jL i$t$ Ojjhalham Record. (5 (Unlearn jltrotI. pipm H. A. LONDON, Jr , AO V UT1HING. ewe liquate, on tiirtciitim, tmenquxa, twu lnwrtloiin. 3nesquari), nun innnth, 1.A0 lit ncni .six ni'Utt' ODOCfJpy lliiea niHiittt., -i VOL. V. PITTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, SEPTEMBER 14, 1882. NO. ' S 1 II XVI II rorron ANnrnorBiKTOR. I H II J I TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: j ) Twi Women. A grandma situ iu Lor great arm-chair Balm; sweet ia ilm aof spring air. Through the luttVo I, lilac-shadowed pano She looks to the eietvrd beyond the lane j Anil fihr catch' h Hi" Kleam nfa woman's dress. An it flutters aboi.t in the wind's ciross. "That child in (.'lad aH the day is long -Tier lovcr'B coming, her lilo'a a song !" TJp from tho orchard' flowery lilonni Floats fragrauco lain) to tlm darkening room Yhcre prandma dreams, till a tender grace Aud a Bolter light eteil into her face. Tor once nRiiin she in young ami fair, Ami twining rosea in her li:ur. Once, again, blitho aa tlm lark above, Hlio it only a girl, and a girl in love : The yearn drop firm her their weary pain j Kho ia clasped in hur lo vol's arinagaiii ! The lt faint glimmers of daylight die ; Stars tremble out of tho purple sky, Kro Pora flits up the garden path, Badly afraid of grandma's wrath. With roue-red cheeka and (lying hair Klie nestle down in her old arm-chair. firandma, Pick says, may we -may I -" The faltering voice grows strangely shy. But grandma presses tho Utile hand : "Yen, my dearie, I understand ; "He may have yon, darling !" Not all in vain Did grandma dream she was young again ! She gently twists a shining curl : "Ah, me ' the philosophy of a girl ! "Take the world's treasures --its noblest, hert--And love will outweigh all tho rest !" Aii'J through the caeemeut the moonlight cold S'reams on two heads one gray, one gold. MANAGING A HUSBAND. "Tine, Major Flint is a wealthy man, and goenl-looking, witbal, bat if you in my hiai Le will make ; on his slave tjke my word for it, Miss Atherton." "Dj you thick eo?" taid the lady ad dressed, quietly, looking up from her embroidery. ' Think m? I know it. Yon ciunot have forgotten how his first wife fared. So gentle and lovely, too, as i-he was, yet the poor women nover dared ray her soul was her own nevor! If she had had a different husband, she would undoubtedly have been alive to-day." "Very likoly, Mrs. May." "And yet, knowing all this, you are going to take her place." "Major Flint will t'nd mo a Tory dif ferent person from his thai wife," said Miss Atherton, composedly. "How ever, as I do not with to anticipate sor row, we will, if you t lease, dismiss the subject." This was not the firot remonstrance Miss Atherton had received on the sub ject of her approaching marriage, bnt she had made up her miud, it appeared, and was now occupied in making prep arations for the wedding. What had boon said respecting Major Flint and his first wife was unquestion ably true. He was a domestic, tyrant, and holding the female nnderstanding iu very slfght esteem, considered that the wife ought, in all respects, to bo subservient to tho husband's will. His reason for marrying again was principally from the fact that he found no housekeeper who would bo suffi ciently subservient to his whims and caprices. Having lost one after another, he came to the conclusion that he need ed a wife, and soon resolved to tender his hand to Grace Atherton, who had lie en a warm personal friend of his lost wifo. Wo will not analyze her motives for accepting his proposal, though probably a regatd for Mr. Flint's two helpless little children, who resembled their mother rnther than their father, influenced her as much as any other motive. However tint might be, the marriage socn took place, and after a brief journey Miss Atherton roturned as Mrs. Majir Flint, to take tho place of mm tress of tho household. " Heretofore, Major Flint had forborne to "show his hand." Now, however, that their married life had fairly begun, he thought it quite time to do so. "I have given Mrs. Burns a week's warning," he remarked at the breakfast table, the mornicg after their return. Mrs. Barns had been housekeoper and maid-ot-all work, the entire duties of the household devolving upon her. "And why have you Riven her a week's warning?" said the lady, com posedly. "Are you not satisfied with herr "It in not that, madam," said the major, deliberately. "Any difficulty about wages?" asked his wife, unconcernedly. "No," said her husband, feeling some what embarrassed.' The fact is, Mrs. Flint, there