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VOL; X.
HTTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, DECEMBER 15, 1887.
. . . wU- thfr tiiOtithA
NO. 15.
1 r a T ""r A T
ylAyAy' Ay
jj yw vv vy
Smiles and Tears.
y v 1-t i cast with those who tread
Tho humbler walks of life; with feet
Tlmt ot'l nrowenry -egging bread
Mistered with the dust and heat
.Mid all the story of my years
1 hut a tale of smiles ml tears.
J j., , W earth's most favoml king;
riK r f the land and sea;
'l -j,,. v. in.! of every clime may bring
trii'ii'e of r'pect to me
Vi : .-ill t' tory of my years
I-) ;t ; ; of Miiiles and tears,
j, ,.,1V ! - ..: my life hath wrought
til- m .ty truth from chaos, when
'ill' :y a':i'k and no one sought
To i-'.itvr v harden' d hearts of mcu.
St.!!. all t!; ' -a ry of my j-ears
N .iit a t;i'' smiles and tears.
I iti : . ? I' not what rank 1 hold
. ..:.t::e sons of toil and strife,
f : v h ;l;or young or whether old,
1 iv.-ih the goal of mortal life,
I'.'i" :11 tl;e story of my years
!- ;ivo a tale of smiles and tears.
1' r t!ie stories of my years
.iv l tlte tales of smiles and tears.
Morris H. Turk.
A Romance of the Bail,
t,i;!,;i;ip;: n:i.oiT Thompson.
I: was en the Pan Handle railroad J
i:; i:t;;:u-y, liV-, and the train was rua-!.;;,-
from Cincinnati to Chicago. I got
0 hoard at Newcastle. Ind. Entering
a car ia th;? middle of the train I seated
L'.vc!f ahoi:t a third way down on the
li.ht aud was ooii bu;y studying the
1 ..-. ' - r-i. Pre-enMy my mind was
y.trri' -d by a little girl, apparently
uk-ut t!il;t year of age, who sat in the
. . Ir. 'r-:i: of me. Beside her sat a
u'it'.'. eemi:i:jy 00 years of age,
: -v iLu'.. laughing eyes aud a sweet
..) vuce. These points I noted
: r.:i:r.it jd conversation with the
!. who was evidently her sister.
C: r. .'.h little girl, had one of
tli"" vy tik-graphic tickers,"' and
was having a high time
ni:h it, regardless of the ominous
1 k and frowns of an old
r.'id. who sat a few seats front, on the
' n r sMt A she continue I her sport.
a'.t'.:T',tely ticking her machine, then
. i"i:!y darting to an unoccupied scr.t
:i .d ingratiating herself into the good
Lt'ic-.o of tlic being who might be
v..ving 'Ik: other end. she became
jiitt'wU acquainted, dining the long
tii: with the whole car, the aforesaid
' maid excepted.
D iVHtii the come of her manderinc
jiied a v.!..ai!f seat in t lie rear cftlie
:: hc ornpicd and ih-w to it, ticker
::: !;t:;i. The other occupant of the
v. :i a youn' man win Iiad been
: : -te lly watcliing the frolics of the
h' !;;. darling, ml lie immediately
h'-iv: n coaver it ion with her, which
r ! in his obtaining possession of
t'.o ti-kff.
V: t ti.-kor or. the sill, that it
i.'.ii more closely resemble a true
U'iegrapii m-sfhiao. he began to form
lh" k-Tt-r of t!,e r..habet. As the
s"!;:i I Mi r.a my r irs, I noticed with
-:rjvNi.' That the attention ()f the younsr
:y front of b.Uv. was also cen
tr 1 .n! :-o lured by th ?
1 i;-t-:i"d.
