II
( CLUB RATES. ;
In Clubs of Four or More, Yearly
' Subscriptions, 25 Cts. Each.. g
- :
? ISSUED BI-WEEKLY, -I
J SINGLE SUBSCRIPTIOIIC g
30 CENTS A YEAR.
C I RCULATI O N ,
vol. xi.
MORAVIAN FAISN. C, THURSDAY, JANUARY 5 ; 1905.
NO. 1.
" 125 i-o 00.
! v 1 ! Jt-
' Isn't it about time we had the afncial
report of Dave Hill's retirement from
politics? ; ' I ". :
-. t- - ;;
If a horse ever laughs it must be
when he hears a Democrat advoca :ing
honest elections.
S v
Any sort of a fool can ask political
questions, but it requires a statesman
to solve them. - - - . . - :
2 - ''' i 0."
Trosperity is the, sharpest and most
annoying cuckle burr that the Demo
cratic donkey ever had; under its tail.
During Christmas times the South
had two strong Clauses on its he nds
qnri Clause and the erandfa :her
CI f C C
The only use which this country
now has for the Democratic partKr is
to help keep the Republican; party in
power. " I
Senator Gorman is letting' other peo
ple do all the talking about 190S. But
nf'rnnrse he exoects to be mentioned
as usual. '-"-
As we have often stated, one of the
beauties of being a Democratxis the
privilege of voting for what you don't
v Si! L. ; -
TItp Inu-est ffrade of Republican
politics begins right where ?he high
est pinnacle of Democratic statesman
ship stops off. j
j : ;
A person who understands ha
fa
keep silent" "in all qf them, migh : be
considered well educated. "I
: ;.(.;. j,.
The American hen lays- eggs' enc ugh
in a year to pay the interest on the
national debt for that, length-of time,
according to the latest cackle-atidn.
4 S :
The Republican party is now
position- where it will have to
drive the "wagon and put j on
in a
both
the
brakes. But it is fully able to do both
2 '4
The result of last November com
Dels the Democrats to resume
liunt for an issue. The 'one they
UnrrU tiipv h rl thev. haven't erot
S 2
' Wililam Jennings wants the 4am-
naiii of 1008 to begin at once.
All
rieht. So far as the Yellow. Jack
t is
concerned it has begun '110 wi -
: j .
This issue of the Yellow Jacket
be read by not less than seven
wilL
lun-
dred thousand people. Expanding!
.Well, we should snigger, !
You can make" a broad smile -play
across the faceof the-Yellow Jacket
man by inducing all your friendb to
besin taking the paper with this issue.
A fellow who can't see that Rebub-
licanism beats Democracy ai ho
in running the government Jasn't
low
got
rat
sense enough to pound sand in a
hole. : ..'
. ' 1
i
Speaking of ex-Democratic, lehder
Hill and his trip to " Yourope " vpuld
it not be mnre aoorooriate for hini to
-JT.T , j I.
buy a hand-press and start fa paper r
They all do that.
An exchange asks how many sjdes
nas Democracy? There "are ; just
two,
Buddy. There, is the pie side for
the
politicians and the sogup side for
the
sucKers. Sonny, where are you
5 5
at?"
Let us hope that Dave Hill will Stay
m iuirooe when he frets there. Let us
hope that he will fall in with Dick'
Croker, Bill Astor and that gang,
forget to come back. ' ; j :
Of cotir.? ' tht "nmnr-f q en'ti
and
call
th
- - e
rsts, and imperialists but the pepple
oon't care a tinker's dam what it is
culled so long as they are get titijbet
ter an(l better off in everv sense or the
:vvord tban they were under a Demo-
Have you got up that club for the
Yellow Jacket under our special offer?
Wc are looking for it every day. - -
If you feel like you wanted to say
something about things' political,
write a short letter to the Yellow
Jacket. - ' -' ' :
. It is but natural for our Democrat
ic friends to "grumble at the cost of
living, but they, should stop grumbling
long enough: to consider that it is
worth something to be alive these
times.