is not very much work to do in our small household, at least no more than ono pair of hands can easily do. My first wife always did her own work, and with ease, though she was not a very strong women." "Did she not die very young?'' said wife cumber two, sipping her coffee composedly. ."Why, jes," said the obtase Mr. Flint, little diioonoerted. You know the young die as well as the aged." So I have heard," returned his wife. Major Flint was great deal puzzled by the matter of fact manner f his new wife. Her cool st If-possession awed him in rpito of himself. If she bad stormed, be would have felt bettei prepared to meet the emergenoy. "I shall permit my children to re main where they are at my mother's until you get accustomed to the house a little. In tho course of the week," he added, "you will get an idea of the extent of tho work by observing Mrs. Burns." Rising from the table, he wbb about to leave tho room when hi-i footsteps wsro arrested by tho simple address : 'Major Flint I" " Well ?'' said ho. " It appears that you have been making arrangements without consult in me." Major Flint wax astonished. " You, madam 1 Why should I consult yon about my arrangements ?" ' Bticauso I may not approve of them." " Mrs. Flint," f aid tho major, " it is your duty to acquiesce in whatever plans I, os your husband, may see fit to form." ' Indoed, I never took that view of the matter," said Mrs. Flint. "Then the sooner you take it tho b3tter," was his reply. " Dj yon ripeot me to perform all the labor required in this establish ment?' " Exact y so, madam." " I believe you are considered a rich man, Major Flint?" " I am accounted eo, madam," he replied, complacently. " And you ore quite ablo to hire do mestic service, are you not?" " Yes, if it were needf nl." "Suppose I say that it is need ful?"" " I should tako the liberty to doubt it, madam," he replied. ' Very well, Mr. Flint ; since you force it upon mo, I may as well tall you first as last my decision upon this point. You offered me the position of wife, not that of maid-servant. On this understanding I accepted yon. Yet, if your circumstances ever become such as to require it, I shall not hesi tate a moment to conform myself to them. I only object to assuming a burden which, from your own account, appears to bo quite needless. I am very willing to superintend the house hold arrangements, as I consider that a duty which devolves upon me as your wife." " I have listened to your arguments, Mrs. Flint, and they are weak. They do not weigh with me, madam." " It is to be regretted." " The first Mrs. Flint better rnder-i-tood her duties as a wife," ho returned, excitedly ; but it is quite useless to dis cuss tho point with yon, madam. How ever, this day weok Mrs. Burns leaves us, and I expect you to assume her duties." Mrs. Flint bmiled. Major Flint frowned; then, taking his hat and cane, he excitedly went from the room. " There's nothing liko beginning right," he aid mentally, planting bis cane firmly down upon the pavement. " If Mrs. Flint married me with the idea of squandering my money in silks, furbelows and things, she'll find it difficult in my establishment. I don't intend to encourage female insubordin ation. I believe the husband was bom to govern tho wife to obey. If more husbands had my firmneis, my tact in govorning, things would be different at tho present day." Mrs. Flint, left at home, summoned the housekeeper. "I learn that my husband has given you a week's warning," she said. "Yes, ma'am." "Is it your wish to leave us?" "Oh, no, Mrs. Flint, for I don't know where I could find another place, and I have to pay my little girl's board! out of my wages." "I believe there ia considerable work to be done here ?" "Yes, Mrs. Flint, a great deal. Then Mr. Flint, is so peculiar he wants everthing just bo. Aud that's why I'm sorry to go just as you come ; I know you are easy to please." "How do you know that V "By your faoe it looks so good natured. Major Flint says, ma'am," she continued hesitatin gly, "that I am to show you some about the work. But if you try to do it alone, unused to hard work as you are, it will make you sick." "I think very likely it would, Mrs. Burns. But I have not the slightest idea of doing the work. At all events, you must not secure another situation until you hear from me again. I am very confident," she added, smiling, "that if Mr. Flint sends you away, Mrs. Burns, he will be glad to take you back." The week passed quickly. "Mrs. Burns leaves to-morrow," said the major, at the tea-table. ' Then you have decided