Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / Oct. 17, 1907, edition 1 / Page 8
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$ EM TUmi cS i n. i.. Huckleberry Knob Oct. 10, 1907; "Mr. Editor, . j 1 .."' - w v a v . -v a r m ' v . a . . l " a. - promised the readers of the Yettow Jacket that I would make, a report of the Pete Penny rile debate.! Well, j I v. want to be as good as my word, but the trouble is the debate wasn't hilt. Pete flew the track and wentrpossum hunting onthe night set for the de Kato w3, -wnnldn't ever try to hunt possums in. the region of the sc lool house, but Went about five miles over on Fox Grape branch and never came "home till morning. i v I: There was - a good sized crowd at ling of ladies. Pete's friends l:ept insisting that Pete would put in j an appearance, and kept the crowd Wait ing for about an hour, but finally peo ple began to drop off one by one; as the word came in that Pete had gone another way that night. i Thp enbiftpi- Petft had selected was: 'Resolved: That the Democratic party offers better inducements as a governing and enlightening pcrver than the Republican party' i ! V I had prepared me a little speech and was anxious to have a whack j at Pete again, but I had all my trouble -preparing it for nothing. "It had b3en so long since I had given the Demo cratic party a general reviewing t lat I was kinder hungry for the oppor tunity once more.' I wanted , to carry the people back to the days of Demo cratic rule and ask them to live oyer for a few minutes those days. when, it made cold chills run up and. down a fellow's back when he' thought! of that mortgage on his iarm ana tnat levy of the sheriff, and all those other grewsome realities that hung like a cloud of smoke and darkness oyer the people. If Pete had brought up i f the Democracy as a champion of white supremacy, I wanted to shW how many negroes the Democrats had elected and appointed to office in different places. I wanted to cite the negro postmasters that Cleveland -appointed. I wanted to remind bim of the bill that G rover signed that placed the negro and white school children together in the same schosls in the state of New York. In as much as I had heard that Pete said he was going to down me on the matter of the Republican party affiliating w th the negro, I had intended to make my main fight along that line. I was go ing to cite the appointment by Cleve land of that negro Taylor as minis ter to Bolivia, a white man's country. I wanted to mention the appointment of Astwood, another negro, as con sul to Calais, France. Also Taylor, Trotter and Matthews, all negroes, as Recorder of Deeds in Washington, D. C. And that Matthews was later elected judge of Albany, as a Demo cratic nominee, and that he had pow ers as a Supreme Court Judged III Was going to remind him of that "Bryan Dollar Dinner" at New Yofk on April 12th, 1900, at which negro men and negro women were in at tendance. I was not going to atop there. I meant to show that a Dem ocratic president had appointed inje- gro postmasters galor right here near home. If he had never heard of it before I was going to cite the appoir t ment of the negro postmaster it Chestnut Knob, in Virginia; anothsr negro appointed as postmaster it Bluestone. Va.; another at 'Junta, iVa.; another at Barnesville, Vj.1, Whose deputy was a one-legged Co i-, federate soldier. ! - I "MV rrvm-.r,.. x i . ! . ' arouse the feelings of the people ty reference to the negro in politics, bit ....... uwini, 1 1 j ex JBk." ' Ing the boast that his party 1 is the ,to let the truth come out on the Denis A 9 1 ... Tl . f 1 1 . . 1 it n taKes ine niae. if i were a Dem ijbcrat and couldn'e find.no better ar 'jgument to direct at the Republicans ..than that "my party. is the ! whil (jnan's party," I'll just be everlastint i 3y dad-bummed if I wouldn't abah Jdon politics, make me a set of har mess out of grape-vine3 and ! hitJh . atij-ocii. ttiuujioiuc a CiU"-iooted jack- ' ilea nn1 Tiiro nnt tn - - Ti ..vn water tor a V nigger laundry. ' 1 ; IT Mr. Editor, I am sorry, that Pe e .pptered. on .the debate, and I a n pUving In hopes that I may yet smolie -plm- out and give him ' a chance b kef end his party. It is getting tin ik pw tnat we are going to see a greit eal sand in the papers about the r"ory same things I have called attej SIon -to. The Democrats are alwa a . i ready to - raise thee "nigger " racket.. They made it a point in 0- their v last campaign in their charge that Roose velt put a little white girl andV.a negro ;bpy on the platform at Chicago and had them to wave the American flag. - Every little 'democratic paper in the: land repeated that lie till they actually believed it was true. All the prosperity of a Republican administration, the achievements on land and sea, the immense increase of wealth and the impetus given every industry are not. sufficient to dim the riftuioerats' dream. .of negro rule; It is their remedy of last .resprt-;Xt Is the "hellaboloo" that keeps the ''Sol id South." Free silver aod Imperial ism may grow dull as campaign slo-r gans, but "negro domination" has kept its