'.veryb..-.iy
I t"r-:!:i.f-
fll'i'V ooi'd I help
l-- iv I it.) and by and
W! !.). r- )r-fi;llv cmcIIi ,1
' fr irn -d a sciitence,
It was
''i i .g h,:!!.-:" What could he mean
y Unti lb-l t;jwara tln voun;,
1 1 1 v : ""l '-I li -r hl i;) allir.ni
"f te!e.'r.ipn;l ,,tiery. Cml.l
!' h: was talking with h'r? Sion,
, ':!;'-';,-?5 f th--j mar liinc, carelessly
)' - time. n:oiaivn!lv to miJpnd
ho wei-j able to undrdand, "Is
! t' sanu as ever?' another
I'- ::rit be. Ho was talking to
V, f-ouM I do? It was wrong
i ; '!i" ''avesdropper, but if people
,it loud in your presence, are
'y.n t ! ' un-j for hearing?
It a -,,n rijiparcnt that the young
you ig laly and myself were
'... ones in the cars who un
'f'''l iho mystic signs of
ti( '!r trie wire and, swallowing my
"si lay back and prepared to listen.
ih'-' - iversation consisted of just such
t:t k u niiyht piss between acquaint-
" -"h ' had not met for about six
!:""Mj !thoiigh it was confined mostly
1 -iui, it- her sliarc consisted of guard
" ' ; - shakes of the head. He
v 1 1 i lir ho.'dth; her family's, and
IU V on a matter which the
I ;i " '" ild not well fathom, but, from
' ' ' ' f the. lady's fuco and her im
' ' ' 11 ''k judged it was unpleasant,
;l flisagrceable. Then he
'd' ''.v K legraphing: "I must get
1 ' ' tliis is my home."
' l-"irn p t ! ' tho brakeman shouted,
young man disappeared.
- soon as the train was under way
Carrie began ag iin her wandcr-
''"'I this time seated herself bc
iJeini? fond of rhilrlr T
' K,,l with her on one subject and
,1, r, whcn it occurred to me tohavc
j' fun with the ticker. Procuring
' 'jf 'li; little one, I asked:
ywt know how to telegraph?"
sir."
'.Uld y0u lik(J tQ uk ft ,eM0nr,
,"s,sir: lister has tried to teach
' 1 rn t learn, somehow "
.N
tv'-'t'i- le, I began the lesson. I
first made a, then b, then c, then spelt
"C-a-r-r-i-e," telling her n3 I went along
what letters I was making. So en
grossed was I that I did not notice a
pair of lustrous gray eyes and flaming
cheeks over in the seat in front, until I
heard a voice of silvery sweetness say:
"Excuse me, please, sir, but do you
understand the telegraph?"
"I believe I am sufficient ly acquainted
to enable me to understand it in ordi
nary me."
Blushing profusely, she again said:
"I hope you will excuse my unman
nerly way of addressing a stranger, but
will you tell me did you doyouknow
what passed between us?"
' I cmld not help but hear," I replied,
"but I nsmre you it is safe with me."
She looked at me searchingly and did
not seem at case.
Presently she turned herself back and
seemed for a time absorbed in thought,
while I continued playing with Carrie,
although I ceased from the further ma
nipulation of the ticker. Carrie, after a
while, left my side and left me alone
with my thoughts.
"I wonder," I cogitated, "what's in the
wind! She seems very nervous and dis
pleased that I overheard their conversa
tion. Such a pretty girl, too, I wonder
if no, I'll ask her;" and leaning for
ward I said, as gently as I cou'd,
"I hope, miss, that my unintentional
and unavoidable listening causes you no
displeasure, if I, a stranger, may be per
mitted so to speak."
She turned abruptly.
"May I ask your name ?" she queried.
"With the greatest pleasure," and I
handed her my card.
She looked at the card for some sec
onds, evidently bringing her mind to a
conclusion regarding something, then
turning to me, said:
"Mr. Williams,' somehow I feel well
acquainted already with you. There is
a something which pro.npts me to think
you arc my friend and that I slnll need
your services. I fully appreciate how
widely I depart from the customs of so
ciety in thus talking with one whom I
never met before, but the ice is broken,
and I am about to seek a great favor at
your hands. Arc you going to Chicago? '
"I am," I replied, growing interested
each moment, "and shall be delighted to
be of service to you.''
