i ill tllVVi lll,IJ.l LEADS . STATE WEEKLY PAPERS IN POINT OF CTECULATION. THE OLDEST EEPUELICAN PAPE3 IN THE STATE. If 1 I 7W1 fi ll rwi I ,1 ' - 1 - ' . ' f VOL. XL. PURSE STRINGS TIGHT. UNCLE JOE'S ECONOMY LOST HIM $5.00. SOLD HIS NEW OVERCOAT. Ilia Daughter Bought One Tor Ilim Which Ho Sold for Less Than, Actual Cost. . Tiide Joe" Cannon lias lost his overcoat. Ho is far-sighted, .economi cally, hh well as politically, and it will hot be necessary for the wily Illinois Congressman to buy another one Boon if there is-any way to help it. Home time last taring, when the leaves on the trees around Washington begun' to take on their spring verdure and it was moro comfortable to carry an overcoat on the arm than to wear it, Uncle Joo lost his. He iloes not know where he left it hut that phase of the matter is of no importance. Last winter Uncle Joe had to have a new one, and Miss Helen Can non told her father that he had better sTep into a nearby store and buy one. Uncle Joe is very close. He thought his daughter, however, who is inclined that way somewhat herself, could drive a better bargain.. He-told her not to pay; more man twentymo dollars for the carmen t. She .paid' thirty-five. The coat was sent home, Uncle Joe tried it on and found it cost, according 'to his daughter, the stipulated amount $2.1. As a matter of fact, it had cost $3". Next day Uncle Joe met a' friend on the street who asked him about his new coat. Being told that it cost $'23, Uncle Joe was offered $30 for it. He prompt ly sxeepted the offer and lost $5 on the transaction. Washington Dispatch.- , o Praying for Bain. The recent drought has led to a lot of talk about the matter of praying, rather pooh-poohing the . iilea that prayer could do any good. Just wish ing for rain is the same as praying for it, the Spartanburg Journal tells us. We, however, incline to agree with Ir. I. W. Faison, who had the nerve to say in a lroard. of health meeting in harlotte during the water famine that he ; believed- prayer would make God want to let it rainja whole lot sooner. " "Prayer changes things." If it doesn't it may as well be cut out of human life. Hezckiah on his death bed prayed for life and got 15 years extra; Hannah prayed for a boy, and pot a whole family. Uzziah prayed for deliverance from Babylonian cap tivity and got his tljrone back. The Ninevites prayed for pardon and were saved from the doom of Sodom. .Elijah .prayed for rain and got a freshet. The shortage of rain is no doubt connected with the shortage of prayer. We had a big crop and fruit year, last year and we thought WE did it with OCR scientific farming, OUR deep plowing, OUR legume crops and OUR etc WE are the people. Our agri cultural progress is all right, but we have got to have the early and the later rains and the only arm that can open the windows of heaven from the earth side is the arm of prayer. iiicK ory. Democrat. After all we are poor helpless crea tures dependent upon Cod 's mercies. We praise man's efforts but too often for get God and it is dangerous for an in dividual or a nation to lose sight of this fact. The Bible is filled with pen alties and history is replete with inci dents, that stand out as- warnings. Local Editor. , . o- - - Not Good Roads Alone. Students of social and industrial problems have been viewing with alarm the fact that the sons of men employed in agricultural pursuits do riot follow in the footsteps of their fathers. The bad roads" of the country are in part responsible for this. " Why do these boys leave the farm!" is the question tney ask. jirignt povs may -ucicr live in the city rather than on the farm for the reason that with the miserable roads found in many communities, . to be removed a few 'miles from town is i iJ.itinii from the . . . . ...... . . . c aiuiunb ruiujMriv' .--v ka - - centres of thought and activity. Fay etteville Index. Good roads would no doubt prove a drawing featuro to kee the boy on tlio farm but this is not all. Our school do not educate bovs thnt way With very few exceptions the training is to live by their wits instead of their hands and hence the ranks of the "boiled shirt" fellows are full and the farms to a great extent overlooked When the bovs are taught that farming is as honorable as any other employ ment, that brains are as necessary to r.ti.f,, to :., ami that monf v ean be . ' t, J Ik V- - - W made tilling the soil together with good roads the boys will be content to remain or return to the farms. Local Editor. o Two Extremes. ..." "A fashionable woman's clothes cov- er too large a proportion of her nus band's income." says Laura Jean Lib 11 a proportion o her own corporosity. Houston Post. ; o - ..; - WeU Put. -rii Smith wants is the immi . . .. v .1. ......