3Fh4 djjhalham ewri.j H. A. LONDON, Jr., j EDITOR AN!) PROPRIETOR. I or ADVERTISING. One square, one Insertion, One q.uare.twii Insertions,, toe square, out-in. .nth, TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION: One mrTt o"' frar, Sino' Oneeopy ni'Miilit ftl One ropy, throe iiimitli., M VOL. V. PITTSB01tt) CHATHAM CO., N. C, DECEMBER 21, 1882 IVr larger advertisement liberal contracts will NO. 15. Endurance. 'Tis bitter to endure the wrong Which evil hands nnd tongue oommit: The buld encroachments of the strong. The shnfts of calumny and wit; The scornful be rrinjj of the proud, The sneers and laughter of the crowd. And harder Mill it is to bear The censure of tho (rood mid wise, Who, ignorant of what yon are, Or blinded liy thu slanderer' lien, Look coldly on. or pass you by Jl 6ilunco, villi averted eye.. 9.lt when tlic- frica ls in whom yon trust, As steadfast us tho iiioii itt it in rock, Fly, nnd aru scaltciud liko thu dust. Before, misfortune's whirlwind shock, Nor love remains to diner youi fall, Tliis in more ten illo than all. But even this, and these aye! more Can be endured, and hope survive,; The nohlo spirit till niny soar. Although the body fail to thrive. Disease nnd want may wear the frnmt, Thank O id! tho soul i still tho earns. ltotd up your head, then, man of nitcf, Nor longer to tlm tempest he nd; Or soon or lato must oomo relinf The coldest, darkest night wiU nJ. Hope in tho true heart never dios' Trust on! the day star yet bhall riso. Conscious of purity nnd worth, Yon may, with ralm nsaurnnco, wnit The tnrdy recompense of earth: And e'en should justice come too late To sooth the spirit's homeward flight, Still Heaven, at last, tho wionjj shall rijlit. BIBBS. There was no doubt about it; John Weare was perfectly wretched I hat night. He quarretcil with Jennie nt ll, and he wasn't going to tnako it up. The fact was sho gave herself: too many airs, and he didn't mean to stand it any longer. He didn't rare if she was pretty; that was no reason why she should let a half dozen fellows at a time hang about tho shop, or stroll in ono at a tinip, and, leaning on her elbows, chatter and smirk and smile over the eounter; cadets and officers, too, wild young fellows, who only did so for their own idle amusement, and would ho more dream of marrying her than they would of inviting her to a ball that was coming off next month. To lie sure, he was only a common cavalry soldier, but then he had been in the service a good many years now, had an excellent character, and a good trade at his back, his father had died nothing since, and there was a cottage all ready for Jennie to walk into, and they might settle down at once if she'd only be sensible. Jennie acted its show woman for her sister, Mrs. Kvans. A very poor little shop it was, very small and badly stocked, for Mrs. Kvans had only managed to get a few pounds' worth of things with what had been subscribed for her at the garrison after the fever had carried off her husband. The speculation answered pretty well at first, for many of the officers' wives, knowing what an industrious woman Mrs. Kvans was, made a point of buy ing their tapes, and cotton, and sticks of sealing-wax of her. Then Jennie's pretty face was seen behind the coun ter, and the shop was tilled from morn ing until night with ofliccrs and frisky young cadets, and the original custom ers took Might though Mrs. Kvans did Dot know it, believing the business was safe in the keeping of Jennie, and she worked hard at dressmaking (she had three children tosupport, and the shop alone would not do it.) The ofliccrs were not profitable cus tomers, for they only went to flirt with Jennie, under the excuse of buying a penny paper, or perhaps asking for a time-table. Jennie made the most trim, and pretty, and obliging of shop-women, and the plaeo itself wits always a pat tern of neatness; but the officers' wives did not care to go and buy thread where they were evidently interrupt ing a flirtation, and so the business continued to fall off, and Mrs. Kvans began to get quite unhappy about it. Jennie --pretty, kind-hearted, thought less Jennie had no idea that she had anything to do with it, or she would have sent every one of her admirers off at a pace that would have astonished them. She had only been too de lighted, after her brother-in-law died, to come from Devonshire and live with her sister at Woolwich not only be cause she was very fond of her sister but also because