"I should be much pleased to have
you c all at my father's house at your
earliest convenience.
I was bewildered, but as the train
was rearing the end of the route I phil
osophically accepted the situation,
thanked my good luck and agreed to
call at three tho next day. So the
adieus were spoken at the station and
we separated.
P;omptly at the appointed time I was
at the house of the young lady, and dur
ing the few moments I had to wait for
her appearanc e, as she had jasl come in
from a drive. I was speculating as to
what the- "great favor' she had men
tioned was. So absorbed was 1 in build
ing situations in which I was the hero
rescuing a persecuted girl that I did not
see her enter the room, nor was I aware'
of her presence till a light hand on my
shoulder caused me to look upon as
sweet a face as it over had been my lot
to see. I stoo l spcU bmnd and could
not even utter the convcatioml civili
ties necessary to tin occasion.
Perceiving my con! u don she merrily
remarked, "Well, 1 am surprised, real
ly. I always thou hl reporters were
never cmbarras c "1."
"I sincerely beg your pardon," I re
plied, "t ut I must confess that your
presence is so comp'ctc a surprise and
the errand for which I sun summoned is
so new an experience that I must really
plead a lak of that control of myself
that never before deserted me. Such
a sudden vidon of loveii- -"
"Pardon me if I interrupt you," she
said. "Are you Hire you were not
about to use a stereotyped phrase of
your profession b?i there, I am very
ungenerous in ehs.fling you this way,
but you know, a woman gloric s in an
opportunity lo make a man fed uncom
fortable, that is, when she feels certain
she can set it all right again. Besides,
I am in my stronghold, as it were, and
I could scream real hard if you got mad."
I bit my lips. Who wai this woman?
Her making fuu of me in this
intelligent, self-reliant way showed
me that I was talking with
a practical, self-possessed child
of fortune, and she spoke in a
manner so full of fun, and the merry
twinkle in her eye iud cited so strongly
the entire absence of any deliberate idea
of offending that it won from me only
the highest esteem "but," I said to
myself, "if she wrere only a man."
"Now," said she, as if divining my
thoughts, "I hope I have not provoked
you, but let us come to business. You
remember I Faid I had a favor to
ask of you. You heard what passed
between that gentleman and myself.
I call him "gentleman" because it is
polite to do so. lie is my persecutor.
Some two or three years ago, being
desirous of knowing something or being
proficient in some art or trade that
might be of benefit to me if misfortune
befell my father's household, I studied
telegraphy, and, although my falh.r
was not in favor of it, I accepted a posi
tion as operator at a station on the Pan
Handle road. This "gentleman" was
the operator at Logansport, where he left
the train. I had to send nearly all
my work through lm office. As the
work of the office was pretty heavy, my
signature appeared pretty frequently
there, and he was not long in finding
out that the operator at B was not a
man. After that discovery he suddenly
found out that a good many things in
my office were not nice enough for a
lady. One day a lot of pot-plants came
down, these were followed by knick
knacks, odds and ends to fix up with,
and in stormy weather he would run
down and insist that my instruments
needed adjusting. What could I do?
I could not very well "say that I did not
want these things, or his help, for he
gave m to understand he was acting
under orders from headquarters, al
though my wire never revealed any such
instructions; but his manuer was so ob
trusive, he was so important in his bear
ing, that instead of respecting him as I
-vas first inclined to do, he became very
distasteful to me, and I could not bear
his presence. It took, of course, a long
time for things to develop to this ex
tent, but it finally culminated two
months ago in my 'throwing up
my key,' as they say among the oper
ators. Instead of taking the hint, as it
fcemcd to me it was very evident he
should do, he has followed me so per
sistently that I told Charlie of it and he
has sworn that if he meets him he will
shoot him. Charlie is so quick-tempered,
but true-hearted, that I am sure
he will keep his word. Now, what I
want you to do is to help me to make
this man desist, for Charlie will surely
do something that will bring our family
name into notoriety if he ever sees him.
