!jc tfljatljaw Record. the Chatham Bttoro BATES ADVERTISING 11. V- LONDON, EDITOR AND PROPRIETOR. Ay TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION, Ay u One square, one insertion One square, two insertions One square, one month - fl.Otf 1.50 - 2XK I DOLLAR PER YEAR Stricily in Advance. VOL. X. riTTSBORO', CHATHAM CO., N. C, APEIL 26, 1888. NO. 34. For larger advertisements liberal con tracts will-be made. ram o o When 1 lie Cows Come Home. Tlii pcni.s.iys tho Chicago Farmer's . i- '1. ;i';hmmnI hi the Illustrated Christian U ivklv, .ue.ut, ls.". It has been reprinted , Nti ti-iivi It. I ut inaccurately. It in repro-.-1 Iit- w it h t !n sanction of tho author, Vi- eii' I'- Mit li'-n, and the following is t , 1 and revised copy. Tho poem jj ! t) iT.s;ttl to an English writer, and w , t i:t l i'iii months ago in an Kostern ,.,1-t. tin explanatory remark that ,. -r w.:s not known. Wit'i MinK klangle, klingle, V.iv l'n the dusk' dingle, Tlf ciws are coming home; y,..v .A.vt. and clear, and faint and low, ' :iii tinkling come and go, 1 i;.M -Iimii'm from somo far-off tower di i " ' tm April shower ' in ikes the daisies grow; v. iiM,.. !.o-'ang, kl,ing, koling!elinle- - - -IV. n L'wn the d likening uinglo Tli" (v come slowly home; .V:.- i niii'' ineinis, and twililu; plays , i ! : ni y ''Uh's, a:i 1 sunny days, I" ' ;' 'piM.:j up the ni'sty ways, U'i:i tho c iws come h Hue, U n't ji.i-V. jur-le, jingle, S -ti t-.-ics tint sweetly mingle, Th-e wviic coming home; M il vitii-, an I IV irl, an 1 Kliitnel, P Kamp, K ? Ir se, and Uretcheii Sehell, I less, and Sylph, an 1 Sp inglod Sua .iis the ficlls I hear her k-oo, And elm;- her silver bell; do-line-, lang, U !in,;, go-lang, goliiigleliugle, With f:iint, fair sounds tint minglo The or, v. come slowly home; And imther- ongs of long-gone years, And baby j ys, an I childish tears, And youthful In,'-, an I youthful foil's, AYh'u the c.'W.i com." hoiu". Willi ri'igle, ia:i ;le, tingle, JJv two., id I throes and single, 'I'l : are c mi'ii 4; home; riii"ii;li vi li: ai we seethe town, An I the sii u ii"i' su 1 a slippiue; dawn: Hi" m iple in ih h iz-l glade, Pi lows d w.i the pith a longer shade, And the hills are growing brown; To ring, to rang, lo ring, to rang, to ringlel ingle, by lines ;ih I fo-ii-s and single The cows (in slowly home; Tl: mmi -weei -i.i-.rid of w irdless ps ilm, Tl ' -1111 srt-.vt .Iiiii"-vlay re-it and calm, I'd -1111" sweet s-vi-t of bud and balm. When th cows 11 mi" homo With tin!;I-, taukle, tinkle. Tin'' -uli IVru and Kriwinkte, Th,'e.w- are coming homo; ! -i 1 1 i in the checkered stream, t li lii" .-11 -I lavi glmcj and gleam, 1 '! h i!- r.-u "U'do-iin, an I Piio.-!i Phyllis, S'.i 1 1 kn-v d.H'p in the creamy lillie:' bi a drow.-y dream; T" link, to 1 ink. T link, t -1 ink, tolitifcleliiiglo, UVr tii" bmU- with butter-cup.- a-twiukle "l " e iw - e. nue si' e. y home; An l u l br mi h M"iti'"i v's deep r.ivine ( '"'in t'l In-"k ld - ng and its old-time slf eu. And rli" ere.-.-eiit of the silver queen, Wli"!i tin- ews ei Mil'; home. With kliugl', klingle, klingle. With luvcn, an I moo-00, and jingle, The c ws are oming home; And over there u Merlin Hill He ir Ihe plaintive cry of the "Whip-poor-will; Tii" d"v-(h'i.p lie on tho tang'eJ vine?, And o"r the oplirs Veuus shines, And over the silent mill; Ko-ling, ko-lang Iv i-ling, ko-lang, koliaglelingle, With ting-a-lii-g and jingle The cows conn slowly homi; L 't down the bars, let in the train Of lung-gone sngs, and flowers, and rain, Fur dear old times come back again When the co ws como home. WEDDED IN A BLIZZARD Wh?n father too't up his claim in J) niglas3 county, Dak., thu county was new nnd thinly settled. Father and my three brothers tcok up a section and built their four homo on aljoining corners. S, as tv brothers were mar ried, we formed a little settlement by ouis.