upon it ?" "Yes ; I believe I announced the fact to you some days ago." "I thought it possible that my ob jections might have weighed with you and induced you to change yur mind." "I never change my m:nd," raid her husband, loftily. "Bnt I warn yon thr.t I have little experience as a cook." "Yon can learn." "Perhaps I may not cook to suit yonr taste," she persisted. "That is my affair." Had he been aware of the plot form ing in the lady's fertile brain, he might not have felt so confident iu regard to the quality of bin bread and butter ; and he retired for the night all uncon scious of the discipline to be meted out to him. Ho the following morning Mr.!. Burns received her wages and was seut off. At ten o'clock the marketing was brought home. At the usual dinner hour Major Flint made his appearance. The table was laid with more than its usual neat ness. Major Flint congratulated him self upon this fact as a personal triumph on his part. But he hardly felt so com placent when the dinner came up. The beef was terribly overdone; the vege tables, on the contrary, wore not half cooked. In short, there was notninar fit to eat on tho table. This Major Flint rather angrily remarked. "I dare say ; I am not a very good cook," said his wife. Witn his appetite only half-satisfied, he arose from the table. The following morning, breakfast was delayed more than half an hour ; and wnen it was ready, it was scarcely eatable. Major Flint was quite out of humor; but in reply to his remonstrances his wife said, "I woroed you that I might not ciok to suit your tiste." And so matters deteriorated rather than improved. The tea and coffee prepared by his wife were nauseating to him, while the bread was not only sour, but hard and clammy, requiring con siderable effort to masticate it. And what rendered it all the more (xasperat ing was that, no matter how inferior in quality or distasteful to himself, his wife professed her inability to discover any fault in what was proparod for the table, protesting that it just suited her taste. The following day Major Flint seated himsoif at the dinner table, his mind filled with various emotions. Ho wus growing thin, he felt sure; not a decent meal had ho eaten for three days. "This woman will be the death of me, as sure as fate I" he said to himself, gaz ing at the food placed before him. Here was the rich, juicy steak that he h'Qiselt selected and sent from the market, after all his instructions as to how it should be broiled, shockingly overdone in faot, almost burned to a crisp, his wife, meantime, partaking of it with gret apparent relish. ' 'What a taste that woman must have 1'' he raid to himself. "I have made you an extra cup of tea, to-day," said the lady opposite, hand ing him the cup with his dessert. Hitherto Mr. Flint had been very particular in regard to his cup of tea at dessert, insisting that it should be brought to the table both strong and hot. Had the tea been prepared to his taste, it would have soothed somewhat the riotous emotions withiu; on the con trary, it was miserably weak, quite luke warm and brackish. He took one bip at the tea, and then set the cut down foroibly on the table, his face expressing his disgust. Madam glanced up at him from under her long eyelashes, sipping from her cup industriously, that her facial muscles might not betray the amuse ment she felt "I knew you would think the tea ex cellent," she said. This was too much. His rage and disgust fairly boilod over. "Tea, madam, tea I" he roared. "You call such abominable staff tea, do you ? Excellent, is it 1 Exoullent I" "It is excellent," said madam, sweetly, taking him at his word and ignoring the exclamation points entirely, "Mamma taught me to make tea when " Major Flint had stood fire for three whole days, but flesh and blood could endure it no longer. Not waiting to hear more, he bounded to his feet and rushed into the hall. Here he seized his hat in both bands, jammed it down over his eyes, and started for the street. Then, as if forgetful of something, he retraced his steps, and, thrusting his head in at the open floor, he shouted, "Can you tell me where Mrs. Burns went when she left here?" "I think," said madam, deliberately, "if my memory serves me rightly, I heard her speak of stopping with her little girl at Mrs. Marsh's till ehe secur ed a situation." The major departed. "I thought the tea would finish him," aid Mrs. Flint, amusedly, watching from the window her husband's retreat ing figure, the click of his boot-heels Tinging like a bell as he brought his feet down