V iffi H lQ -a Ys) -a ,3 ll Ik ) fflf rtt-Mr ill K?Ublialied in 1878. HILLSBOKO, N. C, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 'li. 1887 NEW SERII1K -VOL 9 NO 2 is u 7ri W m r iinn t. v r ll il! i V f i I? 1 i A Fragment. BY K. ItMi'LE MOKE. V-,.- 4 v,,r.- ft i-h:rii. eyes were -hin'ng-, . . ;.iti.-'r.iU" iT.e-e were SWa; i:'), , ' ' . 0-e ft IlilV V ,:'") J . j , .k-J -ri fcKif f r:! !. .' , !!. '-. crtt-hel ttTi -i jIVere 1.- li'l'-l nifters. I : ! i -.uf a. I lier teet. j..-- j -ui"l in : l-ri'- forward, ', :. i . --r'- i i f- u i ri . . , , .!)- tr hair n-'i u i ver w' ;. ' tii i f .t,j ri of your heart, i f,. -:: w-wbit th'-n tlitming hotly, I .-. -Uirry cy s nh fit, j n.Vrifu-'tim.'iT- -tj iy l ;,-, '.,0 tMTIIlbllllK. lllto 11 i J 1 1 . v,t m ' '!!,-r. that ni'hf .lKr. , " i l : 1- of i I !irr:'"l iaee, j. . . : - ti'-r mi est jewel ' j r n '': wr t nee. v. fvn-i of. v v.tir Ilr-t ojiern, , ,1 w ,ii !i-r that your heart. , ,,V 2 11. -hoill'l til rot) HIi'l 'jll i Vl'P ;.( un'U-r-tourii of art! t'lioO.ilNG A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW. J!V K! HI KAN -MM. "it' -of no uv," said Mrs. I : i F; wood j i ;.:ivi-.v. "I can never lj'rri t liku t:.it -ni. Ari l if K-lix nuri -s lit.r I i'tr v t:t('ln''l I )t-ii woo'l, at trifl, li'i'n! oin" m, a.' di.-ifi, th ! oi-f' ur-:i if!-: v. t i r.' I in 'Umikiv :it liis !oit licr. u -.t mot hfi" s.ii'l lie, v is with M :ulf!iiit'? 1 :i?t, -urn -! . th:i' swto't 5inl lov.'1' !" r-.i I:iliuooi! hu'l mum "imJ ;i fi tii t Mot UIH'OMifMon t' !il;lM. !! s:i ti . iiiir to in:i!io lit- iiiotio-r -t-n t T f l - 111' illUill of his n'Ali ew-i.. jj.- i. fi f i ' ii 'If M":itcl in lovt- with :vl . i r b'-awty, prop -l to i;.-r m ; h? f , . . i :."it of 1 1 j in in it. Htiii b'oiiiit i.' i' iii to I ):thwoi J H'lll to : '.'five ti: iii'it'-l !:al I!i'-sili. An I M'l 1 ; ii r-.!f i'1. as tiiroi" t c:tl nii'l inup'ii !.'. :ts l a iff liitii'i'lf, lui'l iM'Vi-r i! i. !':"! iut that Felix's ino! lie:- u ouid ' .eras teiiiieily iiml levo;,illv as I . !x h;i ! '!on-. u:t-s:i pretty, b'li-cveil oitl with no ' 1 i 1 1 1 j 1 1 e in Ikt ciie.'k. lip- n-t if ' "i ti, aio a pi'f 'fiisea'-s of buni!.sli-l -.'i'!' t, i;ttr, whicii flonictl over her - "'i. 'Ifi' lik'e a caM-atle i.-f el low ) i'ri ! io--s. ;' . "M iv 1 enll you inother?" said Mal 'ine. pretlilv, vviifii.-he first ca ne to lli.oo'! 1 lull. 'ilaiiil)." said Mr. I );i-!ivol, ';!". . "lint diii't you t; ink y.-ur l,:iir woiii'l he nehter put up in a m l?'1 Ail the ;iris :it -trl'ol wme it so,'' - i 'i M ojcliiH', w just T:e!uati' l floiii .M;iilaihe F..'le!es .-elnilir.' for 'uiik- la'!;e.-i. "Ami i.oli xly s.-s a net 1 iio-.' lotrf, trailing dres-es, too," 'in! Mi. 1 ash wood, critieaMy eyinfj ti.e f.v -h:iped train of Ma le'ine'.s eiejiiii-eoltircd sm-i die-s. "In the enmiii h, c! wo mostly wear our skiiU "f :t n .tikin" length. " M li-iine looked doubtfnllv down at i.' lovely ires, with its llowuies and t!:!'l!). . "I have always worn trains,1' sho .i i: "and ilofsn't it -eeui almost a pity to ent tl.ein ..JVr1'1 ".Iii't as you '!r:ii',n said Mrs. Dash woo,. ciiiiliii viiblv. Ma'leiinc did not enjov Iht v i -it to 1:vs;.u.i.i Hall h.a f so mueli :is slm nad !"'!t"d; andM's. I ),,si, v on I in w trd 'y (!':! imii'', that of all .!auhte: s in ht'V wi'oni Felix eo , poxiidv have se- '-d M s U' -If..;-.' . us the' least sat-:-f a ti i . J'ut ii i:. . - ceeui red to her V--' v' e did not (ide fa horn ail the ''';!; s of Ma ielinc's cdiaraeter; iior t: :t! - e wi's looking for n woman's ti .t w!' I virtU'-- in a "drl of seventeen, l:t"i-,! of a boardinu-s dietol. "I d"ii't aiiiMve," said s'm s'itlly, f i vvl'o de on fas and re a 1 po ' nil 'fay, in-trad of triti to learn I.o'isi'keepin; ; and a-tor ih tlle k. all tl.M Kei siiii'ton stitch and ! patterns in er. ation won't tak b.e il in lay estiniation, at least . i'fi,,j plain stitching ami stoeino--ii t:;. Madeline Wesifoid and lean i. never beeoine congenial!'' ' i'oi. n.oiher --" 1" Kehx Dushwood's i ii fi ii i to aniazo- ii':.t. I'ihcvit, the con vt-r-ation was '!' in' r a ted by Madiine hnself in -' o;T, - J, croani serr diess, with ;!