Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / July 20, 1911, edition 1 / Page 1
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CLUE RATES. 5 Yearly Subscriptions-in Clubs of Ten, $L0O. ' - - - .. - . ,- .- iy SINGLE SUBSCRIPTIONS, v 4 J . 30 CENTS A MORAVIAN FALLS, NORTH CAROLINA, THURSDAY, JULY 20, 19 J I. N.O. 15. mm fflttr . . 1 ifnMit lUv rtffftns rlpnr nff 1ia trsirlr artrt piiii rn-r A' Tn order to Kuociv an uiuv ; for The Yellqw Jacket. . This -.oriTitinn list up 10 fniinwine un-heard-of low price er holds' good till our circulation reaches ONE MILLION. Read and get busy. CLUB OF FOUR BUBS. ONE YEAR .6Q CLUB OF TEN SUBS. ONE YEAR . $1.00 Clubs of more Hian Foiirand less than Ten 12 cents per sub. Now Gentlemen, and that mfeans every friend of the . Stinger, we ask aer and every one of you to do us a special kindness byv raking round" TVpruririg us at least a club of FOUR in accordance with the above rate. Get one as big as you can" and get it Make remittances by check, money-order or registered letter. Don't If you can bnd a club of Ten, oij or But set us a ciud, anyway. send stamps. Always address, THE YELLOW JACKET, Moravian Falls, JT. C. ersoman 55 L and : Gentlemen Listen! We want every person into whose hands this copy of m The. Yellow Jacket falls, to become a subscriber immediately, if not sooner. If you admire Republican political philosophy, as sound as the pillars of Gibral tar, home-spun logic, blistering satire, lip-'em-up-the-back ridicule, roili- can roasts, slat-jarring bolts J of Journalistic lightning, tail-twisters and jaw bone breakers, then you should s ubscribe for this paper. The Yellow Jacket has shed its knee britches, jbeini; now seventeen years old. Every issue is a humdinger and it's going to get hotter. If you want to know what we think of the wabbly Democra s, the worse-wobbly Socialists or a Re publican who has caught the ws bbling habit and is running down at the heels and trying to ride two jac lasses going in different directions at once, then get your name on our mailing-list and let us chuckle you under the chin bi-weekly for one year j The regular price of The Yellow Jacket is 30 cents per year, but as a trial offer we will do this: Send us 15 -cents (no stamps) and we will send you the Stinger for one year rlor send us one dime and the names of , ten people whom you think would like a sam ple copy and we will enter you tor twelve months. . This offer holds good till further notice. Address, THE YELLOW JACKET, Moravian Falls, N. (V m Comd. bit, must see that the end of glorious country is in sight unless the v. restless people get down ! to tneir I - j knitting. With half of the people dis- satisfied; with thousands of them talk ing Anarchy; with hundreds of thousands rushing into Socialism; with the affinity business bcconing shocking in every state; with The man who thinks just a little (their chauffers and poodle dogs; this and look at the men who are money mad and willing to bust a bank in order to get in the j penitentiary. Nothing like the old days aye, the good old days, when people were satisfied and happy with a few thou sand dollars. Millions and more millions is the cry, and when the red flames light up the sky "and the day of the torch is at hand, a man. will be reat political parties dividing; with wealth aetymg law and labor defying law; ,, v. . I witn an tne ins and outs and a uni versal and far-reaching bellyache, what is to hold-the country togetner? When it comes, it is coming ; as a olution just such a revolution as knocked higher than Gilderoy's every Nation that ever had a birth or existance on the planet. 1 Near-beer, that cherished idol million booze artists in the South ueen swiped to its death -a D slew it in the different legislatures; Hoke Smith has been made U. S. Sen ator from Ga. and Chump Glark pn't have Missouri in the National conven tion. Tell us the day isn't conjing, and coming in a flying machine. Look at the unrest look at the society dames, who can't spend their income cue ue voting tneir attectionl on prev- has kite bf a has i vid HE QUIT. a fool to admit that he j is surprised. The speed we have reached is the limit, almost and the skidding is going to commence. . 