- - t nv.nt M.;il farm not One who Will rua a fruit staud. Atlanta Journal TIT 1. STABLING OUNN, OP CASWELL, FTBED FIRST CANNON. SO READS OLD INSCRIPTION. j Another Proof of North Carolina's Pri macy in Every War Prom the War of the Revolution to the Spanish American War. Mr. J. H. Kerr, of Warrenton,' solici tor of the Second Judicjal District, has been in- Raleigh this week attend ing the Supreme Court. lton -the oc casion of a visit to his native county, Caswell, a short time ago, Mr. Kerr went out to the home of LaFayette Murray who lives three: miles from Yanceyville and who married a cousin of President Pot eat, of Wake Forest College. On Mr. Murrav!' l.lnntaf inn there is an old cemetery,! which has been preserved in cood condition since the War of the Revolution, and Mr. .Murray took Mr. Kerr out to see this grave-yard to show him a monument over the grave of a man whose remajk ablo deed seems to have bden overlook ed in North Carolina, Thi inscription on the monument is as follows: "Here Ilea the remains of Starling Guam j (then the place and time! of his birth and death.) Who fired the first cannon at Yorktown when Cornwallis surrendered to Gen eral Washington." j Mr. Kerr said that the iGunns were an old modest family who long lived in Caswell county. In the Earlier i days they were among the largest land own ers in the county, and were connected with the Yanceys, Kerrs and other in fluential families and have decendants still living in, the county, In those days Mr. Kerr said people were more modest than they are now, -and this in scription would not have been put upon the monument unless it had been true, and it shows that CasWell county,! imong its other great contributions to North Carolina, produced a! soldier who deserved to rank with Wyatt at Bethel, Bagley at Cardenas and the invincible North Carolinians who gave the State glory at Bethel, Gettysburg, Chicka mauga and Appomattox, in addition now to the claim that North Carolina j makes of being "first at jBethel, f ur-j thest to the front at Gettysburg and j last at Appamattex," we an also add "First at Yorktown," which gives! North. Carolina primacy in every great war in whic h this 'country as been en- gaged fromthe War of the Revolution! to the Srftmish-American Wir, Raleigh News & Observer. Got Religion and Came Back. The authorities at the penitentikry experienced something out of the 'or dinary. Friday morning when Richard Tinsley, colored, air escaped convict, walked up to the prison gate and asked admittance, stating that he. desired to finish serving his sentence.! I Tinsley was sent to the State's pris on irom v ance county onuctoner:, iwta to serve a sentence of one year for lar ceny ana receiving, ana i insiey escap ed from the State farm on! the first of December of the same year.' Since his escape his Hie nas ieen a; vanea one, ut finally ho joined . the church, and inee that tune he determined to come ck and serve out his sentence. Ral eigh Caucasian. The above is one type of true rclig- on. A religion wnnoui restitution is ased on shifting sands. 4-Local Edi tor. - . o . True. The city fathers of Chicago want the Bov Scouts to ngnt me weeus in the Wriiridy city. He will have to guess again. If he desires the scouts to fight swimming hole, a nsn piream or a basket picnic, we believe I there would be something doing, but weeds are oe- neath the scouts notice. Houston Post. A boy or girl will literally exert themselves into a lather oi perspiration in some diversion but will dodge work as if it was a poisonous reptile. Just her a good dose of the, switch ' would bring the young folks to a living sense of their duty. Local Editor.. o i Wedding Color Scheme. j j "Wasn't that elopement story tiiirhlv colorpil one" ' "I ShOUld say ll was. ie was purple with rage, thej girl red with her chum green with en- "i i v . .' ... t i. vv, the minister wnue wnu fellow showed a distinct yellow streas while the whole wedding party were --- intnnniDi?! Baltimore I'lUV - - 1 American. i o ' Once In Fifteen Tears. Thirtv-five vears think of it; thirty- five years ago, when Li & M. Paint Arm marlA known. nn .i.o. -- . . . !i. j... It then needed time to prove its uur nnnlitv. " -t --j . .... It has done ii now, uu hb 1379, New York. FIRS TfORKTO is the proof. ,! , Costs about $1.60 rf jr"on, because you make nearly one half more, by ad ding of a gallon of Linseed Oil to each gallon of paint, and you won't need to repaint for aooui jo years. Hole Agents Owens Drug Co. nt postal for "Money Snver I'Tlgt No rtfi " lAilxman & Martihez, P. O. Box WINSTON-SALEM, HIS OWyiEDICIIIE. BUT DOES NOT EELISH TIIE DOSE. UNTIL' DEATH 00 US PART. r t - . There is No Other Marital Tie Any Other Form Euins The Happy Home and Shatters the Foundations of a Nation.