sho had wished to see John Weare again. She had made his acquaintance when her brother and he for they had been in the same regi ment were stationed at Plymouth, and she had paid them a flying visit with her father. John had told her that he was tired of the service and wished to settle down, and she in wardly thought that he could do no better than to ask her to settle with him. He had been very attentive when she came to Woolwich, and gradually established himself on the footing of n lover, till he found thu shop always filled with officers and cadets. At firt.t he was shy of appearing before his superiors, then he got jealous, and at Ut angry, for he felt and knew that they meant her no good, and, beside.it was doing real injury to the business of the bhop. At last he spoke his mind and told the coquettish Jennie what he thought, and was snubbed for his pains. "If you think I don't know how to take care of myself, Mr. Weare, you an; very much mistaken, and I don't want, any one to tell mo what's right, or wrong. I know for myself." "Well, Miss Jennie, I didn't mean to give offenso. I nly told you what I thojight." "Then you might have kept your thoughts to yourself," she said with a little toss of her pretty head, "unless they hail been nice ones," sho added lit heard the aside and picked up his courage. "It-'s awfully hard, too, when one that, cares really can't get near you," be replied. Just then Jennie caught sight of Captain McGee, a tall and handsome man, with long whiskers and a red nose, coming in the direction of the shop, with a big bunch of Mowers in his hand. She had heard John Wcare's last words, but she was se cretly of the opinion that "he ought to have come to th" scratch before," so she thought that a little jealousy might do him good. "Oh, here comes (.'apt. McGee," sho said, in a delighted tone. "Well, he's just the biggest blackleg in the service, Jennie, and if you take my advice you'll send him off sharp." "I believe you arc jealous, Mr. Weare, and telling stories about the Captain ; he is always very polite to me," and sho smoothed her pretty hair and ar ranged the triiles on the counter. "Oh, he's polite enough, no doubt." "And he's bringing me some Mowers." "Now look here. Jennie, are you go. ing to take them?" "Of course I am." "Well, then, good-by." "Good-by," i.hc laughed. Of course she knew he wouldn't go. "Jennie, ho'il be in directly, and I shall be off, but you must choose be tween him and me. If you are going to keep on talking to him, I shall never, come in the place again, so which is it" to he?" "The Captain." "Hut I am not joking; 1 shall never see you again." "No more am I joking, so good-by. "Good-by"--Mini he went ii He kept resolutely away for a whole month never once went near the place. If Jennie wanted him she might send for him, or get her sister to invite hint to tea, as she had d-ne be fore. Hut John Weare was not sent for, neither was he invited to tea, and his spirits began to wax low. "If she cared about me she'd have got in my way somehow before thi.s trust a woman," he thought. The idea of not being cared for was not cheerful. That night he strolled carelessly by the shop, but on the op posite side of tho way. Nothing was to be seen of Jennie, lie walked on in a brown study, then crossed over ami went deliberately by the shop, with only one eye, however, turned in its direction, but not a sign of Jennie. He went back to the barracks in a dejected frame of mind. "It's an awful pity such a nice girl; and there's the cottage all ready for her to step into, and me ready to retire from the service, and a good trade at my back; it's too bad, all along of that Captain MeGeo, too. And the fruit in tho garden (of the cottage) all ripe, and uo one to pick it." Tho very next morning John Weare walked deliberately into the shop and asked for a penny newspaper, and had the felicity of being served by Mrs. Kvans. "Quite a stranger, Mr. Weare," she said, but that was the only remark she made, and for the life of bim he could not screw up his courage to ask for her sister. That night John Weare was miser able. "She can't care a rush for me," he thought, and marched all over the town and nearly to Greenwich and back in his excitement. The n'.xt "lay was a lucky ono for John. He coo across Bibbs. Bibbs was Mrs. Kvtu't eldest boy. No one knew what his real name was, or why he was called Bibbs; but he was never called anything else. "Bibbs," said John Weare, "come and have some fruit;" and he carried him off in triumph to the cottage and stuff ed him with gooseberries until he couldn't move, M.d black currents un til his mouth was as black as a crow. Then he cariicd him inside and stood bim on the table, and sat down before him. "How old are you. Bibbs?" He thought it better to begin tin conversation with a question. 