(jjFhii djlhalham Record. H. A. LONDON, Jr., r.oiToii xsn rBornimm. Shi IMIii XiriA R. A.T2i3S Of ADVERTiHING. ima sqii.irw. one insertion. 1.U Olid square, two Insnttoiia,. M JL0 Bfl'iare, into month, 3.W TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: tmit wrT. on your, Oiiniiy ,l himuO, Onocupy. thiwa nwutu . -i VOL. V. PITTSBORO CHATHAM CO., N. C, NOVEMBER U, 1882. NO. 9. tr larger atlvertlwiniMita llix-rut rontracta will made. 1 6 6 6 l 2.ooi , , : " Constancy. To cotndaiicy a thoumin 1 fnti n are roared, To constancy a tlioiiH.iml songs itro aung; Tlit virtue liomin il, ckciiahod mid revered, Theme of tlio el I, and goal to tempt tho young, Still arc we laugh), like fiiiit'it-n livo anil die; Ftilb, hope anil love abido in constancy. Vet who that prizes u tumor' golden union, Dill longH (or autumn's soft pathetic, grace? Wlio revels in III" lavish wealth of Juno, Nor sinus to Ihink of April's varying fa-o ? Who tired of glare, liut turns to tint warm gloom, Where the great Villa-logs gliiunu r '" the room ? Why, without change, a rift would tloepon down; A passing wrotiK would redden to a liato; A love would wither 'iicalli an Hilary frown, Ami a ra-li voW lake all the strength of fate; Wlioro constancy might darken, curse, estrange, Fair fall tbo bunny poaor of hnppy olinngo ! Let Time's soft mngio wear away the wrath And patience tic. her peiTort work at last, And hope aow laughing blossoms on the path That will out-bloom the. night-shade of the pant Till all that livon and moves in life's wide range May bbss the sweet viciasiludna of change. AN UGLY BIRD. Up in the mountains stood a wooden hot, and tbore Jacques livid with Lin father and mother. A prettier spot you never spied. Never was grass so green as hereabouts, and, al though the nionntains showed their snow-dad Lends above it, thoy teemed like great, good nut art d piuntn whose task and care it .was to keep the tiny cot safe from harm. Even when winter came, and tlio great winds went roaring down tho valley, those mountains looked much as nNiial, nor changed when all else had altered for the worse when the enow lay thick on the doorstep and on the little pad dock where Ba-ba was wont to skip and play in tho sunshine. The sunshine wa?- gone now, but Ba-ba scaroe niissod it; for ho was tuken indoors while the cold lutted, and had a corner of his own by tho kitchen lire; aud there tho ungrateful brute would actually butt at his own shadow as a dangerous enemy, whereat Jacques wonld Ju'ih and clip his bauds. Jacques's father made toys ilnring tbef-o witter months, aud with the com ing of r-pring wonld travel with them to different fair?, being often a long time from homo on inch occasions. Then Jacques and Lis mother used to keep each othtr company, aud nioiry was tho welcome that awaitud the wan derer on iiia return. "Do you know, wife," said tho toy maker, ono evening, "I thiuk we Bhall have an early spring this year. The winter is nearly over already." "I am glad to hear it," said Jacques's mother, giving her spinning wheel a tarn as she spoke. "I don't liko tho cold." "Nor I." "We burn a deal of wood, aud Ba-ba rata much more when he is Lere with us. Indeed, I mversawau animal with such an appetite." "Ha. ha, tin !'' laughed hor husband; that is well. But wo nmttu't bu grum blers, though tho goat should eat a little) extra. Ba-ba's a friend." "That he is, lather," said Jacques with animation. "We should find it very dull sometimes, were it tot for him." ''Friends are not to be ligLtly parted with, either," continued the toy maker. "Remember that, my boy." In the end the father's prophecy proved true. Only a. week later the snow began to melt away. All day and all night was heard the rush of the water flowing down into the valley, and by and by the tun seemed to burst out overhead with a mighty stride, and tho winter was gone. Now, the toyniaker had a larger stock of toys than utnal this season, and pro posed to travel further front Lome on that account. A grand fair was about to be beld in a village some miles off, and there he Loped to dispose of the greater part of his goods. "For my dolls are much liked by the country folk," ho remarked, with one of bis bluff laughs. "No mother for half a league round will buy of any other dealer when I am by. Ha, ha I" He trimmed with his pocket ax at the doll he was making, laughing merrily the while. Jacques was up early next morning, and started for a ramblo. As he passed through the kitchen from the room ad joining, Ba ba roused himself and trot Ud to the door. "No," said the boy, and shut him in. At this the goat bellowed plaintively, but Jacques was