-lvcs. This was well, a our neatest neighbor lived eleven miles away, j v. :ii then a merry, romping lass of 13. all tic; wilder for I cing jint from ci.y life. The first year a very destructive cy clone vidlcd that part of tho country. Lying an it does between the Mi-souri and JntnC'i rivcis, it was feared Mich vi-itatious might be frequent, so father .il l tho boys dug a c ivo midway l.o l .veon the houses. Twice we sought n fuge there and heard tho demon of 'lost ruction at work among the fruits of our i ad in try. We escaped without in jury; but father, who wis returning from the town, twenty miles away, where wo got our mail aud supplies, was badly biuicl by the overturning of his wagon. As soon as he recovered he and die boys dug a cave about midway on t lio rou'e to the town. The location h h n arked by four tall, upright posts, which could be seen for a longdistance. Years passed with no occasion for its but father was always dreading : 'i h a time, and kept it in repair. Four happy years passed, and then a I nr'y of visitors from tho east came. Ailing them wis Frank Hoaly. We In I been e.reit friends in tlu past, aud '"came, something more during that l"!ig summer. Wc agreed to bo married in tho sl ting, and ho would stay until that time; but early iu January ho received a Miriimoiis home to Chicago, and in "-'di; I that I go along. o preparations were mado lor our m inings. tq scut to Bunker for a minister, but our messenger brought Void he could not get away. -'Could w not como to him?'" We must stait "'! Chicago at once, so decided to adopt 1-1 'I pi in. Upon the 15th, after a tear ful 30vJ.byo to nil but father, mother and Joe, who would accompany us, we started for Bunker. There was a great quintity of snow on tho ground and only ouo sleigh, that of ( our messenger the day before, had gono over the road. as a consequence our progress was slow and laborious. It was a dull, clou ly day, but wo knew nothing of blizzards then, so did not hesitate lo start; We had mentioned 1 o'clock as the time for tho ceremony, so made calculation on being at the par sonage at tint hour. Before we were two miles on our way the snow bega t to fall in great feathery flakes. Ilove a snow sjtorm and was dLelight cd to bu out in one. Seeing father and mother grave and troubled, I laughed anil jestcu, and indeed was la an unu sually merry mood for one just leaving home and frieads to go among strangers with only a husband's love to depend up )U. For some timo tho snow fell slowly and heavily, then the wind rose and tho cold began to increase. Joe suggestjd a return and hinted at possible danger. Father hesitated but Frank thought th-ro was no more dan ger in an advance than a retreat, so on we wnt. Heavens! what an experienco that was which followed. The wind howled like a hojt of de mons bent 01 destruction. Tho snow became i. fiuitusimally li ie and, driven by tho blast, stung one's il sh when ex posed like nejJle poi its. Wecjuld uoo sec to t!i' horse ' lu'adi, and at the one track was long since covered up, wo no linger knew which way we were going, and could only trust to the horses. Mothvr became alirmcd and cried quietly belli id her vail. A'l my high spirit vanished, and instead of the happy future Ihalbc.vi a :licipating I now saw nothing but a cruel death be fore us, with the snow for shroud aud pall. At 2 o'clock by Fiauk's watch wo were nearly fr..c:i, and the weary horses could scarcely move i.loug. Suddenly Joe put out hU baud atid clutched at some obj )ct closo to tho s-idc of hi sleigh. Hurrah!" his cheery voice rang out, whoa," The tired linr-sos uirtpped hut.mt'y, only too gla I of the clnuce. Joe sprang out iuto ih j yielding snow, la a mo ment. he shoute I again: 'II 11 II.'ic's another sleigh. F-'ther! Frank! Pile out here with your shovels!'' They did as he or lere I, aud mother and I rous'J I to s-.