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3 A . r . if -... jr-j ... ', 'i . it: .'i i : 'us IK 5. St --7 - - ' 9 - : L'V". 3" & v. is .4 I i j , 1 , ? 5rli P. 4 t it i 5 : -1 5 I- i. Questions and Answ ers Who was Belshazzar? M. J. W. He was king of the united empire of Assyria and Babylonia and j one night with a crowd of drunken Eemo cratic Night Riders of Tennessee got full and gave a supper. Bryan wrote a warning which appeared or the wall and it made Ejelshzzar treiible. That is where we get the expression of the hand-writing on I the wall. Bryan threatened to run again. This was in 543 B. C, which shows that even in those days Bryan made 'em tremble when he ran for office. Who were the Magi? They were priests of the Persian ward and presumed to be wise Tliev originally demanded a nlatform when Parker ran for Bresi dent, and it is thought that among other things, defeated him, but ker has never yet acknowledged he was defeated. Who was Zoroaster? .,; He was an editorial writer on an's Commoner, and afterwards Par- that Bry- kvent to the Appeal to Reason, slle wrote roasts on the well-ordered condition of things and roasted the captains of industry because they had enough nioney to pay their board. Origihally he was Z. O. Roaster, but pfeople didn't think he was worth initia they called him Zoroaster. What is a mummy? I s so A mummy is a moss-grown Demo crat that can breathe and drinH ! lik-J ker ctod cussJ the country, j He is in all states and generally j gets up enough animation to vote for I ryan once every four shears. All mun mies are Democrats, but all Democrat s are not mummies. Those not! mun mies we expect to see voting the Republi can ticket next go-round. ; What is Mythology? It is a Denver platform as written by William J. Bryan. It n eans something explaining myths. Who was Nestor? He was a venerable old niaii re nowned for his wisdom who told Bry an not to run. But as is known, Bryan never heeded his advice ! and got under the Republican pile-driver and was pounded into the earth. Who was Pluto? He was a Democrat who died early and went below to open Democratic headquarters for the shades came after him. The Democrats W-ho who find that the Republicans make it hot enough for them here will also find that Pluto will make it hot enough for them there. . Who was Ceres? She was the goddess of corn li patronized by Democrats. What was ambrosia? Well, as, we understand it, it kker, was food for the gods, and was something like the near beer they have here in North Carolina. Who was Nemesis? She was a lady goddess 1 who ged Governor Haskell. Who were the harpies? ! flag- ,,They were the rooters who always attended Democratic conventions and yelled for Gineral. Jackson, j Who was Charon? He was a wretched old j man ran a ferry boat and who 1 still it across the river of death,1 and day he is going to take i old who runs pome John Rockefeller by the slack of the pants and carry him across. Other questions answered next is- A GREAT QUESTION SETTLED. The woman suffragests in America still want to vote, and when a man in pants tells them that i good women could vote it wou male the d be all right; that granting suffrage to women means all the women and therefore the vicious and depraved old girls would not only, vote but flaunt their painted and brazen mugs mto the faces of good women! the strong-minded will not admit it to be a true bill. Because a male "man had said that the bad women of Denver, suffrage being equal in Colorado, i controlled the elections there, Alice Blackwell, of Dorchester, Mass., comes out in a card in the JSTew York Sun and denies it. She quotes from a minister who said: j j "That class of women in any! city f the United States constitute only an infinii esimal part of the female population, and in Denver the vote of this class is practically limi ted to three prescincts out of 120." ; Now, Alice thinks that ends it. Alice should know that a minister, if he keeps m his ministerial bailiwick,, wouldn't know a bad woman i : she called on him and asked for pn yers: The Denver women vote anc the question arises: What have the dear ones accomplished in Colorado and Wyoming? Have they bettered their condition? Not a bit. Some df.the ambitious ones hold office; some of them gad about the polls and hobnob with bold, bad men who are Candi dates. Some of them let the cobking go and the hubby, sits down fto a cold snack a week or so befori and after an election; the dirty-face i kid enjoys his dirt longer than