soon out of hearing, and walked briskly on in the puro air. The sun was rising when he reached the wooden cross by tho notary's garden. Erly as it was, Mr. Vedal was ttandiog at his gate, smoking his meerschaum. He had a book in one hand and his tobitcoo pouch in the other. "AhaP he cried, briskly, "it's my little friend. How is J icqueg ?" Jacques bowed and blushed, and blushed and bowed Spain, as he an swered that he was quite well, and hoped bis honor was the som 'Tut on your cap, child," said Mr. Vedal, kindly. "So father has plenty of toys ready for our villagers yonder, has he?" The notary's manner was one of the cheeriest ever known. Jacques had a great respect for him. In a neighboily, unpretending way Mr. Vedal bad been very kind to the toymaker and his family, and tbey had no firmer friend in tho world. "Father expects to be busy this year, sir," the boy explained. "We are aftaid he will be away for some weeks." "Ah I" said Mr. Vedal, all tho merri ment dying out of his aco. "When will he start ?"' "I cau't tell, sir. Is there uny mes sage from your houor that I can give him ?" "Ihank jou, Jaoquos-Jio. 1 shall see hiui boforo that. Good morning." As Jacques doffed his cap and went away, it ttruck him that his patron was not iu his usual good spirits. But he quickly reflected that it was no busi ness of biH. No doubt, such n gentle man us Mr. Vedal ha.l a greut deal to occupy his thoughts Hnd make him grave ut. timet). The boy had o ily gono a few steps further, when ho suddenly stopped. "Hero's a bird I ' ho exclaimed. Aud such a bird, too I Au uglier specimuu of its kind it would bavo been hard to discover. Ho had a huge head, tet on a gaunt, nugaiuly body, short wings, aud euormoas feet and claws. His eyes were brixht aud piercing, with a curiou, far away gaze iu thum, his voice a hoir.se, defying' scioam. The boy stood still in surprise un able to stir. The bird made an ffort and wriggled on a little way, Happing his dwarfed wings and clutching viciously with his formidable claws at auy olirtaulo in the puh. He was evidently young aud unused to act for himself. Without nioro ado Jacques Secided to take tho stranger home. Wrapping bis haudkerchief round his hand, be managed, at the cost of somo severe scratches, to capture him. Bat even then-the getting him into the hut was no easy tank. He plunged and screamed and tore. At last, broiitbloss and heated, the boy Btumbled into the kitchen with Lis prize. "Lock what I've found, fatherl" ho gasped, and dropped, panting, into a chair. Father and mother wore at breakfast. The toymaker paused in the act of con veying a slice of black bread to his mouth, and laid down his knife. "Oh, what a frightful monstorl" criod the toymaker's wife, retreating. Jacques's proud look fell. "Mother! But he is only a crow,'' lie pleaded. "Crow, Jacques! With those eyes! Well, 1 neverl What do you thiuk, fatherV" The toymaker rubbol his chiu in thoughtful silence; then, rising, pro ceeded to examiue the bird with a searching rcrutiny. "He's young," ho remarked, "Do you know what he is, wife?" "No." "Can't you guess or yon, Jacques?" Thus appealed to, they both shook their heads. The other smiled superior. "I'll leave you to penetrate the mys tery yourselves, then," he said, and continued his breakfast. Tho stranger could certainly ei.t as well as Bu ba did; nevertheless, his taste in tho matter of diet was remarka ble. For tho Feeds and grain whioh they brought him be showed a thorough oontempt, but he literally devoured meat of every kind. Then he moved aoross the floor and perched himself on the edge of a brokon stool, whence he continued to oast sidelong glances at them nntil overcome by sleep. When the family retired for the night he was wide awake, and they left him brooding there like au ugly hobgoblin. They Lad not rotired long, and the hat was sunk in darkness, when a hide ous nproar arose in the kitchen. The toymaker was quickly on the spot with a liaht, and lot there, was Ba ba butting furiously at random, while the bird fluttered round him with feathers ruffled, eyes aglow, and claws working like the sails of a windmill. Yet, marvelous to say, bird and beast agreed amazingly after that encounter, and never fought moro. Tbey would lie together in the paddock till the former grew restless, and then whirl whirl my lord was off, darting through the air as a fish darts through the water; for hethad soon grown into a splendid bird, and when he rose from the ground the sound of his wings conld be heard all over the place. Still neither Jacques nor his mother knew exactly what to make of him, and still tho father kept his secret. The