'Five and a half. Is that your sword up there?" "Yes. Who gave you those bronze shoes, Bibbs?" Now he knew Jennie had given them to him, but he wanted to hear her name. "Auntie. Sho's going away soon," he added. "Let ine look at your sword now ?" "Where is she going to?" ho asked in consternation. "Devonshire-. Do let me try on your sword ?" "Where is she going ?" he asked, with a sick feeling in his heart. "She's ill, I think, and aim's always crying now; one day she was crying over her silver thing you gave her, and kissed it like anything." The 'silver thing" was a littlo heart of about the size of a shilling, which he had bought at Charleton fair last Oc tober, and timidly requested her to ac cept. John Weare jumped up and showed Bibbs his sword, and carried him on his back over the place, and entreated him to have more black currants in his de light. But Bibbs declined. "Aunt Jennie's going to bring mo sonic from Kit ham to-night," he said. So Jennie was going to Kltham, was she. John Weare took Bibbs home, and on his way presented him with a white woolly lamb that moved on wheels and sqeaked, and a monkey that went up a stick on being gently pushed. . "Crying over her silver thing!" said John Weare. "I'll go and hang about the Kltham road till I see her and beg her pardon." And he went, and Jennie met him, and pouted and declared she hadn't once thought of him. and then broke down ami cried. And John begged her pardon, and declared that he had been a heartless brute; and then Jennie contradicted him and said it was all her fault, and told him how Mrs. Dunlob. the colonel's wife, had one day walked in and (n, her. in the kindest possible manner, that she was spoiling her sis ter's business, fur the ladies who had bec.i interested in her welfare kept away I ause. of Jennie's Mirting pro pensities, which tilled titi the sho) with idle oilieers who were always in the way, and how she hail been so ashamed and wretched, ami so cut up at tho do set I inn of John Weare, that she had intended to go back to Devonshire. "But you won't now V" he said, as tlmy leaned over the stile leading to the Kltham fields. "You'll get ready at once, and we'll be married as soon as possible, before the fruit ill the garden is spoilt?" It took her a long time to talk her into it (about three-quarters of an hour), but then she was very happy at heart, and chattered like a young mag pie, mid told John how sho had snub bed Captain McGee, and had thrown all of his Mow ers cut of tho window. "And it was really through that dear Bibbs that you waylaid me to night?" she asked. "Certainly." "Why, but for him I might never have seen you again!" ' Perhaps not." "I'll give Bibbs a regular hag when I get home," she thought. And she did, and the day before sho was mar ried she bought him a rocking-horse, which he delights in to this day. Hi Words, It is never well to use large words when small ones will express the same meaning. A lady who was making a call on some acquaintances observed that the furniture had been changed, and remarked to the lady she had been c.illing on : "You havo been tncUmorphosed ; haven't you?" "Y-e-es," said tho other, hesitat ingly. "You mean calciuiined, I sup pose ; it looks lietter, doesn't it?" Another lady was showing a visitor around her grounds, which were under the care of a landscape gardener, and she inquired of tho friend how she liked the work. "Why, I think," sho said, "that you need symmetry." "Why," said the other, "we don't ex pect to bury anyone here. There is a good cemetery quite near." "What caused your little boy's sick ness ?" asked a plain woman of a mother whose little son was ill. "Ho was climbing a ladder," an swered the lady, "and lost his equi librium." "Poor little fellow !" said the sympa thetic woman, "do buy him another ! he'll be more careful the next time 1" "Did you find the people indigent ?" asked a clergyman of a wealthy mem ber of his church who had been calling on some poor families. "Oh, dear, no," answered the lady, "they were respectable, but as poor as poverty." A French doctor makes a business of curing