- Upton Sinclair is one of the bright particular star of Socialism. He is ;iuthor of some books which have been widely read. Ills exposure of the con ditions at the Chicago stock-yards of tne teef .trust, i created a national sen sation. But Mr. Kini-lair wras not content with his laurels, as a literary genius. lie was eager to demonstrate the work ability of his theories. Therefore, he collected a" group of rare souls, of con genial temperaments, and planted a col ony in Delaware, at a place called "Ar- lcn." In this colony the ehoice "spirits of the inner circle of Socialism" would ive the. ideal life. They would prove to scoffing mankind that the Eden of old could be re-established; and that Dove and Communism were the creators of this new Paradise. i '.- Sinclair's wife is youna and beauti ful; hr face indicates that she is volup tuous. At the jtime she agreed to mar ry Upton, her Views of matrimony were the same as his. They both believed that a license jand a formal eeremony were absurd. They both believed that mutual Love and reciprocal affection desire to mate, justified the mating, without any de lay, license or ceremony. But to keep the girl '8 respectable parents from go ng "crazy" - the. ardent lovers con sented to be married in the usual way. That, was in PJ00. One child, a boy. the. fruit of this union. Into this Eden, comes the serpent in the shape of illarry Kemp. Like the oung jjoclunvar, he comes put of the West.. He is said to 1c a poet whose works" have not been published. Harry lvcmp was the guest of Upton Sinclair at the hitter's summer home. While eating Sinclair 's salt, sleeping in Sinclair's beds and enjoying the biind confidence of j his host, Kemp fell in love with Sinclair's wife. These two passionate souls discovered that they were "affinities." Poor Sinclair was put of it. He had once been the soul-mate of the lady; but she had now found that he no longer satis fied the longings of her heart. Harry, Harry Kemp! He is the right man; and, that beihg so, she has a perfect right to discard Sinclair and mate with Kemp. ThatV Socialism. So the young wife goes away with her econd ?'husljand" elaving the first to hold the boyj and to be both parents to their ehildi - .Now, this voung woman has done pre cisely as George Herron did. That minent Socialist deserted the poor wo man who was his wedded ; wife; and took up with a rich woman, Carrie Jand with Whom he is still living in adultery in Italy. But Sinclair is howling about the manner in which he has lieen treated by his friend and his wife. He will ... x-.. i : . . Tr .. . 1 . i batter Kempi when they meet. Then in good time Kemp will howl, and .want to beat somebody for the ire of him as she did of woman will jl Sinclair, and. will puss- on to another man. What the Socialists fail to recognize s this: Two people j who mutually desire to come together, may not In agreed as to parting. In 4 hat case, there is a sore ly wounded heart, when the mate finds a second affihity, deserting the first. The Herroh tragedy showed the wo man could he made to sutler, when the husband leaVes her for a younger soul- mate, r The Sinclair scandal shows how the man can hei put to shame anil m.-ide wretched, when the wife leaves him tfor younger, lustier swain. J The old wiiy is best. "Until death lo us part!i" Let the husbnndl and wife vow the ancient vowsi. Then (the husband never looks at every prf ttv ble face and voluptuous figure as a jossi 'afhnitv: " and the wife never expects that every handsome, robust chap that she meets, may suit her better.than her Where the; wedded pair start on a husband does. long journeyj with no thought of sepa ration, they seldom separate... Bui where a man and woman take each oth er, informally, believing that they have the right to chose another mate, at any time, it is, human nature for the man to have an eye out for more fascinat ing women; and for the woman to look upon everv magnetic man as a possible preference to her nrst mate. lorn Wat son s Jetiersonian. 