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"TOD" ELKUM'S
AVI 1 VMUOiL.a, 1 IVAK.
ir-
By Howard
a a a q a &a &
'' 'LAO HBEE -weeks before
l fTI Thanksgiving there was a
P I O consultation among the iir
$ A' mates of the Morrisville
"rOr poorhouse. It was held in
the common sitting-room, where the
men and women were allowed to gath
er when they-were not eating, or sleep
ing. About all the unfortunates in the
almshouse had to do was to eat and
steep; a few worked about the institu
tion or in the garden. The convention
opened rather unexpectedly, when
jSarah Tooker remarked:
"What d'ye s'pcse we'll have for
Thanksgivin' ?" '
All the others turned and looked at
her, for Sarah was the latest arrival,
and consequently new to the regula
tions governing the Morrisville poor
Louse. "Do they feed us on turkey or chick
en?" she continued. "I'm a little mite
fouder. of turkey myself, but I s'pose
I can eat chicken on a pinch."
"Ho! ho!" laughed Rodnev Eckert.
"Ho! ho!" and his two remaining teeth
Tattled together like corn in a parching-pan.
"Turkey! Chicken! Land
love ye, Sarah Tooker! If it ain't roast
beef it'll be lamb stew,.and if it ain't
lamb stew' it'll be roast beef, an' ye
'can. take your choice. I know. I've
been here nigh onto fourteen year now."
Most likely it'll be lamb stew. I call
to mind how we had roast beef last
j ear."
. uagnt otner om men and ten other
old women nodded their heads in grave
assent.. They also Icnew, from more
or less long experience, what the
Thanksgiving dinner would be. It was
only slightly different from the usual
meals of soup, bread and tea, served
regularly at the poorhouse. Only Sarah
hoped for a change. The others
iiiiiiv II I m m iniir ir
"Lamb stew," said Sarah, plaintively.
""Why, the idea! -Thanksgiving, too!
Well, all I've got tc say is, that it ain't
what I'm used to, not b'y a good deal.
I don't see why we can't have a chick
on potpie," she finished, with a little
sigh.
"Don't let Zeke Jedeil hear ye," cau
tioned Bud Tunkert. "As long as he's
been superintendent of this poorhouse,
. he can't abide to have any pne find
fault with the eatin'. Not that we
need to, most times; but since ye
brought up the Thanksgivin' subject,
it. kinder runs in my head. Turkey!
Ah! Uin!"
"My, oh, my! Thanksgivin', an' lamb
stew!" Tepeated Sarah. "It doesn't
seem reasonable. Before I had to
come her I was used to a big turkey
for dinner a big, fat, brown turkey."
"If ye'd just leave off . mentioning
such things I'd be obliged to ye," said
Tod Elkuin, with a littje quaver in his
voice, He awoke from the doze he
had been in. "It makes a body feel
hungry," he went on. " 'Specially
when the feastin' time's so near. If
it's all the same, ye might mention
somethin' about bein' shipwrecked on
a desert island, with nothin' to eat but
boot-legs an' seaweed. That'll give
us appetites for lamb Stew," he con
cluded. A silence concluded, while each one
of the twenty inmates of the poor
Louse was busy with, his or her own
sad thoughts.
. Sarah Tooker wagged her head de
jecte'dly. It was a new experience for
her, for she had been in good circum
stances until failing fortunes and the
death of alj her relatives had obliged
her to seek refuge in that place dread
ed by all the aged.
"It does seem a pity we can't cele
brate for once," mused Tod Elkum, a"s
he walked out into the yard.- "T-would
relish, a nice, brown slice of turkey,
with plenty of gravy an lots of dress
in'. And I wouldn't mind some cran
berry , sauce, too. But I s'pose th'
selectmen ain't ' got. money to waste
on such frills."
Out on the pleasant country road a
great red automobile rushed by, rais
ing a cloud of dust- The State turn
pike passed through Morrisville.
