An Independent Fuaull- Newnpapwi Vow the Promotion of the Political, Sooial, Atrrloiiltiai-nl uuil Comniwclal Ztresta at th Souths
LINCOLNTON, N. C., SATURDAY, MARCH 18. 18T6.
NO. 149.
PUBLISHED
A, J. T,
BY
DeLANE,
JKEMS IS A DVAN'CE :
E mz5. month l.nn
&si'tnTW months ',!
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,pie,one year lR.On
i J to persons who make up clubs or
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J;,iltUArV .Notices 1UM imillies i fs-
Irt, ruti'it ii ail vert i -ciiicnts. Ar.nounee-
rEntoofMiirri:;ir'c and IVaths, anil no
of it religions character, inserted
Eii,nml nolieiteil.
iT'IsT Pr""""' I'omiiiunirations, when
1 &ioiwnhlH; I'ommunicutionn of 'limited
! fl l hKliviiluat interest, or roconimcndn
" wof dindi'tnli's for nlllces of honor,
jf Cntortrust, will be charged for as ad-
Selected l?oelru.
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art!
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AHOTHEK'3. v
anaitlic most alluring eyes
Utile lirncian nose ;
Atittn the most bewitching guise
lai parti-colored hove!
fnrlnui-h can thrill on. strangely when
AtocliwoH her in the dance;
it salt, they tell me so burthen
ilenr had the chance !
a meltine; tone', no people nay,
Iatnikite the brain.
lad leave, when she has none away,
iiovakin to n:..n.
Her voice is like sweet inl-u, when
luatrain arc soft and low ;
fetbott who've heard it sai but then,
I never did, you know !
She naikeM the most superb ragout
Knits Htockiii' by the hi-orc.
EaoviUtiii, and Italian too,
Greek, french anl nltvity more!
tori jtwt the (tirl to .sweeten life
adorable! divine!
llillnrtshcisit pei feet wife !
fintthen he isn't mine!
THE OLD KAN'S DEEAM.
0, ferine hour of youth fill joy !
liivebai'k my twentieth sprite, ?
Wmtlier liiiijrli a briylit-liaired boy
Than rein a yray-haiid king.
Iff with the wrinkled spoils of age;
Away with U'iiroi nV crown;
Tearout life's viisdow w rittinjr page
And rest its trophies dow n,
One monient, let mv lifi blood stream
Fran boyhood's fount of fame ;
(ive me one giddy, reeling dream
Of hfe,and love, uud fame.
V liatenina- aneel hear the prayer,
And, calmly amilinp:, said :
111 but touch thy silvered hair
Thy busty wisli had sped.
'Bit ii there nothing in the track
To mil thee -fondly Btav,
While the wirt Heanoua hurry hack
wnnil the wislied-for day ?"
Oh, tniet loul of woman kind,
tithout thoe what were life?
"wblim I cannot leave behind,
fll take my precious wife.
"W angel took a aapphire pen
Ana wrote in rainbow hue.
llieuun would be a bov aijain, .
And be a hiiHbaud too.
'Andiithcre nuthingyct unaaid,
Before the elumra unuearH ?
at atneniber all thy gifts have tied
Willi these doaolving years."
ty,ye, I would one favor more ?
Hrfgnd internal iovs
I (Mild Dot bear to lose them all ;
'"take my girls and boys."
"milling angel dropped his pen.
'" 'bil will never do ;
uan would be a boy again,
I be a father too !"
S l I lailirht d. ilr l.in,iiilerwnkil
Hie household with its noise,
'rote my dream w hen morning bruke,
" Please inv irirls ,,,,.1 Iw.vo
Knuldt 1M,h, ,.
There
is a stoiy of mi uM hunter
'to came into I'liieuyo ono day, and
andering nlmut Tor avvhilo
4ilit tho publio buildinirs iiikJ
'fWenientM, K,,t into a eliat wiik
inhubilunls, in the course
mentioned that lie had
luiliee to hue nil the
f" be i-ity wits built upon
Pir of oid boots, "And why
ir,fcol just the..," was tho old
""tatlm, HeBlyv-
Itlpiohhe ,ne
""lean a ho,,,. I,., .., i... :,, .,
lemiw9 ve i . .. .