in well regulated households, but 1 what un der the bloominv charter of any old place, has the ballot done for women? It hasn't elevated her; she hasn't cut likker out of the catalogue. Indeed, in Colorado and Wyoming wher 3 wo men enjoy the ballot, there has been less whiskey legislation than ir. any other states in the tfnioni Trie, in Denver many have the Brvan bahit- they remember him for his wild- dp. inand for free silver, silver being a staple crop and the big crop of that wumry, ana naturally mine oVners wanted Uncle Sam to place a price on me only commodity they had to sell. i. But what has suffrage a really should a woman want hB kJ j Why with a responsibility that cadi p0s. That is what we would like to know, and at the same time ; we want it understood that we are spilling no tears or tearing no shirts about the matter. The way some ; of these fool Democratic men vote sometimes makes us sorry for the race, but if women want to dabble, just to be dabbling, let 'em say so but don't let 'em tell us how they would re form the world, when the facts bob up in ghost-like forms to show us that morally the country where they vote is worse off than the country where they 6 not vote. I SOMETIME. When Andy gets his spellin' in And all the women get to vote 'Tis then the pigs will fly the air And jackasses will bray by note. HIDING BEHIND A NOM DE PLUME. Recently there appeared in that bright luminary, the New York Sun, a letter from Atlanta, signed "A Southerner," in which it was pointed out that if Judge Taft wanted the South to stand by him he must ap point "Dimmycrats" to office. This is a paragraph in the letter: "If Judsre Taft will remember that "South ern Democracy' is ii misnomer and means 'prooil. safe, honest government, nml place men in office who have the respect and coniidence of their neighbors, he will find the South will stand by hiui." , In other words, the so-called "Southerner" thinks in his compressed soul that no Republican" is good enough to hold office in the South. He wants Taft to take the Democrats who have cursed the Republican party, always, and select from it men to fill the places which carry salaries. It is notoriously true that the upper case Southern Democrats never want an office unless there is a big salary fixed to it, and when a position is to be filled that carries no Salary, a nigger is good enuff to please the whites. The "Southerner" makes .the one fatal mistake of prejudging all Republicans. He wants the white man to walk up and have things like he had them "befoah the wah," for listen to this paragraph in the same letter: "A very old Georgian desired to be post master In- his native town. He was Indorse! by every respectable citizen lu the town, by his Congressman- and Senator, yet with nil this it was necessary for him to seek the indorsement of a negro officeholder in Wash ington before he could secure the position. With this condition, of affairs, au Judge Taft be surprised when he meets the true people of Georgia that they, are glad to see him and to know him as they "wish him to know them?' There you have it in its true color ing. Not a cloud hangs between the fact that the "Southerner" doesn't want to comply with the Constitu tion; he wants to have the office handed to him on a silver platter, and he wants the Republicans to in sist that he condescended to take it. Suppose that a nigger in Washing ton, clothed under the law with a high office, felt that he should have something to say about the loaves and fishes down his way. Would it be so very humiliating for this Old Georgian to ask Sambo to write his name? No, it wouldn't but a South ern Democrat who wants to advise Taft what to do through the columns of the New York Sun would see the office and the nigger further in hell than dynamite could blow them be fore he would ask a nigger to do him such a favor. And the Southerner has that right. All Democrats have the right to do that except now and then there are niggers selling their votes and Mr. Southern Democrat doesn't hesitate a minute to buy 'em if he can. He will even ask a nigger to vote for him hut to-go before him with a petition and say, Please, Sir, sign this for me never, no never, not on your tin-type, your photo, your enlarged portrait, would he do it. Why? Because the nigger was once his chattel and that i the end of it. To show that th! gentle "South erner," writing the Sun, is afflicted and dangerously so, with nigger phobia, we need only cony -one more paragraph from "hi5 