Newspapers / The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, … / March 6, 1913, edition 1 / Page 2
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The Yellow Jacket. PUBLISHED. BI;TgEEK.T; , R. DON LAWS, Editor and Proprietor. , ADVE&TtSING REPRESENTATIVE, WM. .E. HERMAN, 80 N. Dearborn St.. Cjflcago NOTE TE THIS. .;. j -J M I stamps on subscHptlons. in our business. Rfemit by Please -don't send A . by wo can c use vai draft, - check, - roistered letter, - exp fresa -- or f. u. -money oraer. ., . Always write your name and address plainly THE YELLOW JACKET, Moravian alls, ,jn. w. Entered at the P. . O. at 'Moravian '. TallsJ N. O., as second-class mail matter. pffBLI TH EDIN; ENGL IS H ONLY SUBSCRIPTION ONE YEAR TEN YEARS RATES. Jug not that ye be not joggfe d. Weli, son, Wilson will, soon. The Socialists are- the fellows that put die in dynumitei Wilson highballs, but no Wilson inaugural balls. -; - The Pujo investigation provec that Carnegie" hogged all the' pig iron. There's nothing hits a Demmy's eye, Like Wilson handing out 'the jiie. " tZJ ' - ; - i . Wpodrow the Silent has become Woodrow the Shatter er: -"'!-'.. J As Woodrow is a teacher "may 5e he will make a lot recess appointments. Who said the Democrats would row Woodrow? I Licker. licker everywhere but not a drop to drink. ' ' ! a i ii'li i in Democracy is just one dadburned "pie hunt after another. j -- o i If anything happens to I Woodrow the Scrats' can call on the Marshall. j Vhen the .women get their rights vhat do they" expect to do with privileges? - i their Well, its Wilson and Marshall and the promised : mrllenium has not ar . i rived that anybody : can notice. History says Mexico was settled in the fifteenth century, but it don't look like it. Well boys, the imperial imperson ators of farce and fuss now hold the reigns of government. it- ' From-the way some of his stuff on astronomy reads Garrett P. Serviss has ceased to be of service.; - The rumor that a Democrat i had bsreh discovered who refused "an of fice has been found to be incorrect. Well, boys, the government f has started back at the. beginning again, and it still lives. When the dear eld girls get to vot ing, watch the ones past 40 give their bust measure for their age. i - o- The Punkville Piledriver announces the arrival of a wash bpiler for Mir andy Mushgrabber by parcels post. ' The Chicago thief that stole roof of a man's house believe high living. :the in Well, men rake together your laun dered lucre and let the Stinger qlub: come sailing in. 1 Wilson says jobs for - the' efficient and that looks discouraging for the Democrats. I Life is just one licker bill after anomer one accoraing to tne retieye JJemocrats. I 'The principles of the Democratic party are as old as Mathuselah," says V by an exchange. Yes, and as I dead grabs. - - - ; i Well,. Democracy :.is in the saddle but we don't hear any noise that sounds like the price of living fa ling all over itself. U , - Anybody that has heard, the echo of the high price of living coming down please stand up. Now don't all 'get on your hind legs at once. j The Scrats had to elect 1 Marshall as vice president to keep their party from choking one another in their had rush for pie. ' J itabbit, rabbit, you're looking mighty thin. uui juu snow, me uemocrats are in. , - : A historian says Washington n crossed the Delaware, but there's body doubts that Woodrow has ci ed the Demmycrats. ; ' "; ver no- toss- The man with twenty five cents who noes not send it to The Yellow Jack- .-.4- , ' , , . . . V xur a, year s treatment ougnt never to see a two-bits piece, again. i ou- might as well expect a fire- man s parade in hell as for the Demo cratic party to, suryivo the los4) of oooze. . ; ... m& s Now let - the Scrat Congress nen close the saloons in Washington, and .try doing without their own bboze awiine. --- . .; R With liooze by mailf orders cut vjf the Southern ttv4itnTr 1, but Mil Je a hol anions thplji-lia Sc ats . .25 .$2.03 Stingers that will shake the - hills ! and Valleys. Soon the raving Demmy-mobs, Who' want ,Woodrowr to give them jobs Will have theh- M, C : fix their needs With large free package of - seeds. k s - 1 1 ... . . . The March to Moscow was not in it with the'adysnce on Washington. But there is mutiny in the camp dl the braves' over P-; No, Mi randy, the licker bill - passed by Congress . was not a counterfeit bill because' the Demmycrats. threw a fit over It. 1 ' ' It is impossible to overstimate the wants of the pie hungry or underes timate the hopes of the country' un der Democracy. If the New York bankers can't get to spend their winters South any other way they roh a bank and get sent to the, Atlanta prison. Well boys, its president Wilson now tho he was pot the choice of the dele gates at the convention or the major ity at the polls. : An