Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / Oct. 28, 1909, edition 1 / Page 1
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4 i. G CLUB RATES. ! ? Yearly Subscriptions la . Y t ' Clubs of Fire, 75 cents. I ' IS H4'II"'I''I"I"I"I"X-M"4,'i .x...ix..4Wn..xw.ii..r..:..:..infrKg J ISSUED BI-WEEKLY, SINGLE SUBSCRIPTIONS ?; 30 CENTS A YEAR. .Xv.I..I..i.4..;..i..i..i.ti..i..;..i...,i..i..i. VOL. XV. MORAVIAN FALLS, NORTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY, OCT. 28, 1909. NO. 22. A he Mil it' Jacfet ! ! . II : : ; ' i: : : I i 1 1 Found the N of tl The YclIoViT Jacket its Explorers Sent Pole and the (Shetland Pony Islands, off No itflan's Land, via the Icebergs and Glaciers of Dead Man's Gulch, through the Polar Seas and around by St. Louis and Kalamazoo by Special Wireless Telegraphy and Underground Railroad and Cables of all sorts Direct to The Yellow, Jacket, September 12, 1909 Attempts beisg made to Copyright atd Patent with all Rights Preserv ed and Infringements to be Prosecuted to beat the band; and full credit demanded if-any intimation of this service is taken either bodily or in whole or part.) Just got back from the. No rth Pole, left it standing, draped with copies of The Yellow Jack it and hoisted American flag which is still waving. Photographed the pole before breakfast and after breakfast. Had withjme 1, nigger and a Swede and two Es kamos and a member of New York Tammany Club. Eskamos nam ed I-took-a-drink ; ;I-would-like-to-take-a-drink, and Doe Hook. Story that Cook and Peary foi nd Pole all a lie. I found it alone and there were no foot prints within seven hundred miles of the Pole. Saw where Doc Cook spent winter in a snow drift and saw Peary three miles west asleep but neither of them got closer than eighty-seventh degree. At top of the world I saw several people from Greenland and found quite a settlement, at Pcle. Grass w as growing luxuriantly d'ood crop of 'wheat and oats 1 30k fine. Average peach crop. Wa termelons frost bitten where i late planted. Millinery stores obliged to open up on bouleyarjds in order to display fall styles of hats: Politics lively. Looks ike a land slide for Republicans. Bryan running for town j com table and making speeches in favor of government ownership of North Poles and declaring for the free and unlimited manufactv re of Pemmican at ratio of Sixteen to One. Natives voted down nitiative and referendum as inimi cal to Polar Sea heart throbs and tidal waves. I planted stars and stripes at pole but flag was stolen by Miss I-donJt-give-a-dam who made a breakfast konoma out of ' it. Folks all well. Give my (regards to all enquiring friends. Ex pect to make a dash for Moravian Falls when the spring thaw c onies. Say to the American people that Cook and Peary I are not only 111 is taken but are faikir g the public. Am sending my in Vmiments and notes by freigh ; and will submit them to the Royal Society of Fine Arts immediately upon arrival. Collect. , hTTjTiTAM WANDILPH BURST. Again we take pride in our achievement. Regardless of ex pense, regardless of the truth, regardless of everything, The Yel low Jacket Expedition was a umcess, and to this paper belongs the honor of nailing to the North Pole the brilliant colors of Old Glory.- It may be of interest to our readers to know how the expe dition was equipped. i " ; ; ; One pair of bob sleds. O le gallon jug of Old Rye. One set of bull dogs for sledging purposes. One gallon jug of Old Rye. One mechanical sextant that shows a full moon whether it is full or not. One gallon jug of Old Rye. One artificial horizon. One gallon jug of OhLRye. -Forty .rounds of Chicago Pemmican, em balmed and. warranted to star d in any climate. One gallon jug of Old Rye. One walrus fur linejd coat. One box of see-gars. A clothes wrimrer. A) crallon cf likker. A gentleman's smoking jacket. A gallon of" corn lik - not cured. Three cases of Bud That was the lay-out, pa Makes the glory all.coming ou'r way. The tact ot the business is, Ave could have' discovered it inuch sooner, but didn't think it worth while. Cook and Peary will now perhaps retire from the iit Id of discredited claimants Society passes on our claims a picture of the Pole as it drained the last jug. of likker T-IElft BASE HYPOCRISY. ' Dozens of newspapers over the dog country, the bench-legged yellow kind of Democratic papers, j are ding crocodile teats even yet be hed- ause Governor Johnson died. They i tell v liat a great loss the Nation has sus tained; and they know they dc not mean it. . I . j If they are sincere now, j why were they not sincere a year ago whe 1 the people really wanted Johnson nomi nated? Why did they allow Bryan for the third time to take j the :iomi nation when they knew defeat s wait ed him? Simply because they Know uat Democracy is dead and .Bryan is a cheerful candidate. Johnson not have been elected, but he have polled more votes, than polled. Johnson would at (least given new hope to the party, b editors, the great ones, wanted luck with Bryan , again? Why cause he has made himself so cheap he has broken bread and been- enter tained by all the Democrats in Amer ica during his successive terms of running, and the great editors J sup posed if lightning struck Bryai and could ' vould 3ryan have 1 a ut me to try i Be- v n Pole Aeai Has Just Heard from to find the North News is Good. ver. One manicuring set ana one Weiser's beer. d for exclusively by us; and that and just as soon as tne.'Fme Arts which are authentic, we shall paint looked