North Carolina Newspapers

. I; - - r : i . J CLtJB RATES. ; tin Clubs of Four or More. Yearly ISSUED BI-WEEKLY, K X- SINGLE SUBSCRIPTION v 30 CENTS A YEAR. MORAVIAN FALLS, N. C, THURSDAY, DECEMBER 22. 1904. NO. 1 1 1 1 1 1 i 1 1 1 ir- til 1 1 1 1 11 1 "if 1 1 w - . 1 - -i 1 1 1 r 1 1 f - i - : : r : ; ; ; - ; manorial ivotes. 1 ? yrWi i 1 1 11 -z 1 1 1 1 : -a 1 11 1 A JL A jolly big old Christmas to boys! !' And then all aboard for the Hap py New Year I . v' How about those resolutions? Got them written yet? It is no longer fashionable to name voung Democrats Parker. - m " I ra a JJemocrat means means oh, well, it don't mean much of any thing now. Democratic statesmanship has gone to seed and the seed has become flab bergasted. 3. . 4. If the Democratic party had more will nower and less wind power it might show up to a better advantage. V K J j "Frenzied Finance" Lawson is go ing to start a paper. Land sakes, bat we would hate to be in Rockefelle 's socks after this. i j 3 j I Mrs. Chadwick seems to have be m taking a few lessons from Tom La v- son's text-book on "Frenzied nance." I A man in North Carolina has lat invented a perpetual motion machine, and he has named it Parker, because, as he says, " it don't run wuth a cusi:" r - i- We would like to know who is the leader of the so-called Democratic party. It's a cinch that Parker or I3ryan can't qualify. . ' J- . The claim of the Democrats t they will yet be able to winjanot national victory would be funny i were not so pitiful. - ' '. ' hat her it The Republican party will be judg ed bv what it does and not by what the nervous-minded hinkey-dinkeys are afraid it will do. -. r The Elephant is going right ahead with Uncle Sams businessman un mindful of the Democratic flies that swarm around its head. j If the daily newspapers I realized how little of that Chadwick stuff is being: read by the people they wouldn't print so much of it. Maybrick, Patterson,, Chadwick these three, and the greatest) of these (from the gossiper's point of viejw), is Chadwick. Hereafter there will not be any stampede among judges of! supreme courts to become candidates for Presi dent especially on the Democratic side. The two biggest Democrats in this country at present are Toe Folk and W. L. Douglas. They are the only ones who captured anything worth cackling over in the late election. 1 Thomas A. Edison announces that his erreatest invention is vet td-be given to the world. Zounds 1 What are we to look for next? Guess it will be a vest-pocket flying machine. Brvan's recent assertion that the Democrats did not vote forj'Iark er " seems strangely out of place, people had found it out before he them. i " rrhe told In making- out your list of New lear resolutions be sure to include this one: " I resolve to never votd the uemocratic ticket so long as,l ara per- mited to live." j Mr. Bryan is making . a careful search among the tall grass, anI he still announces his intention of re organizing the Democratic j party, as soon as he can find it. I i . - - j -It has got to be the custom , for every Democrat who tries politics and fails, to start a newspaper.- Wonder if Judge Parker has yet put in I his order for a Washington hand press? . r The only trust that he Democrats ever busted was the trust Which some people formerly placed in them as a party. They have busted that all to flinderations, sure. - ' ' t' Andrew Carnegie was recently sum- moncd to Cleveland, Ohio,; to appear before the federal grand jury 1 Chadwick case. He , was Tp aid cents a mile for his trip and. $ day while before the grand Gee-whittaker! But don't you ine such princely wages as 1 that little Andy's eyes twinkle? : h the ! five 5o a jury. mag.- biadc F - U r can't sometimes always, exact ly estimate a Congressman's legisla tive ability by the size of the bouquet he gets on the opening day of the ses sion. - ; - : v ' .' Who knows but what the City of Boston invented Tom Lawson for the purpose of trying to regain some of her lost prestige as the Literary Em porium of America? The Reed Smoot investigation in the Senate is again in full, swing, and it is now in order for the newspapers to resurrect their old baldjheaded jokes about he Mormons. m ; 4 .From a Democratic standpoint, the greatest piece of literature; ever writ ten in the English language-is Presi dent Roosevelt's' statement that he will not be a candidate in 1908.! J. The supply of natural gas is said to be running out in some sections. What a pity we didn't -store away some of that Democratic, gas which was so lavishly " expended during the cam paignt : . ; The Democratic papers 'are asking us to name one trust that he Republi cans ever busted. , That's easy! There's Grover's Free Soup Trust which the Republicans busted, for one. And there are others. The Democrat who first suggested Parker as a presidential candidate is probably ' thinking what the boy thought about the boil on his neck: " It's a big thing, but nothing to be so darned proud of." j i l t The Yellow Jacket is in favor of re ducing the tariff on soap. It will be necessary to import large quantities of . that article, since there ! is not enough manufactured in this country to clean the Democratic party. judge Parker should have known better than to try and make a Demo cratic bath tub of the Hudson River. The people of New York State resent ed the affront placed upon their his toric old creek. . . 