savor. It smells sweet, to a Dem politician when things look squally as to his election, and he goeth out and proclaimeth; It in a new voice, and it knotJketh the per simmon. But I am getting a little lengthy, and the mail, is due, so I will ring off till next issue. Yours for Republicanism, ELI TUCKER. The Devil Writes to the Socialists Hades, Oct. 5, 1907. My Dear Socialist Children: Bless your dreaming, restless agi tating old souls. Don't get worried over your defeats and failures on earth. Remember there is a bright future in waiting for you fellows. I suppose you understand that I an a Socialist up one side and down the other. I believe in dividing up with the other man. Yes, I propose to see to it that a little lazy ' Socialist gets . warm a reception when he comes to neii as ine wiaest-moutnea agitator that ever toured the country in. a Pullman car. What's the use of a Socialist party if it Isn't to give every fellow an equal showing with every other fellow? .But the thimg that concerns us most just now is recruits. We need more adherents. Nothing does me more good than to see the boys a-tumbling,to me. We have a lot of work to do yet before we can carry the United States. I find that the Democrats: are some what in our way, amd I am puzzled to know what to do with them. "I used to place a lot ol cofi4ece ia the Democrats, but they; wanted to be the -whole thing or nothing, so I kinder gave them the bememt to use as they pleased. I uoe4 to think the Dems could beat anything on Use pike when it came to preaching an industrial jdoctrine that wotild reedlt in sending folks to ruin, lrot yo f el- Iows have the Dems skinned a mile. The Democrats have done me lots o goodCin days that are gone, Init their star ' seems to have set for the pres ent. It is true that they captured the .country under the free trade wave", of Clevelandism, and as a re- suit of that trick ther' bromgl on a panic' that made my business hum. but they had to hike it when the Rads came around 'I know the peo ple will not walk deliberately into another Democratic trap for a gener ation at least, so that is one reason why I transferred my headquarters to Socialism. Well, o course I was a good Socialist alll the time, but I hadn't been able to make you fellows see the point ! like I hope you see it now. ' uv ! ' 1 : Socialism ! There is something in that word that goes to the spot. It's the word to knock the persimmon. Why, bless my life If some of the old seasoned church members on earth are not so infatuated with the idea of Socialism that they -would - sooner give up their religion than to part with the Socialist faith. And ! that's what tickles me so well. 1 can see. something ahead when such! people are blowing my horn. You "know I never could depend upon my work being done by men from the riffraff. When I wanted to make' a fatr haul- one that started a Uttle army of sinners roaring to hellI didn't de pend baiting., the trap with : small fish. The plan is to secure the most popular fellow I can get to O. K. my schemftii" - i:T' t : .- much the better.. It tickles me to see so-called Christian people enlisted ""7 oanner of Socialism. Toil see we have got to have ? some re spectable people' Identified : with W Party, or else it will be . a failure. I believe I called "your attention boys, in my letter last May, to one thing- about Socialism . that ;.!, want tciurge. agalp: Tliat' is the - social side of. Socialism. ;Cam not paying anything against; the'doctrine offree' loW" but what I aim after is . this: Wo hav; go itb denounce suchjeases as that fellow Earle who swapped off his wife? v We are going to have the whole Christlait: world on our the 'Very gcewhij;out of us If werdon't -piit bur seal of dis approval on such business. It ,.TrilI be time to begin Uhat business1 after we get ostablished; : If John Ruskin had left off' the practice of free love he wadld have done" more f or.'Social- ism than he'1 did. We all know full well that 'riie "affinity" policy ' of Socialism .will rob marriage of all its samctity' and ' would ultimately bring -about - the. ruin of civilization, but we don't want to go -at it too fast, Let's get the world grabbed. Let's creep into favor, with the respectable part of the world and come at the thing in a more decent way. As pro- prietor of hell in general, I don't want to see a botch made out of a thing. As quick as I learned what Earle was up to I wired Debs arid Wayland to rim a deabie-leaded- red-headed editorial in the Appeal to Reason de nouncing men practice j as the black est crime that ever stained the pages of social history, and the dad-gas ted fools were too cowardly to do it. I also advised Wayland last spring to take steps to have all aose books from the peas of such authors as Engles, Ellis, Allen, Morris, Bar, Wildes and Bebel put in a heap and burned before any mere people read them, or sead them to me' for safe keeping until we get Socialism estab lished in, the United States. Tt looks to me like anybody rwith common sense wevld know better tnan to keep offering to the people such books as those from the authors mentioned. They