Newspapers / The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, … / Sept. 22, 1881, edition 1 / Page 1
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21 dtatlam iffoiid. torn II iffl II Ml w H. A. LONDON, Jr., 33 .A. TIKIS or AD VEHT1KING. EDITOR AXI I'ltorRIFTUIl. I1 On Mpum, onu lnwrtlon. One Miiiarrt, tw n Insertions Olie'iuaro,i'iie im'iith, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: One rnj y, rne jvr. - . Out iupy, tin w luuiiUt., l.M no - : vol. IV. PITTS HOK CHATHAM CO., N. C, SEPTEMBER 22, 1881. NO. 2. I F"r larger .nt vert Lenient:, tilieral i mitrai ts Molher's lliiekelheriy Pies. llnw oft pies tnnnon l.nek In I'hihlhooit, When picking lurries mi tin. li 1 1 1, Willi nil in hniel I'd Htri tin' hushes AIoiik oilli little brother Will. Wlit eareil we fur the lusts of Hummer, Willi lirnnil straw lint tippet! o'er our eye For, witli iIiiihm very Imckli'lM nies Our mother nm le those famous pie. ! 1 sec her now, Var cherished mother, With apron on hh white as snow. Her plump arum hare up to the elbow, Am! on her eheeliH h rosy glow : I fin to nop ier roll the pie crust. Am! fill the platen of Urgent size : For Well i-he knew how hungry ehiMreii Knjoyeil her liueMi'herry pies. Anil father, he'il eomo in from haying, Ami KtHinl I iy mother very m ar, Anil pa : "Now. wife, in all the township None make ml. h pien aH you ilo, .li ar, Ki opt, pi rliapH. my ilear n. mother : Why, at the Fair, you'll take the priye. tome, i-hil.lien, now we'll all lo ilinner Ami haw a feast of mother's pie." Those iliiiners now I well reineinlier, Within tin' kit. hen hirue ami eool ; Those summer ihivs of our viti ation. When wo were free of I ks ami r. Ii.ml. Ah 1 ran it he ol years lull thirty .' Ami ye! it must l.e ; how time ilie ! Hinee e cat in that fai inhoiise kltehmi Ami ate, in i'hil.llioo.1, mother's pies. Within our mmlest home is sitting An Mpsl la.ly. saintly fair: While at lo r mile my hel aiel l.iio Are lookiiii; up with earm st air. '(lniii.lma,"thi y say, "we piekeil these l i iru We meant it for n (jn at surprise," Ami ii-nmliiia smiles ami says, "My ilarlin Till llot t"0 oi to llilke p'oil pivs. ' A KIND HEART. The woods were gayly bedecked with their autumnal foliage, and the robius had ceused chirping their sweet lays; but the brook murmured on, witli its lulling intonation, beneath the- rustling branches of the trees, as happily an it ditl when its banks were luxuriant with summer's green verdure. And it was by this tiny rustic bridge that spanned the stream in the shadow of t lie trees, that Nettie Brut met Lennox Vide, lie had been listlessly tempting the speck led trout in the stream with his rod when she cunie down from the cottage near by, to feteh a pail of water j and on meeting tho pretty girl he rose from his recumbent position, gallantly dolled his hit, and laughingly demauded her toll to cross the bri Igo.' She blushed pret tily, and would have retrueod her steps in dismay had ho cot reassured her by a few joking words, and to her astonish ment filled her pail and carried it to the cottage for her. That was the way t li y btvauu. uc qnaintod, and it was not long before both were hopelessly in love with each other, although tho sweet words hud not yet been spokeu which would reveal their passion. Ho was handsome, and being from New York, possessed the polished manners of a thorough gentlo man, while she, reared in the quiet lit tle village of Koselle, was as innocent and simple as a country girl could be. Ho afterward called at the cottage where dwelt Widow Borrowdale u graceful little lady, if possible more beautiful than her daughter. An air of mystery surrounded the pretty widow, which was only apparent to Lennox Vale; but he, too, was a mystery to them, as the extent of his confidence was that he was a New Yorker, rusticating u few months for reereation. He boarded at the hotel in tho village, but from the day he mot Nettie most of his time wan spent near her. And thus the happy days of summer and autumn sped rapidly by, and cold, bleak winter approached iu biting gusts over the Blue Kidgo, at tho base of which tho stream wound its sinuous course. And winter's approach brought terror to the widow's heart, for she had been unfortunate all summer ; the bank in which sho hud deposited what little money she owned had failed anil left