' m uen 11 is put out..
AH IHTEEE3TIH8 STOBT.
Wanted A Wife.
I do w ish Homebody would tell me
how to got aTtifiT! Kur the laat ten
yenra I've hoen continually proponing
at nil nortB of limes, in all sorts of
plnecs, to all sorts of girU, and in all
aorta of position. I have been knelt
in the clear moonlight, whilo tbe soft
r.eyhyrs of June fannned my hcted
brow mid with my ' hnnd on my
'heart madu too moat rutaaionate ap
penf a romantic maiden could desire. I
have proM)acJ in tho giddy wmsm of
I lie waltz ; 1 have besought a fnir girl
to lio mine whilo stating, reminding
her nt the time that tho path of life
was fur too slippery to bo trodden
ulone; 1 have popped tho question be
hind the door, (in llierstair, and in fact
everywhere I' con I1, tbe last time bu
iiif in the surf at Iong Branch, where
I bepgod tlieubject of Iny affection
to let us breast the wares of life to
gether. Hut it's of no earthly nne! No ono
will have me except an old maid; amT
I'm not partial to old maids; though
goodness knows, I want a wife al
most badly enough to take one. I've
h'.irilly a button on any of my shirls,
or other iindcrgnrinonlH, and am con
sequently obliged to fasten them with
pins, I which occasionally prick me, at
nio.st inconvenient times.) My toes
are poking out of my socks, and my
fingers out of my gloves, while to
crown all, I, who am a groat lover of
cleanliness, ant forced to sit in u horri
ble dirty room. I have changed my
boarding laousu ever so many times,
but it doesn't mnk a particle of dif
ference. 3Iy landlady always says it
isn't her business to "clenn up" after
me ; the servants invariably remark
that il is no business of theirs, and
I'm sure nobody can say that I ought
to get a broom and dustpan and keep
my own room clean.
My washerwoman i everlastingly
cheating ine, besides continually sup
pressing various article of clothing;
and when I mildly inquire wliero they
have gone In. she solemnly swears
she never had them ; though I could
swear equally solemnly that sho hud.
Toon she cuts the p-nrl buttons off
my shirts, itud declares they canio off
in "the wash ;" and if 1 venture timid
ly to suggest that she should put thorn
on again, she thanks (iml that all the
gentlemen are not as mean an I am.
Oh, dear! It's very hard upon a
poorlcllow not to bo able to gvl a
wife when he wants one ! I'm not so
very bad looking, eithjr ; to be Hiire
I squint a little, but then that -peculiarity
is sometimes admired, and
even if it were not, surely aomo kind
hearted girl might shut her eyes lo
tho fact and confer upon mo tho ines
timable benefit of becoming my part
ner for life. I'm not bad tompetwl,
and don't drink. I'm only thirty, and
though 1 now belong to a flub, I'll
promise to give it up if required. 1
lossesn onongh money to keep a wife
comfortably ; I'm tall, and bavo a
splendid moustache; and what more
coiihhrgirl auk ?
If, after wailing a rensonablo time,
'I. receive no answer lo this advertise
ment, I ahail speedily emigrate to
some tropical climate, where clothes
arc almost superfluous, and washer
women unknown, uud where, conse
quently, a wife will not be ono of the
absolute necessities of eivilixed life.
Hot a Common Plug.
Bijab's next hand-out was a man
who had filled high positions. He
had been to tho masthead on the
mainmast of a ship, looked down from
Pike's I'cak and lived in a dvcetory
house. He had a word or two to Bay
and be said;
"I object to being pushed around
here as if I was a common plug of a
man."
