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CLUB RATES.
Yearly Subscriptions.
Clubs of Four, $i.
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$ ISSUED BI-WEEKLY, S
J SINGLE SUBSCRIPTIONS, g
"J 30 CENTS A YEAR. V
In
VOL. XV.
MORAVIAN PALLS, NORTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY, APRIL I, 1909.
NO. 7.
FIFTY TDfiOUSANB
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Here s a nance ror n-very iea
Money Right at Home. N
Time Need be Sp
READ THE F0LL0
G
Well, boys, we have started out to secure a half million new subscriptions to The
Ytliow Jacket. At thirty cents pet- sub, that means the enormous sum of one hundred and
tiftr -thousand dollars. ow, our propositi on U to give away seventy-five thousand dollars
of this amount to our present readers w&o will help secure the half-million list. and.
,,t this amount to our present reauers wao will help secure the half-million list, and,
Mother, you are one of that number. We invite you to help us. We are coin" to make
you -a SPECIAL. OFFER and see what ydu will Ho. You understand the regular Subscription
prke of The ellow Jacket is thirty ceiits per year. Here is what we propose to do: W
win ;uiun . 5 pine ui miny cents eacn ana send us one
iric of the amount. Ve have figured it out that we can stand it to send the paper at
lit teen cents per year if the list is big enough, and if the subs are sent in in clubs of
six or more at a time. Remember we cannot accept subs at this very low rate unless
as much as a half dozen subs are sent together.
Of course we don't expect you to drap-your regular business and go wild over taking
sui.s for The Yellow Jacket, but we dot expect every one who admires this paper to do
something; get one club at least, i We know you can afford to spend a few hours getting
up a club under this very liberal propos tion. There are, undoubtedly, as many a3 six of
your friends who will gladly give you thirty cents each for twentv-six doses of our remedv
for the blues. Try them and see. f ' And suppose that you take as many as twenty -fire subs
a day. Look at your commission. The e is $3.75 for your part; more, perhaps, than you
rould make at wages in the same (time. And if yon desire to go into the work for a
regular business and travel for the paper, we will supply you with an outfit upon request.
Anyway, we desire tovmake every true friend of The -Yellow Jacket consider that he Is
a duly ' authorized agent for the paper on a commission of fifty per cent, when subs are
vollected at 30 cents each and sent in si:: or more at a time. Remember we mimt 1irv
fifteen cents for every sub. If you collect at
iu eeius pt-r suu. l juu cuouse io accept tnis oner as a money making proposition in
spare moments you will find it no trouble to pick np" pin money at the rate of fifty cents
to one dollar per hour. If you care nothing for the commission and desire to make it a
labor of love, and only charge the subscribers what you send us (15 cents), then you
ought to get everybody in your entire neighborhood to become Yellow Jacket readers.
Now. it don't make any difference w&at yon are, whether preacher or politician, banker
or broker, lawyer or layman, farmer or-1 fisherman, if you are guilty of reading the columns
or tuis paper, euuer m me open or on me siy.
The editor insists that you take at least one
hosnr yourseit enougn to get every lrienu yoa
lieinember the terms In clubs of six or
more
stands wide open till May 30. Whether
interest you take. Don't send postage
check or Registered Letter. Address
stamps.
THE YELLOW JACKET,
SAY, HO, WHAT'S IX A NAME?
By the Delphic oracles all of rem
coming and going, and if we haven't
discovered an infringement on our
name, then blue steel isn't' usee ; in
guns ! The - Yellow Jacket presu ned
that it was the only thing the 6nly
entity, may it please your worsl ips,
except the original insect knowi ' as
the Yellow Jacket in allthese peace
ful states United but, on turning
thru the columns of a recent issue
of the Iron Age, that National news-
find
this article, and reproduce j it in j its
entirety, Yellow Jacket square and
all. The Age says:
Yellow JacKet Blued Stsel Square.
The Southing ton Hardware Company, Southlnkton,
Coun., is manufacturing the Yellow Jacket blued
Med
6quare, No. 18 B, here illustrated. One of the
features
of this product is the .18-Kw-blade and 13-in. toagnel
this
idily
modification In size enabling the user to carry It handily
,1a the suit case style of tool kits or tool chests of
crate size, a square of these dimensions serving
mod-
most
purposes. The blade or body Is l&xlS in tdnguo
I x 12 in.. anOJJie graduations in 1-16, andii la-
Irlt.l-Ml.tif.l.T.l.ni.fil.dTf.ftl.fil-nt.f.Mf.l.ril
Jcllow Jacket Blued Eteel Square
The character of the surface "both protects from cerro
sion and greatly adds to appearance and salabiltty t The
figures and graduations in yellow stand out stri singly
for instant reading against a rich dark bine, anll-nsst,
oxidized, gun metal Cnish, the handsome .effect of which
Is shown in actual colors on a leaflet circular issued.