her penniless. This news she commu nicated to Nettie, one evening, as they eat in the tiny parlor before the cheer ful lire, a few minutes after Lennox had returned to lus hotel. "I do not know what we shall do, Nettie dear," she said, dolefully. "The few thousand dollars were all your father left us when I. o died, and that moLy he brought from England." "From England, mamma?" queried Nettie, in surprise. "Yes, my dear. 1 never told you we are English, did I ? Dear me, how rap idly time flies ! Why certainly am an English woman, but you were born here in this house. And do you know, Nettie, your grandfather was a noble man ?"' "Why, no, mamma," replied tho as tonished girl. "Well, he was," continued Mrs. Bor rowdale. "Tho story of my life is au unhappy one, brt I will tell it briefly : Your father was the only child of Lord Borrowdale, and I was the daughter of a London merchant. My father and mother diod leaving mo destitute, and I was obliged to earn my bread by teach ing in a private seminary. Yonr father met me, and falling in love with each other, we wero married. By this act my husband incurred (he fury of his j father, who was an ambitious old man, and had chosen the daughter of a peer for his wife. Considering himself dis honored by his heir matrying so far be neath him in rank, the old gentleman disowned his son, and forbade him ever to enter tho homo of his childhood days again. Your father, Nettie, was as proud as his unjust parent, ami though we struggled hard at first for sustonunee, we lhi ally amassed enough mouey to carry us over tho broad Atlantic, and we found a comfortable home here where you were born." "Well, I declare!" ejaculated the girl. "This is a revelation to me, mamma. But my possessing noble blood does not alter inr situation. What shall we do?' "I cannot tell," replied tho widow. desponditigly. Tho next day Lennox called at the cottage, and Nettie told hiui their mis" fortnne. He tried to comfort her as best he could, and then left her. He called several times lifter that, but seemed to grow less affectionate as the time iassed by. lie left Koselle for four mouths, and returned again when the llowors were beginning to bud into beauty with tho advance of another spring, By this time Nettie and her mother were sorely pressed for money ; they had lived comfortably through tho winter, owing to tho kindness of the grocer, who littd brought them such groceries us they needed every week. Mrs. Bor rowdulo had told the man she. had not the money to pay for it ; but ho smiled, and saying no money was needed, went away with he." blessing. This had con tinued until Mr. Vale's return in spring, when the grocer suddenly censed bring ing them their weekly basketful. On the day of Mr. Vale's arrival a letter bearing the post-mark of New York was handed to Mrs. Borrowdale, and won dering who her correspondent could bo as she had never received a letter in the twenty years she had resided in Amer ica - she opened and read it. Its con tents seemed to perplex her considera bly ; and her leaving Koselle with Net tie for Now York that same day, per plexed the villager still more. Lennox called during her ubseuce, and ho was attired more fastidiously than he ever appeared before. There was an extreme nervousness in his man ner, too, uud when lie found the house locked up, ulthough ho appeared to be disappointed, he breathed a sifjh of re lief ami went away again. Nettie and her mother returned to Kosrlle the next day, and both seemed to be greatly excited at something which Imd occurred. Lennox culled ugain in the afternoon, and as he approached the garden he saw Nettie weeding the tlower-be:ls. A liitle cry escaped her lips wheu she saw him, and she flew to him with a hearty greeting. Then she noticed how grave he looked, and a chill c.uno over her heart when she thought of his coldness when she told him of their poverty. Was he a fortune seeker, and thinking her linanci'tlly "well oil" had beon hoping to gain her and her for' tine? The widow's having had a comfortable amount of money in tho bank was no secret, but nunc knew of her losses save Nettie and Lennox besides herself. In her innocence Net tie did not imagine that Lennox was anything else than a poor man, and if he proposed she would have" accepted him as such ; but now Ilo spoke gravely to her as they wnu