mare's nest, which is as follows: ; "It is to be hoped that the time is coming when the white men and women of the South will feel it an honor to visit the White House without the fear of meeting socially, nooker Washington or any other negro being lionized for political capital and gallery playing." That is the meat in the cocoanut. That is the seed in the gourd. The Democrats down in Georgia would promise to be good and vote for Taft now and then on the sly, provided, of course, Taft eliminates the nigger from office; cuts him out from official recognition and takes the Southern Democrat by his lily-white hand and presses him to his bosom and de clares to him that he is It.. All men know now, if they did not at the time it was alleged to have happened, that Booker , Washington simply visited the White House. It is known that for a nigger Washing ton is a big man. He is doing a great work among his people, and the President was glad to see him; glad to see any man that was elevating a helpless and ignorant race. Wash ington arrived after regular hours for lunch. He was simply given a snack as a million other niggers have been given snacks at the back door of the white man. He wasn't dined in state; he wasn't present with any other guests, and as he sat there with his possum in, one hand and an official report in the other, Roosevelt and Washington talked it over. That was all there ever was of that incident that drew forth so much red fire from the South. Booker Washington would not want to make an ass of himself he is . one nigger .who knows his place ana Keeps it. But this Atlanta patriot who haps is already fishing in deep water ior a Dig plum, wants it undersfnrw that if he goes to the White House he doesn't want to run into;Wash!nec ton. How many chances would he have taken, say in the seven years .w j.wwwAcMs wuiwai iue.r uniy once was that incident supposed to " have happened. Therefore this great scrib bler from Atlanta,, could have gotten a chance. Roosevelt was in office two thousand five hundred and fifty five days and Washington was there one time. In other words, the At lanta man stood one chance in over twenty-five hundred, of meeting the nigger who doubtles knows more, in a minute than the Atlanta patriot will ever know. Anyway, when Booker writes for the New York Sun, as he frequently does, he signs his name to it, and that's more than this elegant "Southerner" from Atlanta does. These fellows down South who are showing Taft how to run things and insisting all the time that he must choose nice, fresh, dried, old aristo cratic Democrats; denying that the Republicans down South have any standing and insisting with might and main that no nigger must be recognized, make us very weary. All readers of The Yellow Jacket know where we stand on the nigger question, we never defend Jthem, but we do oppose this gratutious advice dished out annonymously by Democ racy when its burden is that only Democrats South of the line, are re spectable enough to hold office. We just know better that's all. DELMAS' UNWRITTEN LAW. When Delphin M. Delmas, the fa mous western lawyer, defended Har ry K. Thaw, the 'possum grinning imbecile, for a hundred thousand dol lars, he naturally blossomed Into National fame. He talked about the unwritten law the law that half baked sentimentalists allow to con trol them when they are returning a verdict concerning the murder of some lust-eaten rake who was punc tured by a discarded mistress, and because he gave it the high-sounding name of "dementia Americana," Del mas became popular enough to be in vited to. make speeches "on occa sions." He was in Kansas City re cently, talking to the bar association, and among other things referred, it seems, to the fact, that he named the unwritten law dementia Americana. This aroused the Ire of one Dr. Cyrus Townsend Brady a very long name for a gentleman so recently discovered, and he pummelled 'ell right out of the big-salaried lawyer. He said it was an insult to the coun try to invite big paid fellows who de fended the degenerate aristocracy to come blowing about a new name he had bestowed upon murder. So it created a little ripple even In Kansas City, where the pork packers and other grafters run things their own way. If Dr. Cyrus Townsend Brady had a name about a half yard shorter, or, if he would use buthalf of what he has, we would be rnclined to "jine" in with him and tell the parson to whoop 'er up. The unwritten law will always ob tain. But when a man .can get a hundred