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0 / 75
H. A. LONDON, Jr.,
FDITuK AND ruOPKIETOR.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
Orieaijuare, oneliiMitleti, 11
Oiisiian,tu'iliiM'iii, . l w
aeii.irea'Mi'iM"ni)i, . j.so
Onseoejr .six iii.intha
Om capr, Uii-w luoutU;, 1
"i VOL. IV.
PITTSBOKO CHATHAM CO., N. C, JUNE 15, 1882.
tr larger advertisement lil-r .1 ontrarts will
tyeak Well of Eat'h Oilier.
Thin,' of greatest moment ufttu
Hurt from trifles liiit na uir,
And tbiu many guiltless be-inxs
line bif a hunted to dei-pair
By the vpuoiuoi video of goerip, which throws
Sonietitnca in our own homo clrclo
Words are spoken tliuut;hlc,ly,
Pointing Willi a sliadn of reason
Toward a friend's intern:; ;
Thoae few words may gather others liJI a ecau
dal vat we see.
Sometime, ton, vague hints mar v, ;,'. n
lioubta and tears within the so'il ;
Hints concerning trivial aeiimi
Deep suspicious may unroll,
Dunging tome loved ones in tiou! which
no effort can control.
Yet she may l e J cor and ;;".i!e!ei,
Freo from every tin iigli! of ill ;
But that hint, s i.liy spuki n,
Oralis its deadly pun-on still ;
Biicb light words of gofsip Hai l.-1 cm itli
grief a young life liil.
Every one is pr ne t j filler,
Clouds on tvurj heart may fall ;
8ome grope onward, led by Folly,
8 inie respond to J'uty's rail ;
Our friend's case we ciniw f.ithom, w
should never Judgy at all.
Rpcak not ill of friend or lever,
They may prove true iu the m l ;
Best be blind to little failing-),
And stand ready to defend ;
Always striving to discover s jine lie virtue in
Burdened by gomu foul injustice ;
Htung by slights that seldom fail,
Innocence is otleu wounded
By suspicion's lliii.ty veil,
And that veil each day grows t'lieher thioiigh
the bCJiidul-Iovcr's tale.
Then beware of passing gossip ;
Light as is tho siioiv-llake's fall,
It will gather in its a-sago
Till the ilrilt is huge an I tail.
Ho when speaking i f a neijjib. r say g.-ol
things or none it I all.
A PROFESSED COOK.
" 'Wanted a situation by o professed
cjok. Tho licet city references fiver,'
The veiy thing," I mentally exclaimed,
as my eye fell on thin advertisement in
a morning paper. " Yes, I'll try a pro
fesod rook this time, fir I verily be
lieve that ' good plain coot ' in only n
synonym for bad coffee, lurojiy potutoes,
and juice less meats."
I put on my bonnet and lint ri tl off
to secure the tftaure. To my great
disappointment she, was nut i i ; but,
leaving word for her to cull in tbe even
ing, I went away, hoping that the guests
who wero t) arrive in a day or two
would not find me cooklcss, ni I had at
Ereuing came, and with it a cook. 1
bid been running over in my mind the
Virions questions wbicli I intended ask
ing her, and the various duties which
she was to be told the must per
form, determined that there should
bo no excUHu licmifterforuny omission,
btcaute the did not know that such and
such thing was expected of her. 1
went into the dining-room, (where she
bad been ushered,) ar.d found her
standing in the mi Idle of it, deliberately
" This is Margaret McNnlty, I sup
pose ? " I said, as I went in.
" Yis, ma'am," was the reply, with a
slight brogue, " Are you tho otild lady's
I smiled at this, no doubt ; for bow
could I help feeling the flattery ? I, who
had been married more years thin I
choose to tell.
"No; I am the mit trees of the
bouse," I replied.
"Oh, jis, I jist supposed ye was tho
mistbress of the house from yer seeing
me; but isn't there an onld lady, too?"
"No," I answered, forgetting, in my
astonishment at her questions, to put
any of ray own.
"Thin this isn't Mr. Gordon's
bouse ? " she said.