1 o , Fatal Feasts on Toadstools. Poisonous! mushrooms today -caused another death, making a total of ten victims since the "first of the month. The recent heavy rains brought out an im mense ctoplof -mushrooms, both edible and poisonous. New York dispatch, Sept. 7. ! We print this as a warning. There are two kinds of. mushrooms. Une is poisonous and the other is not and is considered iquite a delicacy. We were told by a friend the other day that lie was feasting high on toadstools. Al luding to the danger he said '.Lkww the rlffht kind." Be sure j'on can do this or your, life may 'pay the for Jfeit." Local Editor. N. C.f THURSDAY; SEPTEMBER 14, 1911. "TEMPORARY SANITY." MOST APTLY DESCRIBED BY DOE, oTirr jraxciiELL. JUST NATURAL VICIOUSNESS. Should ; Bo Curbed By Parents In thd Training of Children Many Fathers end Mothers See Their Neglect Too Late. , '. -, l do not ncutiL inc iact that sum a malady (temporary insanity) exists liot.h among rich and poor alike but 1 believe the name is wrong; for I think it should be called what jt really is "Temporary Satniiity" and instead of being an cxcusablo disease it should be put down among " the cardinal crimes and receive the punishment which it justly deserves. -r It is a more serious thing to disobey the law than we sometimes think. That spirit acquired and cultivated in man to know no law; to yield to no man's will except ones' own desires, regard less of anyone else 's comfort, is a bad policy. There are -laws made to pro tect every human being in this coun try laws made by the best men of our country commanding what is right and prohibiting what is wrong, and it is bd enough to disobey one of these; but to wilfully disobey a law of nature and take the right of Divinity in our hands by destroying a human life something that none but Divinity can give ana none but Divinity should tak; -a being who has been given the privileges of this earthly existence by the same pow er who gave us ours, and thereby has as much right to eujoy it as wo do, it is a crime indeed. I have seen victims-of this "Tempo rary insanity"; watched it in its bud ding years in littlo children. It comes in a rather mild form at first but grows with the victim. It affects them dif ferently, but usually there is a similar ity that ean be easily detected. There used to be a family who Jived next door -to nic whose children were very much affected with it. One morn ing I heard such a noise and screaming that I looked out and saw a little sprite of a boy jumping up and down' on the back porch and giving vent to yells that ought to come from a boy twice his size, and all of it was because his mother would not let him eat breakfast without washing his ! face. After a while I heard her tell him to ec.me on , then, and he imiufdiately hushed. It was my lot to live Dy tnem several years, until the boy was beginning to be called a "big boy' and the family had to move away in order to escape disgrace and get this i same boy in a different, atmosphere. 1 have seen lots of people who believe! that evil comes from without, but instead it is imbedd ed in the heart, and if allowed to grow it will become so large at times that it will crowd out all the good and make a demon or man. i It may be considered a rather sacri- ligious thing to say in the presence of those persons who always refer to mothers as "angel mothers", but I firmly believo that a good per cent of the crimes of this country, if properly placed would be laid at the mother's door. Of course, I know that there are exceptions, and that no matter how good a woman may be, she is not jer- tect. She may think she is doing her child a kindness when she is doing the thing that is entirely wrong. How ean one expect a person to always bey the laws of man or lod when he h;fs never known any in the home? Sooner or later the old habits will come ouj, and the "my will 'and "my way" will be made manifest. The considering of one's own convenience, pleasure and self before all others, and that exces sive temper which has never known any conquering, grows from , childhood. Then who is responsible? One of the saddest wails I ever beard from a human heart was that of. a broken-hearted mother whose child had tone wrong-. She called me to her side for help and sympathy, and I shall nev er forget the depth of her cry When she said it was all her fault; for she had alwavs let the child have its way. There is amonn my acquaintances a girl philosopher who will not allow her self to get real mad, for she says that every time she does she digs a bigger trench for more Satau to enter the next time. . - Some way I feel more like trusting a man who can control his temper anu not have a runaway so to speak, every now and then.' No man can safely command until he has learned to obey.. o ; Some Things We Never See, ' Odorless automobiles. One-legged prize fighters. Cross-eyed chorus girls. 