dered iu the shado of the trees in the garden, and in tho course of his conver sation declared he loved her, and asked her to bo his own. The sweet words of consent trembled on her lips, but an instaut later a thought ocenrred to her that sent the blood4from her faco and left it as white as snow. She trembled violently, and with a negative answer she burst into a passion of weeping, and breaking from his embrace ran into tho house. Ho stood still a moment, utterly dumbfounded ; then, with contracted brows, he hurried after her, firmly re solved to hear nn explanation of her strange conduct. Ho found her in the parlor, weeping on her mother's breast. Then a dim idea of why she acted as she did crossed his mind ; but he said, "Nettie, you must explain this. Mrs. Borrowdale, do ;mt think I am a fortune hunter ?" "I cannot tell, Mr. Vale," replied the widow, coldly. "If yon truly loved my darling daughter, why did you uot con fess it when she was in her most straightened circumstances?" "I will explain," he replied hurriedly. "But first, Nettie, if you truly love me, come to my arms." The young girl hesitated a moment ; then the sweet emotion that enthralled her very soul proved its strength, and she flew to his embrace, and was clasped fervently to his heart wlitlo her arms encircled his neck. "Now I will explain," he said, turn ing to Mrs. Borrowdale. "When I left you last autumn I was obliged to go to New York, as my father had died, leav ing me his immense fortune. While there, by chance I Baw an advertise ment in the papers fur the heirs of Lurd Borrowdide, who had died in London, leaving Lis title and fortune to his only son, Herbert. Kuownig this to bo your dead husband's name, 1 sought out the lawyer in the city who had ins-rted the ad vert iseiucm, and telling him I thought you were Herbert Korrowdale's widow, I advised him to communicate with you. This ho did, and you received his letter, culled on him yesterday, witli Nettie, and proving yourself to be next of kin to tho departed peer, you received, I think, papers which will give you your rightful fortune. Is it not so?" "'s, yes 1" replied the delighted Mrs. Borrowdale. "Lennox, forgive our unjust suspicious of you. We should never have doubted your giiod hearted ness !" He said nothing, but kissed Mrs. Bor rowdale, and all that day there was re joicing in the cot I a . lie did not men tion then that he had paid the village grocer to see to their wants, and it was long after he married Nettie before they found it out, and that his cold demeanor was assumed, thai they niif;ht not sus pect who their benefactor was iu their distress. It was necessary for Mr. Kmrowdale and her daughter to go to England to make good their claim, and after Len nox had married Nettie, they all three went. They had little or no dillieulty establishing their identity and gaining their inheritance. It was ascertained thut the old peer died repentant of his injustice to his only sou, and had used every means of trying to tind him and bringing him to his heart and home again ; but, living quietly iu the seclu siuii of the pretty little Jersey village, it is uolstnmge that Herbert Korrowduh uever heard from his father, a; they never corresponded. And thus we leave our glad trio, living luxuriously iu a great mansion in Lou don, once children of misfortnue, but eventually made happy once more. -H'd.v rhi Mti'jitiiut . Hon tlic Prince Oliejs His .Mother. In Europe, as you know, royalties are nearly all related. When one dies, all the rest go into mourning and suspend pleasure. A common result of this i-. a little passage of arnis between tho Ijueert and l'riuceof Wales at this mo ment. The Duke of Saxe Cobnrg died two or three days ago, just when the (ioodwood races were in full swing, and when the I'rince of Wales was enjoying himself very much indeed at tlu man sion of the Duke of liichmond. In stantly the (.lueen telegraphed to the I'rince, desiring him to return to Lou don. The Triuce sent ba.