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0 / 75
2fe dJIhaJhnm Record.
On square, one Jnirrtlon, . l.ot
Oueiqntro.twoliitprtlnui, .... LM
H. A. LONDON, Jr.,
EDITOR AXD rnorRtETon.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
Onocopf ,rlx iiioiitliii m m i,oa
Om eopj , tbra months, Ml
riTTSBORO CHATHAM CO., N. C, NOVEMBER 30, 1882.
Tnr larger tilvcrtlncmeuU liberal coutracts mitt
Be glad to-dny, my heart ; to-morrow's nun
May never shine for you ;
The fragile thread of life mny all be spun
And heaven'B burnished bluo
Bend o'er a sylvnn pnthwny winding on
Where feathery fronds of fern
Tiny with the breer.es, with my footsteps
Whence there, in no return.
O soul of nunc, how often hnvo you missed,
A blessed vvuty,
While gazing toward tho hills of amethyst
Tbiit ever flit and flee?
And lift their folded summit far nwny,
And farther evermore 1
I'p from the past a long, glad yesterday
Come echoes, nothing more.
Strength for to-day, to bear iis bliss or
Is all onough to Reek,
A longed-for Joy mny siuito the Birres to
We croatures are so weak.
Tho passing hours, roscued from emptiness
By chisel, brush, or pen,
Or homely toil, or tears, or mute caress,
Will bud and bloom again.
A fraction of tho infinite garnered whero
'Twill never fudo awny,
Nor moth nor mildew fret, nor cark nor
Too bounteous to deenv.
Huston 7'ninsi'i ii't-
SELFISH JOHN CLARK.
The meeting was a good one in spite
of the intense heat, and that then- was
more singing done ly mosquitoes than
by the human species.
John Clark wit by an open w indow,
whero what breeze, there was camo in
and kept him comparatively comfort
able, and then he had on a clean linen
suit which his wife had washed and
ironed that day, notwithstanding the.
in-Ten rj' mounted liigh in the nineties,
and its freshness was an additional
His first crop of hay, much larger
than usual, hail that day been put in
his spaeious barns without damage by
so much its a drop of rain. He was
well, strong, prosperous, therefore
The ride home was charming, and as
the new horse took them through
Cairnley woods, with sure, licet feet,
he felt that that life was very bright ;
and, as he thought of Brother White's
remarks about "weary burdens," "feet
tired with the march of life," he con
cluded that the aforesaid brother was
not in the enjoyment of religion.
John's wife sat hack in the carriage,
resting her tired body and turning ovur
in her niiiul the remarks her John lufl
wade at the meeting. "Hear ye ono
another's burdens," had been the sub
ject of the evening's talk, and John's
speech had been listened to with evi
"Your husband has the root of the
matter in him," said the pastor as she
passed out. "I hope we shall all take
heed to his well-timed words."
"I think of hiring Tom Kirch x a
sort of spare hand and call-boy gciuer
ully. VI And this hot weather takes the
starch out of me," John said, ;i the
horse trotted through the cool pine
grove, ainid flickers of moonlight.
"Will you board him?" asked Mtiry
Clark in a const rained voice, with the
memory of her husband's exhortations
still in mind.
"Of course. I want him evenings to
take the. horse w hen we come from
meeting, or if I have taken a friend
out. It is rather hard to have to goto
work directly one gets home."
"You are to hire him to bear sonic
of your burdens," said Mary, in tho
tumo hard voice.
"Just so, wife. It stands mo in
hand to practice, if I preach ; don't
you say so?"
"1 do 1 I sun glad you are to have
help; us you say, it is hard to go to
work the minute you get home. I have
Ven foolish enough to have this rido
r.jwiled by thinking of bread to mix,
two baskets of clothes to fold before I
sleep, for the ironing to-morrow, and
dinner to get for four hungry men, and
baby to care for."
"Don't crowd to-morrow's burdens
into tins pleasant ride. And it seems
to me that it would lie better to get all
your housework done before meeting
time." "If I could, but that Is impossible;
milk to strain, dishes to wash, Benny
and baby to put to bed idl these duties
come together, and then I am tired
enough to go to bed myself."