come out too plain and tell too much. They are all right for such men as Eerie to read, bat they repei more people than they in. If I had gone to Mrs. Eve re citing the bad things that would come as the result of eating t!ie apple she would have ordered me out of the garden post-haste. But, I kept that boeii. and went at her with' the brich sMe of the picture and she tum bled like a yomng porpoise. So what you fellows want to do is to keep everlastingly hammering away at the go-feRMneot. Howl at the oppres sion of labor by capital. Wail at the tyranny of pV toe racy. Denounce the craft and extravagance ol Uncle Sam. Show the beaatfes of Sooialtem to the laborer and tell him bow, under its- beoign tsAoenee, be will receive the product of hts httKM. Tell them all these things and let me take care of tao social sice. I'll fix a place for Eorle in fact, I've got a place al ready prepared. I hope this letter will do you fel lows good. I have written It In a harry and sosaewhat under an em- bmraaesinent. News has Jet reached me-that my last letter to yo fellows by some moans got into that dad- gaetod Y41er Tncket and was sent to the world. Wo must, bo more par ticular with' these, letters and not al low tbera to get misolaced. We nerer canjaake any sort of a show so loot? aa all our private business Is laid bare-faced to the world. Next time, I write you I shall use secret r - ink and yon will have to bring the words out with a red-hot shovel and read whilo the sheets are hot. If you will do this we can possibly keep our private business to ourselves. . Mr next epistle will probably con tain, a OTagsestion by which we can arrange a compromise with the Dem ocrats and all 'get together "on one plank and work together. Burn this letter and look out for my nextJ Yours for Socialism and Demo cracy if we can fuse, . SATAN DEVILu Why in the blazes' aren't the Dem ocratic leaders "pointing with pride" to the history' of the glorious old par ty that got us Into that- awful fix 1 , v about ten years ago? v Why do they prefer to always speak of future tri umphs? They ought to recite to the forgetful old farmers - what fabulous prices they received for their ' stuff under the last Democratic adminis tration. They ought to tell the la boring max what a demand there was for labor then and how easy it was to make money and : pay, debts. They ought to point out "to the merchants what av difficult matter.it' was during those years to sell anything' on credit. rteckon they hadnt thought - of an electioneering Bcheino like this, ratic Great Master .Bryan, we would JustJlike to know where" ;.we.. are, at and what wo!are here for. WTe are worse "befuddled than we were when welast called "upon thy name. .We hardly know which end is. up or. which side foremost. We are bothered. There are "great big black spots before our eyes and we can smell sulphur burninsr. Misrhty chief, what Is the matter? When shall we .see our way clear and feel the sharp thrill that victory will bring to our tired legs? Glorious leader, turn on a little more light. We have read the last issue of thy Commoner and studied the Nebraska State platform, which we take, to be of thy planning. It leaves us In the dark worse than ever. We thought we were for free silver, but-never a word' for the precious metal do we find. We looked for an expression on finance, and behold not a word. We thought we were opposed to the construction of the Panama Canal, and yet we find a plank, favoring the early completion of the canal. We thought Admiral Dewey set to rest the "imperialism" issue the other day when he spoke for the retention of the Philippines," but here your State platform comes condemning the hold ing of the Philippines. i Aln' we in a devil of a fix? Ain't we sailing down the dark alley to oblivion?- . Haven't we fixed our own clock till we can't discern day from night nor winter from summer? Oh, isn't it horrible? Isn't it tough to be everlastingly disappointed and disrupted? And then you say you favor an eight-hour day. What? How in the name of the Great Hopping Toad do you expect us to ever catch, up working only eight hours? We are six weeks behind now and we can't hire labor at any price. Shall we shut up shop and quit? Shall wo ' turn down the orders for stuff that are pouring In upon us and go fishing? Must we ruin our own business to obey the eight-hour plank? Don't it Jook like we are heading blindly to somewhere, or other? Again you declare in -favor of It being required of every party that It makes known where It derives its campaign money from. Oh, Master, wouldn't that put our tails In a stick in Kentucky? How we would hate to have to tell the people that , the Whiskey Trust gave us thirty-five hundred dollars for the state cam paign this year. How it would make the donkey rear up to have 'it posted on its sides that the brewery people were backing the Blue Grass Dem ocracy.' . If we are. coming to the point, Worshipful Master Bryan, that wo must tell where we got it, won't we be in a pickle of a fix. - Master Democrat, forego us the humiliation of this one ordeal. Cut out tnat plank and let us go it flat- footed. y Again, Great Editor, we are about to get tumbled into a mix-up over a leader for next year. Some of our boys are cussing thee to beat ' all sixty..