thousand dollars for defend ing it and urging it, it is time some parson with an empty stomach called down the custom. Harry Thaw is perhaps suffering with several kinds -of dementia, and the fact that he killed White was a good thing but before God, it makes us tired to see the American people falling over each other toN hear a man talk who happened to be a law yer who defended the scattering and weakened spawn. It makes us won der how long will it be until the freaks of America hold the boards. It makes us shudder to know that a man can rush out with his night clothes on and attract a crowd where intelligence, learning, modesty and decency would play to empty benches. Mr. Delmas was a very good lawyer but his fame seems to rest on one nVirnoo Vo nntriorl tr rl o f n n rl Harrv Thaw. If that be the measure of greatness, then the phrase-makers had better get to work, and as the Reverened Dr. Cyrus Townsend Brady said, let us call U "Delmasia demen tia" and quit. Bijly Bryan electrified the Nation with one little phrase which he got from the Congressional Record, and the Nation in some quarters is yet convlused. Bryan never really ut tered anything great he simply has a wind mill on his thinking apparatus and the best pair of lungs on earth. And yet, if Mr. Delmas can make a hundred thousand while Dr. Cyrus Townsend Brady makes twenty-five cents, who shall say that Delmas is not the man with the parsnip? Buy a copy of "Hot Stuph," lend it to your Democratic neighbor and re claim him. 1 i HE WAS 3IIXED. A man sometimes allows his eloquence to get the better of him, and especially is that true of a nig ger who wants to grandstand it. Re cently in Louisiana, Bishop Lampton, in addressing his race on tha pro tection of womanhood, said: "I stand ready to go with the whites to-day right into hell to protect a woman, white or black, gainst a fiend." Now the Bishop should re member that there is no danger of a good man going to hell if he is de fending a helpless woman from a black ravisher. And he should also state what kind of a "fiend" he means. If he -means a cigarette "fiend" or a dope "fiend" or a fiend incarnate who violates a woman's person to gratify his lust. But we take it the Bishop hasn't been pulpiteering long enough to get the Talmage swing to his pro jectiles. f WHEN HE GETS TO HEAVEN. St. Peter: But you said your name was Bob Glenn. The ex-Governor: I didn't say it Those d d reporters misauoted me. My name is Robert B. Glenn. : WHAT WILLIE THINKS. And still, you know, if-they want me In 1912 to try again Why, I will look around and see If I can't take It without pain. If you would enjoy seeing a Demo crat shed hispolitlcal skin, buy "Hot Stuph" and loan it to him to read this Spring. Full directions how to read for the best effect are found in the Preface. WHAT DO YOU THIN K OF THIS I Mrs. Charlotte Perkins Gllman, in New York just the other day gave rein to her thoughts and handed down a package on Socialism that certainly, In some quarters, will call for another Socialistic party. She cavorted; she dipped on her side; she sailed through several ways and finally made this astounding propo sition: Hark ye: "The subject at the morning meeting ws What Effect Will Socialism Jlare 0:1 the Home! Mr. Oilmau Mid it tU.hVt fvra to her that the home aa it existed to-day w such a Katlsfjrinc institution that there should be nny uiontmient.nl fear in rrjrard to its being: chaujred. It tvaa ueld together, continued, larcely by economic causes Women were bound to it as a means of support, men vrere hound to support it and children were bound to it in the same way that the women were, and errn more rlo-elr because of their greater helplessness. Women were absolutely the prop erty of men w ntutU so that eren to live present day the niarrjaee ceremony In ropne In this country contains the question "Who elves till woman to her new twrr? Social ism. continued Mrs. fillman. would f.ltrr this uuhappy state of affairs by clrins all mothers a claim on the State c-ltl.cr in the form of mix allowance for the maintenance of each child or by otherwise provlilinj for the children." Now then, bigosh, take that along and chew on It when you feel hungry for something In the way of dyna mite. Women the property of men and every day and all the time men are putting pistols ' to their brains and scattering the gray matter all over the lawn because some woman or other has given them the marble heart. Women the property of men down on their knees to 'em begging and