vigorously on the pavement, the small boys eeing him askance and hastening out of his way, wondering if he was racing for a waor. It is, perhaps, needless to say that before evening close 1 Mrs. Burns was again installed at the Flint mansion. "It is useless," said the major, mourn fully, thai evotiiop, in the solitude of bis apartment; "I mihtas well attempt to move the huge boulders on yonder mountain top as to contend with that womuu, wife nnmhur two I ' And ho never did. For wheiiover his wife nppi'ulud t j him iu regard to the children or iho domes tio nrrangt tneute, he. would answer, i i the meekest man ner, "My dear, do o ynu think best." And Mrs, Flint owed her hucons to the fact that she never trenched upon her husbind's real prerogative but respected them as she claimed respeot for her owu. A'ld that i'i how she managed liim. 'I lie I'liyslenl Element. So great, a man as Combe, in his physiology, clainiB a large importance for the body as regards its influence upon the soul. At, present, a great in terest is felt in tho cultivation aud de velopment of nerve, mu-clo nnd brain in the direction of health, and also as tending to greater efficiency in bnsiness and eprchl culture. Nothing, therefore, iu the way of information upon these varied t -pics comes amiss, provided it in in the way of fact and experience Even theories, such ns result from long observation, aro extremely valuable as data to which one can affix whatever facts come henceforward uuiler his noticous illuutratiug, confirming or re futing them. Eminent among these are the wjll known principles of a raosterin physicol science, Mich as that no two animals or plants in nature aro identical in all respects; that the offspring tend to in herit the peculiarities of thoir parents, that of those which come into existence, only a small number reach maturity. Anthropology, or the science of human life, is bu-iy in condensing statistics to such a form as to be easily grasped by a learner. We are informed that race differences aro most clearly found in stature, proportions of limbs, conforma tion of the skull aud the brain within, character of features, tkin, eyes and hair, peculiarities of constitution, and mental and moial developments. So that tho vexed question of family and race origin is in a fair way of being put to a new test by recent statistics, which aro gathering in number and intensity with every set of now observations of men. As to the annual death rate, that in the United Kingdom is one in forty live. In the city of l'rovidonce, It I., it is ono ?'n fifty. Five feet and eight inches is the stature ef the typical man, nnd one-sixteenth less of woman, in any race. The average I'atagoniun is an inch less than six feet in height, the Bushman in South Africa just four feet and a half. It is said that a celebrated and hu morous physicinn serm nizos the means of reaching a great age as follows: Avoid excesses in everything; respect old habitc, even bad one; breathe a pure air; adnpt yonr food to your tem perament; shun medicines and doctors; keep a quiet couscienco, a ny he art and contented mind. Thero is much sense in these sugges tions, which are ufo to follow in the main, if we can believe the doctor to be as ingenious as he is quaint, fWaverly Magazine Lnileed in a Bath. A newly-married pair, who arrived on their honeymoon trip at a cele brated Scotch watering-place at a time when accommodation was at a pre mium, Lad a mattress spread for them by a compassionate innkeeper in one of bis baths. In the middle of the night the house was alarmed by loud shrieks proceeding from the nuptial chamber. What was the matter? Well, this. The young bride, wishing to ring for a maid, had caught hold of what she presumed to be the boll rope, and pulled it smartly. Unhappily for her and her spouse, it was the cord of the shower-bath over their heads, and forthwith down plumped suoh a deluge of cold water as would throw a damper upon the most devoted of honey mooning couples. Her husband, in dismay, caught frantically at another cord on his side of the extemporized couch, bnt the only response was an equally liberal deluge of water, this time nearly boiling hot. The unhappy pair then screamed in unison, and the bride, in the excitement of the mom ent, uttered sentiments anything but complimentary to her fond husband. When tho servants came, they were juet in time to rescue the unlucky pair from drowning, for the room was already half full of water, and the wife was perched like a monkey on her husband's back uttering the most lamentable