3 And yet we are not an alarmist. If it comes, it must come as a condi tion that must exist. The Great Gov ernor of the world knows what He is doing, and while Rome and Egypt and the Far East that once controlled and that once was' the wonder and glory of a world in darkness went their way so must any Nation that puts up the golden bull as an idol and' worships it and brushes aside human ity and love and happiness. ! Let 'er come, gentlemen, we can't help it or you can't help it. The crowd is re sponsiblebut the individual unit of that crowd is powerless, j Too late so make way for the fire-works and Ker nel Kern's whiskers. " .'God moves in a mysterious may, wis wonders to perform;" ;" or some time Dick Maple, as edi tor of The Rip Saw, has been skack all decent people by using (the tommns of his paner to belch forth the most uncaUed-for and unheaM-of broadsides of blasphemy that aver have been seen in any journal of any age or anyv country. Such Itermt as coward," and "f ool" " and ) "ty n .kt," ere applied to God, and those who helieved in orthodox religion were compared to jackasses and i trucklers to branny. And the thing got wbrse and worse. Each issue brought forth some new form of blasphemy and the ctjuit?a to relish it but were ton nrr ji - - I VUWdluly to say so. , But all at nce' as sudden as a clap of thufader a ciear sky, Mafl quit,1 Not niy quit blaspheming in the. Rip Saw, mt threw up his job and quit Quicker you could say scat Quit His rnnfroi 1 1 - i ""wo wr- tnree years more completed, ftuit without reasoil or1 cs impossible. un- apology. . Quit without any warning. So one of the most turbulent volca nos of blasphemy ever seen ot beard in the Christian age has ceased to erupt without any assigned reason except it be found in the I quotation at the beginning of this paragraph. In his speech at the IJniversity of North. Carolina this year j Woodrow Wilson -disregarded all sense of pro priety by delivering a rank partisan speech and then to mend the matter he reinforced the thing by working in his favorite word "damn" to the disgust of everybody but the tin can and Dick Maple Dems. But Wilson is a Democrat and anything goes with a Dem. Iff- the Democrats thought they couIqV fool the people into voting them into power hy promising , the people free rain every time crops needed it, they , wouldn't liesitate to-make the promise. rneyvo yiumwcu . Governor Wilson's very fine ad dress at, the Uuiversity of North Car olina commencement was marred by his strained use of the word "damn" for smile-producing purposes. We fear that in regard to profanity, as also in regard to espousal of some. temporarily popular fads after hav ing ridiculed them all his life, this able and ottierwise attractive scholar-statesman is seeking ungraceful and unnecessary escape from what the hostile term "Dr. Syntax" would imply. Charlotte Observer, What's that! To say a man who seeks applause to win. Must not step on forbidden grass cannot Employ Anglo-Saxon words like sail ors use, to Raise the yell! Why bless my soul, and who shall say - , What Woodrow meant? Dam may mean sire, pap or dad Paterfamilias of mate rfamii las Sept or tribe or race or clan And Octopi the father of it all. Again it might be said that dam Might mean a bung, a bolt, a cram, A plug, a stop, a seal. Or it might mean, if books be true, A pond, a pool, a tarn, a ditch or dike. And in interpretation not remote dam Might mean to put on the brake To stop or stay, trammel or tether tho Whole Dam Family of unskinned Oc topi And if that be so, then Dr. Syntax of tho Open Mouth as per the New York Sun) Might find in his capricious conduct Justification for the plea of justifiable Homicide or suicide, as the case might be. In California's glorious clime there Is a place where Ubedam (and So will I, if 'tis not true) is known to all A town it is, and if nomenclature al lows you' to be dam Then why not I? I wot you know of the hoary chestnut Covered o'er with moss, about the in sulated Word cofferdam, and the cow that was Just about to cofferdam head off, and Other skits and skids of the same de sign. In this wide world of woe change is Ever on, so I read into