imploring 'cm to come back and receive another beating. Women the property of men and men always thinking about 'em and allowing them to spend millions for Merry Widow hats and gew gaws and long trailing dresses. Great Scott, Char lotte Perkins G., what, In Samhlll are you crooning about? We know, and all bald-headed men know, that you are talking through your shaker. Woman absolutely dominates man. She ever has hlm on the run. But that Is not all. Mrs. Gllman wants the state to come in1 and guarantee her a living provid ed she brings children into the world. She wants the lazy lout not to be responsible for his lust or love whichever It may be. She wants the home turned over to the state. She wants man to escape responsibility and then has the nerve to say Woman is the property of man. Let Charlotte Perkins. Etc., go out and look. Let her behold man cringing and creep ing in the presence of the dame who wants to hold him down, and she will see that Man is the property of woman. Now if Mrs. Gilman Is talking about some of these female wild cats who got mixed in the woman's cage, it may be that man owns her. He is trj'ing to subdue her, but let the woman be womanly; let her take time to wash her dirty face; let her keep neat clothes on her precious body, and she owns the man. If the man is a drunkard and a rake, then she Is a sorry woman who will stand for it three minutes. Woman brjlds the key to the situation. It doesn't take Socialism, and it doesn't take law to rule a home where love abides. If the partnership is simply a con venience the man marrying the wo man for a cook and a mistress, and the woman marrying the man for a place to sleep and the chance for something to eat then S6cialism or nothing else won d make matters bet- ter. But this last Idea of Mrs. Gilman certainly takes the bakery. SHOULD THE LINE BE DRAWN V u Strikes us that It was a very dan gerous precedent established by Judge Anderson in the federal court ill Chicago, when he squashed the panel of 150 men because they were farm ers, to try to case against the Stand ard Oil. The Judge is quoted as say ing that he wanted to give all parties a square deal, but "This case is tried in a. district composed of an enormous commercial city and several rural counties. The country may bare purer air. higher moral standards and fjreatcr Intel licence than the city, but that is an open question. lloweTer. 1 am not groins ontside the issue when I say that if the jury were com posed partly of business men who would realise the sreat Industrial ami commercial phase of the case, a more satisfactory and Just Terdict may be reached." Well, now, Sonny, we are going to take a fall-out. with the learned jurist. We are going to let it appear that he had a right, an undoubted legal right, to do what he did, but we are going to insist that' if the federal court goes into the business of. ar raigning the classes against class, the sub-structure of our government falls. Judge Anderson went a long ways when he intimated that a farm er or a laboring man couldn't give a fellow brother justice. He says be cause the Standard Oil Company is a. big commercial concern a devilish big concern, too, he might have said, and law-defying and not God fearing, he must get men . interested In com mercialism to sit on the jury. How does that strike us when we read the constitution? Is he getting the thing down literally? Does he In fact want a jury of its peers to try It? That means, then, as we view it, and "with alarm ,' that if a man is accused of murder and is notori ously guilty by reason of his past conduct, you mustn't bring In any churchmen to try blm but you must go out and find a jury of his peers twelve good murderers and true to return a verdict. And that verdict 'would .be for acquittal because we know that there is honor thieves. If the thing is going to be that , jury of rapists must try a man -r cused of rape; a jury of murdered must try a man accused of taure -i--a jury of grafters and vultures r - ' try thevStandard Oil Cornpanv ' good bye the hope of justice T' is serious talk. We are of opinion that a jury t-. farmers would return a verdict : accordance with the evidence, i? V our belief that a jury of Lib- -would give the devil his due. arV are of opinion further that Jt. -Anderson, If he did what he is p, " j as doing, made a serious r.r.J 1 mistake. That was clearly arr. j -; -class against class; it was c!