Newspapers / The Greensboro Patriot (Greensboro, … / March 22, 1899, edition 1 / Page 8
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POLITICAL AND OTHERWISE. Twa Chapters from Jesse F. Hos- ' kins' New Boole. "Politicians and Ordinary Tools." While confined to his home b y a recent attack of locomotor ataxia the Duke" of Summerfield availed himself of the opportunity of writ ing two mpre chapters of his book, "Politicians and Ordinary Fools.; The Duke is a close observer of events, especially Apolitical na ture, and by reason of his many years among politicians is able to depict them in their true light. He starts out: "The Duke and Sotho Wilson some time ago were in Raleigh walking together from the depot to the capitol. Seeing the Mountain Stomached Chief of the Savages and Benedict Arnold, the Grand High Sachem of the defunct Pop ulist party, sliding into a room be hind a green blind, the Duke stop ped suddenly and leaned up against a lamp post, being afflicted with the spanque of the spinal cord. Lifting his spy glass to his vision ary optics he remarked, Hold Sotho, a minuteLand I will tell you exactly what they are doing, for I can, with this spy glass, send my visionary optics through that door. "It is the same spy glass I used on the battlefield of Santiago. I see them standing in ' front of a counter, a bull-necfced, white aproned fellow pouring out calam ity water in a pair oL glasses; their j elbows are bending, their mouths are wide open and they are Z now buying the merry madness of an hour, with the long irksomeness of following time, 'Who hath woe, - who hath misery, who hath redness of eyes? they who tarry long at the wine cup.' And the Duke, after remaining for a few -moments in his usual deep, sad, silence, stag gered forward andelled through the window - at the big-necked, white-aproned fellow to know if he had been selling fire-water to bis charioteer and servants, and if he had heard that the legislature had reinstated Sotho Wilson as railroad commissioner. ; "The Grand High Sachem of the Populists, who if he had lived 1800 years ago would have been a rival to Judas Iscariot, began to gesticu late and the big fellow to roar like a lion seeking whom he might de vour, the whole earth trembled and dark clouds of black savages hov ered around their chief and he be gan to chew and spit out obnox ious white .radical politicians by the dozen, replacing them with Democrats, the whole schidedid- dledee of whom are classed in this , volume as 'politicians and ordinary loots.'" I "As the first rays of the morn ing sun peeped over his broad acres on ground-hog day, the Duke of Summerfield glided forth from his castle door and observing great ac tivitv among the leaders of the Democratic party-in various parts of his vineyard, he enquired of his Citizen John Gamble, who was passing by, what all this might mean." Gamble, bowing low, re plied : ' iMay it please Your Grace, the dispensary at Greensboro, and what do you think of it?' "'Wait, my Citizen,' replied the Duke, 'and allow me to focus my visionary optics on the personnel of the leadership of the rival fac tions and I will tell you.' "Marry! On my troth ! Be hold I Gentiles, Jews, Priests for ever after the order of Melchiser dec, and 'Kings' even -n ay, . I might say John and Bob all ea ger for the fray. - The accustomed smoke curls not from Proximity Mills and my servants have ceased expending their energies in build ing the Southern Stock Mutual Palace. Behold, also, my 'Fisher' of men reaching his jointed fishing-rod even from Washington City and endeavoring to get a bite in his shirt sleeves and the thermom eter down to zero. Behold, too, the priests and leaders of my peo ple who have long desired prohibi tion and are now seeking to go into the whiskey business! Ah! -My subject, when I see the heart burnings and rival factions now dividinglbe great Democratic par ty on local issues, my gizzard is pained and my head is in the dust. How often would I have gathered strictly white Republicans as a hen gathereth her chickens under her Wings, but they "would not, and why? Because the great issue of white supremacy under which they wished to gather has now dwindled down into the issues of dispensary, curfew