Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / May 24, 1906, edition 1 / Page 1
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r - : . ' . '-.s ... - . '-. y jg....I.l.l-I-I"l-I"r"I"I"4"M"l"2"l' CLUB RATES. Yearly Subscriptions. Clubs of Four, $i. Z ISSUED BI-WEEKLY. 2 5 SINGLE SUBSCRIPTIONS, g 30 CENTS A YEAR. VOIv. XII. MORAVIAN FAILS, N. C.T THURSDAY, -MAY 24, 1906. NO. 11. r t . . . "I . ... , I . Editorial Notes The names of the j gold j prize winners will be announced in the as soon as the clubs are all, o iYe'Uow Jacket m. Anxious Reader: No, denatured alco hol is not a beverage.' But the Standard Oil Company is afraid it; would disagree with it whether it was drunk or not. -o- Lightning, it is said, never strikes twice in the same place but , something has struck the Democratic ; parjty about every four vears and knocked it into smither- eens. -o EVERY CLUB SENDER TO GET A PRI2E. -Bead -our 'fifty -dollar gold premium of fer, and then hit the pike for subscribers. - o And the paper trust has" surrendered to the "big stick.'. Score another vic tory to Roosevelt. If the Democrats are reallvin dead ear nest in wanting to see the trusts "sali vated" let them clear the track for Roosevelt. It is stated that the Standard Oil Com pany has established ia Bjureau of Pub licity. There is no. truths however, inhe report that it has engaged run it. Mr. Garfield to Should you behold i your rural' carrier bearing some heavy burden towards youri box some day-dont be frightened. It, in all probability" will be a-c Tpy of Senator La Follette's rate bill j speech. A new book' has recently been placed on the market entitled:! "The Melancholy Bed Bug, or Does a Democrat Become an Angel." Of course these things are prob lematical but we should say not. It is said that ever since Vesuvius erupted Senator Bailey, Texas, has been looking sad. Well, wl en a man tries to out-snout nature, and gets left, we don't blame him if or feelinb: sore over it. -o- Now that they have a"pie, factory, it is hoped that the great parties will put m a plant and go to making pies to beat the band. .This will cause! the hungry horde to get away from the pie counter. -o- The mighty reverberations of Comrade Debbs stud-ht)r$e type in" The Appeal to Treason, calling everybody to arms, might have been winxt upset San Francisco, but you can't get people out that way to be lieve it. : . . o - People who write calling on the Ken tucky editor, who 'was going to come to !North Carolina to co whidei the editor of this paper, to hurry up are Requested to give the number of the pacded cell from which they escaped. It will simplify mat ters. . Men often get stale in their ideas, and The special prizes to be awarded; to our club raisers, for the month of June will consist of- fifty dollars an gold ; to i be applied as folIoAvs: FIRST PRIZE. Twenty Dollars in Gold will constitute the Grand Prize, and will go to the person who mails us the largest list of subs, at 25 cents Saeh, bv six .o'clock on June the 30th. . - SECOND PRIZE. Fifteen Dollars in Gold to the person securing the second largest club at the same, rate and the-same time" as above. THIRD PRIZE. Ten Dollars in Gold to the person securing the third largest club, ' -.- . ; ,4 - FOURTH PRIZE. Five Dollars in Gold to the person securing the fourth largest club. . REGULAR PRIZE. The Wonderful Twentieth Century Cyclopedia ,Bri tannica will be mailed to every person who sends usa club of six or more subs, at 25 cents each- No home, library or school is complete without this valuable work. Over Fourteen Thousand different articles of especial interest are contained in the book, all alphabetically arrayed, and covering almost everv known field of "research; including Law, History, Geography, Biography, Business, Medicine, Chemistry, Electricity, .Engineering, etc,, etc! The work'is printed -in clear type suu papci, niiu. iiauusumeiy oouna in ciom. itememoer, tnisDooK goes to every sender of a club of six. Even those who spmirp. th o-nbl iripc aviII o-Pt tb -Wonderful Twentieth Century. Cyclopedia Britannica. Verily,, politics is a great game, and the man who pushes himself far iuto the "conflict will get the stuffins: knocked out of him once in a while. The Democratic spell-binder who buya a red neck-tie in order that it may har monize with' his breath has a grand con ception of the thing called art. o The fellow who sees nothing in store for the people in this country but to be come the helpless victims of greed and graft needs to take a course of treatiiieut for worms. - Lest your Democratic neighbor might not think of it, you should remind him that it was under a Republican adminis tration that