- saying that In this country x) ',,. were two classes of men r.r.d only the rich and prosperous si, ? try the rich and criminal rich. Be It known that The Yellow Jr.tls- has never been accused of havin- : Bryanesque bellyache; it isn't a howler of calamity nor dors it I - -"Heve fa much of the clap-trap xts-i by -the wind-jammers, but it Is tit enough and honest enough to sr, that In its opinion Judse Andero'i has raised the devil and it wrs a sorry day when he squashed ih panel. TO ItEPE.VT IIISTOUY. When Samson, the strong man. found that his Delilah had u:r::? 1 him over, betrayed him, he beta:::? desperate. He was placed in prison and at the right moment pushed asuU the pillars of the massive structure and let the house fall down killing all the Philestines you might be look ing for, but bringing death to himself. He knew It meant his death, but hi a desperation born of revenge. ht cared nothing for that. So he liv.M and died a weakling, although siro::s physically. When the Democratic party saw that Populism and Socialism were taking its very vitals; appealing to the Imbecile and weary who had al ways been Democratic, that party of historic name concluded it would de stroy itself and wipe out all that might make for the parties which hud decimated it. It simply, after a debauch of well nigh sixty years, voted out whiskey. It drank the saloons running dry, and then turned In and pushed out th pillars and the house fell down. Lin ing the Democratic party as der.d r.j a door nail. Without whiskey there can be r.o Democratic party. That is as true a bill as was ever presented by the court of public opinion. Whiskey and Democracy were always hand in hand. When the South saw that it must perforce go Republican it con cluded It would not be Democrats who turned the coat but It simply drank the bar room dry and then voted to abolish history. It did-the Samson act, but it didn't kill anybody but Democrats. Yon take an erring Democrat and take whiskey away from him and he soon reforms.- He becomes a Republican and a useful member of society. It Is history. It is unchallenged. Ten years from to-day and you won't see a Democrat in the South. The hide-bound and moss-covered will be gathered to their fathers or they will be at the head of a new party calling for the re-establishraent of bar-rooms. Democracy cooked her own goose. The Republican party will not ride the horse in the South. The Republican party does not of necessity advocate prohibition. It never advocated the suppression of slavery. It simply said slavery should not be extended. The Republican party grapples with living issues. It regulates vice, and controls it. De mocracy said It wouldn't do anything of the sort. It wanted free whiskey or it didn't want any, and thus it killed itself in voting the South dry. Hereafter you will see a new party. It will be called something or other that signifies free whiskey and ninety-nine one hundredths -of its membership will be old-time Demo crats with moss on their backs; whiskev on their breaths, and a generaf hurrahing for Gineral Jack son. It wa3 pitiable to see the wreck but Democracy alone furnished the corpse, so "it needn't belly-ache if it now regrets its Yash and ruinous stunt. THE MATTER DEFINED. Noah Webster, in the next edition of his great dictionary, will define a Lobster thus, in the second definition: LOBSTER: A red faced Democrat with scrambled eggs in his whisker, who gets violently ful of mean likker and shouts "hurrah for Gineral Jack son. Of course there is no use fpr Wa ster to do this except to keep history straight Your Uncle Ben Clodhopper hnr.d3 out another bunch of forget-me-ncts in this issue. It is what we call meeting all the requirements of th pure stuph bill. Read it and send the dose down the lane to one of your Democratic neighbors, and then look that way in about an hour and from the looks of the atmosphere round there you will think the house is on fire but it won't be it will just be the fellow cussing in tno Kamtschatkan language. It is accepted by those who accept history, that Cleopatra, the beautiful Egyptian sorceress of the Nile, whoai Shakespeare said time could not wither or custom stale her Infinite variety, allowed an asp to bite her on the breast in order that she mm die. Had she been one of our modey beauties the dope of the day wou have killed her before -they got tu. asp fat enough to be on his job.
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
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April 1, 1909, edition 1
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