snoring, and warrants a cure 1 for I2t. THE MOOX AMD THE WEATHER. Home Haperatlllane t'oaccrnlnii Fair l.noa't Inllururc t'roim, i:tc. No belief is more general than that the moon exercises an influence over the weather. People who declare that they are not superstitious in the small est degree, believe that a change In the weather is almost certain to occur with every change in tho ntoun. Perhaps they inherit, the belief, but if not they acquired it very early in life and strengthened it through years of obser vation. Their observations were not very accurate, and their methods of recording them far from methodical. They believe that the weather changes with tho moon, and when a sudden change did occur at the appearance of a new quarter, half or full moon they remembered it and sometimes noted it down. If tho weather did not change at or about the same time the moon did they did not charge their memory with the failure. By means like these they became more strongly convinced of the inMtieneo of the moon oil the weather. Scientific men in different times and in various countries have attempted to overturn the popular ami almost uni versal belief that the moon influenced the weather. They have been at the trouble of keeping an accurate account of the prevalence of winds, the fall of water, the degree of temperature and other phenomena, with a view of show ing whether changes are more likely to occur at one time in the lunar month than at another. They have all come to the conclusion that no coincidence exists between the changes of the moon and those of the weather. At the meeting of the Britisli Association for tho Advancement of Science, this year, Sir William Thomas stated that "care ful observation with the barometer, thermometer and anemometer, at the time of new moon, full moon and half moon, has failed to establish any rela tion whatever between the phases of the moon and the weather," and that 'if there is any dependence of the weather on the phases of the moon, it is only to a degree quite imperceptible to ordinary observation." Still, it is questionable if this announcement will in the lea-t shake the faith of farmers and sailors who, inure than other 'lasses of persons, are directly inter ested in th" weather, in their old ideas about the inMuenee of the moon upon it. They w ill go through life not ex pecting to see a "drought broken" or the cessation of a continuous rain till the moon changes. Neither will their faith be changed in the favorable or unfavorable inllucncu of the moon on certain crops planted at different times i:i the lunar month. They will con tinue tv plant potatoes and other root crops "in the dark on the moon," and to sow small grains "in the light ot the moon." They will slaughter their hogs and their bullocks, if they are intended for home consumption, when the moon is on the increase, so that "the meat w ill not waste away in the frying-pan.'' They will, however, lay up rail fence while the moon is decreasing in size so as to prevent the rails from warping and from rotting out before their time. It may be said that no evil results from believing in a harmless supersti tion. Such, however, is not always the case. Dr. Harper has shown that su perstitious people are very likely to be conquered in war. They w ill not set out on a march or engage in any haz ardous undertaking unless all the signs and omens are favorable. If they place reliance in lucky and unlucky days they will accomplish less in a given t i mo than people, w ho regard all days as of equal value. If they rely on su pernatural aid they w ill not use their best exertions. They will attribute victory or defeat to other than human and natural causes. If such are the effects in a belief in superstitions on a people engaged in war, similar unfa vorable effects would be observed among peoplo engaged in a peaceful pursuit like that of farming. The de lay of two weeks in planting a crop would often result in failure. It is likely that the general belief in certain agricultural superstitions has had much to do with rendering farming unprofit able 11 is generally very dirTIci.lt to discover the origin of a superstition, on account of its great antiquity. Su perstitions beliefs are the oldest we in culcate. They are also among the first we receive in childhood. They ure taught in the nursery g before we learn to read, an-' many years before we begin to study science. Such br liefs are very difficult to dispos. of Our