Will you help me.'"
She had spoken so earnestly, so openly,
so free from affectation, that, as shepro
cec led, she held me spell-bound, until
she mentioned "Charlie," when a queer
feeling ran over me and I was even more
at a loss for something to say than when
she first entered the room.
Charlie 1 Who was Charlie?
Was he her lover ? Did
she think tint I was there solely
to serve her, regardless of others? my
blood almost run cold when I realized
that I had come on an errand of help to
her. I had indicated by my presence
that I was willing to do her bid ling
and that the idea of "playing second
fiddle" was neither here nor there. I
swallowed the lump in my throat and
huskily replied:
"Miss Hilliard, it will be a great
pleasure to me to be of the slightest ser
vice to you. Name the task and I will
help you if I can. First, give me the
name of this offensive party and I will
proceed to the best of my ability."
What an effort it was to say that !
There was "Charlie" still ringing in my
cars and, to my horror, she burst forth:
"Oh, I am so glad ! I know you can
help me. You newspaper men have
such a f; culty for digging out scrapes
and Charlie won't have anythi'g
to do with it. How I would
hate to have him do anything rash.
I love him so, that it would
break my heart to see his temper lead
him to an extreme in this matter, for he
thinks the world of me."
There was "Charlie'' again! He
thought the worl 1 of her. She evidently
wanted someone else to lil her of her
unpleasant follower, so that Charlies
fingers might not be soiled by the affair
Well, I mfnt keip my word to her any
way; but I left that house in a far dif
ferent frame of mind than when I
entered it.
"Confound
ticker."
Once in my
over the case.
that voung one aud her
room 1 began to think
The unpleasant fellow's
name was Charles II. Blockley. I had
met him several times but had no par
ticular connection with him, save on
one occasion when I had been as
signed to "writ? up" an affair in
Logansport. I had occasion to
use the wire considerably at
the office wherein Blockley presided,
and talked considerably with him in a
business way. As I ransacked my brain
in the matter I recollected that this
same operator was mixed up in a little
defalcation in that same office; that the
affair had been hushed up; that he had
been allowed to remain in his position,
which was quite a lucrative one, by the
clemency of hii "super," who consid
ered him an expert operator.
"Now," I thought, "here is a point to
work on; but, plague take it all, what
pleasure is there now in working for
her, when it is only to rid her of an
obstacle to her complete enjoyment of
the society of another. Confound the
ticker, con'ound Charlie, confound
I stopped,
the best of
If my temper was getting
me why could I blame
Charlie?
I had promised, and I must do it, but
I assured myself that in the next affair
of the kind I would know what I was
working for, before I promised.
Next day I went to Logansport and
called on Blockley. Inviting him to a
private conversation, I said abruptly
and significantly:
"You remember that little affair ol
yours heic, about eight months ago?"
Blockley started, felt he wa? power
less, hesitated, aud then nodded affirm
atively.
"Then let me tell you something
Mist Hilliard is tired of your attentions,
wants them discontinued. As I am a
near friend of hers, I am in a position
to demand a cessation of your persecu
tion of her if you persist, I will venti
late a few facts, then your
name will have enough con
nected with it to forever prohibit
your hoping to wia her hand or for
tune." I emphasized "fortune," and Block
ley understood. I then handed him mj
card with the remark : "
"You can judge for yourself whether
I can keep my word or not."
Blockley had said nothing up to thh j
time. IIj saw his gams was up and
simply asked :
"What do you propose to do?"
"Nothing, if you leave her alone;
then you will be left alone. If you
bother her, you will be bother jd. So
that's enough."
"I understand."
The job was done.
I hurried back to Mis Hilliard'
house. I was anxious to get the affiir
off my hands. This "Charlie" was my
nightmare. I could not think of hei
but what this "Charlie" was by her si lc.
It was Charlie, no doubt, who was cn-
joying hei company while I was engaged j
in the unp'.casant task of suppressing his
rival. And Charlie "worshipped" her. I
Well, I would soon have it finished and
then I could forget, after a while, that
I had ever seen her.