the paper trust surrendered and agreed to dissolve. -o Here is a chance for the worker who says, "I'm going to win the grand prize," to make some good money.; Remember, a twenty dollar gold watch was secured last year by one of pur workers in Alabama with less than four days canvassing; And if you don't secure the first, remember the second nrize is worth mmv dav's .vork. . And if not the second the third, and if not the third the fourth. Even the lourth is worth almost a week's time at canvassing. ; The people who secure these prizes can never begrudge the time they spent, and they are going to the ones who make up their minds that they, will win, and do not let a chance slip in securing every .subscriber possible from" now until six o 'clock Saturday, June 30th. Remember, this is campaign year, and evervbodv will want to see the. Yel- -low Jacket. Get Republicans, Democrats, Socialists, Populists, and everybody to tnKe. tlio paper. . "- ' : CONDmONS. . . Subs, may be'theV new or renewals." .. Club must be mailed by six o'clock p. m., June 30th. ,v The amount sent for each subscription, 25 cents. . You must be one who sent us a club on Yellow Jacket Day .(May 24), or else you must write us a. card at once saying you wish to enter the race for one of the Gold Prizes. , . . - No gold-prize will be awarded to anyone who is personally, officially or finan cially connected with the YelloV Jacket. ' . Remittance must be made by P. O. or Express Money Order, registered letter, or certified check. No stamps accepted. Address - THE YELLOW JACKET, ' Moravian Falls, N. C. So long as Speaker Cannon persists in " soaping the track" of the tariff revi sionists train the people may feel assured that with all its puffing and sputtering the little old bullgine will not get far up tlia grade at Capitol Hill. o- f ' The trick of dividing the Republican party to make a chance for the Democra tic, donkey to come in has been worked successfully before, but the time has past j for such small politics to win any more battles. often too close study revea But President Roosevelt is s weak spots. I like Shakes- peare's description of the peerless woman custom stale s manv-sided age cannot witneri nor the infinite variety" of th and remarkable man '1 ! The Democrats have j done their dirty best to discredit "Roosevelt above them all,; even as the giant oak tow ers above the shrubbery of the forest, or the mastodon above the I skunk, our Presi dent was there at roll call and gave them better than they sent. o- Some accomplished mathematician might figure out who getsthe most bene fit from the free seed distribution, the'vo ter who receives half an. ounce of mixed varieties or the Congressman who has a but towering If you don't need the twenty dollar gold piece,; then you should make the fight for it for the good of Republicanism. With Vesuvius, San Francisco and Ben Tillman all in eruption at once, it seenis like it would almost put accident com panies out of business. hundred thousand of such distribute: . ! Debbs, the beautiful, hasn thing calling the people to Universe for three or four days. His last an over-ripe great announcement proved egg. It went up and it went down -and But Debbs most anv old that was all there was to it thought he had played well xning. Wonder why it is that mo st all the tes timonials to these patent d apes you see advertised are signed up by Democrats. They all tell about that" tired feeling and imagine they are cured. - A:ter the spell wears off they have another attack of the 1 miseries ' ' and send for ai other bottle. They never seem to think that if they would change their polities -get out of the shadow of the "great grief which Te' mocracy . always brings, tha they-would be as blithe and happy as a jtom:cat on a back- fence on a dark night. i;. packages, to t issued an- blow up the , This Southern-maiirfor-President propo sition might be worthy of a ' good deal. more notice if the Southern people did not so notoriously put their money on the wrong horse. : O The last word uttered by Mr. Bailey, of Texas, when he leases this world of sin and shame will doubtless be to the effect that somebody is a "malicious and de-v liberate liar." That good old Anglo Saxon word, Liai has been used many times but" never before as often as Mr. Bailey has used it. The fact of the busi ness is, if he keeps on, he, himself, will be known a the "heavenly lyre.'