- 'e.v . e nil'v tres-e- of fraill ;: ei tbi-'.ed fu.v, and a new flitter ' r,r er-. '1 tb l' 'i mean ti be a listener," said ,ve . lit 1 ua- ; a,f :,-!, ,.p in the shady it av inj- ...m. Mill win-n I beard niV ! ame I eo-ddn't help sittini: still f '' i Jn-eimii? ; and perhaps it is ju-t u' d. 1 I have feared this for a lon 1 ' I am .,uire e- rtnin of it now. ' f eft like .Mrs. 1 )a-h w(od ?'' F ( f.r k." said the frigid iuat- s; iv. "said Madeline, softly. ' i i.ave liked ou to love mo. ' oa do tu-t wi-h mo to marry Fo- t "df you w i-li tno to answer sincere ,v' ' vtid Mrs. las!iuoo 1 "no." i u I v(.-,'t niHiTV him." said y e luie. - i ' . i : ; of the little tuitpioi-o .: -v u-'i i . i i, .,1 eivm her ii r an '- tt. ent l iiiin tho-e bright, s.veet '. ' " 'iieii sf. me I so lojjjr al, so lon; "1 will marry r.. man whoso or ;s ij. t r adv to take me into her lp M ed heart-'" t!:e fiij::,j;etne! I wa- leoken'ofT, a:- ' Madtd.ne vvt nt l.otne a a;n. ''lii't f et. Friiv." eo.ax.'.d she. ! s H dea! better'! 'V ou, if you can k-t us d to in,- idea.' If ever I'i-.ave a :her.i;s.'aw. 1 mean that she -hall Hi" oi,, o dear, v !" t, , toss o. itlir.w of his heart's t-ar- e p s vi-ry eoo.iv . "I had ho; d that vou wou'd lea' n tr !nv I1'.: Madtd.ne." i,e said. "ludi-.-d. I " ' u kn-:y how any one .could help it J' " if ..u .-au't ujiv, there's an end o f " mail r : nl. .. i 1 v .ou a leu oas .virs. nashwooi re- l,-evl a 1. tu-r froin ('r.usin' Ti.s 4 UIJ- laJi' from the West, Cuus ua, a in rh( sj;a was coming toDashwood Hail to acitiamted uith her unknown relations. 1 ne old lady's heart leaned up wphin lier. . "i'er aps Felix will take a fancy to The-;, is." -aid .;.; to hei.self. " " And -!;. in id- ,astlJ to r,.furnjs, tho lifle bu.- b mdoir. hlltbe tinv cou.-erv-atory uiti, f:e-h flowers for the thill November days were beinuinir to loam a ross tiie l.o;ion now and lay out a pror, umme of amiem.-iit for tLo promi-i'd m-st. V Cou-i a l'i e-pia came, a b!aek-eved jriii nearly six ! tt hijfh, who laui'ned like a pea! of bell-, talked all the slan t.f tie-, modern v-.ur hvtv, and dec'ared ofoniy that she found the Hast unutter ably s'ow. I shouldn't have come here at all if 1 htidu't an idea of (ruiii ou Ihe sta-e,M said -he. "1 suppo-e it's the best place to s'udy up and tret new ideas.'" ".Mv dear,1' t-a'd -iMda:ied Mrs. l)ashwood, "why on earth should you -o (in to the - the sta-?" "iiecau,-- I like it," haid Thespia in dilTerentlv. Aiiparen'ly Cou-in 'J'hesia liked Fe lix D t-hwood also. She followed hiru out even to the stables -horses, -he de ed in-I. were 1 her dliirht; she chatted witii him in the hnr, lire-lighted du-ks; she sauej- dashing ballads to the piano for ids e-peeiai delectation ballads I' at were widely diil'erent from poor Madeline's dreamy nocturnes and soft s mat s; she openly declared t.vat "he wa-i vej-y nicest fellow she had met since she er.-sse I the Hi- River." O l'o- Mr-. Dashwood'a maternal he. at sank within her. "Felix," she said, on one of the rare twi i hts during which Mr. Dashwood was not monopolized by his loud-voiced cou-'o . "I do hope you won't become interest d in 'Thespia Clifton." He .-miled. s, "Mother," said he, "vour counsel comes too late. I am already 'inter' t-tr 1. as you call it, in my cousin Thes'da. i "Felix," sho almost screamed, 'you are not - engaged?" "Yes, mother, I am engaged. Was not that the Very thing for which you Wished?" Mr-. Dashwood burst into tears. 