1! (!ll:iHi:n ffoijd. H. A. LONDON, Jr , or AUVERTISINO. 1 Onefqiiare.one?nf.'-iii'--n, - fl.f Ouesquai, two Ium-iiimiis I.V) j Jnesqiiarr.en.-ni-iiili, Z.K FKIloli AM I'Ki'l-niFTdH TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: finer ij , nneyear. - . Onvropy ,.li inniii On copy, three inontb. VOL. V. PITTSB01iO CHATHAM CO., N. C, OCTOBER 12, 1882. NO. 5. For larger a-lverimrintMitsUlieial -tmt ';: will 1mA q o o Fiflj-Two. Bright ia the morn, but I am blue, Alas! thin day I am fifty-two. What can a creature k.iv or do That's Joyful, at grim fifty-two ? I'm cnraed with cum, despite a shoo A old and worn as fifty-two. Rheumatic arrow pierce mo through, My back's a butt, at Bfiy-two. Wheie mice my iiniliinned grind) r gi w, What diirjl gaps at fitty-two! Htern warnings -ah, bnw ofi: ivte'-v Mv dread of g"ut at fifty. two. Though all Muses I should file, They'd stint tlioir tiro at fiftj-lwo. I)auly and Ornee may tempt my vim ; They tempt in vain I'm tirty-t v . Nature! Alack! 'lis " iivum' lin Ccw "' One prizes most at fifty-two. Ideals! pshaw! I mai vi I who Poles on the moon at li'tj -io Taste! Art! One tries with rac.er 70 w rat' liefoif a: filtj-lwo ; Or even a ptqunit Iriili stow (Just dashed with wuu-i, at liltvlno, I'a-s on, O world ; your false ado Moves not the phlegm ol fifiy-lwo. Your sweets, soon changed to holer me. Deceive no more at fif;-two. Cnme, friend, a mod si gam" of "loo ," Mild stakes, mild port, at filty-tno. Diversions not too flushed of hue, Just suit the nerve ol fifty-two. GRANtMA'S PARTY. Grandma LhcI a party the other day I It van the funniest thing I ever heard of in all my life, which hasn't been v-ry long yet, Bering I'm just a Blip of a girl, only turned Id, nnd Bob Andrews says Dob rays oh, pshaw! I'm not telling about htm, lmt about Gnriduiu'a party. You sec, eho was 82 years old that day. Eighty two merry me ! I wonder what I'll look like when I'm c2 ? My hair ia black as night and hers is whiter than anything I ever saw, (or there ia a nil very glos about it that 1 cannot de scribe, at.il hIic is so old and small and yet fvery one savs she hits a lovely face; it is just as if all sorrow, and regret, and disappointment, and caro had been taken out of it. It mukes rm cry some times, it it so sad ; but then Bob An drews Buy h I ery a', any thing I As if ho knew. And il'ii queer, isu't it? bnt Grand ma's cheeks are red sometimes, or at least they ure pink, and it always re minds me of tho sunset shiunit.g on new snow, and when she looks out of tho window a long time her eyes grow large and louk utmost young. 1 wa& telling tbat silly Bob Andrews about them, and be taid if I would look close into them I would see an angel. I did, and all I enw wus my own face, and I k if sert Grandma and told her something I had read one day that made mu think of her ; . . "fler ryes am homes of nilent priyer." For sometime I think Grandma prays much of tho time. What else can uneb old people do? Bat itbont her party ; there were eight old ladies initol to it, and they were all as old as Ornndmn, or very nearly bo, and they trembled when they walked, and they stocped and had wrinkles and were dressed oh, dear, if yon oould have seen them I Little old-fashioned black silk gowns, with skimpy skirts and white neckerchiefs, aud work bags and strings of gold beads, and watch chains made of hair, and they wore brooches with miniatures of such fnuny looking young men in them, and they talked in such pathetic whet zy voices, as they shook bands with Giandma, r.nd wished her "many happy returns e,f tho season, dear." You seo they didn't any of them seem'to think they were old. Oi very old lady said, "It's bo strange that I should have Die rheumatism ; none of my family ever had it. What would yon advise me to do, Mrs. Lindsey 7" she asked of one of the company. "I'm Bare I cculdn't tell," said the other old lady. "I never bad a touch of rheumatics in my life. Can't be you're getting old?" "Oldf Ma old? Why, I haven't een 75 yet 1 No, it's a cold I've taken. I'll just take care of myself through the winter, and come out like a lark in the spring." "I bad