"No. Mr. Gordon hain't live 1 here
for aomo years."
"Ob, well, be did live here; and I
knew the onld lady couldn't be you ;
for, you see, I was well acquainted with
"Uan you give me good reference?"
I said, asking the first question I had
been able to in the Interview.
" Ob, yis, I can jist give you the best
riforences in the city. Yon see, ma'am,
I'm a professed cook. I can do ivery
thing in the way of cooking in the
world. I can make all kinds of sonp,
and pastry, and fancy dishes yon can
name; and aa for desserts, there is
nothing I can't do."
My heart fell. I began to fear that
abe oould do too much ; but I thought
of my expected guests, and determined
to give her a trial at least.
"If you can do all those things I
ought - to be satisfied," I said. " Can
you make Charlotte Russe ? "
" Well now, ma'am yon see, Charlotte
Basse is the only thing I can't make.
My band ain't good at Charlotte, some
how; but I oan make Italian creams,
and Frenoh creams, and syllybubs, and
onffles, and iverytbing you can men
tion, ma'am, but Charlotte ; I ain't good
at Charlotte. What wages do you give,
ma'am ? "
" Two. dollars and a half a week," I
" Well, I have lived out for two dol
lars and a half a week ; but I mostly
have been getting three dollars, ma'am.
You see, lima professed cook, andean
We need not talk further of it, then,
Margaret. I shall not pay more than
two dollars and a half a week-''
" Well, ma'am, as I like you, I
wouldn't let fifty cents a week part
friends ; I'll take two and a half, bat I
give you my word cf honer, ma'am, that
I havo an offer at Dr. Howell's, down
the street, at sleven dollars a month,
sirs, llowell said she never paid more
than tei dollars ; but tho doctor said he
liked my face, ma'am, so be said he
would give me eleven dollars if I'd go
but still fifty cents sha'n't part us,
ma'am. What's your name ma'am ?
don't think I rightly heard."
" Newton," I answered, much
" Newton? Oh, yis ; I've heard of it ;
it's a very respectable namo indeed. A
very good family, nia'nui I "
But you have not told my yet, Mar
garet, where you have Leeu living;
am not willing to take a cook without n
Oil, here's a bit of naper, ma'am,
that I got from Mrs. Wilson, where I
lived last a kind of recommend, you
s e for when"
' That will not answer. I never taku
a esrvaut from a written recommenda
tion ; I niusl see some ono with whom
she has lived."
"I intirely approve of i-', niVani, in-
tirely ; besides, it's not fashionable now
to have written character, I bolieve
1 was getting desperate.
"Where dec j Mr. Wihon live?"
" 0!i, hhe's moved. 8he live on
street, on the right baud side of tho
wnv ; only a modorato sized house, but
you'll Hud it nately furnished. You
don t think wo could strike a bargain
now, do you? I would come and stay a
week, and you could try me, and iu the
meantime you could inquire my char
acter, and if we didn't suit each other,
why no harm done."
1 wai breathless with all this volubility;
so, opening the door, I told her to call
the nest day, at noon, for her answer.
Biie had gone half way down tho hall,
when hhe turned and asked,
"ilivo jou stationary wash-tubs?"
"Not stationary wat-h-tubs? Thsi'.'s
strange ; there is always stationary watth
tubs iu the first families. I suppose
you've a range, and hot and cold water
pipes in the kitchen ? "
" Well, ma'am, could I fee lh3
kitchen ? I always like to soe the
kitchen before I engage to go to a
" It will be time enough for that when
I make up my iniud that you will suit
mo, ' I answered, waking resolutely to
the front door.
Nothing but tho fear of my friend
coming and finding mo without a cook
would havo induced mo even to inquire
iuto Margaret's character. The mistress
of the "moderate sized house, nately
furnished," gave her a sufiioiently good
reputation to make mo take hr on trial.
Hhe had been installed in the kitchen
but a few hours when I was sent for,
and found all the pots and kettles, and,
in fact, every kind of cooting utensil,
oat in tho middle of the floor.