"Take it easy, Mary; keep cool, avoid
all the hot work you can."
"I wish I could havo a girl, JohnP
"Mother used to say girls were more
hindrance than help. I guess you
would And them so, and then they
wast and break more than their wages.
I don't see how I can afford a girl. Do
what you can, and leave some things
undone; that's tho way to work It,"
and John sat back with a satisfied air,
nnd Mary thought of her husband's
glowing words in tho prayer-meeting.
"I will do all I can," said Mary in a
wear Toice. "What I am obliged to
do is much beyond my strength. The
three- meals come near together, wash
ing and ironing must bo done, baby
shall not be neglected, and of course I
must keep the clothes well mended."
"One tiling at a time is the way to
think of your duties. Tick up all the
comfort you can as you go along. I
have made up my mind to do so in the
"So I see by your thinking of having
an extra hand."
"Yes. I feel that I must take euro
of my health for your sako and the
"Certainly." Mary answered in a
sarcastic tone, "how thoughtful you
are for us !"
John made no further comment, but
inwardly wished that prayer-meetings
lid Mary the good they had done once,
and wondered why Ids wife had so
"I am going with Squire Towne to
see a new reaper; he says he hardly
wants to buy without my opinion."
This was next day.
John left his wife ironing, with the
half-sii-k baby sitting by the table in
the company of an army of flies; and
in spite of the home scene en joyed his
ride along tho pleasant, shaded road,
well-pleased to be seen so much with
the great man of the town. At sup
per time he came, home with tho new
reaper behind the wagon.
"Hy taking two we made a handsome
saving; and, as I intended to buy one,
I thought I might as well take it now,"
he remarked by way of explanation.
"It will save time and strength, and
pay for itself in a year."
Mary made no comment, but set her
teeth tighter together when sho remem
bered that she had asked in vain for
something to make her work easier. A
sewing-nuichino had been pronounced
"hurtful; better have fewer changes of
clothing than run a machine," John
had decided when the subject was dis
cussed; a "clothes-wringer would be
constantly getting out of order. To
bring the w ater intothe house would be
j just to spoil the water. Nothing, after
all, like the good old bucket. Mother
I would never have a pump in her day!"
"My mother used to say all men are
selfish, and I begin to think she was
right," Mary muttered as she went to
the kitchen lor the plate of hot biscuit
John was so fond of for his tea.
Her husband's appetite was good, but
from fatigue and overheating herself
Mary could not cat. His ride and the
society of the genial Squire had acted
like a tonic, but there is no tonic in the
air of a hot kitchen.
"A commonplace life," sho said, and
she sighed, as sho cleared away the tea
dishes, while John lilted back in his
armchair on the cool, draughty porch
and talked over things with Neighbor
"Why don't you buy Widder Patch's
cranberry luedder?'' asked Mr. Jones;
"it's going dirt cheap, and you can
afford it." The sum was named,
figures that astonished Mary, and she
was more surprised when she heard
her husband say :
"I've half a mind to do it. I've just
had an old debt paid in, and, to tell the
truth, affairs in the money market are
so squally, I don't know just 'where to
salt it down."
No tears came to Mary's tired eyes,
but her heart went out in one mighty
sob us sho stood, dish-pan in hand,
before the disordered table, and thought
how cheaply she had sold herself, really
for $ 2 a week and her board, to the
man who had promised to love nnd
cherish her until death. The beautiful
piano she had brought to tho farm was
never opened, but looked like a gloomy
casket wherein was buried all the
poetry of her life. The closed "best
parlor" had long since assumed the
grimness and uiustinessof count ry best
parlors, of which in her girlhood she
had made much fun. John was a rich
man, and, in spite of his marriage vows
and his glowing prayer-meeting talk,
was allowing burdens grievous to lie
borno to press on her slender shoulders,
in order to "salt down" his dollars.
Had she not a duty to perforin?
Ought she to allow him to preach and
never to practice? Had she not rights
to bo respected? which were not by her
husband; for, she reasoned, if he
allowed her to do what could be done
UUVnVtl lll l t'J nutlb VAUiU uxt UW11U
by an ignorant Irish woman for 2
week, then he rated hcrat that price.