"I'lL bet those folks ain't .worryin'
about where their turkey is comin'
. y . J n.nn rn TVwl "Will! wa na n'f
all be rich, and maybe it's a good
thing."
He strolled toward the road, walk
ing slowly, for his limbs were feeble
from age. . He enjoyed the crisp air
of November and the genial sun, which
tampered the rather cool afternoon.
, There was the delightful smell of aut
umn, coming from the brown earth,
and the dried leaves rattled as he trod
on them.
He reached the road and turned
toward the village. The dust from
the automobile was still flying lazily
in the sunlight. A little way ahead
Tod saw a -figure. It was that of a
man, and he was shaking his staff at
-mothini? in the distance. When Tod
raaie .nearer - he recognized Hank.
vvn&ui, " i
"What's the trouble?" asked Tod.
"Somebody tryin' to run over ye?"
"It's : them pesky automobiles!"' said
Hank. .
"What did It do? Most nip ye?" in
quired Tod.
"No. -3at it was goin' twice as fast
as the law allows," replied, Hank, "and
i was bollerin' to stop it. The select
men, j ha.v passed ,ya? , htjnihe;
P. Garis.
a a .a a. a a & & a
a
"And ye were countin' on arrestin'
'em?"
"I was, and finin' 'em, too," said
Hank, firmly. "There's a penalty of
ten dollars for exceedin' the speed
limit. Half of it goes to the town and
the other half is divided between the
marshal making the arrest and Squire
Bascomb. There's a good two dollars
and a half I could have had just as
well as not."
"It's somethin' like fishin'," consoled
Tod. "Better luck nest time."
"I'll warrant the next one don't get
away from me!" threatened Hank. He
walked on, while Tod strolled slowly
after him.
But the sturdy legs of the marshal
soon proved too fast for the older man,
and Tod dropped behind.
"If I see any of them autobilers goin'
too, fast, shall I notify ye?" called out
Tod after the' retreating marshal.
"Yes, or ye can arrest 'em yourself,
if ye want to," answered Hank. "No
law again' it. But ye'd better be care
ful. It takes some one with a show
of authority to bring 'em to a- halt."
"Well, I'll let ye know if I, see any
of 'em," said Tod, as he kept on with
halting pace.
The days came and went. Life con
tinued the same in the Morrisville
poorhouse. There was the same soup
and tea and bread. The little excite
ment caused by the mention of a
Thanksgiving feast had died out. A
week before the holiday Zeke Jedeil,
the superintendent, called on Thomas
Jenkins the chairman of the board of
town selectmen.
"What'll I give the inmates for
Thanksgiving?" asked Zeke.
"What did they have last year?"
asked Mr. Jenkins.
"Roast beef and potatoes," answered
Zeke. r
, "Beef's high and funds are low,"
said Mr. Jenkins. "Lamb's cheaper.
Give 'em lamb stew."
"They had that year before last,"
ventured Zeke.
"Well, they'll forget it by this time,"'
rejoined Mr. Jenkins.
"Humph! You don't know 'em as
well as I do," said Zeke. But there
was no appealing from the decision of
the chairman, and the superintendent
prepared to give a big dinner of lamb
stew to his charges.
Thanksgiving was three days off.
Even Sarah Tooker, most hopeful of
alJ had given up, and resigned herself
to lamb stew. The others, after the
brief delights of an almost wild antici
pation, had fallen back into their usual
apathy.
7 But some new spirit seemed awak
ened in Tod Elkum. He slept less than
usual, and when True Kimball wanted
him to engage in the usual game of
checkers one afternoon Tod declined.
"What ye goin' to do?" asked True.
"I got a little matter o' business to
tend to down the road," answered Tod,
and he hurried away as fast as his
legs would carry him.
He was muttering to himself.
"If it works, there ain't any reason
why we sha'n't all have turkey," he
was saying, softly. "If I've only got
gumption enough to do it. And I will
have! I will! Just to think a lamb
stew for Thanksgivin'! I never re
alized before what it meant. It's all
along o' Sarah Tooker's suggestin' it."
