, which lookt sweet indeed, with its neat white cottages, institoots of learnin' an' other evijences of civiliza- snun, mciudin" a party ot bald-heded cullered men who was play in' 3 card monty on the stoops of the Red Eagle tavern. All, all . was food for my 2 Eoetic sole. I went below to breakfast, ut vittles had lost their charms. "Take sum of this," sed the capting, shovin' a bottle tords my plate. " It's whisky. A few quarts ailers sets me right when my stummick gits out of order. It's a excellent tonic." I de clined the seductive flooid. Thursday. Didn't rest well larst night on account of a uprore made by the capting, who stopt the Bote to go ashore an' smash in the windows of a grosery. He was bro't back in about a hour, with his hed done up in a red handkercher, his eyes bein' swelled up orful, and his nose very much out of iint. He was bro't abord on a shutter by hiscrue, and deposited on the cabin floor, the parsenjers all risin' up in their births, pushing the red curtains aside & lookin' out to see what the matter was. "Why do you allow your pashuns to run away with you in this onseemly stile, my misguided friend?" sed a solium lookin' man in a red flannen nite cap. " Why do you sink yourself to the Beasts of the fields?" " Wall, the fack is," sed the capting, risin' hisself on the shutter, " I've ben a little prejudiced agin that grosery for sum time. But I made it lively fer the boys, Deacon! Bet your life!" He larft a short, wild larf and called for his jug. feippm a few pints, he smiled gently upon the passenjers, sed " Bless you! bless you!" an' fell into a sweet sleep. JbiVentooally we reacht our jerney's end. This was in the davs of Old Lontr Sign, be4 the iron hoss foaled. This was wv jl Div,viuuvbn,i3 nuo gviu 1UUUU UUOblll their bilers & sendin' peepil higher nor a Kite, lhem was hat)DV dava when peepil was intelligent & wax, figgers & livin' wild beests wasn't scoft at. ' O dase of my boy hoed I'm deremin on ye now." (Poeckry.) " What a piece of work is man ! How noble in reason ! How infinite in facul ties ! In form and moving, how express and admirable. In action, how like an angel. In apprehension, how like a god !" And yet, somehow or other, he never looks that when he is backed up to a peanut stand taking in a tail-pocket cargo of peanuts. Hawkeye. A Greenfield child has said its pray ers regularly every night since it was taught to lisp " Now I lay me down to sleep." Hearing that its parents were about to removelhither. it closed its last evening prayer thus: "Dood-bye, Dod, we's goin' to live in Turners Falls!" Turners Falh Reporter. Why is a toper's nose called red when it is corn colored ? A Whale's Death Flurry. Hurrah, bovsl see she rises!" was the general shout. Up came the whale, more suddenly than we expected. A general dash was made at her by all the boats. "'Stern for your lives; 'stern of all !" cried some of the more experienced harpooners. "See, she's in a flurry." First the monster flapped the water vio lently with Its fins; then its tail was elevated aloft, lashing the ocean around into a mass of foam. This was not its death flurry, for gaining strength before any more harpoons or lances could be struck into it, away it went again, head ing towards the ice. Its course was now clearly discerned by a small whirling eddy, which showed that it was at no great distance under the surface, while in its wake was seen a thin line of oil and blood which had exuded from its wound. Wearied, however, by its ex ertions and its former deep dive, it was again obliged to come to the surface to breathe. Again the eager boats dashed in, almost running on its backhand from every side it was plied with lances, while another harpoon was driven deep into it, making it doubly secured. Our boat was the most incautious, for we were right over the tail of the whale. The chief harpooner warned us-" Back, my lads; back of all," he shouted out, his own boat pulling away. " Now she's in her death flurry." These words were not out of his mouth when I saw our j harpooner leap from the boat and swfm i as fast as he could toward one of the others. I was thinking of following his example, knowing he had good reasons ! for it, for 1 had seen the fins of the ani mal flap furiously, and which had warned him, when a violent blow, which I fancied must have not only dashed the boat to pieces, but have broken every bone in our bodies, was struck on the keel of the boat. Up flew the boat in the airt. some six or eight feet at least, with the'1 remaining crew in her. Then down we came, one flyiogon one side, one on the other, but none of us hurt even, all splut tering and striking out together, while the boatcme down keel uppermost, not much the worse either. Fortunately we all got clear of the furious blows theV monster continued dealing with its tail. "Never saw