4 4 i Now that dirt is flying on the Pana ma Canal Judge Parker ought to feel good. So far as. anybody knows this is about "the only Republican measure that the Judge had the backbone to advocate. . " I ; Grover Cleveland continues to be "Monarch of all he surveys" so-far as Democratic victory is concerned. He Is still the only Democrat who has been elected to the Jresidency in tne last fifty years. 8 V I Ve continue to see in the papers of the country an occasional reference to "the National Democracy." Seems to us that it's high time to call a halt on such talk as that If there is any " National Democracy " now it has a devilish slick way of keeping itself hid. . . - v ; One of the candidates for the U. S. Senate, to succeed Senator Cockrill, of Missouri, is a man named Thomas K. Neidringhaus. The man may be all right, but it is to be hoped that Missouri can furnish a man with a civilized name. . ; . We see it stated that Tom Taggart has become an editor, j Let's see; there's Bryan, Hearst and Watson (he's also a Democratis editor, now), and then here comes Taggart to join in with them. What a jolly four-horse team they will make! ; . " In making up the records of the closing year it does not look as if the fall of Port Arthur could be included," says the Washington Star. Why not, please? "Hasn't Port . Arthur fallen about' every twenty-four hours during the -past year? ' . And now our dictionary writers will have to revise the old book so as to make it include " zemstro " and " jiu Jitsu." Really, it isn't treating us poor ignoramouses right to bring, so many big words across the pomL all at one time..- ; f "Dr. Tarkhurst is pleased with the recent election," says an exchange. Well, it's a wonder. To paraphrase Vardaman's language, " It is of course gratifying. to the American people to know that they have done one thing which Dr. Parkhurst approves of. Four years ago Grover Cleveland told the Democrats that they, could never succeed by pointing to the misr takes of their opponentsthat they would have to do something to show themselves worthy of power. It vas the truth, even if Grover did say it, an d i t remains the truth till this goo d day. . . 1 . ' ' - ' You Here is a Tail Holt jarid a Down-Hill Pull This offer is made to every reader of the Yellow Jacket throughout the land, or at least, to every one who has any interest in the expansion and success of the paper. If you are anxious to see the Yellow Jacket shed more red-hot political light than ever, and become a greater dust raiser in the political world, then you are the very one we are after, and we are going to ask you to spread yourself for us a little bit; then we are go ing to pay you for it. It is. our desire to make the Yellow Jacket bigger, and better. The paper. is not hot enough to suit us, nor half big enough to hold what we want to say. We could fill eight pages brim full of political gospel every issue, and then be popping full of stings and things to hurl at our political enemy.. So if EVERY REPUBLICAN ON OUR LIST, NOT PART OF THEM, will accept the following offer and carry it out within thirty days, ve promise to permanently enlarge the Yellow Jacket to eight pages every issue after the first of February, and fill it chuck full thereafter with the very best reading matter that he editor, Eli Tucker, Willie Winkle and Tobe Spilkins can : grind out of their shops. Here is the offer: Get out among your neighbors and friends during the holidays and secure six subscribers to the Yellow Jacket, at 25 cents each, making $1.50 in all. Then send us one dollar of this amount by M. O., check or in currency (stamps not taken), and put the remainder in your pocket to pay you for your trouble. ; v Understand that one dollar pays for the club of six for a whole year. This is the lowest coffer we have ever made for the Yellow Jacket. Think of it. The chance of an eight-page, red-hot political skinning machine every otheryweek for a vvhole year for only sixteen and two-third cents. Remember this rate of sixteen "and two -third cents will not apply on a club smaller than six. If you want to make it larger you can do so at the rate of sixteen and two-third cents per subscription. We make this offer only for a limited time. But it will hold good long enough to give .every reader of this paper a chance to get up a club of six or more, and we are asking