Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / Sept. 5, 1907, edition 1 / Page 4
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CICCOOCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOu After the plunge at Galvestbn CoL Jefterson aad themisshIevous Tom- ay purchased tickets, for New Or leans, the Crescent City, j Their route tarried them thru lieaumor t and ver the Southern Pacific ailway liuu the marshes of Mississippi and Louisiana where they could view the ifice fields that make ..that section famous, Nothing out "of the- ordi nary happened - on the 1 way. ' The sights took up the time of the youth ful f un-maker's mind. It wa ; after they had crossed - the 1 Mississippi, lhat great Father- of Waters that Hows by the Crescent City, and Tiad started up Canal Street, that Tommy began to cudgel his thinker for something to pull off on I his cad. . The St. Charles hotel was! soon reached and a comfortable roc m en gaged. Next came the taking in of the sights of the city. Jackson Square was rirst visited. Co . Jef ferson Vas a great admirer of that hardy old hero of New Orleai s and when he stood close by his sta ue he swelled up and grew quite eloquent. A crowd gathered around the mon ument, attracted by the Co onel's loud talking. This enthused him and he began to address them: ' j "In all American history thare is not another hero that measures up with Andrew Jackson. He ca ne to this city w th a 1 ttle jquad y.) men and drove the Red-coats; into the ocd. J. c vvao nui vyxjr c w gained, but he punished the enemy iearfulb'. Since the last j shot i fired by his intrepid Kentucky and Ten nessee riflemen not another gun has been pointedat our-gloribus flag by "a British soldier. He forever silenc ed the war-like antagonism of Eng land toward this young giant cf the .West." j At this juncture an officer tapped the Colonel on the arm and told mm to let up, as he was creating dis on the streets. He let up and stepped down among the crowd. ! "Go on! Go, on!" shouted a ber of voices. "Free speech is denied me," plied. j hura- e re- "What is your politics?" j some) one bawled out. - "A Democrat!" he replied "Go on and make a speech tl en- we're all Democrats! He started to go on with his ad the dress, but Tommy took, him b1 hand and told him that he was oing to get' into trouble, and suggested that they leave the statue forth rith. "I hate to be bluffed." roared the Colonel. "Come on!" cried the boy, lea ding the way. . " . "Where to?" he inquired.; "To the- old battlefield." Now it might be explained that Tommy had studied up a joke to have played on his here i huge Pa. i his boy While the Colonel was making little speech at the statue the was busy developing his i sch erne. He was always fortunate in fin ping someone handy to help him out With his fun. - An old peg-leg ex-Cor fed arate soldier was standing near and Tommy told him he wanted hiri to hurry out to the battlefield and pave a lot of old junk ready to pan off on rxir tumbled to the fun, and af.ter the toy had forked him over a dollar, the rest was asy sailing. Of co irse the old soldier was tq give back to Tommy all the money that charged hands in the souvenir transaction. Tommy delayed his Pa : all he could, so as to give the old soldier time to get out to the battlefield and get his souvenirs in order. ! In about an hour the Colonel and his son took a car for the old battle ground. The boy worked his Pa up to the highest pitch by asking lim all sorts of questions relating to the famous battle. He even broac led the question of soilvenirs. I W len the battlefield was reached, there stood the old- soldier on duty He had a lot of rusty iron and-dirt oi a plank in front of him. ; j "Hey, old man,", said the jColo iel, "whit have you there?" "Souvenirs," answered the old soldier. V i 'I "For sale?" j Yes cheap." - j j "What kind of souvenirs have you?" ..m -t , I r "Relics picked up here and thsre over the battlefield. This dirt 3 ou see here is taken from the Sot where General Jackson stood wl en he dismounted during the battle to give orders to his famous Kentucky and Tennessee riflemen." I i "How much will you take for what ypu have there?" inquired the Col onel, pulling out his wallet. 