'A girl who laughs like a plow-boy," paid -he "a girl who is determined to go on the stage a. eirl who suggests Improvements in oms very stables, and calls us E i stern ladies lan awful si-rbt too slo.vl' Fidix, Felix! ou will break my heart 1" "It seems to me, mother," sa'd tho young man, with a shrug of his 'shoul ders, "that you are very dillicult to please. Madeline Westf r 1 did not suit vuii, and this young lady from tho Vst " Mrs. Dashwood lifted her hand uep recatingly, and began to sheil a few fee ble tears. , "Felix!" she sobbed: "oh. Felix! I have been so foolish! If this girl were only gone if you were only re-engaged to Madeline -L think I should be quite, quite happy again! For indeed 1 did not know how sweet, ami womanly and perfect dear Madeline was until " "Fntil it was too late.'1 quietly ut tered her son. "But here is Thespia. Let I er speak for herself.'1 Miss Thespia diftoti came in like a Crust of wind. ilrai-inr one of the house dogs by ti e collar. "He's . lame, I think." said shenois ily. "I brought him in to look at his foot by the lamplight. Kh? What! Mis. Da-hwoo the d'n-kens is I cr ing ! Whv, what the matter with urn all?" t - ' Thespia." said Felix gravely; "my mother wishes to ask you a few ques tions." "The catechism, eh?" said Miss Clif ton, comfortably seating herself. "Well, drive on, cousin Dashwood. A fair li Id and no favor, eh?" "Is is it true," whimpered the old ladv. "that you are engaged?" "Of course I'm engaged." nodded the iair Amaon. "And. what's more, we are to be married in April." "Mai r ed !" ga-s ed tl e p or old la dv. "Oil, Thespia, Thespia. give up the ma l idea! You are not suited to him. Your tastes do not agree; "you never, never would 'make him happy!" "How do vou know?" blurted out Thespia. "You never saw him in vour life." "Never saw him !" echoed Mrs. Da-hwo.td. "Never saw my own son!'' "U;.t it isn't your own son !" said Thespia. iml tlereiitly. "It's Major Miles Keat'iv, yd Feadville, 'ol rado, that I'm eiigaj-Hl to. Your Eastern men can't In id a candle to him !" "Thank heavn!" cried- poor Mrs. Dashwo d; "thank heaven!" "So s.iy," remarked Miss Thespia, who was now bu-ied in examining the 8 .tter-dig"s foot. "And now." faltered Mrs. Dashwood, with averted face, "if Madeline Would only forgive you. dear Felix " "I am engaged o Madeline as close ly as ever," said Pa-h .vood. "1 ioved her oo dearly ever to give her up." - "But but will she ever pardon mt r "Trv her and see." said Felix, laugh ing. Madeline came back tae next day, all smiles and sunshine, and t an into the old lady's wide-open arm. "Dear, dear motht-r." said she, "I shall be so gl: d if vou will ouly love mo with all your heart." "Indeed, indeed I will!" said .the old lady, jovously. "Of all daughters in the world, you shall be dearest to me." For Mrs. Dashwo d had arrived at the conclusion that it is a disastrous thing to meddle with the cut reut of true lore. "Papa so kind.. said Miss" Bina aii t Europe last broa i : "he took u summer, ami as :or snopp.ng expense he give me bianc mrtnge at all the stores and never grumbles; at the bills. Dear nana." HutiLtU: MISSING LINKS. I , York is said to be the third Gvr- '.niau city in the world. ; (iermany has a population, of 40.40.-r.H-. against i.jjj bv the census of '(he chewing :nm yearly used bv a certain family of eiht persons in Miu . ne-fita costs loi.. Flic average eo-t per scholar of the text-books in the South Carolina schools is 10 a year. ! A ailors ciiajwd is to be built in New York by money left by V. IL.Yander bilt for that purpose. I It is -aid by a competent atrtfioritv that men spend more money for hats r tlmu woini:u do for bonnets." An Arkansas man whittled a bullet ; out of a plur of tobacco and shot it through the body of a wildcat ! The homestake Mining Companv, of : the lilack Hills, D..T., is the largest iu j the world, and employs 3,000 men. j Door-knocks of the old-fashioned kind t are once more appearing on the doors of fashionable New York residences. j Several Alabama papers want the ; state legislature to pa-s a law requiring every man to produce a tax receipt be- t .. '.. - lore voting. v 5 The Woman's Missionary Society of the Presbytery of Erie raised ji'.WO more for missions in the past year than in the one previous. At Atlanta. 