It was explained to him that law
was law, and bis Honor quietly and
delicately added that ono who had
slept a drunken sleep fur half a day
among . empty molassos" barrel
shouldn't bo so particular about facing
an admiring public.
The prisoner admitted that he was
probably drunk when found. He was
a stranger, coming here to talk up a
now patent right, and he prudently
determined to bavo bis drunk before
businosii began to press oil hie Jime.
It was not bis present intention to
make a drunkard of himself, or to be
low down, nndihe insisted, on being
highly respected by all around him.
"Can't yon tell by tho look of me
that I am no one-horse bummer f" be
inquired; "I know who-1
know what I know. Who was tho
first President ? (ienrgu Washington.
What is tho earth's surface composed
off Land and water. What is the
Government of this country? ICepub
lican. I could answer such questions
right along for ninety days."
It was hard for him to part with a
five dollar bill, but he had to or peg
shoes for thirty -daya. ""It also hurt
him to think that he was treated Ilk
one common average of drunks, and
ho went away with the feeling that bo
had stumbled upon tho birth-place of
tyrants and despots.
Selling the Old Farm.
There is a constant buying and
selling of farms going on from year to
year in our country. This restlessness
ou the part of the farmer, and this
desire to change a present location for
another one hundred miles off, is so
frequently witnessed in our day, that
o cease to wTJtiderat it. In the time
of our forefathers, when" a man was
settled on a farm, he commonly con
tinued through life, and then left it
for his son. In times gone by tbe
same farm was first occupied by the
grandfather, and soon by the son and
grandson. Then the good old home
steal was rcvurenccd, nnd the oc
cupancy was ostecmed a privilege.
Tbero was a satisfaction fell by tbe
successor, that his predecessor was his
relative, cultivated tho sumo fields,
wandered by tho same brooks,
traversed the fame bills, ami ate of
the fruit of'-tbe sutno orchard. Then
there was a home feeling, homo asso
ciations, and homcuUuchmcnts. Xow
thc farmer looks more to his pecuniary
gains, anil when offered a large price
for his laud, hesitutus not to sell. He
quits his beautiful home, his well
cultivated acres, 'uud emigrates tu the
fur West, uud commences n hie of
hardship that ho never dreamed of.
It can be safely said that where ono
man succeeds in this undertaking,
many fail. If he could only sell bis
new farm, how gladly would ho bio
back to tho old homo now occupied
by sti'ungjis, and the enclosure con
taining tho graves of his kindred
going to ruin. With tho advent of
spring many will dispose of their
farms and removo lo a fur off country
to undergo tbe privations and troubles
incident upon establishing a home in
a new country. Our advice is lo re
main where you arc ; if you are com
fortably oft, be content tu remain so ;
do not exchango a certainty for an
uncertainty, unless powerful rcuaons
are brought to bear upon you to seek
a new settlement in a distant region.
Stick to the old farm, for it has never
failed you in the lime of need.
The Wonderi of Wooing.
In olden times it was tho fashion of
a suitor to go down on his knees to a
lady when he asked her to become his
wife, which, with very stout gentle
men, was an uticom fort able proceed
ing. The way in which IJaniol
Webster proposed lo Miss Fletcher
was more modern, being at the same
timo neat and poetic. I.ik.o many
other lovers he was caught holding a
skein of thread or wool which the
lady had been unravelling. "Uracie,"
said ho, "wo have been untying knots.
Lot as see if wo cannot tie one which
will not untio in a lifetime." With a
piece of tape ho fashioned half a li no
lover's knot, Miss Fletcher perftctcd
it, and a kiss put the seal to the sym
bolical bargain,
Most mon, when they "pop" by
writing, are more straightforward and
matter-of-fact. liitbard Htcele wrote
to the lady of his heart : "Dour Mi's.
Scurlock (there wero no tnissos in
those days,) I am tired of calling you
by that name; therefore, say a day
when you will tuko that of madam.
Your devoted, bumble servant,
ltichurd Sleolo." She fixed tbe day
accordingly, and Steeled her name in
stead of her heart lo tho suitor.