-e what it all meant. But we could see nothing, and only faintly ho;ir their voices above the rush ing wind. We soon found out, however, for father and Frank soon returned and lilted mother and me out of the sleigh, and carried us where? Into father's cyclone cave. We stared about in stupid amazement, for Joo had brought a lantern along, and he had lighted and hung it up. A mo ment later we were joined by tho minis ter from Bunker, who, finding it pos sible to get away, h id started. The mon blanketed tin poor horses, huddled them together close to the mouth of the cave, turned the sleigh box up beside them as a partial shelter, then bringing my trunk, lunch basket and the robe, j inod us. The temperature of the cave was com fortable compared with tho outer air, and wo were truly thankful for tho change. Vigorous aud continued ex ertion soon restored our benumbed limbs to their normal condition, and we settled down to a quiet discussion of the situation and tho probabilities in our favor. After a time the talk languished, and Frank made in a whisper the queerest proposition. I gave a decided negative, but at last yielded to his entreaty, and almost before tho rest knew what was going on wo stood before the minister with clasped hands, and he was speak ing the solemn word that bound us for better or worse for life. It was a strange bridal. In that low, dark cave, lighted only by tho smoky lantern, tho terrible blizzard howling overhead, and death lurking near in tho fearful cold, which steadily increased, mother cried softly, and father's voice trembled as he gave me his blessing. Frank's face was very white as ho clasped me in his arms and called me wife. My own feelings wcro a mixture of terror and happiness, such as I hope never to experience again. We remained in our safe but gloomy refuge forty-eight hours. Then we were dug out by my brothers and a party from Bunker, who were in search of the minister aid had found us by tho mounds caused by tho snow drifting over the poor horses. Two were dead and the other had to bo killed,. he was so badly frozen. Huddled together under the ground, with fifteen feet of snow over us, we had not suffered badly, and tho lunch basket filled by mother for Frank and me on our journey had sufficed to keep us from actually suffering from hunger. An apartment house which does not yield any profit must be classed among the "flat failures." Two Coyote Stories. f A t a 1 n '11 -ill jx iuruier up in me sj ipay vauey, Cal ifornia has just made the chainnion slaughter of coyote. These animals are " 1. a great pjst to-tlie sheep owners, and, tnoip.ru extremely hard to catch or kill, make serious inroads upon tho ilcks. The sheep owners have offered a reward of $29 per coyote scilp, and Fank Hamblelon the farmer in question, has just pocketed in bounties $800, the re Suit of ono ingenious bit of work. He h id a large straw stack oa his farm which h id been standing for several years, lie noticed not long ago that a good many holci had been made in it, nni-ttiat t;oyotca wcro quite numerous around it at night. S one evening ho set fire to it and hid near by to watch developments. Tho straw wa3 so damp from recent rains that the fire did not get to tho inside of the stack until after dark and a good many of tho beasts had sniclled danger and escaped. But as it was he riiked out of the ashes tho carcasses of 40 coyotes, old and young tlint had been burn:d todoath. Another coy dc story is from a stock man, who has on his cattle ranch a pair of superb staghounds which ho brought from Scotland, from their native kennel at the foot of Bau-Nevi. They are wonderfully docile and intelligent, fleet as the wind, and possess a marvelous amount of strength and endurance. The wolf they consider a foe worthy of their skill, and whenever they li id one enter a cjutcst from which they soon come oil victorious. But they ?ccra to consider the coyote an animal so des picable as to be woith only the most contemptuous notice. For one to ap pear within their sight is to bring swift punishment upon itself. But the noble hounds feel so much contempt for the animal that they will not take its des picable life. They always bite off its tail close to the runin or null it out bv the roots, and having thus set the mark of their disdain upon Mr. Coyote, they let him go while they carry home tho tail as their trophy of the chase. To such an extent have they carried on this contempt u mis warfare against the coyote race that their owner's ranch is drewn with caudal appendages, and bobtail coyotes are the rule (New York 3un. India Ink. From the earliest times "collectors" of choice brands of ink have never i con wanting, and in one respect, at least, different a; eastern