snob, a fall the other day," chirruped a frisky little old maid, with dark, false curls and a bit of rongo on on ber cheeks. Bhe was nearly 80, but ss straight as I am, and Bob Andrews ays I Iran back I'm so straight. "I WU ooming through onr hall, tripping along in a hurry, and I fell over the door-mat and down the steps. It gave me quite shaking tip." "Yon chonld look where yon are going next time," said one of the old ladie. Ob," said the aged spinster bridling, 'that's wbat the dector said, bnt girla will be girls, yon know I" Mrs. Lindsey is a cranky old Scoleh woman, and she- put in her word just then : "Fools will be fools," she said with a sniff of disapproval, "and there's no foels like eld fools, as I told Sam Mo- uuuogu wnen ne asked me to marry 1m 1m ;r deaf and blind and not tooth in his heal he'd V been a gift for anybody to t'ike up with I" I oould't see where Mrs. Lindsey dif fered from her own description and I was thinking it over, when the little old maid spoke np : ' Girls," she said in ber affected fal setto voice, "do yon remember Bruoe Conway ? ' Then there was a chorus of "poor Bruce I ' "It only seems yesterday I saw him I" ".Such a handsome young fellow," etc "I've herd,"said Mrs. Lindey,"that he was engaged to Sophie Lumb when be died." "Indeed be wasn't," spoke np a very old woman who sat on the sofa knitting stockings for ber great-grandson "ho was never engaged to Sophy." They didn't notice a blush on the wrinkled old cheek, bnt I did let me alone for seeing all snob things, as Bob Andrews says and then the old hands dropped into her lap, and sho ceased to kbit. 'Brno'i ha been dead fifty-five years, sum grandma, musingly. "It 1'iesn't seem a day. I used to go np meeting-house bill to put Southern wood and lilacs on his grave poor Bruco I" Then I saw a tear en thecheek of tho knitter,, and I went and asked her about her work who was the little stocking for ? "It's for my granddaughter's little boy," she said ; then turning to me trembling and eager, "There wasn't a word of truth in wbat they t.ild, my deur ; Bruce Conwny was engaged to me when be died. lie gave me this ring" twisting a bent and warped gold wire on ber thin, veined linger. "I've worn it all my life, and, pleaso Gcd, it will be buried with me when I die I You're the only ouo I ever told, my dear I" I think when they wont ont and saw tho supper table with its lights and the grand birthday cako with eigty-two tapers bnrning, they became more cheerful, for they laughed nud told stories and recalled old times, the parties they used to have and the cakes they made, and they said no one knew how to make such good cukes now, and I'm glad they don't, for I shouldn't like caraway seeds in my tea-cukes, and pound cako as heavy as lead would kill me I When ten was over, tho little spinster sat down at the piano and played. Oh I 1 wish yon could have seen her. She bobbed np and down and sideways, aud pounded at the keys ; bnt, worse still, she sang a sentimental song in ber little cracked voice. Even Grandma had to smile. Butthon she sang the"Land of the Leal I" Grandma bad been a groat singer in her day, and although the power and music bad gone out of her voico, it had a soft, rod swoetnosi that would huvo made mo cry if that Bob Andrews would have given mo my own hand. Ah it was I just kept tho tears back as the dear old houI santr it : "I'm wearin' awa, Jean, I. ike nnaw-nreaths in thaw, Jean, I'm wi arm' awa, To the laud of tho leal. " There's uae sorrow there. Jean, There'll neither catild nor caro, Jean, The day is ane fair Pi the land of the leal. "Our bonnie bairn's there, Joan--" Then they all broke down, and and and that ended Grandma's party. They said they had a lovely time, but I never sw anything so sad in my life, and when they were all gone I cried two, and said : "Oh, I never, nevor, never want to be old I ' "And you never shall be," said Bob Andrews silly fellow 1 "I should like to know how yon ran prevent it?" I asked, scornfully as I oould. 