THE ROANOKE NEWS, THURSDAY OCTOBER 1, 1891. SHE SETTLED HIM. NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. NEW ADVERTISEMENTS. SWEETEST THINGS OF EARTH. "What are the sweetest things of earth Lips that can praise a rival's worth; A fragrant ruse that hides no thora; Riches of gold untouched by scorn; A happy little child asleep; Eyes that can smile though they may weep; A brother's cheer; a father's praise; The minstrelsy of summer days. A heart where never anger burns; A gift that looks for no returns; Wrong's overthrow; pain's swift release Dark footsteps guided into peace. The light of love in lover's eyes; Age that is young as well as wise; An honest baud that needs no ward A life with right in true accord. A hope-bad waxing into joy; A happiness without alloy; A mother's kiss; a baby's mirth These are the sweetest things on earth. Emma C. Dowd, in Ladies Home Journal. A TRANQUIL MAN. BUT UK WANTED TO HAVE A QUIET KEANCE WITH A FRIEND. There was a man walking up and down in front of the l'avonia ferry house at the foot of Chambers street the other day with a parcel in his hand, and after a time a policeman, who thought he might need information, asked him what was wanted. "Look a-there!" replied the man as he opened the parcel and displayed a pair of suspenders which had once been of a sky-blue color, but which had faded out to the hue of a November corn husk. "Well?" queried the officer. "Bought 'em of a young feller right here four weeks ago!" hoarsely whisper ed the victim. "Give him a quarter. He warrented 'em not to run or fade. I want to see that young man for about two minits." "They have faded, I see," observed the ofEcer. "I should remark! I hadn't loaded three loads of hay before they commenced to run, and the red went clear through to my hide! The yonng feller lied deliberately lied, and I want a brief inter view with him!" "I would advise you to be tranquil," said the officer, as he returned the sus penders. "Oh, I am a tranquil man. I'm the tranquilest man in our county. I'm jest as cool and calm as an ox in a fence cor ner. I don't even breathe bard. Haven't seen the young feller around here to-day hev ye?" "No. If you raise a row you will be run in." 'I shan't raise no row. I'll jest go along up the street and look for him. If I find him there won't be no scrimmage. I'll jest walk up to him and sorter reach out, and whoever finds the body will find these suspenders reposin, on his cold and dewy bosom. I'm a tranquil man and very tenderhearted, but I'll jest walk a Ion up tbe street and look for that liar. lie won't holler and he won't suf fer long not more'n fifteen seconds. He headed off up the river, looking very stern and solemn as he dodged among the vehicles, but as no report was made of any one being found dead he probably missed the suspender man "M. Quad" in New York World. LIVED OVEK A CENTUKY. A MAINS WOMAN WHO ATTRIBUTES HER LONGEVITY TO A LACK OF COR SET?. Mrs. Sarah Van Nostrand, who is now entering upon her 104th year, and is still hale and hearty, attributes her long evity and good physical condition to the fact that she never wore a corset. The hale old lady celebrated the anniversary of her 103d birthday the other day at her homo in East Millstone, Me. She was conceded to be one of'the "youngest" in the party, so lively and sociable was she. On that occasion the did not hesi tate to make it known that her disobe dience of fashionable decrees, and espec ially those that ordain the cor jet, was the cause of her hale old age. "If our girls abandon the corset," said she, "they would live longer and be healthier. I always hated corsets and would never wear them." She was married in 1810, and during her fifty-five years of married life she . gave birth to eight children. The old lady says she thinks she will live to see b.3i 125th. "Just as Good," Say some dealers who try to sell as a sub stitute preparation when a customer calls for Hood's Sarsaparilla. Do not allow any such false statements as this induce you to buy what you do not want. Re member that the only reason for making it is that a few eents more profit will be made on the substitute. Insist upon having the best medicine Hood's Sana paillra. V It u peculiar to itself. A FEMININE LESSON THAT A YOCSO HUS BAND WILL ALWAYS RKMEHI1KR. The other evening a fellow was waiting for the suburban gates at the Northwestern depot to open. He was a respectable mar ried man from Irving Park, but he had al ways prided himself on his eye for female beauty. He wouldn't have anything to do with really fast women, and always thought of them with a species of disgust. Hut here, at the side of the baggage room door, was a demure little woman, pretty as