-k word that hecou'd weep just us freely for the de parted "nd cousin at (ioodwood us in Marlho.'ough House. The ,ueen in sisted on his not going to tho races. The I'rince replied that he must ; where upon the ,ueeu, in a great rape, tele graphed positive orders to the luke of Kichuioiiil not to allow any dancing at (ioodwood House during the races. Thus, the Prince goes to the races in tho daytime, but has to content himself without tripping the particularly light ami fantastic toe, which he loves to wield w hen any fair dames are about I now hear that he will go to C'owes next week ; but the newspapers have been asked not to allude to his pres ence, as he intends to be at the regatta almost incognito. The (Jucen, too, being at Osborne, would he a trillo too handy for him, and he would in all probability tind that merrymakiug lit t'owes was followed by a little enforced penitence at Osborne. The Prince has evidently lost none of his original dread of his august mother's anger. .Method or Vrtillcial liesiir;ltion. We think it advisable, says the I'mot ilimt ,1'fUrnnl Mfifil .SY'eifc, , to di rect attention to the following rules for resuscitating the part iully drow ned : 1. lustwithj turn patient downward, with a huge linn roll of clothing under stomach and chest. Place one of his arms under his forehead, so as to keep his mouth oil' the ground. Press with all your weight two or three times, for four or live seconds each time, upon patient's back, so that the water is pressed out of lungs and stomach, and drains froolv out of mouth. Then, 2. liiii l;i turn patient, face upward, with roll of clothing under back, as low as possible. Place patient's hands above his head. Kneel with patient's hips between your knees, and tix your el bows firmly against your hips. Now, grasping lower part of patient's naked chest, squeeze his two sides together, pressing j (i.'i' forward w ith all your weight, for about three seconds, until your mouth is nearly over mouth of patient ; then, w ith a push, xmlJoi!:' jerk yourself back. Host about three sec onds ; thenlegiu again, repeating these bellows-blowing movements with per fect regularity, so that foul air mav be pressed out nud pure air be drawn into lungs, about eight or ten times a minute, for at least an hour, or until ihe patient breathes naturallv. A Lead vi Ilo journalist has shot so many men that ho is now spoken of as "the local lcaditor." Lire In HIkIi Altitudes. The greatest height to which men have ever mounted is ubo.it five and a half miles above the sea level, and the balloonists who ventured on that ex periment wero very glad to come down. j Hhort as their stay in the upper regions was iney wero almost irozou unit almost sull'ocated. Tho cold so benumbed their hands that, had they not tukeu the pre caution to carry with them chemicals ! for the production of u little artificial hint they would have become helpless uud lost their lives from inability to pull u rope and let out tho gas of the air ship. The air which they breathed was too tliiu to support life, and they felt all the sensations of partial strang ling or drowning. Of course any labor at such a height was impossible. The census shows that the elevation at, which men can live and work to ad vantage, mi l which they therefore gen erally choose, is a very low one. The average height of the I'nited States above the sea level is about 2,(1(10 feet, but tho mean elevation of the popula tion is only a!.;. nt Ti Ml feet. A height of 10,1111(1 feet is considerably less than two miles, yet of all the5ll,(li Ml.lii itiof peo ple in our country only Hit, lot) live at that elevation. Not only men but other animals and limits as well, liud the struggle of ex istence harder as they rise higher. As plant:, uud animals diminish in number, the means of supporting human life rapidly dec reuse, so that the upward growth nf the population, so to speak, is cheeked long before the cold becomes too severe to bo endured or tho air too thin for breathing. The bulk of the little band who reached a height of ten thousand feet are miners, and could be nothing else. More than three-fourths of tho whole population choose to live at less tlian one thousand feet, or considerably less than one-tifth of a mile above the sea, and ouly three per cent, of the inhabi tants make their homes at a height of two thousand feet. If it were possible to walk upward from tho earth as read ily as upon its surface, an ordinary pe- dciiau in half au hour could pass the j limit at w hieli human life can be per- maueiitly maintained, and in a little j more than an hour he would reach a point where it could not exist at all. I tho builders o( Babel had ever scaled the