'By taking such good care of you, darling, that you" Bnt, pshaw, you don't want to hear what he said. Toilets of I'ircns People. If circuses would but permit the pab lio entrance behind the fceues, they wonld doable their half dollars. It is a onrions sight. The actors curiae from the ring, heated and tired with their last performance; the lady bareback rider, seated on a chest, in a loose wrapper; the clown's now sober face a mixture of red and white powder and perspiration; the aotors who go on next, all putting on the last touches of their toilet. Circus actors take more pains with their toilets than most people imagine. We watched one tall young man in tights as he dressed his hair before going out in the tumbling act. He oiled it and patted it down, he sliced it back on the aides and carved it down in the middle, and he waxe his mustache into a most beautiful curt. It took him no less than ten minutes, and he stood, meanwhile, before an old, battered piece of looking-glass, support ed on a slick, in the center of the dress ing tent. New Haven people put up abont $20,000 on the racer Clingstone and were beautifnlly scooped. One man who couldn't give bnt $2 to help build church lost 1700 on the race. FISH KM OTt. Striped plnsh is blocked iuto shape as a lining for the wi 'e brims of felt hats. Diagonal rows of narrow bias ru flics are the new trimming for the foot of ilk skirts. Hicillienno anl Irinh poplin are com ing into fashion along with other rip ped goods. Leather lace, with leaves of lenlher on twine Quelle laeo, is a noTcl'y for trimming bonnets. Train dresses that have been but little used daring the summer have reappear ed at Nowport and Saratoga receptions. Brocades will be limited to velvets for the approaching season; plain goods will be preferred in silk aud woolen ft litis. Turkish and India embroideries of soft, dull, yet rich coloring, will tiim the self-colored cashmere and cloth dresses worn la'er in the season. New woo) goods have ball figures three inches wide, of a shudo so nearly like that of the fctuff that the whole fabric appears to bo plain at tho lust glauce. Tho Ion? gaczi veils formerly used here, but now out of n'ylo, are woru in Europe and cal'eil American veils. Meanwhile the English mask veil of red tulle is adopted here. The pelisse to be worn next winter is precisely like tho long plain redingotes worn two years aijo. It iJ ma le of cloth, and trimmed with braid down the front and back, bnt not around the skirt. New bonnets and lias for the season belweeu summer and winter have the brim of summer straw with a wintry velvet crown. Styles for the demi season are otherwise well defined. The stylish wraps for the lir.'-t cool days will be braided cloth juckots for plain toilets, and iicelle colored cloth mantlos, trimmed with lace and pom pons of the same hhade for dressy toilets. A great deal of dull red is seen on the newly imported costumes, an 1 a touch of red is in almost all toilets, though it may be only a copper-red silk neckor chief, a flamingo's breu-jt on the turban or terra-cotta gloves. Tho only beaded trimmings among new goods are "solid" passementeries that show nothing but bends, but there are many sizes and shapes, such us bugles, flat nail-heads, largo bulls, nud the smallest beads like seed pearls. India cashmere shawls of great value, and many of which arc heirlooms, are most ruthlessly cut by dressmakers to make short "visiles." It is said that an nlster has lately been made of a shawl that cost $50C. Milliners select the best feathers of eight birds to make a single turbun. Blu jys, black birds, magpies, crows, partridges, hawks, wild ducks, pigeons, swallows, and many other familiarly known birds are stripped of their feathers to minister to the new craze. White with gold, white with silver, lilac and pansy shades, are the colors for dinner and evening dresses worn at Newport. White, pure and simple, is losing favor because it has been so generally worn during the summer, and it is now usually accompanied by red and yellow. The European custom of carrying in fants on lace-trimmed pillows is adopted by American mothers; and the nurse wears an Alsace cap with a how of rib bon a fourth of a yard wide, with ends tbat hang behind nearly to