Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / May 14, 1903, edition 1 / Page 1
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4& A I A. i A Ui Y GlaUBjtlflJBS. In Ctefes ct Ftor cr aero; Yoerfu IS5UBD " DI-tVSD.I f Subscriptions. 653. Ecoh. WW 30.GEUTG fl VEr.r - VOI,, IX. MORAVIAN FALLS, N; C, THURSDAY, MAY. 14, 1903. NO. 10. . . i , v ... a .... , . . : - -. .' . ." ;' . - H',,',1-.. ' s , '' 1 . .! 1 ; ' ' - ' . t ' ' " - - ' ' " , I ... 1 - - Democratic Prauer. Oh Thou Great Spirit of Democracy, thou who used to dwell in Tom Jeffer son when he picked up a! hug gob of social chaos and carved the Democratic party out of it with the traachant point ling down, nearly breaking our necks, this morning, for the purpose of con fessing our political sins. But Glori ous Spirit, we will juat be everlasting ly dad gummed if we know what to it say. We confess that we don't know what to confess. We are in the mid dle of more sorts of a bad fix than we ever have been before in our live. We are afraid to confess that we ever voted for Cleveland because thou knowest that Cleveland j points to thy holy name with pride. We are afraid to domfess that we have hol lered and voted for Bryan for Billy claims closer kinship to thee than Grover. Great Guiding i?ower, if we haint got ourselves into ; the middle of a devil of a -fix we would just like to know the reason. ) Whlat are we to do? How can we get out of this aw- one ful delimma? Canst thou let fall ray of political light to iluminate the dark and crooked places in our thorny pathway? If we have shot too many niggers, told too many lies and stuffed too many ballot boxes to merit thy favor, then what in the name of poli tics are we to do? j We confess that we are just fairly dying to do something and we aint so very particular what it is. Just any- thing for a change. TAnAiiDii Hrtii knowest we hollered and .followed any meat . . Cleveland till there wasn on our political bones, so! to speak, Then thou knowest we ripped around after Bryan and free silver till one could hold us up toward the sun and see the fish worms of political rotton ness wiggling in our inards. We have fought for harmony till there aint nothing to fight ,for r ow but a bad smell. -If we don't need help no body never did. If we don i get some help pretty soon we will never need it, for we are just positively potered politically. We beseech thee, Most Holy Demo cratic Ghost to toss & few jsrumbs of comfort at us. , If thou canst not af ford to shower a very profuse shower of comfort on our heads, then just let slip a small smile that; we may know that thau appro vest pur ways. We want to feel like somebody would smile on us. The radicals have jagged . us with their 1 'We told j you sos' 9 till we don't know straight up any more. 1 . We implore thee to help us to know what we want. We need a leader but we don't know whom to get lead us. We want a leader that can that can get there. We want a leader that iooks liice a democrat to us whether he does or not to other fo ks. We are willing to confess anything if it will get us a leader. ' We are willing to swear that we haint got sense enough to lead a blind goose to water if it will help us on the road to success I 1 anu pie. xnou Knowesi ina jtne aem- ocratic party cant exist, long out of the spirit world without pie. We don't yet want to join the caravan of the de parted but we must confess that we can't stay here long with no pie in our mouths and Teddy Roosevelt Mark Hanna and the whole republican party after us. j Smile on us with a broad cratic smile and tell us what ' Demo- o do to swat these dad gummed radicals. Nerve us up for the fray of 1904: and stand by us in the midst of the battle and all the glory shall be thine, worlds without end. Amen. Col. Bryan's Commoner! is still appeal- mg to the faithful to organize, want to add a word to that solemn - L We note of warniner. Both factions of the De mocracy need organization. Ifjjthe re organizers, straddlers and camp-followers like those who run the campaign in this country last fall,, do not 4rhize, the yellow-legged Populistics "fjill mop up ttie earth with them. On the other hand, if there is not organization on the part or the followers of Bryan jand his 250-dollar heifer, old Orover's gang will A 6 - tune of come marching r along to! the "Four Years More of it,M : d they'll stamp the in'ards out of the slothfnl 16-to-i-ers. Up and at 'em, both ( crowds of you! "Iay en McDuff !' we want to watch this firrht f ousht to a finish. Independent, Weston, Wi Va. I - 1 Our Candidates for President and VIgo in .904. 