Tod walked along the State road,
scanning the. fence closely. The weath
er, although crisp, was clear, and there
was no sign of snow yer. The autumn
was late that year, and coaching and
automobile parties from the cities near
Morrisville were frequent.
"I guess that'll do," said Tod, as he
took hold of a long, heavy rail. From
his pocket he pulled some rope, and
then he fastened one end of the rail
to a fence-post, loosely, so that it
worked as if on a huge hinge. Then
he hoisted the rail high in the air, up
right, fastening it theve by a light pole,
used as a brace.
To this brace he tied another piece
of rope, and then, holding the end of
the cord in his hand, he took his poci
tin onthe other side of the road, :aear
the fence.
"My spring trap's all complete now,"
he said, with a chuckle. "I'm ready
for the game when it con3s along."
Any one who watched him might
have wondered what sort of game the
old man hoped to catch. He sat for
nearly an hour, resting bis' weaiy back;
against the lowest fence-rail. The dried
leaves on the forest trees in the woods
to his left rustled in the cool fall wind.
In his rather thin garments the old
man shivered.
Suddenly from down the road sound
ed a cry, like a flock of wild gpese in
flight; -
Honk! Honk! Honk!
"There she blows!" cried the old
man, jumping up. "Now for my trap!
If it only works!"
Around a bend in the road came a
big red automobile. It was speeding
along, the gay party in it laughing and
talking.
"Fifteen mile an hour if It's a foot,"
muttered' Tod. He drew in his breath
sharply. His hands -trembled, but he
steadied them, and then he gave the
cord a sudden "yank." The long rail
fell with a - clatter and bang right
Licros,s jheoajl ,,Tho,path was; ef-
a yell. He pulled some levers with a
suddenness that brought the big, ma
chine up with a qrfiver of brakes.
"What do you mean " asked the man
at the wheel, angrily. 'We might
have smashed that rail if I hadn't
stopped."
"I calculated ye'd stop," said the old
man, coolly. "That's what I put the
rail there for."
"Well, you must be crazy," said the'
man, lifting up his big goggles. "What
in the world did you want us to stop
for?"
"Exceedin' the speed limit," replied
Tod, sententjously. "Goin' faster'n
ten mile an hour. I'm delegated by
th' town marshal to 'rest ye," he went
on, simply. "Hank Wright; mebbe ye
know him."
"No, I don't," rejoined the chauffeur,
crossly,
"I'm s'prised," rejoined Tod. "Well,
it don't matter. He's delegated me to
look after such people's you, ridin'
faster'n the law allows."
"Have you a badge?" asked the
chauffeur, suddenly. ,
Tod hesitated for an instant. He
thought of Hank Wright's big shining
nickel star, the emblem of his author
ity as town marshal, and his face fell.
"I ain't got any badge," he said at
last. "There ain't but one badge in
town, and Hank Wright wears that.
He's the town marshal. But he's give
me the authority to arrest ye, and so
I'd advise ye to submit peaceably.
"Ye see," he continued, feeling that
some explanation was necessary, "I
ain't been long at this business. I live
over at the poorhouse, an' thif is my
own idea for raisin' funds for gettin'
a Thanksgivin' dinner."
"What in the world has stopping our
automobile got to do with a Thanks
giving dinner?" asked the man with
the goggles. '
"Why, there's ten dollars' fine for
goin' faster'n the law allows.'' ex
plained Tod. "Half goes to the town,
an' the other half is divided 'tween
me an' Squire Bascomb. So ye'd better
come 'long peaceable and 'pear in
court, for I represent the law, that's
what I do," and his wrinkled and
seamed old face, kindly as it) always
was, took oh a queer, stern look.
There was a brief whispering among
the occupants of the automobile.
"I might add that all we was goin
to have for Thanksgivin' dinner," said
Tod, "was lamb stew. I've as good as
earned two dollars and a ha'lf now, and
I'm goin' to stay here till I get enough
for a good turkey dinner. Be ye ready
to go to the justice's office?"