aud western notions may be, they both agree in this that we do not make as good stuff now as iu former times. It was in the latter days of tho Tang dyni sty that one Li-tchao and his son, Li-ting-Kouei, set up a manufactory of ink in the small town of Chu-tcheou, which was then surrounded by magnificent forests of iir, from which fact we may reasonably infer that the b'ack was to be made from the com bustion of that wood. Tho father had grown old in tho business without mak ing any particular reputation; tho son, however, brought the processes then jniploycd to the highest pitch of per fection ; but he kept his methods a pro found secret, and since his time the jfforts of all the makers have been jirectcd to producing an ink as good as his. Yet it is allowed by connoisseurs that nobody has yet succccueu in equaling ins makes, cspe- ialiy those in shape of a sword, an.l of j round cake which are his master pieces. We are told that an infalliblo means of recognizing tho ink of Li-ting-Kouei is to break a piece off a cake and Lo throw it in water. If, in a month, the pieces are still unacted upon at the bottom of the vessel, we may be certain hat they arc really authentic. This great genius mado several qualities, which are distinguished by the charac ters stamped upon them. Three are of tho highest excellence, uu approachable by any modern ; and the fourth, which may be considered as the ordinary arti- le, bears his name, together with the title conferred upon him by imperial de cree as a reward for the services he had indirectly rendered to literature. All the Year Bound. The President's Conclusion. "Daniel,'' called tho President sharp ly to his private secretary this morning, as he heard that worthy talking to an applicant iu the outer office. 4:Yos, sire," responded Daniel, com ing in trembling. "Didn't I hear you talking to somo one?" "Yes, sire." "Who was it, Daniel?" "He wants help, sire. Ho says he is a poor democrat.'" "A poor democrat, Daniel?" "Yes, sire.'' "Well, Daniel, he must bo a mug wump. They arc tho pocr;st democrats I ever had anything to do with." Washington Critic. A Great Shot. First Nimrod "Who arc ..-going on the hunting party?" Second Nimrod- "Well, Sam Peter son is going along." "Who is Sa;u P.terson? ' "What, you don't know Sam Peter son I W iy, ho is a celebrated shot. Every lime he goes out hunting he pep pers some of his friends." Sif tings. CHILDREN'S COLUMN. A Kittle Wbvctilter. "Thei'e never was a grandma half so good! Ho whispered, while besido her chair he stood, ? And laid his rosy cheek, With manner very meek, Against her dear old fao, in loving mood. 'There never was a nicer grandma born! I know somo little boys must be forlorn Because they've none like you; I wonder what I'd do Without a grandma's kisses night and morn?" 'Thero never was a dearer grandma there!" He kissed her and he , smoothed her snow white hair; Then fixed her-ruffled cap And nestled in her lap, While grandma, suiiling, rocked her old arm-chair. When I'm a man, what lots to you I'll bring! A horse and earriago and a watch and ring. All grandmas are so nice! (Just hero he kissed her twice.) All grandmas give a boy most anything!" Before his dear old grandma could reply, This boy looked up, and with a roguish eye, Then whLsperel in her ear, That nobody might hear: "Say, grandma, have you any more mince pie" New York Journal. A Couitroui IIomJoii ntg. An intelligent dog near Boston re ceives numerous friends win never he is allowed to roam ia the back yard. A ho was standing unoccuj ic I near the door lately ono of his visitors ap proached, bearing in his mouth a nice little bone evidently fresh from the butcher'. On came the visitor and laid the bone carefully at the hos-t's foi t and then retired with a pleasant wag of the tail to a safe distance. B th dogs looked at each other molionle s, 1 ut soon the host understood tho friendly mcauing of the gift and began to show appreciation in tho best manner by hav ing a good luucheon of bono. Boston Journal. Sly "Little Vi.itur. One summer, while living in Colo rado, I frequently had the niot charm ing little visitor vou ever saw. You could