Tho well-known brothers. Jacob
and William (J rim in, wero exceeding
ly attached to each other, and hud no
desire to be married. Hut it wan
thought proper by their friends that
one of them should become a husband,
and Jueob being the elder, it was
agreed that lie should be the one lo
enter the bonds of matrimony. A
suitable lady waa found, but Jacob
declined to do the conning, request
ing: -WiIliom to act as ' his agent,
William consentodj but soon found he
d i rwas tn love, and wanted tho lady hi m-
solf. Heoould not think, howevor,
of depryring bis brother of such a
treaaoro, and knew not' how to act.
An aaryt kindly delivored him of his
difficulty by telling Jacob, who willing
ly resigned the damsel to his brother,
and went out of the way nntil she
had been made Mrs. William Grimm.
. A 8harp Bootblaok.
tg, Albany, a few daya since, an old
rogue beat a young one. A man step,
ped up to a juvenile ,bootbluck, op
posite the Stunwix, and had "a shino."
lie gave the youth a five dollar bill.
''Hain't got change enough, enp'n,"
said tho "shiner," displaying about
82. (W in sliinplnsters.
"How much have you ?" asked the
stranger,
"la-mine see," said the boy, count
ing his money ; "jess 12.20."
"(jive mo that und J will wait till
you get change," the stranger re
plied. . " '1
The youth grabbed tho $5 bill, gave
his customer the 82.2Q, und us he
"scooted" ho was overheard to say to
a chum : "Sim, if I hain't buck in a
few minutes, tell that 'ere cucumber
that I have got run over and smashed
finer nor mince meat. lie hain't
much stuck oh ! no."
As tho boy departed, tho stranger
told "Jim that he would be in the of
ficeof the Stanwix, across tho way,
wliero ho wished the 'shimicr' would
bring him his change."
In u few moments the bootblack
enmo running back with the perspira
tion streaming down flis face.
"Jim," said be to the boy, "whore's
that 'ere fraudulent deekiu ? Bust
me if he hain't shoved a 'queer' bill
onto mo, 'Taint worth tho paper
il's printed ou," and ho danced- ubout
us if he hud lust a large fortune. Jim
told him tbe stranger was at the
Stanwix, but a ton minutes' search
failed to reward the youth.
The bilor 'that was bit returned to
his post with a downcast look, and
was heard lo say, "Jim, that 'ere vil
lain must belong to tho whisky ring,
lie was too soon for this duck. Then
sliutos that 'ere caliker for tho olo'
woman nnd a don.Mi 'penny grubs' for
this 'hnii'-piu' to smoko on Christ
mas day, is gone up the flue, and that
'ere son-of-a-guirhas stuck mo 92.20,
when I thought 1 had a 'ofl thing' ou
bis five-dollar bill. Hut I've learnt
ono thing, and that is not to count
my chickens ngin aforo the old hen
has laid tho eggs to sit on. Shine 'em
up, mister? Only tcu cents.
Whitihtll Timet.
All For Principle.
They came out of a Michignn
avenue grocery, he carrying a big jug,
und as. they reached tho walk, he
said :
"Now, Dolly, you carry the jug and
give mo Ihut quarter of a pound of
tea."
"I'd liko to sec myself!" she replied.
"Dolly, do you want to see your
husband lugging an old brown jug
through the crowded streets of the
metropolis do you want others to see
him T"
"Come along with that jug!" she
impatiently exclaimed.
"Dolly, there's a gallon of molasses
in here, and wo know il ; but every
body olso will think it's whisky if I
carry it."
"Let 'cm think."
"Dolly, if you lovo meyou will car
ry the jug."
"I won't carry it "
"Then I won't! I'vo got twico us
much character to sustain as you
buvo !"
"Sustain it then"' sho said, as sho
startod for tho wagon around tho cor
ner. Ho called to her, to her, but she did
not answer.
(living tho big jug a terrific swing
into tho air, ho let go his hold, and It
cumo down with an awful crash.