7 Sensible hats for women. A neighborhood without night- blooming phonograph. . :i j, Two Fools. There has been a good deal of com ment about the fool that rocks the boat What about the one that tries to run an automobile?: Cleveland Leader. Common Colds Most Be Taken Seriously For unless cured they sap the vitality and lower the vital resistance to more serious infection. Protect your chil dren and yourself by the prompt use of Foley Honey and Tar Compound and not its quick and decisive results. For coughs, colds whooping cough, bron chitis and affections of the throat, chest and lungs it is an ever ready and val uable remedy. Helm's Drugstore. PARTICULARLY POI TED Paragraphs Political and Otherwise Spicily Dished Up. If all the convicts Governor Kitchin has pardoued support him for Senator tie .will .be bard to beat. Even Simmons" with his band of red shirters will find it hard to combat with Kitchin's ex-con vie t forces. Cotton is selling cheaper than at this senson last year, and still the cotton jnills are closing down. Wonder whyt ihe l'emoccrats have taken the tar iff off political lemons and are now handing them to each other free of charge. As the Democrats have raised the tax valuation of proiwrty about $75,- 000,000 in this State, they should now lower the tax rate but will they do it? . The State has been running in debt about $250,000 a year for the past few years. At that rate, how long will it take . the Democrats to bank rupt the State? !, v. If the Democratic party is against protection, ' why did Senator Simmons refuse to vote on the cotton sched ule, and, in fact, why did all Of them fall off the platform! . After .Glenn has finished his engage ments in Maine he might return home and sec if he can persuade the Demo cratic officials to enforce the prohibi tion law in North Carolina. The Statesville Landmark says that the anti-trust law in this State is either ineffective or no effort has been made to enforce it. The poor old toothless thing is down with both complaints. Raleigh Caucasian. Cotton continues to drop, we don't know how low it will go but we do hope the country will be ablo to escape the soup houses this fall. If the Democratic party ever did anyone any good except the Democrat ic office holders who draw the salaries we have never ncara or. it. Those Democrats ' who think it re igious to steal votes in order to keep the Democratic party in power, will perhaps get real happy when they , go to pay their taxes this fall. - Every time we hear anyone say any thing about a Democratic President being elected in 1912 we begin to think of Orover Cleveland, 4 1-2 and 5, cent cotton, public, soup houses, and rCoxie. Armies. ''. - The Democratic party is worse than war, in a battle a ienow is liable to get killed instantly and not suffer much, but in a Democratic panic he is liable to perish to death. Yes, the Democratic party is worse than war and you know what Sherman said war was. Since we come to think about it about forty years from now when these bonds are 'due the Democratic papers and Toliticians (if the devil is permit ted to run at large that long) win per haps claim that all these bonds the Democrats have been selling tor tne last ten years were Fusion bonds. Now just watch 'em and see if they don't. Governor Glenn told us during the prohibition campaign that with State prohibition crime would almost cease, the courts would dry up for lack . of business, and lawyers would havo to go to ploughing and taxes would be re duced. But now we find crime is on the increase, and we are told that more courts are necessary in order to ciear the "blind tigers" of the charges made against them. Lawyers are getting rich and taxes are doubled. Wo hope that Bobby will not prophecy again. Clinton News-Dispatch. - o : What Docs He Know About Them? At a meeting of the Central Valley Christian Conference, held at lcans- ville. Va.. last week. Rev. J. U r oster of; North Carolina, denounced hobble and harem skirts, big hats, and what he described as "almost . invisible hose." It is all right for the big hats and the little.skirts to be in the preach er's line of vision, but the "almost in visible hose "what does he mean by the kick against that? If the women want to wear their hose almost invisible or entirely invisibly we don't see how anybody can raise any objection to that way of wearing 'em. Monroe En quirer. Admitting that Rev. Foster is able to judge by observation about hobble and harem skirts and big hats we would like to know what he or any other man knows about invisible hose, Maybe he got confused with the'" drop