" I'm very particular, ma'am," she be
gan, "about the things I cook with.
You'll have to get me another sort of a
tin k'tchen ; I can't roast with this up
and down thing at all." (My lust cook
bud discarded the old faihioued tin
kitchen for an upright one to fit tbe
range.) " And this boof-steak broiler
why, it aiu't fit to cook with in a gen
Ho she went over nearly every kitchen
article before her sometimes condescend
ing to praise a thing very faintly, or
saying perhaps she oould make it do,
but requiring me to spend twenty dol
lars for new articles.
Of course I waited for the first din
ner with much anxiety, and I hardly
need say that it was a failure. The sonp
had a very French look, to be sure, for
is was thin and black, but utterly in
sipid ; the potatoes came on in fancy
pyramids, but were heavy and cold ; the
cranborrids, beautifully molded, were
burnt, and the meat scarcely warmed
through. I consoled myself, however,
by thinking that perhaps the dessert
'might prove more successful. But, alasl
the pastry was as tough as leather, and
the custard like water.
I worriod through a woek with my
" professed cook," but at the end of it
we all bad tbe dyspepsia, and my store
closet was not noarly so well filled as
when she oame. It may be that pro
fessed cooks require more articles to get
up their meals with, and are naturally
mere extravagant than others ; but I
snsprct that Margaret had sisters and
friends to whom she was benevolent at
my expense, so I dismissed her, and I
am sure that I shall never again bave
the temerity to try a professed cook.
The best thing in bonnets continues
to be as In the past A pretty faoe.
"There is probably not oi;o farmer in
ten thousand," says an exchange, "who
keeps a h t of accounts from which bo
can at any moment lturn tho cost of
anything ho may have produced, or
even tho cobt of his real property. A
very few farmers who bave luen bronght
up to business halts keep such accounts
and are el.e to tell how their affairs
progress, what each crop, each kind of
stock, or each animal has cost and what
each produces. Knowing these points
a farmer can, to a very great extent,
properly decide what crops he will grow
and what kind of btoek he will keep.
He will thus lo ubio to apply his lull or
and money where it will do tho mobt
good. lie can weed out his stock and
retuia only such animuls as may lo kept
with protit. For the want of such
knowledge furme;s continue, year ufter
year, to feed cows that are unproliti Me,
and frequently sell for lots than hor
value ono that i-i the l'.'st of tho herd,
because bhe i-i not known to Id any lut
ter than the ret. Feed is ulso wasted
upon ill-bred stock, and keep of which
cobts three or four times thut of well
bred animald, which, as havo luen
proved by figures thut cannot 13 mis
taken, pay a large protit on their keep
ing. For want of knowing what they
cost, poor crops are raised year by year
at an actual lots, provided the farmer's
lulur, at tho rates current for common
labor, were charred against them. To
learn thut he Iihm li-.cn working for fifty
cents a day during a uumli.'r of years,
while ho has lnon paying his help twice
as much, would open the eyes of many
a farmer who , has actually luen doing
tin's, and it would convince him that
there is toni v.d'io in figures und Inok
avounts. It ii not generally under
stood tint a mn who raises twen'v
barbels of corn per ucro pays twice as
much for his ploughing nnl harrowiuir,
twice as much for lulur, and twice as
great interest upon the cost of his farm
as a neigLlnr who laiscs forty b.ishels
per acre. Nor is it understood thut
when he raises a pig thut makes one
hundred and fifty pounds of pork in u
year that his pork coMs him twice as
much cr the coin ho fid.-, brirgs him
but half as much as thut of his neigh
bor, whofe pig weighs three hundred
pounds nt u yeur old. II ull these things
were cleurly set down iu figures ttpoti u
pngo in uu uceoutit book, uud were
studied, there woud i not only u Mid
den awakening to the mi rolitl'!eiicbn
of such farming, but uu immediate
remedy would ba sought. For w er-