The goods are sold exclusively by C. E. Jennings ft. Co,
42 Murray street, Nevr York, Mr. Jennings also
being
president of the Southington Hardware Company. I
Well, now, by-gattlings, iH that
doesn't beat the tannin' i bark, off
every dog hide this side of Kalama
zoo. What is the use to think ; you
are the own and only IT when here
comes a firm a-makin "steel squares
and namin 'em after this animate
stinger of Moravian Falls? Cant we
enjoin 'em? Can't we get lout ; re
straining order? Can't we bav the
Democratic night riders of out be
loved Southland send 'em . warnings,
and can't we stop 'em in some way?
"On the square," and is it a square
deal? True, the description reads
something like this paper) might be
described. We certainly carr an
eighteen inch blade, and our tongue
is long enough to make us heard in
every state of this glorious union of
states, and 4f the . hel-roarin' Di nmy
crats will just read it we'll sure keep
'em from corrosion. And it is a
sure thing that we're anti-rustj! and
anti-trust for that matter. .Slued
Steele have it that way if you want
to, but we don't care. We're jgoing
to give the Southington j Hardware
Co., and Mr.4 Jennings the bendfit -of
our half million circulation to let it
be known that The Yellow Jacket
has a square named ; after; it, a id as
it is on the square, believes in a
"square deal" to every man, aid as
it was first to adopt the name, think
ing it was a good -one for a paer as
frisky as this, we are satisfied to
wave all" objections and let tiie. Yel
low Jacket Square come t In for Its
part of the ' glory that must, attach
to it." - - : ' " j "
But oa the level why the divil did
a man want to name -a cold, inani
mate thing like a square, the fellow
Uacket? Let us have some" inform a-
'Want
at Once
Work for Cash
" !
der of The Yellow Jacket to Make
o Clumsy Outfit Necessary. No
t From Regular Business.
MOST LIBERAL OFFER:
ke
on
23 cents each, then your part will be only A
tnen these lines are addressed to vou. and
little whirl at the wheel and land a club
In rorth Carolina, from year's end to year's end,
want to read, the Daner. surelv von can nffortl to
nave on The Yellow Jacket dough board.
at a time, 15 cents per sub. And this offer
it appears afterwards or not depends upon the
Remit by Express or p. O. Money Order,
MORAVIAN FALLS, N. C.
tion, Brother Jennings we really
want to know.
If you ask us why we named our
paper The Yellow Jacket years ago,
we would answer by saying that a
Yellow Jacket is a cleanly insect; it
isn't afraid of the very Old Nick
himself, and it can sting like a dozen
hornets at one sitting. The Yellow
Jacket newspaper is not a misnomer,
but, where, Mn blued steel or blue
blazes, the name fits a square is more
than we can guess till we can hear
from headquarters.
HISTORY.
Judge Parker's harp forever hangs
on the willow tree in New York
State,
As an also-ran he chalks the board,
but the people marked him off
the slate.
THE CHAISCE FOR BULLY BILLY.
Nebraska, after a great deal of
pawing and scraping and some scrap
ping, finally passed a law similar to
the one obtained in Oregon, which
makes the primary plan of electing
a Senator go. It will be recalled that
Senator Charley Fulton was beaten
at the polls; that a Republican legis
lature in order to keep faith with the
people, voted for a Democrat and
elected him.- This was something
new, but as the Republicans were
pledged to it, like they always do,
they carried out their pledge.
In. Nebraska the scheme is to get
the people in line and vote for Bryan.
But that may prove a boomerang.
The last legislature was Democratic.
But suppose the next legislature is
also Democratic, and suppose.it hap
pens that the primaries, by a little
politics, get a Republican named as
the favorite? Then wouldn't the
Democrats cuss themselves. You bet
And the. question irresistibly arises
in the mind of. the man who has
watched the base betrayals r .of De
mocracy, would the Democrats vote
for a Republican if their beloved Wil
liam was to be forever shelved by
the proceedure? We are not saying
but if we were in the business of
betting, we would take a flyer to the
effect that they would disregard all
law to land him.
The history of the Democratic
party, ever since itbecame guilty of
playing the Samson act, runs to the
effect that with it nothing is sacred
except States' Rights and f ree . whis
key.