her feet. The nurse's dress is of the color used for lining the lace of the baby's pillow. The new braid embroidery differs from thot so familiar to ovory lady by having the narrow braid set up on one edgo in what is called "knife blade" fashion, to make the figures appear in relief on the fabric. Amazon cloth is the most suitable material for braiding; caihmere is not firm enough, and this work upon it has a drawn look that is not admired. Ten Thousand Acres of Oysters. The joy caused in gatronomin and epicurean circles by Mr. Olson's papr on the "The North Sea Fisheries" aud the great oyster disooverlos there will be shared by the whole oyster-eating world. Two hundred miles of oyster lieds, thirty to seventy miles wide, that is to say, 10,000 acres of splendid oysters within easy distance of the British coast, ia a discovery to whioh all those of Stanley and Livingston sink into insig nificance. One curious feature about it is tbat the oeters lie at a depth of twenty-one fathoms, thus disposing summarily of the prevalent idea tbat oysters can only be raised snccessfnlly in shallow water. The man who invents new dish, according to some, the man who plants a tree, according to the Mohammedans, deserves well of man kind; but what is tho reward of a man who discovers 10,000 acres of oysters ? And vet all this is tinped with the melancholy doubt whether oysters will be cheaper in consequence. Pall Mall Gazette. Destruction of Mexican antiquities Mexico is much excited over the fact that several ardtrolngical societies of the United States are endeavoring to remove some of the antiquities of that country to Northern museums. Great cordiality has been shown to Mr. De sire Cbarnay and to other scientists so long as they wero simply explorers of the magnificent mi. is of Chiapas and Yucatan, but ttje moment they assume tho character of collectors tho entire press cf tho country is filled with ex pressions of iudignution that so many precious monuments of the ancient civ ilization of Mexico should be carried awy to foreign lunds. A law exists forbidding the exportation of antiqui ties, but for some unknown reason the Government has allowed Mr. Cbarnay and others to remove many valuable specimens to Fiance and to the United States, an action the Mexican people oannot understand, and over which they wahtu a vast number of words, their irritation being constantly augmented by tho apathy of their own Government in collecting or even preserving inter esting relics of tho original inhabitants of the soil. Tho country is teeming with these relies to such an extent that whenever any t xcavutions are made for railroads, oi even for new buildings, rare objects of clay and stone sre thrown up with every shovelful of earth, yet no efforts are made to collect them, and they are It-ft to ho broken in pieces by ignorant workmen. In levelling re rcoently for a railway in Yucatan a largo number of slabs covered with hiero glyphics were uuonrthed, but whon a scientist of Merida accidentally beard of the discovery, he found them broken in a thousand fragments. The magnifl cent ruins of Pa!enqu.e are being in jnrod to a large extent by a company of spec ulators who ate clearing the land of trees and underbrush for agricultural purposes, They evidently have do re spect for Mua aud To 1 tec art, and will no doubt convert the ancient palace into a corn barn, unless a veto is put upon their proceedings. It is said they have already mutilated many important sta tutes. It is no wonder the people call on the Government to appoint a com mission to protect these arcbnlogical treasures. It is not surprising; that a desire should exist among the cultivated classes in Mexico that these remains should be preserved in a grand national museum in the country whose early history they represent. Probably enough lies buried in the city of Moxioo alono to fill a gcod-sized building. The exact locality of many important monuments is known, and yet the Government takes no pains to recover thorn and place them where they could be of service to arch.'ologicul students The present national collection contains many ob