judgment may condemn t iem as follies, but they remair infiuenccour actions. Few persons are willing to acknowledge that they are supersti tions, although they hold to beliefs having no foundation n carefully con idered observations made by them selves or ers. The' hold to the doctrine Hiat relations exist between : ei tain things that cannot be explained with our present knowledge of science. Chicago Timtt. LADIES' DEPARTMENT. KimliioD Notes. Cloth turbans are worn. Black stockings ar" still in favor. coasts of the country ; but inure men Bed is very lashiotuMe for small are employed, and thu catch of whales children. is larger olt theeastern coast, especially Little girls still wear " Mother Hub- off Kii province, bard " froi ks and doaks. The fishermen of thu little town of The round, plain-finished muff u Kozh have a lookout-tower perched varied by the satchel muff, trimmed upon the rocks, far up uii the hill-side, with tasseled silk cords. , A sentinel is kept constantly watching Stockings are now mure fashionable for the spouting hujiri ("number-one finished with clocking of self-color llsh"), as the natives ca!I the whale, than with clocking of contrasting Lung boats, holding from four to ten color. : men, are kept ready launched. These Uough-surfacud ehinu materials in hardy fellows row with tremendous woolen mixtures of many colors are energy, as if in a priu race. If the fancy of the Parisians at the present whale, are numerous, tin1 men wail, in moment. their boats, with ;,-.-.ilis on their pins Many Fanohon and capote bonnets aud straps ready to slip on at a ure trimmed with ruche; of lace and moment's notice, all in order to put out tiny Mowers or loops of ribbon inside to sea. A gay Hag. with a curious do the brim. i-e, floats at each stem. The whale- Black stockings are varied by stock-1 ln,..n iiro divided into scullers, netters, ings of high and strong colors, and by and huipooners, or grappling-iron men. stockings selected to match the colors : Japanese never row, but scull with of costumes. curiously bent, long sweeps, which The leather straps with which some swing on a half-round knob set into a cloth and flanhel suits are fastened and pivot, the handle end being usually trimmed are either of red Bussia or strapped at tho proper height. The, yellow leather. ! device on each flag is different, and ' The Jate.,t caprice is to fasten up the ' spears, nets and grappling irons are front of ilannel and cloth suits with j marked, so that the most skillful get, straps of leather passing through j proper credit for their courage, sore j buckles of the same. j aim and celerity. j Dainty silk stockings, to be worn in j Tho boatmen are lightly clad in ! the dinner toilet, are covered over the I short, sleeveless, cotton jackets, with ; insUp with an embroidered cashmere ; leggings, like greaves, reaching from ' design, -in cashmere colors. j knee to ankle. Around their waists j Kach leading dressmaker of Paris j ar kilts made of coarse rice-straw, j makes dresses according to his or her ' The nets, which are about twenty feet ' own fancy, and, if possible, different ; square, with meshes three feet wide, to all others. Hence the variety in ! are made of tough, sea-grass rope, two styles. j inches thick. Stocking! in plain colors are pre. Twenty or thirty of these nets are i ferred to those in stripes, though Bay- i provided, and then lightly tied together, I adere striping, in several colors, is So as to make one l u re net, from four seen in both imported and American j hundred to six hundred feet long. As i hosiery. I soon as thr signal from the tower is Portieres are now declared as ueees- i given, the boats put nut, two by two, sary in tasteful house-furnishing as each pair of the bir:-r boa's h.ivinji curtains, and, indeed, to a great extent, door-draperies are supplanting wooden doors. Natural plucked beaver is a popular variety of fur for young ladies. Sets of natural pl'p .;eil heaver are in muffs and shoulder-capes, otherwise known as pelerine capes. Elegant mantle ai.l cloaks lined wun quiiici silk are ,.,.,,. , nroeadeu l ,,,d, ready for another silk or velvet. The handsomot of : ,1,-,,,,. should this al-o' be successful, theso wraps are trimmed with rich j the game is soon up with the whale, black lace, while others are bordered j ("snally, the moro hu Motuiders, the with fur- ! more tightly his terrible collars hold Laoo and embroidery are as popular j hill)i (.ntai,gijng his