0., has been formed an as-ociation of young ladies who are sworn to do every thing in their power to abolish the "parlor-beau" fashion. The editor of a (leorgia paper says liberty is always pictured as a woman because liberty to survive must be vigil ant, and there is no blind side to a woman. The bOo French army cats whose duty it is to catch mice in the clothing store-houses, are to have their rations reduced, since they have become too fat and azy. Parties will shortly engage in excava ting lands about White Plains, N. Y., in search of treasures that are supposed to have been buried there years and years ago. Tiie Indian women of the Lower Brule agency have their weekly sewing circle, interchange local news and tell stories about absent sisters, just like white women. A citizen of Rockland, Me., has a brierwood pipe which he found embed ded in a large mass of salt at the bot tom of one of the water tanks of the old frigate Sabine. The lio-ton i'llot thinks that the first dealer in any staple commodity who makes the announcement "No English goods sold here" will rind himself over whelmed by a surprising run of trade. Two lighthouse keepers on the North Carolina coast quarreled about the color of the sea and dul not exchange another word for three months, when both were discharged by the govern ment. An artist's idea of desolation the miners' deserted cabins in places near Pittsburg where old mines or oil wells have been abandoned, doors wide open, window panes broken, and rooms empty. A Minnesota man ays that Indians don't get drunk because they like liquor, but because they think it an honor. If this is true, the average red man takes great pains to disguise his di.-like for fire-water. In Wyoming county. New York, the fruit evaporating industry has com pletely died out. For awhile much money was made in the business, but so many people went into it that a decline was inevitable, , In 10 there were 623 Indians in Maine, of whom oT'2 were males and ol; females. Every able-bodied Indian in the state has a dog, and every In dian who is not able-bodied has two, says the Lewiston Journal. The fiber of the pita plants', which grow in great abundance in Honduras, is used by the natives for various pur ; poses. It is converted into thread for ; sewiiif boots and shoes, and into nets, I lishlines and cordage. The finest and ! most costly hammocks are also made, of it. Small quantities w Inch ha e been . sent to this market ha e been mauu j faetured into handkerchiefs, laces, rib j b-ns. false hair and wigs. I While a jeweler wa chatting to a New York reporter a colored lady, at - tired in the latest devices ,d fashion. purchased a brilliant and planked dow n , JfiM1 without a . murmur. "Some of , our be-t e:i-t 'Uist-are colored people," ; ; said the jeweler. "When they have ; ; money they wear good clothes and : i good jewelrv. Diamond earring- are : get otl" better on a dark background, ; j and the colored ladiV- understand it. ; The C.tllicoon (N. Y.) F.rho has the I Tounge-t compositor on record. She j is oniv y.-ar- "Id and -et.- typr ea-ily, j but can not empty her "slicks." "Iu- : credible .as it mav -.-em." savs tho : i editor of the F-'i. "the little typeset- : ' ter often set from me to four tick- : fuls from our manu-rript, s.m-t:mes , j correcting a -lip in oar grammar or i spelling, and i- never a-happy as when : 1 sitting at the case ; helping papa." " j i ' i A well-known doctor of divinity, not j low 'living, was, like many of us. reti cent on the subject of age. and his youth- j , ul grand-on was. like other children. rurious about the same subject. At ! ;he table one day out burst the que- i non: "Grandfather, how old are you?" j I How plainly I hear the familiar, deli be- i rate accents: " hy. Eddie. I am more ' ihanoo." What! 'More than tk and j aut dead yet?" Boston lUcorJL i Rattlesnake and Itat. "1 ".vas fortunate not long sine in rapturing, without injury, a very fine specimen (,f t he rattle-nuke stn-cies of ts pt dia. 