that law which said let your communcation be yea, yea And nay, nay, the word "rea sonable" Just apply the rule of reason, as did tho Texas Judge who held it wasn't wrong to Cuss if the home team was beaten. In the language of the poet who may Have thought it and, failed to write ' it:... .. "A little cussing now and then Is relished by the best of men." And if Dr. Syntax cnooses touse a few of Uncle Joe's choice bon mots let 'em come for I'll be d d if I can see how you are going to restrain the trusts unless you dam 'em up. i- pretty good joke on- Chump, isn't it? Old Joe Folk was a bigger man than Chump when the convention met; and Chump was mighty glarl to ie endorsed for Speaker and of course Toe wanted to be "prisident." And so :he great state of Mi-zzouri saidv it 3hould be so. Joe wanted to be pres ident and Chump Speaker. It was modest to take tho. two biggest ap ples, but then they didn't expect aither one of them. And now Chump thinks he is bigger than Joe, but Joe's friends say Missouri must vote for Joe for president. That leaves Chump bagging at the knees. It's funny he-ha-he-hawl It seems wherever I hear the boys talking that Woodrow lost his breath in the last oriental whirl and that he will never be able to get . the slack out of his panjs. In examining the Lo rimer witness es Kernel Kern's whiskers seem to have a very important part Why didn't they get J. Ham Lewis and his whiskers they are already parted and then they have such an effulgent glow that they, themselves, might have shed some light on the great mystery. - -1-..-It seems that William the Peerless, who is now running without water,' says Judson js too old; too much of a trust buster but why should Wil liam strike such a blow below the belt. People" in the South, at least, recall the trip that William and Jud- J son took together and Jud spoke from i tha platform for Billy. Why, if Billy f thinks reciprocity a good thing,! doesn't he come across and help Jud! out? - ' 1 , The county option' plank was the undoing of Bryan. Lancaster coun ty, his home place, has recently? opened twenty-five sprees selling es-J tablishments, and county option looks as lonesome as a suffragette in a ball room. They say that Mr. Bryan is teaching a new mule some new tricks. I hope so. I have ridden Bryan long enough. And then my tricks are rather obso lete, anyway. What- the country needs now is a paramount Jssue for the Plain People with a trick mule to show it off. : 1 He haw-he haw. Sayj boys, that's I am glad Mr. Pinchot thinks he is vindicated and I also rejoice to know that Mr. Ballinger - thinks itf politics ifJBtead of business. On the! G. T. I see a whole-lot of politics! where business ought to be in this extra session, but -knowing my mas4 ter's crib I dare not .bray anything about it. I : "" When they get all the Trust Mag nates in prison Jeffersonian yot know the Plain people looking foi a job will have a felofatime finding it . -I- V Some days they say we will ad4 i journ pretty soon and then, they sayi it is December first Well, I don't care what they ' do because it will all have to be done over again. The Senate still has some sense, p ISO NEED OF IT. The day will come, sometime, we may not be here fighting skeeters and tax collectors, but it is going, to come, when, there will be no need of laws to prohibit whiskey. The man who wakes up and sees what a fool he is to drink the , swill will finally let it alone the fellow who doesn't wake up will kill himself. But thei public school, finally, will solve the problem. When rthe child is tought what ill-effects alcohol has on tht( brain, .when he is taught that whiskey is a poison and the great government finally washes its hands of the reve-l nues, whiskey . making and whiskejj drinking will become a lost art. We are . not for prohibition W are -not a fanatic on the question. W just let things go their 'way but th tendency of the times is to enlighten,! to teach and not try to- force. When that glad day comes many reforms will come with it, that today afe im possible. -.-s 7 ..7
The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
July 20, 1911, edition 1
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