1 flic FOR PRESIDENT: TH&ODOR& ROOSEVELT. It takes the oar! of honesty to row the ot Plenty I We uesire a few hundred nice clubs I tu x C11UW Jaci uy mc ui issue. Ana Air. Aryan's name was never mentioned at the great political func tion at Saint IOuis. Congressman Richardson, the demo cratic leader has decided to quit politics and statt a Masonic goat ranch. A Kansas community sang "Red, White and Blue" in Russia as the Presi dent's train come to a stop. What has become of Col. Bryan's pre diction that if the republican party was successful corn would go to ten cents a busneir It seems like most of the Bryanite democratic papers ) have decided that the best way to handle the silver ques tion is with silence. 1 Of .course the democrats are sincere but thev are behind the times. Thev act as if they were living way back m the middle of last century. It don't pay to let the democratic party get too gay. The livelier it is the greater stagnation of business; the dead er, the greater prosperity. , Since the President announced that it would be unwise to attempt to revise the tariff before the next election a tariff reform republican is as rare as a 16 to democrat. Mark Hannah says the talk of his be coming" a presidential candidate is all uutfu. xuui yJ uy-ic jjxclx j. ia iui xcuuri first iast and all the time. There are seven hundred dialects spok en by the native coons of South Africa. And yet some scientists are endeavoring to learn monkey language. What the President spared the Missis- sitrDi bears he has given : to the Wall Street bulls by reason of his sincere and honest fight against meretricious trusts Why should not Senator Hanna make a speech in defense 01 laoor unions r wno crave tbat gentleman more help once than the dinnerpail brigade? Who slanders a state those who steal its offices and disfranchise its citizens, or those wno expose con upuwu uu. iui tenness?r Does that hit you? It is suggested that the town of Mars Hill, Me , which is made famous by having five families containing 69 child ren might more fairly be named' Ma's and Pa's Hill. If anybody thinks that the Bryanite wing of democracy could show up any better in running the government than the Cleveland wing did, we would like j for him to explain why he thinks it: if . .i . .i . . ' : : - - . A Southern man wno nas discovered that feeding hens ; with onions flavors their etrrs. -is now., trying the experi ment of feeding them with whiskey and sugar to produce eggnog. u . - EDITORIAL NOTES. ''n;-t'-. ":-.' ? 1 ' : FOR VICE PRESIDENT: JETER 6 PRITGHARD. If you want to start a political circus pdems were in power and times were so 2??'t??-! grC "IS s .f e Ycl;fhard that.Eli Tucker said that he had jtci. xw wiii uotu ieaci ana It will both tickle nearly half a million people. Those democrats who urge the nom ination of W. R.. Hearst and Carter Harrison should 'remember that the United States is bigger than a Chics: or even a New York. ward. Repulicanism is an uuceaaiug warefare for the principles of honest government, You are not a republican unless--you are enlisted in the fizht. WhaUare you doing? There are a great many useless and injurious habits held to by the people; but the worst habit we know of is the habit of just shutting one's eyes and voting the democratic ticket. Her Most says the heads of the lead ing governments of the world are occu pied by idioms. But that is a deuce of a sight better than to fill there places with anarchist. vjcuikio iuuu uaa uchlcu iu ucnu a man suspected of! having set fire to a 7Ztu'r xJrt .J or,E:vvorAa 8ftys mai -v. .,v.k "cg'u kcuib w have been regarded as artinlp rnnfirmn- A , o x tion of the suspicion." The claim of an Anniston, (Ala.) man that he saw the first railway train ever run recalls the somewhat surprising fact that Stephenson's first engine was built considerably less than one hun dred years ago. Just listen at this. The Democratic State Chairman of Missouri says:' 'What ever the Democracy does is wise and good." Gewhiz. That feller could eat a poll cat and never make a face. The kind of government the demo ocrats are giving in every state where they are in the majority is mighty poor argument for a national change to that sort of stuff in 1904. Say! Do you hear? . , If every subscriber to this paper will take his copy of next issue and raise a club we will return the compliment by giving you something richer than you ever saw before. You.ticlcle our back and we will tickle your back. Mr. Bryan thinks it is too bad that the Palmer and Buckner party should be disturbed by the quarrels between Cleve land ana watterson, and suggests a harmony dinner. Now why not Billy get up this harmony dinner? Wouldn't it be nice? In nearly every other paragraph of his paper Col. Bryan urge the boys to organize democratic clubs in every sec- I tio,n f ?J!Z t?A?5",e Te will be thousands of clubs formed. Now to make the iun complete let every reader of the Y. J. make him up a club of subscribers to this paper and go after the dems