and the cutting of names out of solid rock. As I gaze in the other direction, I see even For syth forgetting ail but her extra commissioners and allowing my apostate Josephus Daniels to run the ranch. Hasten, thou Citizen Gamble, to my people and say to them that unless all these things , are changed I shall see in the dim vista of the future the political dead bodies of rival leaders throughout the state quietly turn ing ud their toes by the side of these who opposed them, and the ! last state of the party shall do wnmA than the first. Mv white Republican subjects join with you for white supremacy and to Keep the black flat heel of the nigger from off your necks. To your tents. O Israel, lest McKinley pur sue us with a whip of scorpions and add. us to the colony 01 Cu bans and the Philippines. Hetnai ha tii Tears to hear let him hear, for I am the Duke and there is none other.' "Gamble then saluted, bowed low and deDarted and th Duke, in sadness, saw the ground-bog come from his hole and again disappear therein. -He raised his cane aloft and said: 'Bv my beard I will still cleave to the white man's party and will not forget the Farmers Mutual nor the Carolina Benevo lent, dispensary or no dispensary, curfew or no curfew.' Trusts and the Tariff. A correspondent expresses the mistaken belief that the repeal of the high tariff, under which our trusts flourish, would be followed by the organization of international trusts. It would be a matter oi a fewdays, he thinks, to organize an Anglo-American paper trust, for example, and so put up prices in both England and America. But this is impossible, in view of the readiness of the paper makers of the Continent to supply England and America with paper; at the prices now prevailing in England. The fact that there are no trusts now in England, in the American sense, is proof that, they cannot exist there, owing to the freedom of foreign competition. They do exist, it is said, in Germany and other "protected" markets of the Continent. If, as is suggested, the English could form trusts with Americans with or without a re duction of our tariff, why do they not form trusts with the Germans? The non-existence of such combi nations to advance prices seems to prove that free trade, is fatal to them in England. It is conceivable that all the manufacturers in a given line of goods in all the countries of the world should organize a trust. Should they do so, the effect would be, of course, to close all the fac tories of the countries except where this line of goods can be made at the lowest wage cost. As wages are lower in England than here, the American factories in the im agined world-wide combine would be closed. But wages are lower in Germany that in England, and lower in France than in Germany. If the French factories were found to produce at least cost, the trust would operate only in the French factories, and the entire industry would be transferred to that coun try. But all such monster world wide schemes are impracticable, so that free trade is, in fact, a remedy and the! only sure remedy for trust prices. There are temporary com binations of employes in England to fight the combinations of the trade unions, but they are not trusts and they do not undertake to fix prices. There are also there, at elsewhere, consolidations of bus iness houses at times, but they are ineffective for raising prices in the face of the free competition of the continental manufacturers. Balti more Sun. Romance of the War. When the Forty-seventh Reel ment .waa mustered into service and was ordered for garrison duty in Puerto, Rico, says the New York World, Lieutenant Joseph A. Meyer was the only officer of Company A who did not resign. The regiment had been in Puerto Rico only a short time when Lieutenant Meyer accldently shot Private Valentine, of his own company. "Valentine went to the hospital at Humanzao, and was visited daily by Lieutenant Meyers. Miss Ju anita Reyers, daughter of a wealth resident of the town, was also a visitor there. She took flowers and dainties to the sick soldiers. Lieutenant Meyers and Juanita met over Valentine's cot and they loved each other at first sicrht. Lieutenant Meyers proposed and Juanita accepted him. The wedding was the