"Widder Patch has had a rough time
on't," said Ncighlior Jones ; " sho is
going to the Westw'rd to Tom if phe
sells tho modder, and Jane is going out
to work. She's tried sewing, but it
don't agree with her, and Dr. Snow
recommends housework as healthy
" 'Tis healthy business," chimed in
John. " Now, my wife is a good deal
better than when I married her. Why,
she never did a washing in her. life
until she came to the farm. I think
washing and general housework is
much iK'tter than piano-playing and
"So I say to the girls, who pester ire
to buy an orgin, 'lletter play on the
washboard, enough sigdit.'" was the ele
"Are you going to buy the cranberry
meadow, John?" Mary asked, as she
saw her husband making preparations
to go from home.
"Can you afford it ?"
"Wc shall have to uggor n little
closer in order to do it ; but it Ls going
"You will have to give up Tom
Hirch, won't you, and do the chores
" I have thought of it ; but Tom is
poor, nnd to give him a home is a deed
of charity. No, we will save some
"How much do you pay Tom?"
"Three dollars and his board. And,
by the way, he says you didn't wash
his clothes. Washing and mending was
in the bargain."
" I think Tom will have to go, fur I
have hired Jane Patch. She will be
here to-night. Two dollars a week I
am to give her. You want to practise
'Hear ye one another's burdens' as well
as preach from the text, so I will give
you a chance. I will take my turn at
sitting on the cool piaz.aa after tea
with a neighlHir, while you do the
chores. 1 think the time has come
for some of my burdens to be lifted.
Hy exchanging Tom for Jane, you will
have one dollar a week for the cran
berry meadow. You say strong, active
Tom is in need of a home ; he can make
one for himself anywhere. It is a deed
of charity to give Jane a home, and an
act of mercy to give your wife a little
Before John could recover from his
astonishment, Mary walked out of his
sight, and taking the children went to
tho shut-up parlor. Throwing open
tho windows to let in the soft summer
air, w ith baby in her lap, she sat down
at her piano and began to play a "song
without words," a piece John had loved
to hear when he use to visit her in her
home, where she was a petted girl.
The song crept out through Mie open
windows and around to John as he sat
on tho porch, and memory compelled
him to give tho song words. Not
musical poetry, but rather somber
prose, where in washing, ironing, hard
days at the churn, hours of cooking for
hungry men, stood out before his
mind's eye in contrast to tho fair
promises he had made the pretty girl
he had won for his bride.
Jane Patch came that evening, and
at once took upon herself many of Mrs.
Clark's cares, and no one greeted her
more cordially than the master of the
house. Nothing was ever said about
her coming, and Tom Birch did not go
away ; so Mary knew that her husband
could well afford the expense.
She told me how she helped to make
one man thoughtful and unselfish, as
wo sat on her cool piazza one hot
August night ; audi was glad that one
woman hail grit enough to demand her
rights. If John Clark had been poor
his wife would have borne her burden
in patience, but she had no right to
help make him selfish, and indifferent
as to her health and comfort. Huston
THE HOME DOCTOR.
Dr. Foott's Health Monthly advises
people not to "attempt to cool off quickly
when overheated; many a fatal 'cold'
has been caught by so doing."
Careful cooking of even tho longest
used and best known kinds of food,
whether animal or vegetable, Is the
important rule to insure health and
strength from the table. No matter
what the quality of the food to begin
with may be, a bad cook will invariably
incur heavy doctors' bills and a not less
inconsiderablo "little account" at the
In case of poisoning the simplo nile
is to get tho poison out of the stomach
as soon as possible. Mustard and salt
act promptly as emetics, and they are
always at hand. Stir a tahlosjMjouful
in a glass of water, and let tho person
swallow it quickly. If it does not
cause vomiting in live minutes repeat
tho dose. After vomiting give the
wnitea of two or threo rKK"
Housekeepers, merchants ami others
in handling knives, tools and other
sharp instruments, very frequently
receive severe cuts, from which blood
flows profusely, and oftentimes en
dangers life itself. Blood may be mado
to cease flowing as follows : Take tho
fino dust of tea, at all times accessible
and caisily obtained, and bind it close to
the wound. After the blood baa ceased
to flow laudanum may be advantage
ously applied to the wound. Due
regard to these instruct ions would save
much agitation of mind while running
for tho surgeon.