a peach and with a form fairly glorious. He had missed his regular train and would have nearly half an hour to wait. At another time he would have gone away and transacted some busines in the nieautime, but here wusun opportunity not often to be met. He would make a "mash." He walked past her two or three times and convinced himself she was willing to pick up a flirtation. As ho walked past her one time his heart gave a great thump, for he thought she came just to the point of speaking to him. Neit time he came along he stopped a trifle behind her, and said, low, so that the baggageman could not hear "Evening, little one." His head was in a whirl. He had insult ed many a woman with his eyes, but here was the first time he had attempted to com plete the outrage. She turned about slow ly, met his eyes without a tremor and waited. He didn't know what to do. The muscles of his face refused to manufacture a smile. He was conscious of a twitching, an embarrassed look, n guilty blush. He struggled a moment under the cool chall enge of that superb being and then he start ed to turn away, for a group of men and women had come clattering and laughing down the iron stairs, and he recognized some Irving Park and Des Plaines peo ple. But he had no time to escape. The pretty girl caught him aod held him and nailed his shame upon him, and she did it without for an instant appear ing anything other than the lady she must have been: "Hereafter when you don't want any thing, don't say anything. Married men sjuictimes think themselves irresistible because they once fooled one good wo man." The chattering, laughing group stopped at the foot of the iron stairway, caught the tableau, almost pitied him in the painful confusion and then permitted him to escape from the depot. He wait ed for the last train home that night and never again attempted to pick np an ac quaintance with a handsome woman. (,'hicaso Herald. There can be no health for either mind or body so long as the blood is vitiated Cleanse the vital enrrent from all impur i'ies by the use of Ayer's Sarsaparilla. This medicine recruits the wasted ener gies, strengthens the nervies, and restores health to the debilitated system. WISH WOK DM. The parlor is the matrimonial market place. Are you a man or woman, or are you a part of the public ? Do not grow old; it is both unnecessary and inexcusable. There is no perfume like a fresh-turned furrow in the spring. The trouble with the crank is that he will turn only one way. The lark rehearses not and men do not catch the secret of his singing. There is more good, common sense in the French duel than in any other kind. Children warm the world; there is a wintry landscape in a graybeard's face. Carving white pine goods boxes with a pocket knife is a profession and not a trade. There are two ways to forge a head , and young men are frequently getting them fixed. He said, "Good-morrow, neighbor," and "I wish you well." And I said, "Canst leud me gold?" And he bade me good bye. Learn your business thoroughly. Keep ut one thing; in nowise change. Always be in haste, but never in a hur ry. Ooserve system in all yoi do and undertake. Labor and pluck are the invincible heroes who wiii nuccesr-; they strike out new paths, ureate, contrive, think, plan, originate, take all legitimate risks, toil to surmount obstacles, push forward and win renown by success. The gloiious galaxy of successful bu.-ioess men and illustrious authors have all been hard workers. Now Try Tula. It will cost you nothing and will surely do you good, if you have a Cough, Cold, or any trouble with Throat, Chest or Lungs. Dr. King's New Discovery for Consumption, Coughs and Colds is guar anteed to givo relief, or money will be paid back. Sufferers from La Grippe found it just the thing and under its use had a speedy and perfect recovery. Try a sample bottle at our expense and learn for yourself jutt how good a thing it is. Trial bottle f'r.eat W. M. Cohen's drug store. Large size 50c. and ? 1 .00. The Surest Remedy For indigestion, costiveness, and sick-headache is Ayer's Pills. The harsh, drastic purgatives, once deemed indispensable to a "thorough cleaning out" of the system, have given place to milder and more skilfully-prepared laxatives. Foremost among these are Ayer's Pilla. Being composed of the essential principles of the most effective cathartics, without calomel or any other injurious drug, no ill effects ever follow their use. For this reason, these Pills are everywhere recommended as the best family medicine. Their sugar-coating makes them easy to take, and preserves their medicinal strength in any climate and for an indefinite length of time. " I was a sufferer, for years, from