a whale in such a flurry!"' said old David, into whose boat I was taken. For upwards of two minutes the flurry continued, we all the while look ing on, and no one daring to approach it; at the same time a spout of blood and mucus and oil ascended into the air from its blow-holes and sprinkled us all over. "Hurrah, my. lads, she spouts blood!" we shouted out to each other, thought we all saw and felt it nlain pnonpli. There was a last lash of that tail, not faint and scarcely rising above the water, but which, a few minutes ago, would have sent every boat round it flying into splinters. Then .all was quiet. The mighty mass, inanimate, turned slowly round upon its side, and then it floated belly up and dead: The Habits and Home of the Albatross. lEclectic Magazine. The albatross is essentially the scaven ger or the ocean, and we doubt whether it makes any attempt to capture living fish unless when very hungry, for we have seen flying fish rising in quantities while the albatross made no attempt to catch them. That the nautilus is some times eaten is evident, for we have taken it from the stomach ; but the chief food is dead fish and other refuse. In the South Atlantic we passed the dead body of a small whale, on and around which were at least a hundred of these birds, either gorged or gorging themsel ves with the blubber ; and guns discharged at them failed to induce many of them to take wing. We had on one occasion an opportunity of observing how rapidly these birds collect about a carcass. Like vultures or ravens, when an animal dies they discover it very speedily, and flock to the scene of the banquet. On a hot still evening in the South Atlantic a horse died, and when cast overboard next morning, the gases already formed by the decomposition enabled it to float. The few albatrosses in our company im mediately settled down upon it; but in less than an hour we could see through the telescope a great cloud of the birds On the sea and hovering around the un expected prize, the almost entire absence of wind having kept m within two or three miles of the spot. It may be that the usually white plumage enables strag glers, far out of human ken, to see their fellows gathering in the neighborhood of food; others again from still more re mote distances mav see them, and ao on. until stragglers over hundreds of miles of space may be gathered to one com mod rendezvous. The greater part of the year is passed by them at a distance from land, but they flock to barren and almost inacces sible rocks to breed. . There the female lays her one dirty white egg in a slight depression upon the bare earth, the sitters being frequently so close together that it is difficult to walk wittfout touch ing them. They are totally indiflerent to the presence of man, and merely in dicate their resentment of his intrusion into their nursery by snapping at him as he passes. The parents share the labor of incubation and rearing the young, and when this is over, they all go seaward together, and silence and solitude once more reign where all had lately been clamorous and busy life. They Knew He Meant It. I Fulton Time. When a newly married widower passed a crowd who were standing on First-street last week one of the party remarked: "He waited a long time before he hitched onto his second wife, didn't he?" " How long ago did his first wife die ?" queried a subdued looking stranger, who was standing near. The party figured that it had been about four years. "Too soon, too soon." mused the stranger; "if my wife should die I'd never get married again." The moisture that gathered in the stranger's eyes engulphed the crowd in a sea of svmDathv. and when h hnwri his head, and they saw the marks of a rolling-pin behind his ear, and observed that several tufts of hair were missing from his scalp, thev knew that he meant what he said. PARIS subscribed twel VP thrinconrl v w vr uucuilA dollars for the benefit of the yellow fever Bimerersoi me united States. Jones and the Barber. Oil City Derrick. " Ah ! I'm in luck," said Jones, a he entered the barber shop and found tbV barber reading a paper; "won't hav! to wait for my next' and he to.ssed hU hat in the corner, and seated himself for a shave. " How is this," said the barber, read ingfroma paper that marks iu witlv column with a blue pencil , George how's this; pretty g.j," u: it, and he read " 'Did you ever see a pump ban,!;., anything? Did you ever sea witti cism? Who ever saw a dog caH her v '" and the , good barber 1 mgned heartily at these scintillations of wit and ' mat some oi those lellow.s blamed clever. are m Then he turned to the vellow j . . i r. it'Vfr utrjiai iimrui, auu, aiu'r rtaamg t!:re four dispatches, asked Junes if t i ,i inougnt me scourge wuuia reach City. Jones said there wa a p--jiilitv would get here by the mi.i i 1 ,'; winter, and he