social event of the season in Humancao. It was the first marriage of an Amer ican officer to a Puerto Rican belle. Juanita's father, until the Span iards got out, was treasurer of the corporation, and the Hredding took place in the city hall. It was wit nessed by, American officers and influential Puerto Ricans. Mrs. Meyers did not accompany her husband home. She bade him adieu at San Juan wharf, and went back to her father to await his re turn. Lieutenant Meyers brought back the muster! roll of his regiment. He is 25 years old and lives in East New York. As soon as his regiment is mustered out he will return to Puerto Rico to make his home there. - They Couldn't Have the Doctors : Advice Too Often. The doctor had come too late .i from a hard day's work, driving from place to place, feeling pulses, giving encouragement 'and writing prescriptions. He had eaten bis supper at i I o'clock, made a last call on a man with the grip, and bad turned into bed, dog tired.' It was long after midnight when the telephone bell rang. The doc tor Was sunk in a deep sleep. Again the bell rang out sharply and impatiently and continued to ring,but the doctor did not bear it. At the other end of the hall a pale student pored. over his book. He was studying law. The bell disturbed him, and he at length de cided to answer it and stop the ringing. He 'took down the ceiver and shouted "Hello 1" l "Is that you, doctor?" asked anxious voice. -j "Yes, what do you want?" plied the student, who knew doctor was tired and did not wish to wake him unless the case was serious. . -r-. " "This is" Potts, doctor,1 H. J. Potts. My wife wanted me to call you tip to tell you that the baby wouldn't play with bis blocks to night and seemed kind of heavy and dull. What do you suppose is the matter, doctor? My wife is very 'uneasy." "Hum," said the student, trying ill r.iiinif mirTiMi ii I ti r I r hsb-vt " the baby feverish?" re an re-the Is think "But he he is," re-sneezed No; I don't plied the voice, once tonight." "Ah," said , the bogus doctor, "that's a good sign. If he sneezed and is not feverish he is all right. You might give him a little water if he wakes up and cries; if he gets j too warm! take some of the cover off." I "All right, doctor. Much oblig ed. Sorry to have had to disturb you, but my wife wouldn't so to sleep until I called you up. Good night." ; "Ah," thought the pale student, "that is $2 for the doctor. Wish I could earn it as easily." 1 When he told the doctor about his deception the next day he was manned, ana Air. rotts' Dill was swelled hy $2, one-half of which went to the pale student. I "It's their first baby," explained the doctor, "and they're tickled to death to pay any price for it. couldn't have given Potts any bet ter advice myself." t last. they "Pants. A boy in Wichita schools, Call fornia, was suspended for reading the following essay on "pants:" I Pants are made for men, and not men. for pants. Women are made for men, and not pants. When i man pants for a woman and a wo man pants for ' a man, they are a pair of pants. Such pants don't Pants are like molasses are thinner . in hot weather and thicker in cold. The man in the moon changes his pants during an eclipse. Don't go to the pantry for pants you may be mistaken. Men are often mistaken in pants. Such! mistakes make breaches of promise. There has been much discussion as to whether "pants" were singular or plural. Seems to me when men wear pants they are plural, and when they don't wear any they are singular. Men get on a tear in their pants, and it is all rigot; but when the pants get on a tear, it is all wrong. San Fran cisco Call. ' Paul Perry, of Columbus, Ga., suf fered agony for thirty years, and then cared his Piles by using De Witt's Witch Hazel Salve. It heals injuries and skin diseases like , magic. How ard uardner. Body Found Sitting in a Gave. bAHTiAG.o, Marcn 18. it was re ported here this afternoon that the body of Captain Villalon, who corn- manded the Spanish torpedo boat destroyer Pluton, which was sunk in the destruction of Admiral Cer- vera's squadron, has been diicov ered in a sitting position in an arm chair in a cave about a mile from 1 Morro to the westward rnose woo bring tne news sug gest that his sailors