1 "Fifty, dollars." , j U "It's a trade. What can you tlut them, in?" - T think I can find a sack around here somewhere." j The old junk and dirt was put n 0 a sack and handed over to trie1 purchaser. It : weighed sonuHhiing like fifty pounds.; The Colonel mit it across ms snouiacr and ;wa ed it around over the battlefield. It tickled To'mmy and the soldier 1 ut they dared not 1 laugh outright- '-Tti - vjiu. ichuw siippeo xommy trie flftv uuiiuia "u luvia a U4CK TO tOWIl He was satisfied with the dollar tl at Tommy had given him. i ' ' ; In a little while the Colonel acid liis son took a car back to the ci rv the old man hanging on to his pur chase as if it was so much r0ld - tTe discoursed on the battle andi the fa , mous general that fought it ' all the rwav back, attractimr rnnffu-..ti. Attention on the car. When they Jot back to Creir hotel, the -Colonel set his ouvenirs down .111 the rotunda and a number of loungers wanted" to know what it was he had in the sack..;-- :"V! ; ,' '. ' "Souvenirs of the Battle-of New Orleans," replied the - Colonel. At this he began to .opea up his purchase and the loungers dre close around - him. Tommy off to one' side where he cou'.d lugh; All was taken from the sack. but Iris sacred dirt. "Come off, oti man, yoa'-re been hoodooed," said one ,, of the by standers "Whatl" flared up the Colonel; ' "You've a lot ot stuff there- that never saw the battlefield undl it was ' carried there by ths "man who gu'led you." "Do you reckon?". . j "i know. All the I real souvemrs ",vere taken from that battlefield s.venty-five yearf ago." "How about this- earth jl have here which was taken from the spot where General Jackson stood when he ordered his famous riflemen to fire on the Red-coats?" "It is fake dirt. You're swamped all .around." ' i ; At this the crowd began to laugh, and the Colonel grew red. Their laughing angered him. He jumped to his feet. . "1 am not to be a laughing-stock here!" he stormed. "I'm a gentle man, I'll give you to understand. I'm a direct descendant of the illustri ous Thomas Jefferson. My name is Colonel Nicholas Jefferson, and I stand on every inch of floor-spae'e I occupy. I fought thru the bloodiest battles of the Civil War and still have fighting blood in my veins. If any of you fellows want to fight, come on I'm ready for you." v This bombast only made them laugh the. more. j "How -much will you take for your relics?" ' asked one. . - He became so enraged atthis that he putvthe stuff back in "the sack and ran to the door and pitched it into the street. 5 J 'r 1 1 1. Zt. 1 '71 jlucic, )uu iau fcju uiiu yet in he exclaimed. Tommy saw the predicamen that his Pa was about to get into and he went up to him and told him that he wanted to speak to him in their room a minute. The old man followed his son, but very reluctantly. "There is no use to get so wrought up," said the boy to his father when they reached the room. "You have been faked and that is all there is to it. You are just fifty dollars short." "Yes, and I'll have that old scoun drel who sold me the stuff in jail be fore I leave here, too." "If I should tell you how to get your money back without any more excitement, will you drop the mat ter? And will you" promise not to get mad with me?" "Yes, if you'll get me back the fiftv dollars, I'll drop the matter, and have no more to say about it." The boy began to fumble in his pocket and pulled out tire very same money that had been paid pver. "There's your money," he said, handing it over. 8 "How? well, I'll be" N "You promised to drop it," inter fered the boy. v "But will you not explain how came you with the money?" - The boy explained, and. the old man laughed in spite of himself. He slapped his boy on the back and said: "You will make a 'good politician. You'll fool the Radicals. You'll be up high in politics some day. You'll be able to fool 'em when they are looking at you. But, son, you ought not to get me into so many close places. You'll get me killed one of these idays." ) Tommy laughed and said, 'Hur rah for General Jackson 1" THE WATERON IDEA. We have tried to imagine how the, Kentucky editor the- Sage of the Blue-Grass Region -or, in qther words, Henry Waterson would com fort himself in the event that 'William J. Bryan should be named , as the Democratic standard-bearer by the Democratic National Convention next year. Only a week or. two go he declared in most - fervid style that the Nebraskan's policy was "insensi ate and diabolical, preposterous and revolutionary, and at war with all the traditions of the Democratic party." He roasted Mr. Bryan most, unmerci fully because of his advocacy of gov ernment ownership and the initiative and referendum. "The Democratic party," he declared, "could not afford to endorse such revolutionary schemes and a nomination of Bian would mean an-endorsement of ; ev erything he ; advocates." ; H 1 Someone then came out in the public prints and intimated that Col. Watterson was getting ready to bolt the Bryan ticket in the event that the Nebraskan got the nomination. But this makes thT veteran editor red-headed and he flares up and nails it as a lie and adds that "Mr. Bryan is a most agreeable man, and that he would be mighty glad tp see him In the White House,, and would not be afraid to trust him - there." 