5 5
" The best way to reform the Demo
cratic party would be to bury it," savs
an exchange. That being the case,
the old thing got a pretty good chunk
of " reform " administered to it last
November.
Judge Parker is now doing business
in his new law office in Gotham, but
it is hardly to be expected that he will
offer any expert legal advice as to the
re-organization : of the Democratic
I party. . V :
It was no doubt a relief to Judge
Parker to be able to celebrate Christ
mas iir a quiet, old-fashioned, way
without being disturbed by the crowds
of admirer- who used to haunt his
dwelling place. j' ,
2 2 4 'P
Just for the fun of the thing ask
your neighbor why he is a Democrat.
If he don't get too mad to say any
thing, like as not he will out with the
truth and tell you he was just born
that way and he can't help it.
, ' 1 1 :i y.:
'Every few weeks ve notice in the
papers that some enterprising citizen
has invented or discovered a new fuel.
But it appears that .nothing yet put
upon the market is able to get up any
head of steam in the old Democratic
locomotive. ' ! -
4 4 4 "'!.:.":"
-Wouldn't it be wonderful though,
if these Democratic i snoligosters
would have half, as much respect for
the Constitution here in the Southern
States as. they pretend to have in the
Philippine Islands?
Ever since "perpetual- debt" and
" Democratic 'administration " "have
come 'to mean so near the same thing,
it will be noticed that the people are
not rallying around Democracy to any
great extent.
5
It is but natural that the Democrats
should vote against the proposed in
crease of salary: for the President
and Vice-President. They realize that
no member of their party would ever
get the ' benefit of the increase, and
therefore they oppose it.
Mr. Democrat, if your boys display
the least bit of inclination to affiliate
with the Republican party,! for good
ness sake let him go. Don't you be
lieve that, " my daddy was a Demo
crat " is disgrace enough for one
family?' " :" i - -
The Republicans propose; a treat
ment for the trusts that will cure
them; the Democrats pretend that
they want to administer a drug that
will kill them. The returns of the
November election indicate that the
people prefer the curing treatment to
the killing method. .
. 4
Since the: introduction' of the South
American ant seems to have been a
failure in spreading desolation among
the boll Weevil, , we suggest as a sure
method of rendering them ineffective,
that - some 'genius i induces the little
pests i to adopt he cigarette habit, or
join the Democratic party. ; ;
;
Science has " lately made the discov
ery that a warm climate breeds craf
tiness and brutality in man," and that
the warmer the climate the more . des
perately wicked the 'people become.
Thar now.'we can begin to see .wny so
many of the . Southern people are
Democrats. It is simply ? a disease
caused bv the condition of , the atmos
phere, and the poor victims cah't help
if )sav. let's cet up a summer excur-'
sjon party and let all our democratic
friends soend next summer . at the
North Pole. Maybe, that would eure
them. - -; ' '
IJS
Sii in it
Here is a Tail Holt and a Down-Hill JPuIl
, This offer is made to every reader of the Yellow Jacket throughout the
land, or at least, to every one who has any interest in the expansion and
success of the paper. If you are anxious to see the Yellow Jacket shed
more red-hot political light than ever, and become a greater dust raiser
in the political world, then you are the very one we are after, and we
are .going to ask you to spread yourself for us a little bit; then we are go
ing to pay you for it. : It is our desire to make the Yellow Jacket bigger
and better. The paper is not hot enough to suit us, nor lialf big enough to
hold what we want to say. We could fill eight pages brim full of political
gospel. every issue, and then.be popping full of stings and things to hurl
at our political enemy.. So if EVERY REPUBLICAN ON OUR LIST,
not a part of them, will accept the following offer and carry it out
within the next thirty days, we promise to then enlarge the Yellow
Jacket and improve it in many ways, and fill it brimming full
thereafter with the very best reading matter that he editor, Eli Tucker,
Willie Winkle and-Tobe Spilkins can grind out of their shops. Here is the
offer. Take a spin out among your neighbors and friends and see if you can
secure six subscribers to the Yellow Jacket, at 25 cents each, making $1.50
hv all. Then send us one dollar of this amount by M. O., check or in
currency (stamps not taken), and put the remainder in your pocket to pay
you for your trouble.