day of the grand fair drew nigh. The toymaker began to prepare for his departure, and the packing i.' his goods was the work of some time. Ono evening, in the middle of all, a visitor appeared Mr. Vedal. The goat was in bis customary corner; Jacques on his knees belpiag his father to sort the dolls in their proper sizes; while his mother sat knitting. As for the bird, he had been abroad from an early hour, but was sure to come back- The toymaker greeted the notary heartily, and offered him a chair. Mr. Vedal shut tho door as Locarno iu. "You are a bold and brave man," be said, speaking quickly. "Can I trust you to go to tho Anbergo for the guard?'' Tho toymaker drew nearer to him, "What do yon mean, sir?" ho asked. "Three men are on my track to rob, perhaps murder mo, and I am defense less. Listen, my friend. When first your son told me that yon intended going to tho fair, I thought I would see yon and put you on your guard, but I was busy then, and am old, and have doluyod till it may bo too lato. Tho men I speak of have been lurking in tho neighborhood for months pnst. Ho turning but now from visiting a client, who bus entrusted mo with u largo sum of money, I found they wero in pursuit. I was mounted, aud distanced them ut first, but my horno fell under me. Hurry, now, and bring tho guard, wbilo 1 do my best to hold tho placothey will soon bo hero." The listenerundtrstood tho situa'ion. "You have been kind to rue, sir," he said, in. his frank way. "I go." About half an hour afterward thero came a thnmp, at the door, and another thump, thump till tho door swung loose on its binges. Iu that awful moment one lost chance was left to rusji out uu tho door full in, and trust to tho darkness for escape, As tho notary prepared to put out the light, a dark object brushing by his side caused hiui to start violently. "An eagle I How " Ho was unable to say more. By de grees the door cpoued wider, till thore was spaco for a man to pass through, and over the threshold passed tho first ruffian. Before ho could defend him self before he could even tull the nntnre of tho danger that threatened him whiz I clap! a stroke like a flail caught him iu the face, and he pitched head forcmobt on to tho floor. Staggered at first by tho fate of their leader, tho others rallied and came obstinately on. One drew a pistol and prepared to fire. But just then the tramp of armed men was audible, advancing at the double. The ruffian flung his wenpon down, muttering: "The bird's done for us I" With that he was preparing to make a run for it, when he saw it was too late. The soldiers baa ar rived. "All that glitters is not gold," says the proverb. Bo kind to all dumb creatures if yon would meet with kind ness yourself. This is tho moral of "An Ugly Bird." A Widow with a Strange HUiory. Mrs. Sarah C. W.Tilby, who was held to bail in Brooklyn, on Wednesday, charged with obtaining a gold watch under fake pretences, has had un event ful life, though only 31) years of ngo. At 13 she was married to William C. Denning, a Virginia surveyor, but bo came a widow beforo she was out of her teens. Her next hnsband, H. C. Morse, a New York merchant, lived a few years enly. Sbo next became the wife of Jesse O Hie, but got a divorce from him in Illinois. Her next matri monial venture was with Eugeno E Abbey, a paymaster in the United States Army. From Lim also sho ob tained a divorce. A man named A. J. Hayes claimed that ho married her in 1875, and that after living with him for some time she left him to marry Joseph Tilby. She deuids having married Hayes, buc claims to bo the widow of Tilby, who left her his entire fortune, amounting to (300,000. Three chil dren of Tilby by his first wifo are now ccn testing the will. Mr. Tilby died rather suddenly, aud Lis ouihlron accused Mrs. Tilby of poisoning Lim. She asserts that a post-mortem exami nation made by Dr. Parker Brown effectually disposed of the allegation of poisoning. Mrs. Tilby.is tho woman who alleged that she had been chloro formed and robbed of a large quantity of diamonds in the Metropolitan Hotel two years ago . He l'atd. A Harrisbnrg dressmaker, haviug con siderable difficulty in eolleoting a bill from a gentleman whose wife had em ployed her, interviewed the lady herself and in apparently the nioBt innocent fashion remarked that she "could not see why the gentleman paid Miss B 's (a young school teacher) bill so much more promptly than the other one.'' The next day, with a subdued look upon his face, he called around and paid that bill. The schoolmistress took a vacation, and his friends amuse them selves now and then by asking if he still supported