If Nebraska happens to go Demo
cratic, then you can bet your last
smooth nickel that it will vote Demo
cratic in its legislature. If f it hap
pens, as it is liable to happen, that
an anti-Bryan feeling comes , up . in
the Democratic party, then there will
be a family row, and it looks like
Nebraska Democracy followed in the
foot-steps of one Mr. Hamen who
builded a gallows and hanged himself
on it. - :
Yet we shall look towards the
wide, wild West two years hence,
with some little interest, just to see
what does happen, j The Oregon
novelty in the mean time will not be
considered binding.
SURE, MIKE.
It seems to be felt in the air,
- That Big Bill Taft will run some
more;
And he will make the run for fair
And slaughter Billy B. galore!
PRETTY SOON
When Billy Bryan runs again,'
'Twill be but three short years from
date
The bellyaching and its pain
Will be felt in every state.
A BAD DREAM.
Once in a while we dream a, little
after a hard day's work of skunk
skinning. The other night we had
one on that alarmed us, but when we
awoke we rejoiced to know that what
we saw was, indeed, nothing but the
baseless fabric of a dream.
It was this way: We dreamed that
we had long since passed to glory.
We were in Heaven and having a
good time, surrounded by .Republi
cans not a solitary dinged Democrat
was inside. But we were approached
by a very good looking angel who
said that inasmuch as we had helped
swell the population of Heaven by
reforming Democrats before they
were eternally damned, it was ordered
that we be given a little attention,
and that we could descend, our spirit.
to the earth and look over things
terrestial all afternoon, ju4t so we
got back by bedtime. A guide would
accompany us, and with joy we ac
cepted the invitation.
After a dip in the clouds of a few
minutes we were like greased light
ning, we struck the United States.
And we were apalled. It seemed
that the Democratic party had gotten
into power during our absence and
reigned four years. In every city we
saw great monuments to men, and we
inspected them and saw they were
statutes of Democrats. We saw all
the Democrats you ever heard tell of.
Jn fact it seemed that parks and
streets were literally lined with 'em
looked like arf'old pine forest at a
distance
'We investigated and saw Ben Till
man with a pitchfork in his hand in
seven thousand different parks.
We saw Billy Bryan done in all
kinds of stone, declaring that you
couldn't "crucify mankind on a cross
of gold," in twelve thousand places.
We saw Jeff Davis, of Arkansas, rid
ing in a gold-plated automobile, done
in stone and brass and bronze. We
saw Jerry Simpson, sockless and for
lorn. We saw Willie Hearst labelled
"He finally came into camp and died
a bad Democrat," spriilkledl from
New York to San Francisco. We saw
all the. old brigadier generals, includ
ing Early and BureaguaraTTjf -lottery
fame; we saw the original Jeff Davis
and Bob Toombs and Preston and the
whole outfit of rebels who conspired
to destroy .the Union, in brass and
bronze and gold. We saw Eugene
Debbs and all his Socialistic friends
who had also joined the Democratic
party before death, and we inquired
of our guide what it meant. We were
told that when the party happened
to slip into power it voted away all
the money of the Nation on tomb
stones and monuments, and thus
wanted to perpetuate the great fugle
men who had tried so long to ruin
the country. We were told "that they
knew they would never be in power
again, and while they had their hands
in the Nation's pocketbook lt was
business to get all possible. It was
at first proposed to build a thousand
bronze monuments to Bryan's cruci
fixion speech and then each congress
man and representative demanded
that his constituents wanted a monu
ment and after the gates were 'opened
they busted the whole bedraggled
country in building them. It may be
that our guide didn't use exactly this
language, but this was the import of
it.
About this time we awoke and went
out and looked around and fervently
thanked God, the Creator of all
things (but those Democratic monu
ments), that we had been dreaming.
DON'T THIS JAR YOUR SLATS I
We note where a professional, lion
tamer, a lady or a woman, it doesn't
matter, has sued her husband, for a
divorce. She sets up a claim that
for eleven years she has been a pro
fessional lion tamer and supported
herself and husband, and that he
abuses her and struck her. Think of
that. Imagine a woman lion tamer
who can't tame her own husuand, ana
he doubtless a Democrat. Strikes us
that if a woman who wasn't afraid of
a lion would take a common man by
the slack of the pants and churn the
livin lights out of him. We would
just as soon think of going into a
matrimonial alliance, with a female
wild-cat as to think of talking baby
talk to a lion tameress. Why, bless
your soul, John, d'ye think we'd get
within thirty feet of a female lion
tamer? Not on your looking glass
we wouldn't, and here comes one up
the pike, coy and demure, and sets
up under oath that her husband has
abused her. We can't believe it. To
Halifax with romance and history if
a female lion tamer can't take the
wadding out of a common man.