never guess what it was, so I will tell you; it was a little deer. It be longed to a lady living near us. She had bought it from some Mexicans, who had brought it in fro tK- --: -lew miles distant. It was a light brown color, with white spots on its sile; and had such soft hair and silky cars, and the most beautiful eyes I ever saw. At first it was very shy, but iu a few days it grew tame, got accustomed to its new home, and as we lived near, and theje was no fence between tho houses, it soon got in the way of coming to see us. It would come into the kitchen where I would be preparing dinner, and putting its nose iu my hand, beg in its pretty way for a bit of pie or cake. It was very fond of vegetables, especially cabbage, and would often go through the whole house in search of its favor ite vegetable, frequently going to tho front part of the building, where my husband kept a store containing all sorts of groceries, provisions and fresh vegetables; here tho little deer felt quite at homo (unless there were stran gers in, when he was very ehy), and he would help himself to anything ho wanted, sometimes going behind the counters, whero he would hunt among the different sacks of dried fruit for currants, for which he seemed to have an especial fondness, more than once eating his fill of them, until my hus band said "Dicky" (that was his name) must - do better than that, or stay out of the store. Once during an illness that kept me confiued to my bed for several days, Dicky would come every day at about the same time, and stamp on the door step with his fore foot, until somo one would open the door for him, when ho would come in, and coming straight to my bed, lay his head in ray hand. I grew very much attached to hiuo, but as tho weather grew cooler, ho often wandered away from home, and wrould be gone two or three day3, and finally, much to the grief of his mistress, disappeared a' together. She thought he had been stolon, but I think it was only hi wild uaturo as serting itself, or ho had fallen ia com pany with other deer, preferring their society to ours. Ono day during tho following summer, whilo at supper, in a room opening off from tho store-room, and adjoining the kitchen the doors being open clear through a largo deer stepped into tho store, aud coining on through the room whore we were, with out, however, paying much attention to us, walked out iuto tho kitchen and coolly picked up a small loaf of bread that I had just brought from tho baker's, and walked out at the back door. When I had recovered from my astonishment sufficiently to think, I went to the door to look for him, but ho was nowhero to be seen, nor did we ever see him again. He had grown wonderfully, but I am sure it was Dicky. Farm, Field and Stock. The government of Egypt has been persuaded to make surveys which prove the existence of a depressed region nearly sixty miles long by twenty miles wide, reaching a depth of 350 to 300 feet below high Nile, HOWLING DERVISHES Some Strange Religious Rites in Turkey. A Three-Year-old Child a Fren zied Participant. A Constantinople correspondent of the San Francisco Chronicle sends that paper an account of some of the religious rites of the Re face, or the Howling Dervishes. These, he says, arc but one of tho numerous orders of Dervishes who wield an irresistible iuflueuco over the public mind in Turkey. Their no table Take is a low, weather-beaten old buildiug, standing on the edge of the great cypress-shaded Turkish cemetery that crowns the heights of Sontoric and is almost as dilapidated, as most of tho monuments and gravestones tnat sur- rouud i. Tho space allotted to the "howlers" was well-filhd, yet a good many both of young and old, were still coming, and after going forward to where the high priest sat, they reverently bowed to the dust, then taking the priest's hind, gently kissed it and retired. Directly behind the priest was a small alcove, painted a bright green and filled with a variety of antique small arm-, swords, daggers, battle axes, etc. On tho walls were many mottoes or sentences in frames, and some prayer rugs. A small brazen cci scr containing burning