Bright Jet ornaments never go out of
The rage for rod-caps for childnn is
on the increase.
ltedingote costumes are made up
with the utmost simplicity.
Ashes of rosos under a new name
appears among artistic colors.
Turbans of all kinds are worn by
young girls, as well as by children.
Children's hats and bonnets are more
quaint and picturesque than ever.
(iold soutache embroidery appears on
a few red and blue all-wool costumes.
Children's garments of all hinds are
made rigorously loose and easy lilting.
After all there is no color so hand
some as scarlet for a balmoral or petti
coat. Fine gauze veils with chenille dots
bid fair to take the place of tullc-dotlcd
Black wool dresses remain the favor
ites of American women for ordinary
It is said that the plush jackets, now
so much worn, w ill be only a passing
The Prince Albert frock coat re
mains a popular garment for ladies'
Feather hands and long pile plush
are the rivals of fur for dress and cloak
The dusky shades of grayish mauve
and purple are combined in many silk
suits for children.
The latest fancy for neck lingerie is
to unite several colors in the ribbon
bows that mingle with the laces at the
Buffs and ruches do not encircle the
neck, but arc brought down low on the
bosom in front, but the throat is not
The fancy work of tho moment- is
the crocheting of licelle-colored twine
or unbleached cotton into collars and
cuffs for dresses.
livery lady should have a plush jacket
iu black, seal, brown, or some other
color which will harmonize with any
kind of askirt.
Two things stout women should leave
severely alone are the Jersey and the
bustle. The former make them look
like animated meal bags.
New bangles are of gold, from which
dangle live, ten nnd twenty-dollar gold
pieces the coins being genuine. They
are expensive, of course, and are chiefly
affected by the young ladies who repre
sent our moneyed aristocracy.
A novelty in bridesmaids' dresses
consists ill different colors for different
costumes; the costumes, however, to be
fashioned alike and of the same mate
rial. Fnslilotinlii Pom.
There are fashions in dogs as in every
thing else Anne of Austria loved King
Charles spaniels, probably because they
were English. Madame de Sevigne
doted on silky Maltese terriers, and
Marie Loezinska lost the affectum of
her royid husband through her infatua
tion of her laji-dogs. I'ugs were the
great '.elight of Marie Antoinette and
her ladies, and greyhounds were the
pets during the Restoration. Scotch
collies, toy terriers, and pugs are all in
favor at the present time, and there
are signs that the Blenheim spaniel will
be the pet of the future.
Some important facts about Chinese
women are given by the Hev. W. S.
Swanson, missionary of the English
Presbyterian at Amoy, China. He
thinks that in that ( nlry women are
a greater power than in any other
Eastern land. lie speaks of their
sturdy, strong, pithy character, such as
'makes them the real backbone of China.
They are terribly oppressed, yet not
tamely submissive, but rather resisting
and reforming. Many of them have
entered into a league, says Mr.
Swanson, against the practice of foot
binding, pledging themselves not to
practice it, and further, to marry their
sons only to women whoso feet were
never bound. No more difficult reform
could havo been undertaken.
KrquLllt-a for a Pkrairlfin.
To be a successful physician a woman
must be n lady, a womanly woman.
No aping of masculine habits, dress or
foibles will conduce to success. She
must have an affinity for tho work,
feel at home in the sick-room, with a
desire and tact to relievo suffering, de
void of any morbid sensibility at sight
of pain, offensive deformities and
ghastly injuries and operations. She
must be born to command, linn in pur
pose and quick to execute, at the same
timo have dignity and self-control.
Nothing must escape her observation.
She must be able to reason from cau.-.e
to effect, strong in convictions, but
slow to give an . pinion. She needs a
love for scientiil'.' research, and the
ability to apply herself to study. 7r.
Al'ce Stock hnm.
Inlrrrstlna Karl about Ht. I'etrrxbura and
Km People Agriculture and Forestry,
An American correspondent at St.
Petersburg, writes : The Russian capi
tal will surprise all American visitors.