jects of interest, but it is so meagre tbat a few small rooms contain it, and if the present stato of apathy continues, there is litt'o hope of its lnorearv. In view of these facts it is a good thing that arohnMogical societies in Europo and America are making efforts to obtain collections of Mexican an tiqnities, and casts and accurate de scriptions of tablets iind carvings whioh oannot bo brought tway. Otherwise much matoriul of great arcbielofcijal vuluo would remain concealed from the world, or, what is still worse, be de stroyed by ignorant bunds. Fnierson's Words. Tho publisher of the Literary News recently offored prizes for the six most striking and characteristic sentences from Emerson's writings, those four persons whose sentences were the most frequently quoted by all tho competitors to have a prize. There were forty-nine competitors. The highest number of votes given to the Fame sentence was tweuty-fonr. Tho following seven sen fences received from twenty-four to eleven votes each in their order : 1. "Character Is higher than intellect. A great soul will be strong to live as well as to think." f The Ameri can Scholar. '20. ''His heart was as great as the world, but there was no room in it to hold tho memory of a wrong." On Lincoln. 43. "The fountain of bf anty is the heart, and every generous thought illustrates the walls of your chamber." Society and Solitude. 48. "The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it" Essay on Domestic Life. 10. "Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm," Essay on Circles. 7. "There is no beantifier of com plexion, or form, or behavior, like the wish to scatter joy and not pain around us." Essay on Behavior. C4 "The finest and noblest ground on which people cun live is truth ; the real with the real ; a ground on whioh nothing is assumed." Essay on the Superlative. Cashmere and cloth with Saxony em broidery, soutache braiding, or plain stitching, will make up the bulk of new antnmu costumes. THE VIRTUKS OF COFFEE. la Kxkllnrnllnt Effect upon the SiM.manil Renrais la Medicinal War- It is getting to be the fashion now for people to say tbat coffee is injurious to health and many persons are giving it np regretfully. Perhaps coffee is very injurious in some cas s, bv of all beverages it is oontended that it is the least injurious. CoiTu di inkers are generally cheerful, strong aud perse vering. Tho eminent Dr. Bock, of Leipsic, says : "Tho nervousness and peevishness at times are chiefly attribu table to tea aud coffee." ne says that the digestive organs of confirmed coffee-drinkers are in a stato of chronic derangement, which reacts on the bruin, producing fretful and lachrymose moods." "I cannot agree," says Dr. Henry Segur, of Paris, "that the ner- onsness aud peevishness of th present time are to be attributed to the use of coffee. If peoplo are more nervous or in worse bnmor now thon formerly, we may find other causes arising from the customs and habits of society much more likely to produce such a state of things than tho use of this particular article of diet." Lot us examine the effects of coffee on the economy. Taken in moderation it is a mental and bodily stimulant of a most agreeable nature and, followed by no harmful actiarj, it produces content ment of mind, auays hunger and bodily weakness, increases the incentive and capacity for work, makes man forget his misfortunes and enables those who use it to remain a long time without food or sleep, to endure unusual fatigue and preserve their cheerfulness and con tentment. Jomand says : An infusion made with ten ounces of coffee enables Ijne to iivo witnout otner food for live consecutive nays wuuoui lessening my ordinary occupations and to use more and more piolonged muscular exorcise than I was accustomed to without any other physical injury than a slight de gree of fatigue and a littlo lo ss of flesh." The mental exhilatution, physical activity and wakefulness it causes ex plains the fondness for it which has been shown by so many men of science, poets, Feholurs and others devoted to thinking. It has, indeed, been called the intellectual beverue.o. I ' supported the old ago of Voltaire and enabled Fonteuelle to pas his hundred yearn. The action of coffee is directed chief ly to the nervous system. It produces a warming, cordial impression on tho stomach, quickly followed by a diffused, agreeable, and nervous excitenunt, which extends itself to the cerebral fanotions, giving rise to increased vigor of imagination and intellect, without any subsequent confnsion or stupor, such as are chaiactoristio of narcotics. Coffee contains essential principles of nutrition far exceediug in importance its exhilarating properties, and is one of the most deBirublo articles for sus taining the system in certain prostrat ing diseases. As compared with the nutrition to bo derived from the best of sonpB, coflVe has decidedly tho ad vantage, and is to be preferred in many instances. The medicinal effects of coffee are very great. In . intermittent it has been used by emineqt physicians, with the happiest effect, iu cutting short tho attaok, and if properly man aged is better in many cases than the sulphate of quinine. In that low state of intermittent, as found on the bunks of the Mississippi river and other mala rial districts, accompanied with en larged spleen and torpid liver, when judiciously administered it is one of the surest remedies. In yellow fever it has been used by physicians, and with some it is their main reliance after other ne cessary remedies have been adminis tered ; it retains tissue change, and thus becomes a conservator of force ia that state in which the nervous system tends to collapse, because tho blood has be come impure ; it sustains tho nervous power until the depuration and reor ganization ( f the blood are accom plished, and has the advantage over other stimulants in inducing no inju rious secondary effects. In spasmodic asthma its utility is well established, as in whooping cough, stupor, lethargv, and such troubles. In hysterical at tacks, for which in many cases a physi cian can form no diagnosis, coffee is a great help. Coffee is opposed to malaria to all noxious vapors. As a disinfectant it has wonderful powers. As an instantaneous deodorizer it has no equal for the sick room, as all exhalations are immediate ly neutralized by simply passing a chafing-dish with burning coffee grains through the room. It may be urged tbat an article possessing such powers and capacity for such energetic action must be injurious as an aitic'.e of diet of habitual employment, and not with out deleterious properties ; but no cor responding nervous disarrangaments have been observed after its effects have disappeared, as are seen in narcotics and other stimulants. The action im parted to the nerves is natural and healthy. Habitual coffee drinkers gen erally enjoy good htiilth. Some of the oldest people have used coffee from earliest infancy without feeling any de pressing reaction, such as is prcdneed by alcoholic stimulants. De Coiitcej's Deatli-Iieap. "Has ho seen her foot?" Reginald De Courcey, eighth of Wabash, smote his corselet fiercely with the trusty blade that bad cloven in twain the skull of many an eneiny and looked tenderly upon his wife, the Lady Agatha McMnrty, as they frtond 'neath the shadow of a glovo which tho wife had carclcs-ly left on the lawn. By the D tike's hide was his faithful steed Step and Fetch-It, in whose veins flowed the blood of the swift courseis of tho desert, the Arabian. ' "I know mo not," quoth the Lady Agatha, "whether that of which yon speak hath indeed taken place, but on hir rctnrn from the tonrney at Coshoc ton, whither young Rupert do Moya- mensing bath taken our daughter, I will not fail to closely question the maid regarding this matter. Truly, it is of much moment whether this young knight, who cometh from beyond the Littlx Miami, doth wed onr daughter." "I prithee do at speak of that," said Lord Reginald hastily "and yet thought light. An Rupirt make not the lass his bride metliiuks it will be many a day ere another one so guileless heavetb iu sight. What's o'clock? ' "Three forty live," replied the Duch ess, looking at the sLudows which the sun cast upon the woodshed. "There