SOCIALISTIC DEMOCRACY.
By Eli Tucker.
snake put
.I've been
In my opinion the SociaHstia Beni6e
raey is to be the next real live party,
that the Republicans will; hav 3 to fight.'
She's just as sure to come bef or 3 the coun
try as water is wetv Ti$re las been a
good many parties and issues presented
to the people within the "past quarter of
;a century, but as a delusion yom Delti-:-.r;ili
T'll Tnt. thfv Socialistic Demon-
V I I III V I Illy JL. w w 1 - ' " .
S L . "---. v.
racy combination that ; is under or-
intion ahead oi anything that nas ever
come down the pike since! that
the fixins on old Mother Eve.
watching this Socialistic r movement for
several years and 1 11 coniess that these
f rl irs are as far- ahead of i the Democrats
in drawing pictures upon their imagi
nation as a painting 'or Kaphael is ahead
of a gob of axle grease on a i ew saddle
blanket! When a fellow gets j Socialism"
in his blood he begins-to 'see - iad things
in the very air we breathe. H 3 imagines
that about two or three linen own this
country, government and .all, ' and that;
every tramp and idler and. every one who
lacks any of the comforts an i luxuries
of life should be taught to believe that
his wantsn n i a-auo.iail ana econ-
; i V d Prefer r Cleveland; Democracy.
Butdet us ste-r clear Jof . both. I merely
touchl upon; these matters, hurriedly this
morning but will gd into" this subject more
specifically m the near future - -l I 'm going
toproye thatthe same difference exists
between Bryanishi ,. and:- Socialism that
does between tweedledum and tweedledee.
; Sermon from the Tripod.
Text: "He thought It a most capital
himself with cigarette smoke.- -
I-climb on mv Wnn tUw -
- - , , xxx, v xLcax ui
i
OI" them. The rrnn ia
never short.. .Yet: the demand "is always
greater than the suddIv. for "aith
Hs nothing hut a hoy, still a hoy is-a boy, and
a uuy . is - a piece or property, unique rich
unpurchasable. A Barnato might have hoys
of. his : own, but if he had none, he could
not, buy: one of yours, or mine, for ' thrice
two hundred 'millions in yellow old: "And
so while we: have no "money la hank, yet
in: our boys, our little boys, wo, have wealth
incomputable. If all the sand of the sea
shore was pure gold, it would not buy from
us one kick of that boy's littlo fat foot, one
loving glance from "his bright eye3, or one
lunny noa oi his little round head. And
where these bright; little, funny little mani-
Kins are raising a ; happy war, all the time,
jumping- and tumbling and bumping, jabber
ing comic English with their funny little
. " - "o i v. nuiut, nitu; luiil
ed .the nurse. and? go- his poison. , Only per
sistent in one thing. :s in "clinging to the devil
ish serpent that was ruining him. When, we
f?, w.ny he did not cuhis throat, he blink-
MORE OR LESS PUNGENT.
An Emporia woman bronirht ".smlt- ir the
T"kl.-. . . . u
ed idiotically and said he thought tht tf rtt UT , v l l(Hlay ror a divorce. from her
hurt. Th f a canceled check
in nis pocKet-book for two dollars for ribbon
The CTimmest. Rjitfr v
Tt v any senius could conceive Is a" dude
Mtched to a cigarette And yet that dude
was once a.boy. O, boys, boys, be true to the
mother-love. Carry, with yon through life
the pure, fresh hearts with which you began
the grand battle of life. Keep your mouths
free from poison that will ruin your nerve3
and destroy your power of manhood, and
1?,P your tnouS&ts free from the poison
wuicn murders nnritv. - nnn'f mUto
me - Doys, jthe ; male lambs nf mv flrvv Tho vices of tho wr.T-i t c .
wide earth is full nf- tvim iTanri nnra i r ,
- r 7 ' -w V AA m. m. m A M. A 1 C-T . I t M r I . in A & . J-K III! 9t - W K V rm V n n f w n M
remember the voice of one crying: in the ereat
wilderness of the world. Beware the. des.
. ware the cigarette. Shy around the boy
or. man that uses them, for they are the lat
ter day. devil's combination to ruin body and
mina.
for his typewriter. Emporia Gr-zette.
An Ohio politician enjova telling of nnnm.
i i . -
icai aiscussion ne once overhcaid in a conn.
try grocery store.
In some way the argument, ouite a hented
one, degenerated into a dispute in which one
side took the position that the others were
crazy to entertain such political tenets as
theirs. - -
Atthis: point a solemnTlooking IndividualT
who up to this time had held his peac3, sud
denly, interjected:
'Gents, I want to say" that I'm the only
sane man here that has the papers to prove
it!" .