mountains beyond their plain vision uot a miracle would have been required to convince them that their enterprise was a great waste of labor. Curious N'U Inhabitants. There is a continual warfare going on j in the deep - a constant struggle for the means of sustaining life. The carniv orous devour the vegetarians, aud the uiud-eaters swallow both animal and vegetable forms ; aud this runs all the way down the scale, from the shark and the equally ravenous bluelish to tho least of the annelids. These last - the .sea-worms arc wary, but they cannot escape their enemies. If they were to conline themselves to the bottom where they feed, and where many of them prow to the length of a foot or two they might in a measure escape, though they would still be a prey to the scup and other llsh that kuow how to dig for them ; but they love to swim particularly at night and iif the breed ing season, and then they are snapped np in countless numbers. They have almost every variety of forms, and their structure is marvelous monsters with hooked jaws at tho end of a proboscis, uud with sides of bluish green, that throw off an infinite variety of iridescent hues. Home of the sea-worms have scales, others have soft bodies ; some are sluggish, aud curl themselves up into balls' when disturbed ; others are restless, particularly at night ; some are round, others flat ; some build tubes of sand and cement, woven together, till they make a colony of nrnuy hundred members ; the tubes of others are soft aud flexible, and some, when disturbed, withdraw within their crooked, calca- ( reous tubes, and close the or i lice with j a plug. 'no variety of the serpube has j three dark-red eves ; another variety has clusters of eyes on each tentacle. The nniphipods were accounted of no great value till it was shown by the Fish Com mission tbat these small Crustacea fur nish a vast amount of food for both salt and fresh water fishes. Indeed, there is not a creature that swims or crawls that does not bee me the food of Fonie other animal. A beach-flea is caught up by a scup or a flounder, and squids make terrible havoc amongyoung mack erel, while sharks and stingrays find something appetizing in the gasterpod. Ladies with small mouths are in favoT iu the SoF.ih this season, and it is fearod that not a persimmon will be left on the trees to ripen. A Connecticut woman presented her son with a bed quid made of hair cut from h-r own head. It will go down to posterity as a family huirloom. The Susquehanna has less water than during the great drought of l!St4. The current is not strong enough to carry off the sewerage at liamsburg. ( WOIIIIS OF MIMMIM. Dissolute people let their soup grow cold between the plate and the nnui'li. Learn to say no! and it will be of more use to you than to be able to read Latjn. "One soweth and another reapeth," is a verity that applies to evil as well us good. No better advice could be given an aspirant than the terse little counsel of Emerson : ' von want success, suc ceed." A great step has been gained when one has a high standard for himself, ami measures himself on that ideal standard. To cover u bad life uud its fruit the evil strive to divert attention from our selves by laying evil at the door of tlu. innocent. B.id habits are the thistles of tho heart, aud every indulgence of tliem is a seed from which will count forth a crop of rank weeds. It is very difficult to b. learned ; it seems as if people wero worn out on the way to great thoughts, and can never enjoy them because they are too tired. It, is better to be the builder of our own nametliantobe indebted by descent for the proudest gifts known to the books of heraldry. Life is so complicated a game that the devices of skill are liable to be de feated at every turn by air blown changes, incalculable us the descent of the thistle-down. A critic, iu noticing a discourse on "The Savings and Doings of (iivut Men," remarks: "It is sad to observe how much they said ami how little they did." The gnld of the sanctuary must be tried before it is accepted ; ami is thrown into the tire, not because it is of no value, but because it is so precious. It is, after all, the person who stakes the least who loses the most. In tlw affections this is wholly true. He who risks nothing loses everything. As every thread of gold is valuable, so is