"Yes, we'll go along peaceably," said
the man with the goggles. "Won't you .
get in and ride with us?"
"If ye'll promise not to go faster'n
the law allows," agreed the old man.
"We'll go slowly,", said the chauffeur.
Thereupon Tod removed the fence
rail, and gingerly climbed into the au
tomobile. There was a little flurry, of
excitement when the big, puffing ma
chine drew up in the village before the
office of Squire Bascomb, although the
fining of drivers of the machines was
not infrequent in the town.
VI 'rested 'em," said Tod, proudly,
to the gaping crowd of villagers. "I
'rested 'em, squire, with my patent
automobile-stopper,", and he chuckled
at the remembrance.
Squire Bascomb opened court grave
ly. "Are you -sure they were exceedin
the speed limit? he asked Tod.
"Well " began the old man, slowly,
for he had not counted on having to
give evidence, technical evidence at
that.
"Oh, yes. we were going rather fast,"
admitted the driver of the machine, in
response to a nudge from one of the
women. "I think we will plead guilty,"
and he pulled out his pocketbobk aud
laid ten dollars on the squire's desk.
"Don't do it again," cautioned the
magistrate, severely, as he took the
money and handed Tod his share. The
old man's fingers trembled so that he
almost dropped the money.
"Where are you going now?" asked
one of the ladies in the automobile
party.
"I'm goin' back for more game," re
plied Tod. "I've got to have 'bout
five dollars more before ' I'll have
enough to buy turkey for. all of us up
to the poorhouse."
"Get in and we'll take you back."
said the chauffeur, softly, and he
seemed to have suddenly taken cold.
Once more Tod rode in the big red
machine. This time it went straight
up. to the door of the almshouse, and
when the man at rthe steering-wheel
helped the old "man down he pressed
something that was crisp and crinkly
into Tod's hand.
"It's for Thangsgiving," he said, as
Tod gazed at the generous bill; and the
man in goggles wrapped his coat about
him, for it was quite chilly.
- Such a dinner as they had at the
Morrisville poorhouse three days later!
Never such plump, brown turkeys,
never such rich gravy and dressing,
such delicious cranberry sauce, such
crisp white celery! Never such mince
pies! Mrs. Zeke Jedeil fairly outdid
herself on the meal. And such appe
tites as everybody had! .
"It's almost as good as bavin' a big
red automobile," said Tod. "I was
afraid I wouldn't hev the spunk" to
stop em, but -I did.".
"My, but that's- certainly a fine tur
key!" spoke Sarah Tooker,-with a sigh
that expressed the deepest content
ment. And all the others agreed with'
her. Youth's Companion. "
Poetical Place -Name.
The voortrekkers had a fine sense of
the pdtetry of things. TJp in the Trans
vaal there is a little place which re
joices in the name of Waachteenbeit--
jebeideboschfontein. It is a name
which speaks of leisure; whose gentle,
invitation to the thirsty traveler to
rest a little by the brook beneath, the
and -barren -land.. Capetown Times.
Children
outer
BEDTIME.
' 'The Child.: v
My mother tucks me up in bed xf"
And kisses me good night, V
And then I feel as safe and snug
As if 'twas broad daylight.' ; i"
But sometimes when the night wind blows,
And I hear the thunder peal,
I think of all the ' flowers outdoors,
And wonder how they feel.
How glad I -am that I'm a child,
Safe in my little bed,
With mother niear"if I should call.
And father's roof o'erheatr.
The Flower,
The cool, dark night has come again,
The time for sweet repose;
I gently rock on my long green stem;
My weary petals close.
And when the night is very warm,
And all tie earth is dry,
How I rejoice to see the clouds
Come creeping o er the sky! t ' ,
I lift my drooping head to catch '
The first drops of the shower; .
And when I feel them pelting dowr
I'm glad to be a flower!
Anne Murray Lamed.
THE RACE OF THE MONITORS.