frankincense aud spices, filled the room with aromatic fragrance. Around three sides of tho low room were galleries, some closely latticed aud occupied by Turkish women, others open and filled with curious spectators like ourselves. Tin best location was rcscived for Turkishge11lle1r.cn and sol diers. Beneath these galleries was still another, elevated a step or two above the main floor and separated from it by a low railing and furnished with scats for spectators. O.i the main floor were spread many lugs of Angora goatskin, on which were seated old men, regular patriarchs iu appearance, whilo two groups of little ihildrea were ranged behind them. Seated closo to the low railing were rows of men clothed iu the JlOWlllU re!vi51. xi.-ii.l'n !il t. n.fob.rod "galuph," a tall, biimlcss felt hat, strongly resembling an inverted flower pot, bound round the head by a long black tcarf with ends left flowing. These cuds were at intervals during the service tenderly pressed to the lips. At other limes the eyes were carefully wiped with these mour.iing badges. Conspicuous before the high riest stood a lithe figure with a pale, cadaver ous countenance, but a keen, penetrat ing eye, who was slowly manipulating a long, -flute scarf. He first threw it around his shoulders, thus symbolizing the all-embracing love of Allah; then binding it tightly about his waist, ho began tying and untying it, each knot having a particular significance. His whispered words will bear this inter pretation: "I tie up greed; I untie charity. I tio up hate; I untie love. I tie up pride; I untie humility." And so on through a long list. Then began a monotonous chant that soon swelled to a tremendous howl. All rose to their feet and kept time with swaying body and jerking head in a frantic manner. Tho old and feeble among them gradually dropped out f tho circlo and took seats on rugs near tho centre of tho room, besides tho rows of standing children. At length the eyes of the spectators became nvited upon the face and figure of a 3-year-old baby, who stood for two long hours swaying its frail body in perfect unison with tne dervishes and with his rosy cherub mouth uttering the same indescribably imMessive cry of Allah! When the rude throng had at length worked them selves up to a state of religious frenzy the little boy also rolled his bright eyes about as if beholding a heavenly vision. To my mind nothing was so impres sive as the power of endura ce showa by the infants on exhibition. I shud der when I think of the torture t icy must have been subjected to ii the pri vatc drill necessary to prepare thorn for such a performance in public. S mc of the children seemed free to pass in and out at will, but the tiny boy spoken of above and a little girl (a hunchback) never left their posts a minute, nor ceased to sway their bodies and shout until the performance was concluded, by a louder clapping and howling, more violent jerking of tho head and wilder tumult than before. Then a sudden hush, when, without a signal or look from any one, this lovely little baby de murely inarched up to the high priest to receive his blessing, then laid him down, his face to the ground before the venerable man. Another, who appeared to bo a high chid of the order, now took the sta'wart priest by the hand while he placed both feet on the body of this frail infant and stood with his face turned upward, while he muttered what appeared to be a prayer. Then oth r chialr.-n followed. First came the little hunchback, th-n three or four at a time, li tally tm or twelve laid down, forming a human "corduroy road" for the high priest to walk over, until at least twenty chil dren had thus received his blessing and had the evil spirit driven out of them, Thi3 ceremony is supposed to bo a pan acea, and there arc always numbers of mvalids brought to the Take during services to be cured of some real or im aginary ill. (jetting Servants in China. Tho ways of tho housekeeper are in deed made smooth for her-ia China, in deed so smooth that, unless she, has children to care for,, her timo often hangs very heavily on her hands. The interior management and care of tho house