every minute of time ; ami as it Would be great folly to shoe horses with gold ias tho Koimin Emperor Nero did so it is to spend time in trifles. A dull uxe never loves grindstones, but a keen workman docs ; and he puis his tools on tliem in order thut they may be sharp. And men do not like grinding; but they are dull for pur poses which God designs to work out with them, and therefore He is grind ing them. Temptation is a fearful word. It in dicates the beginning of a possible series of infinite evils. It is the ringing of an alarm bell, whose melancholy sounds may reverberate through eter nity. Liko the sudden, sharp cry of 'tiro I" iu the night, it should rouse us to instantaneous activity, and brace every muscle to its highest tension. Boys Beared ly Wnhcs. In his eminently interesting wuk en titled ',Inii(!le Life in India." Mr. Bull bus adduced good reasons for believing that the old classical story of the rearing of lioinulus and Remus by a she wolf may be founded on fact. This author cites the case of two kids in an orphan age in ScRiindra, near Agra, who lad been disccvered among wolves, and in many ways shared the habits of these animals. One of his stories is supported by a letter from Professor Mux Muller. It says : "A trooper sent by a native goveruoi if Chandaiif to demand pay ment of some revenue was passing along the bank of the river about noon, when he saw a large female wolf leave her den. followed by three whelps mid a little boy. The boy went en all fours, and when the trooper tried to catch him he ran as fast as the whelps and kept up with the old one. They all entered the den, but were dug out by tho people w'th pick-axes, and the boy was secured. He straggled hard to rush into every hole or den they ciiue near. He be came alarmed when he saw a grown-up person, but tried to fly at children mid bite them, lie rejected cooked meal with disgust, but delighted in raw flesh and bones, putting them under his paws like a dog. They tried to make him speak, but, could get liolhing from him but an angry growl or snarl," Another instance is quoted as having occurred at t'hnpra. A Hindoo father and mother went nut to cut their crop in March, 1SPI. The woman Imd with her a little boy, who lately hud been se verely bnri.ed on the left knee. While tho parents were at work the child was carried off by a wolf. Some time after ward a wolf with three small cubs was seen about ten miles from t'hupra, fol lowed by a boy. The boy, after much resistance, was caught and recognized by the murk of tho burn on his knee. Ho could eat nothing but raw flesh, and could never be brought to speak. He used to mutter and'snarl, but never ar ticulated distinctly. The paus of his knees andMhe points of his elbows bad become horny from going on all fours with the wolves. In November, 1H5, this boy osciiikhI again aud disappeared iu the jungle. Thus the she wolf's lit ter of Mucanlay's "Lays of Ancient Koine" may, have been, after all, no myth. Geese have been known to live to ihe age of eighty years. (rrciuii Beaut'. Much has been said in praiso of Grecian beauty, and tho men are hand some in every sense of the word. We might well imagine them to have been models of Phideas and Praxiteles. Their large eyes, black as jet, spuikle with glances of fire, while their lorg, silky eyelashes soften tho expression, and give a dreamy appearance of melan choly. Thei- teeth uro small, white aud well set; a line regular profile, a pale olive complexion and a tall, elegant tigure realize an accomplished type of distinction. As to the women, they seem to have left physical perfection to the men ; some possess line eyes and hair, but as a rule they have bad figures, and some defect iu the face generally spoils the good features. It is among them, however, that the old oriental customs are most strictly preserved ; while the men are gradually undergoing the process of civilization they, in a moral point of view, remain stationary, and are just ai they were fifty years ago. It may, indeed, bo said that, with the exception of Athens, tho women possess no individual existence, ami count as nothing iu society. The men have rcM'rved every privilege fur them selves, leaving to their helpmates the care of the house and family. Iu the towns, where servants are kept, they lire of the poorest class of peasants, who know nothing, aud receive miseiable wages. 