lins and quickly for trimming winter dresses as they ; t.xilausti:ig his strength. No sooner were for summer suits for children, i Me rise for breath than the rowers Dark colored velvet or plush dresses ; dash dose to him, giving the harpoon for littlo girls are ornamented in this ers an opportunity to hurl their darts Wilv- I at his big body, until he looks like an Cashmere grows in favor for simple ; exaggerated pin-cushion. As bis dresses, and is worn in all the subdued ' struggles become we iker, the grap colors, as well as in black. New suits j pling-iruiis are thrown on and the or cashmere arc prettily trimm-d with boats tow the carets near shore, embroidery in silk or chenille, or with Xo land their pnze, the successful bands of plush or velvet. j hunters lash abot t it stout straw- Sealskin is as fashionable as in past ; rop,.Si a. atl;t(.h to them a cable, seasons. The rediugote of sealskin is ' wil,ing the wthl.r t.mJ ari.HIja long and nearly tight-fitting, with j wiu,lIass wn tw Will.h, Then, plain coat sleeves. Sealskin sacques ( wiUl g;V .m,j livt.,v tllt.y haul are even longer than they were, some pnoriIU)U. 111:LSS ...i.,, of thcrn reaching almost to the hem of the dress. Fur-lined garments are losing favor, as tho fur is apt to rub off on the 'othing, and dealers say that many dies are having the fur lining taken ut on this account. The preference for linings this season w ill be either for plush or quilted silk. Dr. Talma- Deacrlbra a (iesd Wataan. You see hundreds of men who are successful only because there is a rea-, vtT-v iMn which ,ho ,aw" of EnS,ish son at home why they are successful. 1,11,1 American society positively pro If a man marry a good, honest soul he ! 1,iblt' sa-vs a Sax,,,,-V ' makes his fortune ; if hemarrv a fool. ' t,ie Vhic:W 'W' 1,1,1 11 is """' the Lord help him. The wife 'mav be 1 wmh what etiquette is a silent partner in the firm. There may be only masculine voices down on the exchange, but there often comes from the home circle a potential and e.lv.itinfr inMuenee. The woman nf Sh.innn.at whose house the prophet Elisha stopped, was a great woman and the Minerior of her husband. Tie. as far as I can understand, was what wo often find In our day, a man of large fortune and only a modicum of brains, intensely quiet, sitting a long while in the same place w ithout moving hand or foot ; if you say yes resp.mding yes ; if you say no responding no ; inane, eyes half shut, mouth w idc open, maintain- imr Iiim iiositirm in socictv onlv lieennse lie has a large patri.uonv. ilis wife belonged to that class of people who need no name to distinguish them, no title of princess or queen. She was great in. her hospitality. Jupiter has the surname of "The Hospitable," and he was said to avenge the wrongs of strangers. Homer extolled h .spitalitv in his versa. The Arabs were punctii- ious about it. mv- To save a dollar is the easiest thing in the world. Don't spen'', it. The Whale Hunters of Japan. The whale fishery of Japan is car ried on us a regular business on both- lh ml t.iekle, and all armed with darts a id spears, liowing in front of the whale, the net is dropped in his path. If r-killluliy done, the hug - tMi runs his noun or jaw into a inc-di. 1 1 at once dives, and tries to shake off th net. This he cannot do. for the Mpturc in which he i-entangled immediately breaks off from the rest, which is The whale is now cut up into chunks. Its tidbits go on the fisherman's grid iron, or are pickled, boiled, roasted or fried. St. Xirholas. Where Smoking Is Always Allowed. Tr in itri4nrit that u tteonln to mtii. : , , ... , ,, 1 puloiislv polite and so thoroughly con- j , . . . nillVpm(mf ,' iron hand of etiquette should not only tolerate but encourage seine of the and is not. In Saxonv it is not impo lite to smoke in the society of ladies not any more than it is to carry a cane or wear a watch. Smoking is allow ed in manv of the first-class theatres; pn,ok,n ,s a"T first part of th fashionable concerts, Smoking is allowed at the dinner table in the fashionable cafes and clubs. The Saxon ladies are accustomed to tobacco smoke and pay no attention to it. It is not polite to smoke in a private house until you are invited to do so, but the invitation comes along as naturally as the request, that you be seated on a chair or sofa. At the evening receptions and parties no "k'K U '-'.'