would like to w A and fixed ud before it arrivt 1. The barber said it was a terrible 'th yawned, laid down the paper, and - tied up to the chair. lie arranged towels about Jones's neck, IVIt ,,f beard, run his finders throuch !,; .... - . . nose, turned his lower lip down ,iV',.r , ' chin, and asked him if he had tU( !i; ! fixed in the Oil Regions or in N v V,,rK" Jones answered as best he .con! d. . . sidering that the barber still kep: hi. i ; hauled down taut. After examining the dental work ;i the tooth, which he unhesitatingly vr.L nounced a " erood job," the b ir!". r' goof Jones's lip, and went out t. tl,r , a stone at a dog that was b u -kimr at a cat in the back yard. When he came back, Jones si;.' would like to be shaved as quickly possible, as he was in somewhat ; i hurry. "Certainly, certainly," said th, -i :ir. ber,and he spread the lather over .In:,,-, face, and began to hunt for a ra.r. Af ter examining several, he began t d;ij. the strap with one, while ho ' rvniarkci; that fall had probably set in in ( am, -i, and that the base ball fever v:h ihimt a bad as ever, etc. Giving tin1 razor out- Eull down over the side of Jones'sfiuv. e wiped off the blade, laid it down, took up another, examined itsedire. and whipped the strap with it a before, ask ing Jones if he thought business W:lv really picking up any, and if he thonL'h. it would rain. Jones moved uneasily on the slocks, and said he was sure there would be a storm, and he wanted to get shaved and have his mustache waxed bet' -ore ti t flood came. The barber grew pale around mouth, and his lip quivered. You said that once before," he remarked curtly. "Don'tsay it again, please.'nr there'll be trouble. I'm a irentleman. when dealing with a gentleman, but I know when I'm insulted, sir.", " Well, confound it all," said .lones, very much out of patier.ee, here to get shaved, and not to came talked to death." " O, you want to be shaved, do you," exclaimed the barber in a rage, "".you don't want to be talked to death, don't you! A barber can't open his mouth, can't he? O no, a barber is a doomed machine, I suppose, and most move about his work like a wooden Injun in front of a cigar store. All right, all right! you shall be shaved and have your mustache waxed so blamed fat it'll make your head swim !" And", buckling down to his work, he shaved Jones in two minutes and a halt by the watch, and cut him seventeen times by actual count. Moral Let a barber talk. It i cheaper than to be kept away from busi ness ior two or tnree days while stop bleeding. VOIl Pearls. It is easier to believe an ill report than to inquire into the truth thereof. An army understands better the ide;t of glory than that of liberty. The wisest of men is he who has the most complaisance for others. How we loiter away our lives! If we wasted all our means as we do our. time, we should be bankrupts all. If you wish to be happy, have a small house and a large balance at your banker's; if you wish to be unhappy, adopt the opposite plan. Sloth makes all things difficult, but in dustry all easy ; and he that riseth late must trot all day, and shall scarce over take his business at night, while Iazines travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him. The first impression of the fair sex which the traveler receives in a Japanese crowd is in the highest degree unfavor able; the ghastly appearance of the faces and bosoms, thickly coated with powder, the absence of eyebrow.s, and the blackened teeth, produce a mot painful and disagreeable effect. Were it not for this abominablo custom, Japanese women would probably rank high among Eastern beauties, certainly far before Chinese. All Japanese write r whom I have read upon the subject, affirm that to have no eyebrows and black teeth is considered a beauty in Japan, and that the object of the pro cess is to add to the charms of the fair one. The harvest is past and the summei is ended, but amid the disappointment which the farmer feels at the short crop;1 comes the consoling reflection that the festive bumble-bee will no more eek shelter in the leg of his capacious trowsers. Breakfast Table. Between 1368 and 1628 there were forty periods of famine in the province? of China which are now suffering with a similar calamity. In ten of these the. record reports that human flesh wa; eaten. Perhaps this account for the Manchoo dynasty. Hartford Courant. There is a growing demand in thi country for amoral agent in the shape of a patented spanker that will relieve mothers from so much unnecessary toil in bringing up Young America in the way it should go. Gold closed at 100 1 says a financial what we want is the 1C0.
The Anson Times (Wadesboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Nov. 13, 1878, edition 1
2
Click "Submit" to request a review of this page. NCDHC staff will check .
0 / 75