The accompanying picture explains
itself. It is a novel water sport for
bovs and just the thing for fresh
water bathers. It should not be tried
in surf. ,
Each boy makes a monitor, as elab
orate or as simple as he likes. The
very easiest way to construct one is to
get a light box and nail a- piece of
board oa each lid. One end of each
pointed or rounded, to represent the
bow and stern of the little ironclads
or monitors of our navy. Cut holes in
the sides, front and back of the box,
so that you can easily see out on all
sides when you are "in the turret."
Now for the monitor race. Each
boy puts his head in the opening of
the box, wearing the box like a huge
hat, until the course is reached.
The course for the race should lie
over all depths of water, although in
deep water for only a very little dis
tance. At some places in the course
WATER THE EASIEST
the water should not be more than
two feet deep, in others about six feet
for a very little way and in others
about waist high. This is the key
note of the race.
Each racer has to propel his monitor
by pushing it with his head, which
must remain inside the turret. In
water just up to the neck this is not
easy, and not at all difficult when he
enters deeper water and has to swim
for a little way, but when he reaches
very shallow water his trouble be
gins. The monitor must rest on the
water throughout the race, the racer
must keep his head inside the entire
distance and must not touch the craft
with hands. So when the water is
only Waist high he has to crouch very
low and keep his head in the turret,
and when he strikes a few yards of
the course where the. water is hardly
knee deep he must crawl, and the
sight furnished by a lot of racfers at
this stage usually convulses the audi
ence. New York Evening Mail.
A DOG'S FUNERAL.
He was only a dog, but he had saved
many lives, and when he gave his own
life trying to save others, the good
monks of St. Bernard Hospice buried
him with honor.
Geneva, May 24. To-day the monks
of St. Bernard Hospice sang a special
Te Deum for a dog, the finest, and
bravest St. 'Bernard of all the life
saving forces, that do battle with the
eternal snows and deathlike cold of
the Alpine peaks. They sang a Te
Deum for a hero. And when the last
sonorous note of the chant had droned
mnd echoed and lost itself in the silence,
gvery priest among them shed tears
upon the body of Barry II., the martyr
of the Alps.
Outside on the church steps, sup
ported by a rough bier of fir branches,
covered by a soft black pall and guard
ed by two cowled monks, lay the dog
that had died while . doing his duty.
None of his human brothers ever died
lrfore. nobly, for Barry II. died that
three travelers might- live. The trav
elers for whom he died attended the
special service at the little chapel, and
when it was done they helped with
their own hands to bury the animal
that had died to save them.
, It was a fitting service for the dead
St. Bernard who had saved thirty-fVjr
lives. Men, women and children whom
he rescued from , the menace of: the
snows and the perils of crevasses. biess
the memory of this wordless friend.
Our Dumb Animals.
A SAFE MESSENGER.
Robert was playing on., the beach.
He had found a little stream that fol
lowed across the sa"jfd5-and made its
way between two rocks, and there
formed a small waterfall; this stream
he called the Mississippi, and he was
busy sailing great barges of grain
down to the Gulf of Mexico. That is,
lie said so to his aunt, who was busy
sketching near by.
.4;; nt&vefe'
J"$r 'a 'rcck
fNow and then be lifted up his head and j
watched the sea gulls as they-flew
over head. The tide was coming in,
but so slowly that they did. not notice
it, and it had crept round the edge of
a large boulder and was fast covering
the rocks that had served as stepping
stones and i connected them with the
mainland. The sot where they sat
was never wholly covered by water,
but the tide surrounded it, and there
were always about four hours when it
was impossible to reach the shore.
Still Aunt Jennie sketched and Rob
ert carried on a tremulous . commerce.
Rover felt more uncomfortable, aud
coming over to Robert, rubbed his nose
against his shoulder.
"Go away!" said Robert, a trifle im--patiently,
for he was sure at that mo
ment that the coast cities were with
.out grain and the people were starv
ing. Rover tipped up his head and gave
a long howl, and began to jump about
nervously. Aunt Jennie looked up
from her work. "Why, Robert." she
cried, "the tide has come m and left
us on the island!" .