I slowly ascended the steps of hei
house about a week following my first
visit. I was shown to the same room
and the same chair. The same thoughts
were in my mind wdien she entered the
room again. How lovely she was. Who
could blame Charlie for worshipping
her? Charlie was likely to have her
love. I only wished I were Chirlie;
that's all.
"Miss Hilliard, it gives mo pleasure to
inform you that Mr. Blockley will, in
all human probability, never trouble you
again."
I know my tone was melancholy, for
a sudden thought pale I her face.
"You have not killed him?" she ex
claimed, in a startled tone.
I smiled. Her frankness dispelled my
previous thoughts. Killed himi What
a transition it would be for a murderer,
with blood on his hands, to be standing
without the menace of the law over his
heal, talking to one of the loveliest of
women. Killed him! How I wanted
to laugh, but I simply replied,
"Not quite so bad as that, I hope,"
and th:;n proceeded to relate the affair
as it had been arranged.
"How can I ever thankyou," she asked.
"You do not know what a load you have
lifted off my mind. What can I do to
repay you?"
"The fact that you and Charlie may
blend your lives peacefully together and
that I have been an instrument toward
that end will amply repay me," I replied.
"Allow me to congratulate Charlie."
"Congratulate Charlie for what? Foi
being my brother? Hj who would give
his life for me (and I the same for him)
will think you mod sincerely for this
service to me. Charlie is my brother,
and a good, noble brother he is too."
Her brother! Her brother! Had
I been spending my veaom on
tho 1 rot her of an angel? If 1
had been embarrassed on my first visit
I was doubly so now. J stammered,
tried to say something, stopped, started
again and finally stopped entirely. SI13
saw my confusion aud cam-j to my help.
"Mr. William's, you are a welcome
guest at this house whenever you may
choose to call."
Blessed words ! Did I ever chooseto
call? It was not many moons before
Miss Hilliard became Mrs. Williams, and
one of the little toys we delight to spend
a little wdiiie with now and then is a
telegraph "ticker."
Babies in Japan.
The babies are strapped to the backs
of their mothers an I sisters scarcely
larger than themselves. One often sees
a dozen or tw. boy and girls under 10
at all sorts of play, one-half of them
having bvbic3 on their backs, often
times when the little nursjs are playing
regular romps, the little ones sound
asleep, their heads hanging down and
flopping from side to side as if their
little necks would break. Here in front
of this hotel, when the tids was out,
I saw hundreds early one morning seek
ing mussels, mosses, and S3aecd. Lit
tle fellows not over 10 are seen
gathering shellfish, with babies fastened
to them. When they would stoop on
hands and knees the baby would
almost stand on its head. I can say I
have seen hundreds of those and have
as yet heard but three babies crying.
Little ones of two and three sometimes
have dolls strapped to them. Not once
have I seen a doll in the arms. Gnicago
Mail.
A Sudden Change"-of Mind.
Bobby: "Ma, can I stay home from
school to-day?"
Mother: "Yes, Bobby, your father
wants you to help him put up the parlor
stove ."
Bobby: "Well, ma, why can't I go
to school?'' I Epoch. .
CHILDREN'S COLUMN.
The Learned E qui man.
There is a certain Esquimau
Who much of knowledge knows,
One day he found, with grief, and pain
He'd frozen off his toes.
What did this knowing Esquimau
Who had the learned brain?
He bound them to his feet, of course,
And froze them on again.
Harper's Young People.
Baby Elephants.
IIow the young elephants, in the large
herds, escape from being crushed, is
something of a mystery, asiljey are
almost continually in motion; but when
a herd is alarmed, the young almost im
mediately disappear. A close observer
would see that each baby was trotting
along directly beneath it3 mother, some
times between her fore lesrs.
On the march, when a little elephant
is born in a herd, they stop a dvy or two
to allow it time to exercise its little
limbs and gain strength, and then they
press on, the mothers and"babies in
front, the old tuskers following in the
rear, but ready to rush forward at the
first alarm. When rocky or hilly places
are reached, the little oie arc helped
up by the mother, who push them from
behind and in various w iys; but when
a river his to be ford.-d or swam, a com
ical sight ensues.