1 So the Colonel says one thing one day and contradicts It the next. He hates Mr. Bryan, and he loves him. He says he would make 1 the worst kind of a President and then he would make a JLandyf How difficult It must be to be a Watterson Democrati One who knows that a candidate's policy is preposterous, insensiate and diaboli cal and yet one who .would rejoice to. see that same candidate elected.' Happy, happy Democratic: family! OCCOCOOCOCCOOCCCCCCQ Sol. Flint's Letter V OOOOGCOOOOOOOOOOOGOOOOOOOu Wild Horse Prairie, Texas, August 30, 1907. Dear Mr. Yellow Jacket: - 1 have, just returned f rcnn St. Louis where ! marketed a few cars of sum mer cattle at a very good price. Alt T nnnld hpar nn thft train and lh the city was trust-busting. Everybody seems excited. 1 am airaia a iyu ui people are going to loose their heads. I looked around on the c-rs for John D. Rockefeller, but I couldn't find him. I wanted to ask him now he felt over that little fine imposed upon him by Judge Landis. A Demo crat sitting on the seat just in front of me said thaUif oil went up to fifty cents per gallon, the .Roosevelt ian administration would have to shoulder the blame. I laughed In the fellow's face, and he hopped up and began to lecture me. "The Demo crats would have put the whole gang in jail," he said, pointing -his index finger towards me like a six shooter, "and the people would not have had to pay out nearly thirty million dol lars in backing up the senseless de cission of a crazy judge." "Hpld right there, Mr. Democrat said. "How in the name tof Moses' weeping mother would you havo set tled on the really eruUty party? Sure ly you would not have put everybody connected with . the Standard uii Company- in jail? "Yes, sir, and confiscated every dollar's worth of property the Octo pus controls," replied the fellow, with torked flames leaping from his eyes. "What!" I gasped. "Yes, sir, extirpate the mammoth trusts, root and branch." "Where did you get that lan guage?" "From Mr. Bryan." v "Ah, I thought so." Now let me tell you, sir the Republican party is" fighting the trusts just now, and it is not borrowing its tactics from the Democratic leaders or from any other source. It is surpassingly strange that the Democrats would "dictate to the party in power how to "bust" trusts, when their party never busted" a trust thruout all of its winding history. Such a method as the Democrats advocate would paralyze the industries of the country to such an extent that a pan ic of mammoth proportions would swoop down upon us. The object of the Republican party is not to de stroy combinations of capital, but to hedge them aout with legal re straints. Certainly where the pur veyors of a trust presist in running rough shod over the statutes and the courts that endeavor to enforce them the pary in power is in fa vor of imprisonment as an adequate penalty. This country, sir, needs a great deal of capital to run its busi ness, and the idea that every big capitalized concern 'is a trust is er roneous." "You just wait and see the trust plank in the next Democratic plat form and you'll see which Is the real ly trust-busting party," rejoined the Democrat, batting his eyes very rap idly. "I'm satisfied it'll be a daisy," I replied. At this another long-necked fel low whosaid he lived down in Ar kansas, butted in. "Will you let me ask you a ques tion?" he asked. "Fire away," I answered. "Well tell me," he said, licking his cheek, "do yeu think Mr. Roose velt would agree to John D. Rocke feller or E. H. Harriman being thrust in jail" if their crimes, could be proven n them as individuals?" "Yes sir; I believe he would re joice to see some of the managers of unlawful trusts convicted and sent to the penitentiary, and I think my self that such a proceedure would have a most healthy effect." "Another question, please?" said the fellow. "Go ahead." "Did hot the Republican party get Its enthusiasm touching trust-busting from the Democratic party?" "Not as I have ever read about." "What about the Democratic plat form of 1900? It denounced the trusts . In unmeasured terms and re commended exactly what the Re publicans are now putting into ef fect. Look at the Republican plat form of that same year and see if you can find a word about trust busting."' "v "Hold, my dear sir," I replied; I happen to have a little memoran bum "here In my pocket. It is from the Republican platform of 1888t I will read it to you and then see if you will claim that we have stole your campaign thunder. Listen: 'We declare our opposition to all combinations of capital, organized in trusts or otherwise, to control arbi trarily the condition of trade among our 'citizens; and we recommend to Congress and the state legislatures, in their respective jurisdictions, such legislation as will prevent the exe cution of all schemes to oppress.the people by undue charges on their supplies or by unjust rates for the transportation of their products to market. Now, I'm sure Mr. Bryan cannot say that the Republicans . of that year and generation stole that plank from him or the Democratic party. What have you to say, sir?" 7 "I I -did- not know the Re publicans ever had a plank like that," he replied, much con fused. . "Of coarse