propped him in the chair when wounded and then left him to his fate. For days a careful search was lor uaptain viiiaion's re mains, but nothing was ever found to indicate where or how he died. many made I Chamberlain's Couch Remedy. This remedy is intended especially for ; coughs, colds, croup, whooping cough and influenza. It has become famous for its cores of these diseases, over a large part of the civilized world. The most flattering testimonials have been received, giving accounts of its good worts; of the aggravating and persistent coughs it has cared; of se vere colds that have yielded promptly to' Its soothing effects, and of the dan gerous attacks of croup it has cared, often saving the life of the child. The extensive use of it for whooplsg cough has shown that it robs that disease of all dangerous consequences. Sold by C. E. Helton. Gomez Iiiving Like a King. In the hotels and cafes, along the highways and. among all classes of the people here, the regal state in which Gen. Gomez has been living since he came In from the jungle is the subject of much .unfavorable comment. Gomez is housed at the Quinta de foe Molinos, an has at bis immediate command a retinue of more than 150 men. His daily expenses amount to nearly $200. 1 Mere are more men attending to the wants of the great liberator in peace than he had for most of the time under his Immediate com mand in the old war days, and the cost per day of maintaining this princely household amounts to as much as would safely have tided over for a month a Cuban rebellion in the less prosperous days. ! i i " i bmall wonder that the -natives are talking. Not that Gomez isn't entitled to the best that is in Cuba', but the quick .swap from a sweet potato underneath a palm, a bottle of water, a hammock, and 100 fighting men, to a palace, 150 ser vants, and the life of a Spanish Captain Genera, is as severe shock for the Cubans as some think it must be to the stomach of the rough soldier of fortune from San Domingo. In the meantime, thousands of the Cubans haven't even the sweet potato underneath the palm, the hammock, and the bottle of water: and there is a feeling that in view of this state of affairs Gomez should muster out some of his ser vants, bodyguards, flychasers, pipe holders, kc, and adopt a mode of living more in keeping withthe present condition of affairs. But here another serious problem confronts the Cuban officials. Gomez' isn't exactly in the wayjbut they don't know what to do with him. At present there is no posi tion regarded as sufficiently j Im portant to give him, and in their extremity the Cubans are hoping the American government will offer him a position as Assistant Gover nor. Havana Letter to Philapel phia North American. j New Train Service. 1 4.' I Commencing March 12, The "Washington and Chattanooga limited," trains 33 and 34, with through Pullman sleepers. Mem phis to New York and New Orleans to New York, will be operated via Lynchburg, Southern Railway and Pennsylvania railroad, instead of via Shenandoah Junction and "Royal Blue Line" as formerly. A new service of through Pull man sleepers will be established between Knoxville and New York over "Shenandoah Valley Route." via Bristol, Roanoke, Natural Bride, Luray, Hagerstown, Harris burg and Pennsylvania railroad ol trains Nos. 3 and 4. Apply to ticket agents, Norfolk & Western railway, for schedules in detail. W. B. Be v ill, ll-4t. Gen. Pass. Agent Mr. S. A. Fackler, Editor of the Mlcanopy (Fla.) Hastier, with his wife and children, suffered terribly from La Grippe. One Minute Cough Cure was the only remedy that helped them. It acted quickly. Thousands of others use this remedy as a specific for La Grippe, and its exhausting aftereffects. Howard uardner. Landreth & Sons' reliable Garden Seed fresh at Gardner's, corner oppo site postofflce. Children Reap the Benefit. No act of the legislature was more commendable than the one appropriating $100,000 to educate the poor children of North Caro lina.