The crowd gazed upon him In astonish
ment. v
'It is true, gents," continued the solemn-
looking individual, as he drew forth a docu
ment from the recesses of his coat, "here's
my discharge from the State Insane Asr-
The Republicans of Mainerin their con- lum! Harperjs Weekly.-
aI i " " .ieU ruTg- Customer "Give me two yards oi honesty,
declaration as to Tariff and , reciprocity : please." -
We hellAVft in Tia Prntprtv TnriflF l Clerk "Verv sorrr. mnrtnm. -wo nro Inct
minx you, now, of themillions of homes in which is fiindnmpntllv lincofl nnnn n out of honesty; but I can show you candor.
the deep pasture lands of fair Columbia rPf,ftfrn;f:nT1 rn inrio h?Wc looks iust Hke it, and Is lees expen-
Wnere tneSA hrfirht little fnnrv HHU m.nL ro-"wu" v umguvM xxx iuuui I RiVp
cost nere and abroad. The Protective
Tariff Protects American labor, guards
and sustains the scale -of American wages,
Ck, eager eyes; eating everything they can Kh;m a - i j
I intr, tair. WrtT,o. ' i build and maintain American homes: and
re; ruining furniture: tear! ne uD' book?: wniie it tends to keep the American mar
king holes in "the carpet; plastering them- ket for American industries, nevertheless
ves with dirt; chasing after and catching our trade in f oreism jnarkets has exDand-
ed to an extent never before known.
We reaffirm bur belief in that reciproc-
Tho State of Blaine, Reed and Dingley
"Stands Pat."
-American Spectator.
"This." remarked Mr, Softe. "is mv nhoto-
graph with my-two French 'poodles. You
recognize me, eh?" -
I think so." said Miss Caine, "You ar
the one with the hat on, are you not?"
Cassels Journal.
p measjes, wnooping cough, and every
hilable disease; perfect bundles of appetite;
iuu or electricity as eels, and curious
ever their mothers were Tefore them:
iding. - lives of rollicksome. . frolicksome
wpiness, and keeping their parents on the
Vderland of insanity. As I think of these
mons of boys; and of all the love twined
round them all the proud ambitions of which
Miss Cutting "I saw you in tlie car oa
your way from the office last, night."
Mr. Hogg "Strange, I didn't see you."
Miss Cutting "Not at all. I was standing
lty which governs the interchange , with pust in front of where you were sitting."
fOTMPO-Ti nmmtrioe of art Mo wliiAli oo ruuaaeipaia iTess
V. i x j t it i "
me piuuuub oj- American iauw, ami we a British arm v order advises that, when
oppose any sucn reciprocity with Canada possible, mules should be used to draw ma-
as will flood our markets with Canadian chine guns. "When, however," says the or-
church or a school, or build a cotton fac-
tory or a turnpike, but if all hid neighbors they are the living centerpieces, and of how lumber and farm products and thus seri- der' a """f Is ilotflfvailab1' ny, lntelBf at
x -j:-. ' lxi- hrrhf hnwhooMfni Vi xxV i i ft. ix- xi. noncommissioned offlcer will do instead.
persist in spiiuiig wicij. tixu jwniLtiiu, wvul,ui, u.n muuv-cui mcjr io, uusiy ciiiuarrass tne muus tries . o i"" Ram's Horn.
fishing, squirrel Hunting and c.ussmg tHe . , , " v" . r , . ""7 State. ' '
" w " u,u, HLklLf
short crooked legs, and of the dangers which,
government, he will never succeed in
building the church, the school, the road,
or the factory. "Co-operative Common
wealth." What a delusion in ;hat name.
In theory it is beautiful.! It will work
out on paper like a sum in short division.
There is not a flaw in all its theoretical
compartments. Industrial eg'iality for
everyone. No rich, no poor) ric lowly, no
great everybody on a dead level and
everybody a gentleman, well clothed, well
The demand for tariff revision and
Free-Trade in the natural, products of
Canada does not seem to have been
c" in Maine. The State of
Blaine, Reed and Dingley stands pat. .
fed, well educated and well bred, whether clear down to the bottom of your nature, and
he wants to be or not. j For instance,
they teach that the man (who j works in
the coal mines, under the Cc -operative
Commonwealth, would receiv3 all the
value that his labor produces;: the same
with the man on the railroad, in the
lactory or on the iarm. It all the pro-
duet of the miners' labor goes to him
where is the millions of money coming
from that it will take to develop the mine
and build the railroad to reach! it? Cbm-
like wild beasts and poisonous cnakes, lurk
along the. highways to tear and deface their
stout little innocent hearts, I feel that I need
a voice like the voice of heaven's loudest ar
tillery, and an eloquence to make my speech
as the richest pickings of the famous Klon
dike. For a boy can come nearer getting
next to you than any other living thing.