son could resist evidence of this kind if
it wero onco b.onght plainly home to
him. It ttoreketpers, met chuntf, or
manufacturers kept no accounts they
could not possibly carry on their b .isi
ness, and it is only hcuusn tho farmer's
business is one of the most safe that
he can still go ou working in tho dark
and throwing away opportunities of but
tering bis condition uud increasing his
How llrinkliiK I'll uses Apuplexr
It is tho es.seutiul nature of ull wines
and spirits to send un increuiied amount
of blood to the brain. Tho first ellect
of taking a glass of wine or stronger
form of alcohol is to send the blood
there faster than common. Hence the
circulation that gives the red fuco. It
increases the activity of the brain, and
t works faster, and so docs the tongue;
but as the blood goes faster tlmn com
mon to the brain, it returns faster, and
no immediate barm may result. But
suppose a man keeps on drinking, the
blood is sent to the brain eo fat in
large quantities that, in order to mukc
room for it, the arteries havo to charge,
themselves. They increaso in size, and,
in doing so, they press agaiust the more
yielding flaccid veins, which carry the
blood out of tho bruin and thus
diminish the size of their pores the
result being that the blood is not only
carried to the arteries of the brain
faster than is nataral or healthful, but
t is prevented from leaving it us fast as
usual, nonce a dotiblo sot of causes of
death are in operation. Ilenco a man
may drink enough of brandy or other
spirits in a few hours, or even minutes,
to bring on a fatal attack of apoplexy.
This is literally being dt a 1 drunk.
Tutting on Airs.
The other tiny a colored lady of
standing, Mrs. Simpson, purola-od a
Gamesborough, and visited M re. Fen
nel. It was evident that Mrs. Simpson
possessed a few airs which sho wished
to display over Mrs. Fennel. "My hus
band," said Mrs. Simpson, "wanted me
ter get a finer hat den dis, bnt reflect
ing dat the $20 bills in tho lnttom of
de drawer was gctton san tor scarce like,
I concluded to content myself wid a
$5tnV" "Wall, yer was savin'," re
remarked Mrs. Fennel, and then step
ping to the door, exclaimed : "Tildy,
take dat ? 1,000 bill away from dat
chile. He tore np two yesterday. Dar
ain't no sense in allowin' chillrtn ter
stroy money in dat way." Mrs. Simpson
retired, realizing that her bat was a
failure. Little llnok Gazette.
When a writer couples the words
"Christina statermai" togethor be does
one or the other a lank injustice
lilts of Science.
Sehol's liquid blacking cons-'sts of fifty
parts anphalte, fifty parts naphtha, six
purls linseed oil varnish, fourteen parts
traiu oil and thirteen j arts spirits of
It has b.-en proved by Herr A. Muntz
and others that tie fcubititution of maize
for oats in feed. ng horses has bjen at
tended with very satisfactory results.
It is stated that the htreets and public
places of Paris are lighted with 45,815
gas b irners, sixty-three electric lamps,
sixty five vegetable oil latnpc, and 2'.f.i
mineral oil lamps.
A great number of n iulyses and ex.
perimcuts conducted by Mr. A. Lovy,
show that grapes ripened in sunlight
con'a'n H.5I per cent, more Migar, and
1 237 less acids tlm those nn'.ured in
From nn examination of (-tatisties com
piled b Dr. Andrews, of Chicago, nnd
Dr. Itichurdson, of London, ether is
by far the m'est tf anm-ithetics, only
one death occurring from it in the course
of 2') I!1 1 1 u Immigrations. Bichloride
of methylene causes death one 3 inG,O!J0
instances of i's use.
Tho Sanitary Engineer is glal thnt
the officials of wa'er works in New Eng
land a-e iilout to organizj an associa
tion. It lolieves that such a society
will lo of great service in nlvancinpr
some of the important questions which
concern the nnuaftenicnt of public water
supplies, such n? waste, etc.
At Salib irj, in tho Tyrol, somo old
bricks were found to lo an?notic. Ex.
periments on tho clays in the neigbbir
hoo.l showed that tho bricks, which
contained brounerite, nib n l ite, argilla
ceous iron g!net, chloriio and horn
blende, Imti'ue, after intense heatin;
capsb'.e of utr!c!ing a magnet.