- It is the policy of the Dem cratic party to send the money the people pay for taxes back to them and let their children reap the ben efit. North Carolina must make progress along educational lines. She does not belong at the foot of all the other states in the matter of illiteracry and she will go for ward ! Cleveland Star. NO CURE-NO PA.Y. That is the war all druggist sell GROVE'S TASTELESS C II ILL TONIC for Chills. FeTer and Malaria, It is simply Iron and Quinine in a tasteless form. Children lore tt. Adults prefer it to bitter nauseating tonics, race. ooc. -'mm Republican managers express disappointment art the failure to elect a senator in Delaware. It is believed the Democrats will cap ture the next legislature. i i BEOonma a hotheb. Sure "Way to Avoid Danger. -Every true woman wants to be a mother. A baby is the dream of her life the crowning glory of womanhood true nappiBee can never De Known without tha hi aaa intra m. child brinm. Yet the ordeal through which; all mothers moat pass is so full of pain, anxiety and fear, that many a young me ii aacrineea Decause ox u mammy In nndarirO) thn mtmtrtrlti of childbirth. It is not necessary to Buffer in bring ing new life into the world. By the use of "Mother's Friend," the suffer ing and danger can be avoided, and too taour roDDea ol ltssareaa ana pain. This remedy is praised by 'thousands xrtiCk tiAVA tMtMl it. "Kvprr woman la anxious to learn how 'tovoid the pom ana suxxertng wmcn may do in store for her. The little book rV Before Raby la Born. xrfll ha aent fraA ta ui address upon application to the Brad Held iie3uiator Uo., Atlanta, tteorgia. 1 i 1 1 i i i ' i i i ' i ' it r - I, Healtlfifuln of the bath depends largely on cleanu ' of the bath tub. Court health and 'gv' . j i ii l&HIfW,PoVDB? for all honsehold cleansing ptirpoei iATgcsx pacxage greatest economy. Bold eTeryvrhere. , Made 6niy bj THEN. K. FAIRBANK COMPANY; Ulictia ix aim. Hew York. polUdelphU. Bova, for inrants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought BEARS THE SIGNATURE OF 1 1 In Use For Over 30 Years. TMI eCNTAWN COHMMf, TT MUNMAV TUCCT. NIW VO CITV. HAS GOTTEN IN A FULL LINE OF MM Mm, mwWMMMl , FAIICY VESmiGS, -I AND 1- TxcuLseriTLgrs : of: DBTrer37-: mind JUST TAZE A LOOZ AT THE NEW SPBXHCI STYLES. THE GUILFORD ROLLER MILLS ' GEEEK-SBOHO, 3ST. C. ! 1 ( We solicit the trade of this section and guarantee satiufactloa c: custom work. We make a specialty of 4Our Patent" and "Batu Ground" Flours, Meal, &c, which for the money cannot be equaled. ; j Remember the place, "The Mill at the Depot.' I j GUILFORD ROLLER MILLS CO aaair G-EEE1TSBOBO, 3ST. C. We desire at the beginning of another new tobacco year to retur: ur thanks and exDress our annreciation totir friends and cuetocr for their oast favors and liberal natrohace. It is known to mot '1- tnat we nave tne oest marKet in this country and that - The Banner Leads in Big Averages Our buyers are now ready for all trades and kinds of vour toWfj and we claim the advantage of havinir a htirer for everv kind. ! ! SoE Ck them ship to foreign markets and are in a position to pay the very est market price for all export grades, wbile others are repreientatit of the largest manufacturers in America. There is active compefit between thpan hnvan Tha hnp fl,a a mo.inan Tnlifirfrt Co. our home manufacturers use all classes of stock. While tin ii feel safe in saying that YOU CANNOT FIND A BETTER MARKET than Greensboro for vour entire crnn frnnthA rnmmonest f Ker ( v waa w w w w - - - finest bright and mahogany wrapper. - i The Banner Warehouse is fully equipped and operated ienced warehouse men. No one will give your tobacco more creu? tebtion or exercise better judgment in selling than will "liHlV lrt our inctioneer, andW. J. Blackburn, who has charge of the eaM have had many years experience in the warehouse busing know the) worth of tobacco and will get you its full value. Jihfl Smith, odr weigh and paymaster, discharges his duty correctly aD :i sclenciously. W. L. Wharton and "Shell" W. Porter, our book , U! L1 a. . t . ... . ... .tncla. t,uuuuiiiy compeieai ana aispatcn DUSiness witn correciM f t M Sharp, Will B. McKinney and W. J. Branch are all at tbci ocg mav jou ouu yuur BiocK are properly carea xor aay xioping 10 see you soon, we remain your zrienas, SniTfl. BLACKBDEH & CO he v
The Greensboro Patriot (Greensboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
March 22, 1899, edition 1
8
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