He has less sense, yet he knows more, con
sidering his parentage and the chance he
has had. He can make you madder, and President is to. take some interest in the
gladder, and somehow seem to be able to get Congressional campaign this year, breaks
Suppose You Smoke This!
The Morning Star, of 'Wilmington,
North Carolina, after noting that the
"But why have you broken your engage
ment?"
"Well, I simply couldn't marry a man with
a Droicen nose.
Ah, I wonder how he got his nose broken
poor fellow!"
"Oh, I struck him accidentally with my
brassie when he was teaching me golf."- Th
Bystander.
stir you all through yourself. A man who
has never owned a boy of his own, has never
seen the sun shine, nor the rain fall. He
may have heard music from a one-stringed
violin, but he never listened to earth's sweet
est-music in full diapason.
. Ana now tney grow. They swarm up
from millions of homes, in all the-highways,
and by-ways. They struggle into their knee
pants and crawl out of them at both ends.
In school and out they xtre always at their
lessons; learning, eating, growing, pushing,
crowding,building up brain and sinew, scrap-
out in this fashion
"Roosevelt is supposed to be the Presi
dent of the Republicans, of the Demo
crats, of the ' Populists, of the Socialists,
and of the straddlers. How -do they like
"Ma," said a newspaper man's son, "I.
know why editors call themselves 'we,'"
"Why?"
. "So's the man that doesn't like the article
will think there are too many people for him
to tackle." Sacred Heart Review.
Norman Hapgood, the journalist and es
sayist, was discussing Amercan newspapers."
"It Is not enough that our papers -snail ten
iner thft-.tuirlr off thfiir shinst tannine' thp.Ir
mumties may co-operate to tlid; extent ot faces, and changing their plump chubbiness
putting a ioot-way across the creek or 1 into hard bone and strong muscle ot man-
so mo "little t.hino- IiItp that. Tviif it ia hood with a rush that astonishes. And for
0 -T" 1 . - , i.n i i x
rrwoh no n.WlT, fr. ,m A i e saKO oi ims constantly coining nost oi
vj.. ju 1 lX & tL X.VX VXX I l J ' VXVJ X. I . - . . , . m --. , - . - .
to see their President rubbing their party the truth." he said. Truth-tellinB m lueit
fur the vrong way by monkeying in par- ffS"
tisan poimcs ana laying political wires "Thus a young man called on a young iaay
and settingtraps to heat them out in their one spring morning very early. He had his
Congressional elections.' ' pis automobile along, ne waniea to give toe
Well, Mr. Star, there is a certain Demo- P"uus iaujr
cratic Senator from North Carolina who A little girl tho yQung lady's niece, ans
Is supposed to he a Senator for all the peo- wered the bell.
pie for Republicans, Democrats, ITo In- -is your aunue inv.T JOttUS "JdU-
bitionists, Straddle-bugs, etc. and who ...AVv ' where iS she?' he went on.
is also State chairman of "the Democrats. "'She's un stairs.' said the littlo sirl, 'ia
rpv. " 1 p -i i -n i x I , I SLUXU .y 11C 13 IVIIUHO,! WX1V, D1U l -XL. X-LCLJ vr XI 1X I I 1' w.. - .
mink ot it! Men won t even work out the earth was young, have'been marching in And he is getting ready to move heaven her nightey looking over the balustrade.
the roads in their own communities, "the constantly increasing numbers up from the
very roads which they use every day nurseries 'out into manhood, into the great
and over which they must trdvel to get rush of the roaring world, and on, on, out
o n ia aA rrru into unknowoworlds, ' we wish that all the
-v !. yyxuxx a, jo,vjl vx, jxvflix. .xxy
and earth to elect ten Democrats to Con- Buffalo Enduirer.
gress from North Carolina this year.
will drag through the mud anc kill .their
stock pulling over these roads and then
kick like a Texas steeYifj called upon 'to
help work them out a little. Talk about
rfxi . . TTr-f A New York man was talking about Opla
If there is no impropriety in a United ' x" niJ . f1- lonmaiist.