Tho gasometer of the greatest height
and the largest capacity is in tho pos
sesion of the South Metropolitan Gas
Company, London, England. Tho in
ner lift is 2 ' feet diameter by fifty
three feet six inches deep; middle lift,
211 feet d 'nueter by flfty-throo feet three
inches; outer lift, 211 feet diameter by
fifty thre feet, thm having a total
height of 1-1D feet nine inches.
The new or "Wells co!net" is steadily
increasing in brightness, and must ere
long 1)3 a very conspicuous object in the
hoavei s without thu nid of a telescope.
According to Mr. William 11. Brooks,
of the Bed II ouso Olnervutory, Phelps,
N. V., its approxiniiito position on
May 1, will Ion 1 follows: Right as
cension, twenty hours, thirty eight
minutes; north declination, sixty-eight
degrees fifty seconds.
In Norway, woodpeckers damage tele
graph poles by boring through them,
sr,prsing that tho humming sound pro
duced by the wires is caused by insects
upon which they feed. Bears also re
move tho supports of the poles, iustinct
leading them to suspect thnt the hum
mine; is produced by wild baes and that
the poles contain honey. Instinct, like
reason, is not infallible.
The Lancet publishes a communica
tion to tho effect tl:n' loracio 11 aid two
drams, glycerino half un ounco, and
water hilf an ounce, well mixed and ap
plied freely to the funces every hour,
and less frequently when tbe dangerous
symptoms show signs of abating, will
provo of advantage in treating diph
theria. The applicatioa must not be
discontinued too abruptly ortbe deposit
These are Mr. O. Comes's observa
tions on the effect of the light on tho
transpiration of plants : The transpi
ration of water is effected by light 10
well as by the other physical agents in
fluencing evaporation; and therefore,
plants transpire moro by day than dnr
ing the night, and tho 11 mount is pro
portioned to tho intensity of the ligbti
und the parts of tho plants which trans
pire most are those which are most in
(rant's First lilay of Cowardice.
At tho marriage of John Bussell
Young, to Miss Coleman at Hartford
rccentlr. General Grant was a guest,
and when the ceremony was over tho
company waited for the general to take
precedence in extending congratula
tions. Tho general went forward, lead
ing Lis pretty little grand-daughter,
Fred Grant's child, by tbo band, and
after t-hnking hands with the bride said
to his grandchild :" Won't you kiss tbe
lady?" The bride caught the child in
her arms, kissed it, and then looking
up blushingly, said : "I would like to
kiss tho grandfather, too, if I dared."
Tho veteran warrior, who had faced a
blazing battery, seemed all at onoa to
become a trembling coward, no flushed
np, looking sheepish, but conscious
that tbe bride was peeping at him
from behind drooping eyelids and was
waiting for bim to say or do something,
mechanically extended hia hand, and
tbe next moment a fair face was in bit
beard, imprinting a kiss upon the line
trot marked his mouth. He seemed to
be in a tremor as be grasped his grand
child's band and backed away. All
tbe young gallants were surprised at the
cowardice of an old soldier before a
pair of fresh, inviting lips,
Satin straws are popular.
Worth uses jet profusely.
Tournurcs are very largo.
Bampaut ruches are (tjlish.
Garden flowers are fashionable.
Cloth jackets are severely plain.
Hoees border evening dress skirts.
Colored grenadines will bo worn
Little girls wear wido wlii'e neckties.
London be nities color their hair li-
Fans have kittens' beads painted on
Whito wool dresses are niude in
Gentlemen's folded scarfs are worn by
Suede gloves are worn in terra cotta
Punier draperies modernizo lai-t year's
Coided silk rivals sutiu for bi ides'
Ostrich feather pompons are worn in
Trailing arbutus is the favorite flower
at present for corsage be 11 juets.
Lavru tenuis Mi i pes como in red,
olive and Japanese bluo shades.
New veils are seal brown or wine col
ored tulle dotted with chenille.