'J ho families are generally large seven or eight little children de mand a mother's constant attention. The lie lining begins by directing the work of each servant, repealing the same thing a hundred t hues, scolding, screaming, even beating them to be understood. Iu the evening, when the children are slccpim:, if there remain some little time, the poor, worn-out mother sits down to her spinning-wheel to spin silk, to sew or knit, or, if it be summer time, to lookufttr her cocoons, happy if she has not to do the work of her incompetent servants over again. A Scheme lo liiicoiirugc Wedlock. At the next meeting of the Onlurii legislature iipplieatioii will be made eir the incorporation of the National Mar riage Dowry Association. The oljeei (it the promoters of the scheme is in all probability to make money, but the re sult of their quest of money will uu doubtcdly be to encourage the man and tli; maid to wed. Tie" society lii'st began its operations iu Indiana, aud is now casting its benevolent arms out the bachelors and spinsters iu other stales, territories, and provinces. u the words of the circular, the association is established "to encourage lawful wedlock, to promote economy, to endow' homes, and to make married life Ihe end and aim of the rich and poor alike." The scheme is us follows : Supposing John Smith, on the blth day of August, casts his lot iu with this association, lie pays, in the first place, . lor his cer tificate, and a seini-atinual puyim i.l thereafter of SI. In case some of his eo-insurers many, and there not being sufficient funds in the treasurer's hands to pay the sum to which the newly mar ried mau is entitled, an assessment ot SI is levied all round. These are the payments to which he is liable. The benefits are that should he marry ou the Kith or August, lss'j, he is entitled to S2(H). Should his marriage not occur for live years, he would be entitled to $1,(MM), and so on. We don't suppose that ladies are excluded from tho asso ciation. It's a grand scheme. Any young lady who was known to have one fr these certificates would be the ob served of all observers, and the admired of all admirers. At church and market places she would not want for swains. - I.i'udim I ' iit irii') Atlrrrli't The .1 minimis Maters at Carl-lnul. Not the least curious purl of tlieellecl of these wonderfully impregnated wafers are the exactly opposite effects they have on different people. Amus ing dialogues may frequently bo heard in cousequeuce. The daughter of a con spicuous New York publicist had been drinking from the Froderichshriinn for some time, when, meeting a New York acquaintance, a young girl, she asked in astonishment : "What are you drink ing from this spring for?" "To get flesh," promptly responded the oilier. "Why,"exclainiedtlie first, indignantly, "I'm drinking it to g-'t thin." Then the two girls tore over to their physician, a celebrated professor from Vicuna, and beset, him for deceiving tliem. He ex plained that the water on certain con stitutions would have ouo effect and upon another a directly opposite. The girls retired, by no means convinced of this miraculous discrimination of tho springs, but at the end of four weeks the doctor was jitslilied. The stout girl had lost seventeen pounds of flesh and the delicate girl had gained nine. A gentlemen who had grown tired of a suit of clothes said to his valet, "John, I have a great mind to givo you this suit of clothes. Suppose yon try it on and see if it will fit ?" John replied, in language not propitious to the farther exhibition of generous impulses, "I urn sure it will tit roe, sir, for I tried it on the other night, and wore it to the circtiB." ITEMS OF IXTEKKST. In an effort to enforce, in St. Louis, a law against carrying concealed weapons, fines as high asSKHI for a pistol and 6200 for a sluiigshot aro being imposed. Irwin Stark, of Harbor Crook, Erie county, has a yoke of trotting steers, three years old. One of them goes sin gle inside of four minutes. "You don't know how it pains mo to punish you," said the teacher. "I guess there's the most pain nt the end of the stick," replied the boy, feelingly. 