notyou.havo believed you: You ought to get an armiui of Republican platforms and read up on mem and you 11 see how your champion is trying to mislead vou " Mr. Editor, this knocked him clear off his pinnicle. VI had ail sorts of fun out of the two fellows until they got off of the train. I scored then! on Bryan's free-silver dream and on nis railroad ownersniD hullabaloo. I pinned them down on the "initia tive and rererendum" and told them they ought to go and live amid the goat-pastures of Switzerland where Mr. Bryan got the idea. The news boy came thru the train with the morning papers and. both of them bought a St. Louis, Globe-Democrat, tninKing 01 course, tnat it was a Democratic paper. When I told them it was the stanchest Republican pa per we3t of the Mississippi, one of them dropped his paper between the seats, and the other crushed his in his hand. They looked like they had been shot at and missed. I laughed at them until my sides hurt me. I believe, honestly, that the Re publicans have the easiest go next year that tney have ever .had in th-i history of the party. The country is convinced mat it won t qo to trust Democratic recklessness. I actually believe that If the voters of Texas could go to the polls untrammelled, they would endorse Theodore Roose velt's administration. I met ud with Democrats everyday who have cut tneir eye-teeth. You are doing a wonderful work with the Yellow Jacet. It is worth more to the Re publican cause, to my way of think ing, than all the other Republican literature that has ever beenxscat- tered over this section. You Mo not mince your words or compromise terms, but preach the straight" old Republican doctrine just like you meant it. If every Republican who takes the xellow Jacket would see to it that every other Republican and a number of Democrats in his section took the paper, he would be doing more for his party than he could possibly do in -any other 7 a. v. I, for one, am 'oiug to so that the paper Is brought to every man's at tention in my county. A movement like thi3 all over the United States would put a million subscribers on your list during the coming cam paign. 0 .. No more for this tlihe. Yours for Republicanism. SOLOMON FLINT. THREATENING PANIC. The same old song. The Demo crats sang it when they elected Cleve land. They are singing it now. It has a hard times whang to it. Read the words as taken red-hot from The Commoner: "Whenever the people show any disposition to. stop the extortion nrac- ticed by the trusts the trust mag nates threaten to bring a panic if they are disturbed. - They learned it from the tariff barons who have for a generation warded off reform by the threat of panic. This is the identical gourd-sawing that the country heard when tho air was filled with tariff reform screams in 1892. "The people had the wool pulled over their eyes so complete ly then that they couldn't distinguish between a good sound tariff argu ment and a balloon inflated with Democratic gas. They went to the polls and voted for Cleveland, tread ing proudly to the deceptive Demo cratic turn turn of "tariff reform!" "Down with the Robber tariff!" "Smash the tariff and yousmash the trusts!" Even stanch Republicans became intoxicated on the Siren song and fell into the ranks of the Democrats, and caught the Demo cratic lock-step and marched like so many wooden men up to the polls and voted like double-action dummies. But the aftermath was the blow that killed father. Everybody that voted for Cleveland and Free-trade were the direct instruments in bring ing on a panic such as this country never saw before. Conditions be came pitiable indeed. Big strong men became as - powerless as babes to make a support. Want stalks abroad in the - land. Once happy homes became desolate. Little chil dren went naked, s and in soma In stances starved to death. It was awful. The Democratic party tried to dodge its ignominy. It tried to mat- the people believe that the samo de pression would have occurred if the Republicans had ba-n elected -Rnt the masses wouldn't believe snr b mt They still hold tha- panic against the Democratic party. v However, tho Democrats i maybe the people have forsrot. Thev propose to trot out tho same hoodco again.. Like the turf man who wins a big purse on a certain horse in a race he will bet on the same hors again but to lose. The tariff issue has proven a winner for the Demo crats in the past-: they figure that it mignt prove efficient again; mere is no good sound reason fnr the coming of another nanlo. in this country. So long as conditions re main as they are now, we will have no panic. But so sure as our in dustrial equilibrium is disturbed, a panic will come. If thero l tn ha any monkeying; with the tariff let Congress do it. It ought not to be a partisan issue. It 'ought to bo a leg islative - question nurelv. Tariff schedules do need changing occasion- any. jet uongress make the