Jet collars and cuffs are wired for
trimming black grenadine dresses.
White flannel dresses will be popular
in the country with young ladies.
Tho Boulevard parasol is 11 it in
Japanese fashions, and las many 11 ir
Young ladies wear eglantine flowers
arranged in an Alsatian bow on straw
Pink is a favorite color for young
ladies' dresses, both for morning nnd
E'ght bridesmaids at a fashionable
wedding of the past week carried bas
kets of rosebuds, each having a differ
ent variety of roses.
Apropos of Nothing.
It was iu the smoking-car on tho New
York Central. There wus ono chap who
was blustering a great deal und telling
of how many duels ho had fought, and
behind him tat n small man reading u
" Sir 1 " raid the big man as he wheel
ed around, " what would you do if chul
icnged ? "
"Befuse," was tho quiet reply.
" Ah ! I thought us much. Befuse
and bo branded a coward I Whut if a
gentleman offered you tho choice of a
duel or apnblic horsewhipping then
"I'd take tho whipping."
"Ah I thought so thought ho from
the looks of you. Suppose, sir, you
bad foully slaudered me? "
" I never Blunder."
" Then, sir, snpposo I had coolly and
deliberately insulted you ; what would
"I'd rio np this way, put down my
book this way, and reach over like this
and take him by the nose as I take you,
and give it a three-quarter twibt-just
When the little man let go of tho log
man's nose, the man with tho whito hut
on b 'gan to crouch down to get uwuy
from ballets, but there was no bhootiug.
The big mun turned red then pule
then looked the little mun over, and re
" Certainly of course that's it ex
actly I "
And then the conversation turned on
the general prosperity of the country.
I Freo Press.
At a recent trial in tho Lenawee
county court-room, a young Adrian
lawyer was defending a client charged
with larceny. A female relative was on
tho stand, and, on direct examination,
had sworn to a statement directly oppo
site to oue sho hud mude to tho young
lawyer in his ollice. The youth started
in on tho cross-examination with greut
vigor and an extended (ore finger. Tbe
following was about the way the matter
Lawyer" I understood you to swear
so and so on your direct examination."
Witness" Yes, sir."
L. "Did you not say to meso-und-bo
in my office?"
W. " Yes, sir."
L. " Well, and now you come upon
the stand und swear directly the oppo
site?" W. " Yes, sir."
L. " Then you must lie in one or the
othor statements ? "
W. " Yes, sir."
L. ' And which is the truth ?"
W. Which I have just sworn to."
L " It is, eh ? Now, will you tell
me why you lied to me ? "
W. Oh, you looked like a fellow I
could " stuff."
We leavo it to some of tho writers of
harrowing fiction to deseriba the feel
ings of the young limb cf the law. vVe
are not equal to that sort of thing.
Perhaps the summer is waiting for
the sea aide hotels to get roily.
Biding 1111 Alligator li .ire-bur'-.
A scene took p'aco ut Lake Loch -loova
btution on the Peninsular railroud
which for genuine excitement and sen
sation will completely lay in tho shude
tho bi ht Spanish bull fight on record.
A patty of men on the wbitrf raw a lurge
alligator about a hundred yards out in
tho 1 ike gently repo-iiug umid the rip
ple thut a pleasant breezn was making.
Somo of tho party got into a boat,
carrying with them a small harpoon
hook, und rowed out to the alligator.
When in convenient distance the har
poon was thrown aul with nnerriug
shot mado its way iuto the beast just
behind the right fore leg. No soorer
than this was done, and while tho alli
gator wus raging in the waters in its
most powerful efforts to r)eno itself,
one 01 tho party, a Mr. Posey, a man
probably fifty years of age, leaped into
tho lake, sivaru to tho rearing uud surg
ing monster, got upon its back, prsbjed
it around tho ne-.-k and rode it to land
amid the idiouts of thos" who wero for
tunate enough t j -fitness the exciting
scene. When measured tho monster
was found to be ten feet ami fix itches
long. Strang.! to say, after Mr. Posey
had bii-.'ked bim and grippled him
around the neck the beast win almost
entirely subdaed. A few lunges and
he quietly followed the tightening cf
the rope until he reached the bhore a
tamer but greatly confused ttlligutnr.