Trio fipnrria Daughters of the Con
federacy have decided to erect "the
Werz monument ai Anaersonvuie.
TTnfnrtnnate Andersonville. To think
the very ground that was hallowed
with the blood of those Union sol
diers that Werz starved, must sup-
A. A. m .
port a monument 10 sucn a tyrant:
Our Letter
BUCKIE REFERS TO THE JACKASS
CALCULATED TO RESTORE THE BLUSH TO BILLY'S
CHEEKS. OTHER MATTERS.
(From Tort Huron, Midi., Sunday News.)
Wm. Jennings Bryan,
The Paramount issue, that was,
Lincoln, Nebr.
Dear Old Counterfeit Bill:
The Commoner, volume 9 No. 9,
reached me this morning. And I see
the question, Bill, is up again, who
wins the mule? And the Commoner
thinks that Esmeralda County, Nev.
gets the mule. And last week, the
Commoner thought that the mule
went to Ohio. But, as Tom Johnson
is going to run again for the fifth
time, we don't think it will be neces
sary to send any more jack-asses to
Ohio, -although Tom is only one run
ahead of you now and he's fooling
them as .bad as you have been, with
roast pig on the side.
But referring back to the jackass
proposition (Willie) we've about made
up our mind that every state that
sent a delegation to Denver, crazy
with the idea that you were the peer
less one, are all entitled to a prize
jackass. And E. O. Wood, national
committeeman, and John T. Winshlp,
state chairman, are entitled to a
whole bunch of jackasses. And I
notice by the daily papers. Bill, that
you are sore upon the cabinet select
ed by President Taft. We don't
blame you a durned bit. After you
had selected as fine a bunch of
nonenitles as ever went up against a
chop suey lunch, for the same posi
tions and then have the common peo
ple throw you down cold Is too much.
And right here we have to pause and
weep. Now wait a minute, Bill, until
we wipe our eyes. There now, we
are composed again.
And I view with pleasure, not with
alarm, dear Bill, that you have a few-
more bargain counter paramounts
marked down from $1.9S to 37 l-2c
and you get stuck if you get one.
And I have- often wondefed. Bill, how
you could get so many paramount
Issues in your system aud this week
I see that you let the following ooze
out of your system:
STRIKING AT THE TRUSTS; THE
OREGON PLAN IN NEBRASKA;
THE SOFT PEDAL' TRIPLETS; RE
PUBLICAN EXTRAVAGANCE ; and
several others.
And it has often bothered me, dear
Bill, how you could store up so many
isms In your cocoanut, without bust
ing your boiler. And you must be
a regular old circus calliope, and
pump them out of you, as you run.
Now Bill, listen. "You oughtn't to
get chesty because the President
selected MacVey and Dickinson, two
good Democrats, not of your kind.
Bill because wo said Democrats, to
represent a great people In running
this government. You know. Bill,
there is some class to those kind of
Democrats and as those men left
the Grand old Democratic party in
days gone by, their places were not
filled by men " equally as large but
lightweights crawled in and rattled
around in the hole made vacant by
the Gold Democrats leaving the party
in droves, when you became its great
leader.
I notice by the daily press, that you
refuse to gulp down the Idea, that you
are a descendent from the monkey.
And we don't know as we blame you
for the stand you have taken, and we
would rather think that you were an
ascendant instead" of a decendant.
We are prompted In thl3 opinion and
this conclusion, by the magnificent
monkey you have made of the Demo
cratic party, and the progeny that
you have scattered over this mun
dane sphere, with the brand of Bry
anism stamped In their Intellect has
made Darwinism something to talk
about. And while, the seed of Bryan
ism has abort run out you have all
ancient history beaten to a "frazzle-
GETTING CLOSE TO GEORGE.
With all his many millions old J. P.
Morgan seems to want something and
It really looks as though, he didn't
know just what it Is. He has gone to
the Old World a score and more of
times and bought, at prices that would
shock the nervous system of Midas,
old prints and old manuscripts, and
most any old thing that really had the
moss of ages clustering to It.