Understand that one dollar pays for the club of six for a whole year.
This is the lowest offer we have ever made for the Yellow Jacket. Think
of it. The chance of an eight-page, red-hot political skinning machine
every other week for a whole year for only sixteen and two-third cents.
Remember this rate of sixteen and two -third cents will not apply on a club
smaller than six. If you want to make it larger you can do so "at the rate
of sixteen and two-third cents per subscription.
We make this offer only for a limited time. But it will hold good long
enough to give every reader of this paper a chance to get up a club of six
or more, and we are asking everyone to do "so.
We want to see a'club or two come from every post office in the United
States where we have a subscriber. Let everybody take oft a couple of
hours for a club hunt and watch the Yellow Jacket's wings grow as a con
sequence. Friends, go to work, and ypu will hear from this end of the line
at once. Address
rTJiJp YELLOW JAG
Moravian Falls, N. C.
Not until the new Congress meets
next winter will the country realize
quite fully the: magnitude of the re
cent victory. Speaker Cannon will
then have the honor of: holding the
lines over the largest '-team 'of Repub
lican Legislators that ever traveled that
old road, while Leader -Wi?liams will
be standing over in, an opposite cor
ner with the empty bridle hanging on
his arm and no team at all. '
" Leaking gas," says the Common
er, " has caused a terrible explosion
in Cleveland, Ohio," and then it goes
Ion to say that " experience has doubt
less taught the people of Washington,
D. C, to be very careful when Con
gress is in session." Wrong again,
Bi.. Since the Democratic poIUi-
cians haye been leaking so much gas
all over the country, during the past
eight or ten years, the people don't
pay any attention to a little leak like
that at Washington. : ;
If Mr. Nikola Tesla, the electrical
expert, accomplishes "the half of what
he has promised, it won't be five years
before the old backwood's farmers
will be stacking their fodder and dig
ging 'their potatoes by an electric cur
rent sent from Niagara -Falls.. without
a wire. r And the strangest part of it
all is that Tesla has come . pretty near
living up to iis promises in the past,
and he may do it again. There is no
use to say what may not be done in
these days of electricity and 'William
J. Bryan. v ;
v $ . - "
The Republican party, has been in
power in this country almost continu
ously for nigh" onto fifty years. Dur
ing that time it may have made al few
little mistakes. Not to Tiaye done so
would have argued it a power greater
than the power of mortal men. On
two occasions since the Civil War the
people; have fancied themselves dis
satisfied with the Republican party,
and have given it a black; eye; But
they were willing enough to give it
the glad Hand of welcome " once more
of etty' soon again," as tne ljuicnmau
would say. Taking it all in an, tne
maiority has befen -with us, is with us
still,-and is likely, to remain with us
for an indefinite period to come,
Yet
olio
We believe that every subscriber
of the Yellow Jacket has one or more
Republican neighbors who don't take
this paper. Now, if you want to see
the Yejlow Jacket cover the country
like a blanket then get out and enroll
these friends on a club list.
i 4 2 4 .
Now, people, keep your best ear to
the ground. Things are likely to hap
pen with great rapidity before many
days. Col. Henry Watterson is- in
Europe and Col. Dave Hill is going
over there right straight away, and it
is expected that they will call a meet
ing of two leading Democrats in Paris
one of these days and decide the fu
ture of Miss Democracy.
J .
The Cincinnati Enquirer has pulled
off its crupper and doesn't propose to
be a holding-back force for Democra
cy any longer. In its new declaration
of principles it says: "No more Bry
an leadership, no more dilution of
Democracy with Populism, repudia
tion and heresy; no more restraint on
the flight of the American Eagle, and
no more tugging at the holding-back
strap." It is plain as anything, that,
unless the Democracy: returns to its
senses and goes to work as a build
ing, expanding, progressive factor in
the affairs of the country, the Cincin
nati Enquirer will be in the Republi
can party by 1908 if nosooner.