'T any rate, I'd bo williug to swap." George Dorn, an attorney of Erie, became suddeuly crazy in tho presence of a great multitude at an open-air meeting nud announced himself the Son of God and appointed to convert Ohio and Peiiesy Ivani.i. Three Michigan girls made up parly and eloped with u young mini. I5y go ing lo three different ministers, ho married nil three of bis companions; and then they went on a tripartite bridal tour. I'. M. Darnell, a dwarf, four feet four inches high, caused a sensation in Co lumbus, ( ia., by appearing in the streets with a son only :s:i inches high, though nine years old. The father has four children, two of whom are dwarfish, while the other two aro of the ordinary height. There must be soiiielhinr; wrong aboti' the family government when a four year-old boy is heard praying: "Oh Lord, take all the naughty out of Johnny, and all tliesi-.dd mil. of papa, uud all tin- punish out ot mamma. Amen." No doubt the little fellow fell asleep after that, iu t blissful confidence Unit life was going to be brighter for li i til . The South lias never seen anything to equal the preparations being mado for the International Cot I on Exposition. Hundreds of workmen are busy day and night on the grounds, nud the lumber for building is sawed on the grounds by steam saw mills that run day and night. The main building is hOO feet iu length, with a central tower 100 feet square, and wjth wings th feet in length. Tin:; bnil ling i overs less than half the floor space of the other buildings. This is only one of the many huge edifices going up like magic. The hall for re ceptions and speaking is loo feet square, and a huge double hall for art exhibits is much larger. Every inch of room has beeu applied for, and still other buildings are being planned and execu ted. The grounds have beeu sown dow n to grass, and roads and promenades cut. The beauty of the grounds will bo au attractive feature, aud fountains and shrubbery have sprung into exist ence where n few weeks ago wero the "old red hills of Georgia." Sucli a (.Ytliny up stairs. Try to lasso a comet, swallow a whale, or paste "for rent" on tho moon and -tars, but don't attempt to restrain a boy when there is a circus proc "saion pervading town. Down at Mr. Earth quake's private school they had a high old time when the hist circus was in town. The parade was taking place just r.s school closed. It is Mr. E.'s system to call each boy's name, hear his report and dismiss them one at u time. On that day he began. The first boy dismissed started down the stairs on the jump, wild to get out. Mr. Kag bug had just started up those stairs to see a man w ho had uu office in the building, and a collision occurred and breath was knocked out of Ragbag, as tho two were stacked ut the foot of tho stairs. Tho boy sprang up, waited for no explanation, but rail to find tho procession. Kagbag brushed himself and started up stairs. Bang! Tho sec ond boy came down, and another col lision occurred. Liko the first boy the second flew away. Uaghug didn't un derstand it, but started up again just iu time to hit tho third boy. Then Kagbag began to get excited. Ho tried to grab the boy to spank him, but the boy escaped. I'sing emphatic discourse, Kagbag stinted in once more. The boy who came that time had fallen down from the top stair, and the col lision was terrific. However, Kagbag got hold of him and bud time to spank him, and then got half way up the stairs before the next, boy came along and knocked him down. By that time Kagbag was wild, and swore he'd get up those stairs. He spanked that boy and started again, and, with unfailing monotony, cume back for thirty-seven times more, only six of tho thirty-seven boys being quick enough to elude the spunking. By that time Mr. Kagbng was sadly bruised and soiled. He re solved to hide behind tho door and wait for the next boy to come. The next proved to be Mr. Earthquake, and that gentleman was amazed on reaching the foot of the stairs, to bo seized by a man and spanked. However, ho recov ered his presence of n.ind, and turned to and brushed the floor and the side walk with Kagbag, before he let him go. And Kagbag went homo all broke up, and finding his eldest boy, spanked the lad till he was blistered, before his mind was freed, Motion font,
The Chatham Record (Pittsboro, N.C.)
Standardized title groups preceding, succeeding, and alternate titles together.
Sept. 22, 1881, edition 1
1
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