Uis mouth was then muzzled und a rope
tiid around his lu'lly, and it was hauled
up on the platform ut the depot.
When the iifternoon train came along
the passengers got out to look at the
beust und its valiant captcr, nud then
another scene took place quite as excit
ing aud extraordinary us the ono in the
wuter. Poioy got ou tho 'gator to lide
it for the enter. uiiiment of the crowd.
;Vfter much ticklicij and spurring he
urotised the animal into such a desper
ute struggle for freedom that everybody
expected t) see some one literally
chewed up nnd swallowed by it. In the
melee it suupped tho ropes that were
bound around its long aud brutal
mouth, and then, making a dash for
the gruuud, it was swuug up by the
rope, tied by its bedy, un I fastened to
upot It soon broke this und Ml
heavily to the ground, when it put out
for the lake. But it ws seureely
landed before Posey was on its back,
when :i strit-glo ensued between mun
and iiliigat .r that could scarcely have
its parallel iu the arena of acrobatic
The crowd scattered ut this upulling
scene, und men there who, if fist-lights
with alligators were a feasible and
practicable thing, would bo strong
enough for the bu.iiuess, exclaimed tin
tho world hud not treasure enough to
enter such a struggle. Yet, iu u few
seconds, Posey was master of tho situa
tion, tho saurian was conquered nnd
lay us qtietly under the grmp of its
conqueror us if, instead of being four
hundred pouuds of real live alligator, it
wus the most cowardly cur. A shout
of uctory went up for Posey, uud par
ties went to his assistance, und, again
tying und securiug tho animal, the job
was completed aud tho hero of the
fight offered his prisoner in market for
tho trilling sum of ten dollars.- Flori
A Tartar's ( ourthip.
" What do you pay in yoar country
for a wife ? " usked a Tartar of un Eng
lishman. " Wo pay nothing. We ask the girl,
and if she sujs yes, und her parents
dou't refuse, wo marry her.''
" But if the girl does not like yon ?
If sho hit you on tho head with her
whip, or gallops uwuy when yon ride up
to her side?" replied tho Tartar, refer
ring to his nation's method of courtship
by running after a girl ou horstbick.
What do you do iu that case ? "
" Why, we do not marry her."
" But if yon want to marry her very
much ; ii you love her more thuu your
best horse, aud all your sheep und cam
els put together ? " the Tartar persisted,
putting uu extreme cuso for the sake ef
"We cannot marry her without her
"And are the girls moonfaced?" bo
continued, setting forth a Tartar's per
fection of female beauty.
For a few moments lie seemed lost in
meditation. Presently, removing bis
sheepskin hut, and robbing his shaven
head, ho asked,
" Will you take me with yon to your
country? It would lo so nice. I should
get a mocnfueed wife, and all for noth
ing. Why, she would not cost so much
as a sheep."
"But suppose she would not have
you ? "
"Not have mo I " and the Tartar
looked asloni thod. " Not have me !
Well, I should give her a white wrap
per, or a ring for her ears or her nose.'
"And if she still refused you?"
" Why, I should give her a gold or
nament for her head, aud what girl
e mid resist such a present ? "
Virginians flatter themselves tin, tbe
color of tho James 1 liver is old gold.
Three ;owl llortors.
The l;e"l of all tlm pill-hox cre'v,
his'-o ( ver tiuiu hi i;;in,
Arc the iloi tors who have must to do
With th'i health i f a hearty in in.
Ami so I count tlx ni np tfitiu.
An ; mine them lis 1 run :
Thcre'n l,-. I)i't,an l 1 r. ',' li'jt,
And I r. Jb riyin ni.
Thi re's lir. be t, he trim my toi truo,
" I know yon well," sjj l.c,
"Your stomach is p i"r, mel your liver U
Wi- must makf your food trre."
And Iir. '.iiiiet, he feels my unst.