the noble cause of edu 1IIK rAMIIO.NS. Small bonnets and large round bats are announced. The latest and most attractive novelty in children's dress is the Pole cap. Rose colored tulle is woru across the shoulders with black ball costume. Shoulder capes of Guipure lace are the most stylish black f'.chas now worn. Gold straw, gold beadH, braid aud cording trim many of the new impoited bonnets. A silver horseshoe, is fastened on tho urm at the meeting of a long lau glove with a short sleeve. Tho newest ribbous for t iimming aro velvet on ono t-ulo aud sud curded like Sioilienne on the other. Breukfait cups of fanchon shape aro made of the new mulls with colored grounds ou which gay roses are printed. 1 Copper shades with electric blue, Btrawborry red with riflo green, aud brown with green, are tho Vontrat-ts of colors favored for autumn toilets. Very long stemmed roses are the arti ficial flowers most desirable for corsage bouquets. A miirIo r-isu cost $1, uiul from five to ten aro mounted in a group. Combinations of black and white are as popular as over. Petticoats are unulo of it, while the upper portion of tbo costume may bo black silk, cashmere or nuu's veiling. At the ni'llinory openings last week, mull's wero shown to mutch bonnets. The soft run IT of velvetor plush trimmed with chenillo fringe is prettiest with dark bonnets. Cloth costumes are increasing in favor. Tiny checks, such as are seen in gentlemen's business suits, are liked for those- toilets, and are shown in dark shades. Castellated edgos make a tasteful finish for basques and skirt-front breadths Of clot h aud cashmere dresses. They ure made more effective ,by being welted with a cord or fold of bias silk. Red woolen goods are luvishly used for little people. Scarlet kilts, with dark bluo blouses, ccarlet grounds with blue guirups, or with scarlet, aro fre quently seen aud aro usually becoming. New basques are single-breasted. When ornamental bust drapery is added it takes tho form, of a loriggnioipe, or a short plastron,' either square or oval, and made very full by gathers and folds. Corded silks outnumber satins in im ported drosses. These aro to mako a long, slonder overdress, with skirts of rich brocaded silks that have tho figures of plash or velvet thrown up on a corded silk surface. Students' wps of velvet with a soft crown, a shirred band, a large bow in front, and a bird's wing on the left side, are worn by yonng ladies, and are chosen to match the color of the cos tume with which they are worn. Bilk squares for the neck aro doubled and pointed low in front, and the open space filled in with two frills of lace. Sky blue, crushed strawberry, and ore vette squares are used, with the Jedges scalloped or trimmed with luce or hem stitched. Velvet round hats with high, square crowns and straight brims in sailor shape ure becoming to youthful faces. Tbey have two wido bands of velvet folded around tho crown, and a dagger or arrow of gilt, bronzo or silver is thrust iuto tho bund. Carrick capes take away tho stiff, plain look of cloth rediugotes. They are made of plush with a turned-down collar fastened by a silver brooch; or tbey muy be of tho cloth of the gar ment with the collar oovered with braiding, aud a border of braiding on the edge. Arrow-points, arabesques.lotus leaves, obelisks, columns with various Egyptian aud Turkish designs aro woven iu the new tapestry wojlens that are fashiona ble) oerdresses. Japanese storks and fan patterns ure also imported, but have lost favor as thoy have been so long used. A skirt of velvet embossed with bronzo kid, and a paletot of cloth with a border of fur or leathers is au elegant model for winter suits. Dark green and seal brown aro the most de sirable colors for bueh a dress. The bounet is a poke of felt with a'vel vet baud and a largo bird for trim ming. Black lace flounces that have been out of use almost for a generation are being draped ou petticoats and trains of the stately dresses worn at dinner par ties. Chantilly, Spanish aud Guipure are the favorite black laces for flounces. Bonnets covered with a scarf of the lac i to match are worn with these dresses at receptions. The Italian army and navy now cost the State $01,000,000 per annum, or fifty per cent of the whole amount of the general expenses of the State, in cluding the cost of public works, and exclusive only of pnblio debt interest, railway subventions, and the like. A woman is under sentence of thirty five years' imprisonment for selling liquor at Rutland, Vt., that period being composed of 200 different terms for a like number of offences. Advice to a Mint Young JWiiii. "I want to see an editor," saida slim yonng man who wore very light pants, a hat a'ooat tbo sir.