The stream may be very rapid and
rough, a? the Indian rivers often are
after a rain, and at such a place the
babies would hardly be able to keep up
with the rest; so the m )thers and fathers
help them. At first all plunge boldly in
both young and old and when the
old elcphmt3 reach deep water, where
they have to swim, the young scramble
upon thir backs an I sit astride, some
times two being sem in this position.
But the very yni ig elephants often re
quire a little mre cire and attention, so
they are held either upon the tusks of the
father or grasped in the truuk of the
mother, and held over or just at the sur
face of thi water. Sich a sight is a
curious one, to say the least the great
elephants almost hidden beneath the
water, here and there a young one seem
ingly walking on the water, resting upon
a submerged back, or held aloft while
the dark waters roar below. St.
Nicholas.
S'n?in Ills Way.
Ycirs a,'o one Joseph Bishop used to
ferry p?rsms across the Cumberland
river near II irtville. He was often ir
ritated by persons who, when ferried
across, would either tell him they had
no money, or offer him a piece of mon
ey which he could not change. Tired
of this treatment, he determined that
every passen ger shril I pay something.
One day a man approached the ferry,
whistling a lively tune. As he met Mr.
Bishon he said, "Mr. Ferryman, I wish
to cross the river but I hwe no money."
"Can you sing?" asked Bishop.
"I can sing a little," answered the
stranger.
" I am very fond of singing," said the
ferryman, "and if you will sing all the
way across the river, I will ferry you
over for nothing."
"Agreed," replied the man, aud he
began singing as Bishop pushed off.
The ferryman rowed leisurely, and when
the passenger finished his song he stop
ped singing. Bishop's oars dropped
from his hands.
"I just stopped to get my breath,"
said tlu vocalist.
"And I just stopped to rest my
hands," answered the ferryman.
Another song was raised, and Bishop
worked with the oars. When the see
on 1 song ended, the oars ceased moving.
The man began a third song, and the
oars moved leisurely.
" I am tired," said the man.
"Let us rest awhile," answered tin
ferryman, and the boat floated down the
stream.
The passenger sang a fourth song and
Bishop rowed. When the man sung, he
pulled; when the music gave out the
ferryman's muscles relaxed. The man
sung jigs and reels, and a3 the boat
touched the shore, he jumped to land,
exclaiming, "That ferriage cost me
much breath!'
"It is the longest voyage I ever made
across the Cumberland," said Bishop.
"I'll bring the money with me next
time," said the man.
"Dj!" answered Bishop, "or anew
set of tunes." Youth's Companion.
A Deer Conquers a Bear.
That peacefully disposed young bear
which Thomas Strong presented to the
city is kept chained in the deer paddock
at the city park. The other day it
broke its chain and started in to have a
venison dinner. It ran after the deer
till tjic young buck turned on it and
coiffbcd . its fur with his horns and
f&ickcd it on the snout and made tho
blood run, and finally the bear imitated
Zaccheus and climbed a tree, while the
buck stood guard at the bottom with
fire in his eyes and frothing at the mouth
with rage. The brief association of
that bear with the colony at Metlakahtla
it seems did not eradicate all the savage
nature of the brute. But it will prob
ably wait till it is bigger before it tries
to eat that buck again. Portland Ore-gonian.
A DAILY PARADE.
Government Employes Quitting
Work in Washington.
The Curious Spectacle Present
ed at the Hour of Four.
There are some queer sights about the
Government departments daily when
the hour of 4 arrives and the 10,000 of
Uncle Sam's servants turn out on dress
parade, writes a Washington correspon
dent. You do not get so good a view
of them in the morning as they go in,
for they are more scattered then. The
timid ones begin to come along nearly
half an hour before time to begin work
in the moruinsr. and they straggle in
until after nine o'clock. But at night
there is no straggling. They are
promptly on time, and when the hand
points to 4 they mike a bee line for the
door. By half -pis t three to a quarter
of four work is laid asi le and prepara
tions arc made for lightning disappear
anca when the nnaieat for disappear
ance comes.