is entirely entrusted to the ma jordomo or Lutler, called the "Kwan Su," or chief of tho bottles. But more frequently he is simply called "boy." Bells not being much used in China, ycu often hear the cry of "Bhooy?' coming from the neighboring house. Do not be alarmed. It is probably only madame calling for hor sod an chair, or the master who wants his bran ly and soda, tho standard drink of foreigners all over the far East. In taking a house ia China the first thing is to get a good boy, the second to have him "secured." The securing consists in getting somo rep utable or wealthy Chinaman to agree that if tho boy runs away with any thing he will cither produce him or pa' the amount of the los. The servants ir; the East arc all of the male sex, and women are. never employed about t house except where there aie children, or where a lady ha3 a 1 iimah as her per sonal attend int. The am ill's duties lie in keeping her mistress's room in order, drcssiug her hair, iu sho:t, performing the duties of a lady's maid, and, if there are young children, in looking af ter them. Inmost cases there is one amah tc each child. She nceives, according to qualifications, from $3 to 10 a month as wages, out of which she feeds her self, her wages iu fact being higher than those of the other suvants. Fe male servants are in China, as every where else, a source of internal discord, as they arc constantly carrying tiles or making mischief, r.nd a lady who can do without an am ih thereby gets rid of almost the only vexation in her house keeping life. ffr-md IT n :rL-nniiincr 500 Tons of Pills a Year. "There are eleven and one-half tons of postage s'amps sold at tho New York postoflicc every year," remarked a manufacturing chemist to a New York Mail and Express reporter. "Now guess how many tons of pills aro mado in this country every year." "What hive postage stamps to do with pilU? "Nothing whatever, save that each is useful iu its way. I ouly cited the post- office vend to .;ivj you an ilea of tho great weight of snvill things whoa con sidered in bulk. Give it utj? Well, as nearly as can be figured, they will arount to over 52 tons a year. A ton a week is a fair estimate. Ia Eigland alone there arc 2,000.000,000 consumed every ye ir. That reduced to tons would make about 40. How many are used in other countries it would hi hard to say, but tuc total estimate would not come far from 450 tons. Say 500 tons. are used a year by the entire world. The habit of pill-taking is ancient. It is the movt convenient form for carry ing and taking, and is tho most popular. Formerly they w.-ro male by hand. Now they are producol by michiicry. There arc a few manufacturers who make 1,000,003 pills a week. Big business, isn't it?'' The Crow ami the Farmer's Dog. An old Crow baskrd in the wintry sunshine oa tli3 bough of a leafless tree just outside tin barnyard fence. With I linking eyes he watched the Farmer's Dog at lm dinner of tones, and waited for a chance to steal some of the remains. The Dog raised his eyo "Bo offl' he cried. "What do you want in tho neighborhood of good and respectable birds? You aro a vagrant and good-for-nothing." "I may not be very good," calmly re plied the crow, but I have manage 1 to reach a prosperous old age, which i3 more than cm be said for the unfortu nate and worthy turkey whose bones you have just devoured. The truly good die youag. A little worldly wis dom doesa' t hurt us in the race of life." And hastily snatching up a bono he vanished in the frosty air. This fable is not for the young. Life. Bar ara Fritchic. Some of lhe relatives of the late Barbara Fritchic in Frederick, Md , re cently sent to Mr, Jdm G. Wbitttcr, who immortalized the venerable lady ia verse, a number of table articles which formerly belonged to Mrs. Fritchic. Mr. Whittier acknowledged the re ceipt of the articles some days ago and stated in his letter that he had become convinced that hi poem entitled "Bar bara Fritchia" wa-s b ;sed upon a sup posed inci dent t iat h d no foundation, but that he was glal to know, never- theless, that she was a loyal womau. f Baltimore Sua. " Laugh." Laugh! aye laugh, my darling! 