with something warm. With next itsue of the Yellow Jacket we expect to begin the publication, in a boiled-down form, of all the best pieces of political thunder tht has ever appeared in this paper. It will consist of editorial comments that will apply to the present situation also extracts, etc., Spilkins and all the other correspond- cits of the Y. J. who have hit the bull's Ell Tucaer tne "uevii, xooe eye. In these columns we present our readers with cuts of the men who are our choice for President and Vice-President. They combine the elements of republicanism' that .more forward and An thinrs. Theodore Roosevelt and Tter C Pritchard Vould merit the unit- fionnort of the :'entire republican party, and a large part of the democrat I 6Iub Rates. We will send the Yellow Jacket in clubs of four or more at a time at 25 cents a year. We can't give free copies tor club at this rate. Wish we could. We kindly ask every reader of this copy to take a spin out among your friends and talk and work the Yellow Jacket up a little. Read our personal chill on secona nape ana ler na xr from you with a dub a dozen strong. Now while the band plays "RepubU - canism" let every mother's son of you you Sreta hump on that would. make a camel look like a clothes line. A RETROSPECTION. Years ago, when the circulation of the Yellow Jacket was only a few hun-1 dred we uttered things in a political way that we should like to repeat at the present time to our one hundred and seventy-five thousand readers. What was true of the democratic party then is true now. What was sound republican doctrine then is just as good in this ! year of grace. Furthermore, the peo-! pie then were face to face .with the blunders and mismanagement of de mocracy. Now we propose to gie our readers a panoramic view of the sayings of this "southern butterfly" when the but one pair of britches to his name and 1 they had patches on the gable ends of ' them that were a digrace to the very ! devil. So if you want all your neigh bors Converted and the whole thing made unanamous for the republican par ty in 1904 then all we ask you to do is to see aDout for of your neighbors and! get us a club of one dollar in subscrip - tiotii. TTnrrv nr. nnw ,Wf miM 2 r , , . make the fur fly in next issue. . It begins to look like the republican party would come into power in Mis souri. In less time than a year fifteen high democratic officials have been convicted and will get terms in the penitentiary. If this thing keeps up long there wont be any democratic party left in that state. Col. Wm. J. .Bryan remarked in his I riri ic -oHrl onnnorh frr all wir want tr come in That's what's the matter. The party has been in bed too long. Get jout, ruD up your eyes ana see where I (tA a i.i 4. - i YUUUC Ul KUU. U1CU tci, UUIUU uu and ixot UD tell vou eet in shoutine dis- tance of Republican progress and con fess that you have been in a Rip Van Winkle slumber. Here is a puzzle that puzzles every body: Take the number of your living brothers, double the amount, add to it three multiply by five, add to it the number of living sisters, multiply the re sult by ten, add the number of deaths of j brothers and sisters and subtract 150 from the result. The right hand figure will be the number of deaths, the mid dle will be the number of living sisters, and the left will show the number of liv ing brothers. Try it and see. In a speech at Kansas City the other day William Jennings Bryan warned democrats against making their party too much like the republican party. Just hold your skillet, Billy. You needn't be afraid of anything like that, being done. It's too big a job to contemplate.' The idea of making the democratic party look like the republican party is a task that would 8tafirger the skill of gods much less men. You might inst as well try to make a coronation out of a bull nettle, or a honey bee out of a dog louse. A donkey stepped into a store and the proprieter approached the beast and asked, "What are you doing here? You know this is no place for a donkey. "I t rlie donkey, "because II am here said the donkey, "because I M r adr-crtl anient on the fence that surrounds my pasture: I know you, too, J must be a donkey or you would place your advertisements in a paper wnere it I would be read by peeple, not donkeys.) td bv -neeDle. not Beinr lonesome today I thought I would be neighborly call." and make a fraternal We notice that some of the democrat- ic papers are disposea 10 naicme uae President lor ms very senuDie state ment that the "trusts should be delt with cautiously.,' You see it is out of 1 the question for a democratic pencil ; pusher to think of doing things can-. tiously sinceBry an put his hoodoo 03 the party. When a democrat takes : on a notion to do something he goes at it heels over head, with no more regard I for preperation or method than a blind calf trying to excape a cyclone. Take the msaagement of the government,! for instance. I "Y are dving" said the doctor to the country editor as he lay on his . death l fte lon-r wearv years of teiL "And do you think J am goic5?'