'Wishing to study t!ie habits of tiiis -ecies, i did not take the usual pi.-.-au:e.n of extra .ting the por-on fangs, but placed him in a large, strong-ly-butlt. w iie cage. From the dav of ;,- Uipri-O'imeUt he rxhi'bited tlie ut-mo-t mditb remv to hi- -urroundings. -Ad da iie wt.mid lie coiled up in . one corner of his cage, taking no notice of liv sle--nce utiles- touched bv a switch. t-emed as it the switch had some peculiar c'.Teet upon the reptile, as, un i eit g ; niciied bv it, his rattles instantly I -ounded. and he became the mo-t per fect eiiioo :imeut of rage that I have ever Sift!. ' "To -apply the reptile with food. I obtained several common toads, wnich I had noticed served for food for some species of snakes, and of course. 1 ex pected they would prove dainty morsels for in- majesty the rattled When placed in tiie cage the toads s'uowed no signs oi tear, nor did the snake take auv notice of them. I thought this j might be caused by a loss of appetite on ) tiie part of the rattler, so I determined i to let the toads remain in the cage for a dav or two, and note results. Hut the .tit... ..... .;. i.-.i i.iuu .-ii.iAi: .i. ii o i iouv. li liil in, aim iu a short time they were jumping upon the snake's body, and even iierched themselves on Ins head, without excit ing the slightest resentment at their presumption. In fact, his lordship's head strtiued to be a favorite resting place for the toads. "Aft r;tvvo or three days had passed I took the toads from the cage and gave them their liberty. I next obtained a large rat. The snakejn the meantime had maintained his attitude of placid iutlillerence to his surroundings. No sooner was the rat placed in His care than it exhibited every appearance of fear. It crouched in a corner as far away from the snake as the cage would i permit, and remained there trembling : and wat hing its enemy. I "Tie- .snake, how ver, on the appear ',' a nee of the rat, exhibited the first signs 1 of animation tiat 1 had noticed since ' his imprisonment His head, slightly j elevated, vibrated from side to side; I every muscle of his body seemed in a qtiiver of expectance; the rattles gently vibrating, kept up a low, monotonous sound. The w hole appearance of tho snake recalled vividly many of tiie stories of snake-charming that I had heard or read. "Just when the srinke was in this atti- ' tude the rat opened the tragedy by sud denly, with great swiftness, springing across the cage and upon the snake. Without pausing a second it sprang back and resumed its original position in tiie corner. The snake gave a slight start as if surprised when the rat struck him, but his attitude for the moment was unchanged. "Gradually, however, the movements of the snake ceased, and in a brief time after the rat struck him he fell on his side and died without a struggle. An examination of the reptile showed two wounds through the back of his head, corresponding with the teeth of the rat. I could not find the heart to kill the rat, but gave him the right to life ami liber ty, w hich I thought he had well earned.' Youth's Companion. When a Kansas editor takes his nfTi davit that he saw a gi asshoppei light "down on the back -of a robin and lift Mm two feet high, in an efl'ort to crfrry him otF, iCis .simply one soli tary instance of tiie wonderful richness of the soil of -that State. Next year they are going to tame the grasshopper, and use him to hunt ruts. .A Portrait of Henry Clay. Mr. Clay ws tall, ,nd broad-shouldered without eingx bulky or fleshy, and when at all excised was of stately and commanding presence. Though his long limbs were loosely put together, yet his manner was neither awkward nor uncouth, nor even embarra-sed: on the contrary, it was easy and natural, and wholly unpretentious; it was tho easy, nonchala' air of a man accus tomed to the w..vs of t4je world, and conscious that he was