to Mr. Burst after he had he was elected each one of the afore said editors now pretending to weep for Johnson would secure a cabinet position. They are not sincere. They want office themselves and expect some day that Bryan-by fool luck will slip in. Of course when he comes to dis tribute the loaves and fishes, unless he works a greater miracle than Jesus worked, there will not be enough to go round to the hungry horde that knows Bryan intimately. At least ten thousand politicians expect something if Bryan had made it and at least nine thousand would have been disappointed. But their loyalty was measured alone by their vain hopes. Governor Johnson's death was a distinct national-calamity, no doubt of that, and Republicans conscien tiously say so. But for these weeping editors who forced Bryan on the peo ple to make a-great adoo over his demise won't do. They lack sinceri ty and honesty in their salty expres sions. f - j Norman Mack still prints his maga zinebut" the hollerin' & feeble and grumpy.. . Here's Our Greed "We will speak oui; we will be heard, Though all earth's systems crack; We will not bate a single word Nor take a letter back. "We speak the truth and what care we For hissing and for scorn, While some-faint gleanings we can see Of freedom's coming morn? "Let liars fear, let cowards shrink, x Let traitors turn away; Whatever we have dared to think That dared we also say." " This is The Yellow Jacket, the only thing of its kind published on earth. -Cn- ItS temperature is 200 in the shade. It preaches Republican gospel so straight that every issue brings many old moss-back Democrats ' to the mourner s bench in a trot. It 'em goin' and comin'." gits It retails to Democrats, Republi cans and Socialists at 30 cents a year and circulates over all the United States. If you don't like it you don't have to take it. If you do like it you are hereby invited to subscribe to-day. The Yellow Jacket has passed the teeth-cutting stage. It is now over 13 years old and getting older every two weeks. There are no life-insurance - feat ures connected with it. You merely pay your 30 cents and take it whether you like it or not. Then you will take it again. You always get what you pay for; then the paper stops. We treat all our subscribers this way, even the President of the United States. The Yellow Jacket don't crawl hind a tree to talk. be lt don't bust its crupper holding back to first see what somebody else is going to say. It has no "ax' to grind. Everybody in the United States ought to take The Yellow Jacket. All Republicans ought to take it be cause it is helping to fight their po litical battles. Every Democrat should take it to keep track of the rascality and devil ment of his party Every Populist should take it be cause it points out the only way to his political salvation. Every howling Socialist should take it because it will point out to him the absurdity of his wild-eyed, wind broken, womper-jawed, stringy-tailed, seed-ticky, diabolical dreamy delu sions. And everybody else ought to take it because each issue will v be chuck full and sloshing over with Originality, Fun, Sarcasm and Logical Reasoning. When you read this copy pass it along to your neighbor, if you love one another; and if you don't make a bulff anyway, and try it. The politics of The Yellow Jacket in the future, as in the past, will be Republican. However, we belong to no man and shall reserve the right to be as independent as a hog on ice on all matters that come up for public consideration. The editor may not be making The Yellow Jacket quite "rip-snorting" enough to please you owing to our having so much other work on hand, but, beloved, bear with us till corn is cribbed and we'll then try to warm up to our subject and give you - some of the pure stuph stuph with the stinger in it. Tell all your neighbors about us and get 'em in line for the fun. Eli Tucker will continue to be a correspondent. Some of his letters will be worth the price of the paper for a year. . p And you can't afford to miss those "Letters from the Devil" and "Demo cratic prayers" which will be a spe cial feature of TheYellow Jacket. . It takes great strings of words and some money to run The Yellow Jack et. You help scare up the "chink" and we will endeavor to furnish the "chat." ; If you receive a copy of The Yellow Jacket it is an invitation to subscribe. You will get more fun and derive more information for 30 cents than in any otT way you could spend it. . 1 j? If you can use a few sample copies drop us a, card. ' The more Y. Js you circulate the more votes you make for the G. O. P. Now, we want to ask you to send us a 30-cent subscription to this pa per. Send us a club if yon can. We want to also ask you to send along a list of your neighbors whom you think might subscribe. . This is asking a good deal of you. isn't it? WelL ask something of us. - Republicans, Democrats, So cialists, White Men, Black Men and Indians---'. The Club Price of The Yellow Jack-! et is Now Reduced to 1 5 Cents ai Year in Clubs of Five or More, i Renewals received the same as 'ew This offer stands till Christmas. Improved machinery, and the advan tages of a growing subscription list enable us to make this low price. Now we want to see, not some, .but every blessed subscriber to this paper, waltz up a club of five anyway and do it now. We want a million-! on our list and we want 'em bad. up five subs for 75 cents. Try it. Begin to-day. Clean up your neigh borhood. Go into the highways and hedges, and