-that is. not in the rmans. but there is a smoking HmU'r or a vcrr.nda or balcony close l'.v- tl,e Stl'i 'u go out and puff to their heart's content, m i A I"" !' constructed . from lhe Coul,;m oil u'rr'p- "VlT u"' Mountains, to Novofos.isk harbor, on the Black sea cast, has been opened. This line of pipe, which is 105 miles long, can deliver every day l,000,t)00 po ids of petroleum. We Scatter Seeds. We scatter weds wilh careless hand, And dream we ne'er hIiu.II see them moro Hut for a thousand yean, Their fruit appenis, 111 weeds thai III': laud, Or healthful stor. The deeds we do, the words we say, Into still air the) .'cem to fleet ; We count them past. Hut they shall last In the dread judgment il.c-y And we Jiall nir.'t, I eharp' tiiee ti- the years y.ino by, Fur the love of brethren dear, Keep, then, the one true way In work and play, Ia'A in the world Ihuir cry Of wot thou hear. PUNGENT PA I.' AG JM PHS. How to live long -Never be short. Anything but a pleasant trip Fall ing over a sidewalk obstruction. Girls are more courageous then men. Tiny are reaiv to make a match with a fellow twice their size. The False Prophet, who is disturb ing Kgypt, is the old niati who know how the election would go. There is an Kast Indian lady in Paris who can talk in twelve languages. Fortunately .she is not manic 1. Herbert, spencer's version of the popular phrase, "Givetw a rest:" It if t ime to preach t he gi is pel of rda.xat ion.' "I aim to tell the truth." "Yes," interrupted an acquaintance, "and you are probably the woist shot in Amer ica." An exchange says. "There will be no pronounced loud styles this winter.' Don't you believe it. The style ui snoring will he just as loud as ever. A Western wit tells what he would do if he were a jackass. A rival re marks tied w hat people desire to know is, wh:V. h" would do if he wasn't one "May I hope" was on the loenge that hr. hmd.-l to h r. and when shf crossed i. in the -1" and "e" and wrote " -. y. u" l'.-1'ore !! May," he used both leg-.. T.oy. I'll teach you to fear youi pants," an ir;d" Austin parent swinging a strap, "I'll teach you.'' "Don't hit in.-, pa. I know how already. .1 H.--1 lool. at '( III." "Miss r.r.iw n, I've been to learn how to te'd fort une-," siii) a young fellow to a bri:k brunette. -.Ins: ),( u,,. have your hand, if you plea- -." "I..i, Mr. White, how sudden yoll are! Well, go and ask papa." Concerning the ins-mo llochester girl, w ho gets out of bed at midnight and goes to work saw ing wood in the back yard, it is said that her father deeply deplores her insanity. l.u:t alw ays leaves the wuod-j ile handy fur her to get at. A reporter interviewed a prize fat woman, whoso weight is 7J'J pounds. When asked, -Do o i still claim to be the largest fat woman in the world?' she frigidly replied: -l'v use me, sir' but I do not re vgnh e the title. 1 aiu said to be- the largest lady on exhibi tion." A bright little girl n -tiling among the company at her father's residence eat a certain occasion, a gentleman whose face was s-. nsiderahly pock marked, seemed niueh struck with his appearance, and after the company re tired inquir.-d who the "moth-eaten gentleman" was. "Tin-re is a young man in the parlor ishes to see you, miss." remarked the hall door attendant. "Did he bring anything with him; any box or par cel?" "Only a cane, miss." "Did his coat tails rattle when he walked as if there was a package of candy in his pocket ?" "Nothing of the sort, miss.' "Then tell bim F.e gone to visit a sick friend and w on't be home for a week," returned the fair girl, falling back into a horizontal position and resuming hot perusal of "Truth Stranger than l'i tioii ; or. The Liar I'limiLsked." A Doctor's Substitute. He w as a yo -ng man with a wild, disordered look. lie rushed into the oflice of a prominent city physician yes terday, placed a small cup on the desk, took off his coat, bared his right arm, and whispered : "Stick me!" Do yon want " be bled?"' " I do ! ( pcn a v in, and let mr catch the lil I in this cup," " Too full in the bead?" ' Alas ! too full in the heart. Mi atliaiiced w ill not believe me when I t-H her that I love her better than my life. I will write my love I will write it in my own life-blood ! Pro ceed !" " Is that all you want?" " All! Is not that sufficient ?'' " Veiling, man ni are a dodo ! Put on your coat. 1 keep a red ink here for the very purpose you desire, and I will sell you a wind..- ill for a quar ter." And the young man was not stuck.--Dttruit I'ne J'rtss.

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