cries, while her good man was fumbling about in thj dark, trying his best to find the door. FASHION NO IKS. Fompivlour lace is the latest. A velvet season ia predicted for the coming winter. Small birds will be much need in millinery next sen son. Electric blue, hussar-bluo and mnss greens are on the otrds for the fall. Tho favorite Pari-din contrast in summer toilets is lavender or deeper violet with ficelle luce of the purest Haxon gray. The newest trimming ri'jinns uro the ottoman reps of thick yet soft quality, in width varying from two inches to five or six. For railways and tteanilx. ats useful loose ulsters of India silk are exten sively used by ladies abroad. They slip on arid off easily, arc inexpensive aud very light. The most u-efnl traveling gloves are not tho Gants d Suede, which soil directly, but thick ordinary ki I of the natural ecru color, without buttons, but of six button longtb, brought outside the sleeve. Small falling ornaments of bluck or colored beads are much ncd for dress trimmings. They serve for such pur poses as to adorn tho inside of hvillow plaits and for tho centre of small rosettes. Redingotes ate in very general do mand. They are not very much like the former polonaise, bat as they aro of all kinds of fancy fabrics they havo a very different aspect. A great number wore seen at tho Parisian races. Kan Si was tho first lady who carried a fan. Sho lived in ages which are past and for the most part forgotten, and she was the daughter of a Chinese mandarin. Who ever saw a man darin, even on a Un chest, without his fan? The English shoo, laced over the instep, now often takes tho place of the summer boot. The Moliero shoe, with strap and button, is m re dro-sy, and looks well with the dainty stock ing, which now forms an important feature of the toilet. Abroad the bonnet most worn by married ladies is the Yankee, with shir rings of light surnh and a very thick wreath cf Bowers round th crowu. it is made of several sfzs, and either a semi-conical or rounded crcwu, while the border is more or leas wide. Sleeves, to be pretty, should be short and tight. The tailleur-shapcd waist worn with plain lingerie is the only stylo admitting a lather long sleeve. Tho arm size must be cut with great caro, as it should set well over tho shoulder, and not fall upon the upper part of the arm. Mercedes muslin is a new Que sheer wool fabric as thin as nuus' veiling, yet with figures like those of ficelle lace and Irish embroiderv. It comes in the natural flr.x-color of ficelle, and is made up over pale blue, dark blue or pii.k satin. The trimming is ficelle lace laid over pleatings of the satin Young girls frequently wear, to com plete a drossy toilet, tho bodice of which is plain, pretty rounded fichus, or large collar of mm lin or cambric, with two, three or four rows of white lace. These fichus are often made with two lapels, which are overlapped and fastened with one or two sprays of dowers. Hiineti lilies In Greece. P'. Schliemann is carrying on new excavations at Hissarlik, with the as sistance of two eminent German archi tects. No fewer thau ono hundred and fifty workmen are daily employed in laying bare the foundation of the an cient cities. Two perfectly distinct cities have lately been discovered in the burnt f-tratum, the lowtr one resting on the large walls which havo hitherto by mistake been attributed to the sec ond city. Hi snarl ik now turns out to have been the Acropolis of this lon-er burnt city, this being proved by the walls and the pottery, as well as by two vast brick buildings, ono of them forty three feet broad by one hundred feet long, the other twenty-three feet bread by less than one hundred feet long. These buildings seem to havo been temples, a separate gateway, flanked by enormous towers, leading up to them. There are, besides, three or four large buildings, apparently dwelling houses, but no smaller buildings. The city walls now stand out very imposing. They rest on a substructure of large blocks, thirty-three feet high, after wards kuperseded by groat brick walls. All the treasures formerly found by Dr. Schliemann are now ascribed to the first burnt city. Dr. Schliemann has found in the temples copper nails of a very peculiar shape, weighing from 1,000 to l.l'.H) grammes. The second burnt city, being the third city from the rock, and hitherto identified with the Homeric Troy, turns out to have had but vtry small houses and no lower town at all. Dr. Schliemann will con tinue bis excavations till the beginning of August. Iho did llii'l Fence. The placing of