As it has a population of over 7il0A0.
it would bo expected to cover a great
surface, but its wide streets, its mam
moth squares, and numerous central
parks, combine to make it the city of
The public buildings a; d palaces, in
number, architectural beauty, and pro
portion ami fabulous cost, mark it
plainly as the scat of despotic power
which has no modern equal. In many
instances the collonade supports, etc.,
fail to excite admiration or respect, as
they too evidently have no economic
use, and can be regarded only as ex
hibits of a great central power. The
1 12, momdiths nominally supporting
the peristyles of St. Isaac's Cathedral,
are of this charaeter. Kadi support is
seven feet ill diameter and sixty feet
long, on" solid picceof polished granite,
brought hither from Finland. Even
far up, the cupola is in like manner
surrounded by granite pillars of similar
proportions, I happen to think id' St.
Isaac as its musical bells are chiming,
and thousands of people are standing
on the streets bebuv the hotel w indow,
making the sign of the cro;s and bow
ing to the dust as the crowned Bishops
step forth from the morning service
just over. The Greek service at these
great cathedrals is interesting. No
ma:.sive images of the Saviour or saints
are to be seen iis'in the Catholic cathe
drals, but the pictures, mosaics and
bas-reliefs appear at every point of
view, which are the production of the
most famous European artists of the
last century. Thousands of candles
are burning, and the vast audience
make the responses by signs of the
cross and prostrations. Some of the
specially devout kneel down at inter
vals and kiss the stone floor of the
sacred place. While the services are
in no sense instructive, as with us,
they are well calculated to impress the
multitude with a feeling of veneration
for all that pertains to the church.
How well this takes the place of the
philosophic Christian I w ill uot attempt
The people here have a good-natured,
honest expression, and, upon the w hole,
are good-looking, but they are wholly
unlike our Yankee people in character.
Each Yankee is constitutionally a sort
of primary planet around w hich he
expects all things to revolve. Here
the idea of leaders of men and events
has been impressed for ages until it
has become a part f the nationality.
With the peasants this habit was
broken in liberating the serfs too sud
denly. The final consequences are not
easy to foresee.
Agriculture is at a low ebb, and just
now seems to he progressing backward.
A change will come, but in what way
I am not certain, nor would it be best
to speculate. Horticulture, also, is
not what it was fifty years ago. Trees
have been cut dow n, and but relatively
few have been planted. The Imperial
Forestry school over in tho edge of
Finland has now '")0 students, who
seem intelligent and enthusiastic. In
all respects the institution is well
managed and aHy supported by the
(lovcrnnient. The buildings are
larger and better than we have seen
in Kurope. The spei iuien grounds
are on better land than is found this
side, of tho Neva, and contain good
trees of more species than the average
American would expect to find in this
high, and in all respects, trying lati
tude. S.) far the same mistake is being
made that we noticed in Austria and
Prussia. The government plantations
are almost exclusively of Riga pine and
White birch. Russia at present has
no timber for the manufacture of agri
cultural implements, and plantations
of the adi should be started. Our
American White Ash grows fully as
well here as with us.
First Steamship on the Atlantic.
The first steamboat which tutually
crossed the Atlantic ocean was the
Savannah, owned by Mr. Scarborough,
of Savannah, (ia. She was 3."0 tons
burden, and was purchased in New
York, when on the stin ks, and fitted for
the purpose intended. On March 27,
1 1810, she left New York for Savannah
! for a trial trip, which was successfully
made. On the 2'th of May follow ing
she left Savannah for Liverpool, iuid
, reached her destiration in 22 days.
I From Liverpool she went to Copcn
hagen, St. Petersburg, Stockholm and
other ports, having Arundel forSavan
' nah, which she reached in 25 days.
Captain Steven Rogers, of New Lon
don, Conn., commanded the vessel. The
ship was built in New York, and her
engines were made in Klizaleth, N. J.
In 124 the l-.ntcrpriM under Captain
Johnson, inadea voyage to India around
I the Cape of Hood Hope.
CLIPPINGS FOR THE ITRIOl'S '
Roots extend much further than muy
be supposed. Strawberry roots range ,
outward livo feet, onions from six to
nine, and trees send out roots to a
distance often as great as thirty feet.