'Twill ease the gnawing pain; 'Twill fall on the heart's wild burning As falls the cooling rain. Laugh! aye laugh, my darling! The w orld will love you moro For the after-rainbow of laughter Than the rain of tears before. Laugh ! 'twill light the darkness That falls like a chilling shroud. Smile! and woo the sunshine That's hidden behind the cloud. Laugh! and the dark of sorrow Will brighten with a star. Smile! and hope will follow Though shining from afar. Bthile! for the pleasure of others This is the braver part. The smiles that comfort others Will comfort thine own heart. Laugh! aye laugh, my darling! Tomorrow will fairer be For the bravery of tho present And tho laughter of today. Inter-Ocean. HUMOROUS. A last resort Tho shoemaker's shop. Tho longest reign in history Tht deluge. S:icks at nothing The theatrical swordsman. The woman question: "What are yot going to trim it with?" "Another Cuban outrage," said Col. Sozzle, after vain efforts to make a 20 cent cigar draw. Never ask a crust of a crusty man. Ask him for meat, for he'll givo you a cold shoulder with pleasure. Mamma "Eiitb, can you tell me what faith is?" Edith (aged six years) -"Oh, yes; it is believing what ycu know isn't true P Hanks "Don't care if I do take s drink, thank you, for I am awfully thirsty. Why, I have a perfect Sahara inside me." Banks (giving large ordci to waiter) "AH right, old mm, you hall be treated according to your des- rt.' In an advertisement by a railroad ompauy of sonn uncalled-for goods the letter "1" had dropped from the word "lawful" and it read: "Peoplo to whom tho PviM are uirccicu r rrmiested to come forward and pay the awful charges on tho same." "Just think, darling, a week ago we were utter strangers, and now wo are jngaged !'' "Ah, yes, Mr. De Hob3on, lear, it was a case of love at first sight. 'Mr. Do Hobson? Why don't you call me by my first name, darling? ' "Be cause, precious," the girl replied, shyly "I don't know what it is." She was a pretty salesgirl, He asked for a kiss For he was the accepted Of the fair and blushing miss. She gave him one, and as she drew Her rosy lips away, "Is there" she asked in trembling tones, "Anything else today?" The Fathers of Presidents. Grover Cleveland is tho only clergy- nan's son who has ever been elected president, though Arthur's father was a dergyman. He was not, however, sleeted president. Tho fathers of the Virginia Presidents Washington, Jef- crson, Madison and Monroe were jlanters. John Tyler s father was a awycr and a statesman, and John idams, the father of John Quincy Ad- imsf was by profession a lawyer. 3rant's father was a tanner. Hayes' ather a merchant, and tho fathers of -1 ? 1 ,i t; i u; f : 1 1 jarueiu, jjiueuiu, xiurcc, aiuluoiu. Polk, Van Buien and Jackson were 'armors. The chances or tho presi lency in the past have thus been with he farmers' boys, and out of the 18 presidents elected by tho peoplo only me has been a parson's son. New Pork World. The Largest Silver Nugget. The biggest silver nugget in tho vorld was recently on exhibition in Sew York. It weighs 006 1-2 ounces, ind was found at tho Greenwood group )f mines in the State of Michoacan, Mexico. Fifty-nine others, weighing 'rom one to thirty-five pounds each, urcre found there at tho same time. Tho )ig nugget was found on tho surface, ind in its original condition weighed welve pounds more. It is almost puro ilver. Mr. Watson of the United States .ssaycr's Office, say3 it is tho finest pecimcn he ever saw. The Weight or a Heart The average weight of men's hearts, .ays the Medical News, is eleven ounces nch, and of women's only nine ounces, rhu -, when they give and take or ex hangc hearts, man is tho loser, quality )cing equal. Man's average brain reighs forty-nine and a half ounces and -roraan's forty-four. Tho average veight for both lungs is for men forty ive ounces and for women thirty-two. He Was Hopefnl. Smith I sec you are keeping com any with Miss Jones yet. Brown Yes. "Does it mean business?" "C iu'ttcll. I wouldn't be surprised, j ;hough, if I receive da proposal soon. ' I ;Binghamton Republican. mi --s.ji-

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