everyone to do so. We want to sTe a club'or two come from every post office in the United States where we have a subscriber. Let everybody take off a couple - of hours for a club hunt and watch 'the Yellow Jacket's wings grew as a con sequence, triends, go to work, and at once. Address TOIL YELLOW JAG Moravian , We are advocating the gold-standard just as strongly as we. ever did, but it- wilh not-make'tfSRad' tqf rceeive the subscriptions of your friends ac companied by the requisite amount in silver. Keep this under your lid where you will remember it.. In 1892 James B. Weaver, of Iowa, was the Populist candidate for the Presidency and received 22 electoral votes. In the recent election Tom Watson, the Populist candidate, got none. If Tom's party keeps on grow ing at that rate, when will he be Presi dent? 3 S "3 Some few Democrats come over to the Republicans because they wanted to be on the big side, but most of Ihose who came over did so oecause tey wanted to be on the right side. a glorious privilege mat a man hjjs when he can be on the big side ai the right side both. ; i n' TUrt- ; nn oM saw that runs: T iahtninrr never strikes twice in the Rrvan savs the man that inaugurated that remark is a monu mental liar, as he was hit twice, and on both occasions it was tne nrbi Tuesday after the first Monday in November. . . 4 ; If the Democratic politicians are capable of learning anything from experience they have doubtless got it soaked into their noggins by this tmu that it is easier for a party to turn it self upside down or inside out than tr persuade the people to place two pen nyweights of faith in monej standard contradictions. ' ! .- v-.. .. . Hurrah for that postal card canvass. In New York City Parker's phirality was" only 34,666. Perhaps in the course of four or five hundred years those energetic Democratic newspa pers will- have sufficiently grown in accuracy that their postal card can vass will come within j one hundred thousand of the mark. ; If we. were the Democrats we would not think much about 1908 just yet. It will be hard enough on them when it comes, without suffering the mental torture for the next four years. In stead of thinking about the-next elec tion the Democrats ought to think about death, or some other cheerful subject. t Speaking of that portion of the President's message which relates to the. army and navy, certain papers have said that it was an effort to har monize cannons and ethics. CAnd what if it is? Reasonably it should not be any more difficult to " harmonize can nons and ctliics " now-than .it was a century ago." George Washington coii nnp rf hFs messages:to Con gress that the , surest way & keep peace is to be always reaay i.urf wi That is the whole meaning of Roose velt's policy and recommendation to the army and navy. . . . H 0 111 M for You. you will hear from this end 01 the line Palls, N. C. Be Yellow Jacket for 1905. As our eaders well know, the Yel low Jacket, for the past four months, has not been up to its usual standard in the way of readiner matter. This is due- to the fact that the editor has been looking after the enlargement of the-Yellow Jacket plants-arid' the erec tion of new machinery. More new DUiraings containing upwards 01 one thousand" ve hundred feet of floor space have been added since Septem ber, steam power . and heating facili ties put in, and a large Hoe perfect ing press and stereotyping plant se- up and put, in readiness. We hav personally superintended this entir job, and it is needless to say that -we have been too tired to write much in the meantime. But thank goodness we have at last got this heavy, tiresome job completed. .We are now able to take a few days- rest and then settle down to our desk once more in earn est. Beginning with the New Year it is our purpose to fill the Yellow Jacket so full of stings and hot things that every issue will be a-political camp meeting within itself. Don't imagine., for a blessed minute that because the nation went worlds without end for Roosevelt" that there is nothing left for the Yellow Jacket to tackle. Democratic devilment and jassackery . are by no means eradi cated from! the body politic Why, whole counties of devil-raismg Demo crats in Missouri, have threatened to t-ecede from that State because it went Republican this year. We will give von a full write-up of. those fellows in the near future. And there are others. Besides all over the land cm be found little scrubby-tailed Demo cratic politicians - and editors .who are everlastingly rearing up on their hind feet and squirting some slanderous word at our President or other per- sonaere of high character and integ rity. The Yellow Jacket will give these bucks such a touchmg-up as thev deserve. " Eli Tucker," who has lseben a writer on the Yellow Jacket sce its beginning, '.'will fall into the k at once with all his old time vicrhr. iis letters to