-) and shape of a peanut-shell, and a collar tbat seemed to bo always reaching for his chin without quite getting there, as he opened the door yesterday afternoon. "If it's anything about a delightful reneptit n was held last Thursday even ing at the residence of our woll-known fellow-citizon, John Smith, or Miss Beatrice Perkins will spend the autumn ut Mukwunugo, you'll have to take it into tho other room;" said tho horse reporter, ' because the sciely editor is out editing a chicken fight this after noon, and the orders are to ton all the social gruel over to tbo janitor. To morrow is window-cloauing day." "I came up to see," f-aid the yonng man, "whether one of the editors would have any objection to giving mo some advice on a matter in which I am deeply interested. I may say that" "You're in lovo, aren't you?'' asked the horso reporter. "I know you arc, anyhow," ho continued, without giving the visitor u chance to answer. "There is a sort of nervous, Lesita ing, cat lound in tlio-wiong baek yard air nbont your actions that gives yon away at once. What's tho troublo ? Girl gone back on yoa ?'' "I think not," replied the young man. ,-I cannot believe that uny ono Las usurped my place iu her uflVctious." "D.mo what?" "I say I do not believe her love Las faltered?" "You musn't Lave such a Boston way of talking," said tho horso reporter, "or wo shan't be able to got along well. Tho girl hasn't weakenod, you say? ' "No." "How's tho old man ? Have you cor rulled Lim ?" "Do you mean tho young lady's father?" asked the visitor, a look of mild astonishment passing over his countenance. "Certainly I do," responded the re porter. "How do yon loom np in tho parental horizon ?" "The father of the young lady does not object to mo," was the reply. "Well, then, what's Wrong? You havejhe girl on your side, and her father is agreeable. It looks to me like a walk-over for the monoy." "I hardly think yon understand the matter," said the young man. "My trouble is thut tho young lady does not seem fitted to become tho wife of a man who wants a helpmeot. She doesn't seem to have any practical ideas re garding life." "Sort of a girly-girl, isn't she?" said the horse reporter; "always talking about the identity of the ideal, aud all su3h mush as that, and wants to know if the silvered penoilings of moonlight among the verdure-clad trees are not weirdly beautiful. I've seen that kind. They're dasics to keep away from." "I think you have the right idea,' replied the visitor, "although your style of expressing it is somewhat crude." "It's a pretty tough case," said the admirer of Maud S. "These girls that are so eternally wsthetical are generally first-class feeders though Pve noticed that. Tho silvery moonbeams never seem to take away their appetite. I guess you'd better try the reckless-dissipation racket that ought to fetch her." "Try tho whatV" "The reckless-dissipation racket. The next time you call on Myrtle, or what ever her name is, you want to plant yonrsclf on tho sofa with a eoit of weary, man-been reading-a-Milwankee paper look, and put your hand up to your forehead. Thn when she asks what's the matter, yon say that her manner of late has been so cold that it must be that she does not lovo you, and that tho thought of losing her was so maddening that yon have been indulg ing iu reckless dissipation. If she doesn't sling herself around some then, and say that she will ncer, never leave yon, and how conld yon ever doubt her love, und all that, I'm no judge Aud tho horse reporter assumed Benjamin Franklin look. "I will act on your suggestion, said the visitor, taking up his kiss-mo quick before-I-go hat, and looking out iu a friendly way over the high-water collar. "How much dissipation do you think 1 ought to indulge in to produce the proper effect ?" "Well," replied tho horse reporter, "I should imagiue that if you were to play about two games cf billiards and drink a strong lemonade, it would constitute for you the wildest kiud of a debauch." A Cincinnati l.'ho,t Story. The Cincinnati Enqnirer relates the ghostly experience of a citizen of that place, who has recently been frightened almost out of his senses by mysterious noises in his house. The strictest in vestigation has failed to explain the mystery, and the gentleman, although hitherto not a spiritualist, has been converted to that faith against his will, and is preparing to leave a house sub ject to such unpleasant visitations. A Woman's Xerve. Early on Tuesday morning, Mrs. David Conhaim was aroused from sleep by a burglar's sttaUby sfep. She