barbel wira fences nrouud fiir.'v.s, ni-nrping the place of the old rail fence, destroys half of the pleasure of farming. There is some thing hhont the old rail fence that is real comfortable, mid the barbed wire fence is forbidding, cold, repulsive. Until you coroo to think of it, there does not seem as t'-ough there was a great deal of solid cnufort in a rail fence, but there is. I) d you ever see two old farmers l nnitif; uvainst ii rail fence, whittling mi l talking politics or u horse trade foi ho'ir togo'.hn? They art more comfortable, and rest more thnu tin y would if they were occupying tie soften i-ofrt or the best stuffed arm chuir in the world. There are so many shapes a mini can get into to rest about a rail fence. First the faru er will fold his anus and rest them on the top rail aud lean his breast on the ftnea and talk fer half uu Ik tir, until his legs are tired, then he will step one fo-.t up cn thehecond rail from the bottom, and stand and whittle for half uu hour until the top of the ra'l is as polished as h piece (f mahogany. Then ho will change feet ai.d lean or.o elbow on the secoi'd rail from the top, and sharpen his knife on his boot and talk for half an hour a'lout how he is going to pay tho mortgage on hi fatra next year. After f iat prviu'on becomes irksome he will turn his buck to the fence staud on his heeN, ond place, his two elbows on tho top rail, and lean against the fence, aud for half nn hour he will tell about bow the old n.arj that he is trying to trude off cleaned out all the teams on the road coming back from tho celebra tion at town, after tho fireworks on the Fourth, aud how if ho wasn't fixed just as he is, uud wanted tho twenty dollars boot money to send Natl.au off to the select school, there is no man on earth can buy that mare. Then ho will get tired and stand around sideways, put his left arm up on the fence, and begin to whittle again, and swear tho man who runs tho (heese factory down ut the corner is skinning us farmers out of our eye teeth. Without foing into de tails as to ninety niiiu other combina tions by which a farmer cau re st on, abont or agaiust a mil fence, it may not bo out of place to speak of sitting on top oiafi u e. The fat mors, utte r trying several petitions, will instinctive ly e limb up the fei.ee and ret on tho top rail, their feet resting e n the third rail from the top, which is ulnars laid with projection enough to make good footing, and uu hour will puss as the fellows talk of the times when they set tled iu tbo eeniritry. and of tho hard ships they have endured, und liow the children have grown up and gone away, ami the conversation will dii!t into it slee py channel, and tho sun will begin to sink iu tho west, aud the horny handed sons of toil will sudde-nly re member that the chores are to be done, aud with a 'goodnight, Lige," and "Drop around ugin tomorrow, Ike," they will separate', und ono will tako a milk-pail and a ouo l gged stool and go towards the lot where the cows have come home, while the other will Re-, across the road to his barn nud throw dowu some hay for the horses, and they will both go to bed at eight ei'elock as tired as though they bad been mowing. But they had a splendid easy visit on the tld ta'l foiteii. ( ati liiiii,' n Crah. They tollu story of a would-be funny Han Franbiseo broker, who last, season adopted a most fiendish method of Ret ting even with one of ihe chronic flirts who are said to ruukn tho piazzas lively. He obtained hulfad'Z'U energetic crabs from the fishing beach, and, watching for an opportunity when no one was in a particular tauk exoe'pt the inceinsistcnt fair object of his venge ance, he elropped in the crustaceans (way up term for crabs). The young lady continued her natatorial exerciser H few mitiutrs longer, when she sudden ly uttered a blood-curdling i-brick, and was helped np the Udder with a cia! hanging en her pink little toe. She had sevi'tul count rut ive epileptic tits while the marine corn etoe'or was being removed. The Mopiiistophelian glee of the broker, however, gave hira away, and, f'.T fe ar ef some countertrick, he decided to bathe early in tho morning tbereafler. A few days after that the bath-house keeper was startled by some terrific yells, and, hastily entering tho tank-house, he behold the broker rlonn tiering out with a big, jagged-tooth, spring rat-trap clenched on his heel. "Who put this horrible thing in the water?" roareel the broker. "I did, tir" ewee'tly replied the crab bed young lady afore-mentioned, step ping out of a bath room. ' I put it