Ami he (,'rav.ly shakes h,s hea l. ,
.ov, now, ileal4 sir, I 11 u-t iin-ist
That you go at ten to he l."
lint Ir. M' rryaaan for mr
i all the pill-l.ox en:
I'or hf Hinilra and says, an he Mm hi fee,
" i,.iu;;h on, whatever you do!-'
S i now I cat what I otiht to "at,
Ami at ti n I t--i, to In. I,
And I UiiK'h in the face of fold or heat ;
I or tints have tho ilovtors said !
An 1 mj I eotiiit them up a(iiii.
An. I praise tie in ai I .-an :
Tin re's Ir. Jmi ami )Jr. in t,
Ami I r. M'-rn man.
ITLMS OF IMTEKEKT.
The shells used for cameo catting are
mussles. Tho finest are found in trop
A b'ind Philadelphia begin r is found
to have several thousand dollars in a
Huviugs ! ink.
There is perfect daikce js at tbe North
Polo from November thirteenth to Jan
uary twenty-ninth, a period of seventy
The builder who helped Lafayette to
lay the ccrner-stone of the Bunker Dill
monnment, fifty-seven years ago, still
works iu Boston.
Of late, English pawnbrokers have, in
cousequence of the deadly diseases pro
pagated by filthy uud infected clothing,
insisted ou linen und bedding being
In Berlin tho practice is to bave an
anulvsis made of the uir in tho cellar
before hiriug a house. Tho chemists
Miy tint some feurful and wonderful
constituents are discovered therein.
A fund of moro than .!ll00t) has been
raised for tho wido of the l!ev. Dr.
Bellows. It was freely given by the
uiciiibers of tho church of which Dr.
Bellows was for many years the pastor.
James and John Troy of Sun Fran
cisco were brothers aud closo friends,
and when James's wife dreamed that
she saw them fighting with knives, they
laughed ut her serious view of the mut
ter. Two l.ihts later they were carous
ing together in n saloon. A quarrel
arose, they drew their poeket knives and
fought, and James was killed.
Male prisoners between thirteen and
sixty in English j.iii.-i. if iu sound health,
sleei) on a plank on eutcring prison
until they have attained two hundred
and forty murks, after which they have
a mattress five nights in each week till
they have earned four hundred and
eighty murks, then for six nights till
they have earned seven hundred and
twenty, and then a mattress every night.
Shakspeare must have ha 1 in micd the
Arctic regions when he wrote
"That uncliscovi red eountrv. from whoso
Vi traveler returns."
I see by the daily papers that Anna
Dickinson has b.-en playing Hamlet.
Whut on eurth have I ever done to Miss
Dickinson? William Shakspeare.
" A Venerable Topic " is tho beading
of a coluinu of editorial on the weathor
in tbe I'.liuiru Advertiser. Whycouldn't
the Advertiser spell it " Vennorable
topic" and lo done with it I
Perverse : " Women tire so contmry,'
said IfliH'i: "I thought when I got
married my wifo would darn my socks
and let me alone ; instiu 1 of that she lets
my socks alone aud darns me."
An exchange thinks no shares pay so
well us plow-shures. This may lo cor
rect, but most people who hold plow
si , -ires would lo willing to tinlo them
off for bank si tires.
" Hie bies are swarming, and there's
no eud to them," said farmer Jones,
coming into the house. His little boy,
George, cume in a second afterwards
and said there win an end to one of 'em,
and it was red-hot, too.
Mark Twain said to a St. Louis inter
viewer the other day : "I travel I y water
because I don't like the railroad; I
wouldn't go to Hi nven br ia;l if the
chance wero offered me." l'rolubly
Mr. Clemens won't be obliged to go by
rail to the celestial hereafter. lie can
hang on to UJ Ingersoll's coat tails.
Gambi'tta is an old bachelor, and that
fact detnnts from his popularity among
the middle and lower class in Frauee.
Exchange. Some people are always
finding fault. Now, there was Brighau
Young. He wasn't u bachelor, nad yet
theie were people who were always
crying out nguinst bim because be