change. house steak. We now begin-to vn derstand why the. people down in Georgia have such good- health COO Profanity .we can understand why tt. mean, for it is their nature Q we can understand the motive nf individual who like Lincoln LL?? to illustrate a deep truS by a ny anecdote; but we cannot Jn?n stand the depravity of that Ji abnormity, who profanes the nam of the Creator every other breath It sounds to us like taking worn it virtue and -Divinity's, robes tufl your feet and stamping them iml the mud and dirt.. It brings a blush of shame even to the name of mother for what man who has aught in h, soul but hellishness would cure i his mother's presence? It has got to the place in some circles that an in dividual isn't "in it" unless he curo like a sailor and frowns upon everv thing that is good and noble.1 The small boys have fallen In nne and. to hear them off together Un restrained, profaning the name of God were enough -to make a man with a semblence of modesty ant t grab a club and straighten out tbp rising generation. The boys have not takea on to this foul habit spoa taneously they ar,e only echoing what they hear upon every side. A man with an oath in his lips contaminates the very air he breaths He violates God's law and sinks himl self into an atmosphere where devil hold high carnivals. His brain ia full of the gangreen of immorality and everything that is decent flies from him like affrighted birds. An oath is twin brother to murder, for they are both embraced on equal terms in the . ten commandments. The same God who thundered from Sinai's flaming crest "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain" a4so declared "Thou shalt not kill." The man who putrifies his tongue with foul oaths does not mur der in the sense of taking life, but he slays purity and virtue every'tima he anathematizes God's name. There is a mighty crusade in the country against the drink demon, which is, indeed, a righteous move ment. But let those who would stamp out the colossal evils which are undermining our social structure, not forget that profanity is another evil as iniquitious as drunkeness. This is a beautiful world with the glories of divinity all about us. All nature delights to praise the Creator but depraved man, who takes pleas ure in cursing the Gcd who gave him life. There is not another created thing so mean as to wallow the name of its God in the slime of pro fanity, but man. Man alone is given the power to be an arch-angel or a demon, and yet with his god-like at tributes he would be lower than the brute. No wonder Job's wife said to him, "Curse God, and die." She under stood the profanity route to perdi tion. She knew that it meant suro death. All down the ages to curse God has meant to die. And yet in this enlightened twentieth century men will stand ujl in the face of the Creator and curse him, knowing full well the consequences. A chaste tongue is an index to a chaste life, for "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh." What must be the condition of that man's heart whose tongue is rank with curses against his God? It i3 a reptile's den full of hissing vipers and stinging adders. It is a veritable valley of Hinnom, rotten with the stench of dead carcasses and decayed garbage; a Gehenna on fire with hell's embattled hierarchy. What virtue is to a woman, is a clean tongue to a man. A man who swears in the presence of his fellow man insults every noble instinct of his being. There is positively no ex cuse for usThg profane words when our language is rich in chaste idioms. It is a habit so damnable that it brands its victims with a -curse and chains them to everything that 13 low and grovelling. Stray Stingers "Bad cooking is the cause of 93 per cent of the crimes," says a phy sician. Well, then, it is about time we were, rounding up the cooks. "We need more water," says tne Richmond Journal.- Don't worry. The prohibitionists will see to that the country does not s" waterless. 4. 4. 4. The full name of the man who tYte Rtnnrlard Oil OctOpUS IS Judge Kenesaw Mountain Landis. No wonder he piled his fine mountain high on the oily gang. I 4 4 A New York divine says there are three heavens. L.00K nere, con, you but make it more d10" The. average sojourner nere -vili be. satisfied if he readier j cue of them. 4 4 A Kansas druggist admits that HO BUHL A, VV ,, f last month, and only ?4.o0 worth 01 l 1 j. mt inn .rnh of Wfluw drugs and yet they ten us TTcinoacs ic nroh ihitlon state. Purgatory with such prohibition as that! 4 A well-known physician datog that whiskey is a sure-snuuj- for poison Ivy. Perhaps it -be considered necessary for tne w "blooded Kentuckian auu-- Georgian to plant him an vy right close, by the side of his xnu fced.
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
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Sept. 5, 1907, edition 1
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