They threw down their things and
ran to the other side. Here they
found that the stepping-sfones that
ran over to the land were already far
under water. Robert looked dismayed.
"Do you think we will starve?" he
asked, fearfully.
"Not in four hours," laughed Aunt
Jennie; "and besides, perhaps some
one will come after us.
"Can't we telephone?" he asked.
"I am afraid we should have to build
a station and connect the wires first,"
laughed his aunt. "I do wish we had
some one to send." Then she looked
down into Rover's solemn eyes. The
dog wagged his tail and gave a short
bark. "Would ;rou go?" she asked.
He began to dance round her and give
short "whoofs," to show how willing
he was. Rover had been taught to find
his master under all circumstances.
Robert often tied a letter to his collar
and sent him to father's office.
As they decided to try the experi
ment, Aunt JennL? tore a leaf from
her note-book, and wrote, "We are
caught by the tide; send a boat to the
island." This she tied to the dog's
collar by a bit of her sash ribbon, and
MONITOR RACE.
then Robert said, "Go find papa!"
Hardly were the words given than
Rover was away with a bound. He
paused but a moment at the edge of
the water, and then, giving a parting
bark, he plunged in and made straight
for the other side. When he reached
the shore he shook himself and tore
off up the hill.
- They knew now-that they would be
safe if the dog's master were only to
be found, so they began to pack up
their things to return. It was not
long before a boat came round the
point, making toward the island. Papa
was rowing, and Rover sat in ' the
bow, acting as pilot.
"Hurrah for the messenger!" cried
Robert, and papa waved his cap.
H. C. Hill, in Youth's Companion.
NEW" GAME FOR OUT OF DOORS.
This game is" a test of skill in hoop
rolling. As a rule, says the Home
Journal, the players soon grow to be
quite expert in guiding their hoops,
and can perform such feats as' "re
turn rolls" and "bouncing hoop" with
a great deal of cleverness.
Five pegs or sticks are required in-
this game, per dimensions shown in
diagram, "and placed according to
measurements shown. Standing at a
distance of fifteen feet from the pegs
each player must endeavor to roll his
hoop through either of the two open
ings, to left or right of the tall, peg.
If- they pass through safely, they will
strike the string or rope and rebound,
falling possibly over one of the three
THE G AMI OF HOOP . BOUNCE,
pegs. The middle peg, more difficult
than the rest, counts twenty points,
while the two smaller ones score ten.
points each.-
It will be found possible to exercise
cleverness in manipulating the hoops,
as a jerk or twist or firm roll will tend
to give the rebound its necessary
force.
"First of all, the hoop must be rolled
skillfully enough to make it pass
through the two openings. If a hoop
falls upon a peg before it rebounds
f om the string the player loses his
c'.i anises of count for that time, and
o her players follow in quick succes
sion. ' -
The string used in this game, on
the two back pegs, should be of suf
ficient strength to give Arm resistance
to the hoops when they are rolled.
and the more strength put in the roll
" ' ',J;,-ir'
D - I
- or
UNOSTENTATIOUS.
Our magnates show their riches may '
When in a foreign jclime
But none of them make much display
Around taxpaying time. "
AN INSINUATION.
BraggsV'I killed a bear during my
hunting trip in Montana."
Waggst "So? How far did he chase
you before he dropped?" Chicago
isews.
A HAPPY RELEASE.
Kind Friend "Pardon me, but 1
ought to tell you that Jones has run
away with your wife."
Husband (bored) "But why run?"
London Punch.
4
THE ONE WEAK POINT.
McFlub "I suppose you find your
new automobile superior in every way
to your old horse?"
Sleeth "Not in every way. It balks
just about as often."
A HASTY EXPLANATION.
"I wonder why all those swimmers
who try to swim the English Channel
always start from the English side?"
"Probably it's the shortest way."