could bear the burglar moving along on his hands aid knees from the dining room to the bed room, and at each stop something struck the floor which she believed to be either a billy or revolver. But in the meantime the burglar Lai takon all her husband's clothing, which had beoa loft ou a chair, including a gold watch and chain and SCO iu cash, and was stealthily making his way back toward the dining room door, which opens into a yard fronting Eleventh street. Mrs. Con haim concluded that the timo for action had arrived. Sho left her bed, walked to a bureau in one corner of the room wlrereiu a loaded revolver was kept, and iu doing so must have passed within a few feet of tho crouching burglar. After gaining po-session of the revolver, sho entered the dining room just as tho bnrglur had passed ont to the porch, whore ho was found standing on the step witU most of the stolen clothing under one iirm, aud the vest held in tit t right, hand. This brought them within nbont three feet of, each other. The bravo lady covered the thief with tho weipon and ex claimed : "Drop the clothes or I will fire I" Tho response oamn in the sluipo of a blow over the head and face with the vest held in the burglar's bund, he evidently intending to rither blind her or knock her down with thn weight of tho heavy gold wotch in tlio pocket. Luckily, however, the watch (Ipw out of the pocket, and as Mrs. Conhaim threw her hand np to ward off the blow, the chain itrnck between her finger, close to the watch. Instantlv she closed her hand over the time- pi pop, gavo a jerk backward, which broko the chain, whereupon the burg lar, with a fierce ost'j, throw the vest at hor face, unconscious of tho fact that tho sum of ?f!0 in currency had been left tmdistnrbed in one of the pockets. Th. burglar then started toward Eleventh street, Mrs. Conhnim tiring two shots at him, without effect proba bly, and following him as closely a passible. When ho reached tho 'side walk on the latter street ho stopped an instant, threw up both hands and dropped all tho clothing on tho side walk, Mrs. Conhuim picking thm np and carrying every carmen t lack to the house St. Paul I'nss. Curious if True. Tho St. Louis Republican fays: "Speaking of mind reading and magne tism, a few days ago a gentleman, re cently returned from a European trip, related an occurrence wherein there surely seems to be something more than mere whimsicality or caprice. A lady well known iu Boston is given as authority for the story, tho incident having happened to herself. H!i ', some time after the murder of Jennie Cramer, in New Haven, was stopping at a Boston hotel, and being among the recent arri vals, was placed at a table devoted to thoso gnosts of the hostelry, She was seated at a table directly opposito quitt a fine-looking man, who seemed per fectly gentlemanly and polite. Upon sitting down to tho table the first day she found she could not eat anything, and her appetite always faibd hor when ever she sat down to table with this man opposite her. For several days in sue cession when si'tiug at the table hhcfelt sick, weak aud oppressed with fear, and was at a loss to explain the singular coincidence. After thinking the matter over for somo time she found that slit always ate heartily on tho few oeessioui" that the polito gentlemam did not tit at the tablo with her. She spoke to the waiter, dosiring another tablo, and explaining confident! illy the reasons for which she asked the change. In accordance with her request she was placed at another table, and ever after wards ato very heartily und with nou of tho sense of oppressiveness whioh formerly came over her ut tho other table. She went awav for some t'mo and came buck to tho same hotel. The waiter recognized her aud mentioned tho facts connected with the change of eating places. Sho had almost forgot teu tho affair and wondered why tho waiter called the matter up again. He asked her if she knew the gentleman who hnd exercised over her such a pe culiar, influence. She stated that she had not the faintest idet of tue man's character, knowing only that she in stinctively shrank from him. The waiter then informed her that her com panion at tbo table was none other that the celebrated Walter Malley, who, with his brother, was accused of the murder of Jennie Cramer." The taxable property of Texas has increased iu amount from 8222 504,073 in 1871 to $357,000,000, its estimated value in 1881. Galveston county con taius the largest amount possessed by any single count; , its tax list aggre gating $17,741,550. 