at lea-t the peer of the foremost ia every crowd in wnich he happened -to be. Indeed, mv own opinion is that he was never n tlie s hghtest degree, even in his eanv youth, awed bv the pre nee of any one: he never veeilled U feel, and lllV 'belief is he never feit, that he wa-ever at anv tima in the nre-ence of anv o?ie - superior to himself. . And therefore he was not onlv strikingly at ease, but at home, wherever he was, w het i'er among his neighbors or strangers, w.v-ther at a social gathering. . or at the bar. .or as the speaker of the Hou-e of R- oresen- tatives. or on tne floor oi tae ena e and m mv jU'tgm-n be wouiu nae f civ euua.iv at home at a eomerenee with kiti"s and e:eiTors. He seem.-il to hav. not oTiiv an m-tim-t ve eon- sciousness of hi- own -tn-ng b f bis own -'.e. iai capa ;tv for leadership. ; Therefore he would take himself a- if uneoii-e.ou-.y the occasion, and as nutu: peacefully as ,f it. wer- lp C lead to v. tiatever arc I a s . . -. ...- wi.o c-ver he had a". :re ap In b ed. and few t;.e-re were, ri seemed to be -nrpris--taken the place f".r " an pea re-J l' i li a Ve u. a.nv app . ::i. Of -4 without ticn on trati'.'e Pa--, r- i -C: US- par' is if lv to him-elf. th- was a omet! tig ll is presem- ind -'inanner that gave mm an autt.m italive air. ana m.-toe u.iu the time xho centra!, tne e mm tndmg - - i i t . . figure of the group abo'tt h.m. -fi'. tniatsft.as '- fits f.S'.-.ul'jr Dtc.iiLir Ctntnry. - Frjfn m 'Jt4. The edi'or of I-n ! n Punch haj fourteen daughters. No wonder tho iHoor man can't see anvthing funav ia uavmg t bo i fellows aw av from thd j fro t gate. It- f. much like work. AVIT AND HUM Oil. "Pa, why is a girl called a belle?" asked Clara. "O. I guess it is because of her tongue." unfeelingly replied the old man. Stv York 'fn. The children are always up to little expedients to help them out of a tight place. Little C-y ear-old. one. of thes chilly nights, tumbled into led without paying that strict attention to his evening devotions which his mother hai taught him. "Why, my dear. yAi didn't say your prayers, did your' "You're right. 1 dul n't I said 'em twice last night, so 1 wouldn't have to." llirtfjrd Post, "Isn't it awful!" exclaimed Bella, looking up from the newspaper; one , hundred Cossacks lost" "Quite a hardship, no doubt." ie-;Hnded Clara, languidly; "but then you kiiow how much worse it would be had they been Newmarkets. Cassocks, you know, haven't been fashiouable for -ome time." livston Transcru-t. (ientleman (in a furnishing store) Collars, please, fifteen and a half inch. Clerk (a dashing young man) Collars, sir? Yes, sir. Now there are two popular styles, sir; the "Apollo" and the "Beividere." 1 wear the "Apollo" myself, sir. Gentleman (very much impre.-sed) Is that so? Cleik , O. yes, sir. Gentleman Weil, give mo half a dozen of tho "Beividere." Mr. Isaacs had enticed Mr. Treusfein into his Chatham street store and was trying to sell him a pair of 'trutirs when there was a great shaking of-'feio building, and Mr. Treustein fled, shout ing: "Earthquake! earthquake!" "Come back!"1 called out Isaacs. "C'me back! 1 hat was no earthquake, iitiat was nothing but Jacob up-staips letting down the prices von summer goods." American Jjt,brtic. The New Orleans Picayune thinks it is funny to see ttie meeting between a smart drummer and a hotel clerk w ho wears a diamond pin. The clerk knows the drummer does not own the earth, though he acts as if he did; and 'The drummer knows that the clerk does not own the hotel; but neither of them vll give up anil acknowledge that they do not amount to much, collectively or separately. They had been sitting for. a long time in silence. Suddenly she woke up from a reverie and said: "It is an age of pro gress after all, George. "Yass," ho replied, after drawing the head of his cane from his mouth, "but what led you to make the remark?'1 "Well, not fnuch," she gurgled, "but I saw iu this evening's paper that you can buy wedding-rings on installments." Boston Courier. "Papa," said little Jimmie Briefless, "what do you wear when you go to tho court-house your law suit?" "O. no, my son," replied the good barrister, kiudiy. "That is the suit a man puts on when he goes naked. Only t he clients wear that." And he walked benevo lently on his way, sharpening his talons as he went with what, 'Reginald? With" himself, then light of head; he was an old file, he s Burdttte. Miss Winthrop "How do you like our beautiful city?" New Yorker ? 