there to catch those horrid crabs, yon know." Tho broker went homo on a crutch. A little chil l in Troy was poisoned by touching its lips to the color?el covers of a book with which it was amusing it self. Tho coloring matter contained arsenic, and curious enough the book was a copy of tho report of the Society for the Prevent ion of Cruel ty to Children . To a Deail Humble Iter. Ii liumhlo hoe that all day Iodr Hast hummed thy note the dells among, Whence came the pang that laid thee Ion, Just as the summer 'gun to glow? No more on hiiinuiini; uniiua homo Shalt thou thv course pursue To whom the roses blush at morn, Iletieniineil with crystal elow. Fur Hire nn more the verdant field .Shall spread its veil of tinn ers. And to thy prohei sweet hum y yield Iu Hummer's i-iinuy hums. 'J'li'iii minded me of Inippv days In scih uf vernal hlnnni, When I have reamed in rural ways, And heaid the wild heea hum. Anions the wild fl.iwers that adorn The dirndl' and tho lira", Hum'st winded oft thy drowsy horn t"! on the devious way. A won Irons insect Kiinh d thee In inanv a Icmttliv flight To sweet-briar banli and llowery treo I'miii morn till dewy night. Wln-ii fate dissolve s the Blonder tie That binds I he world to me, Then at my daily task I'd die, Like tin e, sweet liumhlo bee. l.'eii noxious lieibs evin sweetness yield, As well as tlow wo prize j So, 'mid the ills of lite conei aled, Are bles-ings in disguise. VAKIKIIES. An ink well has been discovered in Georgia. It should be a popular resort for writers. Married for Life" is the title of a uove l by a Chicago author, which is an entirely new idea in Illinois. When might a railroad engine ard a detective be said to resemble eachothe-i? When they both are on the track. When a selfish man marries n woman who weighs fifty pounds n ore than he does, he gets the biggest half, us usual. S'.oves are&npposeel to be a somewhat modern invention, but the Egyptians were warmed by Alexander the grate B. C. 300. What is it to bo a man? Well, it is a good deal like work to be a mat), and that is the chief reason why men, real men, ure so few. Next wo shall have a coat-tail flirta tion code. Having tho tails covered with mud will menu "I don't like her father." An Iowa paper says that if beer is not intoxicating the re is no use drinking it. One might as well waste time drinking water. "l)jes mooulighl soothe?" asks tho New York Herald. If she doesn't pare goric will, and ten cents buys a heap of it this year. A Nebraska paper says that every mau out that way who isn't called "Judges'' can be adelro-sed les ' Frofes 8'r" and ueit hint his feelings a bit. Lucy Hooper says tint a Freuchm. n delights to pound a horfe, caress a dog, uud be polito to female On the whole she prefers Americans. The Bottou Post wants some genius to inveut a ccut-tail flirtation. Just watch a tramp getting away from a dog tend you'll see something very like one. The Rev. Jasper, of Virginia, says that education in the ca-o of colored poopk means tiaviltry. He can't seo how education helps tho whitewashing business auy. A surgeon in Londou offers to teach any woman to blush beautifully and naturally iu three lessons. We need me thousand such teachers in this country right away. An Ohio farmer who has barbed wire fences all through his farm says that he kets one-fourth uior work out of his hired man than ho used t.i when ho furnished a top ruil to sit on. A negro congregation at Austin, Texas, thought their pastor had their ctilor in minel when ho frequently spoko of "the powers of darkness," anil re quested him to stop such talk or resign. "There Ain't Any .Money Info It.'' The World's Journal says: A liltle boy, on his way to build fires anel sweep offices in Boston, whilo the stars were yet in the skiei, tolel tho writer : " My mother gets mo up, builds the fire, and gets my breakfast and sends mo off. Then she gets my father up, and gets his breakfast and senels him off. Then she gives the other children thoir breakfast, and sends them to school, and then she and the baby have their breakfast." " How old is tho baby ?" I asked. ' Oh, she is 'most two, but she can talk and walk as well as any of us." " Are you well paid ?' "I get two dollars a week, and my father gets two dollars a day." " now much does your mother get?" With a bewilJered look, he said : " Mother ? Why, she don't work for anybody." " I thought you said she worked for all of you ?" " Oh, yes for ns she does; but there ain't any money into it." This wifo of a day laborer repre sents a large j ortion of hard working women.