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
. A GOOD MATCH.
Bell "I never understood how that
ugly Miss PasSay got a man to marry
her." '
Nell VI didn't, either till I saw the
man." Detroit Free Press.
THE OTHER EXEREME1.
Blinker "Poverty is not a disgrace."
Clinker "No, it's an honor these
days. Look at the rich men falling
over themselves in their efforts to apol
ogize for their tainted money."
CHEEP! CHEEP!
"I declare," remarked the duck, "if
that little chick isn't trying to talk al
ready, but it doesn't amount to much."
"No," replied the young rooster,
scornfully, "all his talk is 'cheep.' "
Philadelphia Press.
HE DIDN'T REQUIRE ANY.
Mrs. Mutherly "That young Yale-
vard is far too attentive to you, my
dear. Don't you give him any encour
agement." Miss Mutherly "Mamma, he doesn'"
need any." Albany Journal, f
,
AN IMMUNE.
"Mr. Cadsby never pays the slightest
attention to flattery."
"No," answered Miss Cayenne. Tt
would be impossible to devise . any
form of flattery that would correspond
to-his good opinion of himself." Wash
ington Star.
AT HIS HEELS.
"How is that son of old Milligan's
turning out?"
"Oh, he's following right in his fath
er's footsteps."
"Making lots of money, eh?"
"No. begging for it." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
THE CYNICAL CQDGER.
"Ever notice," asked the Cynical Cod
ger, "how some lazy men. will neglect
their work just to brag about this
country's industries and prosperity?
Reminds nre of a barnyard the hens
laying all the eggs and the rooster
doing nothing but crowing about it.".
SUCCESS IS DIFFERENT.
Polk "When a fellow starts tj cVo
anything he can always succeed if Jne
only sticks to it." - .
Jolk "Not always. How about wlten
you start to remove a sheet of sticky
fly paper that you've sat down on?r
Philadelphia Ledger. I
UNDER DOG SOMETIMES WINS.
"Yes, I think I have him at my merV
cv. He has a few thousand dollars J
and I have-millions."
"Well, why don't you go ahead and
smash him ?"
"I'll tell you. very time I start to
do it I begin thinking of what hap
pened to Russia."
SO NATURAL.
"I dreamed last night, George," said
Mrs. Swellman, ''that I was with a
box party at the opera and- "
"Yes." interrupted her husband, "I
might have known that."
"What! How do you mean?"
"You were talking very loud in yoor
sleep." Philadelphia Press.
WITH A PROVISO.
Customer (handbag over 'the money)
"I want to be sure about it. Can you
guarantee that "this stuff will kill off
the cockroaches?"
Druggist (wrapping up the bottle)
"I guarantee it absolutely, ma'am if
you can get them to take it according
to directions."-Chicago Tribune.
ANOTHER DISAPPOINTED GIRL.
" "You want to marry my daughter,
you say. But I don't recall that she
has ever mentioned you?"
"You surprise me! Isn't your name
Timnions?"
"No." ' i
"Excuse me. I must have got Into
Piain
Deafer. v' :
LARGE OUTLAY
Sixteen Million Dollars "More
For Coast Defences :
FOR RIVERS AND HARBORS
Chief of Engineers MaKenzie's Re-. '
port Makes Estimates, in Addition
to $28,93,434 Already Expended,
For Construction of Sea Coast Foi-
tiflcation.
Washington, Special. Sixteen mil
lion dollars will be necessary to com
plete the engineering Avork "of --fortifi
cations of the sea coast of the United
States under plans of the Endicott
board, according to the report of
Brigadier General Alexander McKen--zie,
chief of engineers. There .has al
ready been appropriated for this pur
pose $28,693,434. Permanent projects
at 31 different points have been
adopted and most of them are well
under way. These points include:
Baltimore, Washington, Hampton
Roads,, entrance to Chespeake Bay at 1
Cape Henry, Cape Fear river, Char
leston, Port Royal, Savannah, St.