i yet time to warn hoi-," said Reginald, "but with another bene than thou, my pet," ho added, stroking the glossy neck of tho Arabian courser, "tho task were indeed a hopeless one." "Then haste thee!'' cried tho Lady Agatha. ' Lise not a moment of time that is so precious. Fly with ull speed, and I will offer up piayers that thy journey may be swift aud sure." Leaping upon his horse tho Duke sped swiftly from out the court yard,, the clatter of hoofs making glad music in the i ars of his devoted wife. Sud denly sho beard the horde givo a mighty snort and stop, uud anon there came upon tho summer breezo that was kiss ing the locust blosscms above her head the sound of a dull tuud. Running with feur hustened feet across the port cullis the Uiiclioss saw tho affrighted tttiimnl standiug iu front of some huge object, while further on lay the corpse of her husband, the cold, white face looking np to heaven as if iu a mute uppeul for pity. In un instant she was by his side, but the kisses that she pressed npou tho pallid lips of the mau she loved so well wero tinfelt aud the words she spoke brought no response Then, going to tho horse, she took him kindly by the bridle. "I do not blame you, Step aud-Fetch-It," sho said, "for thero are some things which evun an Arab steod may not lt-ap ovor, aud it was very careless of my daughter to leave her overshoe in such a plaeo. Virginia Women. The fair Virginians, though fond of admirutiou as all true women are have always been true to their loves. A thousand cases illustrate this, in the pust and in the present. Tho greatobt coquette, the most brilliant belle, the most consummate dir., when united to tho man of her choice, becomes a peer less Virginia dame, fit wife and mother of heroes, statesmen and president?. The annuls of tho Old Dominion are full cf such women. In the rooms of tho Virginia Historical Society, at Rich mond, are several pictures of Pocahon tus. They are not claimed to be au thentic likenesses of the "fawn of tbe forest," aud they do not recall the tra ditional beauty of the gentle Indian jirl: 'Our own dear I'oi'uhoiita. The ViremiiR gu.-en of Hie Went, Woli the heart of a Christian hero In a timid maiden's hrea-t;" who, marirying Master John R ilfe, be came the hii'h born mother of a high Isarn rue whose princely Indian blood, after coursing through a dozen genera tions, is Btill quite visible in some of the best Indies of Virginia. The Virginia Rirl was carefully pro. tec'od from all rudoness; her native modesty wus rover shocked by anything coarse; her grfitlc dignity was never in filed by contact with the rough and unrefined in that thedivinitr that doth hedge a king was hers nonce, that exquisite delicacy, which is the greatest charm of woman, has always been a dis tinguishing characteristic of the fair Virginian, past and present. Darin k', indeed, tho man who attempted any familiarity with t aristocratic cordial, but dignified ladies of the Old Dominion. Their manners, however, have not that cold, deadly repose 1 W'hioh stamps the easte of Vers do Ve Bulwcr said he never met a real woman never met a woman who wuh not a sham, a sham from the moment she is told to behave prettily, conceal her sentimeLts, and look fibs, if she does not speak them. IT nd the dandy novelist foil wed the examplo of his grea(est contemporary, Thackeray, and visited irgrjiu, he might have met among tho descendants of old Virginia society more than one real woman. There are in Richmond to-day, real true, penuino women women whose loveli ness merits the praise of De (jnincey, that ' life owes half its attractions and all its graces to female companionship. A Sinilli't' ('use. .1 I hear you h.i w (,-mii- :ml done it. V- b, I l.non ; in iM I- i.oiri will ; V'-nl and Ire d n 1 nil-' II. 8 i, J hollll JOU M ' I'm Mll'li' hMI. And yell lie I lo-r d:d jihi t II li e l mil ill l!i ikIiIoii la-1 .liilt, And ri N' hi , to ii-U the .iii:i ti u At a null e y s . did I, I -lippor-e jmi lift !le- lull Mo III With itH 1 1 1 u -1. mill it IikIi: I'or they hiiv lovo's tlaire is lu K'htis' III the ilm kiii-ps ol the iiulil. W.