1 ho trying Evil. Our beer In full of awful things, There's to its alla m our caudy; False notes, too oft, the tenor sinirs, Our brandy's anything but brandy; Our tea would make Culustials weep, Our woolens bubble o'er with cotton; flood fruit is always on tlio top, While underneath is placed thn rottoli. The oyster laughs their skill to scorn, They can't adulterate potatoes; liut, though wo know that "ckrsso egi?," They often soeui half salaraliiH. Thn r.njrlinli ale is far behind The brew that pleased tbo elnoi y Dickons, Ami I'm convinced wu buy a kind Of patent liKiium-vitie cliiekens ! Ou with the dance ! We must not daro To spend a moment iu relb-etiiir', Sineo what we -at and drink Kiel wear Is filled wild what we're ii"t expieting. My farewell words, though few aud sad, I'ercUaie'o in iv bo Hliti'-ipatld - Our politicians are so but '"' cannot be adulterated ! VAHIKITKS. A wire li 1)01) feet, long over tho river Kistnah in India is tlm longest in tho world. It is stretched botweon two hills l,t!l0 feet hifh. A New York letter carrier was ar reted for stealing money letters, when it was discovered that ho had four wives. No wonder ho had to steal. 'The proper stndy of mankind is man." Pope know better than to say ' woman." Woman is too deep a study for anvbodv to undertake. Judge Allen, of Boston, called up a lawyer in open court nnd compelled b'rn to refund a foo of 8'25 from a poor woman whoso c ise ho hud utterly neg lected. Brown "Did you say, sir, that I could lie as fast a a horse conld trot?" Frog "No. sir, I simply suid that few horses could trot as fast as you oonld lie." Brown "Oh I" An old bachelor recently gave the following toast: Women-the morn ing star of infuuoy, tho day star of min hood, tho evening star of age. Bless our stars, and mav they always bo kept at a telescopic distance. A French cheuii-t bus di' covered that the flavor of checio is determined by tho germs in the atmosphere. The germs must be in a stato cf rapid decomposition where Limburger is manufactured. "How fur is it to Manaynnk? ' asked a weary man, who was going there afoot. "Seven miles," was the reply. "Whom do you wish to soe there?" Faith, it's meself I'd like to woo there," was tho retort. There is a man ont iu Sonora who rejoices in feet that are seventeen inohes in length, and fiuds further pride in tho possession of u sweetheart who cannot get h. r feet in Lis bcots. Emigrants , from St. Louis ? Rome is asserted, to be unprecedent edly healthy. Last winter only sixteen English Protestants died there, of whom all were over OS and ouo 97. The municipality contemplates, further improvements ou a groat scale. Tho Rev. Sunrise Dana, an Oneida Indian, is traveliug as a revivalist. Ho tells his congregation that his pious mother called him to her deathbed and asked him to go to a secluded place) and pray. He did so, aud hoard a loud voice from heaven commanding him to throw away his tomahawk and scalping knifo. A great bull of iho burst over his Load, and other phenomena marked his conversion. n adds that his triho refnsed to beiiove his story, and re mained scoffers. Terrible Scene in a Church. While tho n-mal Wednesday night services wero going on in tho Roxboro, N. C, Baptist Clinrch, which was crowded, the immense chandelier, hold ing twelve largo kerosene lamps, and suspended from the oeiling, broke and fell in tho midst of tho congregation. As tho chandelier fell, tho lamps wero overturned and spread hissing sheets of tiro in every direction, and in an in stant tho church and many of tho con crega'ion wero in flames and others wero stilbd by tho black oil smoko, which quickly filled tho building. Men, women and children were soon crowded together in ono linddlinT mos, all panic stricken. Tho minister was among the first to recover his presence of mind, and he at once called to the deacons to preserve order, and persuade tho congregation to be calm. This had tho desired effect, and as soon an tbo minister, who fortunately had a stento rian voice, shouted the names of tho different church officers present they began at onco to break ppen the doors and windows, aud organized to remove the women and children. The church, which is a largo frame building, with out galleries, bad four doors and la'go windows on each side, and fortunately was not raised high above the ground, The congregation, thorefero, were ena bled to get out without delay. Several ladies and an old gentleman were badly inpnred bv the falling chandelier. Num bers of others were burned by the oil, but up to this hour no deaths are re ported, but it is feared that four of those present, all young ladies, will die from the effect of the flames.

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