chronic dyspepsia and liver troubles, ami found no permanent relief until I commenced taking Ayer's Pills. They have ellectcit a complete cure." G. V. Mooney, Walla Walla. W. T. " i was master of a sailing vessel tor a I number of years, and never failed to pro-1 vide a good supply of Ayer's Mils, for t lie 1 use of both officers and men. They are a i safe and reliable cathartic, and always e satisfaction." II. Robinson, 'tl E. Pearl at., j Kair Haven, Conn. Bilious " During several months past I have been subject to attacks of bad headache, without being able to remove the trouble by medical treatment. In looking through Ayer's Al manac I read the statements of persons cured of similar attacks by the use of Ayer's Cathartic rills, and was Induced to give them a trial. They Iiave beneliUsI me so much that I consider it my duty to mention my case to yon for the benefit of others." Mrs. Mary (iuymond, Flint Village, Fall Jtiver, Mass. " I have now used Ayer's Pills la my fami ly for seven or eight years. Whenever I have an attack of headache, to which I am very subject, I take a dose of Ayer's Pills and am always promptly relieved. I find them equally beneficial In colds ; and, in my family, they are used for bilious complaints and other disturbances with such good effect that we rarely, if ever, have to call in a phy sician." II. Voullieme, Hotel Voullieme, Saratoga Springs, X. Y. Ayer's Prep::;:! ty Dl J. C. AYER & CO., Lowell, Mass. 1 WW GARWOOD'S EXTKACT, SALES TRIPLE, VIOLET WATER, WOOD WORTH'S FLORIDA WA TER, AND SACHET POWDER. F -i- P I U f 1 ACCURACY! K a 'A o t I H 9 o en W tf C S o T3 a 3 O 4 93 3 -3 a u O M w IPTJTi - &tag Brand Prepared Paiots. Fure irhite Lead k Linseed oil. I'll sell paints at a very small margin. Woolton's Patent Wire Tobacco Hangers CAN BE USED IN ANY BARN. Wire are movable. Tobaeco can be properly Spaced on Stick and Bulked Down on the Wires when cured. Simplest, Cheapest and Best In tbe Market. PRICKS, when Ch Arrompanle the Orderi 100 Mirk a Complete (7 Wire to Mick) $3.00 1,000 Wlrea(!Mo Sllcka) 4.00 PRICKS ON TIME I 100 Mlrka Complete 3.40 1,000 UlreetNo Mlrka) 4.40 Haeketa, per Vozen. 4.00 Sample stick and Wire for 5 Cent. IfT Treatise on Tobacco Culture and Curing FREE. AGENTS WANTED. TOBACCO MANSER M'F'G CO., apr z am I. J. WATCHMAKER Littleton, Makes aspecialty of repairing fine WATCHES and CLOCKS. Fitting spectacles and eye glasses. W-Cash paid for old gold and silver. In 1RV. by the advice of a friend, I began the use of Ayer's Pills as a remedy for bil iousness, constipation, IiikIi levins, and colds. They served me better than anything I had previously tried, and I have used them in attacks of that sort ever since." II. W. Hersh, Judsonia. Ark. ' For years I have been subject to consti pation and nervous headache, caused by derangement of the liver. After taking vari ous remedies, 1 have become convinced that Ayer's Pills are the best. They have never failed to relieve my Attacks In a short time; and I am sure my system retains its tone longer after the use of these Fills, than has been the case with any other medicine I have ever tried." H. 8. Sledge, Weimar, Texas. " For a long time I was a sufferer from stomach, liver, and kidney troubles, experi encing much difficulty iu digestion, with severe pains in the lumbar regions and other parts of the body. Having tried a variety of remedies, including warm baths, with only temporary relief, about three months ago I began the use of Ayer's Fills, and already my health is so much improved that I gladly testify to the superior merits of this medicine." Manocl Jorge Tereira, Oporto, Portugal. " I have used Ayer's Fills for the past thirty years and consider them an invaluable family medicine. I Know of no better rem edy for liver troubles, and have always found them a prompt cure for dyspepsia." James Quiiiu, W Middle St., Hartford, Conn. Sold b; all Druggists and Dealers in Medicine. New Line of STATIONERYfc- Just Received 150 Linen writing Tablets, which I'll sell at a small PROFIT. o M t-i A u I 0 to K Pi ITlT! A Large Stock of LANDRETH'S GARDEN SEED, Houston, Halifax Co., Va. and JEWELER, North Carolina, A nice line of WATCHES, CLOCKS, AND JEWELRY, Always on hand for sale CHEAP. Wtchts sent me by mail yfi be carefully repair and gordle, promptly returnt JL Acres of 1 Farm Land adopted to the cultiva tion of 00770, veqejubLes JLL Within one mile of the corporate limits of W E L 75 ACRES 4 Good, Ijooie aili 4m ef wtta tad I A Stream of water runs through the V .. in good state Apply to Ed7!D SAj.1i J Valuable 125 TOBACCO, QRASS. JJO KlflOS Of YHUCK. D 0 N . CLE ABED. 4flD Outhouses. land. 1 1 I qt cultivation. WO Real Estate Agent, Whlon, N. C. V.