exchange says the dirtiest peo ple are the healthiest, but we know of a lot of Scrats who have died late ly. "" ? ...... ,. , - , . J : 1 : The happiest man in the world is the man who reads The Yellow Jack et and the next happiest is his neigh bor when he is asked to join a club. The -hog returns to his wallow and the dog to his vomit and the God-deriding Socialist boasts that he is still a Socialist. They may doubt the Boston tea party but blast our brass buttons if the. Scrats wont have their own tea parties before the Webb-Kenyon bill goes into effect. Of course Wilson wants the Taft and Teddy White House officials re tained. He knows they can be trust ed, but you never can tell what Scrats in the chief's office might do. Congress may disqualify Teddy, Taft -ana Wilson, but it would take more, than a constitutional amend ment to stop Willyum Jennings Bryan running for president again. I had a garden filled with seeds, To furnish all my family needs, I thought some hens would do . right well, : But with my garden they played What we'd like to have some jasper tell us is what makes every fellow that gets dippy about the noodle go to Washington and ask the president to appoint him minister to France? We suppose the bishop of Pisa who is stringing wireless stations between the churches is getting ready to tip the preachers off when they hear the Socialist dynamiters coming. A New York peddler who borrowed money from, one of his wives to send his other wife back to Russia knew how to handle a delicate situation, by gatlings. - The man who found a toad in the middle of ' a large boulder where he j had been- blasting believes that it was ariginally a Socialist nest but the. hen got scared off by a cyclone. Wonder if the New York man who . had a finger grafted on his nose will point the finger of scorn every time 4ie sticks his nose m other people's business? ! If the Scrats pass any. more likker bills in 'Congress they had better put shock absorbers on them to prevent them from frightcnuing the Demmies to death. r The New York woman who has sued her. husband for divorce because he always took the larger portion of the steak has good grounds to beef about it.. ' ; A subscriber wants to know how to reduce his.- weighty Well; sir, if you wlil refrain "from eating i for about ten years that ought to be wait enough to suit you. i : ' ; The high brows -are planning to turn the course of the Labrador cur rent and change the climate of Ice land, but oranges are selling at the old price just the same. The postmaster general has-arr.ng-ed so that game can be sent by par cels post but Socialists Iwill have to 'go by freight as usual.; ..Skunks are not allowed in the mails. That noise that makes a fuss-like deep . silence is 'the Democrats who voted for Wilson experssing their ap proval of his no-pie-for-the-hungry policy. ; j . .- Well, it is just this way about it the way to disgust tho Democrats with themselves and the people with theiu government is to let them make their pass at tyfag'to run things. About time for the. Scrats to begin keeping some of their campaign promises. Actions speak louder than w ords and they get the votes, gen tie men. ' ' - . ; ; ' "Fools are the one thing of which j there is a constant overproduction- writes a socialist in one of the red ink sheets. The Socialists are always bragging about the increase in their numbers. ' . . J : Being baptised and giYen the glad hand, won't pay hick - the: money; rou "wrenched from the'widow arid orphan. Pay back that blood money, old grasp er, and then God . will give you th'e glad najrid- r. '' '.' v. ' - TIPTrirwrnf in pnn om V in like the. f el- , low . who bought a pigN for $4 fed it $fcO worth' of -corn, and .then - sold the pig forlO and said he. had' made $6 on the, pig. He said he did not expect to make anything on tne corn. m mm g .".Only a Nigger", is "the latest thrill ing topic of a love story of a-So-shoe-, less suffragette in the Rip-Rap. Some people are so dadblasted nigger foving that they Would burn their Bibles and make a god of JackJohnson, . . - Ladies-and. gentlemen, reading the Insect is said to be the-greatest anti bilious tonic on earth. Send right now for a year's . dosage, only, 25 cents and it leaves a good taste in the kisser. The pie : hunters are beginning to think that if . they had listened to Tammany instead of the Peerless One and nominated the New York mayor for President they would have been the Gaynor. A paper says that a man 95 years old and living in that town" is dead. How in the name of seven green hair ed -monkeys a man can be living and dead at the same time beats us unless he is a Demmycrat. Detroit Mich., has'gofso derned po lite that it refuses to take part in the centennial aniversary of Commodore Perry's because the Canadian school books fail to