5 - : '
The Commoner says that Folk was
elected Governor of Missouri because
a Folk victory meant something. It
might have added with equal truth
that Parker was defeated because a
Parker victory meant something be
cause it meant hard times, idleness,
hunger, rags - and general wretched
ness throughout the country. And
the people seem to have made up their
minds that" they can manage to strug
gle along without any more Cleveland
times just yet.
Even a great victory has its disad
vantages. The Republican party now
finds itself confronted with the prob
lem of what to do with all the Con
gressmen it has elected. As it is well
known, the Hall of Representatives in
the Capitol at Washington is equally
divided into two parts, one for the-Re-
for
Y
publicans and the other for the Demo
crats. Heretofore the, membership
has been reasonably well divided, so
that there was no trouble in finding
a seat for each member on his own
side, of the house. But when the next
Congress meets Jt will be quite a one
sided looking-affair. On the Repub
lican side they will be. packed as close
as oysters in a can, while on the Dem
ocratic side there won't be enough to
keep each other company. The Re
publicans will either have to enlarge
their side of the Hall or go over and
sit among the Democrats. Really, it
looks like we almost "over-did the
thing this time. . . .
H I, THERE, YOU!
You like to hear the Yellow Jacket
buzz, don't you? You like to see us
"rip 'em up the back?" Well, this
is just what we're going to do, but we
don't want you to lose sight of the
fl- V.;o Jo J enrf -.f
arrangement. It is like a machine
it needs grease. The most suitable
grease for this machine is a brand fa
miliarly known as " spondulix," but
sometimes called " chink." The more
grease you pour oh the faster it hums.1
Now, how often do you grease it?,'.
Once a year? Is that all? Well, of
course we are not going to complain'
about that. One greasing' a year makes
us love you, but if you will grease us
oftener we will love you more. Get
all your neighbors to join in and help
you grease us. We want you all to
put On your "big Injun" war paint
and help us to roll up a million sub
scribers. The Yellow Jacket's circula
tion has doubled every year since we
started the paper, and if it will con
tinue to do that well for. the next
three years we will have a million sub
scribers. We could make out very
well witH a million subscribers, but we
can't feel satisfied to stop at less than
that number, so we are urging every
one of our present subscribers to help
us get that million. This is a very
modest request. It will be as easy as
tumbling off a log if you will each do
your part. -
Now don't wait for an international
agreement or for the next national
convention, but skin out of your coats,
roll up your sleeves and go to work
now. .Read our wonderful proposition
to club getters printed elsewhere, and
then pitch in and do your best. Let's
make the thing hum as never before.
Help tns to rattle the dry bones of
Democracy.
What You Have Missed.
We are sending out his week sev
eral sample copies of the Yellow
Jacket, and should this one happen to
be the first copy you ever saw it may
be that you will wonder if 'such an
issue as this is the result of some kind
of a Christmas spree, or does the pa-.
per keep up v such a broadside all the
time. To such we will say that this is
the kind of a caper that the Yellow
Jacket has been cutting before high
heaven for the last ten years, and if
4 .
you naven t been a subscriber, tnen;
you have missed ten years of more po
litical " skinning "bees," and adminis
trations of "hot stuph" than ever came
ambling downV the pike before. If
you haven't time to get up a club now,
then send twenty-five cents and get
the Yellow Jacket bi-weekly for a
whole year, and if you don't agree be
fore the time is half out that you have
got over the worth of your money
then we will agree to pay your quar
ter back and eat the balance of your
subscription; . :
Eli Tucker Revised.
Look here, boys! Now. is the: lime.
to subscribe, or renew your subscript
ion, to the Yellow Jacket if you de
sire to get the masterpieces of " Eli:
Tucker's " pen. For the past ten '
years Eli has been contributing regu-
ar letters to the Yellow Jacket. Some
of these letters have set Democrats to
having Jeeminy fits in-all parts of- the
country. We had so many calls for
issues of the Y. J., in which certain of
these; letters appeared, that we have
exhausted all the . back numbers. So
arrangements have been made to re
vise and republish, in the . Yellow
Jacket, all the best things of Eli's pen.
This feature will begin in next issue, v
raL,c aaministration. . -;y