-ll, you niilke 1 al uin t ther. Overhead, the hI:ii lit sky; And I 11 hel old man, eonf h tt y.iu were friKhteiie I. su ivus I. So you s'rolli-d along ih tei-raw, K;i- the Hiinimi r m lotihlt pom. All it riidiinn-e mi the w.iteis As they rippled "II III" shove; Till ill leiieth you KMtln red e-mrne". When JOU saw that none were luli Pid you di-.iw l.er el a and tell her That yen loved her? Sn did 1. Well, I needn't ll-li you further, And I'm sure I inh you joy; Think I'll wander down and eoo jou When joii'rn mariu-d - eh, my boy ? When the lioueynio hi i ov r, And you're settled down, we'll try What ? The deuee you t-ay ! It. jeel.ed,? Y"U I i-i"i d '' So ih I ! VAllIEIIrlS. It is only in New Jersey that, the papers speak of u "widow woman." All other States grant the ee-x without dispute. Chicago doubts whether her chief of policn learned anything of nuy ucoount iu his three mouths' trip abroad. He probably knew all that was vroriu know ing before be went. Quite a number of stiiumer hotels have been burned recently, and in sev eral instances the gin sts have escaped in nothing but their night clothos. As the season is about ovor it is probable that the guests set 'em afire, knowing that if they didn't tho landlords would hardly lot them get away with even a puir of stockings. The most fashionable thing in society now is a baby, and a yonng mother with u pretty iufunt is the envy of all her sex. N. B. Both mother and baby must be richly dressed, otherwise the couple are ouly a woman und a brut. A colored porter iu un Austin store asked the proprietor for a day's leave of absence. " Whut'n up now 1 ' "Dur'n a niirgith gwiuo ter git married, and I oughtor bo present ter Bee him fru." "Who is this colored man at whose wedding you have to bo present?'' "I'so de niggah, boss." "Mamma," asked littlo Gortie, "be the Smiths real p-or V" "Why, I don't know, dear," replied her mother ; "but why do you ask ? ' '''Cause, mamma, Mamie Smith's dolly has only got two dresses, and I know she must feel aw fully mortified when she takes her out into company." Foreigners' ignornuco e.f Amorieau geography has boon often criticised, bnt the Chicago Tribune fulls iuto an un pardonable blunder when it uutionuccs that a telephone lino is to bo laid be -twocu Paris und Versailles underground, and that "it is to be carried along the main roads nnd the right bunk of the Rhone." A man living in Schuyler comity, N. Y., without auy apparent cause, is said to have passed through all the physi cal changes in the short period of 18 years. At tho age of 0 be hud all tho development of strength nnd muscle in a lad of 15. At 12 his board was grown and gray hairs appeared. Now, at IS, he is as decrepit us an old man of 8(1, and seems tottering on the verge of the grave. The most candid young man iu Aus tin is Nicodemus Murphy, ne culled at the cilice of a wealthy citizou un 1 Called right out and said ; "I wan't to marry your daughter; I can't live with out her." "Aro you acquainted with my daughter?" "Not in the least." ' How, then, do you know yon can't live without her?" "Well, I heard yon were going to give ber lots of money when she married, and my personal expenses are so hiavy I can't livo with out her or some other woman who has got money to support a husband." How n Journalist Fared. A Little Rock newspaper man, while out iu the country, stopped at a rude farmhouse for dinner. Thinking that bis profession would insure extra atten tion, he remarked to the farmer : ' Needn't put yourself to extra trouble for mo, for I am an editor." "A what?" asked tho farmer, regard ing tho visitor with newly-awakened in terest. "A newspaper man." "Wall, I reckon you can get suthing to eat anyway. Some folks mont not gin yon nothiu' on this account, but I never was very particular. But hold on. Editor, did I understand you to Bay ?" "Yes, sir, I am an editor; and how ever unfavorably it may strike yon, I must say that I am proud of my call ing." I'll bet $100 that you are one of tho fellows that helped to take hell outcn the Bible. Reckon you'd better travel. Never mind that corn-bread and butter milk, Jule," Arkansaw Traveler.