.' said; the edl-l tor. 'ea i am sure,", said the; doctor. The dying editor tarn ed his head looked atnim who had come to ti -1 out his last will, said: "And you thinl I am dying?" "Yes I kaowit," id Lawyer. The dying editor then said tc the doctor, "How much do I owe yon?" "About $100," said the doctor The edi tor then turned to the lwyer, Howxnnd. do I owe you?,, About S100 " said the I 5r who had spent aut three hour i n . n ' '- I editor "wont you please Jcneel cn 1 eacn i2eof me while I breathe ray last?" I Wfl7 ao JM majce sucu a requesir the lawyer and doctor asked simultan eously. "Well" said the editor, "It will be a great satisfaction to die as my Savior did between two thieves." The doc tor and lawyer fainted and the editor got well. Ex. It seems to me that things are up side down in many ways. Insta&d or being born a baby a man ought to be born old so he'd know enough to start life right. By the time he had accumulated a fortune he would be young and foolish enough to have some fun out of it. Then he'd get married and if there were any chil dren they'd be old enough to care for themselves. No bother at all to par ents you see. At the ripe old age of one day he'd quietly cash in of cholera infantum and the funeral ex penses would be a mere trifle. But that wasn't what I was thinking of at first. . It was marriage. We get hock ed up in the holy bonds ef wedlock in about five minutes and then spend weeks trying to show that the referee ought to step in and separata us. If two people want to take a chance at running in double harness . the court should be notified at the start. Then let each side summons witnesses to tell all they know about the princi pals. Itwouldsavea lot of trouble if Harold could know in advance that l Caroline was in the habit of throwing I flatirons when offended end for Caro- I lino to know that Harold earned $12 a week instead of $50. If it looks like a poor proposition let the courts divorce them before they are married and save a scandal. We often wonder why it is that men have not sense enough when they have got enough enough property and money. There are men by the hundred in the country at fifty to sixty years of age worth from $15,000 to $50,000, owners of the best farms in the world, working and slaving year in'and year out to make more money and buy more land when the very beat they can make of the job is tenyears or so of fret and worry, then a funeral and the pro bating of a will and a scattering of their hard earnings. While every man should earnestly and industrious ly try to proveide for his family when he is gone, there is little sense in car rying the effort to the point which these men do. Nine boys out of ten will make better men and citizens to have to hoe their own row instead of getting the notion that they can loaf around till dad dies. You man and woman of sixty, just plan your busi ness so as to get just as much comfort as posible out of your money, for you 'ain't got long to stay here," and no amount of money will buy back youth, and health and strength. Ex. . A boy who had read the story oT George Washington and the hatchet, cherished an ambition to imitate the. Father of His Country, and, taking J an ax one day cut down a choice pear - tree which had cost his father $2.50 when it was a yearlinar. When the old man got onto the fact that the, tree was chopped down just as it was. getting ready to bear, he was toler ably warm, and said: "I wonder if- this is some of that kid's work? If it; warm m UP im 110 WIU standing for a week." Then, the man sought out the lad and asked ho aw who cn down that tree. He expected to betray the boy Into a oonfession, but the boy had made some observations himself, and answered: 'I think, dad, that you know mora than any other man in the country and I have heard you say that when one isn't sure what is the best thing to say he had better keep his mouth shut. This trcs question ia one about which I don't care to ex press my opinion." "My son," said the old man, as he clasped the boy to his arms, "If you will ctick to that rule all your life you will ; be the greatest politician that ever came down the pike." Judging from the opinion of Colon el Watterson and Cleveland and oth ers, the' regrp raco m&do the mistsko of italif in over ccruls-to Arrsrtc .JTbeT New Tork Mail tad Express. Acsrica. C 'in
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
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May 14, 1903, edition 1
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