''IjBsscs is nothing lo principle !"
ho explained to the little crowd, and
then followed on after Dolly. De
troit Fret Press.
Xothcr "Charlotte, how do you
like your new teacher ?" Churlollo
"Oh, she's a splendid teachor. Sho
don't carwhether wo know our les
sons or not."
An Old-Time Offioi-Seeker.
and old Jack Dads had been cbums
and had "punished" a groat deal of
the "juice nectariops" together. If
Dade was illiterate ho was a good
soul and companionable, and Tyler,
one of the old-time fellows and a man
of great ability, liked him anyway?
Alter Tyler was inaugurated Dade
made a trip to the capital to suo bim.
The interview was characteristic.
"Jack, old boy ! how are you ? Come
in," said the Governor, greeting tbe
old man as of yore. X,
"t7oeroi-ia , saiil-Pado '0tw
If a young lady wisheB a young
ijgaiuiaman to kiss her, what jpapera
. ' I.I IJ .! 9 V- CL-.-
they always called each other jact, .MiTWWi.
"1 want a offis." your honor, in' I'm ia.ld?.7( "ip
The Governor laughed. "Jack,"
suid he, "what are your qualifications
forofflee?"
"Well, now. Governor Jack, 1 kin
mix drinks. 1 kin mix your whiskey
sling, and your poor wine sangcrec
and your tod," said Dude, going over
a catalogue of compounds, "and I kin
drink 'cm, nnd you know it."
So they laughed together, on the
strength of reminiscences,
"Well, Juck," said the Governor,
"what kind of an office do you
want?"
"Governor Jack," was tho response,
'I wants a office with hell up big pay
and nothing to do!"
Value of a Scrap-Book.
Every one who lakes a newspaper,
which he in the least degree appre
ciates, will often regret to sec any one
number thrown aside for wasto paper
which contains somo interesting and
important article. And a good way
to preserve those is by tho uso of a
scrap-bo'ik. Ono who has never been
accustomed thus to preserve short ar
ticles, can hurdly estimate tbe pleas
ure it uffords to sit down -and turn
over tho familiar pages. Hero a
choice piocc of poetry meets tho eye,
which you remember you were so
glad to see in the paper, but which
you would long since huve hist hud it
not been for your scrap-book. Tbero
is a witty cnecdote it does you good
lo laugh over it yet, though for the
twentieth t i mo. Next is a valuable
rcceipoyou had almost forgotten, and
which you huve found just in timo to
save much perplexity. There is a
sweet little story, tho memory of
which has cheered mid encouraged
you many a timo when ulmost ready
to despair under tho pressure of life's
cares and trials. A choice thought
is far more precious than a bit of glit
tering gold. Hoard with care tho pre
cious gems, and see at tbe end of the
year what a rich treasure yon Lave
accu m ulated. &lcctel.
cal tone, said
"Well, well, I believe it is truo
onough ; it is not the church-going
should sho mention ? No Spectator,
no Observer, but as many Times an
you please.
At a collection made at a charity
fair a lady offered the plate to a rich
man who was well known for fail
stinginess. "1 have nothing," was
tho cart reply. "Then take eon
thing, air," said the lady ; yon know
I am begging for tbe poor."
An Irishman waa brought before t
jimt "f the peace on tbe charge of
vagrancy, and waa thus questioned :
a seafaring man! I question whether
yon have ever been to sea in your -life."
"Shnro, now, ou' does your
honor think I coino over from Ireland
in a wagin?"
The Shower of Flesh from a Clear Bit,
On Friday a showor of meat fell
near tho hotiso of Allen Crotlcb, ft ho
lives some two or three mjles from the
Olympian Springs, in tho northern
portion of tho county, covering a
stripof ground about 100 yards in
length and 50 wide. Mrs. Crouch
wa out in tho yard at tho timo, en
gaged in making soap, wbco meat
which looked like beef began to fall
around her. Tho sky was perfoctly
clear at tho time, and she said it foil
like lurge snow flakes, tho pieces an a
general thing not being much larger.