stitch" article. They will catch the eye every , time. Local Editor. How it Happened. The boy stood on the burning deck; He wouldn't run away, He got a twenty dollar check, With every Saturday.. You say that riddles yon abhor! I'll tell vou all I know, The boy, of course, was posing for A movinir picture show. Washington Herald. - o -; ' A Dreadful Sight- to II. J. Barnum of Freeville, N. Y- was the fever sore that had plagued his life for years in spite of many remedies he tried. At last be used rJuexnn s Arnica Salve and wrote: "it has entirely heal ed with scarcely ft sear left.'' Heals Burns. Boils,. Eczema, Cuts, Bruises, Swellings, Corns and Piles like magic. Only 23c at P. A. Thompson. DOLLY MADI8DIJ GHATS. , .... . .. .. DISCUSSES WHAT IS "CALP LOVE." TEEMED APT TO MAKE MISTAKES. - - .- ' .- - -ii But When Controlled it is a Beautiful Thing But Consumation Must Not be .Too Soon, . ' We are apt to laugh at the boy ;who is in love. We speak of "calf Jove' with a shruir and a smile. II Yet the bo who is in love is yjjuth awakened. Before this women have meant nothing to him. He has loved his mother as "a matter of coursei his sisters he, has accepted as neceseary evils, but now when he beholds the one woman of all femininity seems canon- ized because of her. Ridicule at .this time comes to a boy as a heart-breaking thing. He loves and his loVe is sacred. He lives in a world of dreams. Yet he is apt to make mistakes. U He is apt to make promises that he cannot afterward make good. He exacts, aa allegiance that in. later years may bore him. He is in a transition stateV he does not know his real needs, andi be cause of that lack of knowledge he should be carefuL 3 I No boy has a right to ask for a girl 's exclusive friendship. When! he does he places himself in a position from which it may be hard to retreat Not understanding girl nature, be does not realize that while his love inav wane, her 's may increase, and that, when he has reached mature years, he may find himself wishing to seek anoth er goddess to worship, but held because of the adoration which he has inspired in the heart of his first love. tj I Of course, the average boy will,' not believe when wiser people tell him. that his first love is not for Eternity, but he must remembe that the Jit tie girl he liked when he was ten is no longer his ideal, and so when he is thirty the wo man he admired when he was twenty may not be one with whom his Llifc could be spent happily. 1 ' There is nothing sweeter than ihoy and girl friendship, but love is a Very sacred thing, and he who trifles with it may meet disaster. -?j ! It is the boy lover who does rashand tempestuous things. It is the ardent Romeos who end their lives tragically. They will not listen to advice, and they rush oa to meet their fate. . i H A young minister has told me of the marriage which almost ruined his; ca reer. In his college days he metjjthe daughter of one of the professors, fi He at once adored her. She was worship ped by half the boys in the school, but be made up bis mind to win ber. She wn finnilpil anil npttpd- hut hA had: al ways had his own way, but moonlight' nights, clandestine trips, an tne glam our of youth and love combined ! to make him mad with the romance of it. He insisted upon a runaway, marriage. He had nO income except that provided by his father, but day after day he told tho girl of the little parsonage which should be their honey-moon bower He would preach sermons which would-Jfire the world, and she should be his inspi ration! j I After marriage, the father, highly incensed at the boy's foolhardijjes, stopped his income. There was no ro mance about the country parsonage. Life had not disciplined the youngjhus band, and he was not fit to be the ead of a household. The girl, wiser flcr haps, than he, began to show steadfast womanliness, and she saved him, but it was her love, not his, that broughtfhnp piness'at last. His had been the (boy ish passion uncontrolled and demand ing. Her's was a steady flame which finally lighted in him the fires of j real affection. ;f ,Boy love controlled is a beautiful thing, and the boy who thinks h has met the lady of his heart may worship her at a distance if he will, but when he demands too soon the consummation of their love, he makes a mistake Which may end in disaster instead of in the re alization of all his dreams. DOLLY MADISON in Philadelphia Pres ; o : , "No Tax" Substitute for "Ni- Beer." 4 ! . . $ i "No Tax" a new beverace said to have been concocted to sopercede-inear bear, cannot be sold m North Carolina according to State Food Chemist W. M