John's River, Key West, Tampa Bay,
Pensacola, Mobile, New Orleans and
Galveston.
The defense of the Great Lake and
the St. Lawrence river is under con
sideration. The estimate for the completion of t
these fortifications docs not contem
plate anything more than thee projects
outlined by the Endicott board.
Modern appliances and additional pro
jects which may bs adopted by the
Taft board appointed last summer
and the fortifications of the insular
possessions may increase the esti-
mates1 when additional work is ap
proved by Congress. It is estimated
that $4,263,364 will be required to put
into executfon by the engineer de-'
partment the schemes of the artillery
and signal eorps for control of the sea
coast defenses.
The reconstruction of the works de- .
stroped by the storm og 1900 at Gal
veston is nearly completed, but tle
barracks and quarters and other post
buildings which must be located at
Forts Travis and San Jacinto are ufc
protected, as well as range-finder sta
tions and other engineer accessories.
Work has been, progressing on the
fortifications for the defenses of Ma
nila Bay and Snbig Bay, Philippine
Islands, and at the naval station at'
Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, and for the
purchase of sites for fortifications in
Hawaii. - - -
Nfegotatibns have been continued
for the acquisition of a tract at Mo
bile, Ala., and another near Qharles--ton,
S. C. The total estimate for
fortification works nncter the erigmeer
department for the fiscal year 1907,
amount to $11,424,153, including $1,
433,953 for sea wall defenses at Gal
veston, Tex.
Defenses of insular possessions ;
Sea coast batteries, Manilla, $2,
000,;sea coast batteries,. Subig . Bay,
Phillpine Islands, $500,000; ' harbor
Hawaii, $520,000 ; procurement of
land for sites for defenses of the Ha
waiian Islands, $326,100.
Pi X I Ir 1 1 1 1 1 1. 1 1 1 VT? till I 1VCI auu JJ.U-L ? i
1 LC1LJ1LI UlUMliyULftUMUi XUH
l-.sJsv i2y 5Pi I17'J nnAi.
river 1 commission. No
imrordvements save those
i 1 - ir l
amounts to $17,456,801
l -I VI L I VVil 1111 UAUte V V 1A W-
a , . It An AAA r
1 1 viississiTmi nvrr raimniiss
-- :
ii i n h ftKT.iTTi Arps tot me u
a i v.-
t.i vr. t
Pennsylvania, $lj000,000;
hnvhnr. Ra... $21 0.0 )0: St.. .Io
. ' i r
Florida, $318,350; Black Warrior and
Tombigbee rivers, Ala., $603,466;
Southwest Pass, Mississippi
$500,000 ; South Pass, Mississippi riv
er, $50,000; Bayou Plaquemine, Lou
isiana, $100,000; Galveston harbor,
J'exas, $250,000; Galveston ship chan
nel, Texas, $200,000; Cumberland nv
or' above Nashville, Tenn., $200,000;
Tennessee river, Chattanooga. Tenn.,
. j... 1 t-l A A AAA
to riiverion, Aia., pi-u,wv.
rinns Get Self -Government.
St. Petersburg, By Cable The mani-
festo of Emperor Nicholas granting
the demands of the Finns has been
signed and dispatched to Helsingfors.
It convokes the Diet on Deecmber'20,
abolishes the dictatorship, rescinds
Governor General Bobrokoff 's illegal '
enactments, annuls the manifesto of
February 15th, 1899,. which provided
for common legislation in the empire,
and all the laws since enacted. It
ftnnnntip.es that the extraordinary Diet
now convoked is for Ahe revision of
the Diet's electoral basis.
Powerful Forces to Hold Down Tin-
Helsingfors, Finland, By Cable.--
Three -ttussian -oattresnips, wwx
and 10,000 troops have arrived- here
t. OTrshins are .an-
jhored in the harbor. Batteries have
been placed on two commanding hills
outside the town and the cannon 'in
the Sceabog fortress have been turned;
t against tne ciiy, wmea,aio io -