But the latest venture wa3 when
he purchased, for spot cash, at a price
of course fabulous, the sword once
owned by George Washington. Just
what old Jupiter Pluvius Morgan
and he must be Pluvius because of the
great amount of water he gets into
his stocks, wants with a sword owned
by a man who never told a lie we can
not imagine. We somehow can't" get
it 'through our storage house of
thought. Morgan certainly does not
envy a man who never told a lie, be
cause if he did he could come In as
an Eleventh Hour man and repent
and stand some chance of being saved.
In this world. If a man expects to be
an angel In the next, he must get
ready for wings. There will be no
plain clothes angels you can put that
to "Bill."
PROPOSITION IX A WAY TnAT IS
on making a monkey of the common
people.
And I also notice. Bill, In the daily
papers that in your speech before
three thousand people in Chicago,
you stated that you did not care how
much money a man made, as long cs
he made it honestly, which causes us
to rise and remark, dear Bill, "where
does honesty end and larceny com
mence." By your smooth tongue and
oily words, you have been unable to
notice that you have been hit with a
brick three times, and each time -the"
swat was a little harder, but you
declared a dividend each time just
the same. Now Bill, do you think it
is honest to work the people by your
chatter? Do you think it is square
Bill, for you to be a continuous can
didate for president? Do you think
It is square. Bill, to use the Demo
cratic party for advertising purposes,
to further your lecture engagements?
Do you think It is fair to work the
common people with the Commoner,
and stuff into their noodles balloon
juice, like a ratio of 16 to 1 and other
dope that the unsophiscated like to
eat? No, Bill, we never thought you
would rob a bank, because your tools
of trade puts you next to lots of the
"long green" that's a less hazardous
occupation than a jimmy and a dark
lantern on a dark night. We knbw
that you'd like to be Senator, Bill,
from Nebraska. We know that you'd
like to be President. But you never
will, Bill. And it will never be neces
sary for you to take any stimulants
for your jnodesty, as you have made
great, big, strong, healthy Democrats "
blush with shame at your arrogance
and egotism. You have driven the
intelligent, sober thinking Democrats
of the past, either into silence or the
Republican party, and you are still
unsatisfied with the havoc you have
wrought, in the once grand old party,
that Is now a physical and mental
wreck. And In the comprehensive
hence, ages ahead.they will refer
back to the Bryan era and deny
that any of their descendants were
created in the Bryan age as you
repudiate the beginning of the race
from the monkies.
And when I think, dear Bill, of
that crowd yelling for over an hour
In Denver for you, I am constrained
to believe that- you are not a de
cendant but "de real monk" that can
draw the rubes.
Now, I notice In the Commoner,
that Chas. Donahue, mayor of New
Richmond, Wis., wants the Common
er placed In every household to edu
cate the common people. Bill, that's
a mistake. The people know toocl d
much about you now but as long as
you can sting them Bill, as a profes
sional candidate, as a business propo
sition, we don't blame you a bit.
And I don't see any grounds that
you have got. for a divorce from the
Democratic party that Is now, not
that was, for non-support as you
have lived high by using the poor
old remnants of Democracy for
spending money. But I'd think -that
the party has good grounds for sepa
ration from you. on the grounds of
infidelity as you have trifled with
the affections of Miss Democracy for
twelve years, and now refuse to
marry the girl, or give her a chance
to get another aflinity.
And, Bill, as I write these few
lines, tears again come to my eye3
over the slaughter you have made, a
a perpetual candidate of disorganized
and disgusted Democracy.
With kind and loving regards to
Brother Charley and the dog. I am
as ever.
Your true, loving friend
BUCKIE.
down as a true bill. The Democrats
who have died and gone to the bad
place have found that out, and that's
why we want to try to save the living.
But J. P. Is In a bad way. He has
made so much money that he Is miser
able. He wants something that no
other man has. That's why he wears
his nose decollctte and why it looks
like a night blooming "serious." He
spends millions for Bobby Bums
manuscripts he reaches out for origi
nal paintings by the masters, and now
he becomes decidedly military and
buys the sword used by George
Washington at Trenton and Valley
Forge and other places
But these heavy pursed fellows who
got their money by skinning tae pub
lic must do something with It. They
must let loose and If It does a man
any good to have an old rusty sword
hanging around that cost a few thou
sand let 'em have 'cm. And if any
body wants some old manuscript,
written by Bobby Burns, and 3 will
ing to pay fabulous prices, why, that'
up to them, but our waste basket of
ten Is filled with as good "atnph" as
Bobby Burns wrote when he was
drunk and the "stuph" he turned out
when sober has been printed la all
kinds of editions, so what's the uxs to
rave over the original.