don't forget those deluded Democrats. Round 'em up. Remember the rates 75 cents for a club of 5. So let 'em roll. Altogether for a Million. O The Yellow Jacket, as it grows older and of course takes on more wisdom, aeciaea, some time ago, 10 , speakers on tne other side let the Lost Cause alone. We conclu- 1 1 , . A , - j , . , , . desist-in flaunting into the faces oft ded to burn no faggots over tne grave j .1 of the past; we concluded that the j the forgivers such stuff as that above Democratic party had a recent record - quoted. No matter what the problem -that would forever condemn and dam) God Almighty, the Great Arbiter it, and so far as we are concerned j decided that cause tmd we are wil- we are not going, unless forced, to refer exultantly, to the weed and forgiven past.' the weed grown In short that seems to.be under - stood, and we have been admonished by well intentioned people, trom time to time, to let that past alone that bone-bleached and red riven past and therefore it still gives us a- pain somewhere near ..the vermi form appendix to hear the grand stand orators of the Confederate side still harping -on those scenes of forty years ago. Recently, in this month, the Con federates of Virginia met in reunion at Danville, and one of the speakers indulged in a lot of the lurid light ning that could have been left unsaid. In other words the Confederates in sist that Union men shall not wave the "bloody shirt" as they "call it while they seem to want to reserve the right to fly that tattered and gore stained garment from every stand. We make these few extracts from the speech delivered by the principal speaker at the State Reunion at Dan ville, copied from the local newspa per; 01 tnat town: ir; of L "I am not question of the going to discuss the i right and wrong in an abstract way, but I am tired of hear ing Confederates and sons' of Conf ed- erates going around and saying, fought for what j we, thought right.' Teli vthe truth and say we fought for what wras right. And again: "The speaker's reference to -We was that the Ku Klux Klan and the red shirt or ganizations as being the agency which saved the South from black supremacy were greeted with ap plause, a. voice near the front saying; 'I was one of them.' , "I am not ashamed of being called a rebel,' he said. 'I am proud of it, but when a man calls the rebels trai tors he lies. The proudest years of my life were spent under Lee. I see the opening of the grave ahead of me. I have no apologies to make and no pardons to ask for the hon esty of my purpose .and the purity of my motives." We protest. We say we are will ing, representing the Republican side of the question to let bygones be by gones and to let the years that have come mellow the animosities and bitterness born of that stern, desper ate struggle where on both sides was displayed the greatest valor ever wit- Subscribers. Xo stamps taken. You know it will be :no trouble to getj nessed under the stars of God and- while weVare willing to forget we in- ' : ling to feel that every Southern man i . - - ! who fought under the stars and bars felt he was fighting for the right as' ! he Was given to see the right but ! we must insist that it ill-becomes a grand stand orator to say at this late day that the cause was right with no its or ands. Again we insist that the Red Shirts and the Ku Klux .Klan were two sisters of evil that had nothing to do with black supremacy. The j Red Shirts particularly were born I of other years, and only recently j Democracy again introduced them in to politics in the South to bully and brow beat, to? trample under foot the j law that the Great Lincoln astonished ' the world by proclaiming. In the broader and brighter light no one doubts but what there were i traitors in the Southern camp and no one will ever doubt that it was I high treason that flourished over us. " But we want to cut it out. We are , more than willing. We are willing to take the Democratic party with its ; rascals and trustrtainted sneaks mas querading under the white livery of good citizenship and skin it for its -sins of omission . and commission ' ! committed within the past-twenty : years. We are willing to take its . I record of. the last year and challenge J !any self-respecting citizen to give an 'account of himself and explain 'why he belongs to it. ; Let us look at the" corrupt and rot-. ten hulk. Look at Bryan, a Socialist i and Populist land dictating absolutely every life domineering ; throb of the rotten thing; insistinj that everyj pulse beat shall be in unison witbuMsJ vague and dreamy theories. Lookj at the party standing in iear-ana trembling of One Man and thatOne Man far from the track of real -De mocracy as enuniciated in the plat- forms of Jefferson the one man j whom Bryan insists he f oows. j Look at its record on the tariff qnes-j tion. Always bellowing and always j howling for a tariff for revenue only,1 and already the Democracy of thai South split wide open because everyj Democrat who had any mannfacfcOTf 1 ing plant to protect hurried to Wash- J ington and begged with tears in hia eyes to put a protective tariff on j out-put of his mills, while thfr cttae wing, with, nothing to protect tDCyJ chides and denounces those dcnagjr 3 warriors for asking that their xfct (Continued on page 4 coL Z Cau -1 1 I . t -f r
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
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Oct. 28, 1909, edition 1
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