The scenes outside the buildings are
as curious as those within. By 3.45 you
see in front of cvry building a number
of vehicles of varied description wait
ing. Some are handsome, styli-:h in
fact, driven by fine teams and liveried
drivers. They are the carriages of the
heads of the departments or their assist
ants. They are, most of them government
turnouts. Then there is another class
of carriages; smaller, less expensive and
less stylish. Yet they are more attrac
tive to the average person, for they are
often driven by a handsome lady, the
wife or sister or daughter of the clerk
for whom each is waiting. There is
another and more tonchiag sight. It is
another class of waiting people. They
are on foot; women and children who
have come to greet "father" and escort
him home.
They are a curious study as they pour
out by the thousands and scatter
through the streets. That stately look
ing individual who walks to the carriage
in a dignified way, as though he were
afraid of breaking, is cither a head of
department or assistant.. See how def er-
LcouaUy the clerks bear themselves tow
ard him. If they are as fortunate as to
catch his eye they doff their hits with a
vigor qiutc surprising in its comparison
with the energy exhibited at the de3k
by this same individual. That individ
ual who prcc.des the secretary, open
ing doors and bowing obsequiously as
he enters the carriage, and the door is
closed behind him, is the "messenger '
at his office. He blacks his master's
boots, brushes his clothes, brings him his
lunch from the restaurant in the build
ing, and jumps to help him on with his
overcoat when he sees him ready to start
out.
That other dignifi;d person, who
tarries a bouquet in hi. hand, is uot the
head of the department. He 13
$i division chief or head of a bureau. He
feels just as good over it, however, as the
head of the department feels in his
place. He is the recipient of as much
attention in his way from his owu sub-'
animates as the secret iry gets, and en
joys it more. That bouquet which he is
sarrying horn; to his wife or somebody
else was placed -on his desk by some of
his subordinates who hoped to make
(heir $100 a month j b m )re seeurc by
it. And thit clegait "shine" was
placed on his boot by a go ltleman with
timiliar ambitions regarding his $00 a
month job. The giver of the bouqu d is
probably followiug along in easy dis
tance hugghg himsc'f wiih a secret de
light at having mile a new point in his
efforts to mike hi:n;elf "solid with the
old man."
The procession as it comes out is a
curious mixture. Pretty young girls,
with rosy checks and shining eyes;
plump and pleading widows, whose eyes
are as active as those of their younger
sisters; lean old maids who arc hurrying
home to their cats and parrots ; young
dapper men with dude collars and canes,
who make eyes at ' the pretty girls a3
they go by; smirking old widowers, who
are trying to catch the eye of some
plump wd low; rummy and seedy old
sinners, whose rum-blossomed noses and
unsteady steps tell very well what is the
matter with them.
There arc some touching sights, too.
The sriiile on the face of the man in
threadbare but well-brushed clothes,
when he sees the faces of a group of
children waiting for him, the empty
sleeve, the crutch, the wooden legs
which poorly support the worn out old
soldier; the pretty girl on crutches,
whom everybody pities for her mis
fortune; the lunch basket, the hollow
cough and wasted cheek of men and
women slowly dying from disease con
tracted by long hours in close rooms.
A Sagacious Clerk.
"I am tircu ot tne struggle oi jmc,
said a melancholy merchant to his clerk.
"Tired of life! '
"Yes, it will be a sweet relief when
my time comes to sink in obscurity and
oblivion.
"Why don't you take your ad. out of
the papers right away?" asked the clerk
sympathetically, Merchant Traveler.
The Ship.
A king, a pope, and a kaiser,
And a queen most fair was sho
Went sailing, sailing, sailing,
Over a sunny sea.
And amid them sat a beggar.
A churl of low degree;
And they all went sailing, sailing,
Over the sunny sea.