The cactus magiiuris a Florida plant,
'.lie fibres of whose long, thick leaves
make the strongest cord and rope. Its '
juice furnishes a pleasant but not in
toxical ing beverage. After the plant ;
blooms it dies, and the trunk can then
be deprived of its heart or pith and ;
makes water buckets, pitchers and
other utensils. !
A French writer says that, although
dogs abound in the Egyptian cities,
there is no hydrophobia among them, j
Camels, however, suffer from a form of !
madness at certain times, and bites j
from them during this Mate are ,
dangerous, but the disease is not con- j
A man living at Simmons' Cap, Ya
is living with his ninth wife. The j
patriarch is eighty years old, has fifty- j
three children, and at a recent reunion :
over three hundred of bis descendants j
were present. It is claimed that he j
does not know all of his children, and
makes no effort to keep up with his
The Nltro tunnel, now completed,
discharges :(1,uihi,(UM) gallons hot water
daily from C. linstock mines. This water
has a temperature of l'.'o degrees, and is
conveyed through a closed pine fliiiiipto
prevent, tin" escape of vapor. After .1
passage of four miles through t lie first
tunnel it loses seventy degrees of heat.
A second tunnel, l.K'H feet long. and an
open water way a mile and a half long,
conduct the water to Carson river.
A 1 ng its cou rse are hot - wat r bat hs and
laundries, and a plan is on foot to con
duet the hot water through pipes under
ground, to be made available for pur
poses of irrigation and for supplying
artificial heat to hothouses.
In some parts of Russia the tobacco
plant is looked upon as a deadly foe. The
H;iskoluikscallit the devil's herb, and in
Little Russia tho following legend is
current as toils origin: Certain Little
Russian carriers were in danger of being
led astray by a heathen woman. A
voice from heaven ordered that she
should be put to death. The carriers
obeyed and buried her alive. Her hus
band planted a twig above her remains;
it grew and grew and became a large
leaved plant. As theChristian carriers
and the heathen widower passed that
way, they saw that he broke off some of
the leaves, filled a pipe with them and
smoked it. They followed his example,
and sucked what has since been known
as tobacco. Sodclighted were they that
they went on smoking without ceasing;
until at length the smoke gave way one
day to fire, which burnt them all up.
History or Matches.
The fiftieth anniversary of theinven
tioii of matches by three Austrians was
recently celebrated. Ffty years ago
matches bad only reached the slage
known as "lucifers," and were clumsy
and inconvenient. Fox and Burke
and Dr. Johnson used to light their
candles with Hint and steel, though
practice probably made them more
skillful than wc would be at sudi an
operation. InlYj:aii elaborate appa
ratus called the "ciipyrion" was in com
mon use. This was a large-mouthed
bet tie containing sulphuric acid, soaked
in libroiis ,T-Iest'is, and the matches,
which were about two inches long and
-old for a shilling a box, were tipped
with a chemical combination, of which
ehlora'e of potash was the principal
ingredient. When the end of tho
match wa- dipped into the acid and
rapidly withdraw n, fire was produced,
but the a-id was inconvenient, the
:ii.itIn - w civ likely lobe spoiled by
da'np. and the cupvriou soon went out
of use. I:i 1M2 the first friction
match was made, and it was jokingly
called a lucil't r. Lucifers were sub
stantially the same as our present
mutches, pulled through a piece of sand
paper The ii'ilv change since then has
been altering il from a silent to a noisy
match, ami the invention of the safety
la -co. wvich will ignite only when
rubbed it p"ii chemically prepared paper.
This sifoty match va patented in Eng
land i:i l5ti. There is one match.
:nak:ng linn in Manchester, England,
i hat makes '.uiOO.OOcl matches a day,
.ei l rcv.i.i! linns in London muku
.'.tHMiitXi ami ",ioo,(00 a day each.