uryau aim 1 - keiT will ano ear shortly, and Willie 1 - . . t t. 1 kle s essay mm will dc snarpeucu titf ana ser to grmumK. nuuiuw itai- e of the Yellow Jacket, wnich we de- ire to imnrove for ioo. is the Let ters from the People" department. We will give more space to this de d shall be el ad to have good, short political letters irom ui our readers. Jn anticipation of these iTon'mic imnmvements. and as ? a re ward for the hard work we have -done during the past few. months in getting ready to make a better and larger Yel low Jacket, we hope each and all of our subscribers will; set to work for a few hours during the holidays and send us clubs in accordance with oar special offer elsewhere. We hope you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. 7 '.. .' 7:-Jry.::si H.ET, This country might just as well try to pull up . in a bulk and emigrate to the moon as to try to get through a session of Congress without listening to a whole. raft of " tariff reform" rol "The Mournful Number," is the ti tle of an article in one , of the current magazines. We hate to keep casting up, but we would give something to know what Democrat the writer was thinking of when he headed this arti cle. - V " The gold standard is irrev3 established." If Parker had also sail he believed in Protection to American Industries and fully endorsed the Re publican platform it's dollars to doughnuts he would not-have carried a State. The Democratic party has flim-flammed the public so much that ho one pays any serious attention to anything they say. The dying of the Democratic party reminds us of the man that was hung with-a rubber hose instead of a rope; .by jumping up and own he managed to corral air enough to postpone the inquest for quite a while. But he wa3 not fool enough to yell between jumps "tariff reform," "imperialism," "Big Stick," and hasten his doom, as the Dems. are doing. S S & ' " It's mighty poor business to advo cate the cause of hypocraoy or wrong under any circumstances, but it is still worse business to do it seriously. Take Bryan's advocacy of Parker for an example. Nebraska's rebuke for the Colonel's seriousness in advocat ing Judge Parker was a plurality of 68,000 for the Republican national ticket. But experience teaches a dear school, you know. ; . ' y 4 " The Democrats have been bringing the charge against President Roosevelt that he is a sort of Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Hyde combination that there are two Roosevelts, the one a man of high ideas and lofty sentiments, and the oher a man of low practices, willing to sacrifice everything for office and--power. Well, of course it is reasona ble for them to think: that there are two of him, because it is hard for them to comprehend how any one man could have whipped them as bad as he did. " I have been stealing elections from the Republicans of St, Louis for thirty years," says Ed.- Butler, the famous Missouri Democrat. This is the same man on whom Democratic papers pour out column aftercolumn' of praise as a great champion of Democracy and honesty- But where is the paper that will quote this old devil in his latest "give out?" We would just like to see the color of its hair. Furthermore we should like to know who is going to deny Butler's assertion. Nobody has yet. . '. v s iThere is more peace in a lot of big guns well mounted than there is in a thousand peace sermons from a lot of cowardly, whining Democratic anti-everythings,-who pretend to see noth ing but a "big stick" in every move or recommendation that the President makes While this administration re mains in power" there will be no crip pling of the army and navy, and the skedaddlers and squirrel-tailed editors might as well put "that in their corn cob pipes and smoke it. - . Tom .Lawson, of " Frenzied Fi nance" fame, is-one of the most pic turesque characters now before the American public. He has made and lost at least a dozen great fortunes in the last twenty-five years. The los ing of a million dollars effects him no more than the losing of five cents, and he generally makes his million back about as easily as he lost it. We don't know of anybody better quali fied to give the country some pointers on " Frenzied Finance" than Tono. Lawson. 4. A Just now the bears seem to be on top in the cotton market, and the Democrats, of coarse, are laying it to President Roosevelt s message to Ccnsrre'ss, etc. But the truth of the mater is, that the President's mes sage had no more to do with the re cent slump in the price of cotton than the bull-frogs in "Lake. Michigan had to do with Queen Victoria's Jubilee. The slump was caused partly by the report of the Secretary of Agriculture which report stated that tne crops would ' exceed twelve million bales much larger than anybody expected and partly by Wall Street's disposi tion to take a duck fit every now an- then. - ':" I '" - :-: 71 .". . r