'There are some things I like." Vlbm ker Hill monument?" "I don't Spare much for that." "Boston Common?" "It's nothing compared to Central Park." "O.ir ah! culture and refine ment?1' "That's not it." "What is it I -v you admire so much iu Boston?" "The twenty-two trains a day by which you can leave town." Texas tiifhwjs. "What do you want?" shouted a citi zen of Fort street east to a person knock ing at his door at midnight.- "Winter (hie) come in." was the drunken reply. "Now you skip, you loafer. Police! Police!" "Zact'iy. "my friend," paid the drunkard, as he sat down on the -eps. 'I've been drunk otTen 'null' to know I can't outrun 'em. and Fm going to sit here and wait. Shorry to disturb you, old fel, but wish you'd wake rue up when'er wagon comes." Detroit Free Press. A Selfish Gen'-raL One night in the spring of "02 Gen eral Rieh:ird-on, who then commanded a brigad. took it into his head to in spect the ticket Hne. Coming upon & I reserved picket of. about t. irtv men, t meter c-mmani ei a ! under command ef a captain of tho ! Second Mieh'gau Infaatry. tht general Saw lit to ! Ii i CJ-fogale as looOWs: " aptv.m ! the ad vatic in case oi an a a-rn oy pk-het, what Would You r do" ? "Send off a reinforcement at once'. "A.d if the Jirirg continued?' I -houid move up with tue remain der of mv for "And su-.j,,..,. a whole company of the em-r:i.v -honld p:e-s frwrdr" "We'd whip tn-m." "l ;t ;f it was a regiment?" I'd form a ime of battle and check tunn un 11 I s"nt 1 aek a;:-I got or- tiers to emerge an l capture tae wa jiJ i lot. e j. a hr" should m e uo -vn on you U battle iii.e? I'd order a charge. .V. th co umn in two, detail" and w :.ip bvia r.a;ve3 m 4 . .... . . . ) , r t- r n r. Iii i ii i 1 1 - i.e. -i is ' .f itain wis rebev-l from furtn1! d it" tm iMcket. He wa.s very if dignant, and conspier ably pu.zl- d. bat after i:.i:'k ng the mat wr for a w hile, he tail to a . broil "- o.i:i-:er: S 1 v .true;: it! Oi l Il.h wai afra mv mpanr ni';g;t "g- ble ti.e wt out Co: f a ra'e army a: i i rij.v him " 1 If thai ain't ti.etX I d 1 tO ktwW tco.s e-s IS "What orrid we. itherF1 f-xcairr.e' 'Calm a s mi're-s. or.e itay la- we.-3c. "Ves, mdam: and the nt.o! i. xs S expel any thing bette; . in HIS FIHST SPAHKING. XUatrou Ending of a Indlma Coartlof Mtcti. In early times there lived in Indian a man by the name of George Boone, a descendant of the celebrated Daniel IWxme. He would have stood well in lhoe days when there were gianta ia the iaud. if there ever were such- Ho was near seen feet high, with largo bones ami muscles; his hands wtr large and h! feet were of extremr-aid in length, breadth, and depth. The fol lowing anecdote wa one lioone used to relate hmi-elr: with evident relish, after he bvcaiuti one of the State Senators. I was about 15 Years of age, when, for the tirst lime. 1 took it into iny head to go asparkiiig. Ou"ol my neighbor a few is lies otl had a pretty daughter that, 1 thought, would just suit we.