A nd the king said to the kaiser
And his comrades fair and free,
"Lot us turn adrift this beggar,
Th's churl of low degree ;
For he taints the balmy odors
That blow to you and me,
As we travel, sailing, sailing,
Over the sunny sea."
"The ship is mine," said t he beggar,
That churl of low degree:
"And we're all of us sailing, sailing,
To the grave., o'er the sunny sea.
And you may not, and you cannot,
Get rid of mine or me;
No, not for your crowds acid sceptres
My name is Death!" quoth he.
C. Mackay.
HUMOROUS.
jail-birds are of the same stripe.
A sole-stirring subject a nail in youi
shoe.
No dentist has yet been able to pull
the tooth of time.
The mighty dollar is not mentioned
in ornithology. Yet it is a tenth of au
eagle.
A pumped out petroleum well, like a
man driven out of his native country, it
an exile.
There is some quiet activity, but very
little bustle about tho dress reform
movement.
It may be somewhat illogical, but a
walking match ii always CApoctcd to
piy running expense.
First Tramp "The melancholy days
have come." Second Tramp "The
saddest of the year." tries, everybody
has wood to saw,"
A teacher in this city asked a class to
write an essay on "The Result of Lazi
ness," and one of the bright .but lazy
boys in the class handed in as his com
position a blank sheet of paper.
Young Crimsonbeak "Goose again
for dinner to-day?" Landlady "Yes,
sir." "Well, I declare I've boarded
here for three years and I think you'vo
had goose for dinner nearly every day."
"I guess you're right, Mr. Crimson
beak. You seldom miss a meal."
Enough Chinese to Invade the World.
A remark of the czar shows that he is
not ignorant of the Chinese question
merely as it relates to his own do
minions, but to the world at large. The
Russians were in the track of the Mongol
invasions under two great chieftains,
who desolated Europe, and it took hun
dreds of years for the Slav race to re
cover the territory then taken from
them. He has carefnlly read this por
tion of his country's history. His re
mark was to the effect tha the greatest
danger to the western world existed in
the Chinese cnipiie. It only needed an
other Tamerlane to set ia motion another
invasion comprising perhaps 20,000,000
of the hardier races of Northern Chins
to overwhelm Europe, not by their mili
tary strength or skill, but by mere force
t of numbers. If 20,000,000 were not
j enough to do the work, then 20,000,000
I more might follow, drawn from a popu
j lation that is to all intents and purposes
j numberless. San Francisco Chronicle.
Applied Proverbs.
For the doctor ' Accidents will hap
pen in the best of families."
For the dealer in cosmetics "Beauty
is only skin deep."
For the stock-raiser "Birth is much,
breeding more."
For the clothier "Borrowed gar
ments never fit well."
For the gambler "Every trade has
its tricks."
For the telephone manufacturer
"Eager ears can hear everything."
For the contortionist "Extremes
sometimes meet."
For the shoe dealer- - "If-the shoe fits,
wear it."
For the lawyer "Tn multitudes of
counsellors there is wisdom."
For the tramp- -"It takes all sorts of
people to make a world.- -Detroit Freo
Press."
A Singular Chinese Superstition.
Some years ago, as a punishment for
certain political offences, a Tibetan
Lama was informed by the Emperor of
China that after his death h.;s soul would
not be permitted to revisit this world.
But on the Lama's death recently his
pupds besf.ught the Emperor to with
dn.w his interdict. Yielding to their
ollcitar.-Oi.Sj the soul has been allowed
to reappear in tho person of a baby.
The Manchu residents of Tibet now ap
pe:d oF. behalf of this infant for the res
titnlioii of. all ihe deceased saint's post
humous honors.- ' Pall Mali Gazette.
Watch the Clock.
He (making a long call) Wnata very
odd-looking -..lock, Miss Smith. Is it an
hcirioom?
She (suppressing a yawn) Oh, no; it
is a recent purchase of papa's. He has
a penchant for such things. I was
about to coll your attention to it. New
York Sun.