mention the fact as a victory. We don't hear' any Democrats shouting glory halleluiah over Wil son's order retaining the White House Republicans in the fat offices. Boys, why don't you whoop like you did before the election? . . ID C A citizen in Somerset Pa., was ar- J rested for breaking into a pie bakery every night and gorging hiraseir on pie, and when they asked his politics he said that he was a life-long Demo crat, Pi Jimminy. If a Republican was to say what the Piehungry are now saying about Woodrow, it would break his jaw teeth. Well, we told you so but you heard the Donkey roar and you would not stop, look and listen. After taking laudanum, powdered glass, slashing his wrist with a razor and shooting himself below the heart, a Georgia Democrat still lives. We'll ! bet our G. Cleveland britches that the sight of a cake of soap would have given htm heart failure. This day in history. -March 6, 177G. George Washington found a flea in his left hind boot and j kicked the dog out and killed the flea. March C, 2000. An admirer sent j Willyum Jennings Bryan a jackass by wireless telegram collect. "The regnant suffs started to march on parade in New York recently and as they were passing a department store a clerk hung a sign in the win dow "bargain day, silks marked down from Z to $1.99" and it broke up the parade. The Chinese missionary who swap ped her handpainted god for a dose of hookworm remedy must have fig ured it out like the Indian who com plained to the president about the missionaries. "Too much God, not enough bread" he told Uncle Sam. mt , mm m If the British Suffs had been given a little more dosage of switches when they were tied to their mothers' apron strings, they would not be gallopping around tampering with the railroad switches of England in their maturer days.. ' Agnes. Riffles wants to know how to make over a skirt that does not match her face; says her face Is not long enough for the skirt. Agnes, if you will keep, company with a Scrat for awhile and hear his tales of woe your face will soon " become long enough. "I am 75 years bid jind want to join, the army. Will it be possible?" writes a reader in New York.- If the Wilsonites . run -the country like the Scrats always have, everybody will belong to the army--of the unemploy ed. l jWhen the horrors of black slavery dawned on America in '60, the patriots raised such a howl that it rang round the world.- But the South is today en slaved by tyrannical Democracy and the people "seem to take it as a matter 'of course. A brindle mule kicked a man in Oklahoma on the head and caused him to remember where he -hid $3,S00 during a panic. There will be a lot of persons remember the panic caused ujr me otiiii jcl55UCKS KICK OI TJU. but they won't know where their mon ey is. Dr Mary Walker who"has been rid ing straddle and wearing doublebar reled .britches for forty years got pinched in Chicago and pulled out a "pas3" from her pist61 pocket show ing that Congress gave her "a per mit to wear pants. We'll bet a cross eyed monkey wrench a Scrat Congress If the Socialists are; able to create so much - capital why don't t one of :hem .start ;hia own factory .'and let us see them do a little creating -without cussinvr the "system" iiiat, Hva them the despised jobs? ! The "sys- tern' fell era. started their business without the asistance of other folks. The Kansas City woman who says women ought to be allowed to tend bar would make a hit with the Suffs Ln England. Over there they're dem- Lnntuntiiii. 1 1- j-v 2 1 L X il 1 lti. uouaudfi iucii uiuess iur me uaiiot y tampering with railroad switches nd smashing the government mail- ioxes. - The Kansas gazook that swore he wouldn't cut his hair and wniskers until a Scrat was elected president and who says he expects to chop 'em' off now that Woodrow has slipped in, had better let em grow. He will need them for clothes after the Scrats have run the country against a snag and busted business all to thunderation. The more you show up South "Car olina Democracy's oppression the worse it seems to -tyrannize the plain people. Their own .legislature says that the cruelty practiced in the pen itentiary by the hellish Scrats stinks to heaven. Democracy has never got the slave time drive-ocracy out of its veins. A Deity believed is joy begun, a Deity adored is joy advanced, and a Deity beloved is joy complete. He that rejects the Bible embarks with. out a friend, upon a ship without a helm or rudder, upon a sea without a shore, upon a night without a star or dawn, andrupon a voyage without a destination. When a Socialist is ashamed to ack nowledge that he belongs to the red flag arid revolution gang and tries to hide under the sacred emblem of the Republican party, we say taking him by the slack of the britches and ca ressing him about two and a half feet below