One piece fell near her which was
throe or four inches square. Mr.
Harrison Gill, whose veracity is un
questionable, und from whom we ob
tained the abovo facts, hearing of the
occurrence visited the locality the
next day, and says ho saw particles of
meat slicking to the fences and
scattered over the ground. The moat
when il first fell appeared to bo per
fectly fresh.
The corrospnndent of the Louisville
Comm'reial, writting from Mount
Sterling, corroborates tho above, and
suya the pieces of flesh were of various
siiscs and shapes, some of them being
two inches sqnare. Two gentlemen,
who tasted the meat, express tho
opinion thut it was either mutton or
venison. Bulk County (Ky.) iWeuw.
Her Lovo had Waned.
They camoout of a Michigan avenue
grocery, ho carrying a big jug, and as
they reached the walk ho said :
"Now, Dolly, you carry the jug and
give mo that quarter of a pound of
tea."
I'd like to see myself!" she replied.
"Dolly, do you want to eeo your
husband lugging an old brown jug
through tho crowded streets of tbe
metropolis do you want others to see
him ?"
"Como along with that jug I" she
impatiently exclaimed.
"Dolly, there's a gallon of molasses
hero, and wo know it, but everybody
else will think il's whisky if I carry
it."
"Let 'em think."
"Dolly, if you love mo you will car
ry the jug."
"I won't carry it I" .
"Then I won't I Pro got twico as
much character to sustain as vou
have!"
"Sustain it then," she said as she
started fur tho wagon around tho
corner.
Ho called to her, but she did not
answer. Giving the big jug a tcrrifto
swing into the air, he let go his hold
and it came down with an awful
crash.
"'Lasses is nothing to principle!"
he explained to tho little crowd, and
then followed on after Dolly.
Positive Oars for Hog Cholera.
Ono-quartcr of a pound of Spanish
brown, one-half pound of copperas,
one pound of sulphor, two '
pounds of charcoal, one pound
of dry and three pounds of
green poke-root and three gallons of
wut or ; boil woll one hour and put in
a truugb with drinking water as
strongas bogs will drink. Ifa-hogis-too
sick to drink, drench once or
twice.
A serious charge has been brought
against a school teacher in Illinois,.
the specifications of which ore:
Who Bob Orohardi ?
In a cerU.in village in the far West
was an atheist. He was a grout ad
mirer of Hubert Dale Owen and Fan
ny Wright, but he could see no beau
ty or cxcolcnce in the Sun or righte
ousness. This man of course, novcr entered
any place of workship. Indeed, in
the fruit season ho wus specially busy
on Sunday in defending his orchard
from bis great enemies, the woodpeck
er and tbe idle, profligate persons of
ihe village, who on that day made
sad bavoo among bis applet and
peuches.
One day, w hile at work with his
son-in-law un atheist, like himself,
although u more kind and courteous
gentleman as a pastor of a congre
gation was passing, ho very rudely uc
coated tbe ministers:
"Sir, what is tho use of your preach
ing? What good d j you do by it?
Why don't you teach these fellows
better morals ? Why don't you tell
them something ubout stealing in
your sermons, nnd keep liiem from
robbing my orchurd ?"
To this the minister pleasantly re
plied :
"My dear sir, I am sorry that you
uro so annoyed, and I should most
willingly read the fellows who rob
your orchard a lecture on thieving,
but the truth is, they uro nil so liko
you and the major here that I never
get a chance."
"Good, good," replied the major,
laughing; on which tho elder .atheist,
hlushingjijiltlotaiid in RiLnpotogulM "IrmrjioraTty I Z. Farsbality 1' 3.'.
Keeping disorilly shoal f 4. Carrying
nnlatle weping!"
x be comioiue-nian wbo wrote tbe'
people that steal my apples." A'iiki charge thinks o running the school
irr r;. Innwii next quarter.