I " r-iii the consumption of matches in
France and England it is seen that
i'h'ui 'JMi.O'K'.O k arc made in those two
oiin'ries iu a yiar. In the Vnited
S'a'e aboi-.t 10iii(i(iii(i,oiH) a year aro
m: le, yioli'iir.t, a .. nuelo the govern,
an nt of about $:'.,:."( i.ttm.
t!i ! my poor heart ! My heart is
in akin:;." wailed a Chicago girl, and
yd the doctor who was called in pro
i ivh d l;nic-w:it r, and told her she'd
'.oi'i r b i.ve off eating fried pork for a
1 icw i'.t ...
Sweet Evenings Come and Go.
Swret evenings ooino nnd po, love.
They mine nnd wont of yoro;
This evening of our life, love,
Shall fe'o nnd come no more.
When wo have passed nway, love,
All things will keep their name;
But yet no life on earth, lovo,
With ours will be tho sumo.
The daisies will bo there, love,
The stars iu heaven will uliinoj
I shall not feel thy wish, love,
Nor thou my hand in lliino.
A bettor timo will come, lovo,
Ami better souls bo born;
I would not be the best, lovo,
To leave theo now forlorn.
A tale of the sea The sea serpent's
The latest thing in cradles - The new
A movement on foot -a walking
There is no doubt but a lean man
can enjoy a fat legacy.
The man with a wheel-barrow carries
everything before him.
A number of stock speculators iu
New York are making a biar living.
When a powder magazine blows up,
it an, we suppose, be called Hash
We sneer at tin Siamese for worship
ing the elephant; but think of the
money tba is paid here annually just
to pee it !
Hindoo girls are taught to think of
marriage as soon as they can talk.
American girls are not. They don't
The Long lir.inch hotd-kecper w ho
charged a typhoid fever patient. fl.-KiO
for three weeks" board is now in court
to answer to the charge of robbery.
George Francis Train lives iu New
York at an average expense of $:l.St) per
week for food. Ten years ago his
cigars cost more than that per day.
A Pacific coast, exchange doubts if
any man lives in San Francisco for any
oth'-r purpose than to make enough
money to get away and live somewhere
It is said that a woman was the first
one t o discover 1 h bb it! ing pad. Umi't
believe it. If she had been in a hurry
she'd have blotted the letter on her
It is said that th" dovernor of
Missouri is jealous because ten persons
call upon Frank James to one upon him.
Hasn't the Governor sand enough to rob
It has been fifty years since the paper
commenced to advise people not to
blow the gas out, and yet it is still
practiced enough to keep tho grave
diggers' business lively.
There isn't any written testimony to
prove that William Tell w as ever tailed
upon to shoot an apple off his son's
head. Indeed, at the time of Tell apples
wen.' rarely seen iu Sw iterlaud.
The advance agent of a bad show has
the best time, lie can get out of town
before his company performs. It is tho
manager who must stay and pay
salaries and hear the compliments.
A man fishing around in his pockets
for a nickle to Secure his admission to
a five-cent lunch house, can hardly
realize that the amount of coin in cir
culation in this country is over 7h
(iOO.Oiki. A man must be thirty-live years old
before he i a:i be president of the
United States. This is a great damper
on many young men now in college,
but we all suffer more or less from reck
less h'gislat ion.
The czar of Russia thinks that pro
motion in that country is entirely too
rapid. Although he holds one of the
highest positions in the world, his
loving subjects are anxious to exalt
him still higher with a bomb.
"You don't appear to catch on,"
remarked the post to the gate; "I like
to see a gate well postcd."---I f("l
hingered by your remark," replied thu
gate; "your raillery seems barren of
wit." "That's your staple remark
when you are shut up," answered tins
post; "you never like to see a post
holed his own."
Notice the (Juiet (iirls.
Noisy girls are often very lovable,
' and have their uses, and all quiet girl:i
are not endowed with genius and vir
tues, for some aro simply fools who
would be noisy enough if they could
find anything to say. Hut wo protest
against the habit which prevails of
slighting quiet girls and speaking ill of
; them beforo they have been fairly
tried, and of paying s ekening homago
to the conceit e(l chatterboxes of little
moral sense and principle. "While
noisy damsels will often turn out to bo
gaudy impostors, many quiet ones will
amply repay tho time, trouble and
, love which any one may bestow upon
iTin "tttv Trn