States Senator scheming' to elect Demo- nPort von know." he said, "founded tho
crats. then how in the name of the Great Arkansas Traveler. He edited that excellent
tKoco hnva orrmjr nrntild ' oo f - fiolt lrV I TT m ,1 i i4- Z nr frr li rk Proci- I rn nor for- tPTl VP-ITS Of IHOr6. 3nd made
ing and innocent hearts, as these boys now jnrix nr flip TTnifpd States to have his great success of it. . '
are. r C" i dent 0t tne Umtea Oiaxes o nave -They say that in-the spring of 1385 a re-
But they meet with evil at every point. raxners m cxig a cj.-.ix owx u v -x porter for the Traveler aiea. ne was a u.
evil could be struck dead by the lightning
of heaven, so 'that all the men into which
. i I, . . - -i XUL lXJf ill L WILxl -VIA dl V 1 V LUlxll. I ' . V , - . -I IJKJi. . i x .
Co-operative Commonwealth A fel- Millions of ugly claws are stretched out on gressman elected. We suggest that you young chap. A visitor to the office, the day.
low will cuss out the capitalistic system
m seven languages and the verv first time
he gets a chance he'll walk ; ii to a trust And this is a sad shame, that. the great dan-
or combination and freeze to iS principles lrilZi'SSlZ't
as tight as the bark on a hickory tree in disease, ruined morally and physically, and
January. Talk about ai CO-operative going on roller skates, down hill into infamy.
Commonwealth. ' ' This j Co-onerative And these wandering stars, soon to be lost
Vinrlr -vnrrl he- nfter the funeral, found the editor and ma
if . VU fcj 1 f L A X L 1 Xl L?X 4 1 I 1 1 fA ! V T LX . .
ineir ruuuy xi.aitu, ana stain ineir innocence.
-. . i r x, i cTi it ia I kim it ;iuu iia o .- v..rf .
fpre complaining aDOU, your ueiSuuur. ...TrhTT been a sad loss, friend,' the visi-
TWO BOOKS IN ONE. -
wv Ji
tor said. A sad loss indeed. ie-signea ana
irwvri nhmit tha room. 'And I am pleased to
see he went on. 'that you commemorate tha
Commonwealth theory mighti
every man was imbued "with h
i In-the blackness of darkness, take a delight
w a xx rsTYtlnVt' mriRt Tia kindled frnm th ' flampa nf
nesty and ell, in teaching these oncoming boys the
Where do you sea
Had aspirations just like every other man. errors by which their own lives have been
i3ut that he hasn 't got and never will
have. Millions of people j are content to
stay at the bottom of the ladder, while
only a few aspire to climb. With a Co
operative Commonwealth? we 'd have a
horde of people who! wouldn't work any
more than they are doing to-day. The
" Commonwealth ' V-would4 hay 3' to keepT
them up and the number iwou' d increase
from year to year. I tell! yc u the Co
oprative theory, will never work on a na
tional scale. It will apply to affew select
individuals but not tor a nation. A man
can take two, four, six or! a dczen horses tract all the poison, mix the poison with
and train them toe-ether to n ill in har- still more poisonous. . drugs, roll up in thin
monv rS getner , to pun m nar- at)er hitch. an idiot to one end, and you have
iiiony and do good work but just imagine ft. you can, tell he is an' idiot by seeing him
?lm hitching a thousand or a-milUoiL in: smbke that" would make- the chlm-
norses too-pthPT "WonliTi t Vi hell coucrh. and" strangle, and then
The Bed light" and "Hot Stupli'? Combined, melancholy event by hanging up crape
. - ri ottinff "Opie Kead irowneu
wh .r uicuaiiuA .. . v -
. ... 1 xv. rx
ready, as fast as possioie, o issue mo --v
Light" in a new edition and combined with
it. tinder the same covers, we will mciuaw
'Hot Stuph" which is to consist 01 tne not-
blasted. They take a package of vile, stink- test and best paragraphs and articles that crape.
Crape?' he said.
any crape?' ...
" 'Over there, said the visitor, polnung.
'Crape be durned said Read! 'That isn t
It's the office towel. xcnans-.
ing cigarettes, and show he boys the viler
pictures. And they show them how to smoke.