the neck with -a stiff boot is none too'good for him. A New York woman -told her daugh ter who had roped in a millionaire and was leading him to the matrimon ial altar that she would be happier if her husband were not so wealthy. "Never worry over that, mama," the perfumed blonde replied. " He will have a lot less after I get my hands on it." Nov how .about that, friends and fellow citizens? The "solid South" is a menace to the political health of this country, and to have a one-party section is to destroy political equality. The equil ibrium of practical popular govern ment has been destroyed in the South since the civil war. ; Yet there are preachers and political wiseacres who say the salvation of the South lies in Democracy. ."Lies" is an appropriate word. Th6 Socialists are eternally belly aching -about impossibilities of a man making a living under the system, yet Berger, Gaylord, Thompson and the rest of 'em pile up tle scads neither do they toil nor spin. Way land cussed the "system" to his dy ing day but piled up a fortune at Am arillo, Texts, which, he said he de spised but hfr pocketed the jcollateral just the same. The Scrats say "let the people rule" but when the people of North Carolina wanted county school superintendents elected by the people, the Scrats lob bied against the bill and said it would never do in the world. There's a lot of difference between Democracy in principle and Democracy in practice, you see. And if the people efrect their school superintendents some of the pie brigade might have to go hungry. A sub wants us to. print the longest sentence ever written, but even that would be brief compared with the sentence that ought to be given the South Carolina Democratic office holders who made white slaves of the unfortunates in the state peniten tiary hosiery mills. And your own crowd told it on you, Sandlapper Dem ocrats. The legislature that can find a way to pay four extra superior court judges and four extra solicitors and the increased .cost of running extra courts but can't educate the" poor children of the state decently, is a dadburned measley outfit. That's what we've , got to say about it, Jeems Henry, and the people of North Car olina will get wise some day and ad minister a last farewell wallop to the pretense of- these political bucan neers. A Peewee named William D. Guth rie (the D. meaning Defunct) reared up on his hinds legs at the N. Y. Bar association and said that Teddy had made public misstatements . regard ing the judges of the New York courts. And who the "Sam Hill and seven devils is Williamgoat D. Guth rie? From what we have heard and read of New York judges it seems impossible f or any one to make a misstatement about some of them. An Illinois subscriber asks us to give him the quotation, from Plutarch, the Greek historian, in which he says no state has ever been found that did net believe in God. The well-known passage reads as follows: "There never was. a state of atheists. You may travel all over the world, and you may iind cities without walls, without king, . without - mint, without theater or gymnasium; but you. will nowhere find a city without God, with out prayer, without oracle, without sacrifice. Sooner .may a city stand without. foundations than a state with out belief in tho gods. r This is; the bond .of all society-and the pillar of all legislation . - , r : . S 4 AWFUL AWF0L1TGH FREE TRIAL of my Soothing guaranteed Tren I SENT ON REQUEST. Itch, Tetter, Salt HheiVi iV d ment that will sto;, the i J J should cure to stay, uij. will send you. free aad ixV most perfect book that w,lia printed on Eczema, (143 pa, Ufr Ecxema. can be cared u $iT , . , say cured. I mean just wfcat r 3 Ay - t?J and not merely patched i f J C.U 2 tara worse than before, r U,wv u It l T- ' tr" broad statement after ,,mr- ,i, of my lire on tbls one t!is: n , ! Ti' tlie mean-Uhie nearly a ba;r n.' " h this dreadful dl5ca?e; Xow JV.' 7 , all you have used, IHt how ntov t'' 'u told you that you rtmlj n,u 1- rirj-a Vi I t is Just a chance to show ,MU Y 1 ; I am talklns about. If joa W;:i i.--t . Free Trial of my miM. s-ml? v'.S you will be more cominrtd in a .ja , , anyone else cmsld in a m..nt:.- rj. i.m what my treatment will .la f..r ,ta. U I'.l disgusted and discounted I ,lrv r, 'u .. we a chance fo prove rav thins. Thousands of patients all ever c- t will jrlndly testify that I Lure cnrf-1 s Ikiema and 1 belieTc I can da ue 1 you. If you will but pi re me a cUat. Cv"--In? me today you will envy core ie! A.'Vt than you ever thousbt tLL wmiM l.'iT'f c you. Why not send for a free trial now ? DR. J. E. 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The Yellow-Jacket (Moravian Falls, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
March 6, 1913, edition 1
2
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