.' . The only resemblance between Senator Bailey and David, the sweet singer of old, is that both finally concluded, in their haste, that all men were liars. o The bulk of the talk about limiting pri vate fortunes seems to come from those vTho would riot be affected by any sort of reduction. o Nobody but a crank wants to see the tariff revised until the benefits to be de rived from revision will compensate for -the losses and inconveniences whichwill inevitably result from revision. This miy hit some Democrat below the belt, but we ! can't help it. The truth must be told if it yanks all the hide off the Democratic party. - o The cigar-makers union threatens an other .strike and the prime stinje-a-dories will advance about a cent each. The union could do mankind a favor by run ning up the scale so high tiiat'a five-cc:t cigar would not be in it. Shakespeare & - mackerel, that shines and stinks in the moonlight, is glaa. perfume compared to the modern five cent stink. . -o- " We are sending out this week several sample copies of the Yellow Jacket, and should this one happen to be the first cop you ever saw it may cause you to wonder if this issue is the result of some kind of a spasm, or does the paper keep up a simi lar racket a?U the time? To such, an in quiry we witl say ' that this is the kind of a caper we have been cutting before Jiigh heaven for the past ten years, and if -you haven't been a subscriber then, you have missed ten years of more political "skin ning bees' ' than .ever came, ambling down thepike before. If you haven't time to get up a club now, then send us 30 cents and get this paper bi-weekly for a whole year, and at the end of that time if you don't agree that yu have got over the worth of .your money then we will agree to pay you your quarter back. Isn't that fairi Amid all the other doubts we hear; but little of the Panama Canal. It seems that subject is only alluded to when all other things have flunked. The canal itself may flunk but the theme, never. o - Uncle Hiram sent us word the other day that "all the fools wasn't made at onst and if they had been and all died at onst thar wouldn 't Jbe any Democratic par ty to make the Republicans feel proud of themselves. " The Yellow Jacket continues to bev proud of the fact that it will not accept advertisements, and it is the only secular .1 l-i At j. A 3 newspaper in tne wona mat won i. if it would, it could turn in thousands of dollars a year and yet there are suckers who are mad because we do not print in vitations for them to part with their money in the cheap skin games advertised by fakirs in Socialistic papers. . - , o - . " Boys blow soap bubbles and "think it great sport and men with whiskers blow the same kind of bubbles ana can iz dusi ness. ; Finally Father Time backs the hearse up and carts you off and the pa per of the village says you were a success because you left steen dollars for some one to quarrel over, success snouia not be measured by dollars but by what one, accomplishes. But that kind of talk does no good. Dollars are the stuff all the way through, and no matter now nine Drains one may have if he nas tne dough, which lis doar he is ail right . ,r As a consequence of a strike and the refusal of the funeral drivers to work or to" allow noiiTiinion drivers to take their places, about 150 bodies remained un buried in New York on the ytli inst. When non-union drivers were employed they were attacked in the streets by the union, and police protection had to be em ployed. The English language isn't ade quate to' express our views on the subject. To hell with such unionism is the mildest way we can put it. : There .are still a few curious people who are wondering if the planet Mars is really inhabited. The question arises suppose it was inhabited. Suppose it had steentv-steen million people in it and each man would take a bundle of Appeals to Treason what good would it dof This earth is inhabited, biit there are some folk on it who still vote the Democratic ticket. What science should do is to reach forth her lily-white hand with a maul in it and try to reach the deluded of the planet' Earth, and then after that chore has been finished look "upards" to'the skies and try to sell the people of Mars a patent M. - r' And so Bylliam, the peerless, says he will hitch his wagon .to a star another time, provided no one else is; available. Bylliam is always available but he never makes good on the home run. But it seems that Fate has decreed that he must be the victim. .The Democracy laughed long and loud when .it got him out of the way and brought up the-'Esopus horse but' the man from Esopus was 'worse than Bylliam. And now that Bylliam sends word . that he will trot another race well, fhe Republicans will again make it unanimous for their man and it may be Teddy. Why nott
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
May 24, 1906, edition 1
1
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