Allen, who made an analysis off sam les broujjht here from Favetteville by Mayor James D. Me-Neill, of layette ville. The new drink contains atj least one and one-half per cent alcohol, ac cording to Mr. Allen, and is therefore outlawed m this State. . ij That is right... Put the prohibition lid on tight. The feople voted for it and let it be enforced. If the thirsty want beverages, ! soft drinks that are worse than slop,' and" dope" cbncoc tions they have free scope to the ruin of the digestive organ and jhealth among the young people espeeialyr Local Editor. . : ':, o ! ;j Big Lee Melons The Sanford Express says that Ex Senator J. R. Rives has raised two met ons one 71 and the other 74 pounds, That's some melons! i Foley! Kidney Bemedr (Liquid) Is a great medicine of proven value for both acute nnd chronic kidney and blad der ailments'. It is especially irecom mended to elderly people for its won derful tonic and reconstructive! quail ties, and the -terraanent relief and com fort it gives them. Helm's Drug Store !".; i .' : ' - 5 i" NO. 36. T Oil THE FLY. BUDGET OF TIMELY AND TEBSS TOPICS. CRISP. POIIITEDjllTERESTIIIG. What Our Shears And Past Pot Cap tared of a Humorous Vein From Our - Exchanges. . " A Natural Question. "How long have you been married!" "This time or altogether!" Detroit Free Press. 0 Could Help Her. Fussy. Lady Patient I was suffering so much'doctor, that I wanted to die. Doctor You did right to call me in. dear lady. London Opinion. - His Plan. To dodge his creditors required V Such vigilence and vim, A motor car he went and hired, And now they're dodging himl( - n f She Stopped Him. "Jinks would have spent his fortune on himself in a year if it hadn't been for his wife." "How did she stop him ! " "Spent it on herself." Exchange. . Humorist in Straits. -Beggar Please help me to recover my child. Lady Is your child lost! Beggar No, mum. but his clothes are worn out. Boston Transcript. o Proof. Kicker Have you a cook engaged at present! Snicker I think so; there's a man out in the kitchin every night. Har Ier 's Bazar. - ' . New Use for Holes. "What animal is satisfied with the least -nourishment!" asked a natural history teacher. "The moth." replied a student con- hucntly. "It eats nothing but holes!" , Bar Thing. "You must testify only to what you know; no hearsay avidence." "Yes sir." "What is' your age! ' . "I've only hearsay evidence on that point." - . ; . ' rt Her Lino. Wife The woman who has just mov ed next door has been married three times, and all of her husbands were named William. Husband You don 't mean it! Quito a Bill collector, isn't she! Exchange. Great Expectations.' ' Where are you going with that goat little boy!" Down, to the lake. Come along lz you wanter see some run. inn nere goat has lest et a crate oi sponges an' -m goin' down an' let him drink." Toledo Blade. o Too Much Company. Have you ever loved before!" ask-. ed the coy maid. "Yes," yawned the worthy young man. Jtut-er-never Pel ore a cnaper one, twosmall brothers and a pet bull dog." And then she suggested a trip down the old road to see the stars.-r-Ex- change. o A Puzzle. - Small Girl (entertaining her mother's caller) "How is your little girl!?' Caller "I am sorry to say, my dear. that I haven't any little girl.",, Small girl (after a painful pause in conversation) "How is. your little bov!" Caller 4 My dear, 1 haven't any lit tle boy, either." Small Girl "What are yours T" Woman's Home Companion. o The Cautious Tongue. Singing Teacher "Now, children, give us Little Drops of Water' and ut some spirit in it. " . Principal (whispering) "Careful, sir. This is a temperance school. Say put some ginger in it. ' " . - Come Things We Are Guilty Of. "I upptse there's none of us better than we should be." "Indeed, no; I woi thinking it over last night. Why, only yesterday I was guilty of killing time, murdering a tune,. smothering a yawn, stealing a kiss, cut ting a creditor and breaking into a perspiration." o - i ' False Alarm. Harper's Magazine resurrects this one: : Dr. Brown, a dignified and somewhat portly gentleman had been commission ed to buy a shirtwaist at a bargain sale whih his wife was unable to attend. The task was a novel and not wholly congenial one, but he finally got the at tention of a saleswoman and made his wishes known. "What bust!" she asked. The doctor glanced around with ner vous apprehension. "Why er I didn't hear anything.' . o Every family has need of a good, re liable liniment. For sprains, bruises, soreness of the muscles and rheumatic pains there is none better than Cham berlain's. Bold by All Dealers. ' CAUGU