( It w as late in the fail, and th weather pretty cold; still it was too early to. put on shot's, for those primitive time. hen Sunday afternoou came 1 drwwod in my best butternut colored suit, made some s.ix months before, but soon found that the pantaloons reached only just below the knees and my coat stretched over me as tight as au eel-stra: dried oa a hop-pole. 1 started barefoot, wading the creeki and muddy bottoms till I reached the house. ihe family were about sitting down to supper, and invited me to eat. Sally -at by my side. They had mush and milk, and plenty of it The old lady, w ho was dishing oiii the pudding, told me to pass my bowl.' I reached out my hand with the bowl; but 1 had made no calculation of the eize of the table, ihe space between the big uiilk piteher and tho bowl, nor the width of my hand. With all my embarrassment, 1 struck the m'uk-pitcher in some war and up-et it, and out went the milk I over the table, Sally, and myself. She , jumped up and went, shaking with laughter, into the other room. I a,w that all was lost. 1 saw nothing injte of her. Wiicn the clock struck 10 the old ladj I said: . I "Mr. Boone, won't you wash your feet and go to bed?" "Yes, ma'am." said I.. "Here is an old iron tot all" I've got ; that's fit." .said the old lady. 1 took the jwjt and found it so small that I could only get my feet into it4jy sliding them in sideways. Rut I got . them in. The water was hot and I soou found them swelling tighter and tight er; I couldn't get them out. I said nothing, though the pain and anxiety were so great that the sweat rolled down my face. The chirk struck 11. "Mr. Boone, are you done washing ' vour feet?" sleepily inquired the old lady. "What did this pot cost? I've got to break it." I groaned. "A dollar. ! "Bring me the ax." She brought it. 1 took the ax.- broke the M)t in pieces, handed the old lady a dollar, ojtened the door, and started for home. I never went there again. Youth's C'umjfinion. You Can Do Your Best. President Tattle, of Wabash college, closed his baeealaureate with word of in-pir.t ing counsel to the graduatiuff cla-s. Wo commend them to all young men who may chance to read them: "For several year you have been working for ti.r honors of graduation. A- You ivarb the coveted goal, yoil meet the crowds of the unemployed. The sse is not one to in-pire hope. Is there anything ou can do alut it? There i- something ou cannot do you cannot change tne. fact.- In wpitt; of your wi-hes, ij,e professions are over- rovvled, or at lea-t (,'ria to be. Hut there ;s something you can doyou ran do your le -t!' and that is Home thing. A select few do jt. ;Thou-ands do not. We -omrtimes speak of aristoc racies. Tno-e ba-cd on wealth and f tin Iy are not the noblest of the clauts. 'I his ari-? c!a y, composed of thosf who Tie ".to ticir hcM, is tho noblest, prof, -- (, s are not overcrowded with 'his s.rt. but w.th the other. To be t i- -i i rt of a man on' that "does is ie-!,'" js as easy to be a Milo. a Mi' li ae Atigelo. or a PauL Do you grant ii? What then? This. In Hiat ilill Ui . but sp;eijdi i personal trait (if pin have it ) you have the strong pre sumption I litid aimot aid prophecy of si.-.. 'Ihe man who "los his b"-t" has a pa-forl sealed with the kb gs sign-:, to MiiiK! vforthy field, li.ej e i vam'y is a place somewhere for u-i a man. Az'-ol'A'-s cf Davi'I Davis. Mr. Dvid Dtv.s. being now in the Sh - of a !re-f Pre-id -ntial career, the a:.--' ii.'H begin to lbw in.. A Nit i'n; k iit!it, w riter remernljr that w:.i - o i tie- b-ti- u jpi Iliinoi. Davis w: m-.vn itr.'-j' -'i in the eiecuon In tpat ;t of en filled hit mind xi-.'-.-ioii f oth-'-r business. Iur i e ou-e , i an argument a lawyer o! I.i to t:. y-'j ' 1 a- t Hot.'. Ti.e hrs i he : won; . t stv: "And now, your r. ti e matter r-4,4 in tt.H Mate, ta-t word roU"d l:e Ju-!ge from -V.-;y. Mi 1 lb TikjiJg of the TOt i e d Do igi as would get. or rather ia't ge , m th- Stab. Davis cried: "Stab-! s; ty." A', a w Lo wa -ca- a ti. e" r e wn t carry a coun .ther time he told a lawyer v anxiotis to goon with a ab-e!o-- ,f the counl oa 1 . "We'll go n if you ia t! th oi: -r B l I ought to teli you that in iuc.'i I a! w think it my dutv Vj Itfik. .u: ! t th 'id that is not represented jv c tinsel. e bad a case ox that sort In T.-r re Haute the ether day, where a u an io-i-ted on going on when the oth er side wasn't there, and singular ftJ if maV ;!!:, w beat that fellow V i