and how to blow the horrible Stygian fumes
through ; their, delicate nostrils, and -while
they are: doing this some kind Christian
shrtuM hit the enticer . on: the head with a
base-ball bat; . It, would not knock his. brains
out. Such a thing has no brains, only, in
stinct,' and instinct that no self-respecting
brute would use. If there is anything, that
makes' a inan's humanity want -to -rare up
anri trill Romethihff. it is a cigarette.- -Its
verv ' name condemns it. tit is not a . cigar,
qtiV '-m nr a - than: Dan talettes -, are pants, ir
vou want a cigarette, take a bad cigar,' ex-
have ever aeared in the Yellow Jacket
The Red Light needs no introduction to
thousands of our readers. "Hot Stuph'Vwlll
reach back for a period of ten years and
bring together hundreds of rich and racy
articles that you have doubtless . long since
forgotten. "- With this book you get the best
that's going. ".You can start a political camp-
meeting on short- notice. It wilj create more
fun than a bushel of monkeys and everybody
will stop to listen. Every reader of the Yel
low Jacket will want.a copy and all the book
will cost tou will be to get us a club of six
subscribers at 25 cents each, and the book
will be mailed to you free, soon as complet
ed. The regular selling price of this book
wilf be one i dollar post pajd. Hurry up with;
your club and let us send you this compound
Democratic skinning macnine. -
. - I r II' k H III MA Lb A II V . -
pi-uicf ThP fiflmr: ca H ' nf mon : M;JUWaiiot u .uiuw-wxa 0iv.vv- . . h . wav to' America. ui went
rl ,.v MV v .ii. ,. ,.. . A-J t.cn Ilia inint PrTff JLllV I wva" vx ..- .--.-r.
..x uuuer mm riue mimuns; flnnthr corner in "sea
Of
LQio. generally first half of the voyage. One day.
men can be trained, to work ir harmony, audlenCe: And fJiis muscles - are soft , and STreparaUons for burial at sea were
out it is tear and not the adhesiveness of flabby, and his bones are decayed, and nis made nd In placQ Cf leaden weights, which
Co-orfvrntirr -i-v. 4 ---. il U-v A -ia. nownTiV c .of Am- in' a "wreck. 'and-morality has , -. t . f rnnl were substitut-
naa.Deen xu., .. - . c
ed.
Pof" hprflmfl ill and- aiea. xne
fledr f romr him in disgust, Ono of these gin- , - The remains were finally ready for the
Co-operation' ' that keens them Tinder 1 nervous system-is a wreck, and morality
r.nnTnl ' . - i- I : . -1 fl-firtTyi h!m In discrnst. : Ono Of these
T pW I'--iL.-'" - Bering idiots came! into the smoker of a car g - riteSt and long and earn3tly did
a expect manv neTTiOftrat.4,Jwill -Aorree J n- - nopi-n f Jiast saa ; mu. ho binrt-
xpili tvT- : r TT- v3 v ine 'omer aay,; auu iiuucu WUk. a uvdv - "Mike Iook at nis
wun me upon this matter, but -it don't cigarettes, and "began to 7 smoke. Said his out sorrowfully:
remedy the sitnafrk- hn.iT Ar T'lio fotftni. a rip.h; and Dai him confined -tt-i rof ni
' vvmi;4u VXXV y ... xv 1 a.m WL . w . I V V A A. v, , " " - . . - ,-
essential doctrines of -Bryai re Oi'm domed if 01 wongw ey u
. 1 - i- - -f - - - . . . . --.Lr.-- -.31 aa irtr . onn - no - kiiiiihhu hil- t k xx. cx . .
hight,: and had wheels in his he, andhlj
"trdis nave either got to get away from heart Hurned over and' he had to be Ued
isryanism or be " deluded into-the? Social- naniT he had the ' Jim jams, hd, suffered
istic .camp No Socim'for your IJ
CLUB EATESt-FOUR SUBS 1.00.
"What's the difference between vision and
"See those two girls across the street?"
"Yes."
""otwii "hA nrettv one I
- v Mr
call a vision of
loveliness, b ut the other, one she's a sight.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
nro,Tn T must request you to remove
yourhat," remarked the polite theater usher.
The lady smiled grimly. "
. "Does my hat. annoy the little man behind
me
"Then you'll find it much easier to removo
him." Cleveland Plain Dealer.
In the barber-shoplhTscI-Sors clinked mei
rilv away and the barber's dog lay on the
floir cTose' bfde the chair, looking P f
ly all the time atthe occupant who was hav-
m h . m mm; mm. w w
IH. -lis flair -uu, -
"Nice dog, that," said the customer. jj
"He is, sir said the barber.
: "He . seems very fond of seeing you cut
hair -''- -
"ft isn't that, sir' explained the Jarberv
smiling. "Sometimes I-make a mistake and
take a little piece off a customers ear.
Ladles .Home Journal. " V
TTello Hello! Is that Mr. RichdadT,
This is ChoUy Sappie speaking. I f7!?
- . . -fbt last night I -er L
placed an enementing on your-dan ght
'iuig isf W:ieTeland Leader. .
'.T. .
r