- They say they are Democrats, but th.ey.wHI just be dried-apple damned if they are going to follow a has-been thru the slaughter-house into an open, grave. ? They; won't say who they are fori but they say they can't follow 'thee. Now, Peerless Prophet, we are for somebody or other, we don't know who. "'," - ' . If' thou art going to run again, we are for thee. " If not; then we are for the next best runner, and may the Lord help us to find a man who can run better than Parker and Grandpap Davis. V In next issue of the Commoner tell us where we can find bur dear little free silver baby. And don't forget to tell us IX thou wilt run. - , We' are getting anxious. " : ' W are watering at the mouth ' for a man to holler for. '" , We are ; , shaking at the knees for fear of his defeat, and altogether we are gravitating - from bad - to worse, and our lfkker 13 nearly all gone, V Help! help ! - ere we perish and dry up on ; the i burning ands of despair. and dry. rot, ''.--V . - v' ! Democ Prayer Hffi. WIGGLEUS. TouVe no doubt obserred manT different kinds of poUUcians. You'va sen the turn-coats and tho straight jackets. The venomous copperhead has crossed your path. The fellow-on-the-fence has hailed you. But did you ever accost a wiggier? Ofcoursa you have. You've seen the fellow that talked one way to-day and other way to-morrow; the fellow that talks to suit every crowd he happo into. That's a wiggler. When cor nered on any nroDosItion uus aa adroit way of wiggling out of it Yoa will find the most of them in tha DemocraUc party. Ask one of thesi what he fs geing to do about waltzic up to the polls next year and girin this unprecedented era of prosperity the black-eye, and he'll wigSie say, "J ust wait the present ad. istraiion will make some bust befora tho next elecUon. I I I of course I cannot go back on the Democratic party." Ask one of them what ha thinks of putting1 this country oa a free trade basis, and hell wall hU eyes and dance around awhile and finally say, "Well, It's Democratic, and I'm in for it," The wigglers constitute the down-and-out crowd. They wiggle for issues. They wiggle for pie. They wiggle to get something on the parry In power. They wiggle worse than a barrel of rain-water full of wiggie-talls.- The Democratic leaders, chiefest among whom Is William Jennin3 Bryan, are wigglers for your well trimmed Vandykes. They wiggle up Salt IUver every four years and they wiggle back again to try it over. They get up little wlggly platforms to wiggle votes on. Take up the last three Democratic pronunciamentoes, and you'll find them wiggly affairs. They are wholly unlike. They ara monuments of Democratic wiggling. In one you'll find free silver, in an other imperialism, and in the other you will find issues not hinted at la the other two. Just keep your eyes on the indi cator from now until the polls closa In November, 19 Q8, and youll sea some Democratic wiggling that will make you weep with laughter. Yes, sir, wigglers fits 'em to a gnat's heel. PIE-ROOTERS. Tnere Is no use in talking! Of all kinds of rooters, the political pie-rooter takes the cake. He's as industrious as a red ant and has the patience of Job. He will spend long laborious yean Just for one slice of .political pie. He will lie, steal and sometimes commit murder to get to the pio co muter. You win find the pie-rooter in and out of office. In office, lie fares sumptlonsly ev ery day; out of office, h.e starves and lies to get back in again. You couldn't trust the average pie rooter any' further than you could throw an old army mule by the tail, Land yet a slick one can make you think that ho is another Jesus Christ come back to earth. He can mft black look white, and white black. He can be flat busted and maki you think -ne is a millionaire. He always has a string of yarns tnat-ue delfghta to spin to gain th listening:, ear- in order to make peo- pla think lie's the biggest man oa earth. All parties are cursed with pi?" rooters. Soma "more than others. It Is this breed of cattle that do most -of the devilment. . They are star players at the graft game. Thev are uD-to-date on every po- Utlcar trick that has ever been hatch ed in the human brain. The onlv War to oust the P1- rooters is to make pontics absolutely honest. It is possible we shaU have thesx with us always. It is the duty, however, of everj .honest-man to spot 'em ana at every opportunity. One pie-rooter, in a community -. mmr other cause . more trouBie uiiu. kind of poUtical sinner. -An uproar is what he enjoys. He revels in. feuds. He likes to get neighbors to r" out . with one; another. 'His glory," means .the commu wealth's downfall. in ofilce and you checkmate the ravages of the P rooters.'": .: v . This "is-the only iaray. .v . .y -; - Aino;; ,
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
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Oct. 17, 1907, edition 1
8
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